The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Laying Down The Law | Nick Di Paolo Show #1683

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about Trump and JD Taking Care of the Border and more! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 2/20/2025 - Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK 2/21/2025 - Funny Bone Westport, St. Louis, MO 3/13/2025 - Hyena’s, Albuquerque, NM 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS - https://bio.site/nickdipaolo

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Ontario I'm gonna be, I just don't give a fuck. Hello. Um, I got nothing. Good seeing you guys. Hope you had a great weekend. See you tomorrow. Folks, how are you? Welcome to the show on a Monday.

Yes, it's been a while. Haven't seen you since Tuesday. Those were snow days, by the way. Little different down here. It only snows about once every 10 years. Like, it gets this cold or whatever the hell. And so they don't have plows and trucks and salt and all that shit because it's not worth it.

And so they don't know how to plow. They don't plow the streets and shit. And it was so funny. Just like two, three inches. But it froze at night. And even the mayor's like, even if you're from the north, he actually put this statement on. And you know how to drive in the snow.

Don't do it because there are people out there who don't. And black ice everywhere. And we have this app. My wife has this app that has to do with anything in Savannah. And it was so funny. This street is closed because of an accident. This highway is closed because of four accidents. Never left my house.

And then I'm out there yesterday, two days ago, with a fucking windshield and I go what the fuck? I go, I should, I was gonna make a clip, have my wife, you know, God forbid I did some of the personal stuff that people love. Even Tom, he's like you got to put shit out there where you're, you know, and I'm like oh shut up. What am I, a 14 year old girl, girl? I'm going to live on the internet. Then he sends me a picture of his two daughters in football shirts with their back to me. One of them's OJ, Semson, and the other one's an Ann Betts. He puts father of the year, which I thought was fucking hilarious. Anyway, yeah, so this is, this is, we had a snow week,

believe it or not. Very, very fucking weird to live in a place where you don't see snow for five years. And it was legit cold, nasty, whatever the fuck. I froze my hands off and I'm like, when's the last time I did this? Because when I lived in New York, when I lived in the suburbs of New York, we had a two car garage. So I don't know when the fuck's the last time I did that. Anyways, I'm just doing a weekend recap. NFL, goddamn Buffalo,

the Chiefs have so many weapons, and I don't know. And then the Redskins, I kind of, Eagles aren't that good, okay? They're good. Matter of fact, I thought halfway through the season or I said, oh, they're gonna, they might win the Super Bowl. But after watching the goddamn Chiefs, because Buffalo is a good team, and the Chiefs have so many goddamn weapons, these receivers, it's like eight different guys who can run a 4-2-40. And Mahomes, of course, and Andy Reid is just an offensive genius. So if I, I don't know what the line is but if I and I might make a wager and again I was I was riding

the Eagles bandwagon for a lot of the year and you know they show what they destroyed a good Washington team but I still I would be hard to bet against Kansas City and people are all moaning and about you know yeah the referees they did the same thing when the Patriots were on a run all the refs the Patriots cheat but but but but when you're a great team a lot of those calls do go your way whatever I think I don't know I just I hate to say it but it that she it might be a three-peat still never be the Patriots now that's a fucking dynasty show me seven rings on somebody other than Liberace anyways what else odd couple my favorite sitcom of all time is all in the family I used to say then maybe mash

or cheat no the odd couple for you guys my age you know exactly sitcom of all time is All in the Family. I used to say then maybe MASH or Cheat, no, The Odd Couple. For you guys my age you know exactly. Darren, I just started watching them and it was like a marathon. I couldn't stop watching. The writing is so goddamn funny. Tony Randall and fucking Jack Klugman have the best chemistry of... Tony Randall is the funniest fucking half of fruitcake ever and just the writing it's all Jewish guys in the credits written by you know Lowell Gantz Paul Bloom just dry New York Jewish smart write which I loved it attracted me when I was a kid I like that type of shit you wouldn't know that because I

saw more like Kinnison or some other psycho on stage. But I like all kinds of comedy and that fucking show had me crying. The word choices. Anyways, you don't want to hear that. Portobello mushrooms. Here's a segue for you. Jew writers don't like tiny mushrooms. I bought Portobello mushrooms and I always heard grill them, grill them, which I did.

But you know I got this indoor grill. I put two portobello mushrooms on, marinated them a little bit in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. It was like eating a steak. It was juicy with almost the texture of a steak. So try that if you're Jewish. What? I don't know.

