The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trans Military Spokesperson Booted | Nick Di Paolo Show #1458

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about a Ukraine trans spokesperson, border chaos and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Fine! I did the best I could! What about me? What am I supposed to do? That should have been longer. Why did I cut that off? What about my needs? How are you folks? Welcome to the show. Final day of the week for me in Dallas. You guys

get back to the machine shop tomorrow. I know what you're doing. You're turning down stock. That's a machine. If they had a show, I had to let them know. I said plus or minus a thousand, ten thousand. He was like, pretty good. I'm like, hey. My fucking uncle

owned a very successful machine shop. I want to say tool and dot, whatever, but scads of money. My dad kept the books for him the whole time. Have a little theory.

My late great buddy had a theory about my dad getting Alzheimer's because the machine chop, his office, my dad's office was right next to the machine chop and it smelled like the machine chop. You know what I mean? Who knows what kind of fucking fumes.

Plus my mother's farts. So mom doesn't watch. She has trouble finding Channel 5. Anyhow, any he, Red Sox last, and boy, the wheels have come off that wagon. Holy fucking moly. They go up 4-0 in the first, top of the first against Texas,

and the announcers are all excited. Two innings later, it was 6-4, and excited. Two innings later, it was 6-4. And then like four innings later, it was 11-4. I was fast-forwarding through the Texas at-bats because I want to watch ID Network and rapes and murders from 48 years ago that mean nothing.

So I'm fucking fast-forwarding through the Texas, but I can still see the score, and it was going up like a cat when you're filling your tank. Ding, ding. I couldn't believe it. I could see guys rounding the bases like in fast motion, like Babe Ruth used to run.

Oh, my God. The Sox have about nine guys up. All these AAA guys, and I see what he's doing. It's really like spring training again. He's looking at young guys, and they had a show. Anyways, you guys don't like that. A lot of you people are gay into theater. I just offended Dallas because he's got a poster of Les Mis in his bedroom.

Anyways, what the fuck else? I thought I had something else. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. College football this weekend looks pretty good. Yes. Let's upset the people with our... Who's tonight, Dallas?

There's usually a Thursday game. Once in a while. No, they'll surprise you once in a while. Oh, my God. that's worse than garbage. Jesus. Oof. Yep. Ooh.

I like Ole Miss. And I like Deion's team to get crushed by Oregon. I wouldn't, anyways. All right, now we're boring the gay people. Ohio State and Notre Dame, that's the best one. All right, let's start the goddamn, well, we have started this show. Don't act like that wasn't part of my entertainment. Here's the word.

Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. In our shut up and make me a sandwich tonight, Sarah Ashton Cirillo. Do you know who that freak of nature is? A transgender, and again, no disrespect to transgender, but this one's really, transgender American. Look at that. look at that look at that jennifer annison call from friends and wants her hair back look at this chris elliott look-alike they're like asking her what's the biggest ass you ever fucked sarah ashton cirillo a transgender american born uh military spokesperson for ukraine has been suspended over unapproved public statements. The Ukraine Territorial Defense Forces.

That will be the TDF announced Wednesday. That's a pretty girl boy thing. Throwing your son looks like a fact to me. Take it easy. Take it easy. Ashton Cirillo's suspension was immediate. And TDF said it will be launching an investigation. We got video here, too.

Oh, we got video. Nick is not sharp today. The Post added. Yeah, let's take a... Did it say video? Oh, my God. I got to go. Go ahead. Russia hates the truth that their obsessive focus on a Ukrainian volunteer is simply allowing the light of the Ukrainian nation's honesty to shine brightly. Next week, the teeth of the Russian devils will gnash ever harder,

and their rabid mouths will foam in uncontrollable frenzy as the world will see a favorite Kremlin propagandist pay for their crimes. And this puppet of Putin is only the first. Russia's war criminal propagandist will all be hunted down. And justice will be served as we in Ukraine are led on this mission by faith in God, liberty and complete liberation. What are we doing are we advertising to china and russia and all our adversaries look how fucked up we are you ever see a ever see a recruitment commercial for russia's military it shows ripped guys crew cuts doing 100 push-ups in a second. You know what I mean?

Fucking sharpening their bayonets. We got Joey Hetherington way before your time. Sex symbol in the 60s. People my age would be laughing their ass off. Anyways, what in God's name is that? Thank God J.D. Vance, who we like. What did he write? Do you remember, Dallas?

Something about the redneck? Hillbilly elegy. There you go. Dallas on top of that shit. He provided the photos, Dallas. J.D. Vance is like, all right, what the fuck? He's the one who investigated this. Who is it?

Is that working for the American tax? Why is it a spokesman for you? All questions that every Republican should have been asking. Who is it? Is that working for the American tax? But why is it a spokesman for you? All questions that every Republican should have been asking. The statements of a junior sergeant. Oh, that's sexist. Here she is doing magic. Watch me make a click disappear.

