The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Cabinet Filling Fast | Nick Di Paolo Show #1652

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

In this episode comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Jerry Seinfeld, the White House Welcome Wagon, More on Trump’s Cabinet and more! Like what you hear?  Watch FULL episodes of The Nick Di Paolo Show on Rumble Premium! Use Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off annually! https://rumble.com/c/StevenCrowder/live?premium_checkout=1&promo_code=mugclub&plan=annual   For Tour Dates, Merch and more visit https://nickdip.com 2/20/2025 -- Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK   Follow me on Socials! https://bio.site/nickdipaolo  

Avrion certo il langorino! Ovviamente non panino! No, no, no! Un boccone ricco di gusto! Si conosco il posto giusto! Siam d'accordo, su, su, via! Tutti alla piadineria! È tornata la solare! Con crudo e stracciatella!

Aggiungi salsa mango, black pepper and black pepper. You will love every bite! The Piadineria, the best one ever! You're entitled to shit. Remember that. That's Trump talking to Biden yesterday. We'll get to that in a second. How are you kids? I'm in a good mood because, you know, it's the last day of the week for us at Thursday.

And still celebrating getting back from a Tom and Del I've been in what they call eating emotional eating. What's your name? Dallas and give me a good thing to Debbie emotionally disturbed. But aren't they all fellas? No, I just thought I I know you guys, you know, I told you I try to avoid pasta and whatever, which goes against everything my DNA tells me. But last night, first of all, Rotelli is my favorite. They're like shock absorbers. They're bigger than Fusilli.

They're like F fusilli on steroids. You know what? That's a good segue. But I made a bowl of, you know, I go, I'll cook a few honey, but I'm not having any. Somehow I always make twice as much as I should. I had a bowl of fucking roll of telly. I literally felt like getting a little hard when I was eating. Not to do with the pasta, the dog was under the table.

It was so fucking good. I was fantasized about it. What else? What did I do last night? What did I watch? I can't remember. Of course, ID network. Got to stay up till almost quarter to two. Seen what happened to Mary Smith in Denver 31 years ago because it's very important. There's some scary people out there. Anyhow, I mentioned pasta rotelli. might as well segue right into

it. Rotelli's a lot like fusilli. Fusilli, Jerry, do you remember Seinfeld? They had fusilli, Jerry, fucking, do you remember this one? Kramer made a little, he glued together fusilli and it was like Jerry had a microphone made out of Fusili. Fusili, Jerry I think they call. I don't know. Anyways, I thought that was a good segue because I don't even remember who sent me this or where I got it. Somebody sent it to me or to my wife or something. As you know Tom Papa, another good friend of mine, he's on the West Coast and Papa, another good friend of mine. He's on the west coast and politically we're very different, but he's the sweetheart of a guy Tom Papa and funny and he does well. I mean he travels. He's got like three podcasts and Jerry took him under his wing as an opener years ago and they became

pretty close. So Jerry's on his show a lot. They're friends. And anyways, they were talking about comedy on, I'm not sure which one. I think this is the show from, I want to say Xfinity, comedy channel. I think it's on there. Whatever, you can Google it. But Jerry was on there as a guest. And I know Jerry pretty well because of being in New York

so long. And Colin Quinn and him are very tight. And Jerry will be at the Comedy Cellar. And I do remember one time I'm on stage in one of my rum and coke rages. And I go, Hillary's such a C. Good night everybody.

Honest to God, that's how I ended it. I come off, and again, alcohol in me. The nights I got in trouble was I come off, Jerry, he wasn't standing in the doorway, but he was standing a little to the left of the door. So as I'm heading into the door, he comes in, he goes, brilliant. And the most sarcastic, because Jerry's a Democrat, you know, but he's also very sensible about it. He's sort of an old school New York lip.

He goes, brilliant. I felt so, just horrible. I mean it would have been worse if Norm MacDonald said it to me, or Sam Kenison, or my heroes, you know. It would have broke my heart. Robert Klein or whatever. Although Robert Klein is Jerry's favorite comic of all time. And maybe mine. Well, Norm, it's between Norm, Louis, David Tell.

