The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Big In Da'Hood' | Nick Di Paolo Show #1448

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump and Desantis sparring, Pittman helps DeSantis and a whole lot more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Hi, folks. God damn it. I erased all the sound drops on page five. Those are the ones I used for the opening. Oh, God. Fucking A, man. Walking around yesterday talking to Colin Quinn, get him on speakerphone, looking for my phone

as I'm talking to this motherfucker on speakerphone. Looking, moving shit on my desk. It's minutes before I need a diaper. I'm telling you, I blame the old man. Out of all the genes. Guy was a great guy. Give me that one. Young nurse comes in.

Nice legs, huh? Fucking mother's over there. I said to my mother, I didn't say it to her, I said to my brother, that's the last thing they go, the pussy lobe. That's the last thing they go on a guy.

You can't kill it. He was out of his mind. He couldn't speak a sentence. Young girl comes in the room and she leaves. Nice, huh? My mother's like, my mother looked like Tony, like Pauly Walnuts. It's that primal instinct. It is.

You can't kill that. You wonder why we're rapists. Well, not me. Anyways, you know me. I ripped a girl's dress at a prom. Listen. It was an accident. It caught my hunting knife.

Guys, watch the ID network. It's so goddamn good. Even though, again, they focus on white, Midwestern people who are religious, like they're the evil Network. It's so goddamn good. Even though, again, they focus on white, Midwestern people who are religious, like they're the evil ones. It's all, but still,

they're real crimes and boy, do I enjoy it. All right, real quick update. I know you guys love Red Sox talk. Those cocksuckers. Adam Duvall, who we miss most of the season,

he was American League Player of the Week. I think they said, what did he say? Eight homers in eight games? Or five homers in the last five? Anyways, he comes up last night, hits a three-run homer in the bottom of the seventh. We're down by two. Puts us up 5-4.

And then Cora brings in some relief pitcher who we got about a month ago. I don't know if he came up through the minors. Barrett Claw. Gives up a tiny nine runs. He hit three different people, and Dallas said I jinxed him because I was talking about when I drilled three kids in the back in Little League. At least I did it in Little League. This guy's doing it at Fenway, important game.

Gave up a fucking granny, I think. He did everything, and even the announcer, who's a dope for the Red Sox, goes, I don't understand why somebody's not loosening up in the bullpen. This is after he already gave up like seven runs. And I'm going, does fucking Coronado not like this guy, trying to humiliate him? And then they're trying to justify it. Euclid, who I love as a player, but as an announcer, makes excuses.

Well, so-and-so threw a third of an inning on Saturday, and the other guy threw a third of an inning Saturday night. Really? Grown men, 240-pound pitchers in their 20s. They can't throw more than a third of an inning back-to-back nights. So nobody was going to come in. That was the mentality. And they blow a game like that.

And I love Cora, but he treats these like they're kids with cancer. He treats them like, I need a day off every three weeks. Do you really? What are you doing? Coal mining? Dude, Atlanta has been playing Acuna and all these other games. Yes! Every game to game, they have not taken a game off.

And I'm very disappointed at you not giving me that story. Did you see what happened last night? I was busy last night. I don't give a fuck. You're busy. You have to. Acuna, you got attacked on the field. How did I miss that?

I just remembered. I go, he'll have that one. Not attack, but whatever. Fans charged the field, two of them or three of them. And he ended up on his back. But I think they were like a, of course they wouldn't show it. They showed it from far away. I don't know if it was like a friendly bear hug or whatever the fuck.

But anyways, there was two guys. And one guy, one guy got away, right? And the other guy turned into an animal. There's three security guards trying to tackle him. He's swinging. And Acuna was laughing about it. So I don't think it was a bug. But the point is, you should never be able to get to a player on the field.

Right? And it was kind of creepy. Especially with the run we're having right now. That's what he puts ahead of his health. You know, if we have five games under 500, I don't give a fuck if the guy's got a knife. But this guy, and they were chanting MVP right after they finally get the guy off the field.

But this world is just coming apart. Anyways, that's my baseball talk. Anyway, so we get blown out like in the bottom of the whatever, the top of the... Let's get to it. Sorry, folks. I'm a heterosexual male. I still enjoy athletics and all kinds of snatch.

All right, none. Speaking of snatch, Don Jabbing Ron. After former President Donald Trump floated the idea that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis... Oh, my eyes are so gooey today. I really got to get them. idea that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, oh, my eyes are so gooey today. I really got to get them. DeSantis might drop out of the GOP presidential primary and run for U.S. Senate against incumbent Sunshine State Senator Rick, I could be Rick Scott. DeSantis campaign press secretary Brian Griffin

slapped down the notion as fake news. What's the idea? Room is a strong in political circles, I guess this is Trump talking, that Ron DeSantimonious, his presidential run is in shambles. Trump's getting worse. And whose poll

numbers have absolutely crashed. Put him third and fourth. I don't know, fourth. It's a long way down. It's a long and fourth. I don't know, fourth. It's a long way down. It's a long way down. I'm starting to get the rhythm after nine years of him being around. Putting him third and fourth in some states will be dropping out of the presidential...

