The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trannies Steal Bike Race Victory | Nick Di Paolo Show #1493

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about a new Trump movie coming, more trannies stealing victories and more! Support our sponsor, Nugenix!  Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T plus a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text NICK to 231-231. Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Now we're talking. Hi, kids. Welcome to the show on a Wednesday. Great state of Georgia and yeah remember to catch me you catch me tonight

on Steve and Crowder Crowder Mug Club whatever they call it streaming the we'll be commenting live as they stream the debate live GOP four people left

and I think I could beat three of them, honest to God. But Megyn Kelly is making a little bit of a comeback. She's one of the moderators. She must have like a good following with her podcast. Some people go into that and, you know, never heard from again. But she's outspoken. I like her. She can get a little feministic. But then again, you know, I think she should be pregnant and making me a sandwich. No, I don't like sandwiches. Cocaine. What?

You heard me. Ah, the homosexuals. No, no, no. Nothing to do with that. Uh, I don't know what else to say. So, uh, oh, I didn't tell you, Dallas, last week when I left here, remember to go to the airport? And I'm like, ah, it's like

fucking, it's even closer than if I left for my house. It's like 16, 15 minutes, whatever. Yeah, cut to me about, I'm not kidding you, 40, 50 minutes, five old minutes later. For some reason, it took me to the, I put in Hilton Head Airport, whatever the fuck, Savannah slash Hilton Head. What I always put into Waze. It takes me to one of those jets, those Gulfstream. Yeah, for some reason, some of the GPSs will take you to the back end of the Gulfstream. It takes you forever to get back around. Yeah, especially if you're too stubborn like me to go, no, I must have missed something.

I got back out, got into traffic now. I'm going, I'm thinking of you. I go, if he knew this, he'd be laughing that I'm not there yet. I swear to God, I was so embarrassed. I go back in again. It takes me the same. I'm like, motherfucker. So what turns to a 15-minute ride turned into 50.

Because for some reason, this traffic, like, unbelievable and whatever the fuck. But why did it choose that day? I've been using Waze to get there forever, even from here. And I knew something was up when it didn't put me on 95 right away, you know? So I said, oh, this must be a shortcut. I almost got car sick. I had to pull over and ask people. They're like, you're from here? I go, yeah, I can't find the address. No, I said I'm from Argentina. Anyways, let's get to it. Trump flick coming. What? Sebastian Stan, that's S-T-A-N. Is he an English actor? Why did I think he was English?

I read the article. I just don't read well. Transformed into Donald Trump on the set of the upcoming film, The Apprentice. You know, anything to make Trump sound like anything but a pro. I swear to God, that's the level they work at.

Yeah, but he had a show like I know, and there's a million other things you could have named it, you fuckhead. But they're making a movie about him. Oh, I'm sure it'll be a fair representation of Donald Trump. People love the Nixon movie for Oliver Stone. I go, yeah, it was entertaining. It's full of shit, a lot of it. A lot of it was real, but I'm just saying. And Stone's a great filmmaker, I'm just saying. Don't go there expecting a fair representation. I laugh when people, oh, I can't wait to see the new, you know, pickups.

The Strom Thurmond movie coming out. What's Spielberg's company? DreamWorks? Can't wait to see DreamWorks do it. Anyhow, yeah, so they make the Marvel star. That's why I don't know who he is. I wouldn't go to a Marvel movie if they asked to shoot it in my fucking front lawn and give me $10 million. Maybe.

Yeah, all right. I went a little, all right, $1,500. The Marvel star was fitted in a black single-breasted wool coat paired with a blue suit and paisley striped tie underneath. Well, thanks, fucking fashion fashionista. That's why we have something called film and video and TV and pictures, you dinkweed. Guy wants to be a fucking fashion critic. In one of the scenes from the forthcoming movie, Stan, meaning the guy playing Trump, from the forthcoming movie, Stan, meaning the guy playing Trump,

munched on a sandwich while stepping on a young black girl's throat. So I'm not buying the depiction. No. While sitting on a park bench during a snowy day. They shot this in Toronto, by the way, this scene. I actually read the fucking article. But before we show the clip, I watched it at home and I go, he did something, even just something simple as eating a sandwich, I go, I got an essence of Trump there. What was it that he did so that I had Dallas watch it before the show and he picked up

on the same thing? It's a very subtle thing. You people who aren't into the theater like me, big movie style, you're not going to understand. So I won't bore you with the details. I mean, this is a complicated shit I mean I studied with Sandy Meisner for almost six minutes so I know what I'm talking about

so here's a this is the trailer is this the best they could show us no you're right it's just actually you're right maybe some guy this phone shooting them shooting the movie. That's what it looked like. But it's a nice depiction.

He looks like him, like a young truck. And just, he does one specific gesture. Let's see if you can pick up on it. Here he is. Can we see that again? Yeah. Let's take a look. Right here?

Bang! Right there. Yep. That was it. Yep. The arm. The bite and the hand going down that quickly. Yep.