Junior Sergeant Ashton Cirillo in recent days were not approved by the command of the TDF. This is the TDF talking or the command of the TDF, this is the TDF talking, or the command of the AFU, that's America, fuck you, forces of Ukraine, when conducting military operations against the aggressor, the defense forces of Ukraine strictly observed the norms of international humanitarian law, no fags allowed. No, the Post reads, Sergeant Sarah Ashton Cerrillo will be suspended immediately because of her shirt. Pending the investigation, we had a comment today from Ashton. I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Republican Ohio Senator J.D. Vance, only one paying attention, said nice rack, but you got to go. Called out Ashton Cirillo over a recent speech according to a September 15th letter from Vance to Secretary of State Anthony Blinken, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, dumb black dude, and Director of National intelligence, Avril Haines, dumb white, whatever. Vance further inquired whether Ashton Cirillo was an American intelligence asset. Imagine we don't even know. And whether Ukraine was planning to commit violence against those who engaged in speech they deemed was Russian propaganda. He's asking all the right questions. Ashton Cirillo appeared in a public video dated September 13th of 23, saying next week a favorite Kremlin propagandist will pay for their crimes,

and that all such pro-Russian propagandists will meet the same fate of being hunted down. Fucking quiz! Again? Guy's really angry. You know who he sounds like when he talks? Oh, she? And I gave this to Gutfeld. This was Gutfeld's, by the way, the subject of his monologue tonight,

so watch that. I picked a few of the lines that I gave him. He sounds like Bill Hader, you know, from SNL, doing that character Stefan. Doesn't he? The club opens. There'll be midgets with hats.

Human fire hydrants being peed on by midget wrestlers. He goes, the name of the club is Wish. Have you ever seen that? Oh, my God. Hater was pretty fucking damn funny. Anyways, let's, again, let that sink in, folks. Just let that sink in for a second. Who the fuck, what is going,

we're living in the weirdest, the fact that we have to even ask these questions of J.D. Vance is creepy. And if I'm the Kremlin or Jinping, I'm going, what the fuck, time to move in. And then couple that with, you know, Biden walking into a flag yesterday, doing a front handspring off the stage. And dissing the Brazilian president. And dissing the Brazilian president. They say he dissed him. I don't think he saw him.

He's so retarded, right? Anyways, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about my favorite mayor who I once met, Rudy Giuliani. It looks like some woman is trying to hashtag me to him. And I wouldn't doubt it. Rudy likes, I heard he likes his wine now. He might've got a little handsy.

He's got that kind of power, or he did. And also, I'm going to tell you why Merrick Garland once again proves he's the biggest fucking liar in the history of attorney generals at the federal level. Just a scumbag and liar under oath going, I don't recall, I don't recall. Just a piece of shit. Just a piece of absolute shit. Imagine all that shit going on at the border and he's fine with it. So anyways, that's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it. Where do you join? At nickdip.com. Okay? Do that, folks.

Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon.

Mug Club is killing it, man. Do you know he crashed, Crowder Show crashed the fucking servers at Rumble a couple times? I think they finally, he's like a whirlwind, man. And I compliment the fans that found him, and it's mostly, again, young people.

They know the fucking internet. They don't watch TV and shit, and you know what I mean? That'd be like me if I was in my 20s, and I liked conservative shit, and I stumbled on him. I'm signing up, not to mention you get Alex Jones, who's... All right, let's move on. Illegals ruin another Texas town thanks to Biden the clown. Holy shit. I wrote that. I didn't even realize it rhymed when I wrote it. What an asshole.

If I saw that, I would have crossed it out. An unprecedented surge of 4,000 migrants, none of them strippers, streamed across the U.S. border with Mexico into Eagle Pass, Texas on Wednesday, forcing the overwhelming city to declare, excuse me, overwhelmed city to declare a state of emergency. Oh, here they come. They all had boomboxes from the 80s. La, la, la, stab your sister in the ass. La, la, la. Border Patrol sources said

they joined approximately 7,500 other migrants who handed themselves in along the Texas border. Our government tells them to turn themselves over, and we give them a slip of paper or something that says, you're going to have to show up at a court

in a year or two. In other words, just write, welcome to America. It's, you know, they do it so it's legal. Here's a family going through somebody's pool in the backyard in Denver, sneaking in. Anyways, yeah, the surge is the largest since 15,000 Haitians planted their asses on my dad's lawn back in the 70s what shut up

that's all I had Haitian immigrants camped remember this they camped out under the bridge in neighboring Del Rio Texas remember that mess there was 15,000 I think they had three portal parties that's a lot of Haitian poop a lot of AIDS what There was 15,000, but I think they had three porta-potties. That's a lot of Haitian poop.

