The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump-45 Defeats Covid-19 | Nick Di Paolo Show 423

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

The Commander in Chief comes back from concise Corona conflict. Without irony, Michelle Obama talks about the underclass from her Martha's Vineyard mansion. Bernie gets a surprise guest at his rally.

Hey everybody, we've been hearing ad nauseum the last six months, that quote, you know, we're all in this together. Horseshit. No, we're not. People like you guys and me, we're on one end trying to get to the truth, and on the other end are some really big, powerful entities trying to silence us. YouTube, who took away this show's opportunity to make money, is one. Twitter, who is shadowbammy, is another.

Hell, the entire Democratic Party thinks the First Amendment shouldn't apply to us. You know what? They're fucking wrong. I'm going to keep doing this show four days a week. I'm going to keep doing it for free. I need your help, though. If you haven't contributed to the show, please go to NickDip.com or click on the button in the video description to do it. If you have contributed, please consider doing it again. It's very important. This is my call to action, and it's bigger than me or you. It's a call to action to keep fighting for the truth and for free speech. Please contribute at nickdip.com, and thank you so much for watching. Share this show and like this show, and let's keep it going and growing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Paul and Joe.

Oh, I don't know. I guess I'm just... Do you remember Paul and Jace? Funny guy. Funny gay fella. He'd be a trillionaire today. He was so goddamn funny. It was a very funny impressionist, Fred Travolina.

He was kind of like a D celebrity. But he did a great thing, The Godfather, and he had Paul Lynn playing Fredo. And Vito's at the tail. All my sons are in the business. Sonny, Michael, they all done well. Afraid of how come you're not interested in being in the family business. Oh, I don't know. I guess I'm just different.

That was fourth grade, I think. I saw Merv Griffin. I probably didn't even know what the godfather was. I was laughing my balls off. Probably maybe sixth, seventh grade. I don't know. Anyways, how are you folks? How's your tits? Pretty good. We got a Facebook. A woman sent me this last night, a fan.

Jessica Redman. I shared this and Facebook sent me a message. She was sharing the show, right? And they sent her a message saying it goes against community standards. She says, I hope this is interesting to you. Your show is great. Love the intro. I hope you like more than just the intro, Jessica. How about the beginning and the middle and the end? Thank you for that. Yeah, that's, you know, against their community standards. Community, once again, what community is that? Somebody tell me where it is so I can go

take wet dumps on the sidewalks in front of this community and pull out all the Biden signs. Our community. Fuck your community. Your PC community. You're censoring anybody who thinks different than you politically, community. Your intolerant asshole community. I'm telling you.

Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich oh goodness gracious and i'll make me a sandwich segment tonight former first lady michelle obama pulled no punches in a new closing argument uh speech in which she pressed a sustained attack on President Donald Trump's failure on the coronavirus and racist fear mongering and told Americans to vote for Joe Biden like your lives depended on it. She's such an insincere middle linebacker of a woman. You can see she hates white people one eighth under her face plate never bought it and so this is this is my favorite first lady presenting a closing argument like her fucking husband he was the worst ever got nothing to do with this race he stunk he fucking stunk. He fucking stunk. And all the statistic proves it. Meanwhile, she's lecturing us like my producer said, you probably made that on her porch in Martha's Vineyard. Don't see a living

in the hood or even close to it, Michelle, you fucking hypocrite. Go ahead. A president's policies are a direct reflection of their values. Pause. Exactly right. Your husband was a fucking Marxist and his policies were a direct reflection. How about when he spied on President Trump, which he knows all about is coming out soon. So those are his values. He's a fucking cheater, an American hater, and a Marxist. Go ahead, chubby. And we're seeing that truth on display with our current president,

who has devoted his life to enriching himself, his family, and other wealthy people he truly understands. There's something wrong with his mind! Cutting taxes for the rich and big corporations, cutting regulations that protect regular... Pause. Yeah, that's how you make the economy grow. Why don't you tell your husband that? She doesn't mention raising wages

for the first time in a thousand years and factories coming back to America. You know, all that. NAFTA did a lot for us. Let the strong safety continue. By people like him, cutting his friends loose from prison time. He boasts about gains in the stock market. Cutting his friends from prison time. Did your fucking husband.