And I'm guessing Trump does this too, and I hate people who do it except for Trump. When you have food in your mouth and you take a drink of your drink. I don't know why you fucking do it. I've had arguments with people, and I beat them every time with one line that shuts them right the fuck up. I go, why do you do that? Why do you mix a liquid with an $80 steak in your mouth

or whatever the fuck? And they go, well, it's all going to the same place anyway. Oh, is that right? So then I take my soda, I dump it on their food on their plate. There you go. Don't ever fucking argue with me. I'm a comedian. As Bill Hicks said, we have 23 hours a day to make these webs a conspiracy.

That grosses me out. So girls out there, if I'm on a date with you, oh, that's right, I'm married. Honey. She'd never do that. She did it once. They took good care of her at the shelter. No.

Don't you guys find that gross? How many people do that? And the other one is people pick their nose. I never understood this one. Even when kids did it when I was little, they'd pick their nose and eat it. I don't, nobody can explain to me where that came from and why you do it. And grownups do it. I've seen a guy in traffic do it.

I almost fainted. I was on the West Side Highway in traffic in New York, and I saw a grown man like my age do it. I almost fucking fainted. Somebody explain that to me. Do you have cotton candy in your sinuses? What the fuck? What are you doing? You pick your ass and eat that too? I don't get it. Nobody can explain it to me. Probably lick your own jizz. Oh, that's kind of good. I call it a McFlurry. Oh, that's kind of good. I call it a McFlurry. Stop it. I just don't get that. And if you guys, write in. Email and explain the boogie eating thing to me and the swishing of the, well, the food goes down easier, doesn't it? Can't swallow a bite of a hamburger?

Maybe just chew your food. That's my point. I never understood those two things. Anyways, how about the guy that picks his nose and then chews it and takes a swig of, well, the boogers are in his mouth. Gee, I just wrote a funny bit there for the fucking Skid Marks and Buffalo gig I'll be doing when I'm 71. Per the outlet, this film, again, back to the film about trump called the apprentice coming out whenever uh the film is described as an exploration of power and just by the description you can take

the you can tell the lefty exploration of power and ambition set in a world of corruption and deceit well naturally that's going to a description of somebody who was a successful entrepreneur or capitalist, because that's what they hate. It's a mentor-protege story, so I'm guessing it's going to be very, very much like Wall Street, only Trump's dad's going to be the asshole or whatever, right? Maybe? I don't know. whatever, right? Maybe. I don't know. It's a mentor-protege story that charts the origins of an American dynasty, deadline added. Fifth, I'm glad they used that line. I thought they're talking about the Patriots. Filled with larger-than-life characters, what, the big float they used of them in England? It reveals the moral and human cost of a culture defined by winners and losers. I'll repeat that because that's pure outright Marxism.

It reveals the moral and human cost, that's a negative if you guys understand, of a culture which is ours defined by winners and losers, which is competition. Which is the essence of how this country got great and pulled zillions of people out of poverty and lifted them from their bootstraps all over the planet, raised the standard of living all over the globe. But, you know, because somebody used the N-word a couple hundred years ago, it's the worst country ever. Yeah, they did more than that. That's not the point. In the second half of the show, ladies and gentlemen,

another episode of The Bitchin' Kitchen. People loved it, apparently. Great feedback. On this episode, I'm doing two dishes. I'm doing butternut squash agrodolce. That's sweet and sour. Dallas, this is so...

Oh, I made it for you. Yeah. Again, Mario Batali recipe. I don't want to get sued here. I put enough of a twist on it that I put a hair in it, so change it up. And another one of his dishes, which I love, calamari alla lucciana. Or as the Italians, we don't say calamari. We say calamari alla lucciana.

You're absolutely going to love. They're pretty easy because I proved that I did two of them within like 25 minutes that's exclusively on Mug Club so join now to get it at nickdip.com hey guys and gals before I forget we're having a big Christmas sale from

now until December 10th at the Nick DiPaolo merch shop all merchandise is 15% off if you use code STNICK, S-T-N-I-C-K. That's S-T-N-I-C-K. We have hoodies, hats, shirts, mugs, signed DVDs, signed plastic hips and knees. So head over to nickdip.com and click on store now so we can get your order to you before Christmas.

And don't forget to use the code St. Nick. Talk to you soon. Winners and losers, that's a bad thing, you know? That's it. That's the essence of those people that hate Republicans and righties.

They're afraid of competition. They're chicken shit. Never played a sport as a kid. Because they want a guaranteed outcome. They want a guaranteed outcome. You'll only get that if you play the Patriots this year. Or the Panthers.

Or the Panthers. That's right. Sorry. The film will examine Donald's efforts to build his real estate business. I guarantee they go, it was handed to him.

I guarantee. In New York City in the 70s and 80s. And again, if Oliver Stone did this, I'd watch it because Oliver knows Trump and was in New York. You know what I mean? It would be a fair shake. I loved Wall Street, by the way. You know?

