The Nick DiPaolo Show - Tim Walz Pro Child Mutilation | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1927
Episode Date: July 27, 2026In today's episode Nick talks about UK Stuck in 1984, Marxist Minnesota Fucking With Kids, Scots Love Boston, Woman Problems, Gymnast Injures Neck, Illegals Kill Another American and A Woke Odyssey! D...on't sleep on @ultrapouches. Nick DiPaolo fans get 15% off with code NICKDIP at http://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy! https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We'll do it live.
Fucking thing.
I just played that to light you know the mood I'm in.
You're looking at somebody who got two.
I'd say two, and I'm being generous.
I told my wife two hours sleep.
I just said that not to scare it because I don't think I got it.
And I maybe got an hour.
I was exhausted yesterday because of the day, the night before I couldn't sleep.
So I crashed last night, yesterday afternoon.
And that's when I get all my qualities.
sleep, which is so wrong.
Now, you know, and fucking midnight rolls around.
I'm ready to play fucking field hockey.
What?
But you know what I mean?
Fucking, oof, too tired to jerk.
It was just horrible.
You know what I'm saying?
And that's usually the best way to knock a man out.
I don't care what age.
Even at 18 after a blow job, you're going to a sugar coma.
Wake up in a chink of stealing your kidneys.
Nick, why do you have to say, chick?
Because it was a.
From China.
Speaking of that, that's getting a little messy.
Anyways, welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day.
If you want to watch AdFrey, join Rumble Premium.
Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app.
Today I'm going to be talking about the UK.
It's stuck in 1984.
Don't think that shit can't head this way.
It's already started.
Marxist Minnesota is fucking with kids, regardless of the laws.
It's unbelievable, man.
Nobody's paying attention to laws.
Nobody's going to jail.
a quick look back at the Scott's visit to the United States during the World Cup,
specifically Boston, and they found a beer that they love.
We're going to cover some women problems, and Dr. Nick will clear that up to you, ladies.
I'll show you a clip of a gymnast.
I don't know how he's still alive today.
That's all I'm going to say.
And I'll actually give you a trigger warning because I watch it like this.
It was almost that bad.
Anyways, the violence.
First of all, Trump, it's getting
now I just read
a quick headline. Didn't mean get into the article.
You know, they're a little nervous
because it looks like maybe China
and Russia holding, no,
Iran.
Iran and China.
No, Russia and China.
As far as the Iran war, it looks like Russia and China
a kind of, you know, meddling,
which could make it really fucking ugly.
So,
I don't know where that's going to go.
And all the idiots at home are going to go,
oh my God, look all the gas prices
and all that other fucking horseshit
and, you know, whatever.
One quick thing about all this
Democratic Socialists of America
take. Let me tell you something, folks.
And they're doing well on these
fucking so-called, I've said fuck a lot,
I'm very tight, these
so-called election.
Some of them mean a lot, some don't.
But they're doing way better. They get more
traction than they should in this country.
but don't you think for a second
and it's so gross
mandami
I mean just today in France
some guy with two knives
yells a la Akbar and stabs some woman to death
and France comes out and goes
we're not calling it terrorism yet
but the fact that that shit
has got that and that anti-Semitism
and you know they always used to say
anti-Semitism is up when Trump took over
or when Reagan or Bush
They always said the hate against the Jews, you know.
But this time, it really is up, but it's coming from the left, you know.
And it's outrageous.
And the violence this weekend, I just told Dallas, I didn't even, I didn't even bother mentioning a mass shooting in Seattle, you know, a nice sunny Sunday.
They're at a food festival or whatever.
And it looked like two brothers.
And they always say this, they're shooting at each other in the middle.
of a bunch of other people.
I don't believe that for a second.
I believe it, but I know they know
that they're going to kill some innocent people.
I really do.
Matter of fact, I might even go further and go,
you know, a lot of gang initiations,
you have to kill innocent people.
So it happens too often where,
oh, they get caught in the crossfire.
I don't know, that's just my theory.
Either way, right?
You had that one.
You had a 72-year-old woman.
She's writing a children's book
because she just became a grandma.
She's walking to the bank or something.
And some guy comes up and stabs her to death from behind.
In California, in some Spanish name town, you know, San Obispo,
it wasn't that one, but you know what I'm saying.
Just stabbed her from behind to death in this country.
And a couple other ones I'm forgetting.
Didn't you mention one before when we were talking about it?
You brought one up and I was like, oh yeah, even that one.
What?
It's in the show.
in the show.
But these mass shootings and shit,
they don't even, oh,
NYPD cop, his kid
in the Bronx is outside a bodega
and a bra breaks up between, you know who,
and he ends up getting shot in a chest and dying.
12 years old, innocent,
runs into the bodega holding his chest.
He was on his bike, had nothing to do with it.
This is America, folks.
So I said I didn't report those,
but I just did.
it's fucking insane out there
it's insane Berlin
another guy
at least the German said this is Islam
and it's the enemy
this guy took his truck into an LGBT
parade fucking he's not even original
it's been done
anyways
that's just a few little things
and I know yeah it's a big world
and all that chick goes on
and we hear about it all that
it's but when it's happened
every weekend
and barely gets a mention in the news
is what creeps me up
it's what keeps me up
It's what keeps me up in night, but it really isn't.
