The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Outworking Joe | Nick Di Paolo Show #437

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

Non-stop gaffs hit Biden while Trump's non-stop tour hits swing states. Police release new info on the Biden bus incident. Rest in Peace James Bond....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Oh, yeah. Here we are again on a Monday. Not any Monday. The Monday before the big election. Election Eve. Let's make it a national holiday and make it you have to have your votes in by whatever.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Can we do that? Isn't that the easy way to go? So people won't string shit out? Is there any reason not to do it that way? Oh, that's right. The left can't steal shit. Oh, Nick, that's horrible. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:01:11 How was your Halloween, everybody? I had a great time sitting on my front porch, scaring little black kids. I'm telling you, they weren't scared of the Pennywise mask. But when they saw this white guy, they were like, what? No, it is great. Let me tell you something. People are different down here. I'm saying, I had to tell kids, take some more candy.
Starting point is 00:01:33 They would take one politely. And I said, what are you doing, man? You guys are known for hypertension. Grab some of them Snickers. But the parents are so nice. It's great. It's great to see. I'm telling you. It's just, that is one of my favorite nights of the year. Again, I had a Mountain Dew with some little Tito's in it, like, you know, two mason jars full just to take the edge off. And, oh, goodness gracious, I had a ball. Yeah, so it was a good weekend. Again, the COVID thing slowed it down a little bit. But Georgia don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:02:17 Remember last year I asked the lady, why do you, somebody, who asked? Was it my wife? Why do you, yeah, I think it was my wife that asked the lady, this black lady uh somebody asked i don't know who the fuck it was maybe it was rich wood i don't know somebody was working with the show why you go to the white neighborhoods but she goes it's like uh it's the same thing you know how white people go to uh the black neighborhoods to get the good drugs how can't you fucking love it uh anyways all right let's get to it shall we oh in the n-word segment tonight uh antifa rise of the black flag uh apparently they have a uh a movie out why does it say and oh i see rise of the black flags you see now when's the last time you heard that
Starting point is 00:03:13 sounds like the isis motto doesn't it isis is actually nice compared to these garbage fucks at least isis has a plan when they tear something down, they want to replace it with something. Antifa has apparently a movie out. Yeah, it's called Rise of the Black Flags. It's a documentary. And the hour film, which provides a true history of the anti-government extremist group's a century of violence, was produced by National Pulse editor-in-chief Raheem Kassam. Alongside, it says Jack Puseybek, who is actually a conservative, but I think he might have been a lefty at one time, but he's the one who reports on Antifa all the time. He infiltrates them.
Starting point is 00:04:05 So he's in the movie. And other right-wing journalists and activists, I apologize, Jack, if you were never a lefty. I thought I might have read that, but whatever. He infiltrates these people all the time. But they're featured in the film. But this is made by Antifa, who really thinks they have a chance if anything goes down. It's so funny. a chance if anything goes down. It's so funny. Focusing on the group which has caused a nationwide rioting violence, which is expected to resurge following election night. Oh, is it? Yeah. Only
Starting point is 00:04:37 if Trump wins. If Biden wins, the right will just get up and go to work like they always do. But see, the jerk offs, the fascists, it's the irony here so thick that they consider themselves anti-fascist. But if Trump wins, they're going to fucking cause havoc and social unrest. It comes from the City Journalism Network, the film which undermines the Democrats in mainstream media's depiction of the group as just an idea has already been censored by YouTube and Vimeo. Wow. You fuckers. Let's take a look at the trailer. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:05:37 If Trump gets re-elected, the city burns, the guy says. I felt like I had no choice. He's dead. So yeah, kill him. Kill the Nazis. Kill the Nazis. Ah! Mao! Mao! And so Mao!
Starting point is 00:05:55 Mao! Yeah, it ain't gonna happen on Trump's watch, bitch. International Revolutionary People's Revolutionary Forces were to defend social revolution around the world. We gotta fight it out. We're gonna revamp this country in the streets. Liberals get the f***ing wall first. It's the only thing I agree with.
Starting point is 00:06:27 You wanna go to war? Come on. You want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony Cunha. Yeah? You want to go to war? Come on. You want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony Cunha. Did you hear that? Liberals get the wall first. What have I been saying on this show forever? You people out there, you little white entitled jerk offs. Although they're part of Antifa.
Starting point is 00:06:49 What are you going to kill each other, put each other against the wall? But see, they're not liberals. They're anarchists and shit. But, you know, maybe they'll go out to Hollywood, knock on Deborah Messing's door and Bill Maher and Patton Oswald and Sarah Silverman. You'll get it first, you douchebags. They probably helped funding this movie. Filthy, rotten suckers of Satan's peep. These are some of the geniuses,
Starting point is 00:07:12 just a handful that make up Antipa. On the far right upper corner, you have Jack Dorsey. Right below him, in the lower right-hand corner, that's Julia Louise Dreyfuss, is it not? And right to her left, that's you know who, the bass player for fucking, you know who, Chili Peppers. What's his name? Flea.
Starting point is 00:07:38 That's a healthy flea. Above him is just a half a fag. And to his left is Sally Struthers. Above him is just a half a fag. And to his left is Sally Struthers. Below Sally Struthers, I don't know what that is. I can't even make, oh my God. It's got an Eddie Munster hairdo and fucking goth lipstick. I don't know if it's a guy or a girl.