Pardon anybody. Did your husband get prison reform done? pardon anybody? Did your husband get prison reform done? No. Did your husband create community zones so black people could benefit? Even black people say they benefit way more under so-called racist Trump than your husband. These are all not my opinions. These are facts you can look up. Everything out of her filthy mouth is not true. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Go ahead. You look at the lives of regular folks, whether it's creating blue-collar jobs, making health care more affordable,

protecting the environment, keeping our families safe from gun violence, let alone the coronavirus. Keeping them safe from gun violence? Your husband was a community organizer. What's going on right now in the streets was a result of his fucking, what he advocated. You can act like a man. Oh, she is.

What's the matter with you? Go ahead. Coronavirus. There's nothing much to brag about. By contrast, Joe Biden has lived his life guided by values and principles that mirror ones that most Americans can recognize. Pause. I guess most Americans like to steal money from China. They like to plagiarize.

They like to lie about where they finished in their law school class. Should I go on? He was wrong about every foreign policy decision, and Democrats have said that. Values? Fucking values? He's been letting China eat his lunch, as the president said. That's how most Americans think,

blue-collar people. How the fuck are they still even a party? Somebody tell her to put in a cover, too. It's time for a nickel package. Go ahead. I know Joe. Your husband hates him. I know Joe. Is that it?

You sure, Jason? Oh my God. That was disgratsiar. That was just absolute lying about everything. Yes, we share blue-collar values. We have a house in the vineyard. But we know what it's like. My husband was the only president never to reach a GDP of 3%. That's her high as a kite watching fucking what's happening. Wah-da-wah-da-wah-da-wah-da-wah-wah-wah. Michelle, Michelle, what made you into such a hateful lady,

huh? Indeed. But she's taking acting lessons. She's very believable. Uh, alone the coronavirus. Even though under my husband, we couldn't handle H1 flu. And again, I'll repeat the statistics of this killer pandemic that has so ravaged the world. 40 million people in California,

15,000 died from it. Total. 200,000 people died in our country. 10,000 died of actual corona itself. The rest of them had complications. Trump got it. Supposedly morbidly obese in 72. Shook it off in two days.

I had it. My teeth were chattering. I sweat through my sheets for a couple nights and I felt like I was 20 again. I felt great. But what a joke of this calling this a pandemic and shit. It's like a bad cold, unless you're fucking fat and old. It really is.

An expert who's been following this, what's his name, Alex Berenson, I think, he's got a book out on it. He's like the authority on this. And he's just lapping at the masks and shit. And if you're age one to, what is it, 69, you have a, what is it, 69? You have a, what is it, 99.9% chance of not dying from it. And they're calling it, put on your mask.

I can't take it no more. Anyways, Trump got it, shook it off. I don't know what he was doing last night, walking around outside the White House and showing us that he was, he actually looked thinner. Let me tell you, if that's what Corona does, give me a dose. I've been trying to drop the same 15 pounds for the last 20 years.

Somebody get an old Chinese lady to sneeze in my filthy mouth. Trump recovers and delivers a powerful message on the coronavirus last night. He looked terrific. He was in great spirits. And he did it for us. He's ready to roll. Let's take a look. And one thing that's for certain,

don't let it dominate you. Don't be afraid of it. You're going to beat it. We have the best medical equipment. We have the best medicines, all developed recently. Under me. And you're going to beat it.

I went, I didn't feel so good. And two days ago, i could have left two days ago two days ago i felt great like better than i have in a long time i said just recently better than 20 years ago pause yeah you're all coked up 20 years ago waking up with the strippers and models and wait a minute no No, that's too far. I'm thinking 20 years ago is in the 80s. Wow. He should have done some one-arm push-ups like Jack, was it Jack Palance on the Oscars? James Colburn? I think it was Jack Palance that did one-arm push-ups. He was like 80 years old. He should have. Come on. You're the funniest president in the history. You should have taken your shirt. You should have rode a horse like Putin funniest president in the history you should have taken your shirt you should have rode a horse like putin with no shirt on around the white house

with pence on the back with no shirt i am your voice i was watching that that that last How cool the helicopter drops you off on your front lawn. And I'm going to go, he must love that. Then I'm going, what am I saying? He did that in New York for 30 years. You always see his helicopter landing and shit.

Let me try it. I got to get closer to Donald Jr. I want to land on the White House lawn. See if I can go up to that Marine and go. He has more to say, I'm guessing. Don't let it dominate. Don't let it take over your lives. Don't let that happen.

We have the greatest country in the world. We're going back. We're going back to work. We're going to be out front. As your leader, I had to do that. I knew there's danger to it, but I had to do it. I stood out front. I knew there's danger to it, but I had to do it. I stood out front. I led.

Nobody that's a leader would not do what I did. And I know there's a risk, there's a danger, but that's okay. And now I'm better and maybe I'm immune. I don't know. I love him. I love him. He insists on not being scripted.