Balls on this prick. What did I say? Fuck off. Let's get to it, huh? What a weekend. We haven I say? Fuck off. Let's get to it, huh? What a weekend. We haven't seen you in forever. Oh, by the way, a lot of people comment, anytime I do put something up with a little bit of personal background, and my wife's been saying, you got to do more, you know, whatever.

They want to know more about you. My manager always said, well, we're going to air what we call it up close and personal with me. Dallas will be interviewing me. And we're going to show that on Wednesday. It will be the whole show and whatever. I had choice of some guests, but I didn't feel like getting serious. I don't know.

What else did I want to tell him? Let's get to it. Oh, by the way, the other thing is I'll be on Crowder Wednesday and Thursday morning, flying to Dallas tomorrow after the show. You know how it works. I don't like icy wings, especially down there, down here. They don't know how to drive it. I don't know how to fly in it. Now I'm really nervous. Raddatz reeducation. You know Martha Raddatz had dried a bag of cheese? Tom Homan, Trump border czar, hands Martha Raddatz her head on a national TV about how deportation works. It's like watching a child ask a parent why she can't

have a cookie before dinner. That was sort of the vibe I got from this. Let's just take a tone, the reaction by her, and I'll analyze it after, just watch, this is great. I wanna go back to those military flights going south. As you said, we have never seen that before. Is that going to be a constant commitment from the U.S. military every single day to take deportees out?

Yes. So is this what we will see every single day? What do I, speak Spanish? Yes. See. Ending in what the President has promised is millions and millions being deported. Yes. But you see the numbers steadily increase. The number of arrests nationwide. Not only that, Martha. Right now it's contrary to public safety threats, national security threats. That's a smaller population. So we're going to do this on priority base, as President Trump's promised, but as that aperture opens,

there will be more arrests nationwide. When you talk about the aperture opening... Oh, she's nervous. ...the estimates of perhaps those who have been convicted or arrested in the past 700,000 to over a million. So after you do that, then you go after everybody who is there illegally. If you're in a country illegally, you're on the tape. Because it's not OK to violate the law in this country.

Every time you enter this country illegally, you violated a crime under Title 8, United States Code 1325. It's a crime. So if you're in a country illegally, you got a problem. And that's why I'm hoping those who are in the country illegally who have not been ordered removed by the federal judge should leave. I was waiting for him to go, could I make it any fucking clearer, you hag?

Do you see her reaction? And that's a reaction to the demo the Democrat politicians have they've never seen leadership in action they used to whack in it and picking up their paychecks and and promising people shit that never happens I'm talking the Bidens of the world and and even the Obamas and shit that's all they do they do. They fucking yap. She couldn't believe. She couldn't believe. Every day?

No, we're going to wait. Every six months we'll do it so we won't hurt anybody's feelings. He's like, yeah, yeah. You're in the country illegally. You got a problem. My concierge, Tom, said, how many rapists? You got a problem with that, Martha?

What a stupid. Do you see the reaction? And like I said, Democrat politicians, they were whining today about something that Trump's doing. Oh, he fired a bunch of general inspectors. Those are lawyers that represent certain agencies. And it's not normal to unload a bunch of them and put you up here.

And they're going, he didn't give us a 30-day notice. What are you, a fucking working at Target? What are you, a cashier? They can't believe. They've never seen government in action actually helping people. Are you going to, do you really every day, a whole bunch of them? You know what I'm saying?

Yes. Huh? Yes. Yes. Love, Homer. Yes. a whole bunch of them you know huh yes yes love homie yes we've got an aperture what's what's that I don't know it's an aperture look it up it's like a rupture only it's an aperture anyhow just flabbergasted. She couldn't comprehend law and order. It's insane. And they haven't changed their tone, have they? The Sunday morning shows, whatever, whatever, MSNBC, NBC, they haven't changed their tone.