Starting point is 00:08:00 And that's just what they want. And to his left, the green haired, is that a guy or a girl? Prick or snatch? That should be a new thing on jeopardy cock or clit and in the upper left hand corner is just a what do they all have in common folks and again i think i'm the only one that ever says this their beef is not with this country or capitalism their beef is with their maker that that they don't believe in in the first place. See those jackoffs? They never fit in. They're fucking the dregs of society.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Human flotsam. I like that word. Where'd you get that? Well, Helter Skelter. The movie in the 70s. Vincent Bogosi told Charlie, no, you didn't do anything. You played jailhouse games with human flotsam. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Here's a story of a fucking douchebag who had no friends when he was in K through 12. Anyways, how about our president who's going to stamp these cocksuckers out? But can I just say one more thing? Again, this is we already ended the segment. But I know cops, and I told you about my buddy who went undercover, so he knows what, the right hasn't hit back yet. And we don't want to, we don't want that.
Starting point is 00:09:16 But my God, my God, Antifa, I feel, actually feel bad for you, you know? I think we can bet on our military nobody you know can you imagine first of all even the national guard would take six minutes to clean that up but do you understand if the so-called white supremacists we've been hearing about for the last fucking four years when they when they rear their ugly head as my cop buddy said i go well somebody has to stand up he goes you don't want to see it believe i go what's going to happen he goes well they'll be they'll be like an antifa rally in portland
Starting point is 00:09:52 like you see you know hundreds of people on the street then you'll hear a big bang and people will scatter and there'll be body parts and shit that's how they play just to let you know antifa i'm trying to give you a heads up and and shit that and and they have drones that can drop shit to blow below a 10 story building. But, you know, you guys keep fucking you guys keep using your slingshots and throwing milkshakes and rocks and shit. But it doesn't matter because we have the greatest president in the history of this country. You know, I was always a Reagan fan, but this goddamn guy, I don't care what you think about Trump, folks.
Starting point is 00:10:27 If you hate him, you like him. Those people go, oh, his business, his daddy. No, he didn't. This guy's got a work ethic like I've never. I get exhausted watching him. I had to change the channel. I saw him at noontime speaking live at a rally, right? I'm going to bed last night, quarter of 12.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I switch over and it says live. He's still yapping somewhere. Five cities. at noontime speaking live at a rally, right? I'm going to bed last night, quarter of 12. I switch over and it says live. He's still yapping somewhere. Five cities in a day. Do you fucking understand he didn't have to do this? He's a multimillionaire at a minimum. That should be enough for you people to vote for him. He is an animal.
Starting point is 00:11:05 I can't imagine his work ethic when he was 40. Anyways, he's barnstorming the country. The last days until the election, hitting critical swing states important to his reelection because of the coronavirus pandemic. The president is delivering campaign speeches outdoors in locations across the country. And you'd think, well, it's freezing all over the country. Yeah, well, that didn't stop people from coming out.
Starting point is 00:11:29 It is two days until, well, it's one day until the election. And here he is in Michigan talking about the economy yesterday. Since then, we've been doing things like nobody's ever done. Cut your taxes, cut your regulations, and ensure that more products are proudly stamped with those beautiful words, that beautiful phrase, made in the USA. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Starting point is 00:12:03 Thank you very much. Thank you. Like we're talking about his country. Thank you. Like we're talking about his country. We are. Thank you. Thank you very much. USA. Will you say USA or USR?
Starting point is 00:12:14 I thought I heard an R there, but it's windy out here. Oh, my fucking throat is bleeding inside. And then I don't even know where he is. This is from the same rally or whatever. My fucking throat is bleeding inside. And then I don't even know where he is. Might be. This is from the same, the same rally or whatever. He started to talk about energy and was it energy?
Starting point is 00:12:32 Yeah. There you go. You have to power our great factories. We have to power our great, these plants, these great plants and factories, and you can't do it that way. Maybe someday,
Starting point is 00:12:44 but right now in solar, I like solar. It's extremely expensive. And it doesn't have near that way maybe someday, but right now in solar I like solar it's extremely expensive And it doesn't have near the power that you need for why do you like it about now? And you know when we do what they want us to do Yeah, but China doesn't do it and Russia doesn't do it and India doesn't do it. We will be in such a competitive disadvantage We might as well just fold up the tent. We have the number one economy in the world right now by far. And it's in the shitter and we're still winning. And we're not losing it on my watch, I can tell you that.
Starting point is 00:13:12 You tell them, Donnie. Right here from the Queens area, right in front of my eye. Manhattan developer. But it's true. You have a look at China's air? It's like cream cheese. They fucking, they've been wearing masks for 50 years over there going to work. And then India, what are you, dog styling me? That place, India. No offense, because I love the Indian people, but Jesus, I haven't seen a clip yet where I go, I want to go over there. That's my dream, to get
Starting point is 00:13:40 the shits behind a housing project where fucking cable wires and phone wires are running through a window and there's monkeys running around you. Nick, that's not all of India, about 98% of it. But I'm just saying, they have no regulations either. And there's only a zillion people between there, you know, and then, you know, between them and China. Come on. And my other theory about India and the climate, I blame them because they don't eat cows and apparently cow farts cause a lot of this shit so there's a billion cows over there try a burger and save the fucking earth will you if you want to believe in that shit anyways uh trump actually took my idea i never i don't know if i mentioned it on the show but i remember telling my wife you ought to show he should show clips at the fucking rallies and they did they didn't hear me but um you know they're not like adam fucking
Starting point is 00:14:30 carola who i don't blame i blame one of his fucking uh fans for stealing my title and yes i'm still talking about it fucking irks me every time i see him um anyways so they have a screen up at this rally and trump shows up Biden fucking up. What's new country we're going to be four more years of Georgia. We're going to find ourselves in a position where if Trump gets elected, we're going to be, we're going to be in a different world. Why can't I think it's a right for people that bad to care? Why folks, we got a lot of work to do.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I don't need you to get me elected. I need you once I'm elected. I'll lead an effective strategy to mobilize true international pressure. All right. All right. All right. I felt like, you know, that felt like watching that clip of, who was that, Jim Carrey? I felt like when I'm doing a comedy club, using the improvs, the real corporate ones.
