The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Hater Arrested With Gun | Nick Di Paolo Show #1608

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump hater arrested, Axelrod's warning, another NYC problem and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

["Sweet Home Alone"] Balls on this prick. Ain't very big. Testosterone therapy. What that does is provide your body with testosterone so your body doesn't make it and you're not shrivel up. I don't understand. But I know how to put makeup on them. They look huge.

Don't know how the light hits it. That's right. Well, actually I do it in the dark. And then it's not me. It's somebody. I got a maid from Ecuador. Hey folks, good to be with you on a Monday, and I don't know why I say that, dreadful week ahead of me.

We'll be on Crowder this week, Wednesday and Thursday morning, I believe. And then Friday night, so I come back Thursday night, get my car on Friday, drive to Jacksonville, only a couple hours for me. And then from there, I go to Duluth, Georgia on Saturday night. So I'll be doing stand-up and looking forward to it.

I don't know what to look. It's too much. We've had a decade's worth of news in the last three weeks. I don't know if I have time to organize it. I don't have a club to work out at. So you're going to be in for some some raw unadulterated fucking poetry very dark a lot of C's a lot of D's a lot of J's what happened this week at anything no you're married stupid the fuck did I do? I don't know.

God, that's bad, huh? Sox took two out of three at Texas. They're back on. They are hitting. They're leading since the All-Star break. They're leading all of baseball in office. Dallas, I can't explain. I've never seen rookies grow so fast.

Now their pitching's kind of shitting the bed here and there. But that was expected. Anyways, enough of that horse shit. Headline, Texas twat arrested for threatening Trump. This didn't get enough play in my opinion. Did you see it anywhere else? Police arrested a Texas woman, Christina Montoya, 41, for allegedly making threats against former President Trump

as well as carrying an unlicensed firearm. Oh really? An unlicensed firearm? My vagina's angry. I didn't hear a lot about this. It's pissed off. Yeah go home. How about that? Make me a sandwich. The woman, Christina Montoya, was arrested after traveling to the nation's capital. Police were first notified about her by the secret service, according to the Metropolitan Police Department. Detectives through investigation, 41 year old Christina Montoya of San Antonio, Texas was arrested and charged with carrying a pistol without a license, possession of an unregistered

firearm and threats against a former president and being a douchebag. Police said in a statement, did they really? Watch your fat fucking mouth. Oh yes, soon sergeant. Authorities said Montoya's threats against Trump began on July 20th. Yeah, you take your time getting to him. Police located the woman's vehicle and recovered a Smith and Wesson M&P shield pistol, a magazine, and a gun lock according to the police report. The incident comes just weeks after Thomas Matthew Crooks, remember him? The guy on the slippery slope, attempted to assassinate Trump at a rally in Butler. Trump narrowly survived the attack receiving a bullet wound to his ear but of course the you know the Secret Service or whatever his name is who said I might oh Christopher Wray thought it was a shrapnel wound. I can't believe everybody's not nobody's been fired yet for that either. Fuck you on the left everything you believe in and watch

your back everybody else on the left. Just saying watch your back. Not from me. I'm harmless. God fucking damn. But words hurt. But words can hurt. So I hope those hurt you. Anyways, yeah, we know we survived a bullet wound.

Thank you, guy who wrote the article. The fuck are you doing? So a bribe with a gun. And boy, Fox News is just slowly slipping into Leftville with some of their headlines and shit. And the New York Post is fucking useless. That used to be. And again, it's owned by the same company, News Corp.

And they're fucking, they're just quietly slipping away, folks, slipping into that, using some of the same jargon. And I always look at the authors of the articles. Do that too, and try to Google. Find a doxum, if you don't like the article. How about that? That's right, doxum. I'll show up at their house.