What the fuck else?
Socks, of course.
My socks rate, they're as good as anybody right now.
Outstanding.
When I left, did they still have the winning street going?
Oh, was it snapped?
It was snapped, yeah.
Well, they took two out of three from Toronto or three out of four.
I can't remember.
But now they're winning at home on a regular basis.
The nine games are over 500 on the road.
road and now they're winning like they're supposed to it, Fenner.
And I still, that's not the story.
It's the fucking no names that are doing it.
Chad Tracy, I don't care how this ends.
I bet she's going to be manager of the year.
If they keep it up, hey, who knows?
But we got a guy from the nationals.
And by the way, the Washington Nationals are a fucking offensive juggernaut this year.
They lead the league in home runs and a run scored and all the chairs.
And we got one of their home run hitters in a trade yesterday.
This kid, Curtis Mead.
He's got 17 gomers.
And he had all kinds of promise.
And then he fucked up his swaying a year to it.
But he's worked that out, I guess.
Anyways, we got rid of a pitcher that I love.
This kid, Connor early.
He looks like Matt Damon with long hair.
Baby-faced kid.
Coming out of camp, he got a starting job with the socks.
Nobody knew who this kid was.
Coming out of camp, he could get thrown into the rotation, a lefty,
little guy who throws hard.
And I'm like, I love this kid.
We had to give him up to get.
right-handed power.
Anyways, sorry to bore you with that.
That's about it.
I ate chicken wings and I try to cut the grass
and the fucking electric llama of battery dot.
Welcome to the bourgeoisie, as they say.
I'm fucking swearing,
throwing it around on the...
I'm just trying to do good on a Sunday.
It's 110 out there.
I'm fucking...
I cut the front lawn.
That took about 20 minutes and it thinks fucking dies.
And I go put it on the thing.
And it says it's three quarters charged.
So I give it another half hour.
come back out
fucking go about another five minutes
went into the shed shut the door so Andy couldn't hear
and I just started winging shit around
like a fucking child
ah
ah your sister's box
what the fuck
right on that dent I have of my shin
I told you guys about that
fucking thing
let's get going on my neck's broken two
don't get old folks as my dad used to say
and I used to look at him and go
shut the fuck up
like I have a choice
and then he'd hit me with a monkey wrench in the teeth.
Forgot those twice on the weekend.
This is how I know them all.
They go, I don't give a shit.
Went out with no teeth.
How you doing?
Pretty good.
I'm a fucking Georgia Hillbill.
I love it.
Fucking love the South.
Always will.
UK stuck in 1984.
A school chaplain in the United Kingdom,
that's England for you people who aren't big on geography,
who was fired and blacklisted
after preaching a
sermon on LGBTQ
issues. Now, you're probably going to mean he was
pro? No, no, he's against
it because he's a priest, has reached a
confidential settlement with his former employer
ending a seven-year legal
battle. This is in England now, folks.
The Reverend Bernard Randall
in ordained, hey, get some son, father.
An ordained church of
England minister worked for five
years as a chaplain
at Trent College. He was a running
back and
doesn't look at.
an independent school for K through 12 students in Derbyshire, England.
In 2018, Randall grew concerned when the school partnered with,
get this, educate and celebrate.
That word celebrate.
Celebrate how you were born.
I like snatch.
Where's my party?
Right from the get-go.
I had a crush on Kathleen Sullivan, first grade.
Blonde hair, blew out.
Even back then.
Blonde hair blew eyes.
Missing the front tooth.
Cute as a blue.
button. I stalked her like a psycho. I got a Tarzan lunchbox.
Two story. An outside group whose stated goal was to smash. This group wanted to teach this.
Smash heteronormitivity and embed queer theory in school culture. The group has since dissolved.
You know why? They made a sugar. I objected to it at the time it started and tried to discuss it with the senior leadership, but they weren't interested.
The following year, a student asked Randall why pupils were quiet to accept LGBTQ ideology at a Christian school.
People didn't even, you know what I mean?
That we got this shit shoved.
Again, this is Engel, but it goes on over here.
They came on so strong with this shit that nobody even questioned it.
You know, I mean, that was the environment.
Don't you dare question it.
Yeah, so some student asked, why do we have to accept us at a Christian school?
Randall said that question along with similar concerns raised by other students and staff
prompted him to deliver a sermon on freedom of belief and conscience.
Listen to how outrageous his speech was.
In his chapel address, Randall told these young students they were entitled to hold their
traditional Christian beliefs on marriage and biological sex while emphasizing that they must show
respect to do to those whom they disagree with.
Can you imagine he is way far right?
Crazy, it's like a Klansman.
Days later, school administrators summoned Randall to a meeting, interrogated him.
I think we have it on surveillance.
What are your true feelings towards Big Brother?
I hate him.
You must love him.
It's not enough to obey him.
You must love him.
Did you hear what he said?
He says, I hate him.
And the guy goes to mad about him.
You have to love him.
You have to love him.
That's what he said.