Starting point is 00:15:35 They have a screen come down and show you clips of comics who are coming after you. You have to sit through that horse shit. So, yeah, Trump's taking a page out of the funny bones marketing, apparently. Anyways, but I think that's fucking great. And can you imagine they really think he's Joe Biden? Is that
Starting point is 00:15:56 it for Biden clips? Oh, God. Let's go back to the president. He's telling the people what he will protect for us. The right to life, religious liberty, free speech, and the right to keep and bear arms. We will maintain America's unrivaled military might, and we will ensure peace through strength. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Do you want to go to war? No. Do you want to go to war? No, we don't. Okay. If you go to war with us, I built up the military. It's huge. So, yeah, the people, I mean, this guy was at five different rallies yesterday.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I don't understand. I do two sets in a night and I want to take a month off. Then the fucking genius came out of his mouse hole, and this lefties, Democrats, you people voting, this is who you think can run the country. Go ahead. He turned his back on you. I promise you I will never do that.
Starting point is 00:17:02 I promise you I will never do that. Go from 35,000 screaming people to somebody falling asleep on their horn in the car. Fucking shit bag. We got more gaps, don't we? Here he is. Or is that it? Brock and I think it's a right for people that bad at healthcare. What? I'll need an effective strategy to mobilize true international
Starting point is 00:17:37 pressure. What the fuck did he just say? Is that enough? Is that all of them? Get another one? I never believed it would be this much in jeopardy. We launched our campaign over on the Oval back in May 2019. But you know what I said then?
Starting point is 00:18:03 We've been through a lot since then. You, my friend. You weren't bright when you had your brain. Now your brain is gone. Oh my God. Oh my aching stem. I think they would have had a better... Nah, I guess they did it right. They put the moderate
Starting point is 00:18:24 guy up there. Oh, God, help us. God, help us. Anyways, senior campaign advisor Jason Miller, you know, he's the campaign advisor for Trump, predicted that President Trump will sweep the Sunbelt states, propelling him to an electoral college of victory in Tuesday's election. ABC News anchor the midget George Stephanopoulos asked Miller if Trump would have to win the southern states that he won in 2016. Arizona, since one's at a southern state, Georgia, Florida, Texas, and North Carolina to secure re-election.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I said I believe that we're going to win all of them, is what Miller said. There are multiple pathways, Miller said on this week. Here is him on with George Stephanopoulos. Well, we feel very good. We think that President Trump is going to hold all of the Sunbelt states that he won previously. And as you look to the upper Midwest, Joe Biden has to stop President Trump in four out of four states, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota. If President Trump wins just one of those, in three of the four he won last time, he will be a reelected president. There's a really important point here, George, that I want to make, is that the entire electorate has shifted. The coalitions are different this go around. The fact that Joe Biden had to go back to Minnesota, a state that
Starting point is 00:19:53 Republicans haven't won since 1972. He had to go back because he left his wallet and his fucking shoes. Go ahead. The other day shows how they're worried about state shifting. President Trump is going to get well over 10% of the black vote. I think he'll get over 20% of African American men. More than that. President Trump will probably get 40% of the Latino vote. The entire demographic shift within these parties, it's a different world now, George. And that's why we're trying to turn out our supporters.
Starting point is 00:20:20 We feel good about it. And one final thing, George. Yes. If you speak with many smart Democrats, they believe that President Trump will be ahead on election night, probably getting 280 electorals, somewhere in that range. And then they're going to try to steal it back after the election. We believe that we will be over 290 electoral votes on election night. So no matter what they try to do, what kind of hijinks or lawsuits or whatever kind of nonsense they try to pull off, we're still going to have enough electoral votes to get President Trump reelected. So basically, it's a base.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Are you serious? George stepping off. Are you serious? That guy sound like you knew what he was talking about. I know he's a Trump campaign advisor, but my God, he thinks we're going to fucking boot these MFers right off the map. This year, we're going to grab boot these MFers right off the map, huh? This year we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. Welcome to the Wacky Zoo Show. I'm Flippin' the Dipper, my sidekick Bubba Shiganox. Anyways, that guy sounded very confident. And like, you know what he was talking about.
