The Nick DiPaolo Show - Travis "not so great" Scott | Nick Di Paolo Show #622

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

8 die at Astroworld concert. State Street Global racist against whites. AOC rips Carville. Teacher writes anti-republican quiz. Biden rips one at summit. Racist trees.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House, now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning, honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much.

Let's keep this freedom fight going. guitar solo Oh yeah! Welcome to the show, another Monday. How are you folks? the show. Another Monday. How are you, folks? Don't forget, I'll be getting on a plane Thursday evening to come out to Vegas at the Comedy Works Plaza Hotel and Casino. One show Friday, one show Saturday. And come on out, man, if you're watching. I would like to have a drink with you and maybe, you know, we wander off to some dirty little hoary place. All right. It's Vegas. What happens in Vegas?

Yousie ends up in a Petri dish. What? Oh. Anyways, how was your weekend? Pretty good. How about that thing and the other thing that happened? That was tremendous. It's hard for me to get warmed up on Monday, especially when I had two peaches at about 1 a.m.

I'm fucking using that oven like I'm selling it to people. Unbelievable. Okay, let's get right to it. Let's roll, as they say. In the N-word segment today, in Canada, British Columbia doctor clinically diagnosed this patient as suffering from climate change. That's what he wrote on the chart. He said, if we are not treating the root causes, then we are just treating the symptoms. Root causes?

What are you going to do? Prescribe this sun ibuprofen for 20 years? What the hell does that mean? Doc, I'm burning up with a fever. Please do something. I am. I just put a call in to the leaders of China and India and told them to cut down on the carbon emissions

because you're making my patients sick. You know what they said? They told me to go fuck myself. How long have you had this fever? What's that? Since the industrial age took root? Okay. He started a group, this doctor, with 40 other doctors called Doctors and Nurses for Planetary Health.

Ugh. Sounds like a health kid network, doesn't it? And you thought the waiting time in emergency rooms was bad now. Wait until they start treating anybody who's suffering from climate change, anybody with a melanoma on their nose, a respiratory problem, somebody who jogged behind a bus for five minutes, anyone attacked by a great white shark that pushed into warmer waters. I mean, where does it end? Between these people and the millions of new migrants walking into our country directly because of climate change, according to VP Harris,

the average emergency waiting room is going to look like a Travis Scott concert. I'll get to him in a few minutes. And I didn't even include the trailer trash whose homes get picked up and smashed to the ground like Dorothy's because of frequent extreme weather events. You can tie everything to it if you want. The doctor decided to diagnose one of his patients with what he called climate change sickness when a woman in her late 70s came into the hospital in the middle of the summer because of extreme heat waves that had been going on for weeks that the doctor wasn't

aware of. What? What is it? This guy lives in like the Canada's version of a bat cave? How do you fucking not know what the weather is? She has, listen to this. This is the doctor talking. She has diabetes. She has some heart failure. She lives on a trailer, no air conditioning, says Dr. Merritt of the senior patient. Oh, I see. So it wasn't really climate change, doc, making her sick, but the years and years of

Snickers bars and liters of Pepsi that she consumed while probably chain-smoking Paul Malls unfiltered. And the hot weather aggravated her condition. I think someone owes China and India an apology. His medical group is now pressuring the provincial government to end subsidies to the fossil fuel industry. You know, the industry that provides electricity to hospitals to keep minor things going, like dialysis machines, respirators that are keeping people alive, not to mention the operating room lights, x-ray machines, little crap like that.

This is what happens when people don't stay in their own lane and stick to what they know and become political. Politicizing health care is an epidemic in itself that somebody should come up with a vaccine for. The truth is, Dr. Merritt, the climate has been changing like this since the earth cooled. It goes through years of hot and cold cycles over and over again. cycles over and over again. And in 1918, there was probably a doctor treating somebody with what you would label today as climate change. So take off your politician's mask, put back on your surgical one, and stick to what you know, okay? You coming up with a new name for something that's been around forever is, for lack of a better term, not a hot idea. And that's the N-word for today.

Let's get right to it. My favorite musician ever, I put this guy ahead of Elton John and Captain and Tennille. You guys heard about this Astroland a-hole rapper, Travis Scott. There he is. Eight people got crushed at his concert. They're still trying to figure if people are running around jabbing people.