They don't get that Trump was handed a mandate by zillions of people. Even people around the world read a headline today that the UK is getting more to love Trump's, they're actually watching Trump and what he's doing. They try to fuck with the, Trump tried to send back a couple of plan loads of illegals from Colombia and their presidents and we're not taking them back First of all, it's not dignified with you sent them back on these planes Trump goes yeah, okay. Well, I'm gonna slap it at 25 percent tariff on all your shit coming in here. Oh AOC was on their saying how stupid it was next thing before

AOC was on there puts a little out, saying how stupid Trump is for doing this, it's going to hurt us in the end. 10 minutes later, the Colombian president's like, you know what, he's got a point. We'll send them back anywhere we want. We'll put them on a Piper Cub, two at a time. Motherfuckers. God, is this great? Boy, is this great? Let's stay on it. This is beautiful. Trump's been in office. What seriously a week ten days he's already done more than the last three presidents including Bush and I didn't know you could do this and people ask the same question. I am it was this easy which tells you what? The last administration had didn't want to do any of this.

And if you push back against this shit, like getting rapist, child rapist off the street, you look like a fucking idiot. And it doesn't have to be like Tom Homan said, you don't have to be a criminal. Just being here illegally makes you a criminal. Let that marinate. Ay, ay, ay.

Undercover charge. Oh, that was a good one. The Trende Agua and all these other Venezuelan illegals, Ay, ay, ay, undercover charge. Oh, that was a good one. The Trende Agua and all these other Venezuelan illegals, they had a little, they opened the bar, and I've read about this before, they opened like a bar in a neighborhood, because they're from a land of no law and order. You don't need permits. We're trying to get there.

We don't want it this bad. I see what the but they open a fucking nightclub. That's brilliant. You're in the country illegally. We can get you all at once. All the feds said was hey, it's it's a seniorita night. 4,000 horny Venezuelan show up. DEA and Denver law enforcement conducted an early morning operation in Colorado on Sunday targeting drug traffickers and members of the Tren de Aragua gang. Approximately 50 illegal aliens were taken into custody while they were dancing and swilling margaritas. This is a quick little, but what's funny is they're in shorts and it's cold out and check

this out. This is them at the nightclub. Who sent you here? Tom. Yeah, so I guess it's over there. You gotta turn in your liquor license. I mean, you know what I'm saying? This shit flies in third world countries. Sorry. Welcome to the United States.

The early morning raid targeted what federal authorities deemed a makeshift nightclub in Adams County. Oh, god. I think the name that a club gave away was called illegals. Deemed a makeshift nightclub in Adams County that was invite only. What was it? B-Y-O-K, bring your own knife. The DEA said dozens connected to the Trendyagva gang were there. Drugs,

weapons and cash were seized at Adams. Well, that's not unusual. You can find that in most Manhattan bars in Brooklyn and shit. Nearly 50 illegal aliens were taken into custody. Another post included video of the bus used to take the nearly 50 illegal immigrants away from the scene. I hope that was dignified enough. Should have got them all on Uber. The DEA said many of those detained are connected with TDA gang from Venezuela but did not specify the breakdown. Since Trump took office, ladies and gentlemen, ICE raids have been reported in Colorado, New York City, Buffalo, New York, Boston, California, and Minnesota.

They're just getting started. And hundreds of illegal immigrants have been detained. And of course the Democrats will be pushing back at their drop of a hat. They have to be shitting their pants. The White House said deportation flights have also begun. Trump said Sunday night that the US would launch retaliatory measures against Colombia,

I mentioned earlier, for refusing two deportation planes. Yeah, Trump said to the president, we're shipping them back and then and then the Columbia president, no, we're not we're not gonna take them and then Trump said don't give me that smart-ass shit. You ain't playing. It's like Tony Montana, remember? In Scarface when they count the money with the money machines and they have the undercover cops in there and all of a sudden they pull out their guns To unmet down and goes you ain't kidding

I got a good lawyer. I got such a good lawyer. He's such a good lawyer You'll be in Alaska by tomorrow We have a video of a raid we have a couple of videos of raids and how they go down and Trump is not playing. Here's the first one. Yeah, hello? This is an officer with eyes doing a routine check. Well I'm an American citizen. Well we have questions that will determine that answer

Okay, how many points are scored in a football game? Six See if you want to make America great again. Who's the best female artist Taylor Swift Taylor Swift? All right last question. Can you say Walmart? question can you say Walmart sir can you say yes yes I know I know Walmart I don't know who did that it makes me love Latinos because that guy was a Latino and Like I said the good ones the ones that I hear legally and respect our law. You're not gonna find better people And yes, there's fucking criminals. There's criminals everywhere, but I mean that guy participated in that Right and it was this is the way to it. It's not music. I've said this on my show for ten years It's not music that's gonna bring us it's comedy when you can laugh at your fucking selves and we can

joke about each other you should be able to call your fucking best friend the n-word now if he's black I'm serious you know jokingly not in the fucking if we had actual progress and he could call you whatever the fully can call you whatever the fuck but I'm just saying that's when we will know everything's all right and you'll see commercials on TV with five white guys and not a Asian and black couple forced in because of all that horse shit. Don't take the N-word thing right.