Starting point is 00:21:27 And then I switch over to Drudge and read the headlines. Trump has a 5% chance of winning. All these fucking, just, Drudge, goddamn you. I'm going to find out what happened. You're the only fruitcake I like. We have a Patreon question. We got a Patreon question. We got a Patreon question. Look at Jason right on top of it today.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Dave Venditti, Pacifica, California. Nick, since you're in the peach state now, please explain how all the mainstream media is saying Georgia is in play for the Dems. I always thought it was a red state. That is such a good question, Dave. And I got one, two words for you. They're lying they are lying but you know what it's a great question i don't understand that either everywhere i go around here i don't see any biden shit you know although i do i see a lot of black
Starting point is 00:22:21 people in this town wearing their masks which that ain't a good sign i said also a lot of black people in this town wearing their masks, which that ain't a good sign. I saw also a lot of lesbians when I voted. I don't know. That wasn't a good sign either. But that's not true, though. Some of them, they're not single issue voters. It's not all about the dildo and strap on. Sometimes they like a fucking low taxes. But it's a great question, Dave. Same with Texas. They're saying Texas is a toss-up. I don't believe that. I don't. And again, I'm going to ask this question to you people. Other than the fake polls that you've been reading about, what other indicators show that there's excitement for Biden? Is it the 42 cars beeping the horn that he's speaking to you're gonna tell me those 30,000
Starting point is 00:23:06 people rallied at trump said that's not an indicator i i you know again and then i will and this is what happens to me then i go back to my illuminati books and it's like it's already written nick relax this is all a script it's all a script but uh dave i say georgia is a red state still they were held trick-or-treating and nobody slowed down you know i mean i went into an operating room right in georgia i walked right in somebody's been operated nobody had masks on not even the surgeons and the nurses i couldn't believe it they don't give a fuck we'll find out though won't we dave good question thank you my friend ah did you see this again this is what it's come down to talk about a divided nation but
Starting point is 00:23:57 this is kind of a funny little incident uh the biden harris the Biden-Harris bus. They have a bus. They were going through Texas, going to some rallies and shit, and they got surrounded by a caravan of Trump supporters. What was it, San Marco, Texas, I believe? The FBI's investigating what was called the Trump train incident from Friday
Starting point is 00:24:23 in which a Biden campaign bus was surrounded by a dozen pickup trucks driven by Trump supporters as it traveled down a Texas interstate. Look like a scene out of Roadhouse. The San Marcos Police Department said it is researched. The crash wasn't really a crash. They traded paint, as we like to say down here in Georgia. really a crash they traded paint as we like to say down here in georgia uh they researched the crash and watched the online but it said uh uh in quotes at fall vehicle may be the biden harris uh staffer's car which was the white suv i believe while the victim appears to be the black trump pickup truck um calls to the driver of the white white SUV have gone unanswered. Well, here's a little idea. Who's investigating? FBI? Well, FBI, you know, I think these cars have license plates, right? You look up the number and you go to the fucking house.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Oh, you're too busy snooping on Trump. oh you're too busy snooping on trump anyways yeah so the those calls have gone answered and the san marco police department has not been contacted by the driver of the black truck since smpd has not spoken to either driver at this time additional investigation oh for christ's sake what is this the kennedy assassination will be required to fully ascertain who was at fault the highway confrontation led the Biden campaign and state Democrats to cancel multiple Texas events in the battleground state who are you shitting you know why they were canceled he forgot his blood thinners he can't go out if it gets below 40.
Starting point is 00:26:06 He could die. That's hilarious. We could assassinate with COVID sneezes. I'm just saying. Anyways, the FBI's involvement was confirmed to the Tribune by law enforcement sources, the paper said. Let's take a look at the incident. I'll do a play-by-play, okay? Over on the right, see the bus and see the white little SUV drifting into the middle lane.
Starting point is 00:26:35 See, they're straddling two lanes right there. Now, here comes a black pickup truck on the right, and that's a Trump supporter. He's pulling up into that open. Now, the white guy SUV, white guy, white car drifts back into this guy. They actually trade paint. I was too lazy to dig up that one, but they actually bump. Look, look at, okay, who's at fault? I see the black truck.
Starting point is 00:27:02 I'm not trying to be biased here because I've had people drift into my lane, right? See the Trump black truck? He's in the right lane. And the bus itself is straddling the white line. And that car drifted over and they made contact, actually. So how could you think it was, you know, the black, the guy in the black truck's fault? Unless you're a fucking left wing Comstain. You know who said that? Allen West.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Left wing Comstain. You know who said that? Allen West. Rather than engage in productive conversation about the drastically different visions that Joe Biden and Donald Trump have for our country, Trump supporters in Texas, listen to this, instead decided to put our staff, surrogate supporters, and others in harm's way. The Biden campaign Texas spokesperson told the uh told the paper you just by that we put everybody in oh my god how about not hiring a 96 year old asian guy to drive the staffer car you mongolide alan west you know you know Colonel Allen West?
Starting point is 00:28:07 He's got all those medals on his chest, very well-spoken, articulate. He's on Fox a lot. Allen West, the spokesperson for the Texas GOP, dismissed questions from the paper as more fake news and propaganda in a statement that concluded, and I quote, Prepare to lose. Stop bothering me, the Tribune reported. I love L.A. West.