Dude, I can hardly... I think it's the Ozempic. I'm going to need a cane and a dog in about a week. I'll be skinny. Will be dropping out of the presidential race in order to run in Florida against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that's an interesting one, isn't it? Trump wrote. It appears that an earlier version of Trump's post had included the misspelling rumors. He spelt it R-O-O-M-E-R. Gee, I bet you nobody jumped on him for that online instead of rumors.

This is fake news, Griffin fired back when responding to Trump's comments. Clearly, Donald Trump and his army of consultants are panicked about Atron DeSantis' winning debate performance. By the way, Vivek won it, so suck a bag of cheese. I think, maybe not. And the strong momentum that has followed.

They know this is a two-man race. And the strong momentum that has followed. They know this is a two-man race. And, you know, DeSantis is saying, no, he's not saying that. I'm saying this. I'm staying right here. He was doing an impression of Olivia Soprano. It's a two-man race, and we'll carry this on to a win in the presidential primary. Instead of pushing fake news from New Jersey. The Trump campaign should be focused on getting their candidate on the campaign trail in Iowa

and on the debate stage before it's too late. Well, yeah, there's a few things hampering him. You know, like the current administration prosecuting him politically, unjustly, at least, but they didn't say, hey, he's in jail or whatever. He's not going to be you know, they kind of handled it all right. Look, I have no problem with DeSantis either, you know,

or Vivek. Vivek's my second choice. Of course, there's people out there, you've got to look up his history, but shut the fuck up. He's a self-made man, and i i believe you know i believe all politicians this much well that and people wake up at some point people aren't always the same as they were a long time ago there you go and i believe the democrats call that obama call that evolving with the you know issues i evolved on that remember he was against gay

marriage and then as soon as he got in the office, he was blowing guys, and he had cum all over his hair, and he evolved on it. I mean, revolved on it. Anyways, Trump, who holds a massive lead over the field of Republican president hopefuls, skipped the first GOP primary debate last week. While the outlook could change before the voting gets underway in 2024, polling currently indicates that Trump appears well-positioned to pork Stormy Daniels and Melania in a three-on-one on WWE's, whatever, position to trounce the competition and secure the GOP presidential nominations. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Scott, who previously served as Florida governor,

has been in the United States Senate since 2019 and done a goddamn thing and is aiming to get reelected in 2024. You talk about a wet blanket. Look at him. He looks like he just did his fifth round of chemo. He's a fucking bore. Pull my finger. Okay, grippy.

He stinks. Anyways, don't you agree? I figure, okay, grippy. He stinks. Anyways, don't you agree? Hey, on the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about, well, I'll be talking about a place that won't serve cops.

We've been through this before. Apparently, that still is around. And what's my West Coast Stupid one? West Coast Stupid is the awarding of the black filmmaker at the protests. Awarding of the black filmmaker. And they awarded him three million bucks. Oh. Well, they injured him. I thought you said they awarded him at a film.

He was getting a trophy for best picture. No, you're right. He was a BLM kid. He was a BLM protester and he got hit with a fucking Nerf ball bullet in the hand and apparently in the eye. Did it say eye too? Did I make that

up? Just the hand? Yeah. Anyways, they gave him a shitload of money. So again, proving once again what a racist country, huh? Anyways, if you want to hear that, you got to do it at nickdip.com, right? You sign up at Mug Club. Nickdip.com.

I forgot the, I think I got it right. Let's move on. Finally, after a year, Nick gets it down. Sure that I can get the oxygen I deserved. Nick gets it down Sure that I can get the oxygen I deserved Hey boys and girls Head over to nickdip.com To get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies

And more Which is yet another way for you to support the show And look sexy at the same time You can also get signed copies Of my previous specials And all of the Nick-a-shirts Just go to nickdip.com And click on store Again that's nickdip.com and click on store. Again,

that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's move on to props for Pittman. Who's Pittman? Well, she's an older black lady who I absolutely adore. Let me say something about the show today. Black people, it's the best. Honestly, I've never been happier with you and that's saying a lot because lately I've been disgusted since third grade what cut I'm kidding but seriously you really I'll tell you something I'm very excited about what's going on out there we'll talk later about the hip-hop community getting behind Trump because they love a gangster I'm telling you it's street cred get arrested Trump if he was smart, he'd have

somebody shoot him in the ass with a rubber bullet and put out an album. Fucking right to the top. It's... It's called, I am your voice. Jacksonville councilwoman Jacoby Pittman. Oh, she was talking about herself when she said Jacoby? What is she,

welding? She got Joe Paterno's glasses. Anyways, councilman, I think that's her, Jacoby Pittman, Democrat. Shut down, pause. Ah! All right. Yeah.

Councilwoman, Jacoby pitman democrat shut down protesters who booed florida governor ron desantis republican at a prayer vigil on sunday i love what this woman did when a black older woman speaks up unless it's you know who fucking uh maxine Waters and she's out of her mind. They get respect in the room. At a prayer vigil held near the Dollar General store. Just that's funny. I know. By the way, Nick, why haven't you touched the white guy shooting three black guys? And it was a hate crime.