You send it to me on an email, kevinatmccardy.rum. And I will'll show up at their house. You sent it to me on an email cabinet mccarty got rum and I will Take over to their house and bring him some lemonade and I bring it I'll give him a nice what they call a Putin cocktail It's club soda a little bit of you know what fucking Stole a and just a hint of Preston. Oh know what fucking Stoli and just a hint of Preston oh I watched the movie you guys I'm sure you all saw the documentary on the ice man Richard Kuklinski on HBO who was a serial killer who worked for the mob killed over a hundred people and they made a movie about it so I said let's see how they

did on the movie it was fucking great it was great I don't know why I brought that up oh because of him he had some pure some chemists gave him pure cyanide or something like you literally literally sneeze just blow a little on somebody they're dead literally like two minutes later. It's the creepiest shit. Oh, God. He was scary. His big move was to get a guy in a noose, throw him over his shoulder because he was like 6'5", about 270, if not bigger. He would throw the guy over his shoulder and hang him. Dude, I'm sure you can get it on demand, not the movie.

Watch the documentary first because I'm interviewing him. One of my favorite killers of all time. Work for the mob. They're like this guy is psychotic. His father used to beat him, his mother treated him like shit. He got bullied in school and one day he had enough. He beat a kid to death with one of those dowels that you hang your clothes on in the closet he had had enough anyway and he's a great anyways I'm off the fucking but please please Dallas you'll fucking be

fascinating the other thing he did he had a he put a guy in a cave tied a guy inside a cave somewhere up in the woods I don't know if it's upstate New York that was filled with rats and left them there let the rats ate the guy alive but as far as his wife and kids he was like fucking leave it to be but fascinating anyways let's move on Trump rally this weekend in Atlanta this is pretty cool let's take it yeah he was an ATL baby, the birthplace of hip hop, I call it. I don't know if that's true or not. But what was great was the black fans. Black fans were out there.

Here's Trump, a little bit, you know, of what he said in Atlanta. We're going to make this radical and incompetent administration from the White House. They're destroying our country. We're going to save our country. to we're going to save our country yesterday it was announced that unemployment is going to save our country three hundred and fifty thousand americans joining the unemployment rolls just last month look at the black people and they're not staged. We could end up in World War III and in depression. How about that? Oh, come on now. Come on.

It's terrific. Back in the day when Republicans presidents spoke, they had to like find black people, pay them $400, and make them sit behind Reagan and shit, because it was totally black dams, blah, blah. Now it's getting. You can tell. These are real, because they talk to them,

they interview black guys on the street. I think I have a clip in this show, or the tomorrow show, I'm gonna show you, black barbershop, white guy asking, if Kamala's really black, it's fucking fascinating. And you know what, you dams, you put yourself in that position with all your identity horse shit.

So good luck. Live by the sword sword die by the sword excuse me folks that's a little bit of snow what anyways let's move along to axelrod warnings now this guy acts a rod you know he made Obama the president base like he was sort of what he was to like Karl Rove was to George W. he was to Obama he still gets a lot of airtime him and Carvels I think they still know the game better than most of these far left nitwits a former Obama campaign manager David Axelrod warned Democrats not to get cocky over the Kamala Harris campaign during an interview

Saturday on CNN. David Oxerog said, I think there's a justifiable sense of concern in Trump's camp that this thing could get away from him. It may be their race to lose, but it's a race that could be lost, which I disagree with, which is something they didn't feel when they left that convention in Milwaukee.

That's what he had to say. but well the other thing is the two of them on a debate stage he says the whole scenario shifts you got a guy who's 78 years old and who frankly isn't all that coherent all the time, who suddenly looks like the past and not the future. Who the fuck have you been hanging out with? Really? Because I saw black people being interviewed who love Trump. That's the past? Look at Douche here.