Ten or eleven people went into cardiac arrest. But this guy, as you can see, sharp as a tack. If you're going to give up your life, it should be for this guy. I mean, look at him. He's terrific. This is how much I hate Kamala Harris. I would put him on the ticket before that twat. Anyways, I don't know what that has to do with anything.

Rapper Travis Scott has a history of inciting music festival crowds to ignore security and violently storm the stage. But because he's a black fella, he gets away with it. That's how the world works today. It's part of the reparations package. Anyways, yeah, so he's had a history of riling up his crowds, telling them to storm the stage, for which he's been arrested and sued by fans, but not enough to stop him from touring.

Scott was arrested at music festivals in Arkansas in 2017, again in Chicago in 2015, for whipping up hysteria and encouraging moshing that left security guard and concert goers injured. Eight people were killed this weekend. More than 300 injured in a stampede at Friday night's Astro Road Festival at NRG Park in Scott's native. Can you imagine giving your life up? It's not even Jay-Z.

It's just so ridiculous. Oh, it is. Let's take a look at him. Here's some clips from what happened this weekend. Play it again. It's a really catchy tone. Look at the guy. Pause.

Pause. In the middle of the screen, down to the left corner of your screen, do you see the guy doing, put it backward, what? Doing compressions on the guy's chest as everybody stands around and the music continues. Not that he could see that from there, but there's a guy right in the middle doing compressions on a guy.

Okay? This was this past weekend. Now let's take a look at what he was doing. What was it, Lollapalooza? A few years ago. Keep in mind, in this clip, the people in green t-shirts are security at the concert.

And he's yelling at them to get the fuck out of the way. Look at the people. Why have I never heard of this guy? I know I'm 59 and white, but, you know, I've heard of fucking Little Jeezy or whoever the fuck. Slappy Magoo. MC Fuckstain. But look at the people here to see this ass. Was he headlining?

Was he opening for a real musician? Auto-tune It's the default music of morons Anyways, watch him riling up the crowd here a few years ago He got you They're not gonna stop you Let's go Let's go

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't you handle him like that. Get on the football. Everybody in the green shirt, get the fuck back. Get a finger up the security right now. Can you imagine? Pause. Imagine you're hired to protect this guy, and he's telling you to get the fuck out of the way.

Good. The best thing that could happen is that Stan Peabody would go up on stage or somebody, an enemy of his. You know how rappers have a little beef with each other?

You're security, you're like, go ahead, take care of it yourself. He's yelling at people paid to take care of him. Fucking please, Nick,

don't make it racial. Okay, go ahead. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We want a race! We want a race! We want a race!

We want a rave. We want a rave. Boy, I got to believe, if this thing goes to court, this one, I think that might be exhibit A. I'm no fucking Judge Judy, thank Christ. Eyes up here.

Elbows off the table. So there's history on video of him fucking riling crowds up. Police accused Scott of inciting a riot during a show at the Walmart Arkansas Music Pavilion in 2017. Yeah, this guy goes perfect with Walmart, doesn't he? I don't even see the connection. Where several people, including a security guard, were injured. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, reportedly in a sweetheart deal with prosecutors to avoid more serious charges. Weeks later, one of Scott's Manhattan concerts became so chaotic, one of his fans fell off a balcony

and was left paralyzed, a lawsuit alleged. I don't know how you blame him for that one, but you know. Plaintiff Kyle Green, then 23, alleged Scott made matters worse by ordering a security guard, oh, to drag the badly injured young man's limp body to the stage. Oh my God. Again, if you're a lawyer, that's a fucking fastball down the middle. When somebody hurts, falls and hurts their head or neck, you don't move them. Nevermind, drag them up on stage. Come on, get the paralyzed guy, get him up here.

Come on, get the paralyzed guy up. Get him up here. He wanted the kid dragged up on stage so he could try to give him a ring as a consolation prize. Sure, you'll be shitting into a bag the rest of your life, but look at this. It's a shamrock. Ugh. Scott was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct

after a Lollapalooza performance in 2015 that lasted just five minutes before being shut down after dozens of fans joined Scott on stage. This happens to me at my show all the time. All 11 people run over the stage. Video from the Lollapalooza concert showed Scott yelling, everyone in a green shirt, get the fuck back! Which is what we just showed you. So he has a, he's a brilliant guy.