Why? Because they don't touch it when it's the other way. And it happens all the time. And by the way, we still don't know who the, remember the trans guy that shot up the school, the trans girl? We still haven't seen her manifesto yet. Yet, when this happened,

two minutes after online white male, they filed this shit on Facebook, blah, blah, blah. That's why. You guys can find it on your own. Anyways, that's what this was about, this vigil near the General Dollar Store, where a 21-year-old gunman killed three black people in what, I put

black in there, it doesn't even say it in the article, in what law enforcement called the racially, see how quick? It was racially motivated. Before they even fucking knew! So that's why. And I'm not going to touch them. You guys do your own homework. I'm doing just what the fucking mainstream media has been doing for 40 years Omitting shit

Racially motivated Nick, you're not playing fair Exactly Eye for a black eye Racially What? What do you mean black eye? Racially motivated attack

DeSantis said he is already taking action To ensure that the future attacks do not happen. As he was trying to speak, people in the crowd jeered at the governor because it was more than five black people in a group at once. So they had to go anti-white because that's what happens. Let's be honest about it. They jeered at the governor, which I, you know. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. And that's when Pittman, my favorite now, stepped in.

She took control of the microphone and reminded those booing that not everything is about motherfucker politics up in this bitch. Well, I'm paraphrasing. Here she is, and God bless her. Watch this.

We are not going to allow these institutions to be targeted by people. I love it. They're heckling him. Watch this. Okay, listen, y'all. Let me tell you, we finna put parties aside. We finna put parties aside.

Because it ain't about parties today. I love her. A bullet don't know a party. So don't get me started. Okay, Jacoby is nice, but Ann is not. Now, if the governor wanted to come here and he bringing gifts to my community, y'all know I'm taking the gifts

because we've been through enough already and I don't wanna go through no more. Now y'all, y'all just be quiet just a minute and let the governor say what he gonna say and we gonna get this party started. You hear me? Okay, let's do it. God bless. What we've got here is failure to communicate. Amen, sister. I want her representing the... You know what I mean? Black people, how could you?

They were yelling. It was a lot more booing than what we showed you. And they're yelling, it's your policies. No, it's your... It's the dissolution of your family. It's your culture

that hasn't changed for 40 years now or more. It's not, okay? The white establishment has bent over backwards to try to make things better. And you can keep pointing to slavery and shit like white liberals do.

That's just a built-in excuse not to fucking behave. You need more of that. And they know. A lot of people, I'm sure there's a lot of black people in the crowd, they're embarrassed the way they're,

you know, young kids, fucking brainwashed. Anyways, amen, sister. All righty then. On Monday, DeSantis made good on that promise. His administration announced initial immediate award of a million dollars to be given to EW to improve campus security. He also announced $100,000 would be allocated to help victims' families. But you should boo him, right, folks?

The fact that he's in the middle of a campaign and came here, because if he didn't come, you would have called him racist. He shows up, you still boo him. See how the white man ain't got no... DeSantis, meanwhile, canceled campaign events this week. He was supposed to be making funnel cakes in Des Moines, giving him time to respond properly to this weekend's tragedy. He is also helping the Sunshine State prepare for an expected hit from Hurricane Adalia.

She sounds like a real twat. We're supposed to get some of that, right? Because I was at Publix, people are buying shit like there's a nuclear war. It's a reason to buy 40 pounds of St. Louis ribs. Even Dallas is making chili today. It's crockpot. Hurricane Adai,

which is currently expected to make landfall as a major hurricane on Wednesday. So I'm sure Home Depot hooked up with the local news and said, we got to sell some umbrellas, motherfuckers, and plywood. Now get that shit. Now the last time we had a big threat,

me and my wife sat on the porch, I think I said this yesterday, literally waiting for the storm to hit. And I'm not shitting you, I should have taken my phone out and filmed it. There was a slight breeze and one leaf went like this. Never forget. It's just, yeah, exactly. It was went like this. Never forget. It's just, yeah, exactly.

It was just like this. I ran out and caught it, gave it to her, we made out. It was a big moment. We seemed to sit in just a little bit, I guess. I don't know. This place is blessed by God. Except for on the 30s,

the streets in the 30s. Fucking something else going on there. The dirty 30s. You hear some crackling. I always go, that's a gun. My wife being, you know, a woman goes, no, that's fireworks. Yeah, but it's December 11th.

That's actually a game. Fireworks or gunshots. That's right. Is that a game? Oh my God. It's like truth or dare. Anyways. Hey, I'm supposed to say something now.

I can't remember, but it's's like let me see if i can get it right um if you're on mug club stick around for the second half of the show not only my show steven crowder's show uh brian callan now we got, you know, Alex Jones on board. Hodge twins. The Hodge twins. Thank you very much. So go to Mug Club and sign up. Actually, go to nickdip.com to sign up. It's much easier. Okay?

And that's that. guitar solo Outro Music