I mean, anyway. Of course, the title of the biopic notably references the businessman's stint on reality television beginning in the early 2000s. Production of the new flick comes as Donald, oh, we have to throw this in to remind you people who don't like him why you don't like him. The flick, the announcement comes as he's embroiled in a slew of legal, I would call them illegal legal battles, concerning his time in the White House. The twice-impeached former president also currently standing trial

on a civil fraud case, which it is, it's a fraud this case, in New York City for doing literally what every business owner has done and never been charged for. Donald has not publicly commented on the forthcoming film and its release date has not yet been announced. Oh, I don't know. I'm guessing, again, if he's not in jail

and he's the nominee for the, you know, come around election time and it'll be a nice negative story about him and the timing perfect, you know. I don't know what to tell you kids anymore. Hey, guys, election time, and it'll be a nice negative story about them. Isn't the timing perfect? You know? I don't know what to tell you kids anymore. Hey, guys, spread a little extra holiday cheer this season by boosting your testosterone.

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survey conducted by IQVIA in 2022. We thank them for sponsoring the show today. Let's move on. Mangina. I almost, I was looking at that word thinking it was part of the cooking plug. I thought, I'm like,

what is this, mangina? Mangina, as in man and gina, wins again. God, these guys, how embarrassing.

I think I'm more embarrassed that you guys admit that you can't beat men, so you jump into, that's worse than you actually, you know, dressing up like pretending you're a woman, doing a bad impression of a boy, that's more embarrassing to me, that you have to win that, it's, I don't know, two transgender cyclists have once again snagged first and second place at a major women's competition, and it wasn't a bake-off, motherfucker, with some calling their victories outrageous and an assault on the rights of biological female rights.

Nobody's representing, I can't believe I'm saying this because I'm not a feminist by any means. Nobody's defending just the biological female who's done so much for us. And nobody, no feminist groups. It's sickening. Tessa Johnson, can't wait to see, I'd like to see her high school picture,

25 years old, took first place in the women's single speed category at the Illinois State Cyclocross Championships on Sunday. I can hear people now going, well, who cares? I'll tell you who cares. Women who are competing against these dickheads, literally. Well, Evelyn Williamson, with her 41-inch neck, 30 years old, placed second. Oh, good for you guys.

Hey, everybody. We're all going to get laid. Those are the actual women's voices. The two who previously sparked outrage, the same two, when they took the same positions in the Chicago Cyclocross Cup in October. They can't get enough of beating women.

Not like Mexican guys do. These guys do it. Were pictured on the podium with Kristen Chalmers, the sole biological female to medal, which means she really was the winner, and she should be in the middle. Look at that guy in the middle.

Look at that fruit cup. Which one's supposed to be the other girl? The one on the right. Yeah. Johnson also came in third in the woman's half race. That means you're half woman, half man. Winning $100 in prize money record. Good, you can spend that on, I don't know.

She previously competed in men's categories at Clemson University, but it was only after switching to compete as a transgender female that Johnson started picking up wins. I can't think of a better way to show you have no integrity or lack of character. Honest to God. Williamson, meanwhile, has been racing in the women's category since at least 2017, earning 18 titles. Look it. There's nothing wrong with this guy.

It's a girl. Look it. Got's nothing wrong with this guy, says girl. Look it. Got the nice green hair and shit. Looks like someone we know. Oh, no, it's him. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Look how he's standing. I'll tell you what's the most embarrassing.

I have that outfit. But in 2020, she appeared to compete in both the men's and women's categories at the Sky Express Winter Criterium. And you people who put on these events and let them in, you're just as guilty. You're sickening. Where she won first place as a woman, yet did not place against the men. Boy, if we only had proof that this was all bullshit, right? That's right. That's right.

That's right, sister. The aforementioned podcaster, Megan Kelly, also called their victories infuriating. While former NCAA swimmer, and this woman's been out on the front lines of this because she was a victim of it in the NCAA swimming. Riley Gaines even offered to compensate any female cyclist, meaning biological, who boycott future USA cycling competitions until it changes the rules on transgender athletes. I like this woman. She literally put her money where her mouth is. Any woman who concedes and doesn't compete, I will personally, this is her talking, Gaines, pay them the prize money that they're missing out on, she vowed.

Stop participating in the farce, she closed the statement with. Amen, sister. Again, again, I'll admit it, there's a tiny part of me that loved that the feminist movement went haywire. Came around. It's biting the wrong people in the ass, I admit, but it's still a nice ass, and I want in. Good night, everybody.

Good luck and good night and good knock and good night. All right. Anyhow, that's it, right? For those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of this show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com. Join to get my full show, not just my full show, the great Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more.

And while you are there, right, at nickdip.com, click on the tour button, get tickets to see me live in Red Bank, New Jersey. I need you guys to come out. Yes, I'm begging you here. I don't ask much of you. Red Bank, New Jersey. I need you guys to come out. Yes, I'm begging you here. I don't ask much of you. Red Bank, New Jersey. It's a bigger venue than I usually play.

May 11th at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. Please come out. It's a big place. I'd like a great showing. And if you do, I'll stay and do stand-ups and more for the rest of my life. But if not, I'm taking an Uber from the theater all the way to Georgia to run out my life

savings. And then I'm going to do a double suicide with the wife. She doesn't know yet. Don't tell her. guitar solo Outro Music