Maybe I'm immune. I don't know. Somebody shoot me another dose of that COVID. Let's see what happens. I had to leave, which he did. Fucking he's in the Joe Biden's in the basement. Oh, the way they're playing it, the media went shithouse when he said, don't let it dominate your life. This is irresponsible. Every channel. This is irresponsible. This is irresponsible. Every channel. This is irresponsible, disrespectful of people who died. But you people on the left really are the biggest fucking pussies on the planet when it comes to fucking race. When it comes to this, you're afraid of the world.

He did it for us. You heard him. But it cracks me up. We're going to wipe this out. Drugs I invented in the kitchen with a couple of the chefs here at the White House. But they are furious that he put that out there. Don't let it. They're angry that he told people don't let it dominate your lives. Have you ever,

are they right about anything? What planet are you from? I try, try not to be so partisan, but it's hard. Well, he feels good enough, apparently, our president to debate shithead, I mean, former vice president Joe Biden. they're going to do a second debate. I think he got sick from the first debate. He should come out in a glass box with wheels on it. That's the best he's ever looked. I get news for you, young or old. He's staring at me like my father used to when i came in drunk after four in the morning our father president trump still plans to debate democratic nominee joe i'm glad they put that in

the article he's a democratic nominee who the do you have to they get paid by the word these mamalukes uh he's gonna debate him at the the second presidential debate in Miami later this month. That should be fun. Put him off. Put him off. Did you hear that they're going to have a button for the moderator to cut them off? Yeah, that's one of the changes. Gee, I wonder who's going to benefit from that.

Can you imagine? They haven't confirmed it yet, but that's what they're talking about. Can you imagine a presidential, and they're literally silencing the two guys debating, the one guy debating, literally silencing him. That's a perfect metaphor for the shithead Democrat Party. Let them go. Get no moderator. Put them in a room.

Eventually, like I said, it'll come to blows. And Trump's all jacked up on that fucking COVID medicine. And Joe Biden's just too old. Let them go. Let them fight. Put them up.

Put them up. At least 12 other House staffers or associates of Trump have also been diagnosed with COVID-19 since then. And his reelection campaign has been forced to cancel all in-person events, just like we planned it. Because we know those rallies actually probably won him the election in 2016. So we created this shit. He can't leave the house. His friends can't.

Oh, that's a conspiracy. You guys, I'm talking to my fans. You know it's a hoax. It's the biggest one ever played. Speaking before a crowd in Florida, the former Veep said he continued to pray for Trump and Melania. And he was glad to see the president speaking and recording videos over the weekend. Oh, I'm sure you were happy.

He's lying. Now that he's busy tweeting campaign messages, I would ask him to do this. Oh, here comes the lecture. Listen to the scientists. What was Fauci, a fucking umpire? And support mask mandates nationwide. He's still pushing that. Biden told the fucking idiot crowd that he knows he'll buy it. Can you imagine? He wants all of us, wants to make it a law to put on a fucking mask. That's faggot stuff. You want a call by its name, that's strictly for fags.

That's what I told him. Since the president entered the hospital on Friday, more than 100,000 more people have been diagnosed with COVID. Let me translate that. More than 100,000 people have a slight cold that they will survive. And this week, at least 5 000 uh more will die really where you getting that number from your scientists yeah gupta on cnn cases and deaths are climbing in many states biden went on can't you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up?

Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? Can't you see this is all a big fart? Please tell me. I want to get a mask, but on the mask, it's an open mouth with a dick going in it from the side. Anybody, can you knit that for me? I want to get a Rachel Maddow mask.

Well, Halloween is coming up. I can't wait for Halloween. I told you what fun I had last Halloween. Out of all the Halloweens, I'm 58 and I've been through. And I started trick-or-treating when I was one by myself. Parents didn't like me. Um, I cannot wait to sit on the porch and have my black neighbors freak out when they see Pennywise and got to come up with some other shit. I don't know, human heads, something. Anyways, uh, cocaine. 5,000 more people will die. Write that down, Jason. We can keep track of that. Let me move the booze out of the way.

Hey, I want to thank... Why am I doing that? I want to thank all you fans who continue to buy Nick DiPaolo's show, Merchandise. Jason, we got some photos up there, it says. What in hell? Good lordy. That is better than any billboard. That's bigger than any billboard you'll see on a highway anywhere. That looks almost like Kendra Cunningham, a comedian I know. That shirt's never looked better. People want the name in lights. I want my name in tits. Jesus Christ, you could have put my middle name, my confirmation name on there. Thank you, blondie with a giant fun bags.