Starting point is 00:28:30 You're a loser. You tell him. You'll always be a loser. Stop. He's the black Frank Rizzo. And I don't see him a lot on Fox. And what happened to our sheriff that we used to show all the time from Milwaukee, Sheriff Clark?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Remember him, the black guy with the cowboy hat, real right winger? What did he, did he have the balls to delve into a racial story on Fox? And by the way, Fox is starting to get contaminated with a little bit of leftist shit. I don't know if you notice. I'm worried. Here's my theory on that. Shepard Smith was a fucking mole that they snuck into Fox News years ago. Now he's leaking over at CNBC.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Hey, guys, we got a big week coming up. And I do. I don't like working seven days, but sometimes you have to be an adult. First of all, I'll be on Anthony Comey's show tomorrow night, I think at 8 p.m doing election night coverage here's my boy uh we're still figuring out details so i'll either do my regular show at five and then join him or join him at 8 p.m and then join him at eight and maybe do my own show at starting at nine instead of five either way we'll keep you up to date. We'll keep you posted tomorrow through social media, e-blast, et cetera. Next, I've got a big announcement
Starting point is 00:29:51 I'll be making on Wednesday's show for my fans who live in places like Canada, Australia, the UK, Ireland, Spain, even some more remote places, or rural parts of this country, be sure to tune in tomorrow. Is it tomorrow that I'm announcing it, Jay? I mean Wednesday, excuse me.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Tune in Wednesday, and I'll let you know what it is. We call that a cock tease in the whorehouse. Nick, don't burp and fart into the microphone. Yes, daddy. Thursday, I'm going to be interviewing my old pal Artie Lang on the show. And then this weekend, I'll be, if that's not enough, I'll be at the Comedy Club of Kansas City on Friday night and Saturday night doing four shows. My November 19th show in Raleigh, North Carolina,
Starting point is 00:30:46 has been rescheduled for April 9th, 2021, because North Carolina has live restrictions as far as live performances due to the COVID. I'll still be in Vegas that weekend, though. You can't stop me, motherfuckers. Friday and Saturday, November 20th and 21st at the Plaza Hotel and Casino. Get your tickets at nickdip.com.
Starting point is 00:31:09 So it's going to be a big week. You don't need to remember all this, by the way. Just hit the notification bell on YouTube and tune in every day. That's the easiest way to do that. I am San Francisco. What? Baby, I'll be there to shake your hand. Maybe I'll be
Starting point is 00:31:35 there to share the land that will be given away when we all live together now. Talking about together now. Can you imagine? They believe that shit. That's a nice communist song by one of my favorite bands the guess who maybe i'll let it shake your hand anyways let's get to it um what a sad world we're living in thanks to leftist fascist antifa anarchist uh dumb motherfuckers useless idiots people who've been brainwashed by left-wing ideology and propaganda for the
Starting point is 00:32:06 last 40 years in this country, their parents, then them, then their kids, just stupid motherfuckers. I have to bite my tongue every time I'm at a cookout or I go to my sister's house and there's certain people who just sit there and pretend they're above the fray. And I just want to go, you know, pass the onion dip before I blind you. But what am I talking about? I mean, this is the United States of America, 2020, right? Election coming up. This is where we are.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Thanks to you cocksuckers in the mainstream media, and I mean it, your propaganda for years that created this bubbling want for socialism, communism, anarchists. Manhattan business owners, that would be New York City, including Chanel. Oh, not Chanel. And Levi's boarded up their storefronts with plywood on Friday afternoon as the NYPD warned of potential unrest as the presidential election draws near. Can you imagine in our country Humming
Starting point is 00:33:08 Humming This is what it's come to, huh? Because an election's coming up. And again, I'll say it again. Do you really think it's going to be the Trumpers that are going to break windows and shit? Even if they lose? You're wrong.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Why do you people on the left just admit it? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Who burns and loots Wendy's and Foot Lockers? Yeah, that's right. 60-year-old white Republicans. Your sister's tits are soft. That's how I like them. What? That was the dumbest thing I've ever said. The NYPD talked to many segments about the business community this week and advised the businesses in or in the area of location that have historically been protest targets.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Like Washington Square Park, which I walked through every night when I used to go to the Comedy Cellar. And all the black dudes thought I was a cop and they'd throw the fucking weed in the bushes. It was so fun. Of course, I wore an actual uniform. I stole from a thing I did on Grace Undefined. Put a badge on my fucking jean jacket um anyways but the one in the business is that you know the usual target washington square park in new york you guys see that a lot on tv it's the one with the it's got that opening from france that what's that thing the pilaf uh wasupa? Washington Square, Union Square, for example.
Starting point is 00:34:45 These are all down in lower Manhattan. And they gave these business owners advice telling them to take extra precaution. Well, thanks for being so specific, officer. Can you imagine? All because of an election. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. Danger, Kevin Garnett. Danger. Baby, I've already changed your land. Baby, I've already shared the land that they'll be giving away
Starting point is 00:35:20 if Joe Biden wins this fucking election. Nick, when did you learn to smoke? About three minutes ago, apparently. I got a lighter. It's down by my nutsack. Hold on, will you? There we go. Wrong end. Let's get on with it.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I don't fucking. Restaurants and businesses will have to move things like furniture. Oh, no. Clothing racks. Oh, no. Dumpsters and small planters from the sidewalks as part of the plan, the letter says, because those small planters, if you read about the French Revolution, those small planters came in handy.
Starting point is 00:35:56 People were also being blinded with wet bar rags, apparently. And a letter to the businesses and restaurants, nypd's manhattan south patrol borough which covers 59th street and below i used to park right near the uh said they would be uh implementing safety measures to prevent pedestrian overflow onto the city streets yeah you should try that every day it would help us uh when we there. Safety measures will be similar to those utilized during major planned events, such as New Year's Eve in New York, Macy's Fourth of July fireworks,
Starting point is 00:36:33 and Thanksgiving Day parade. Can you imagine? All because of an election. All because of an election. The police official added that the NYPD did not tell businesses to board up their stores, but left it to the discretion of the owners. Yes. And that's how it should be. But if Biden wins owners, he'll be telling you what to do. 365 days a year. That's the truth. On Friday, a post photographer saw a number of the lower Manhattan stores taking the step, covering their windows with wood to prevent damage.
Starting point is 00:37:09 There's a picture, if you don't believe me. Look, there's the wood, and there's the guys putting it up there. So don't tell me. Seriously, what a horrible time. Fucking Levi's. Black kids don't wear Levi's, do they? Jason, don't act like you didn't date three black girls in high school. What?