But Robert Klein, when he, in his day, even when I'm on stage, I've said this before, I feel myself slipping into his cadence. Robert Klein, he punches the uh you know Ben Franklin with those shoes uh anyways I'm babbling coffee

but anyways Tom was interviewing Jerry and Jerry my name happened to come up and I usually don't get excited about shit like this but because I like Jerry so much and uh... he he's an icon and his comedy like I you know I like his comedy but you know like I said I like the roughers shit I like the guys who spill big guts on stage but I also appreciate what a technician a joke writer and a professional how he handled his career anyways this is my name came up and this is what he said Nick Nick DePaulo. Oh, I

think Nick DePaulo gave me the greatest line I ever got from another comedian. Really? Which is about the number one fear of most people is speaking in front of a crowd. Number two is death in these massive surveys. Yeah. And Nick gave me, which means if you're going to a funeral to the average person, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy. That's brilliant. That is, that's as good as it gets. He's a quick mind. Yeah, he's right. Quick hands too. Ask the cashier at Hooters. No, I'm showing this because this joke has quite a history actually. I'll tell you how it originated. Maybe you guys have been listening to my show for a long

time. I probably already told it to you newcomers. I was at the comedy, this one I was living in LA, long time ago, 90s. I'm at the Improv on Melrose, the famous Bud Friedman improv, and Jerry's on stage and I see him do that joke, and I had just met Jerry for the first time previously, a few months before that through Colin Quinn, so I sorta reintroduced myself and he goes, and I said, I think I got the punchline for that, because he did something,

I don't remember the punchline was, but it didn't get much. And it just one of those things that I was listening and it came to me as he was saying it like you know so I went up and and gave him and he looked at me right there and he goes that's it you know cuz he's a he's a technician he goes that's it that's perfect cut to a couple weeks later maybe not even run into him he goes that's the best joke in my act right now I thought it was just kind of shining me on a bit

and then I see him do it on his sitcom you know the stand-up part of the show at the beginning he did it there I saw him do it on David Letterman and I get like a applause and he does it in his live act. I was like over the moon with that. I usually don't get excited about that shit but like I said, he's an icon and I always appreciated his act Again not Just from a technician thing but sarcastic and New York Long Island sarcastic Which I fucking love so

anyhow I thought that was kind of cute and the other story about that joke you're gonna there's a comedian named Pete Dominic he you'll see him on CNN matter of fact he was on this week whining about the election and he's a he's not a very big comic. Nobody really knows who I This is how I met Pete Dominic. He's hosting a show that I was on in New York City at some club He entered he before he brings me up. He does one of my jokes verbatim About dirty tits and why girls wash their bras. He brings me up to that So I shake his hand as he's bringing me up and he's going off to echo. That was fucking mine

And so I shake his hand as he's bringing me so yeah watch him do one of my bits right in front of me. Then fast forward years later, a few years later, I'm watching the Yankees game when I'm living in Westchester County, New York. And somebody in the booth said, yeah, I have to give a speech tomorrow night. And I'm very nervous about it. And Michael Kay goes, you yeah, I have to give a speech tomorrow night. And I'm very nervous about it. And Michael Kay goes, you know, I read a survey where they say,

people are more scared of speaking in public than actual dying, right? And that's where he leaves it. And then they go back to play by play. And then like five minutes later, he goes, my comedian friend, Pete Dominic, just called in and says, that means The average person would rather be in the catheter than giving the eulogy. I

Sit up on my couch. No shirt on fucking hair all sticking up. I go that fucking Weasley motherfucker Ripping it off in a Yankees game trying to take credit. I left the 10-minute scathing message on his voice and for some reason maybe because he's Italian I still didn't kick him out of my life but now that I see on CNN Pete making an asshole of yourself cuz you at least most of those CNN people said yeah we fucked up we're wrong in this one you You're poisoned, they got to you. Doesn't mean I hate you. Oh, the other reason I like Pete Dominic, apparently on a flight from Italy, some guy got nuts. I think him and his wife were going to Italy. Somebody got obnoxious and Pete tackled him. He was like the hero in the story.

Maybe that's why. And he's a greaseball. Anyways, steal any more of my shit, I'll fucking kill you. That's how I'm gonna leave that. We're all in agreement, up, up, up, all to the piadineria The sun is back, with raw and stringy Add mango sauce, black pepper or black pepper, you'll love every bite The piadineria, the best there is Let's go to the stories, I guess. White House welcome wagon pulls up in front of Trump's house. On Wednesday, Trump met with former jerk off president Joe Biden, who stole the last election.

We all know that by now. I love that they have a roaring fire, and it's 81 degrees in DC yesterday. She always knocks my balls. I can't, I'm sweating, is it hot in here? Former President Biden in the Oval Office where they appeared more like friends than enemies while discussing plans for a peaceful transition of power.

