The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Obama's Mask-Charade | Nick Di Paolo Show #584

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

This is How I'm Doin', Mayor! Are U Dog-Stylin' Me? The Fish are Over-Biting!

Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. Judging from that, he's more than half white. guitar solo Achoo! How are you, folks?

Here we are again, another Monday morning, huh? Don't forget, this Friday I'll be up in Cohoes doing stand-up for the first time in 11 light years. Ought to be fun. Don't sit in the first row, you'll drown under dust. Alrighty then. I'm actually really funny when I haven't been on in a while because I have no idea what I'm doing, and it shows. What the hell's going on in the world today? Oh, what a weekend.

As you know, the house is being torn to shreds. It's being torn asunder, the kitchen. So, you know, we already have things blocked up. All of a sudden, I'm in the foyer. My wife walks in the foyer. We see a bubble in the ceiling. A big bubble about eight inches, 10 inches wide with water in it. We're like, no, now what? And let me just say something, all right? I'm not a fan of old houses. If it was me, I'd be living in a condo that was built 10 minutes ago and then I'd sell it 20 minutes later. But anyways, yeah, so we figure it out. One of the pipes upstairs

in the bathroom. It's an old house. Must have given way. And then another issue, the guys that are working in the kitchen to the back end of the kitchen, all of a sudden water's dripping. Before they were going to sheet rock and we have a lake somewhere on the roof that's running down. Anyhow, what's that mean? It means I can't use the upstairs bathroom, which is really private. It means we have to buy a makeshift shower curtain, and we're hillbillies. It means I've got to use the bathroom downstairs where everybody, the electricians, plumbers want to use it every five minutes. I'm in there

doing a 50-minute crossword puzzle. I'm not very social. You know that. Anyways, that's that. I love these guys. These Southern guys, man, they don't bust balls. They're just, the people are nicer down. They don't bust each other's balls like we do up north. You know, I'm listening to them. They're like, yeah, you probably couldn't put a nail in a donkey's as opposed to your sister's tit, you fucking jerk. You know, I'll get to that guy in a second. They're just nice. They're playing country and Western mute and they're just hardworking, good people. Salt of the earth there. All right, let's get to it, huh? Speaking of Obama dancing away, what did he break his back? He's got a body cast into those clothes? Jesus Christ. He's

got to be 110% white. How about that bash, huh? How about that bash? They want us to mask up like Hawkeye Pierce going into surgery. These pricks are running around faceless, smoking joints, eating caviar. It really is like Rome. You got the, it's going to get ugly. A performer at former President Barack Obama's 60th birthday party managed to take stealth pictures of the opulent Martha's Vineyard event, and he shared them with Instagram followers. Oh, boy. Rapper Trap Beckham, who's got, he's a, this guy, I like his old shit, manager T.J. Chapman discreetly snapped pics of the events, high-end food, drinking swag, offerings, and talked to their followers as the party unfolded, according to screenshots of the post, which were later deleted under the event's photography ban.

We all know you're not supposed to do that. It's a big rule. But anyways, the recording artist and his handler posted themselves smoking cannabis the same way, you know, Mitch McConnell would. That's pretty good shit. Now, the Democrats, I'm starting to see their point on legalizing it. Pence, try this. Pence, try this. Anyways, smoking joints, which is legal in my home state of Massachusetts, but come on now.

Yeah, we get it. Yes, we get it. You're the cool president's friends. Snaps of the open bar show bottles of top shelf liqueur and cigars and s'mores cocktails garnished with melted marshmallows. How do you make a drink out of a s'mores? What in God's, I will try it tonight, I'll tell you that much. How's that going to be bad? Other than it's 450,000 calories. Despite Questlove being enlisted to coordinate a meat-free menu, you boring people.