Anyways, they suspended him and launched an investigation.
He was also reported to local law enforcement and prevent, whatever the fuck that is.
It's a defense over here.
The UK government's counterterrorism program.
They reported him to a counterterrorism program for that little speech.
What is going on over there?
And why Prevent ultimately determined he did not pose a terrorist threat.
they had a meeting whether this guy pose it
meanwhile this isn't a country
if you walk down the street and you could get stabbed
by a Muslim for looking at them wrong
they have their own neighborhoods
try walking through one with a fucking
Bible in your hand
also all the rape gangs
that's quietly pushed into the rug no terrorism there
the government's involved in it
that's not terrorism so do you see what happened
they fucking and somebody wrote it not me
but they do is more eloquent about it.
Only civilization, the Western Civilian,
that opened its arms,
opens its doors to a fucking culture
that's actively hostile towards it.
And there you go.
In addition, the Diocese of Derby blacklisted Randall
as its safeguarding risk to children.
Well, that would be true over here with priests,
but I don't think this.
Trent College eventually fired Randall.
Can you imagine for gross misconduct?
He was reinstated on appeal,
but under strict conditions that restricted his sermon to topics
and required prior administrative approval for chapel content.
In other words, you know, they do that when people over here get fired
like on the right saying the wrong thing.
Well, we'll let you come back, but you can't mention the word Republican or God.
Furlough during the pandemic, Randall was ultimately made redundant.
That means his job was useless.
All laid off on December 31st of.
of 2020.
That vision is still a best-selling novel and his prophecy remains as terrifying as ever.
If you want a vision of the future, Winston, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.
A future where freedom becomes slavery.
Where privacy is forbidden, the past, forgotten.
Sound familiar?
People simply vanish.
Oh, there goes Nick DePa.
No, he's too low on the food, Gene.
We don't care about him.
Let him shoot his mouth down.
There you go.
A few people who haven't read the book,
please read the book,
and see the movie, and then do it again.
Later on.
I haven't started my action Bible yet.
The comic book Bible.
Fucking thing's beautiful.
I'll tie it out much.
We weighs about 11 pounds.
A lot of it's advertising.
No, it's not.
It's very nice.
Excuse me.
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We have all kinds of stuff, as you see there.
I mean, come on, how many committees have bedpans it?
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What?
Hats and hoodies and all that shit.
All right, let's get through it.
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It's a lot of fun.
Anyhow,
nose is running like I'm a Coke dealer.
I wanted to work on the, well, I polished off the chapter about Uncle Bob this weekend.
Brought it to a head.
Trying to decide what.
I should take a poll and ask you guys.
I have a couple of stand-up stories,
but part of me wants to save that for another book
because AI gave me an interest.
That's what people love
when you take them behind the scenes at the Oscar Awards,
writing for Chris Rock.
You know, places that they've seen in Herbert,
wonder what goes on behind the scenes,
have a lot of that shit opening for Patty LaBelle,
Paul Anchor,
and getting in trouble for saying shit once.
And I opened up a,
Donna, what's the name?
Laura Branigan, the song, Gloria,
a few people of my age.
I have a lot of, but I think
that should be for another book.
I could get into my first time on stage,
you know, how many beers I had,
how it went,
and why it ruined my life.
You know,
so I don't know what to do.
Maybe I'll just take one story, like me bombing
when I opened for Paul Anka
in front of 2,500 people,
probably told it on this.
show before in the round
where the stage actually rotates and
nobody told me that until I got there so I had
no idea any
I've said this because I've told everybody this
Dallas knows I put my drink
I thought it was on something that was on the stage
rotating with me but it was a stationary
thing so I've got to reach
I'm doing my bit and I get thirsty I do one of these and I see my
drink going by about a mile away
as I'm bombing you understand
can't make that shit up so I can maybe throw that one in there
and the other thing, me as a door-to-door salesman,
I have enough fucking material there to make a movie out of it.
I'm only going to do it if Elliot Page plays me.
Fucking freak.
I shouldn't say that, but...
Kid did all right for himself.
I just don't know what it is.
It's a dangerous situation.
Anyways, yeah, so I'm trying to decide.
Also, three most embarrassing moments in my life.
You guys will fucking die at those.
that one story about me in a tanning contest.
Andy says it's the funniest fucking thing
since she's met me that I've ever told her
because I was humiliated.
Who doesn't want their husband humiliated in public?
And a ski accident.
I hit a guy going about 80 because I didn't know how to ski.
And pulling the mic, the cord falling out
in front of 800 people and me trying to get it in.
That's the opening of a show at the Montreal Comedy Festival.
I wanted to kill somebody.
I said, somebody set me up.
There's no way that fucking happened.
That's my paranoia.
Let's move on to Marxist indoctrination on display in Minnesota.
What a surprise.
Let me guess there's lakes in Minnesota, too.
Minnesota is ready-to-hand transgender dolls
with removable, interchangeable genitals
to children as young as four years old
in their school classrooms.
What bothered me?
I went to Dallas's house.
He's homeschooling his kids.
And I saw some of these on the counter.
Dallas goes, those are my kids.
There's nothing to do with the kids.
Yeah, exactly.