I need more pictures like that. And I don't mean you guys with man tits. And here's a pretty lady, Trump 2020. Holy shit, she's got a fucking raccoon. Don't spill the coffee on that fur. She looks like a magazine photo. We got some attractive fans out there. I always like to check out the house. Looking in the mirror there.

What's up? Look at that mug next to her fur coat. Come on. Usually my fans have a leather vest on with a Harley. Here's a picture we got from Cheryl. Who is Cheryl? Is that Cheryl? The first one was Cheryl. Cheryl, thank you so much again. And I'm sure your kids enjoyed feeding. What? And this is Carla who bought a mug. Isn't afraid to tell the world who she's voting for.

Well, I think it's obvious when you get a fur coat, that's not true either. The fucking Dems are rich now too. Uh, ladies, thank you so much. You can get any more pictures. That's it,

right? Uh, you can get official Nick DiPaolo Show logo gear at my website. That would be nickdip.com. Make sure to send us your photo with gear and we will share it on the show. Right here on our show, we got Carl and Cheryl

displaying gear. Anyways. Anyways. displaying here anyways anyways America's sweetheart America's

sweetheart Kayleigh McEnany she is the press secretary for Trump House press secretary

she got COVID she got COVID no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hicks' diagnosis prior to holding a White House briefing on Thursday, she added.

I wish she did. I don't know nothing about that. I wish she did. I wish she did know and had Jim Costa come up and spit right in his big hole while it was open. She had a press conference with reporters on Thursday, which she conducted without wearing a mask. Oh, God, is everybody dead? Did you take the temperatures?

Raising questions about what she knew and when she knew. Her colleague was sick or not. I can't take these people. I want another picture of her. This is me trying to meet her. Go home, please. Please, no. He places the lotion in the basket. I want to see my mommy. Please, no. I want to see my mommy.

I want to see my mommy. Put the fucking lotion in the basket. That's me losing my temper with my wife at the beach in saint bart's they want to you know if she infected the president the first lady oh so the president's affected uh the first lady several white house officials the president's affected, the first lady, several White House officials, the president's 2020 campaign manager, the head of the RNC, and three senators. So we know, we know, we know that the Republicans didn't take it serious. That's why everybody's sick. Jason was looking at that picture pretending that mask was her bra

that's what he told me ooh I hear a cop car oh that was a that was our air conditioning alright something wound down anyways Matt uh Air conditioning? All right, something wound down.

Anyways, Matt Gennady, Monday, she made an appearance on Fox News Channel on the heels, on the heels of her positive COVID-19 test. And here she is talking about how she feels right after she found out. Yeah, I'm feeling great. I'm having no symptoms. You know, I'm very blessed to have a mild case or really just an asymptomatic case. You know, my heart goes out to all of those who've been affected by this and all those who have lost their lives. But I'm pleased to see that our commander in chief is doing well, watching him on that balcony, just showing that we will overcome. America will overcome just as he is overcoming this illness, I think, was a really nice moment for our country to see.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, she looked like she's on a deathbed. That shit is potent. She should lock herself in a basement with Joe Biden. Yeah, I'm asymptomatic. In other words, the only thing that's wrong with me is I was tested. Yeah, but you'll spread it to somebody else. I'll spread what to somebody else? You know, the thing that kills one and maybe six zillion people? Oh, no.

I've smelled farts on planes I'd be more worried about. You know, when you fart, that's aerosol, too. You know that, folks? Little shit particles fly through the... That's why I load up on broccoli and beer the night before I get on a flight to Denver. What? Scientists find COVID can alter cognitive function.

That's the last time fucking Jerkoff was tested for it, Biden. Nearly a third of hospitalized COVID patients, you know why they're putting this out there, right, folks? Because Trump just had it.

So, you know, he might not be up for the job now as opposed to Biden who didn't have it. He's retarded. If Biden gets this, he might not be up to the job now, as opposed to Biden, who didn't have it. He's retarded. If Biden gets this, he'll be speaking in tongues. But nearly a third of hospitalized COVID-19 basing experience some type of altered mental function, ranging from confusion to delirium and unresponsiveness.

Well, well, well. What are we doing? What's going on right now? In the largest study to date of neurological symptoms among coronavirus patients in American hospital systems, that's the result. It fucks up your head after you've had it. I read that right after I had it. And I don't know. I think it's this this this fucking vape makes me a little punchy by the end of the day you're not supposed to keep it in your mouth all day right so they think uh you know they put that out there because trump had it so maybe he won't

be able to handle the job as opposed to this guy who he's running against we hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women created by the, you know the thing. I'm among many qualified people. I'm the best qualified person for this job. I'm beginning to see why your wife left you. Why you text Xander? Why, why, why, why, why, why?