Why would you have Questlove, what's he weigh, about 386 on a dry day? And that's what he eats. You ought to start trying meat there, Quest. It speeds up your metabolism. Anyways, a meat-free menu photo showed that apparently he didn't do a good job because there was pictures of steak, chicken, and shrimp available with rice greens and potatoes on the side. Delicious. Bon appetit.

Look at that. Now that's some dog poop with basil on the side of dead pigeon. What a great country, huh? Gold napkins, masks, and backstage passes. See it says TIX on that, I think? Tick 60? Those are the invitations that went out. Gold napkins, masks, and backstage passes.

Backstage passes? What are we at? The Rock and Roll Inductees Hall of Fame? They were emblazoned with that. oh, 4-4-6-0. I don't see a 4 there. A reference to the 44th president's 60th birthday and the number of felonies he committed his first year. And bathroom amenities included antiperspirant wipes,

a lint roller, an Advil. Who gives a shit? They're like, Pelosi, come and load up on the Advil. This bitch gives everybody a headache. Beckham, who reportedly performed a version of his hit,

Birthday Bitch. I think it was a remake. Didn't Pat Boone do that in the 70s? Birthday Bitch. He's calling the president a birthday bitch. What a country. Who was also sung to by I Hate Whitey's Alicia Keys,

who's about, you know, 95% white, but she doesn't ever admit it. John Legend later posted about the party. He said, I had to delete everything due to the rules, Beckham reportedly explained. It was epic for sure. If any videos surface, it's going viral. He danced the whole time.

Nobody ever seen Obama like this before. I guess you never saw him being interrogated. By 1 a.m., the scaled-down shindig had officially petered out. Look at the place. Look at this. Show the house from the outside. I wasn't even looking at what you were showing, but go ahead. What do we got left? Look at this. Show the house from the outside. I wasn't even looking at what you were showing, but go ahead.

What do we got left? Look at this. Yeah, I bet you, I bet you, Michelle, you know how she always says her kids are frightened when they have to, she's frightened for her kids when they leave the house. What a racist country, huh, Michelle? What a phony two-faced, at least your husband was the president. Phony, two-faced. At least your husband was the president.

Anyway, the shindig peed it out as throngs of famous guests and workers clogged the roads of small-town oak bluffs. I've been there a million times. Didn't go to Obama's house. Creating a shit show of traffic. That's why people started congestion on the resort island, the police said. That was their quote.

Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go. Let's go. You know, that's some Republican getting caught between, like, Larry David's wife and fucking Badu, whatever the fuck her name is. Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, George Clooney,

Jennifer Hudson, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Bradley Cooper, Don Cheadle, Gabrielle Union, Dwayne Wade, Bruce,

I hate the cops, Springsteen, and Erykah Badu. Also jerk off Stephen Colbert and John Longface Carey with which is some of the Roman celebrity guests at the Seaside Affair. What a racist country, folks, huh? What was marketed as a gathering for close personal friends and family, guess what?

Resulted in a crowd large enough to fill the EDM event with more mass to be found, with no mass to be found at the event. Wow. How about that? No mass, huh? No mass. No mass at the event. A video was released for Obama's event

filmed by someone we suspect, Erykah Badu and Rick James, what's it say? Cosplay? Cosplay. Or the music artist named H-E-R, which is offensive. It should be they. Who the fuck is H-E-R? Anyways, no masks. A lot of them didn't have masks on. You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. Don't tell me what to do. The crafty cinematography caught Barack Obama and several attendees dancing maskless

in one of the massive tents spotted from these set-up photos released by the Daily Mail. And that's why I was talking about this in the first place. Do as we say, not as we do. It'll never change. Every time you hear Barack, more so his wife, about how racist this country is and how mean and blah, blah, blah and sexist,

she's saying it from her 35,000-foot square house in Martha's Vineyard surrounded by filthy white rich people. When's the last time you've been back to the hood, Michelle? Now, I don't blame them for not wearing, I wouldn't have a problem with them not wearing masks because I think it's all bullshit. But because you tell us we have to, I'm going to point it out. Who the fuck do you think you are? It's we the people. Boy, have we forgotten that. are. It's we the people. Boy, have we forgotten that. My God. January 6th. What a disappointment. Anyhow, let's go to another highfalutin guy who is an expert and said, do what I say, not what I do. One of the big, even libs don't like this guy.

