The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Pulls Off Unthinkable | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1803

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about Trump Hailed by Israel, Trump Targets Cartels, Benioff Flips A Bitch, A Papal Piss Break, Sanchez Sacked, A Detroit Lion Attack and College Ball! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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Hi, folks, welcome on a Monday morning, as it always is. It always seems I took a bunch of sleeping shit on Friday night. Got up at quarter of four. I've never done that before my life, ever. I always get out of bed of guilt. Even when I was young, if I'd get up at noon. Couldn't get up. I had that shit in my system, had Advil P.M. in there, fucking sleep tea.

I'm like Elvis. Fucking going out. Yeah, I couldn't get out of bed. It was like I was paralyzed. Don't do that because the weekend goes way fast when you skip a day. It's having some fucked up dreams. I don't know what's going on inside me. I just picture the exorcism.

Welcome to the live lineup, ladies and gentlemen, where you get my show, all these great shows you see flying by right there for free. And now you can get Glenn Greenwald live right here at 7 p.m., which is right after this show. If you want to watch it all ad free,

sign up for Rumble premium. And don't forget to download the Rumble app. Today I will be talking about Trump is like Moses and Israel. I don't know, was he a good guy for Israel? I don't even know. He parted something, somebody's hair. Trump also, he's playing.

playing battleship with these drug boats. C4. I just picture him in the tub. Bingo. Also, this guy, Benioff, he's a real lefty lib with the billions of dollars. All of a sudden, he's a Trump fan.

Probably tax season. Also, we'll show you a guy that did something that was so naughty at the Vatican, yet so funny. All that and the weather. Speaking of weather, are we supposed to get hit here with anything? No. North East up, up north.

They canceled Columbus Day. Hockel did. Hmm, I wonder if that had anything to do with Trump making officially Columbus Day a few days ago. I wonder if that, no, it's the weather, the Norway Day. Yeah, but they said we're not going to reschedule it until next year. Why not? Give the greasy some love. Do you hear what I said to you?

Anyhow, that's what I'll be talking about. Weekend-wise, did you have fun, folks? What did you do? I don't know. God, again, if you're a sports fan, this is the time to be alive. And if you're a male figure skated, you're bored out of your tits.

There's nothing on TV for you. Maybe some cooking shows. Wait a minute, I like those. Yes. Playoff baseball. Dodgers, Brewers. Is that official? Yeah.

I can't even, this is what I'm talking. talking about folks. I watch these games and I can't remember how they ended. I know the Mariners and Blue Jay started last night for the A.L. of Pettit and the Mariters who have never

been in the... Mariners have never been in the World Series. I did not know that. Did you? No. I already... I was... Could have sworn they beat somebody. I don't know. I remember... Dodgers Brewers. Dodgers. Tonight. That's a good match. Let me tell you, the Brewers are... They got a

bunch of scrappy kind of single double hitters they all get dirty and i'm pulling for the brewers how interesting would a world series be between the mariners and the brewers not very interesting i'm like you though no for you and i it would be yeah i like odd matchups like that um the brewers in the 80s were pretty good the brew crew they had a guy named gorman thomas who had hit 40, 50 homers every year and Cecil Cooper former Red Sox. They were very good, but yes, I'm like you. I like to see

Matt, but you know who would hate that, Dallas? MLB. Because those aren't really big markets. I mean, if they could have it their way, you know, it'll be Dodgers, Yankees every year in the World Series. But yes, I'm with you. I'm pulling for the fucking brewers.

Milwaukee needs something. The city's a little depressing other than the beer, you know? And guys driving trucks through parades. That's all the fun over there. Maybe a cheese hat once in a while. Come on. Although the Packers look pretty goddamn good. Yeah, so that was, Bruins are 3 and O. I'm not going to get too excited. I don't see much scoring power there, but they're very scrappy and typical Bruins, you know, rely on defense and

goaltending and physical play. But they're 3 in O. Nobody saw that coming either with a new coach. NFL will get to that. Listen to this. This is embarrassing. You know, out of 13, 12 or 13, because there's two more to go. Maybe 14 games. I had four right.

This is why I don't gamble. Understand? Then you look up. My mother's like a sixth place out of fucking 140 people. And she's not even playing. I don't know what the hell she's doing. What the fuck else?

Dallas went to a place called Helen. He's got a girlfriend out there, Helen. No, he took his wife and kids, and he's a good dad. I'm looking at that guy, and I couldn't do that. Nice camp, nice fucking tent. How far, like, from downtown were you in the woods? Could you get hit by that roller coaster in the woods?

For the area is Chattahoochee National Forest. So we stay at Mount Yona, and it's 10 minutes to Helen from there. Oh, cool. Yeah, takes the, got. the new baby right in the tent and shit. Mother of God, was I born on the wrong planet? That's maybe because my dad didn't have any patience when I was

a kid. We'd go to fucking Dairy Queen, right? We'd go to McDonald's first, and then to Dairy Queen. I got a Friday night. That was a big thing. My dad would pull into the parking line. If there were two people in line, he goes, fuck this. My mother would be yelling at him.

Write that down, Alice. Come on. The fucking laughs are far and few between. Monday. You're going to grab what you can. All right, enough of the bullshit. Let's talk about, I don't know if Trump's the president or a magician. I don't, I don't understand. And I see people on

the internet more cynical than me going, enjoy your movie script. And it almost feels that way. I've never seen everything go right for a poll. I understand when people are so cynical. Not the ones that are fucking bad mouth that I'm in defending Hamas. Don't hear from them

today, do we? And that funny screaming, beating up Jewish kids on campus the last couple of years, everything's anti-Jew, and all of a sudden, you know, they pretended they wanted peace because Israel's committing genocide, which is, I still don't fucking believe that. What they did was

payback everybody. But again, and I'm not saying these people are wrong either, the people that don't like Israel is because they drag us into a bunch wars we're sort of their pit bull and that's kind of true you know uh i'd like to think if my

kid was in the military uh he'd be dying on behalf of the united states you know and not wall street what does that mean i don't know i just threw in a jujo so uh i get that too folks and i don't know who knows how long that but but do you understand he got the hostages back even thick ankle dog face pig face Hillary Clinton said last week or two weeks ago if Trump gets the hostage I think she said he was talking about the hostages if he gets them back he deserves a noble can you imagine that's how good Trump's been that fat fucking pig hateful anything white and male she also had that crack that all the problems in the world are our fault so she can why doesn't she find the nice malignant bump on her eyes

anyway so yeah it's insane so the hostages are back as of this morning of course some of them are dead and they can't find them nice huh that's your family member

Trump hailed by Israel I didn't know how else to put it President Trump told Israel's parliament the Knesset on Monday that this is not only the end of a war but the end of a war but the end an age of terror and death. I want to believe you, Mr. Trump. I want to believe you. But Biden opened the gates and we have a bunch of people, and this comes from Tom Holman, who knows

about illegal immigrants. We have a bunch of people over here from a bunch of countries that are on the terror list, and we don't know where the fuck they are. So, I mean, I hope you're right. What are they going to do? See this on the news and pack it up? Oh, well, we can't do anything. I don't know. But the end of an age of terror and death and the beginning of an age faith and hope. But this is what I've got to say about this guy. I've never seen somebody so optimistic in my life and positive in my life. I never believed in any of that shit till I saw this guy. I used to spit at the TV when Tony Robbins came on with his commercials. Get the fuck out of here, you con man. I had a bit about it too. Anyways, yes, so Trump spoke as the 20 remaining

living Israeli hostages. They said they were going to return the dead ones to their family. Israel hostages returned to their families in emotional scenes. Here's Mr. Trump, right? Speaking in front of the Knesset and all the Jewish folks,

they had Trump hats on. And again, I understand folks. I understand you people who are going, yeah, we're just the puppet for Israel or whatever the fuck. I understand all that. But even if this is, you've got to admit, nobody's gone this far. Here's Trump talking.

I want to, I wonder if he brags about himself. My tremendous appreciation for all of the nations of the Arab and Muslim world that came together to press Samas to send them the hostages free to send them home. We had a lot of help. We had a lot of help. A lot of people that you wouldn't suspect. And I want to thank them. Ben Laden's cousin, Kevin.

It's an incredible. triumph for Israel and the world to have all of these nations working together as partners and peace. That's your world. It's just living in it. It would be unusual for you to see that, but it happened in this case. This was a very unusual point in time. A brilliant point in time.

Generations from now, this will be remembered as the moment that everything began to change and change very much for the better. We're all wearing yarmacus. What? say right now, it will be the golden age of Israel and the golden age of the... I watched the pawn last week on it was called the Golden Age. Go ahead. Middle East, it's going to work together.

Trump ended to an extended standing ovation and a trumpet salute. Get it? Yeah. Dallas does. Just did a goat noise. A trumpet. I would have went with a fucking tuba. Accompanied by Israeli president Isaac Herzog,

former manager of the Kansas City Royals, used to call him Whitey. Israeli Prime Minister Ben Netanyahu and Speaker of the Knesset, Ameri Ohana, Netanyahu, a member of the legislative body, I thought he was a president. I mean, nobody else is seen on TV talking.

Took his seat in the audience with Herzog. They had luxury boxes. and Ohana accompanying Trump to the podium. Several red make America great again hats were visible in the gallery among the spectators. I wonder if they put their yarmulkees on top of the hats. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu thanked Trump effusibly for his support for Israel over the years,

a partial list that included his role in the hostage deal for recognizing Israel's rights in Judeo and Samaria, where I got a condo, prices through the room, for the Abraham Accords and for opposing Iran's nuclear ambitions as opposed to making those things happen under Obama and Biden and attacking Iran's nuclear sites. And there's still people out there's shit in on Trump. Some jerk off on X's like, and I had to fucking reply to him.

He had to reply, attack me back. You people are delusional. He thinks we're delusional And I'm like Well the shit that happens You can fact check when we state something Is this not happening right now? Did the economy not get better?

Where are we delusional? You know what I mean? It's fucking frightening What the media has done To split this country And again, people will blame the Jews for that. I don't know. They blame them for everything.

By the way, it's Columbus Day. I'll spare you guys the clip of me on the Sopranos that we play every year. I couldn't even watch it again. Anyways, Netanyahu added. Donald Trump is the greatest friend that Israel has ever had in the White House. Netanyahu praised Trump's peace plan for guys are calling it a proposal that ends the war by achieving all our objectives, a proposal that opens the door to an expansion. of peace in our region.

And again, I say build shopping malls. Although malls are out of fashion now, too, as they call the motor store. People shop from their computer. My frigging wife shops, you know how you used to go into a store and you'd buy shit and bring it home and try, you know, and she orders like 11 things that are delivered and then she'll like one of them and return the, I go, isn't that a lot of work? it sounds like I wouldn't even know how to return something

she's like no what the fuck anyways yeah I come home she's got a tuxedo and a top hat I said that doesn't look good she kept it anyways what at that point hecklers what is this fucking funny bone

in Tel Aviv I'll be here all unseen until that point heckles interrupted apparently from Arab parties some of whom have extremist positions. Bullshit, Arabs don't have extremist positions. And which are yet elected freely

in a democratic Israel. You hear that? Those are Arab politicians who are elected in Israel freely and they're heckling. So you guys are just mentally fucking crazy. You don't want peace. There's something inside you.

Anyways, they were quickly ejected by two bouncers. But given tickets, to Nate Bergotsie. He's coming out next week. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Not Nate, these people that were rejected.

That was very efficient, Trump, Joe. As the Kness had erupted a chance of Trump, Trump, Trump. Yeah, he had some good ones. I didn't feel like pulling the clips, but he was funny up there. Not even trying to be, you know?

Oh, he goes, talking about Sheldon, who's some rich, it's the one probably in Vegas that his billions is always donating to Trump his wife I think was in the Trump goes stand up Mary of course she's like a Jewish wife

so she's like not gonna have a guy tell her what to do she just sat she stands in finally he goes please she stands up and Trump goes and I quote she got 60 billion in the bank it's almost inappropriate got 60 billion in the bank

oh my God he's a And then he goes, Netanyah, who the best wartime leader. Very difficult man to deal, but that's what makes him great. Trump wants everybody to come in and just say yes, to him. And oh, and he said, he goes, we made a deal. That's what I do. I'm good at it. He goes, I'm good at it.

It's refreshing. It's refreshing to hear. Anyways, that's what infuriates the idiots on the left. Anyways, let's move on to some more news. this doesn't involve Israel unless they built the boat that was blown up now you see it now you don't President Trump as you know

has got a real hate on for knockos Trump has launched an unprecedented war against cartels and has threatened narco terrorists saying he will blow you out of existence that's a quote as his administration seeks to curb the influx of drugs into the U.S.

I don't want to more dangerous. The fentanyl or the shit that Pfizer throws at it, that they don't test and shit and that you find out later causes this and that. The White House sent lawmakers a memo on September 30th informing them that the United States is now participating in a non-international armed conflict with drug smugglers on top of conducting four fatal strikes against alleged drugboats in the Caribbean since September. That's why I took my boat out of the water in Aruba.

I said, fuck that. The Department of War recently announced a new counter-narcotics joint task force in the Southern Command Area of Responsibility, according to the Secretary of War, Pete Higgseth. The aim of the

task force is to crush the cartels, stop the poison. Well, if that's a case, close Arby's. And keep America safe, Hegg Seth wrote on X Friday. The message is clear. If you traffic drugs towards our shores, we will stop you cold. Yeah, I think we believe you.

By the way, blown up a boat, that's not cold. It looks pretty out. These recent developments suggest that Trump is eyeing targets within Venezuela, not just those within international waters, within the country of Venezuela. And he's looking at Snoop's house. A lot of people coming in and out of their late. Here is footage of the latest narcotics boat having a,

I think it was a Weber grill. They were cooking sausage and had a little accident. Here's what we do to Narcos. Breaking today, the Secretary of War, Pete Hagsath, confirming another deadly strike on a narco trafficking boat off the coast of Venezuela. One second it's there. The next second, it's not. Hegs says it was packed with substantial amounts of narcotics.

headed for the United States. The move comes after a White House memo sent to Congress saying, America is now in a formal armed conflict with the drug cartels. Well, not yet. Trump himself has not ruled out. This was interesting. Conducting strikes within Venezuela, though, and signaled such strikes could happen when he told military leaders in Quantico, Virginia,

on September 30th that his administration would look very seriously at cartels. coming by land. Well, yeah, that's what happens. You blow up all their boats and they're going to go, okay, plan B. And then they start sticking, you know, fentanyl up their ass and getting on planes and, um, and the sides of trucks coming over. They're very creative. Go find another market. There's plenty of people to poison. Go to fucking Africa. There's a million countries over there. Huh? China. They're too smart. The chinks. They're doing this. They're the ones create the shit. You're right. Yeah, bring their own product bet. That's right. Return it. Say this shit doesn't fit. What? Uh, this, like my wife, mailing shit back. The strikes have prompted

members of Congress to question their legality. I wonder who would the, can't, hmm, you don't even have to go any further to know who's quick. Can you imagine? He's blowing boats out of the what that are carrying shit that have been. hundred thousand Americans debt for the last I don't know how many years young kids and only Democrats

like Adam Schiff and Tim Kane have a problem with what Trump's doing could you you guys are the worst look at that pencil neck ooh I'd like to fucking

look at him looks like a puppet he looks like rock them sock him robots remember that he looks like look at Tim Kane fucking moron

can you imagine he you're worried about the legality instead of worrying about the legality of poisoning our kids in a whole generation don't worry about that worry about the legality what should we have a trial for him huh maybe we can do it on a nice beach in st martin you fucking morons shift and tim kane filed a war powers resolution in september that would block us from engaging in hostilities against certain non-state organizations. You fucking believe it. You're looking at them.

You're looking at him. You're blinding little communist shit twinkle-toed cock sucker down here. We'll just sign his own death warrant. That sounded so good on a Monday. I mean, what do you? I really think, and I'm not kidding. The Democratic politicians, you picked the worst thing to do for a living. You suck so bad at it

You like the New York Jets of politics You fucking have stunk for so long And now it's all coming apart Jets are 0 and 6 by the way Oh and 6 What do the Giants have one win? Yeah, I think so I did Maybe one or two

They just had a big one My memory's so bad They just beat somebody really good I really think you're doing what you shouldn't do for a living. Adam Schiff, can we see him in Cuff soon? For the whole Russia hoax thing, is that ever going to happen? Miss Bondi, I'm talking to you. Anyways, here's a symptom of Trump mania, a positive symptom.

Big Lib does a 180. tech billionaire Mark Benhoeff is shifting his tone my mother always used his told me to shift my tone I don't like your tone what the fuck what am I Casey Kasem hey my go fuck yourself

up three notches Nick tells his mother to go fuck herself Joan writes my son's got a real potty mouth what can I have you ever heard the clip of Casey case I'm losing his shit Dallas you want to cry Google it when you get a chance somebody he starts to read a let you know people sent in letters he goes this letter is from Mary so-and-so in Oklahoma

she says um my puppy just I'm not gonna read a fucking story about a doesn't even sound like him he goes into devil mode He's like, come on, for fuck's sake. Mark Buenauer is shifting his tone towards President Trump saying he fully supports the president. I wonder what changed, some type of tax code. He fully supports the president is now urging him to deploy

the National Guard to Bonoich's home city of San Francisco. Of course, you know, we can handle it. Really? I remember a girl getting shot by an elite. legal and a pair about, what was that, 10 years ago or more? Remember the lease or something? It was all over the fucking nose. Homeless guy had a rifle.

He said he was shooting at birds on the whatever the fuck. Remember that one? Yeah. That was, Christ, maybe more than 10 years ago. They have a law named after her. I can't remember it. Let's call her Jane Doe. We don't have enough cops.

So if the National, this is Ben I've talking. So if the National Guard can be cops, I'm all for it. Ben I've said in an interview of the New York Times. he's still a left, he's talking to those scumbags. I fully support the president, he added. I think he's doing a great job. You are correct, sir. Wow.

That's coming from, this guy, seriously, I'll tell you, he's donated to some, you know, things that don't help us. His comments come a week before his annual Dreamforce conference in San Francisco. I thought it was Salesforce. That's the name of the convention. Oh, what's the name of the San? is the name of the convention. All right. He complained to the times that he has to pay out of pocket for off-duty police officers to bolster security in the convention area. I wonder if that's the only reason he's easy. And that'd be funny. He's, I'm a single issue voter. My security. I'm voting Trump

right now. He seems a lot better on it. The friendly words for Trump are at about face for the California billionaire. However, having spent recent years funneling tens of millions of dollars toward left-wing activist groups, Benoib's company Salesforce has also champion transgender ideology. How about this guy? He's for that transgender shit, but he's a Trump fella. Those things don't seem to coalesce, to use a word of homosexual would. Between 2022 and 24 alone, Salesforce donated over 23 million to the Left Wing Tides Foundation. Sales Force also created the Pledge 1% program, a model that encourages corporations and encourages them. So I don't have a problem. To donate 1% of equity, product, profit, and employee time to charity.

I don't know. I don't do much. That's why I'm for this. Let the other people take care. How about a half of 1%? They can handle that, can't they? I'm starting to sound like a lib. I know Dallas is looking at him. He's got his glasses done. What the fuck are you doing? Salesforce also donated $1.5 million to the liberal dark money group, New VIII. Venture Fund. When they said Dark Money Group, I thought they were talking about NBC. Reporting from the Washington Examiner says the organization

is links to a Palestinian terrorist group. Okay? And this guy's a Trump fan now. I wonder if it has to do with what's going on in the Middle East now. Maybe he just goes whatever way the wind blows. That's what smart billionaires.

That's how they become billionaires. Except for Soros. He goes against the grain. He tries to destroy and he's pretty good at it. He actually bankrupted the fucking England. He bankrupted the biggest bank of England

by betting short on him whatever the fucking did. Aside from funding, Benoit's company has used its own reach to push transgender activism using its social media accounts to hail a transgender athlete

and defend transgender people in the U.S. military. You're wrong there, fella. I'm telling you, this, all of a sudden, this tribe, think he's got to be financial. Well, he said he doesn't want to pay for security out of his pocket. Despite the left-wing resume, Benoif has been successful in getting closer to Trump's orbit since his election in 2020. This is what smart guys do. Elon Musk.

Remember? As soon as he saw Trump was going to win this thing, he was like, fucking joined at the hip. And then he said, this guy's got an ego. I'm out of here. But I've sat across from Trump at this state dinner hosted by King Charles in the UK. I wouldn't know King Charles from Prince Frank. I really wouldn't.

Anytime I see Royal in the head, I'm not fucking kidding. Only when Lady died died. I found that interesting. I figured she got whack and she had a nice ass. I was upset. That's the only time I paid any attention. Anytime I say, I don't get it. I don't understand why people get upset with this.

or Megan Mark, I don't understand it. They're not even us. King? We don't like that shit here. King Charles in the UK last year. According to the Times, he repeatedly told Trump how grateful I am for everything he's doing. Boy, that must really hurt the feelings

of the Barbara Streisands of the world and the Rob Reiner's, the Mark Ruffalo's. He's the one that makes me... I want to punch his fucking throat. Does he have... Alice wants to punch his throat. I want to punch his neck. So we'll bang this.

What is it about he is that fat? Some of them just make you go through the roof. Speaking of that, Diane Keaton die. Am I supposed to be upset? Because I'm not. Speaking of big lips. And all that shit with Woody Allen. I don't know.

I kind of think she's just a psycho. Good actress. It's great in Annie Hall. Went an Academy Award for that. great in the godfather. Al Pacino said today in the paper that his one regret in life he didn't stay with her.

They were on and off for like 20 years and she gave him the ultimatum about marriage. Pacino's like, I want to fuck a huah. Okay. Don't ever question me. It was his son, Michael.

A son and I had it killed because this whole grease ball wop thing must stop shut up smack watch that scene again she didn't know that was coming now remember this is back in the early 70s late 60s when they used to method acting was the popular thing to do everybody was going to stella adler and all these fun and in other words living in the moment is what it's called living truthfully in the moment i'm telling you that was a crack in the face she didn't see coming because her reaction was too real and uh it was tremendous she had a comment she's a little mouthy

I'm not for hitting women but I like watching it anyways they say that's what killed her she gets CTE no I don't know bye bye anyways

uh give me a P for Pope a P folks give me a P for Pope why are you saying that well a man I we gotta put this one in just to lighten it up can't all be dead hostages and a man

get this, urinated on a Vatican altar during a holy mass as hundreds of tourists looked on in disgust at the act of desecration Friday. It reminds me when I was a kid, and anyways, I'm kidding. I never got into a church. He peed on the altar at the Vatican. Again, I'm not a religious freak, but I'm pretty sure that goes against the church. church's rules. They don't mind if you come on it and you're wearing the cloth. Nick, how could you say that? You're going to lose your, it's a joke. Conservatives,

my conservative friends, you know where I stand. It's a joke. But this guy must have had quite a buzz. What's hard to believe he said he had only two old duels. What? You got to go. It's not always about the alcohol. He said that the men's room, they said the guy was in there with a mop. They had the yellow sign up, wet floor. Like he's at LaGuardia.

It's not like he took a dump in the thing. The unidentified man began his sickening act by scaling the steps of the altar of confession. Hey, who has it at St. Peter's Basilica in a spot where the sitting pope typically performs mass. Wow. He was going for the home run ball. He's like, where's the Pope talk? I wonder if he was, it doesn't get into the article. It doesn't say like if he hates the cat.

He could have been just a shit-faced Catholic. Could have been just Irish and lost. He wasted no time dropping his pants to his ankles and urinating all over the holy grounds. Korea Dada set up reported. It's a good paper or a woman. I know you guys don't believe what I'm telling you so I get video to back it up oh my goodness oh my can imagine you there though as a tourist just looking around and this

guy comes out and I am like God and God like me I am as large as God I have to pee he cannot piss in the man's room closed celetia

prostate cancer October 15 um shut up Shut up. The 9 a.m. Holy Mass was taking place, but it's unclear if the Pope was leading. What do you mean? It's unclear.

He was there or he wasn't. Great reporting. Usually when the Pope's wrong, make note of it. If he was leading the proceedings, he probably laughed. Wait a minute. He's from Chicago. I keep forgetting. He's from a suburb of Chicago.

Did you see him? He had the Cubs hat on the top. Big of the hat. The news reached Pope. Leo the 14th himself. That's the Pope from Chicago, who was reportedly shocked, according to the outlet. Well, I would think so. The Holy C-S-E, oh, that's cute, press office has not released a statement about the desecration. It's unclear if the man was arrested or charged. Well, let me tell you something. If he wasn't, I'm going to go wild at midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Take a dump

in one of the pews. Get it, Pew. Hey, you hear that rim shot from Texas. St. Peter's Basilica is one of the most sacred places in the Roman Catholic churches. I tried to, and I told you this, when I was a little kid, I tried to drink the holy water. I saw, you know, my mother would dip in there. And look what it did to me. I'm a devil. Roman Catholic Church is Bay City and is closely tied to the popes who have all delivered mass within its walls.

In April, Pope Francis was laid in the. basilica not that way in response uh in response in response in response to his heart stopping he was late the Pope Francis was late in the basilica and repose uh for public viewing before his funeral that's a little creepy too and there's one in there right Dallas have you been in there yeah there's the there's a pope in there in the glass box right and it's yeah it's weird I mean, the guy, I mean, from like a long time ago. They got him in like a fish tank.

And he's laying there with his pointy shoes. It's fucking kind of creepy. Because of its notoriety, though, the altar where the Pope delivers mass is a frequent target of attack. In February, a man climbed on top of the altar and knocked six candelabras to the ground. When they asked why, he says, I hate Liberacee. True story. In June 2023, a nude Polish man leapt onto the altar.

Holy, you guys might want to put up some chicken wire or an electric fence. Polish guy, nude, jumps onto the altar. He didn't say or do much beyond that. Well, you don't really have to when you're nuts arresting on the altar. But he did have the words, save children of Ukraine, scrawled on his back. you didn't have to take your pants off it's on your back after that act

the Vatican performed a penitential right to cleanse the grounds also known as a power hose also known as the Pope's power hose oh my god let's move on to ex-quarterback sat

legally. Mark Sanchez has been booked into an Indianapolis jail yesterday morning after he was finally released from the hospital more than a week. This is an update on a story covered after he allegedly assaulted an elderly truck driver in an altercation that resulted in the former Jets quarterback being stabbed. Video shows a limping Sanchez, 38 years old, with his arm in a sling entering the Marion County Jail to be fingerprinted and have his mugshot taken. Leaving the jail, he told reporters he was focused on his recovery as he thanked all the first responders, if you don't believe me. And he's trying to, he's very subdued, and he's kind of almost playing the victim here,

at least with his tone. There you go. Mark, is there anything you want to see to the people of Indianapolis? He goes, yeah, Coltsuck! Right now I'm just, uh, look, focus on my recovery. How about your sobriety? I just wanted to thank the, um, the first responders. And the defensive ends and.

Escanazi Hospital. Escan. I just want to thank Dr. Mosler, the surgeon. There's a woman, I think. Oh. Fake sniff. She saved my life. She saved your life.

I'm grateful for that. Sorry, I can't answer all that. You're feeling. You better. Thank you, guys. How do you feel about the wishbow? She's not asking a football question. Let's go back to the ass fumble.

Yeah, I want to thank God for, you know. Give me the strength to almost kill a 69-year-old truck driver. Oh, my God. Askenazi. You got folks, you know what Askenazi is? it's a type of Jewish person. They are the smartest people on the planet, even ahead of the Asians.

Askenazi Jews. Clearly, I have none of that in me. Gutfeld does. Gutfeld has like a couple percent. I remember him telling me. So I always call him Jew. Seems more German to me. He can now leave the state of Indiana.

After he can't say that about the... Colts are pretty good this year. They also porked me. after he was charged with felony battery and several misdemeanors following the shocking incident in Indianapolis on the morning of October 4th. How are we already in the middle of October?

Do anybody else feel this way that months or weeks now? It's the only thing that gives me the willies. You and I were just excited because baseball season was, I don't get it. And folks who are young,

you'll it's weird like I said it's the old toilet or the water in the sink it gets faster that's what it feels

like slow it down that's why I stay up till two make the day longer then I'm useless the next day Sanchez who was in a nap town

that's the name of a town a bunch of lazy fucks to cover last Sunday's cults raided NFL clash allegedly body slammed a 69 year old grease truck driver

after confronting him blocking the alley the fuck what are you doing in the alley they said he was running sprints at at midnight oh all the reason that might be true i remember reading stalone when he said what he was doing rambo he was so obsessed with being in shape he would get go out dancing and get shitfaced in miami and then go to the gym shit faced three in the morning It fucking worked out. Oh my God.

The probably had blowing him. You can really squeeze out a couple extra reps when you have an eight ball flowing through you. The retired quarterback was also reportedly seen behaving erratically when he played for the Jets. No, on surveillance video in the half an hour before the attack, video showed him stumbling in the streets before confronting the truck driver. Perry Toll. He looks like a preemie. The alleged victim said he stabbed Sanchez in the chest, and I believe this in self-defense,

after he was feared the ex-pro athlete was going to kill him. Then he realized it was a jet, and he put the knife away. He was found with a deep cut to his cheek, was he ever? Oh, in the alley after Sanchez allegedly attacked him. Sanchez climbed into his truck to attack him. He probably smelled French Fried. told his suit Sanchez and his employer Fox Sports

I like to be the guy for Fox Sports What the fuck did we have to do with it? Sue the bartender Which put him on leave They should let him go on the air Drunk and beat up He claimed Sanchez Stank of booze during the encounter

Close to a Leff Miller's pub At Eatery in downtown Indiana I wonder if that's the pub We did a show Me and Artie on Super Bowl Week From a pub probably the same one. I don't know.

And that weekend was when I found out they didn't like me. Somebody didn't. I remember my wife calling the station when we were doing the show and said, oh, and told the producer to tell me to calm down. Anyways.

One of the pub's employees treated Sanchez injuries. She rubbed jalapeno peppers on his ass. Good night, everybody. Before an ambulance arrived. Out of all the ex-quarterback, I guess he's still young, strong, and drunk enough. I was going to say Joe Namath would see him pushing insurance and fucking hearing aids. His hair is still dark.

Guy's 107. Speaking of football. Good segue. lie in attacks. A fight broke out at the end of the chief. You guys watched your chiefs last night? Another one I had wrong. Detroit looked like world beaters for the last couple weeks.

What's so funny is I, maybe I should do some, again, this isn't real money, so it's no big deal. That's why I don't, but this is me. Every time I pick a team, the first thing I hear, and they always do this, before the game, you look at who's injured, and it always says questionable. They won't really tell you. I don't care what the source is, the internet. a paper, ESPN, it always says questionable. And then the first minute of the game, like last night, they're like, Detroit, literally, they put up like seven starting defensive backs who are on the injured reserve list.

And I'm like, what the fuck? And the Chiefs have looked mediocre, right? Not a bad pick. And Detroit was getting a couple points. Come on. Anyways, Chiefs looked like World Beat is last night. A fight broke out at the end of the game. After the game was over, the Lions in Detroit had a nice fight.

A defensive back, Brian Branch, slap Kansas City. Slap? Look more like a pun. Receiver, Juju Smith Schuster. He still keeps his maiden name. I don't know why they do that. The brawl occurred just after the chief's quarterback, Pat Mahomes, kneeled down to run out the rest of the clock, and I turned the channel right to baseball, so I didn't see any of it.

And the players started to shake hands. Branch walked right by Isaiah Pachek. and snub the handshake from Mahomes before getting into the face of Smith Schuster and slapping the Kansas City Chief Receiver. Here's that video. Ranch walking by. Mahomes extends the hand to him.

Put him up. Doesn't respond. Does put his hand out. Jujo Smith-Schuster saw that. And then Bram up. Put-em-A. And he gives Juju a shot. He goes down like he's shot.

who goes down and that's where the whole thing began was Pacheco Branch. It's kind of fun. And other players involved, including Trent McDuffie. The crowd's still doing this in the background. The league's going to take action on that one

against Branch. Oh yeah. Especially Branch who has a history of multiple fines fight three times this year already. Branch is, I love defensive backs. It's just vicious little people. The situation quickly got under control as cooler heads prevailed. Following the loss, Branch explained the blow came out of frustration after

he was blocked from behind in the back illegally by Smith Shoester at the end of the game in front of officials. And this is where I know you're thinking when I'm thinking. I hear Branch and he's a tough guy. I mean, you're in the NFL. They, this is his quote, they trying to bully me out there. He said, well, also adding, he shouldn't have did it in regards to the skirmish. It was childish, Branch said, but I'm going to show you what he said, and that's not what he said.

He said what he did. He's speaking very low, so you can turn this up, but he's speaking very low, so I can see why the reporter got it wrong, but he said, I did something childish out there, is what he says at the beginning. And even at the end,

I think he's talking about himself. It doesn't sound like it, but, but here it is. Let me start with this. Oh, that's the coach. I'm sorry. I love Brown Branch, but what he did is inexcusable. Dan Campbell, it looks like he can play tomorrow. It's not what we do. It's not what we're about.

I apologize to Coach Reed and the Chiefs and, you know, and Schuster. That's not okay. That's not what we do here. Pause. It's not what we all do. I love how they play this saintly. It's not what we do here. Yes, we knew he was a rapist and a murder when we drafted him, but we don't slap people. By the way, I just made that up.

He's not any of those things. I didn't give you him talking? I really didn't, did I? God damn it. Well, that's a branch that. I did something. He was mumbling, though. But then he brought up Schuster, hitting him in the back,

and they'd be bully him out there. Then he sounded like he said, but still childish. I thought he was wrong back to himself. I could be wrong. Anyways, it's not the Kennedy assassination. Let's move on, asshole. All right. End of, end of, we got a top 25, college football.

You know how we all feel about it. I would say the most impressive performance this weekend. Dallas, you were doing the right thing, family business. Indiana, went into Oregon, who was what, number two? Two or three? Indiana was, I don't know, nine or ten, went in there and took care of business. It's the first time Indiana has beat a top five team and I don't know. But they were impressive.

They are going to be, I think they're going to make some noise in the playoffs. And why is it a big deal? Because for years they've stunk. But the last few years, they've been good. They've been getting ranked, you know, or close to it. But they went into Oregon, which is a tough place to play, even when Oregon stinks and they don't stink. They were like number three, two or three.

And that was very impressive. Another big story. Penn State, folks. Penn State won their first three games this year. And then A4 mentioned Oregon came to town. Well, they went out there. It doesn't matter. It was Penn State's biggest game in years.

If they went over the biggest story than Sandusky when they found 12 altar boys, and his bedroom. So, yeah, that was the game for them. If they won it, it was, they said this is, and last year they almost made it to, Notre Dame knocked them out in the playoffs. They almost made it to the national game.

And their coach is a guy named Franklin, who's known for not winning the big one. It's what Penn State's been bitching about for years. So they lose to Oregon. Next, the next week they go to UCLA, who was 0 and 4 at that point. Oh, and 4. Rank, they weren't even fucking,

knew they were alive. They lose to 0 and 4 UCLA. Then just to complete the trifecta, this weekend, they're back at home, Happy Valley, right? Against Northwestern, who's not ranked, right? They lose 22 to 21. They dropped three in a row. When's the last time Penn State dropped three in a row? And guess what? The crowd's chanting, fire Franklin, fire Franklin, fire guess what they listen to the crowd bye bye gone why is that a big story

because he just signed the $49 million contract a couple years ago right so they have to get him 49 mil if I'm him I'm happy as a pig of shit I get 50 mil in the bank and I'm fishing and golfing the rest of the year

and I'll let it die down I'll do that shit for a year or two till people forget I'm a mediocre coach and then I'll jump back in the ranks And coach Northwestern. And Coach Northwestern, yeah. That guy got a raw deal at Northwestern. What was his name, Fitzpatrick?

He was a linebacker. I still remember. I think it's Fitzpatrick. He was a linebacker for Northwest, number 50. It was great, all-American, blah, blah, blah. Then he took over the program and turned it around, made them very good. They were ranked up. And then there was some hazing going on with some freshmen, and they traced it back.

They wanted him gone anyways. And they traced it. I think he's suing them. As a matter of fact, I read that. And you guys don't care about that, but I'm just giving you the dope. Anyways, Ohio State is number one in the country. They look like they could beat half the NFL teams. I'm not shitting you.

Miami's 5 and 0. They're number 2, which hasn't happened since the 80s. Indiana is number 3. Texas A&M. I didn't realize they were still undefeated. 6 at all. Ole Miss, number 5. Alabama is 6.

Alabama is 1 3 in a 3. row and beat SEC teams. They've won four in a row. I'd say five in a row because they lost the first game. The article I said it, it said three. Oh, no, three SEC teams maybe. Yeah. Yeah, they're five and one.

Georgia got by by the skin of their teeth. You should be excited. Arbin looked like a real program. They did. What do you think? You're going to turn around to go 11 and 0? It takes time. In his third year

And we couldn't do shit The second half Didn't make any adjustments He's the same thing with Franklin Can't win the big games You haven't played in a big game Forever When

We played Georgia in Alabama every year Oh I'm talking big game Like playoffs You're not gonna fucking There's no shame And losing to Georgia Alabama Yeah Anyways

It was questionable The call Did you see it Dallas to play? It was questionable. Honestly, first I said, oh, it looks like he crossed the line. But the more they showed it, I thought I saw the ball moving, even before the guy touched it. So, still have to play a whole second half a football.

Yeah, no, that's exactly right. The announcers were talking like if they scored, well, at least the fans, oh, we would have, you know, it would have been 17 nothing. Anyways, it was controversial yet, no, controversial. I'm just saying, I think the future is brighter than it has been in a while. Just get a black quarterback who can run. I know. Wait, who do you go? I don't even know.

Georgia's 5 and 1. Texas Tech 6 and 0. They're number 8. Oregon is number 9 now. They drop from 2 to 9 after. That's cool, huh? Like 2 or 3, and they reverse spots. Nice.

LSU, 5 and 1. Tennessee, LSU's number 10. Tennessee's number 11 at 5 and 1. Georgia Tech is number 12 at 6 and 0. They're probably going to get in respect. 13, Oklahoma. They have quite the defense this year. Did they, they, they, no, Texas beat them. Texas beat them in the old shootout.

So Oklahoma's 13. BYU is undefeated. They're 14. Notre Dame mediocre, four and two. They're 15. I think that's being generous. Missouri took a spanking from Alabama. That was a tight game.

No, that was a good one. Yes. Alabama, right? Yeah. Yes, that was a very good game. They're number 16. Texas is 17. Vanderbilt, having a great year for them.

18. Virginia, nobody saw that coming. Or Memphis. 18 and 19, respectfully. 19 and 20. I'm just making up. They don't know. It's what they do on ESPN.

USC, who's playing Notre Dame this weekend. That's kind of a good one, no matter what the records are. They're 21. Utah is 22. South Florida is 23. Cincinnati. They're always dangling around 24, 25. They're 24. Travis Kelsey's old school. And the Illinois team, they got spanked. Right? Who spanked them? I forget. Pittsburgh. Am I right? Yeah, it was an upset because Pitt was unranked. We've got some big games coming up this week. What do we got this weekend? Well, there's LSU Vandy.

I apologize for my gay fans out there. LSU Vandy. Good one. That's probably the best one. Yep. And then there is Tennessee and Alabama, which will be second best. Always good.

Always good. Those are good. Utah, BYU. Oh. And I'll be home for it. Don't forget this week, folks. Wednesday. morning, I'll be on Crowder live.

I'm going to Texas tomorrow after the show. Wednesday and Thursday morning, I'll be on Crowder. Thursday evening of this Thursday coming, October 16, Zanis in Nashville. That's this Thursday. I hope to see you guys out there. Go to Nicktip.com. Go to the merchandise page.

There's a ton. We have a ton of merchandise hats, mugs, stuff that nobody sells. Golf clubs, plastic hips, fake tits. It's marked on. Go to nickadip.com. Don't forget cameo. As we were doing the show, I got a cameo coming in.

If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative, say happy birthday to grandma or say congratulations to a few of the Jews I got home today. Go to cameo.com. And I'd love to do that for you. What else? That it? I can't even. That's it, folks. for a Monday. Keep an eye

on the news. It's a big deal what Trump's doing. It's insanely whether you're, you know, and I'm sure a lot of people are pissed. He's a puppet of his. I know, I know, I know. Anyways, it makes for good TV. Just look at it like that. Okay? Like the riots. I miss the riots.

I know people died and buildings burned, but I was in my recliner, popcorn. Nothing funny than watching a black dude run out of a store with 400 diapers. that's it you guys think and I'll say very welcome we'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time all right take care everybody hi good night everybody Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, and so much.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You know, I'm going to be. Oh. Oh. You know, I'm going to be able to be.

Thank you.