You're getting nervous, man. Get out of my face, motherfucker. COVID has taken this year, just since the outbreak, has taken more than 100 years. Look, here's the lives. It's just, when you think about it. You know, the rapidly rising... You're going to tell me he didn't have it?

I said that as a joke, but now I'm starting to think maybe he didn't have it in with uh i said that as a joke but now i'm starting to think maybe he did you know that what are we doing what's going on right now you're up by 14 according to the polls and if anybody believes that you can lick my thick ankles. The study, though, it looked at the records of the first 509 coronavirus patients hospitalized from March 5th to April 6th at 10 hospitals in the Northwestern Medicine Health System in the Chicago area. Most of those people had bullet wounds in the back of the head, so that might have been it. After they were discharged, only 32% of the patients with altered mental function were able to handle routine daily activities like cooking and paying bills. Oh, you mean wifely shit.

Oh, poor you, said Dr. Igor Karenik. Patients with altered mental function, the medical team, they call that, the medical term is encephalopathy. Yeah, encephalopathy. I had it down last night. You know what, encephalopathy, you know, that's just, that's doctor speak, which means there's something wrong with your brain. But the people that were diagnosed with that were also nearly seven times as likely to die as those who did not have that type of problem. And again, they put that out there because they know Trump just. Bye bye. The description can include problems with attention and concentration like we just showed you.

Loss of short term memory. Hello. Calling Joe Biden. Disorientation. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Stupor and profound unresponsiveness or a coma-like level of consciousness. That's everybody in the fucking Senate and the House. I'm telling you, man, it's dangerous. It's going to fuck with your head, man. Isn't it funny to watch the NFL and they let like 11 people in a big...

The Jets are the only team whose attendance went up this year. Has either New York team won a game this year? They're both 0-4. They have two football teams, and this happens almost every year now. So embarrassing. I feel bad for them. Let me tell you about my Patriots last night. If you watch them, they're going to be fine. If they had Cam Newton, they would have won that game last night. I don't know how Belichick does it. Yes, I'm digressing. I don't know how he does it, man.

He's got a bunch of no-names. Like four all pros aren't playing this year. They opted out on defense. They held, what's his name, to like six points until the third quarter, Mahomes. So look out for them. They get healthy. I'm just saying. But the Chiefs are fun to watch.

I'll tell you that much. Back to the horseshit. CDC revives coronavirus guidance to acknowledge that it spreads through airborne transmission. Now, let me ask you a question. Didn't we already know that? I thought I heard that a long time ago. They also said it. You know what they said yesterday?

It also is worse indoors, which I've known already. We're just learning that now after 200,000 people kicked the bucket. It's worse indoors. You know where they're keeping you? Quarantined like Like de Blasio? Shutting down half of Brooklyn yesterday? He's in on it! You can see his erection through his pants!

Just loves it! And then he has to go, but I feel bad for, you know, the people with small businesses. Oh yeah, that's you. But didn't we know it traveled through the friggin' air? Isn't that why I'm wearing a fuckinging air isn't that why i'm wearing a fucking mask is that why i'm wearing a welder's helmet on the plane the cdc cited published

reports that demonstrated limited uncommon circumstances in which people with the virus infected others who are more than six feet away from each other i'm not following those rules either are you guys because i don't believe none of it i don't want to talk to you get away from each other i'm not following those rules either are you guys because i don't believe none of it i don't want to talk to you get away from me in these instances transmission occurred in poorly ventilated enclosed spaces you know like your house where they're telling you to stay that involved uh activities that cause heavy breathing. Oh, no. Comedy. Exercise.

I let the thing run without looking at it. What's some other of them, Jason? Singing. Huh? Singing. Singing. Telling really funny jokes in Alabama on Saturday night. Stand up live, that could cause it.

What a bunch of poo-poo. The agency added that it is much more common for the virus to spread through larger respiratory droplets that are produced when somebody coughs, sneezes, sings, talks, or breathes. You know. produce when somebody coughs, sneezes, sings, talks, or breathes. So if somebody sneezes, yeah, we know that. I was on a plane once, and I'm not kidding you. This was in my act like 10 years ago. An Asian lady was across the aisle from me, she sneezed and I watched a snot bubble or something come off her tongue, float right across and land right here on my right wrist. Not a little one either. Looked like the fucking Wicked Witch of the East was going to come out of that.