He's on his way out the door. Thank God. I hope Curtis Sliwa wins the mayoral race in New York City. God, I pray that would be so interesting. Anyways, I just saw this clip this morning. Guys, I laughed so hard. No, last night I found. I laughed so hard. First of all, I watched it in bed. I'm not kidding you, for 10 minutes straight. It's over on a loop. And then when I got my car to drive here today, I put it on. I plugged my phone in, and it was on, playing through my radio. And I just left it on. About a 12-minute ride, 10, 12-minute ride.

It just, this is such a New York moment. And this is why this country is great. This is such a New York moment, and this is why this country is great. Jerkoff was walking down the street, de Blasio, and he says to some kid, a guy, how you doing? And this is, watch this, this is what happens. Not fucking good, you fucking rat, sc scumbag fucking fag you're in the wrong fucking city fucking scumbag oh take your fucking mask off you fucking scumbag fuck you fuck all you motherfuckers de blasio you're a fucking fucking cuntunt, Red. Fucking rat.

Fuck out of here. You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag,

fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. Oh, my God. Could that New York accent be anything? Is that not a New York moment? And you see when you watch it. Again, I studied it for hours. You see when he starts going, you're not very good, you fucking rat fuck.

You see de Blasio just a little twitch. He was going to stop or whatever and he thought better of it. It sounded like he went up to Christopher Moltisanti and went, hey, how you doing? How am I doing, you fucking rat bastard?

Cunt rag. Boy, I think I have a new one for Thanksgiving when the stuffing's dry. Oh, my God. But did de Blasio ask the wrong guy? And then did you hear de Blasio's handle? All right, he got the point. And I love the guy who goes, fuck you, too. We ought to get this guy to marry Tina from the Bronx. If she's not already married, I'm sure she has a boyfriend. That is a New York moment. If you haven't lived in New York, you'd experience about four of those a year. And it's just precious.

It's what makes this country great. Explain to the shitheads who voted for de Blasio and like his politics, do you see if you did that in another country, you'd be disappeared, as they say. Do you get it? That's what makes this the greatest. And you're trying to shut it down? Free speech? Silicon Valley? If they had it their ways, they'd arrest that guy, just like communist China would. How long would you last if you said that to Kim Jong-un? Anybody seen Daddy?

Now he mouthed off, you fucking scumbag rat fuck. God, like I said, I listened to that like it's white noise. I went to sleep last night. For me, it's like waves on a beach just crashing. Anyhow, so they've divided us again, folks. Whether it's black, white, they know how to do it, right? Republican, red versus blue, lib versus conservative, mask versus non-mask. Now it's vaccine versus non-vaccinated.

They've just diced and sliced us. The restrictions are coming back like we said they would be coming back. I mean, from what I'm hearing, you're never going to be able to take this shit off. Unless, again, we get together like the—we are the government, but apparently we're all too lazy. I saw this guy, Dr. Ryan Cole, and most of you people will like it because you have the same politics as me, and I agree with him.

But yes, of course, there's other people poo-pooing him and saying he's wrong. I don't care. Here's how I look at the vaccinated thing, folks. Like, I've heard since this started, I've read about five or six pieces where the guys were world-renowned doctors

saying that it's bullshit. That's enough for me. One doctor who has a PhD in this shit, understand? That's worth more than 500,000 darn lemons telling you to put your... You see what I'm saying? I go where the people who have the credibility.