Starting point is 00:37:32 Trying to forget high school. Trying to forget high school. Yeah, good point. Ain't nobody breaking into the bookstore down in that motherfucker. They didn't pull wood up in front of that now, did they? And that goes for the fucking white jerk-offs that are in Antifa, too. I mean, they just,
Starting point is 00:37:48 they make me sick. Anyways, this show today brought to you by our friends at Canai. We brought you by Canai Pro Gear, okay? I've showed you this stuff. And you're going to need it,
Starting point is 00:38:02 apparently. If people are putting plywood up in Manhattan, you're going to need one of these. I told you, plywood up in Manhattan, you're going to need one of these. I told you I'm going to stick a bunch of candles in it, make it look like, you know, the big wicks hanging up. This thing, let me tell you something. You could hit somebody with it.
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Starting point is 00:40:18 with no lead time and get 15% off with the code NICKDIP at caniprogear.com. That's C-A-N-N-A-E, ProGear.com, and use NickDip to get 15% off. After the bombs, after the election, there'll be only you, your plywood, and Can I ProGear, the most durable gear known to man. Speaking of men, this guy's not one, no. Boy, Bill Maher, who again,
Starting point is 00:40:52 I've told you my opinion of Bill Maher. He's like that guy when I watch sports, the guy on the other team that everybody hates, but you're like, I wouldn't mind him on my team. He represents his nonsense well. My big beep with him is he helped create this PC environment. There's nothing more PC than HBO. If you saw the fucking left-wing Nazis that run it, you'd make your stomach roll. Anyways, you know, Bill Maher's had a very successful show on there. He compared America to one huge family Friday night and urged the country to make peace no matter who wins the
Starting point is 00:41:22 election, saying we have to find a way to work together that's what uh bill maher said uh but you know what problem you're the fucking problem you fucking dr y onking jam rag arkin spunk bubble i'm telling you h you keep looking at me i'm gonna put you in the fucking ground i promise you not this time uh 34 percent of the voters believe there'll be another civil war within the next five years. And he says he'd like to remind them of one thing. America is a family. And the definition of family is people who hate each other without resorting to violence, he said.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Because most of the lefties come from dysfunctional, fuck-stained families. Anyways, here's Bill Maher. But let's not have a civil war with the Trumpers. We're no good at war and they're no good at being civil. Pause. See, here's where being a left-wing comic is so easy. He just made the exact opposite of what the truth is. And the right is no good at being civil. Now, excuse me, Bill. Who's burning and looting? Look at all those Trump supporters, huh? Look at all those white supremacist burning cities.
Starting point is 00:42:32 What the fuck are you talking about? Jesus H. Christ, I want to like you. Get this through your head. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. This is a great show. Go ahead, let him roll. Huh? That was it?
Starting point is 00:42:56 Really? No, it wasn't. Seriously? Seriously? You need to shut the fuck up. Baby, I'll be there to shake your hand. Maybe I'll be there to share the land that you'll be giving away. When we never live together now.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Talking about cut your throat. Maher ended his six-minute monologue reminding America that they're stuck with each other. So please, whatever happens, Susie, let's find a way to work together. We have to because no other country will take us. Let me just say this, dum-dum. All the other countries are coming here, number one. Number two, it's too late to be nice, Bill. After how you treated this fucking president, I'm hoping biden wins so i can show him the
Starting point is 00:43:46 same respect that you motherfuckers showed trump i don't want him to win but god damn it you think this show's rowdy now wait till i'm on my own platform i'll be arrested at the goddamn fucking house for what's coming i'm dead serious i fuck it's too. You want to be civil now? Fucking Russiagate impeachment. Chasing Republican senators into their fucking restaurants while they're trying to eat. Showing up in front of their houses. Doxing them. No. No.
Starting point is 00:44:17 The fun's just beginning. And if the shit does go down, you know what? I love I'm on the right side where all the guns are. Good luck with your you know, gun zones, you fucking maggots. Baby, I'll be there to break your face. Baby, I'll be there. Anyways, you know, sad news this weekend. I don't know if you guys are James Bond's fans, but I certainly was.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And I was more of a Roger Moore guy because i was like 14 when roger moore was the you know i mean i went to live and let die and all that shit i don't watch the daniel craig ones which are very good i hear but uh don't suck cock i don't care how sexy he is sean connery was the handsome he had the charisma charisma. Anyways, that poor prick. Yeah. 007, 86. Look at even then. Handsome. Sean Connery, the charismatic Scottish actor who rose to international
Starting point is 00:45:14 superstardom as a suave, fearless secret agent James Bond, and then abandoned the role to go to Three's Company and play Mr. Roper's father. What? No. He abandoned the role to carve to Three's Company and play Mr. Roper's father. What? No. He abandoned the role to carve out an equally successful Oscar-winning career playing
Starting point is 00:45:30 a variety of leading and character roles. He passed away this weekend. He was 90 years old. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. Imagine? Bond produces EON Productions, confirmed his death, produces Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I'm not shitting you. Her name's Barbara Broccoli. Are you kidding me? What's her middle name? Steamed? Get out of here. Said they were devastated by it. Really?