But this is how it spreads. Oh, hello, everybody. You snotty little bastard. The number 11 is brought to you by Sesame Street. That looks like some type of lemon-lime frozen ice. All right, get that off there i'm getting sick to my ass oh so i again i don't understand that report we're just finding that out i always thought but they're saying big droplets and and again they're telling you it's worse inside you're

gonna see people this winter so confused. They're going to be making snow angels naked. They're going to have their windows open when it's 11. It's going to be a mess. The updated guidance comes after the agency mistakenly posted a revision last month that said the virus could be spread through aerosols, small droplets that can linger in the air forever. So that's the big change now.

And you blew it! Big, giant knots. You blew it! Apparently. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Hey, tour date's coming up. I'll be back on the road again this weekend performing stand-up. It feels good to be back, Tommy wrote.

He should write, it feels good to have Nick back on the road where I can sit back and collect blood money. I'm only kidding. He's worth every fucking penny. So I'm working things out for an important show coming up. It's not a special, so relax.

In the meantime, please come on out and see me at one of the shows. Otherwise, I won't know if some of this new stuff is going to work or not. This Saturday, October 10th, I'm going to be at Stand Up Live in Huntsville, Alabama. I think it's a 6.30 show, which is good. You know why? Because all the good college football starts at around seven on Saturdays. Of course, I'll be going on stage right when the four o'clock games get interesting. Nick, that's not important. Focus. I don't care. Sunday, October 11th,

I'll be at Zaney's in Nashville. The first show sold out, so he added a second show. I'll be at Zany's in Nashville. The first show sold out, so he added a second show. Monday is the holiday. What is that? Columbus, I guess. Oh, I thought we were still celebrating that racist. So come out Sunday night to see me.

Two shows at Zany's. November 6th and 7th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City, which I did about two years ago and absolutely loved. November 19th, the Improv in Raleigh, North Carolina. November 20th and 21st, the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. This is a rescheduled date from the one canceled in September due to the fake COVID disease. So come on out. Fuck it.

Don't bring a mask. Come to the second show in Vegas. That's an important show. I got some scouts from the Food Network there to see me. And the Weather Channel. They say if they like me, the Weather Channel, they're going to let me play the saxophone over the local eight. On to more stories, more news.

This is disturbing. This even disturbed me. And it's creepy. They call these like deep fake videos or artificial intelligence. I think it's the same thing. But you want to see what happens when you get caught up in politics to the point where you lose touch with what's i don't know right and wrong or moral um this one really fucking creeped me out the parents of parkland shooting victim joaquin oliver created a video using artificial intelligence to depict their son urging his peers to vote for lawmakers who want to end the Second Amendment.

This was the creepiest, saddest thing. Can you imagine exploiting your dead kid like this for a political issue? Boy, am I fat. It really... Watch this. This is just creepy. I am Patricia Oliver, and this is my husband Manuel.

Two years ago, our beautiful son Joaquin was shot and killed at Parkland. Every day I think about him... I believe it's sad. ...and what his last moments must have been like. Meanwhile, every day nearly 100 more families lose someone they love to gun violence. Pause. To gun violence? I'm not trying to make fun of him, but he just lied there.

You see? About 90% of that, what he's talking about, 100 a day. First of all, the suicides are like 50. And the rest of them are gun violence, as in gangbangers. Okay? You know what the school shooting, the chances of them are gun violence as in gangbangers and okay you know what the school shooting the chances of dying a school again it's like 0.05 percent of some shit so see they're exaggerating it's not true if that's not bad enough they go ahead you'll freak out every single day we keep telling people it doesn't have to be like this. They don't listen.

So we found a way to bring back someone that no one will ignore. It's very hard for me to look at this. Why'd you make it? It's hard for us to look at it. Please listen to what our son has to say. That's creepy. He's gone. Then you couldn't do nothing about it. Yeah, you could. Yo, it's me. It's Guac. I've been gone for two years and nothing's changed, bro. People are still getting killed by guns.

What is that? Everyone knows it, but they don't do anything. I'm tired of waiting for someone to fix it. The election in November is the first one I could have voted in. But I'll never... Can you imagine?

Can you fucking imagine? Exploiting your dead child for political reasons and a message. Yikes. Go ahead. Get to choose the kind of world I wanted to live in. So you've got to replace my vote. Go to unfinishedvotes.com, register, then go vote.