Well, what about the doctors who say it's not bullshit? Ah, they're hacks. How do I know that? Because they're on Don Lemon's show. I go by empirical evidence,

they call it. Like watching UFC... Oh, Derek Lewis got his clock cleaned by ghanai by the way not even close in front of 20 something thousand of his fans in houston uh it wasn't pretty almost look like he quit beat it like a redheaded stepchild anyhow there's like 20 something thousand people in that arena um nobody's died and again april 1st opening day in baseball, Texas Rangers had 40,000.

Did you hear of a mass grave being dug in Arlington? No. I go by empirical evidence. You know, well, Nick, why don't you? Well, first of all, they don't know how the long-term effects. That's why I'm not big on getting it. I don't want to be in an iron lung in four years or dialysis.

The biggest thing for me is we know the vaxxer doesn't work and that's what this guy's going to tell you. Don't take my word for it. 2.4 business major from Maine. We know, but we know. That's the point. You don't have to be this guy to know.

If the vaccine worked, why are they telling people who got the latest jab to still wear their masks? Why would I do that? Not to mention I already had COVID. Probably have the antibody still in me. And a lot of doctors say there's no reason to put it. And it's not even a quote. I'm going to show you the clip in a second.

Relax. It's not even a vaccine, he says. It's like an investigative experiment. A lot of doctors are calling it gene therapy. Because when you manipulate a cell and what it's made up of, that's considered like gene therapy. And that's what the vaccine's doing. Don't take my word for it.

This guy was on an infomercial late at night with a white lab coat. So I know he knows what he's doing. No, this guy's world-renowned. This is a symposium he held in Texas. You'll notice his footwear right off the bat. I was watching him. I go, oh, shit, I want to agree with him. But what the, he's got

cowboy boots on. Okay, so I'm going to show you four clips about a minute long each, but again, he's got slides and a little more credibility than somebody like Pelosi just saying, put it on, you're going to die. Gah, gah, gah! Okay, let's listen to

Ryan Cole. Scientist. Okay, so this spike protein doesn't stay just in the deltoid. The spike circulates in your blood. It lands in multiple organs in the body. And you know what happens? That spike protein without the body of the virus present. We did studies in lab animals. In the lab animals, just in injecting the spike with no body of the virus. The spike induced the same diseases COVID-19 induced. The

same lung disease, the same vascular disease, the same heart disease, the same brain disease. The spike is the toxin. So again, why are we injecting something into the human body that is the toxin? It is the toxin. It causes the disease. This isn't a vaccine. Houston, we have a problem. Okay, that's not Bill Maher getting a round of applause from his sycophants. That's other world-renowned doctors in the audience. Well, Nick, he could be wrong. Well, I don't know.

Because when you're that high profile, you're putting your career on the line, right? What am I talking about? There's so much evidence. Remember when COVID first broke out in China? Remember the woman reporting on it? She disappeared? What are we talking about here?

We're forgetting about how easy it is to know this is horse shit. My biggest thing is the Democrats telling me it's good for me and mainstream media. Yeah, they've never lied to us. Get the fuck out of here. No, for nothing to you. I read about this shit. It doesn't stay in your deltoids. It goes all over the place.

That was pretty good. Cocaine. Clip number two, he talks about the effect it has. It penetrates the brain membrane. I guess most vaccines don't do that. Interesting, huh? Did anybody know this? Except for Joy Behar when she shit her brains out

uh let's roll this why ace2 receptors in that lung spike binding to it inflammatory response immune system attacking your own body disease from the spike disease from your own clot shot investigational vaccine they keep lying to the American public by calling it a vaccine. They keep taking the word investigational off. It's what they call it in the emergency authorization. They keep not calling it what it is, investigational, an experiment on humanity. And that's what they're doing, and I'm showing you why. Spike is a toxin. Crosses the blood-brain barrier. Kind of like my brain cells to be where they are and not be blown apart, right?