You know what I'm saying, friendly. Like I do my, white people do it all the time. Yo, yo, what's up my bro? That was my mom, by the way, called her. Yo what up, bitch. And here's another one, this is how, as you see it says trying to blend in. So Trump won't deport you, here's a construction worker. I'm not the Latino dude.

I didn't even bother to look to who did these. These are called memes, I believe. Whatever. And, you know, I don't use them on the show, a lot of people probably already see. But that made me laugh so, both of those made me laugh so goddamn hard, especially that second one. We can have fun with this shit, folks.

They want it too. You understand, black guy, young black guys, young Hispanic guys who are here legally, who do. You see it getting up to go to work and all the shit I've had done in my house is, you know. Nick, did you check to see if they were legal? I can't find the place. I said, say Walmart, get out of here.

Anyways, I thought that was really, really funny. Hey boys and girls, if you like me and you like my stand up, you're one of 11 people. Good night. Go to nickdip.com and click on the tour date button. February 20th, Brick Town Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The very next night, the 21st of February, Funny Bone, St. Louis, Missouri. And then March 13th, Hyena's, I haven't, I don't think I've ever done comedy Albuquerque, New Mexico Cross that state off and in the 25th Cajos music hall Cajos, New York haven't been there forever

May 15th and 16th is zanies one of my Chicago one of my favorite cities if not my favorite to do comedy Rosemont, Illinois May 15th and 16th. I can't believe we're talking about fucking May already. I'll be dead in 10 minutes. And by the way, since I mentioned May, that'll be during baseball of Red Sox. If you don't fucking sign Bregman, you're not serious. You're not serious. That was my thought. And then I'm reading comments. One guy said the same thing. They don't sign Bregman. I'm not watching You need a third baseman Devers is shaky defensively

One of the best hitters ever but Bregman is a third baseman. It was actually a gold glove last year for the first time What's he known for hitting home runs in the playoffs? What else is he known for? You should see his slash numbers at Fenway Park. In 21 games, he has like seven or eight homers against the Red Sox, $22. It couldn't be a better fit. So what are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? I guess Devers has a clause, something

about him being in the field, whatever. Well, then you talk him out of it do one for the team. He'll He's not a great DH Anyways, I love Bregman. I used to watch the Astros and go why can't we have a guy like that? And yes, he's a little older now. So what and he's looking for big money. He fucking earned it and he owns Fenway Park So what and he's looking for big money. He fucking earned it and he owns Fenway Park Anyhow, you guys don't care neither do I why'd I bring it up? I don't fucking give a shit What oh You see I just I'm an artist. I don't care about merch

Dallas did his job. I would have skipped right over this Do you guys want to support the show and get some merch we have Nick DiPaolo lawnmowers now sit down and push and we have the of course the DiPaolo fribulators grab a hat hoodie mug t-shirt baseball Andy my wife wears all the shit I go where's mine I'm still I'm like I'm like fucking Maury when he goes to the Christmas party and he's like to fucking Jimmy Conway Everybody's wearing new shit, he's there with his wife They're all wearing new shit, I'm wearing the same old fucking shit Maury's wigs don't come off, even when wet So yeah, go to nickdip.com and buy something

so I can feed my 12 kittens If you're watching the free version of the show you can watch full episodes of my show. Also, Lotto with Crowder and all exclusive Rumble content, ad free with one subscription. Click the link in the description. Then click the Rumble premium button. Click the red premium button below

and enter promo code Mug Club, one word, to get $10 off an annual subscription. And I'm telling you, you laugh. laugh crowd has got a ton of fucking dough he shoots scenes that would I don't NBC couldn't afford got funny guy Josh Feistine who's a does a great characters and writes a lot of the shit and my boy Johnny he's got a whole thing over there it's like walking into an NBC studio do a sitcom whatever Plus it's informative and he backs all the shit up He always gives a fucking link that you can prove. He's not lying other not like me. I just go believe it you fucking assholes

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