You shit-kicking, stinky horseman horse-smelling motherfucker, you! Anyways, on that one, the organizers cut off his mic. The rapper has previously likened his live performances to professional wrestling, as did Frank Sinatra and all the big... Frank used to go, I used to, you know, I kind of consider myself a Bruno Sammartino fan. Telling GQ in 2015 that he did not like

when his crowd were standing around. I always want to make it feel like it's the WWF or some shit, Scott told GQ. Of course, GQ promotes this shit, being the woke fags that they are. You know, raging and having fun and expressing good feelings is something I plan on doing and spreading across the globe. It's a stupid, stupid, stupid. You have everything. If you're suing this guy for this latest incident, you have everything going for you.

I mean, Jacoby and Myers will fucking close this thing in five minutes. Good-looking kid, though. Anyways. Honest to God, people. Now, there was rumors that somebody was running around, they thought, maybe stabbing people. I think it was the J&J vaccine. No. Is that the dangerous one?

Yeah. But some people think, you know, probably, maybe, they're still investigating. But you have his history of doing that shit. I mean, you should have the National Guard there when he comes. If you're going to even, why would you even have them? Anyways, I don't see that going well for him or that venue or anybody involved for the setup. Let's move on to some more stuff, shall we? There are white niggers.

Oh, goodness. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Mr. Bird, I don't like that language I told you. Bosses at one of the world's biggest investment firms will need to get special approval to hire white men as part of a new diversity drive. Isn't it hilarious?

First of all, the description says the opposite of diversity. It says discrimination, race, whatever. And yet they use diversity. We're going to exclude somebody, but diversity is the most important thing. So they got to get special permission to hire white guys at this company. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck? That was the guy in front of me at Arby's.

They got his fucking barbecue sauce wrong. This is a huge investment company. State Street Global Advisors aims to triple the number of black, Asian, and other minority staff in senior roles by 2023. It's part of a drive to improve diversity within its middle and senior management. Because that's more important than people being good at their jobs. Do you understand? Do you understand these leftist fucks are more racist than George Wallace ever was? It's phenomenal. He's proving out to be a genius. Failure to meet the target will result in a drop in executives' bonuses.

That'll get them to snap to attention. I'll tell you what's going to result in money dropping for them. Hiring these un-fucking-qualified people. Well, Nick, why are you saying... You know why I'm saying it! Give me an Indian or a Jew handling my money. What? You can't send my...

No. Or a dirty wasp. Drop an executive bonus is a report State Street, which has 30 offices worldwide, including Canary Wharf, where I have a duplex that I share with a young Indian boy named Muga.

Including Canary Wharf. Where the fuck is that? England? Listen, the company employs 39,400 people. Jess McNichols, the bank's head of inclusion. Oh, Jess, you are sexy. You look like you have BO. She's the head of, can you imagine there's something called inclusion and diversity office and corporate citizenship in London said, listen to this brainwashing, you dumb. I hate to be sexist, but this is now front and central for State Street. It's on every senior executive scorecard, she says.

I despise it with every fiber of my being. By that, I mean your haircut, Jess. I'd be fiber of my being. By that, I mean your haircut, Jess. All of our leaders have to demonstrate at their annual appraisals what they have done to improve female representation and the number of colleagues from ethnic minority background. They can't even come out and say it. We're putting male whitey last.

You guys have had enough. Let me remind all you people who hate America and hate the founding fathers. They were white guys, as white as you can get. They came up with a form of government that has lifted more people out of poverty, and it still exists. People are coming from all over the fucking planet to get into the United States. That's how bad and racist and dumb they were. But you do it your way, woke fuckstains. Place is going to look like a backyard in Detroit, this country, in about three weeks. What's the matter

with backyard? I don't know. I'm sure there's a dirty one. Recruiters must now create a panel of four or five people that includes a woman and someone of ethnic minority background, a puppy missing a leg, and a Puerto Rican with a hair lip. Good night everybody, good luck. Minority background when hiring middle management staff employees at vice president and above. At vice president and above. Don't even start them in the mailroom like Whitey did. Miss McNichols, who hasn't seen a penis since 1987, added that the State Street will still hire white men. Oh, hey, that's nice of you, you yeast infection.