A lot of AIDS. What? Texas, nearly two years ago, but officials said, officials said, we don't need that. An incident resulted in a, that, what the fuck? A major humanitarian crisis? No, it didn't.

City Mayor Rolando Salinas said the new mob, many of them from Venezuela, has overrun Mission Border Hope, the only migrant shelter in the border city. Look at this poor bastard. Can you imagine? It really isn't funny if you live there. Honest to fucking God. It's an invasion. It's not fucking, it's an invasion.

Tony, what is it? Evasion. They just said evasion. Let's listen to this guy. I don't know. Oh yeah, here's some footage. Stunning exclusive new Fox video of a trans man in a car filled with cheering people from all over the globe coming our way. Look at that. Look at that. Literally. A conveyor belt. And by the way, folks, and I hear this on every report,

about 85% of our young males, oh, I'm sure they're here for the, you know, to get a nice job at Bill's Chevrolet in Long Island. Fuck it. Now, this is how stupid these people are. Look, there's a bridge right there they can go over. But no, they have to rinse their filthy asses in my U.S. water. Here's something you won't hear in Hannity.

Look at the barbed wire. What's that for? Look at this standing waist. And here's my problem. You look at them, some of those people dress just like I am. They can't be that poor. But they're seeking asylum. Shut your sister's ass. One of the situations is that a lot of these migrants, they're single males. Yeah, I just said that. And they don't want to listen to instructions. First of all, that's sexist. You never say that about broads. They're females. You know, they don't want to fucking, unless you give them a black eye, then they listen. That's what the Mexicans and Venezuelans told me coming over. They don't want to listen to instructions, which is true. I mean, do we, even now, I'm 61, and

I was going to say, when I pull over for directions, that's stupid. I get ways. Go ahead, Dallas. And they're leaving the facility, the mayor said. Not all of these people, the mayor said, come in peace. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. Put perfectly.

He covered his ass at the end, but he was right on with that. He also said, by the way, the mayor of Eagle Pass, the huge influx over the last week, close to 50% of the city's 29,000 population has taken a toll on our local resources, especially our local police force and our fire department. You're watching, I can't help but go back to the early 80s when I first started listening to Rush and started to get a little political.

And me and my late great buddy Zook, he kept saying, they won't be happy until this place looks like the third world shithole which these people came from, the Democrats. And you know, the 80s ain't that far away. That's how it takes. 20, 30 years is a blink of an eye when you you know relatively speaking and you're watching it you're watching our country be dismantled you trump says and this is the best thing he said so far uh when he gets an office on day one he's going to get first of all you know, wipe all of Biden's immigration shit right off the books and start deporting immediately,

which will be interesting to watch. But you know what? That's what it's going to take. Otherwise, you're overwhelming schools, hospitals. That's how you collapse. Saul Alinsky, Radical Alinsky, has like a rules of radicalism, whatever the fuck it is, like 20 rules.

Like number seven is like overwhelm the, you know, the welfare programs and shit. That's how you crush. You're watching it. I'll give the fucking Dems one thing. They're very efficient at destroying the country. the crisis forced U.S. Customs and Border Protection temporarily to shut down two border bridges, to redeploy its offices to Eagle Pass, to redirect personnel to assist the U.S. Border Patrol

with taking migrants into freaking custody. I heard that at a Walmart while I was checking out. It's getting ugly out there. I don't know who that lady is. This morning. I can't hear you. This morning they have 800 troops coming to support, which pretty much all it is is a bunch of admin.

It's just checking a box. Admin? Administrative people? Yeah. No, you of admin. It's just checking a box. Admin? Administrative people? Yeah. No, you're right. They pretend. You're right. That's more guys that will sit at a desk and go,

you can come in. Here's your whatever. It really is. This is the worst out of all the shit that's going on right now. Already you read the news, and I can't pronounce half the people that are involved in crimes. About 98% Hispanic. Okay, I went a little bit over there.

But I'm just saying, people are so naive. This hasn't hit the fan yet. This shit hasn't hit the fan yet. And unless somebody gets in there, like Trump and does what Trump's promising, fucking, you're not going to recognize this place, man. That's why I'm looking at some property in Syria. Nice duplex. It's always a duplex.

I don't know why. Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club right now, right, stick around for the second half of the show. And to everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, The Hodge Twins, Brian Callen. I think he's working on Jim Brewer, Alex Jones on Fridays,

and he's got another huge name that I hope, and it's a female, that he's working on. Plus they have that undercover investigative team. He got a lot of the people that worked at Project Veritas. I don't know how Crowder does his shit. No fucking master. So it's well worth it, folks. Come on, just me alone make your nipples hard.

Good night, everybody. We'll be right back. guitar solo Bye.