You hear that?
You said that like Edward G. Robinson.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, where's your Moses now?
Look at my wife's gynecologist just called.
Left a message.
I'm not kidding you.
You want something to do with Instagram.
I know if you want me to plug them on it, show them how to use it.
I'm like, you're barking up the wrong tree or Bush.
The New York Post reports, first of their kind, that's in quotes,
multi-sex dolls will debut in some Minnesota classrooms this fall
with junior students specifically target junior students, little kids.
Even when they say junior, it sounds like a junior in high school.
Don't fuck with the language.
The paper dolls with gender-neutral names like Sam.
That used to be a male name when I was a kid, but, you know, Samantha, Sam, Rory, Avery, and Parker.
no pat
have removable
internal
and external genitals
that means the vagina is internal
I guess
the prick is
external
oh is it
is not according to my book at home
I written by Elliot Page
calls where my junk at
Negro
along with more than a hundred
interchangeable pieces of clothing
excess boy
hairstyles
boy not just
enough to be trans you gotta be a gay trans does that even make sense they say and this is the
this is they say it's like a trans mister or mrs potato head the outlet further uh records the goal is
for kids to learn about the different options that exist for who they can be yeah that would be a man or
a woman shut your fucking pie hole and any you parents uh if you're not school if you're not homeschool
and i don't blame if you aren't because most people are you're not school and you can i don't blame if you aren't because
Most people don't have the fucking time, but have a meeting with a teacher and have dad beat the fucking snot out of them.
Go to jail for your kid.
Show your kid that you love them.
Of course, I'm not endorsing violence.
I'm just joking around, but do something.
Key the faggot's car or fucking kill its pet.
According to a therapist at the University of Minnesota Medical School,
which spent over half a decade developing, why don't we blow that school up?
I'm just kidding, folks.
The controversial project made possible by leftist Minnesota governor.
Tim Jazz Hands, Tampon, Waltz.
You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you.
Get the fuck out of here.
The My Gender Dolls website offered few details about the project,
excuse me, but said join the wait list.
And that's what it says on the,
I went to it.
I thought I was going to jerk off to something, but nothing.
Join the wait list and launching 2026.
Look at that.
Looks like a WMBA locker room.
I keep watching Sophie Cunningham
because the world loves her.
The Internet loves her, at least people that think the way we do.
And they keep running, and it's got ACDC music under it,
and it's just highlights of her getting in black,
angry lesbian's faces like there's any other kind.
And just that finger-pointing thing was the funniest thing
To watch how the black woman reacted
She's just going like this
Black woman's losing her shit
Like teasing a dog with a fucking bone
Oh my God
And she's fucking cute as a button
That's a lot of women
Six foot or whatever but my God
Fucking wrap your legs around my neck three times
Like a fucking python choke me out
And then wake me up by peeing on me
That ought to get somebody to watch the show.
Did I tell you, I'm German?
They come with interchangeable accessories and removable and swappable genitalia
to help children realize all the different options that exist.
I already read that, regardless of body parts.
Who said that?
University of Minnesota post-archal faggot, I mean fellow Ben Partum, Ph.D.
Look at this.
Look at this guy.
Couldn't have been gayer if that was a fucking.
Petri dish full of load.
Look at this thing.
Look at this.
Oh.
Just a...
There's no way he doesn't talk like this.
Just no way.
Watched a couple thousand more jeopardies to him.
I'd say, I don't know, 75% had a gay person on it.
So, yeah, there's nothing going on there.
I also watched a documentary last night on the biggest loser,
because I never watched the show when it was on.
I didn't realize it ran forever in one,
lady died on the beach and came back.
They brought back to life and shit.
But they all have the same mentality, fat obese
people. Now they're all blaming the show
and it was wrong. They all have them. That's
what made you fat in the first place. You're a victim.
You see yourself as a victim. Even a lady
going, I had three kids and I was
more worried about raising them. Yeah, my
mother had five. And she
still weighed what she did in high school because she
took care of herself. Fucking victim,
weh, wah, wah, whack.
every weight loss commercial by the way
if it's about women always starts
with maybe you can't shed that extra
20 pounds from the kids
yeah buffina abula
take a big dump by the way I'm taking
beautiful movements
did you hear Dallas
he's German he's envious
I'm doing my you know what Dr. Gundy's
you'd be proud of me
shark blast Dallas
every morning
shark to the top
Now, at risk, I might have to cut back a little
because I went through a bottle in about a week.
You know, and they're about 40 bucks a box.
He said you only need a half a tablespoon or whatever to fuck.
But no, I want a short glass.
Everything just moves along.
I don't know.
Read up on that.
Watch Gundy's thing to the end.
I don't give a fuck, you know.
And it tastes, you know why you'd like it?
Because you can tell there's not, it tastes just like,
they did nothing to it.
It's like fucking pure olive oil.
It's kind of, I don't want to say rancid,
but it's arid, almost dry and bitter.
You know what I mean?
I get used to it,
but I'm just saying it tastes like it's good for you.
You know, like Poonani.
Let's move on to the left barely a drop.
Oh, look how I spelt it like bear.
I mean, beer.