But recruiters will now need to show that women and ethnic minority candidates have been interviewed by the diverse panels. Isn't that terrific? Why is everyone so fucking stupid? I don't know, my Chinese friend. Why aren't more people interrogating, like me? I don't know, Mr. Korean. The new drive will also see the investment firm increase spending with diverse suppliers.

Just cutting whitey out of everything. This is terrific. Wait till this planet falls apart. It has pledged to hold ourselves accountable for strengthening black and Latinx, I don't even know what that is still, owned businesses. The financial giant announced earlier this year

it will close its two Manhattan offices as its employees adapt quickly to working from home. Yeah, it's about the bottom line. It went about. You play the, they're going to hire these people for, you know, whatever, scratch. State streets profits have declined. Good.

I hope you go out of business. As pandemic-induced low interest rates have cut into its gains. The firm has previously announced plans to cut 1,200 jobs. I guess I'm guessing a lot of white fellas. Equivalent to 3% of its workforce. So white fellas, bye-bye. It follows the BBC sparking a discrimination row earlier this year after only allowing people from ethnic minorities to apply for a trainee position.

Out-and- legislated racism. Again, this is in the UK, but it's going on over here. Don't kid yourself. The broadcast BBC, the broadcaster advertised a one-year, 17,810 euros a year, trainee production management assistant role with its science unit in Glasgow. You know, where Biden fired the shot heard around the world.

But the position was only open to black, Asian, and ethically diverse candidates. Put on blackface, whitey. They're giving you a reason to be racist. If they're going to label you, put it on. Go to an interview. Just put it, lay it on there.

Fucking God. This has to end in a lot. Maybe not. I was going to say lawsuit, but... Counselor? What? Counselor! I'm better than you.

I'm better than you trying to think of Max Cady lines I can't well you know you and I can never remember Cape Fear you must know them right do you remember fucking Nolte's wife's name the character name

not Jessica Lange but I don't know, Beverly. He's like, ah, you and I, in another life, we could have been friends. I see you there late at night. He goes, see you there late at night working, finishing up those pesky sketches. Positive discrimination. Oh, here's a new term you better look out for. Positive discrimination.

That's coming to a fucking town near you. I know this is UK right now, but this is an international... Positive discrimination. Is it unlawful under the Equality Act 2010, but positive action, which is code for positive discrimination, allowed for trainee and internship roles in areas where there is underrepresented?

You see what they do? They play with the language and we fall for it every time. Positive discrimination. Let me tell you something. George Wallace, if you asked him back then, I bet you he'd be saying, well, this is positive. Well, Bull Connor or fucking, you know, Ty Cobb. I can't. It's a tough job, folks.

I go home, I have diarrhea after doing the show. Yes, between the show. To the pizza. Yes, between the coffee, between the coffee, the pizza last night, and reading this liberal woke horseshit, my stomach hurts like I'm aborting triplets. Nick, why do you got to put it that way? I don't know.

Pretty funny. You can feel it that way. I don't know. Pretty funny. You can feel it all over. AOC rips Carvel. You know James Carvel, who I like, by the way. He's a fucking lib. Look at him. He's a snake in glasses. Look at him. He's a snake in glasses. He looks just like a snake. And I love that picture of AOC going, look at these. You don't think we're going to pass this legislation? Fucking rack on her. You know, we all made fun of this broad, but it seems to be her agenda, you know, and it's not even far enough for her. She's complaining that it's not woke enough. But don't tell me she hasn't had an influence, man. Pelosi's going to die soon. She's complaining that it's not woke enough. But don't tell me she hasn't had an influence, man. Pelosi's going to die soon. She's just turned 81. Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who is a nice rack, actually looks cute there, but up close, she's got the unibrow on her,

the nose of a shortstop from the Dominican Republic. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez blasted political strategist James Carville We love James! for blaming the Democrat candidate's loss in Virginia on progressive stupid wokeness, saying the term is fashionable among older people. See the young people?