That's her thinking about pancakes. So yeah, he says, I think it's a wide open race, but Trump has the advantage right now, and everybody should be sober about that on the Democratic side but he closed with this little bit of a warning for the Democrats. Look I mean I mean anyone you know there's a lot of irrational exuberance on the side of on the Democratic side of the aisle right now because there was despair for some period of time about what the November was going to look like. Now people feel like there's a chance. Why is that

David? It's absolutely Trump's race to lose right now. He is ahead and he is ahead most of the battleground states. Well so what changed David? Because what, Nitwit's still the same. Well, so what changed David because what nitwit's still the same She didn't change She's still the dumb idiot. They don't even let her go off script, right? It's like they're doing what they did with biden They can't even trust her To go off script. She's so stupid Yet you all all you idiots out there praising her got behind, you're not smart enough to ask yourself. Why so, everybody's, well it's a fucking honeymoon is what it is.

I haven't seen her do a press conference, handle questions and shit. She's running from Trump on a, he wants to debate her on Fox, she doesn't want to do that. What the fuck, what has changed? Nothing other than, I've been saying this for how many years. Without the media, a complicit media, they would never win an election. Honest to God. But there's enough dopes out there.

I don't think there are enough dopes. I think it's rigged just like the last one was. This is going to be so interesting. I personally don't see how if you people out there you look at Trump what he went through when he was president for four years what they did to him and try to destroy his character then the last couple years they try to jail him on trumped up charges then they try to kill him and you're gonna look at him and go now I think she deserves the bow that means you don't give a fuck you're just blind

you see their team my team that's all you see you don't give a fuck about the country because you can look at his wreck and go he did a pretty good job even though I hate him get over yourself with it oh I don't like them you know I got fucking date him I'd date him with that kind of cash like to have some fun of my life I'll take you off we'll go to Arby's I'll get you a hand job down in the village it's gonna be great cocaine you like coke I know a guy I know a guy Hunter Biden. You ever hear of him? Little bit. Little bit. Stop. Anyways. You are correct. I know I am.

Let's move on. That's all I got to say about that. I don't know folks. Pud, let's let's get off politics. Lighten it up with some penis material. Let's get off politics and lighten it up with some penis material. Pud pull is a problem in New York City. Remember the old, did you guys just say pud? No? Was that a northeast thing? What are you, pulling your pud? We used to say that in high school.

You wish you did. I know it wasn't just the Northeast because I've done it on clubs all over the country and they sort of know what I was talking about. Some of them. The ones who pull their pods. I said I like that. More sickos are publicly pleasuring and exposing themselves on the streets of the Big Apple crime statistics show. A nauseating development critics have chalked up to lax laws and a broken mental health system. Here's a guy right here getting a ticket. Nice socks.

I was looking at his nectarine ass. Yummy. I know he's in socks. I didn't even know. What am I gay? I've been staring at his ass. That looks like me after I banged the wife, or before. Look at the cop. Yeah. I got a guy here, well, impersonating a penis. We'll get him on that end.

Yeah, Bill, got another one. Yeah. Look at this. Just standing there. Anyways, reports of pervs fondling themselves out in the open soared 51%. That's a lot. That's like half more. You add black guys in, it's 121%.

Cock, big cock joke. One out of 12. See the man with the shriveled balls. One out of 12. See the man with the shriveled balls? One out of 12. People my age will get that. 51% it's sort. Through June 30th. Well yeah, the weather gets warm.

Time to air out the nuts. Up to 378 complaints from 251 during the same period in 2023 according to the NYPD. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there, according to the NYPD. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you. No, I'm good. Meanwhile, cops issued 159 criminal summons through June 30, citywide, to New Yorkers, whipping out their genitals, sometimes to urinate, a staggering 396% increase from the 32 tickets

written in 2023. And now you're probably going, well, that doesn't count when you have to pee your whip. Yeah, but they do it like on a bus, in the subway, in a library know in the lesbian section of the library all kinds of good shit but I had a clip that I couldn't find I think they must have taken it down it was in the New York Post of a black dude on a crowded bus standing here's the driver he's holding the railing right there and he's standing right in front of a packed bus pulling his prig. And nobody's doing about anything.