I can't even say it.
Fucking.
During the 2020 World Cup,
this is uh we're looking back on the world cup i think it was a feel good story of the year as they
say that all those people came over here from europe expecting the worst from america because that's
all they were fed in their media and just falling in love whether it was ribs at a gas station
fucking um you know pizza in a box you can buy at a supermarket and they just fell in love
ranch dressing they fucking they're ordering that shit now like you know they're addictive
to it. I don't get that one. That one,
I just don't get that one.
My wife likes it and fucking
there was a very funny
you think he was a Jewish
writer for S&L, very funny stander,
very dry, very New York.
But he had a bit about
taking out this dream girl
that he was courting forever
and
he brings it to this
like really, really fine
one of the best restaurants in New York.
I think it was a French
Le Circ or one of the
and then, you know, they're ordering,
and he's like, yeah, all the steak, and blah,
and they get to the woman, she goes,
I'll have the whatever, and the salad.
Do you have ranch?
Just the way he said.
I'm not doing it justice, but in a French restaurant,
you got ranch?
Anyways, that's how I see ranch.
During the 2026 World Cup tournament,
the Scotchews Boston as their home base,
whether it was Fenway Park,
or the local pub.
The Scottish fans drank multiple establishments.
And this is true, dry.
You know how hard? Boston, you understand?
We're not talking about Utah, whatever, a religious city,
Salt Lake City or some shit.
We're talking about Boston.
No one's ever run out of booze in Boston.
It's one thing that hasn't changed.
The fucking blood is Irish.
The local pub, the Scottish fans drank multiple establishes.
one example was the black rose i can't believe that's still there i fucking uh the bar had never
gone dry in its 50 year history with Scottish travelers around the venue ran out of drinks
including water for the first time did they ever hear our song love that dirty water
for the first time they actually ran out of all the booze and water at the black row
Scotland played two out of its three world cup games at jillette stadium right in foxborough
mass that's why they were hanging out in boston
During that time, the fans known as the Tartan Army,
that's another word for plaid, they said.
I googled.
Fell in love with one particular American staple native to the area,
Samuel Adams Beer.
Look at that.
That's a real picture.
Is that in a bar?
Holy fuck.
Can you imagine trying to serve this?
In particular, the Scotch loved Sam Adams, Boston Lager,
which is delicious, by the way, I'll tell you.
So much that the brewery pub
ran out. What I like about it is they like
the Boston line. They didn't go for it with a hint
of faggotry in it and
fucking lemon drops and fucking leave it on.
Ooh, the autumn, I don't want the autumn
flavor. Pumpkin spice, suck a
dick. Give me a fucking beer
that tastes like a beer. I'm not ordering dessert,
you jerk off. Sorry for the
attitude. That was me
to a manager at the cask and flagging.
The company told ABC
news in June that its flagship tap
tap room went dry
after the tartan army
drank four times. The tap, that means
you know, like the brewery itself, the home quarters,
drank four times what is typically sold
all during Scotland's first. I love to hear when
stereotypes aren't stereotypes. And they're real.
Do they ever sleep? Do they ever get
tired what employee asked?
Black. This spawned an emergency order to prepare
for the next game and the rest is history.
now the new favorite is officially available in Scotland
for fans to pound on their home turf
and in the article after that sentence
to pound on their home turf
it said responsibly in parentheses
it did
oh my god
and that's again that's a world where people live under the threat of lawsuits
very fucking horseshit
UK based online craft beer retailer
Bear Hunter. I like that.
Beer Hunter. Oh, we should do a movie.
You know, a playoff on deer hunt, only beer hunting.
We somehow make it funny.
Beer Hunt is now officially carrying Sam Adams' Boston Lager on its website.
As an import, it's obviously going to cost a few quid.
I always think of fish when I hit it.
Currently listed on sale, listen to this.
$56 for a 12-pack.
What's it got Sam Adams jizzing it?
Holy moly, down from its usual price of $62.
Oh my God, $5 a beer.
We saw incredible interest after the Tartan Army made headlines in Boston,
so we thought would take advantage of the drunks.
Smith said he was delighted to bring the beer back to Scotland
while praising its tradition.
The beer had become scarce in Scotland.
Somewhere around between 2023 and 2024,
it was very hard to find over there.
It's very weird because one of my most surprising facts about beer is Ireland,
how much they like Budweiser over there.
They must just like the can or something.
You know I mean?
But they do.
It's like one of the top selling beers.
Very odd.
Never, even when I was a young kid, not a big Budweiser fan.
We had four kids that I played football with.
They were all about 6'2, 240.
They were called the Bud team.
And they would show up at every party with at least three cases of,
bud for them. Like we couldn't touch it,
nobody would dare touch it.
And they would fucking finish
them. Big guys, you know,
they would, yikes. Ricky Breen
was one of them. Fucking very funny
guy I grew up with a good
football player.
Anyhow, so
yeah, muds up to the
Scottish folks for sucking Boston
dry.
Oh.
The weight is
over.
Here is, oh, we should come up.
You know what?
We're going to have to come up of the segment thing.
You know, Dr. DePaulo gives medical advice to women.
Hey, clean your boxes.
What do we get up next?
The weight is over.
This is interesting.
On average, women may have to wait up to 11 years between their first symptoms
and a diagnosis of endometriosis.
Look at that.
I grew up on Route 128.
If you go up the brown part, you take a right.
That's the North Shore Mass.
And then.
Still can't figure it out.
I know.
Nobody can.
Nobody can.
Even the doctor that's taken credit for this,
has no fucking idea.
I'm looking at Dallas.
And because I'm a hetero male that loves college football,
I see University of Texas helmet.
The Texans.
It's a longhorn.
It's a fucking longhorn.
Anyways, endometriosis, according to Yale Medicine.
But that weight, I said 11 years, right,
be maybe drastically shortened thanks to a new test, the endotest.
Women come to my house.
I have a table in the basement.
Tell me, does this hurt?
Yeah.
They're nipples tingled.
When I stick this one.
Earlier this month, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, that's nice in the UK,
gave the go-ahead for the test, which checks a saliva sample for microRNAs that can indicate
whether endometriosis is likely present.
So that's good news for the chicks.
Personally, I don't give a shit.
I'm still trying to find something that gets semen out of a mouse pad.
affecting about one in ten women worldwide endometriosis happens when the uterine tissue grows outside of the uterus
causing cramping and chronic pain i tried picturing that i picture like a fur coat made a meat
endometriosis symptoms are often seen with other conditions like painful periods oh get up and clean the kitchen
Stop with you faking
She probably just came from Taco Bell
Fucking got the luxury box number nine
Whatever often seen
Other kids painful periods
Although plenty of women with the disease
Have no history of painful periods
Or pelvic pain
Symptoms can include fatigue
Get this fatigue
Joint pain
Shortness of breath irritable bowels
Urinary frequency
apparently I have endometriosis.
I get all that shit, folks.
My periods have been horrible lately.
There is no good blood test or imagining modality,
imagining, Jesus, imaging modality that can detect endometriosis.
If left untreated, the illness can result in several health complications
and not just for certain parts of the reproductive system either.
It'll spread to you dishwash.
the fucking vacuums.
True story, everybody.
In the most severe cases,
we see what's called the frozen pelvis.
I've been looking for them.
In my supermarket at Publix.
No avail.
We're always out of frozen pelvis.
Which is when chronic inflammation
in scar tissue causes the ovaries,
bladder, and bowel to fuse together
distorting your internal anatomy,
which is exactly what McDonald's
does to me if I eat it three days in a row.
freezes my pelvis to my balls.
These tests are a game changer
because they give us answers much earlier
without the need for invasive surgery.
Who said that? Dr. Gail Busby,
a whore who works out of a van
on the strip in Vegas, said that.
That's what I wrote at the end.
Make me a sandwich.
Make me a fucking sandwich.
Well, I'm fucking apparently.
You're very hungry.
Take it easy.
Sox had to go back on the West
coasts after the game yes they've already been there twice that's the new schedule when you
play everybody that's everybody hates that even athletes are making a zillion dollars do not want to fly
from boston to fucking the west coast fucking horrible during that winning streak they were stuck
on a plane for 11 hours 11 fucking hours and got home to boston at 5 in the morning and they swept
the gang they beat the gang they had to play that day they had to play that day they
They beat the Yankees and sweat.
And they call them the go and, what do they call them?
The show and go socks.
Because then after that series, the New York Mets, they were on a plane.
Sox on a plane.
Again, they got to the, got to those delays, weather, whatever.
They got to where the Mets play, whatever stadium that is, pick any insurance company.
And they got there, the game was seven.
They got there at quarter of seven and went out and beat the Mets and swept the Mets.
during that winning street
fucking odd, odd, odd, odd.
In our vaudeville segment
tonight.
And now for Nick's video of the day.
English gymnast
Gabrielle Langton has been cleared
of serious injury
after having a severe accident
at super clips.
All great clips.
After a sickening fall,
I got to burrup again. Hold on.
fucking coffee's not
you blow one guy
and it screws up your throat
serious injury after a sickening fall at the
Commonwealth Games on Friday
lengthen fell head first
from three meters
to the floor
that's about nine feet
after missing his catch on the horizontal
mental bar
metal bar during the opening day
of competition and was taken
to a hospital
I'll give you I'm going to give you a trigger warning
folks
Anytime I'm watching this and stuff like this,
whether it's, I don't know, gym, whatever,
I always get nervous that somebody's going to land on their head.
And I had a cousin, real quick, my cousin, Al,
I probably talked about him on the show,
late great Al DiPaolo,
was a tremendous athlete in high school,
president of his class,
went to church every Sunday,
let it, he was a varsity,
he fucking led it in three sports as a sophomore.
He was getting letters from, like, colleges
going into his fucking junior year.
That's how good he was in football.
Anyways, he went into a gym
that was left unlocked before school
with some buddies, and they were fooling around
on equipment. Jim, and my cousin
did a flip off of Swedish, whatever,
a horse or whatever, a something box, I forget.
But anyways, ended up breaking his neck.
Paralyzed from here down.
So I am very, I cringe a lot
when I'm watching sports, when I see
even a football too head-on,
you know, I mean, or somebody has to get that spine board.
It fucking, you know.
And when I watch this shit, I get extra nervous.
I always wait for something like this.
And I'm just saying it's graphic, but I'll tell you right now, he's fine.
We don't know how.
This couldn't have looked worse.
And if you didn't, if you showed me this and didn't tell me I didn't know the ending,
I would have bet a million dollars he died.
But anyways, check it out.
Whoa.
One more time.
I don't get it.
I mean, I do.
Obviously, his condition saved him.
It looked.
There was, there you go.
And like Dallas said,
the only way he survived that
is being an unbelievable condition
and flexibility and, you know what I mean?
If that's somebody normal,
people die slipping in the tub.
You know, not even half that violent or whatever.
That fucker fell from like 10 feet.
Jesus.
Maybe that's what I need to lose some mind there.
Team England said Lankton underwent multiple scans.
Right when I read that, I was like, what?
He's not dead.
On Saturday with very positive results.
19-year-old who has not qualified for any remaining events of the games will be discharged
from the hospital on Saturday evening, which was this past week.
He's in good spirits and hugely grateful for the many messages of the game.
support and the excellent care provided by the medical teams.
He is looking forward to being reunited with the team to celebrate his silver medal.
He'll have to accept it by blowing through a straw.
No.
Lankton was a late call.
Listen to this.
Again, God works a mysterious ways.
He was a late call-up to Team England in the place of the injured six-time Olympic medalist,
Max Whitlock.
Thanks, Max.
And that was Nick's video.
of the day.
How do you survive that?
I read a thing.
When you fall from 30 feet, this is
based on statistics.
30 feet, when somebody falls from 30
feet, whether it's a mountain,
a tree, a fucking tree house,
you have a 50-50 chance of living.
Crazy.
Anyways, let's move
on to more blood on
jerk off Joe Biden's
hands. How many people
Is he responsible for dying?
Him and Fauci ought to be burned alive together in a fucking motel six.
On May 17th, Deborah Murphy, an 82-year-old grandmother,
was walking back to her car on a crosswalk outside a Publix in Panama City Beach
when she was struck by a Toyota four-runner, according to the court records.
She was pushed to the ground by the S-U pushed to the ground.
Who writes this shit?
Yeah, that's what the car gently goes.
She was pushed to the ground by the SUV,
but the vehicle continued backing up.
In other words, running her over.
Running over Ms. Murphy,
according to an arrest affidavit
submitted by the Florida Highway Patrol.
Of course, they don't show you the whole thing here,
but you'll get the idea and the point.
You'll go ahead.
My, you.
Bye-bye.
Okay?
Yeah, but it was an accident.
Not the point.
And maybe it was, maybe it was.
It probably was an accent.
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't fucking matter.
I remember Geraldo Rivera arguing with Bill O'Reilly.
It's the closest I ever come to see O'Reilly throwing a punch at a guest.
Anytime you did his topic on Latinos or Puerto Ricans, he would get, he'd become irrational.
What's his name?
Not O'Reilly, fucking Geraldo.
We would become irrational and defensive.
A woman was killed by a drunk driver who was an illegal alien from Mexico.
wasn't supposed to be here.
And jerk off Haraldos saying,
Bill's saying, well, if he wasn't here,
that wouldn't have happened.
It's that simple.
And Aralda wouldn't agree with that.
Guy went to Columbia.
Simple as that.
A fucking guy doesn't belong here.
Just his name, I would arrest him.
Carlos Aswarez-Contreras, 26,
was the driver of the vehicle court record shows.
Luis Sanabria, 29, was the front-seat passenger.
Both were determined to be in the country illegally, according to arrest records.
Under Florida law, an illegal immigrant cannot obtain a state-issue driver's license.
However, 19 states, of course, and the District of Columbia do issue licenses to unauthorize.
I wonder if those are blue states, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures,
At the scene, Santa Maria gave sworn testimony to law enforcement
that Suarez Contreras was operating the vehicle at the time of the crash.
Suarez Contreras is being held without bond
because of his immigration status
and because it is believed that he is a potential flight risk.
You know why?
Because he's in Florida.
Florida.
That's why.
Most other states, oh, come on.
Here's your grandmother.
Just walking in a parking lot of a fucking supermarket.
And again, killed by somebody who's here illegally,
yet the Democrats will go,
there's no such thing as an illegal human being.
Or he was seeking asylum from some of bad conditions.
Yeah, I know.
I can tell by the Michael had Jordan sneakers.
I don't think you suck another dick and die, please.
As far as a Democrat socialist,
all this shit that's going.
It can only go so far before people,
seriously, and don't,
it's unbelievable.
It's so ironic.
If this country was won 1,000s as racist
and as,
you know, white supremac, as Biden said,
do you understand this DSA?
People would already been shot.
Mondami would have been shot.
Seriously, if the white supremacists
are doing their job.
And it still might come to that.
You can only, you know,
we're not going to sit around and watch us turn into England.
We're not.
The fuck, I'm 64.
What do I care?
Just give me a good helmet.
Dallas will go out in the range and dress somebody up.