Anybody who says woke is just an old, you know, out of touch. You can't handle the truth! I love her doing this, though. It's very, can we designate that picture every time I talk about her? It's just, like the average audience for people seriously using the word woke in a 2021 political discussion are James Carvel, this is her talking in her tweet. James Carvel and Fox News pundits. So that should tell you all you need to know. Yeah, it should. You mean Fox News that,

I don't know whose audience thinks, just like the people who voted McAuliffe into the toilet and ended his career and brought in, you know, Teddy Roosevelt, Youngkin. You mean those people, AOC? Why don't you listen to an older person who has a little wisdom? I feel like Johnny Sack in one of the episodes of The Sopranos when they have a sit down and Christopher's at the table and Christopher pipes in and Johnny Sack goes, I remember when you used to wait in the car. But typical, right? She doesn't want to hear it. Part of me admires that. She's fucking gung ho for what she believes.

It's going to end in tragedy. But anyways, so that should tell you all you need to know. She admires that. She's fucking gung-ho for what she believes. It's going to end in tragedy, but anyways. So that should tell you all you need to know. The New York Democrat posted on Twitter, and when they told Carville that, what do you think of what she said? He said, shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up, you cunt. Oh, raging Cajun.

She went on to blame Carville, who managed Bill Clinton's 1992 presidential campaign for causing divisions among Democrats by using words like woke. See, it's all about woke. Yeah, that's what caused the fissure. Not your fucking bat shit crazy ideas and bankrupting the country with some bill at 3.5 zillion trillion. And before people disingenuously complain, woke is denigrating. My eyes are getting all slimy again. Woke is denigrating to older people.

It's actually pundits like Carville using terms like woke to insult voters under 45 that's denigrating, AOC wrote on a bathroom wall as she was dropping a load. Don't wonder why youth turnout falls when Dems talk about them like this. We need everyone, she says. Carville, known as the Raging Cajun, in an interview on PBS NewsHour was asked about

Republican Glenn Youngkin's win over Democrat Terry McAuliffe in the governor's race in Virginia. A state President Biden won by 10 percentage points only a year before. Well, what went wrong, he said. What went wrong is a stupid wokeness. God bless you. Don't just look at Virginia. Don't just look at New Jersey. God bless you.

Don't just look at Virginia. Don't just look at New Jersey. He added Garden State with Democrat Governor Phil Murphree barely eked out a second term. Look at Long Island. Look at Buffalo. Look at Minneapolis. Even look at Seattle, Washington. I mean, this defund the police lunacy,

this take Abraham Lincoln name off of schools. People see that? People see that. Progressives should check into a woke detox center. Detox center. Hi, Hillary loves me. You know, Hillary, I hate your guts. I always will.

But let me tell you something. I got more respect for you because you're a cheating whore. But, you know, after seeing Pelosi, at least Hillary's a man. She's in there throwing punches and getting ugly and trying to steal the election, which, by the way, we should be talking about for the next year. All the news came out about the dossier, you know, derms. It's really on her. It's all on that filthy whore, Hillary. dossier, you know, derms. It's really on her. It's all on that filthy whore, Hillary. And if she's not, in my lifetime, if she doesn't go to jail, maybe she'll get hit by the bus, you know, coming out of Pilates class. Anyways, far left. Wokeism is the issue. More anti-Republican news for you. Anti-Republican quiz is that a California high school teacher appeared to criticize conservatives in a quiz question given to students last week, promptland, a city located about 20 miles from Sacramento, to identify a group of complete idiots.

The possible answers were given in multiple choice format as A, KKK, B, all of Florida, C, Fox News, D, Texans. That's the fucking question from the teacher. A, she was a whore. B, she was a whore. That's multiple choice. Parent, parent Jessa Krisevich shared a screenshot of the question with Fox 40 Sacramento, telling the station it sounded unbelievable. These stories have gone in one ear and out the other, she said. Another parent, who wished to remain anonymous, told the station that this teaches one side of political comments most often directed against the Republican Party have been an ongoing issue in the classroom forever. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. The question on the test is really blatantly obvious and that's out there, the parent

said. This has been the first time it has been looked at of him crossing the line. I understand he's just trying to make a joke. Well, that's where you're wrong. You're not trying to make a joke, joke. Said student Joel Alcacera, who cares, who said he had the teacher in a previous year, but that kind of stuff shouldn't be on a test. Finally, there's a kid, you know. I mean, teenagers, when they can recognize it, do you think there might be something? Whitney High School released a statement on Saturday telling parents it will invest, oh, I'm sure you will. I'm sure you will. I'm sure you'll all have meetings after meetings. We'll investigate the controversial question after students, families and the community raised concerns.

Despise it with every fiber of my being. Is that the only time you look into shit? And when you get caught? You know what I mean? Oh, we can't fucking sweep this one out of the rug. It's on the local news. Isn't that typical, though, of a lib? They can't leave it alone for a minute. They put it in a quiz.

They are still furious. They're blind. They have learned nothing from what happened in Virginia last week. Nothing. They're going to put the pedal to the metal even more, which is great, because they're going to disintegrate. I'm hoping. pedal to the metal even more, which is great,

because they're going to disintegrate. I'm hoping. And remember this, folks. The country isn't even one-tenth as liberal as they pretend it is. It's a racist shithole. That's why, you know, people from the Congo taping coconuts to their fucking ass to float over here.

What? Yeah, I saw that. It's a true story. Anyways. Turns out Joe Biden this past week was working on some type of new nuclear contraption. He tested it right in front of Camila Parker Ball. Camila Parker Balls was hanging out with Joe Biden Bowles. Camila Parker Bowles, she's some type of royalty. I hate, I don't follow that shit. The queen could come in here and jerk me off,

and I would just say it was an old lady, and I enjoyed it. I got lowed on her fucking tiara. What kind of show is this? I don't know. Camila Parker Bowles can't stop talking about Joe Biden's long fart. Folks, that's the headline. I'm not making this up. They usually say flatulent. They couldn't.

This was such a rumbler. They said it was like, she said it was like a bass player with all his amps in. President Joe Biden let out a long, loud fart. I have a thousand sound drops. I don't have a fart sound in here. While speaking with the Duchess of Cornwall. You get it? Cornwall. There's the joke, folks. At the COP, which is even funnier, COP26 summit, which is about fucking, at the COP, which is even funnier, COP26 summit, which is about fucking,

they're blaming it on cows and their flatulence. This guy's dropping meadow muffins on his way into the palace. Camilla Parker Bowles hasn't stopped talking about the 78-year-old's long fart. It has been reported. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. That was Biden's response. The pair were making small talk

at the global climate change gathering in Scotland last week when the president lifted his left leg and said, listen to this. It broke wind. Who came up with that phrase? Broke wind according to an informed source that spoke to the mail on Sunday.

That's the fucking paper. It was long and loud. It was long and loud. It was long and loud and impossible to ignore. The source told the outlet. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Was that you, Mr. President?

My goodness gracious. Camilla hasn't stopped talking about it. That makes me like her. Look at the look on her face. She looks like Pete Navarro with a blonde wig. Why do women turn into men when they get old? It really isn't fair. Biden met the Duchess of the Duchess of what? The Duchess of... Biden met the Duchess during a reception on Monday at the Kelvin Grove Art Gallery. I've been there many times. I like the Elvis painting with Michael Vick choking dogs.

Have you seen that one in velvet? Attended by Prince Charles, the Duke and Duchess of dog shit Cambridge, and Boris Johnson, who actually, in this picture, actually combed his hair. Parker Bowles, who has been married to Prince Charles since 2005, lost an, in this picture, actually combed his hair. Parker Bowles, who has been married to Prince Charles since 2005, lost an eye in the fight. Storm. No, she was taken. Look, it says she was taken aback by the, you're going to tell me there weren't cameras. Somebody doesn't Come on. It horrified her. Joe's like, ah, come on. Come on, man. Come on, man. I had some bangers and mash before I came in.

Biden is the oldest ever U.S. president and turned 79 this month. Isn't that weird, though? Wouldn't you think there's been a president at least that old? I guess because the pictures, you know, when you look at like Taft or whoever in 18, not exactly health nuts back then. They look like they were 48 when they were in high school. But that doesn't seem,

I would think we would have had one by then, that old, you know? Anyways, I digress. Let's talk about the hottest piece of ass in politics, Kamala Harris. We all, oh Jesus, I just got light head doing that. Gotta go to the dentist for cleaning. Anybody else think that's a rip off by the way? Seriously, I don't go twice a year like they tell you. But just the fucking, I've been x-ray way? Seriously, I don't go twice a year like they tell you. But just the fucking, I've been x-rayed more times. I'll never have kids, even if I wanted to at 86. They have fried my balls into a fine dust. But my fucking wife, she goes once

a year. I think never had a cavity in her life. It's such bullshit. They pick at you for a fucking hour. I go there hoping to see a big pair of tits in the waiter. It never happens. All right. Quiet! Order! Kamala Harris, racist trees is the headline. We all know this broad is as dumb as a bag of hammers,

but she set the record straight. She confirmed that this past weekend in a clip originally shared by Deputy Director of Rapid Response at Republican National Committee Jake Schneider, Harris is seen interrupting a presentation in order to share her woke inquiry. She's going to ask, now, does she get a mask on the dumb hoe she does right so it's hard to understand her but she's actually gonna ask if you can when they're tracking tree growth from a satellite you can tell the racist you know because urban places don't have any trees so that equates to racism and what that what the what they're saying is imagine imagine asking a NASA guy this. They want to bring more trees into urban areas, which gives you more fresh air and fight CO2.

Oh, my God. Do you understand? When people don't know what to do with their jobs, like when you're a politician, you pretend you're focusing on shit that's going to happen 20 years down the road. That way you can't be wrong or right. This is what she's doing. Half of Haiti just came in. We get another car in on the way. She's sitting there like a third grader. Oh, look at the yellow map. This is what she's going to ask to turn her up because it's kind of blah, blah, blah. Go ahead.

Climate adaptation strategies can you measure trees? part of that data that you're referring to in EJ is environmental justice but you can also track by race there are averages in terms of the number of trees in the neighborhood where people live what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.

Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. She asked if you can track, almost like racism by the tree, can you fucking, oh my God. I actually feel a little bad for her. I'm kidding, little bad for her. I'm kidding. I hate her guts. In response to the Now Viral clip, which has over one million views as of Sunday afternoon,

many took to Twitter to mock Harris, which isn't exactly a bastion of right-wing conservatism. Last time I checked. Oh, God. Here's a few comments. this woman is a complete hack and if this is not an act she is also a moron wrote retired senior intelligence operations officer tony schaefer i know who i think he's on guttural symptoms i can't get over the fact that environmental justice and tree equity are real phrases Democrats use, wrote GOP strategist Matt Whitlock. Reads like a parody. It really does, man.

Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. I thought this was a Babylon Bee headline. Turns out it's our totally serious VP, wrote Republican congressional candidate Leon Benjamin up in here. Then one person wrote, I can't believe this douchebag is that retarded.

And that was her husband, Stuart McGillicuddy slash Harris. Anyhow, that is it. That is it, ladies and gentlemen, for Monday. That went by fast. It's the fastest 45 minutes in the fucking thing, you know. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com.

Email everybody you know. Send them that link. Say, watch this guy. He should be kicked out of the country. You'll love him. Comicsgym.com. Go to nickdip.com. And don't forget to sign up monthly

please to keep the show afloat I feel like I'm raising money for some type of cancer or shit don't just sit there you one way cocksucker if you join at the veto level we'll send you this Fredo tote bag anyways nickdip.com

don't forget I'll be in Vegas this weekenddip.com. Don't forget I'll be in Vegas this weekend. Cameo.com. Excuse me. A lot of them this weekend. I did like four or five. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. Tell me about the person.

I'll make a video roasting them on my phone. It's a lot of fun. Or her. Or it. You can use whatever pronoun you want. So cute. That is it, you guys. Thank you. And I will say it. You are very welcome. you want. So cute. That is it, you guys. Thank you, and I will say it. You are very welcome.

We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music