It won't affect Democrats. Why in the world would we put a toxin into the human body that's going to disrupt the blood vessels in your brain, allow the spike in there, or cause inflammation? The brain fog you hear about from the COVID patients, guess what? You hear about it in the post-vaccinated damaged individuals as well. But no, nobody's hurt by the shot. There's not been one death. There's not been one injury. That's what they tell you. It's a lie. And this is science. Okay, here we go. That's all the blue on top. Those are brain cells. It's not even a vaccine. It's a fucking investigation. it's not even a vaccine it's a fucking investigation

of course again nobody who watches the show probably disagrees with me that's the problem but you put yourself out there when you do this shit don't you I don't know I sort of believe him over Fauci why is that I don't know Fauci sort of believe him over Fauci. Why is that?

I don't know. Fauci has connections with Bill Gates and his money involved. He was the best guy around. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And again, I know there's people, there's other doctors saying that he's wrong and shit. But again, go by empirical evidence.

If tomorrow, if I put on the news and I hear that out of the 20-something thousand people that were at the UFC fight in Houston this weekend, and they say, even, let's say, I'll give you 181 of them died. I'll think about getting it. It's an about the occasion. All right, then he talks about the effect on the heart. Roll them. Okay, left-hand side, about the effect on the heart. Roll them.

Okay, left-hand side, all the blue dots, inflammation. See that gray in the middle? That's early scarring. Guess what? Once a heart cell is damaged, it's damaged forever. It doesn't replace itself with another. Tell me about it. Linda Corrado left my heart scarred in high school.

All kinds of inflammation. Get it out like a nectarine. Boy, I'm losing my Tony. Go ahead. Another heart cell, it replaces itself with a scar. So you tell me you want to give a 12-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 13-year-old, an 18-year-old a shot, and we see about a 200 times increase in myocarditis in our society right now. That's a good idea. Let's give a kid a toxin ruin his heart for life Stop and think about we're doing Insanity we need to stop the insanity Immediately this is over game over. This is no longer good science

This is a poisonous attack on our population and it needs to stop now Okay on our population and it needs to stop now. Okay. Too much coffee. I don't know, it sounds like he knows what he's talking about. But again, I don't go by what people say. I go by what I see. I go by what I see. And as the dirty feminist whores always say, my body, my choice. Do we got one more? We do. One more, folks. I thought this was interesting. Go ahead. I mean the whole.

So this is something, Dr. Nordhausasm, just like Dr. Urso mentioned, patient who has already had COVID, COVID recovered, brought beautiful immunity. They're lying to you to say that it's not equal to a vaccine immunity. I love the blue pen rainbow analogy Dr. Urso gave. Screened before vaccine, there's a multiple fold increase risk of adverse reactions. If you've had covid and recovered you

get a shot you hyper rev that immune system you may be screwed and or dead oh all right i'm gonna reiterate one cannot find okay that's why i'm not getting it as you know i explained to you i had it before they even had tests for it remember that weekend when it really kicked off and I was on eight different planes? Oh, my God. And that's the thing. You're not hearing about the bad reactions. They let it drip and drab. Go ahead.

That's it? Of course. I really know when to stop on, huh? You know, so a lot of credibility there. But again, I know there's going to be people who also have degrees up the ass. But don't go by them. Like I said, listen to them and then go. If you see 11 bodies piled up on your driveway or whatever, then get nervous until then.

But we know who's behind it. Put up the evil wonder. Ah! The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Yes, I did. Billy Gates. Apparently he's a real pussy hound in his day, too.

Anyhow, let's get on to i'll show you somebody who um has her own way instead of getting a vaccine of making herself immune to this uh very very different way um and uh i'm on the fence about this in our are you dog styling me segment tonight tongue and chick is the headline a bizarre video showing a woman this is in england by the way showing a woman uh licking everything she can get her hands on has been shared online but she insists that it's good for her. Really? It's good for her, she says. Let's take a look at, again, to each his own. But how about if this lady doesn't have the shits, there's no such thing. Let's take a look at how she's claiming what she's doing here,

licking everything in the store, raises her immune. By subjecting herself to germs, your body fights them off. You know how it works. Take a look at this. Annoying music. She's licking the bags. I want to hate her, but she's kind of cute. No! Oh, pause. Why is that turning me on? And why does that not look like a door handle right now to me? If you know what I'm saying, you know?

What is she... Thank you. A, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. Okay, go ahead. I'd go up and lick it right after if I saw that. Oh, now that's it. That's where she loses me.

You've seen people at Walmart with their rotten, filthy, tick-like children sitting in that shopping cart, drooling on it with their waterhead babies and dirty diapers touching it. Look at her. She couldn't be happy. Tell me she's not crazy in the sack. Honey, will you lick my... Oh, that's right. It's you. Why would I even ask? In the clip, the woman licks her shopping trolley. Oh, it's a trolley in England.

That means what? They pick up other people and they're going down the aisle. Oh, it's a trolley in England. That means what? They pick up other people and they're going down the aisle. A door handle, the edge of a plastic bag, her husband's ball bag, and pretty much everything else she can find. The video features strange captions, including not law. What does that mean?

And oxygen and smiles are life. Oh, she is crazy. Then germs fortify your immune system. Exposure to germs builds defenses against asthma and allergies. Here, as a kid, I had horrible asthma, and I was going to the Malahi Clinic every Tuesday and getting sick shots in my arm. I should have been just going to the supermarket with my mother and licking the toilet seat at the

Greyhound bus station. Since it was shared online, the woman in the video was blasted by others saying that her actions set a terrible example. Well, only if you're a tart enough to follow it. I would like to say to her, how about your germs spreading on me? One person said, probably online, is she having her kid film that? What a great example she's setting for him. That's your biggest problem with this, really? And another said, what a horrible, stupid person and a terrible mother. There are literally people out there like

this, added a third person, saying that they filmed this shit thinking they're doing the Lord's work, and it's hilarious. Comma, do be a bitch. Should be the name of my next album. Her daughter tried it the next day, and her daughter came home, and we have a clip of her daughter

in the bathroom, don't we? That's horrible. Oh! Apparently something on the frozen food section handle that didn't sit right with her. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Have some fucking vittles. Let's move on, shall we? No! No! No, no, no! Oh, no.

In our FLA segment tonight, what is going on in Florida? The question is, what isn't going on? Mixed martial arts, is the headline. Police arrested a Florida martial arts instructor after he allegedly placed hidden cameras in the restrooms of his academy where kids were taking classes and shit.

He's looking at you, kid. What in God's name? What? How desperate? First of all, how many guys would get busted doing this? So what makes you think you're going to get away with it? Pembroke Pines police arrested 64-year-old Robert

Franco Friday after a 17-year-old female student at the academy noticed cameras hidden inside picture frames in the restroom last month. Jesus, how about the eagle eye on this girl? Maybe it was the boom mics that gave it away.

That's not her. That's just a stock photo that I use every night in the show. Listen, what? Who in? Come on, now. The female student then took photographs of the camera before confronting Franco, prompting him to destroy the cameras and frames. They asked him, you know.

They asked him, you know, they asked him, you know, if it was him. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger, no Will Robinson. I don't know nothing about that. Are you sure? Your eyes say you do. Your students say it's you.

I don't know nothing about that. You do too, you liar. Police say the student also notified her father, who contacted 911, as opposed to my dad, who went down there with a tire iron, opened the guy's skull like a fucking, if that was my sister or something. Officers arrived on the scene and immediately began investigating,

seizing a phone and a computer for evidence. That can't be good. Investigators found that the cameras had been in place in the restroom since Franco took over the academy in March, capturing images of both adults and children. You're in deep, you in trouble now, Raj? An arrest warrant was issued for Franco several days later with the instructor surrendering himself to Broward County authorities on Friday. Police say Franco attempted to offer an explanation. What could you possibly...

He tried to offer an explanation. There's an old joke that this guy in New York... It's not an old joke. When I first moved to New York, there was a funny older comedian in New York. And one of his bits was, yeah, my mother walked in on me the other night. I was snorting coke off a nine-inch black guy's dick, and I said, it's not what you think. Attempted to offer an explanation for the cameras, which officers found to be unreasonable. I wish they told us.

It's just so ridiculous. What could he have said? Yeah, I was putting him in the frames. People were stealing the paper towels. I bet you it's something like that. You know, we've lost so much soap. You know those dispensers? My employees are taking them home. Oh, God. Enjoy your boning in cell block C. Investigators are now encouraging anyone who attended or visited the academy to contact the special victims unit at 954-743-1637, saying they need help identifying some of the victims. So give that number a cow. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone.

Put moron number two on the phone. Franco's facing multiple charges of video voyeurism and tampering with or fabricating physical evidence, not to mention anal rape for the next 12 to 15 years. Put that on film. That'll go viral, you dirty old pig, you. Hmm. Put that on film. That'll go viral, you dirty old pig, you. He just took it over in March. He's like, first day of class.

He's like, look at these hot ones in the back there. I got to go to Radio Shack tonight. Wow. I don't know how a girl would spot that. It's not like the giant camera. Who studies pictures? Why are there pictures in the fucking ladies' room? What do they get, a Picasso in there as you're taking a dump?

Wow, look at her. Anyways. This story scared the hell out of me. I've got to be honest. I don't get scared easily. But this was fucking another belly laugh. The fish are overbiting, is the headline. A North Carolina angler's, why do they call fishing anglers?

Because of the angle? I don't know. Are they geometry majors? What in God's? A North Carolina angler's catch is going viral after a Facebook post revealed he reeled in a fish with a mouth full of human-like teeth. Check this out. This doesn't send a shiver up your ass. What?

Hello. I'm Mr. Red. A fish is a fish, of course you wish. What's with the fucking teeth coming out of the bottom of it? If I caught that, I would have thrown it back, screamed like a girl, and motored back in. I would have fucking... That means a horse had sex with some type of bass. Those are human.

A horse, those are human teeth. Some hillbilly fucked a trout somewhere. Does that not fucking... They asked the guy, how'd you catch him? He goes, I didn't use a line. I pulled the thing up by its dental flaws. Look at that. Jeanette's Pier, a popular fishing destination in Nags Head,

posted photos to Facebook showing, that's what they should call their fish in Nags Head. Looks like my wife yelling at me in the kitchen. They posted pictures to Facebook showing angler Nathan Martin posing with a nine-pound sheep's head fish. Those aren't sheep teeth. Anyways, how... Wouldn't you die if you pulled that up?

I'd shit my pants. I have a big mouth! The post hashtagged big teeth big times. Wow, that stinks. What shared hundreds of times on the social media site

with commenters pointing out the human-like qualities of the fish's teeth. Oh, God. It's a very good fight, the guy who caught it said. When you're fighting it on the line, it's a good fight. It's really a good catch and tastes very good. Yeah, no. No. I bet you it makes out very good, too.

You try that. You're in a seafood restaurant. You have to call the waiter over. Is there something wrong? Yeah, there's two molars in my brazino. Sheep's head fish are known for their teeth. Yeah, but human teeth? It's like...

Which allow them to eat omnivorous diets. They typically are found in coastal areas, including North Carolina, and a lot of dentist offices in Greenville. Good night, everybody. Let's move on, shall we? Let's stay in the sort of sports. You go from fishing to running.

Water waster. What the hell could that be? French runner Mohad Amodini. Of course, I'm sure he was not from France originally. Of course, I'm sure he was not from France originally. Anyways, French runner Mohamed Amadini caused a stir during the Olympic men's marathon Sunday when he knocked over a row of water bottles at a hydration station before grabbing the last bottle for himself. Now, I've done this at parties in high school. People don't like it.

I'll probably let the audience be the judge as to whether that's been done deliberately or not. Former track and field Olympian Dave Colbert said on 7 News, really, you don't want to take a stand on that? I'll let you decide. We're going to show you the clip in a second. Relax. The 33-year-old Abnoudini was sandwiched in between two other runners when he knocked over multiple water balls during the latter stages of the 26-mile race in Sapporo, Japan,

where temperatures climbed to 84 degrees Fahrenheit that day. So let's go. How can, watch this and tell me it wasn't intentional. Then you can leave my show if you really think that. Go ahead. Pause, pause. Keep an eye. The guy with the white hat that's closest to the water bottles,

it's the guy to his right that's going to do it. Go ahead. So this is a water station. There's plenty of water. Look at this. Is that? Can we show that again? Is it hard to?

Can you imagine? And one of the broadcasters doesn't want to put an opinion. Why did we lose so much balls on the play? Is it because it's a Middle Eastern guy doing it, and they'll be picking on a person? I mean, what the? Grow a pair, will you? What are you?

Yeah, watch. If this isn't intentional, I'm a sheephead fish. And it's the French athlete. And Dooney, yep. There's plenty of them. And he grabs the last one. You know, I sort of hate him for that, but you got to admit it. As they say in America, if you're not cheating, you're not trying.

Can you imagine? But the problem was you go another few feet and there's another whole table with Kenny Rogerson used to, he was a very funny comedian, originally Chicago, moved to Boston. One of the greatest comics ever. I know you haven't heard of him, but that's why he

liked to, he enjoyed his blow, let's put it that way. But that was one of his bits. He lived in boston uh when i was doing comedy he would uh boss a marathon he would get out there and the people handing out cups of water he would have vodka in his stool uh i think it's pretty hard to grab those drinks form a track and feel olympian uh tasman manau that's her there on the broadcast. But it's not helpful to the athletes behind.

Thanks for the retarded comment. Thank God we went to her. Well, whose fault is that? The guy's like, these people are probably thirsty. I hope they die of dehydration. I'm grabbing this last one. My God.

Nothing for you. Fortunately for the other athletes, there was another water station just ahead. I'm sure he did it again. Amdouni placed 17th in the event. Kenya's Eluj Kipchoge. Oh, really? A Kenyan won a marathon?

What are the odds? These guys have the lung capacity of a blue whale. Their fucking lungs are like 55% of their body weight. You ever see them? The guy's at the two-hour mark. He's running like he just started. He defended his title with a dominant performance, finishing the race in two hours and eight minutes and 38 seconds.

80 seconds, that's a minute and 20 ahead of the runner-up, Abdi Najai of the Netherlands, who said, I would have been right on his heels, but some asshole knocked over all the water bottles. I was dying out there. All right, folks. That's it for you Monday. Excuse me. That's it, everybody. Again, this weekend, I can't believe it's here.

I have to go up to Coho's, one of my favorite. The crowds are always great there. Friday night, Coho's Theater. Be there or be queer. And you can find all my dates at nickdip.com. I don't know what's going on because, obviously, restrictions are coming back and shit. So I don't know if we're going to go through the same nightmare we did as far as getting comedy club audiences

and people doing shows standing on roofs in Brooklyn. I don't know. It seems to feel that way. I hope not. So go see me before that happens again. TheComicsGym.com, where you can watch this show for free, be a monthly subscriber, make donations. You can do that at my site, nickdip.com.

And don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, go to cameo.com, click on it, and tell me something about the person. I'll make a little video on my phone, about 90 seconds long, roasting the guy or lady or the fat pig behind you in line at the supermarket. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome.

We'll see you back here on Tuesday morning. That's tomorrow. Have a good day. guitar solo Outro Music