Starting point is 00:46:04 The guy's 90. You were devastated? Guys had dementia. He was, they said anyways, he was and shall always be remembered as the original James Bond, whose indelible entrance into cinema history began when he announced those unforgettable words. Lick me. Lick my ass. No. The name's bond james bond which a lot of uh criminals use now
Starting point is 00:46:32 cash bond i need cash bond uh anyways they said that's connery's son jason said his father died Anyways, they said that's Connery's son. Jason said his father died peacefully in a shed where I put him two years ago. What the fuck? No, he died in a sleep overnight in the Bahamas. Good for him where he lived, having been unwell for some time. The real Sean Connery had he had trouble with his first marriage and a history of comments justifying domestic violence. He did? Make me a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:47:10 Make me a fucking sandwich. No, no, no, no. I wonder how many wives he slapped across the face because they stirred his drink instead of shook it. Oh, whoa, whoa whoa whoa in 1962 he married diane uh i can't fucking read salento uh an actress best known for her role as molly and tom jones what they had a son jason who also became an actor but the union union proved tempestuous and ended in 1974. Its impact lasted long after. Salento would allege that he had physically abused her, and Connery defends his behavior in interviews. In 1965, he told Playboy magazine that he did not find anything
Starting point is 00:48:00 particularly wrong about hitting a woman. Can you imagine this guy today? Oh, my God. What's the idea? Hey, get out of the way. Although I don't recommend doing this, he said, in the same way that you'd hit a man. An open-handed slap is justified if all other alternatives have failed and there's been a plenty of warning. Sure, he's not Italian and Mexican. When Barbara Walters, who actually thinks women, you know, shit ice cream, this is when the PC shit started, when people started to like her.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Barbara Walters brought up those remarks at a 1987 interview. Guess what? He stuck to his guns. Here's that interview. You did an interview in which you said, it's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then. As I remember, you said you don't do it with a clenched fist. It's better to do it with an open hand.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't love that. I haven't changed my opinion. You haven't? No. You think it's good to slap a woman? No, I don't think it's good. What a dumb twat. Is that what he said? It's good to slap? You see her?
Starting point is 00:49:07 Really think you're above it. And by the way, I've never hit a woman. That's not how I was raised. But guess what? It's a whole new world out there. Since you feminists want to play football with us and fucking whatever. And I got sucker punched by a girl. It literally fucking closed my eye.
Starting point is 00:49:25 All bets are off now. I've seen fights at comedy clubs where girls jump in the middle of guys and all bets are off. I'm serious. I was so disappointed. I was so proud, but I didn't hit that girl
Starting point is 00:49:40 and I'm telling all my friends and they're all like, you didn't hit her. What's the matter with you? Fucking even Rogan, you know, triple black belt. I would have leg whipped her. I said, Joe, I tried to get her in a Camorra. Uh, go ahead. I don't think it's that bad. I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it. What would merit it? Well, if you have tried everything else, and women are pretty good at this, they can't leave it alone.
Starting point is 00:50:09 They don't want to have the last word, and you give them the last word, but they're not happy with the last word. They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation. Then, I think it's absolutely right. What the fuck was that? Somebody dubbed it her getting slapped. I fucking love it. How about her attitude, though? When would it merit it?
Starting point is 00:50:40 Oh, let me give you a few examples, Barbara. Let's say a woman breaks into my house with a knife and I'm in the kitchen. She's coming at me. Do I get the slap? Or should I kill her? Or even your girlfriend or wife, you know, tries to light you on fire or whatever. I mean, seriously, the mentality. Yeah, but I have a pussy. You can't shut it. Shut it. I thought it was so refreshing. God, I wish he was pussy. You can't. Shut it. Shut it. I thought it was so refreshing. God, I wish he was on the ticket with Trump.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Fucking winning a landslide. But this, that was the era of the 80s where it got all PC and shit. Really? She goes, I didn't love that. If I was Connery, I would go, who gives a fuck what you love? I don't love your stupid lisp. Oh, God. Nick, you're a woman hater. No, stupid lisp. Oh, God. Nick, you're a woman hater.
Starting point is 00:51:29 No, I am not. Like I said, I've never hit a woman, but Jesus Christ, it must feel tremendous. It's like blowing three loads. Hey, everybody. I can't thank you guys enough. So many of you have been buying the Nick DiPaolo show merch, and these Nika shirts have been selling like crazy. We now have all the designs in both white and gray. And now you can grab Nika mugs, too.
Starting point is 00:51:55 God, what does Tommy have, a group of Chinese kids in his basement pumping the shit up? Here's the Nika mugs. Yeah. Go to the waffle house and bring your own mug. In Atlanta, see what happens. Get all this stuff at Nick. There's actually nice stuff. I don't even have any.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Get all this stuff at nickdip.com. I also want to share some of these photos that you fans have shared. We love this. Brian sent this in. He's got something in there. That is not a Budweiser, Tommy. I don't know what that is. But I love the show. Looks like a bear. And I love that he's driving. God bless you. That's New York City. Make sure you take a left and hit Schumer on 33rd and 5th. He's driving and drinking. It could be an energy drink anyways.
Starting point is 00:52:48 These two pictures are from Jim and Stacey all the way in Japan. Holy moly. I got people in Japan. Okay? Fans. Like we didn't believe them. that could be detroit you ever get ever get off a plane in detroit every sign at the airports in japanese because all the car dealer
Starting point is 00:53:13 all the uh car factories so anyways that was uh those guys and his wife. This super fan, Carla Clark, she's sporting the Nicker Rich shirt. Is she ever? Carla? Carla, hello? That shirt's never going to look better. You guys don't even... Holy shit, we get actual models. Very nice, Carla, thank you, and lastly, these two from Amy down in Ormond Beach, Florida, and holy fucking moly,
Starting point is 00:53:58 can I get a refill, hello, excuse me, miss, do you like, I'm doing, this is from Otto and George, but he actually says this to his stripper on stage. Excuse me, ma'am. Do you like cream with your coffee? A cock. That wasn't me. That's Otto and George. Hey, very good pictures.
Starting point is 00:54:17 We like the Ravelo ones. Those are the ones that are going to make it. Fellas, that doesn't mean you. But what is that? That's a little, what kind of pool is she in if that's on the back of an el camino thank you guys so much you can buy all this stuff the nick dupalo show logo gear and the nick of designs on my website nicky scars sorry nick dip i was getting carried away myself nick dip.com you, guys. You really are the best.
Starting point is 00:54:45 I have the best fans. One-time contributions. Paul Sagnella, Connecticut. Warren, here we go. Dyvig, Canada. David Bethel, California. Cara Tromboli, New York. Carlos Pinheiro, Canada.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Pete, I'm up in my pants, Australia. Leslie Funk, Utah. Joseph Christopherson. They're going too fast. Hold on. This one goes three miles an hour. This one's going 100. Andy Navin, Pennsylvania. Hold on. I'll fucking find him up here. Where am I?
Starting point is 00:55:17 Did I get Cara Tromboli? Carlos Pinheiro. Canada. Pete, pee in my pants. Australia. Leslie Funk. New York. Joseph Christopherson, Utah. Andy Nave in Pennsylvania. Rod Rehman, Raymond, sorry. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:55:32 New Jersey. Kurt Arnold, Ohio. Mark DeFrance, Alabama. Dixon Yamada, get it? Dixon Yamada, Hawaii. You guys, you're naughty. Danny Pritchard, Georgia. And we have two monthly supporters sign up at Patreon.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Chris Kaufman Jr. and SF. Thank you guys very much. You do, you keep us up and running, man. And we do appreciate it. And don't forget the big announcement on Wednesday about November. It's either COVID or tumor right here. It really hurts. It really hurts a lot.
Starting point is 00:56:16 Anyways, Lady Gaga back on the news. Now, you guys, this might surprise you. I like her music. I like her. I mean, I hate her politics, but I think she's a talented little broad. Make me a sandwich. No, she's very, very talented. I liked her in A Star is Born.
Starting point is 00:56:32 She was excellent with you-know-who, Chris Cooper or Kevin Cooper or Stu Lagatz. What was his name? What's Cooper? Bradley Cooper. Jason's the only guy his age who has no fucking idea what's going on. I actually respect that. Who cares about Hollywood? But Lady Gaga, you know, she's for Joe Biden, actually.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Lady Gaga tried to drum up support with battleground state voters for Democratic nominee Joe Biden in a bizarre new endorsement video, but was mocked on Twitter for trying to look like a redneck. Let's take a look at the video she put out. Hey, this is Lady Gaga. I'm voting for America, which means I'm voting for Joe Biden. And if you live in Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, Florida, or Arizona, I encourage you to vote. And if you have a friend that lives there, tell them to vote. I'm going to be in one of these states tomorrow. Guess which one I'll be in.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Hint, I used to live there. Supposed to finish it. The 2020 election. Christy, get down on your knees so sabrina can see your asshole i wore those boots to the senior prom she's going retro but you know what makes me laugh about this you know what she's doing she's stereotyping people from the south everything that the libs like her rail against imagine you did that uh black uh if you're trying to reach out to the black voter to vote for trump and i put on a giant afro a nice bucket of kfc and a purple cadillac wouldn't you be offended but nobody says boo to this little
Starting point is 00:58:16 fucking yeah i still like her i like her fucking music that makes me gay i don't give a shit i know talent when I see it. You're going to tell me Mel Torme wasn't the best? The endorsement video was panned online by Twitter users who said the A-lister missed the mark with flyover state voters. Here's some quotes from the jerk-offs on Twitter. This is Lady Gaga trying to appeal to middle America. How do you do, fellow pickup truck owners? I like beer too. Another Twitter user added that the star was trying to appeal to conservative voters
Starting point is 00:59:02 by being a caricature of what she thinks all conservatives alike which is absolutely true that was uh right on the you smug cocksucker fuck you she's uh her parents are both italian so she needs a spanking from an italian guy you goddamn guineas really make me laugh. I think that's enough, right? That's enough for today, kids. I'm burning up. I think I get the age.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Anyways, hey, it's election eve. So get out there and vote. I'm dead serious. Just what Trump did over the weekend while Biden is just, he like goes over the border to Pennsylvania because it's 11 feet from his house. And then he has nine cars beeping their horn. I'm telling you, the fix is in. I don't think it's going to matter, though. But, you know, it's going to happen.
Starting point is 01:00:00 If Trump wins, you know, they're going to, they're going to. After what they did to him the last four years between Russiagate and the impeachment and all this, you don't think they're going to happen if Trump wins you know they're going to they're going to after what they did to him the last four years between Russiagate and the impeachment all these you don't think they're going to do anything to steal this and all that mail-in ballot shit COVID was part of this folks they're filthy people that do anything for power anyway that's it don't forget cameo.com I'll make a little video you tell me uh what to say I can roast one of your friends or relatives go to cameo.com click on my profile tell me a little bit about the person we'll make a little video. You tell me what to say. I can roast one of your friends or relatives. Go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile. Tell me a little bit about the person.
Starting point is 01:00:29 We'll make or break their day. You guys think that I will say it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here on Election Day, I think, tomorrow. It's sort of up in the air. Could be tomorrow night. But hang in there. We'll let you know on social media.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Have a good day. guitar solo I'm out.

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