Have them run.
No, we'll do it like you do when you were shooting pigs from a golf cart.
Now, that's the American way.
It's fucking tremendous.
Let's move on to our final story tonight.
He's just another Hollywood leftist blowjob hack.
Director Christopher Nolan
says that when he was adapting Homer's epic poem,
The Odyssey, as his latest film,
he altered the story's ending
to omit details that he found too misogynistic.
Did you hear what I just said?
I understand if he's doing a remake of some fucking shitty movie
from the 1940s or whatever.
I wouldn't understand, but, you know,
this is a little more epic than that
and more, a lot of life lessons to learn from it.
It's the original one's impossible to read.
Everybody's attempted it and almost committed suicide free pages in.
I understand that.
But this guy who everybody, oh, blowing was the, you know, the greatest fucking director and blah, blah, blah, blah.
He's another Hollywood guy.
And he knew the only way it was going to get made.
And trust me, it probably wasn't even this idea.
The only way it was going to get made.
And the reason they did it, they look at this.
This is low to a testosterone and male patriarchy and well.
patriarchy in Western whatever the fuck
all the shit we hate
let's let's put a nice
feminist spin on it
and I'm gonna say this one more time
you guys are sick of me saying it
everything you watch
everything if it's law and order
a fucking episode of
flip this house
whatever game shows
it's all being run
through the empowerment women shit
I am so fucking tired
It's why I'm down to the news and sports.
When I heard this was coming out,
I go, that would be a nice way to get a fucking history lesson.
But then I said to Andy, before I heard all this Dallas,
then I said to Andy, but I go,
why do I have a feeling?
Five minutes in, I'm going to want to fucking shoot somebody
because they're going to put some type of fucking feminine.
You can ask my wife, before I even read this shit.
And then she read before I did,
she read Matt Walsh,
who's a real conservative, right?
He torches people on the left.
He'll do it face to face.
He wrote about this.
Andy said, you wouldn't believe how on you were.
With the Elliott Page being cast, a transgender.
A black woman is Helen of Troy.
Oh, my God.
Just, they took it further than I even would have imagined.
And look, I'm sure this guy got paid trillions of dollars,
but he also made trillion.
already or enough to live on.
Can't you just once go, you know what?
No, I'm doing it my way.
You know what I mean?
I'll go do it independent.
Pull a fucking, you know what?
What was that guy?
Mel Gibson.
Right?
It's, like I said, it's one thing to do that
to a Jennifer Aniston movie.
What's the fucking...
The Odyssey will definitely be a financial
success thanks apart to its higher than
average ticket prices for
IMAX screenings, but it has
quickly become the most divisive film
of Nolan's career and not for the right reasons.
Most pre-release criticism focused on stunt casting
and Lupita Nyongo.
That's Helen of Troy.
On the left, that's the new Helen of Troy.
Let's, why don't they do that with like Batman movie?
Batman should be a midget.
And Robin should have elephant Titus of the balls.
Alfred's a fag.
You know what I mean?
Put a spin on that shit.
Let's go.
buck-ass wild
we've got a torch
classical literature
not that Batman
falls under that category
Leopita Nyongue is
Helena Troy
and transvestite actress
Elliot Page
playing a Greek
warrior
our father
one
is there's Elliot Page
that was a girl
still is in my opinion
but
son of a whore
yeah I know
that's her idea
do you see
are you guys getting it
how much they hate
our culture
Hollywood and
anyways
but negative reactions
to the full movie
have focused on Nolan's
thematic changes
particularly his decision
to frame the strategic deception
of the Trojan horse
he wanted to make the horse
shape like a tampon
that way he could product
placement
true story folks
anyways
deception of the Trojan horse
as an evil so great
that it shattered the entire world order
and haunts Odysseus
conscience to the point of
making him not want to go home.
And to omit the tale's gods, i.e., the characters in the story believe the gods exist,
but the film's perspective does not depict the gods as real characters who take actions that affect the story.
Oh, my God.
It's like, oh, let's do jaws, but there's not going to be a shark.
It's going to be a sunfish.
Quint's not going to have the orca.
We're going to have them on a jet ski.
little things.
Odysseus speaks with a young woman
who is supposed to be Athena
but she is merely
a hallucination of a young priestess
of Athena whose decapitation
he saw during the sack of Troy
I saw Troy sack in the shower
mother of God
Matt Damon has confirmed this
interpretation was how he approached his scenes
with Zendaya. Matt how do you feel
I mean you went to Harvard
You know, I understand.
Look, he's already, I want to like Matt Damon, too.
I do like Matt Damon, but I'm just saying,
Christopher Nolan.
My goodness gracious.
Anyways, that is it, boys and girls from Monday.
I think we covered a lot.
And again, I didn't report half the goddamn violence
that has become so commonplace that I don't want to bore you with it.
I swear to God, that's the mentality.
Don't forget Cameo.com.
If you'd like me to roast a friend of yours, go to camio.com.
Click on the profile and I'll tell you how to do it.
That's it.
You guys thinking I'll say it.
You are very welcome.
We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow.
Have a good day.
Hi.
Good night, everybody.