I played this not so much for what was said, because it was boring, but for the reaction of the press, which seems to be 99% women, trying to get a question in afterwards, and they sounded like a high school. It sounded like a fucking, it sounded like a recess, recess at elementary school. Here we go. Many cases not a very nice world, but it is a nice world today and I appreciate it very much. A transition that's so smooth, it'll be as smooth as it can get.

That's up to Joe. You're welcome. Thank you all. A transition that's so smooth, it'll be as smooth as it can get. That's up to Joe. You're welcome. Thank you all. Keep your eye on Trump's face. Thank you. You believe that? Honest to God, that shows the emotional level is about eighth grade. Can you imagine none of them having enough fucking maturity to go, I'll shut up and let

somebody get one in, maybe I can piggyback. Honest to God, good riddance and take the old man with you. Fucking asshole. I hope he gets hit by a trolley. Why a trolley? I don't know. Trolley's are in San Francisco. Yeah, well this one went off the tracks.

Went all the way to DC. I don't know. White House press secretary and phony and lying blitch, lying puppeteer, raggedy and all, White House press secretary, Kareem Jean-Pierre, sounds like a good goldie out of Vancouver, said President Biden did not showcase classified information to President-elect Donald Trump

during their Oval Office meeting on Wednesday. Somebody asked, Peter Ducey asked him, I think, or somebody asked him, it might not have been. And she said, why would he? That's a sick question, you're a sick fucker, I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. We would respect her more if she said, why would he? That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. We would respect her more if she said that. This was an opportunity, she said, for them, she gets all defensive, by the way.

Who said what? She gets all defensive. Worse than the history. Kamala Harris and her set black women back a thousand years. This was an opportunity for them to speak candidly openly, she said during a White House press briefing. Yeah. You can't speak candidly about the documents? When asked by, oh, it was Peter Ducey about whether the two about having, oh, having a

golf matchup. Ducey asked about a golf matchup, something that came up during their June debate. Jean-Pierre dodged the question because it was so controversial she is so ignorant and this is symbolic of her going DEI going Kamala got it is symbolic it is a watershed moment whatever that is Google it it's a chef with a lot of water in it yes bye bye sweetie unbelievable country is like the least racist place on earth it proves it with her appointment with that job moving on to filling the cabinet with goodies boo meanwhile I hope I can remember

all these. We've been trying to, he's nominating people so quick that we can't keep up. I finish a fucking article. I go back to watching a ball game and come back and there's two more. Meanwhile, Senate Republicans elected John Thune of South Dakota. at love it he looks like a senator questioning Michael Corleone it doesn't he from that era mr. Corleone is it true that you're the leader of a crime family syndicate the Corleone now senator I have my own family. And nice tie, Jacob. John Thune of Dakota, as a majority leader, he's replacing the old stroked-out Mitch McConnell. That's another huge thing.

That piece of shit, when you guys say the Republicans and the Democrats aren't much different, you can blame it on McConnell for about 50 years, a lot of it. Succeeding a retiring Mitch McConnell, thrown the Republican whips in 2019, edged out John Cornyn. I don't even believe he was in the running. This guy was not a Trump fan. Every time I saw him, he was saying bad shit. John Cornyn of Texas, after Florida's Rick Scott, who, another one who I didn't trust. He was always too on the fence for me. A late favorite of hard rightright members I disagree was eliminated on the first ballot president so I guess Trump felt the same way president-elect Donald

Trump continued to fill out his national security team Wednesday announcing that former rep Tulsi Gabbard I'd love this pic will be his nominee for director of national intelligence. DNI, not D-E-I, DNI. There she is, showing how she backhanded Kamala during the debates. Love her. Military woman, smart enough to realize the left had lost their fucking minds. She looks good in lululemons. Gabbard, a former vice chair of the Democrats National Committee who endorsed Trump and joined the Republican Party late in the 2024 campaign will oversee America's 17 intelligence agencies in the power. That's a huge thing, because they're going to clean house.