He actually rang the thing to get off with his bing-bang increase from 32 tickets. Anyways, why would you live in New York? It's beyond me. Three weeks ago, a long-haired naked man fondled himself while sitting in a chair outside the Washington Square diner which I used to hang out at after we did the Comedy Cellar me and Louis CK and a towel would go to the diner play with our write our jokes and shit and talk I told five in the morning I was free oh

god now I'm like Tim Robbins and Shawshank. I'm kidding honey I love you. Anyways Washington Square dining in the pouring rain he's sitting out in the rain pulling his putt. I don't know if that would bother me. You're in a dining you're kind of bored you're eating your cup of soap and a long-haired guy. Anyways, what is anybody? I don't know. You're fucking crazy. No, I'm just hearing it out. Days later, a woman in a subway car decided to parade in front of commuters in her birthday suit, he said.

Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny, me so horny The push against incarceration together with the city's inability to hospitalize and effectively treat the severely mentally ill has driven the surge in disturbing deviancy according to Carolyn D. Gorman a mental illness policy analyst at the Manhattan Institute she says if we don't enforce laws so individuals aren't in jails or prisons and they're not receiving psychiatric treatment because the mental health system deprioritizes the mentally ill,

these people are out on the streets, he said. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. If I'm a taxpayer, especially if you live in New York, your taxes are through the roof, you're gonna open another thing, it's gonna be more money, let them jerk off. Just don't do it near my kid. How about this? You let the civilians start punishing him. Try pulling that shit in India or some Muslim town. That's where they have a little bit of a handle on the situation. I mean, if there's a rumor you're

a pedophile in India, they'll chase you for 400 miles and stop you to death. It's kind of fun. What? Let's take a look at a video on this subject matter see this is a civilian taking care of it look wait you guys hear this woman obviously black woman and she's had it it I'm just picture of being a tourist from Idaho being on the subway for the first time and going what is going on here. She caught some guy playing with himself on the subway and this is how she handles it.

I understand you miss. Or right now. We gotta understand you. Now I've got your fucking picture on here. Like I say, I don't give a fuck if this ain't your stop. You get off this train with that freaky shit. Get up! Get the fuck up! Get the fuck off this train! Oh my God. Rats are available in the shuttle.

Get your fucking craze here. Get the fuck off the train! Sitting here rubbing on your penis, are you serious? Get the fuck off! Fuck beats the shit out of you! Sounds like Patrice O'Neil. You got the right one honey, because I'm a crazy bitch! Please believe me!

Thank God for connecting the dots for us. Get the fuck off the train! Wow, Herckel! Oh, I believe you! I believe you, D.A. Carter! I don't want this. I don't want to give those lying cocksuckers any ink. How about that? See, but the young Turks are all excited because, you know, it was a black woman doing that.

If it was a white guy, you know, let that black do the same thing. Well, you know, you saw what they did to their what's his name. Penny was his last name. The guy that got. Yeah. But with her, that was great. She blacked She's strong. It was great, but I'm just saying that's how you like Don't let them don't wait for the government to handle it But again if you get physical with them if you're white and straight you go to jail under fat

So, you know I'm talking about hey guys If you guys want to see me a little more unscented, stick around for the rest of the show. Yeah, that's right. I can be as nasty as I want. We're on YouTube the first half. You got to watch your P's and Q's if you're a conservative. Anyways, for those of you guys in Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com to get the rest of this show, Steven Crowder's full show, which I'll be on Wednesday and Thursday morning of this week. And while you're there, get tickets to see me live. August 9th Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts. That's this Friday. The next night, August 10th, and this is barring weather, I don't know, August 10th

Gas South Theater in Duluth, Georgia. So hope to see you guys out there. Second half of the show, I'm gonna show you a clip from a 70s sitcom. Barney Miller, you guys, if you're my age or even a little younger, it was one of the best shows ever. There's a little dialogue on the show that was so far ahead of its time,

it'll give you chills. Also, Trump fuckin' verbally hammers our Georgia, our governor, Kemp. What's his first name? Brian. Diane? Diane? Brian Kemp. Yeah, Brian Kemp answers back in a tweet, but Trump gave him a real slap in the face.

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