Vote for politicians who care more about people's lives than the gun lobby's money. Vote for people not getting shot, bro. Pause. Yeah, vote for people not getting shot. Vote for people like Lori Lightfoot, mayor of Chicago, who you can't keep track of how many people killed every weekend.

Right? What are you talking about? Vote for Bill de Blasio, where murder has skyrocketed in New York. Vote for people like that, he's telling you. Go ahead. I mean, vote for me, because I can't. We've got to keep on fighting, and we've got to end this. And I'll tell you another thing.

Frankly, you're beginning to smell. That's kind of distasteful. Is it not? Do we have any more? Who are you to judge i don't know um me reminds me of those people that uh well this is even worse you ever see the people in some i think it's happened over here after a loved one dies they have them like stuffed like a deer on the wall they don don't have them stuffed, but they

have, they put in that, you know what, lemon fresh, pine salt spray, whatever they put in them to preserve them. They had one of a kid who was a boxer. He's standing in the funeral home in the corner like this with his shorts on and shit. Oh my God. That was just fucking disturbing. And I believe the mother when she says it's hard to watch. Why did you agree to such things? It makes you look horrible. Let me tell you, my parents would never bring me back. Even if they had actual technology to bring me back.

Never mind the fucking hologram. It was very, very, I don't know, it was kind of shocking. Anyways, I got a new hero in the country, ladies and gentlemen. And did you see this woman? She's a patriot to me. She was at a Bernie so-called rally. I think there were 11 people there, which was so goddamn funny. She had a MAGA flag. And it's so goddamn funny.

She got in Bernie's way. And just watch at the end how they treat somebody exercising their First Amendment rights. It's getting creepy in this country. It really is. But check this out. This is funny we will be raising the wages of more than 40 million workers the american people need a wave increase a big blow flag minimum wage and that's what Joe Biden is proposing.

God bless her and look how she's treated. There's no sound on the second part. Look, they come and get a cop. Look, get in her face. Look at this. The cops are fucking, they bought into it, I guess, huh? I love this. Come back here

and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. Did you see the punk fucking photographer? So you get the cops and the media beating a woman down, exercising her fucking First Amendment rights in America in 2020. See the little punk with his camera? The fucking cops.

On what basis? She ought to sue the fucking shit out of him. Jason, you should take the case. You want to make money on the side? You can win that. It's how easy it is. That fucking punk with his camera. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in.

Good for you, lady. Get her on the show. Let's fly her in here. Let's fly her in now. I don't know what her name is, but how funny. And they pull back at the Bernie speaking like 11 people. Apparently social distancing wherever he was speaking had to be 100 yards between each other. One-time contributions.

I got to thank you people again for keeping this show up. Nickdip.com if you want to contribute or Patreon.com. Click on my profile and become a monthly subscriber. These are the people that contributed since last night.

Stuart Murray, Illinois. Justin Madsen, Washington. Cougar Gordon, Illinois. Oh, poor you, Ahern, Virginia. Tim Noak, Missouri. Tim Chidester, Washington. Jonathan Chavez, California, John Vassar, Virginia, Paul Sagnella's wallet, Ohio. That's another guy because isn't Sagnella from Connecticut? I love it. Imagine the heckling each other now. Thomas Cook, Georgia. Cat by New York, Robert Curley, New York.

New monthly supporter, Jason Berkelbeck. What? No, Scott Bray signed up as a monthly member. We thank you guys so goddamn much for buying the merchandise and contributing to the show

and went up. You know what the beauty of this is? You guys know I'm not bullshitting you when I say, you know, you know DM Welb trying to silence guys like me and you guys can keep it going. We got a Patreon question.

We got a Patreon question. Paul S. Oak Park, Illinois. I did comedy there many times. If a media conglomerate offered you $100 million for your show, but with a caveat that they would control and edit your content, would you sign with them? You know what that he's alluding to? Joe Rogan, right? They told Rogan, you could do the exact same show. You can really speak your mind here. Now, Paul is implying that Joe knew before he agreed to it that he was going to be edited and shit

which I don't think I know Joe plus he had a ton of money in the bank don't forget before he signed this deal so I don't think he would agree to that Joe's not a sellout I never got that but as far as me

oh yeah I'd do it in a fucking second I don't have fucking I don't have fear factor money or news radio money my dog needs an operation it's actually a great question paul but see that's i don't think that's how it went down you know i mean um? Here's the problem. First of all, if you said yes, especially if you look at my history, I'd be laughed off the planet. How about $50 million?

That's probably Tommy, my manager, writing that question. No, I wouldn't. I'd think about it, though. I'm going to be honest. I would think about it, though. I'll give you that. I'm going to be honest. I would think about it. But really, it would be a very bland, dry show, and it would go the fuck away. Yeah, but Nick, you still have the $100 million. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Do you guys know how much money? Do you understand, since tough crowd, me shooting my mouth off and letting people know while I was in show business that, you know, I leaned right in my politics. You know how many gigs probably canceled because of this show? So, you know, I'm taking it in the ass in some ways. But I don't think that was the case as far as I don't think they explained to him, look, we're going to have to, they lied to him. That's going to get ugly, I think. Me and my buddy Zook were talking about that.

Thank you for the question, Paul. That was a good one. And finally tonight, right here in the Savannah area, UNH professor trolls left posing as a woman of color. Can you imagine with such a racist country, we have people every day, I've done 10 of these stories, that pretend they're black. Some of them do it in their real life. Remember that brought out in Seattle? And there was another one who came out, said she's going to get help. Yeah, but we're racist. First time in the history of the planet that people want to be part of the underclass.

A white male professor from the University of New Hampshire has been voted from the classroom for posing as a woman of color, the latest and a growing trend of race fakers. Exactly. Nick, don't ever do that again. I won't. Craig Chapman. That's the teacher. Allegedly.

There he is. Oh, look at him. He looks like Sean Donnelly, a comedian I know. Look at that. That's the definition of ginger. I bet you he's a big fruit cup. I know he's a big fruit cup in real life. He has to be.

He looks like a Civil War general when he was real young. Craig Chapman allegedly secretly tweeted under the name Sassy Bitch. No, the science femme. And handle at Piney underscore the whatever that means. What the fuck does that mean? To rail against the left, transgender, and even people of color, here's more than 130,000 followers. We don't have the balls to do it

as a blue-eyed white devil. Chicken shit. But see, I mean, you can't. You're a professor at UNH. You're done if you even. The account boasted removing all woke terminology from the statement, including anti-racism, white supremacy, white privilege,

and claims of systemic racism. So he's on the right path. You should have just tried to do it. You can't do it as a male. This is where we are as a white male. And you still get caught. But screenshots showed the science firm repeatedly responded, I'm a woman of color. And counter arguments online. Privilege, LOL. I'm an immigrant woman of color who grew up poverty oh he gets real detail sleeping on a dirt floor what a tool you are dirka dirka muhammad jihad dirt floor that's what he's responded. He says, you know, I'm a woman of color, right? Racist?

The bogus account replied. In other posts, the science firm claimed to be an immigrant woman of color who grew up in poverty, slept on a fucking dirt floor. I hate people who get, when they lie, they get into real detail. I'll give you the best example. This makes my wife laugh. When I was in high school, we were drinking, underage drinking. We were like seventh or eighth grade shit-faced on a Friday night. One of our friends passes out to the point where we thought he might have been dying and shit. He fell literally behind the bushes in this kid's house.

His feet are sticking out. He's like 6'5". We thought he had some allergic reaction. So we have to call the parents of one of the kids that's with us. The parents come down. And the first thing they ask is, where did you get the beer? So I'm ready to lie my balls off like a good Italian. But I know how to lie.

My buddy goes, a guy bought it from, we took it out of the cabinet, his parents' cabinet, right, and refrigerated it. We had hard booze and everything. He goes, we got it from a guy. He had a white hat on with a red feather. He had a white hat on with, and I looked at him i could go i go for christ's sake david really and then we just told him the truth it was the dumbest you should have seen both parents eyes

rolled up and he had a white hat and a red feather oh yeah what kind of shoes did he have was his belt buckle bra oh my god it just fucking i i just go we just told the parents that that was the worst lie ever uh that's what this person's doing very detailed uh the account also targeted real women working in science well i like his attitude he just fucked up with the execution chapman who teaches chemistry at unh has been known to snort some product blew up his secret identity on twitter with a tweet about his brother's brewery, Pinelands Brewing in New Jersey, which was posted on

both the Science Fem and his own personal account. He fucked up. And you blew it! You blew it! Let's end there for today. What do you say, folks? That was a beauty. Again, thank you for the contributions. Don't forget cameo.com.

Go to there. Click on my profile. I'll send you a little video. I'll make on my phone saying happy birthday to your girlfriend or we'll roast somebody, a friend of yours, a brother, a sister, somebody at work you like or don't like. Whatever. I can be nice, be nasty. Most people like the roast shit.

One guy played one at his fucking wedding. God, that takes a lot of balls. No for nothing, T. All right, that is it for the day. You guys keep thinking it. I'll keep saying it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow.

Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.