I don't know how you replace these people so fast. That's what scares me. What are you bringing, Eagle Scouts and shit? President-elect Donald Trump selected Rep Matt Gaetz. This is the one yesterday that people were freaking out over. Okay? To serve as his attorney general. Now you know this guy's a real firebrand. Shit, I didn't give you the, I didn't give you that famous clip of him about a year ago, right? When he was saying why do all these women it's a cliche But you know why all these women at these pro at these pro abortion rallies Why do they worried about it? Nobody wants to he goes impregnate you if you look like a thumb

And then they show him after some woman comes up from the news, you know Are you saying largely that that most of the women that were at this march are ugly and overweight? He goes yes And she goes what now? What do you say to the people that are offended to that? He goes be offended. I Bet you Trump saw that one I'm putting him somewhere But the problem is there's a lot of GOP I'm putting him somewhere. But the problem is there's a lot of GOP people who don't like them, which still tells me they're fucking maybe they should go. You should love them.

Not to mention he looks like a young Kennedy. Doesn't he? I posted a thing on my ex. Check it out. It's a picture. I said, I'm glad he doesn't think like Ted Kennedy, but every time I look at him and I put up a picture of a young kid Right here Here's a video of something

Attorney general nominated Florida congressman nominated Gates as Attorney general of the United States He just wrote this social quote Matt as a man goes to a party attorney trained at William & Mary College of Law social quote Matt is a man goes to a party attorney trained at William & Mary College of Law distinguished himself in Congress through his focus on achieving desperately needed reform at the Department of Justice few issues in America are more important than any bipartisan weaponization of our justice system Matt will end weaponized government protect our borders dismantle criminal organizations restore Americans badly shattered faith and confidence in the Justice Department.

He looks the part man. He, right away he jumped out of his seat. Excuse me. It will be an honor to serve as President Trump's Attorney General. Gates responded on an exit. Again, a lot of people don't think he's going to get through the nomination process. And it sort of bugs me. Gates 42 had not been reported as in contention. That's how the theory makes sense. As in contention for the powerful administration. But has been a loyal supporter of the 45th president and has been trying to influence the administration's choices being made at Mar-a-Lago. Florida congressman had earned a reputation from being a thorn in the collective side of his house colleagues which I love. I don't want to talk to you, get away from me. Fuck you, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. For his hard-right stances in opposition to former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy leading to the Californians removal from power in October of 2023. So Dallas said that he

had read the move here is they know he's not gonna get through the nomination process so he's gonna take the Senate seat right in Florida what was it Dallas? Open seat? Yeah it would open up a seat open up a seat in the house fill and he's gonna and he would probably occupy something else they said it yeah they they mentioned the Senate so that but don't we I thought they already won the house yeah I think they're trying to get extra bodies in there all right I'm sitting right here. We got to show that clip. Did we already show it?

My brain is gone. Did we show Don Jr. talking? Oh, no, that's not what I want. I want to show the clip of the last one I did. Oh, we showed that too. Did we show that on the show? What's it like to work with retard? The press secretary one.

The one I... Am I in the right building? Jesus, alright. Anyway, hey folks, listen up now, this is important because we're in flux here. As far as moving to Rumble Premium. This is all very exciting, but for you subscribers out there, keep watching the show today.

For those of you not subscribe You can watch the full show by clicking the link in the description below To get access to the full show in all mug club content Sign up to rumble premium and use the code mug club. That's one word Mug club one word to get access to full shows Mug Club, one word, to get access to full shows, my full shows, crowders and everything that's Mug Club and everything on Rumble Premium. This is what we're doing for now. It'll be made a lot easier eventually. We are still making the transition over, so expect some bumps here and there, but worry not, they will be worked out real soon. So bear with us. It'll be worth it. some bumps here and there but worry not they will be worked out real soon so

bear with us it'll be worth it oh goodness gracious what the and I'll tell you why Dell and I'm not fucking kidding you once again I go to bed at 510 5 and I'm like no that's good for me. I go yes. Cut to me. 2 35. Ooh a fight in Brazil. Dude and I know you. I just fucking know. And I'm like ugh fucking then I'm watching just funny shit and I'm becoming one of those fucking idiots. So I 2 35 I put the phone down, I wake up at like 440, two hours later, and I'm like, oh, don't even tell me, I lay there for like 40 minutes, back to sleep, woke up at 820, and I'm like, God fucking damn, and that's, I know, I'm going to end up like my old man. I'm telling you, Alzheimer's sleep is what prevents Alzheimer's.

There's proteins that build up plaque, and at night you have a chemical that washes over. I snorted those chemicals. They're gone. February 20th, go to nickdip.com. Don't go there on the 20th. Go there today. Click on the button, and you'll see my tour date right now.

February 20th, Brick Town Comedy Club, Tulsa, Oklahoma. I've played many times, not at this club, but in Tulsa in the past. Had a great time. Looking forward to it. Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching!