The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Retaliates For US Troops Killed! | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1923
Episode Date: July 20, 2026In today's episode Nick talks about A Dog Rescued in SF, Locked Up Meat, SD Card Exposes Pedo, A Tranny Loses It and Maher Defends Louis! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join ou...r LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy! https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to the show.
Trump said, those are the same company that did the fireworks.
On the 4th of July, like what they did.
See nothing like it.
Sent them to tear.
Holy moly.
Let me tell you something, folks.
You got a problem with that.
Go fuck yourself.
Anyways, welcome to the live lineup,
ladies and gentlemen,
where all these shows all day are free.
If you want to watch ad-free,
just join Rumble Premium.
Don't forget to follow my channel
and download the Rumble app.
Today I'll be talking about,
well, we have a story about it.
I threw some light ones in there.
Mondays can get heavy with the news
because of the weekend build-up.
So I threw in about a dog,
swimming in the middle of nowhere,
being attacked by seagulls.
Turns out it was Joy Behar.
What's going on?
Also, L.A. so fucked up or California,
they're locking up their meat.
Was that L.A.?
It was, wasn't that?
Yeah, I think it was a supermarket in Lally.
Locking up, they have to lock up stakes and shit.
I wonder who and why.
Also, somebody finds a SD card, you know, from a phone,
and guess what?
It exposed a Pito, and they found the motherfucker.
Also, a tranny, it says loses it, but I think it's just a Tuesday for a tranny.
You'll want to put a gun in this guy slash girl's mouth.
He set the trains moving back just with this clip.
I'd say about 30 years before we even knew they existed.
Back in the good old days, when they dressed up like women hung out at a gas station.
Didn't bother us.
Bill Maher defends my boy Louis C.K.
And before I forget, Louis got a new special.
I think it came out last week on Netflix.
call ridiculous. I watched it. A solid hour went by like it was five minutes because,
and let me tell you something. I don't care if you go, well, it's because you knew him or whatever,
you're good friends with him. The best comic ever to, I know something about this. Give me a little
fucking credit. He is the best comic bar none. Living legends, dead ones. Maybe not now. He'll go
down in fucking history once people, you know how it is. You're appreciated after you're gone.
This kid could turn out one of these a month when I tell you. I know. I know. I know.
know him as good as anybody.
And just you don't know where he's going.
Then he's profane for no reason, but it's smart.
Profane.
He knows just how to walk to that.
Well, there is no edge.
He'll fucking shock it.
And then come back with something so profound, you'll be shaking your head.
He is, and just plain funny on top of it.
I've watched.
Anyways, I'm shooting my load here.
That's about it.
And anyways, one other thing.
People that don't like Trump don't want to fly to the airport in Palm Beach that's named after him.
That's all you need to do about the left.
I am so, and I know you know where I'm going, but I'm so fucking tired of their insaneness,
and they're just, they're, what's the fucking word, where they disagree with everything,
just to disagree, and they can't back up their ideas, they have to attack people.
I can't take it at it.
It's beyond exhausting.
You know, black fatigue?
This is 20,000 times worse to me.
These are supposed to be leaders.
God, I hope they all die of slow death.
Not like my boy, Lindsay.
Fucking had a heart attack, and he's got a fucking,
you don't want to meet substituting his hand.
That we don't fucking need.
Anyways.
So, yeah, don't forget, I'll show a clip.
I grab a clip.
I watch a Louis special.
So then I go online, and just because the specials out now,
They put up clips of other specials.
Some of them I had missed.
So I grabbed one of those.
They're all so good, I just grabbed a chunk for you.
That's about a pedophilia, of course.
That's his idea of mellowing out after he gets in trouble.
Yeah, so we'll look at that.
Folks, it's hilarious that I've been harping on the Red Sox.
It's not just a winning streak anymore.
They've won 22 out of 24.
Best record in baseball for about five weeks now.
That's not a fucking accident.
But that's not the story.
The story is who they're doing it with.
First day in spring training,
you wouldn't know half these guys.
They keep bringing up these pitches or lefties.
They're all 6-6-240.
And they're not,
and some of them throw smoke,
but other ones have all kinds of junk.
It's like, where did you get these fucking people?
And then we get a guy,
we got some journeymen from the Detroit Tigers,
Jemai Johnson, his name is.
Comes up to bat Saturday.
It's first at bat at Fenway.
Homers.
It's just been one of those, I can't explain it.
Sox guy lays down a bun to third baseline and it fucking, you know,
or maybe it was a Tampa guy.
No, it's fucking rolling, foul.
Then it bounces fair at the last second for no reason.
They scored three runs without getting a hit in one inning.
You know, groundball, the third, Tampa's third baseman,
goes to throw home and it hits our guy in the back and another run.
Shit, that was, I've never seen anything like it.
I don't know what the fuck.
Maybe Babe Ruth's ghost has AIDS and he died and somehow this triggers.
I don't know.
It is the weirdest thing.
Everybody talking about it in baseball.
Yeah, so how about they're going for win number 14 tonight?
How about Tampa Bay came into Fenway where we had the worst record at home?
for the whole season of pretty much
until we swept the Yankees
about right before the winning street.
We swept the Yankees four.
Nats came in and took two out of three
and then we went on this winning street.
We've swept four series in a row.
Not, we didn't win four series,
but we swept four.
Against Tampa.
Tampa, first place Tampa comes in.
We take four from them.
Do you know we're only five behind the Yankees now?
A month ago, we were 13.
What the fuck?
And again, it's not about the numbers to me.
It's about the guys we're doing it with.
I just have never heard half the...
We've got a guy named Ching.
What the fuck?
I think he...
You know, I think he was the cook at Fenway.
He's that short playing an...
Fucking Durbin, the third basement,
he's hitting 168, two months into the season.
He's been hitting since then 3.40 or some shit with nine home runs.
And of course, Contreras.
Contreras comes back from his suspension.
We didn't have him for five games.
by the way. What's he do his first time up? It goes deep. I love him. He's a hot-headed. I'd hate
him on any other team. I admit it. I'd fucking hate it because there's too much of this shit.
But you know what? Yeah, I'm biased right now. He backs it up. This guy plays an impeccable
first base. He's got what now 21 homas in some, he's having a career year and he's a fucking
preying a law star by the way. Anyways, I know you guys are sick, but what can you say? It's funny that
I was bragging about this team at the beginning of the year.
And it wasn't really this team.
Some of the players.
But most of them, the Roman Anthony's,
the Trevor Storries, our ace, crochet, and Rangers swore.
We're missing, starting pitching during this streak.
Nobody told us we were this deep pitching while.
I kept that a secret.
All as I know is a lot of people, including myself,
old fucking Craig Bredslow, whatever his name is.
baseball operations got an apology.
I'm telling you.
And I don't see this stopping.
The fact that they went into Fenway where they have sucked all year
and took those four from the Yankees like a month ago
and then we just wiped the floor with the...
It is the weirdest thing.
One of the weirdest things I've seen in sports.
That's it.
I know you're sick of that, but I can't help it.
And I don't know where it goes.
Hey, they could lose an X-10.
That's baseball.
You know how that is.
but I don't think so.
The pitching is elite.
And they're talking about
they're talking about getting rid of
Sunny Gray. Sunny Gray is 12
and 1. He won 11
of those when they sucked.
With an ERA of 2. What is it?
2.3, whatever the fuck, and he didn't
make the All-Star team.
And Chapman, or Rallis Chapman,
he's pitching like he's 22 again.
And they're still talking about moving these guys at the
break. They were.
Very interesting. All right. Let's talk about
something you guys like how about the world cup
fuck you
not even going to mention it other than that
mention I just did
who gives a shit
apparently Trump had to show up
oh people are marketing
fucking
anyways
I guess that's it
I cut the grass
half of it
I'm like my uncle Bob now
cuts his toenails he does one foot
that he waited three days into the other.
That's in the book.
It's a true story.
That was his work, Heather.
Fucking loved him.
Don't want to make him out to be like a late.
He was just, he had a tough upbringing, man.
No father, no brother.
And really, almost drank himself to death right after the, yeah.
He was supposed to be in the car when his brother and his dad get killed when he was 16.
And you wonder why he hit the, you know, but still a lovable, colorful fucking guy who scuba died until he was.
my cousin took him on his 80th birthday to the Cayman Islands to scuba dive.
We made him quit at like 76.
He wouldn't.
He almost got hit by a boat.
His partner that he went with goes, we have to stop.
He wouldn't.
He wanted to die under there.
My cousin takes him to the Cayman Islands a few years after he had quit scuba dive to scuba dive,
so he could actually be underwater and sea shit instead of the Black Atlantic.
But he had put on so much weight he couldn't get deep enough.
When you're fat, you're buoyant.
He couldn't really get deep.
He was furious.
God is a dick.
Unbelievable.
I think his book's going to be fucking hilarious.
Let's get to it.
Sorry, folks, for a fucking yap.
Oh, speaking of, I'm starting with rough waters.
I guess we shall.
You know what?
Because it was last week.
I meant to hit this during the...
Durka, Durka.
Mohammed Shihad.
Haka, Sherpa.
That was...
That was supposed to be turned the open.
bombing sequence. Rough waters are Uff. Who's funny than me about a lot of people after that
joke. A missing dog survived a terrifying ordeal in San Francisco Bay battling through
rough waters and AIDS. That's the story. Let's move on to weather. And a flock of attacking
seagulls, even in fucking San Francisco, the fiends have an attitude. They think they're
Oh, the fucking French fries.
Before a firefighter's pulled off a dramatic rescue,
the small pop was found struggling in the marsh
near Cooley Landing Park in East Palo Alto.
That's where all the, you know what?
Palo Alto's where all the fucking tech wizas
have trillion-dollar homes and shit.
My buddy Murph lived out there for a while.
Nearly two weeks after vanishing on the 4th of July.
The dog was missing since the 4th of July.
The East Palo Alto
Police Department captured the wild rescue
on camera. I love how they put
music to it like they were saving a 12-year-old
migrant girl.
Oh, shut up, it ain't that cold.
The saga began when a witness
spotted the dog running into the water
away from a guy in a banana hammock
and a rubber on the other hand.
Swimming away from a shore,
promptly a 911 call.
Officers responded at 3.26 p.m.
and crews from the Menlo Park Fire Protection District.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
The fire department?
The protection district?
Are there other districts you don't protect?
Shut the fuck up.
I'm so sick of the language games.
Firefighters used binoculars to spot the canine
before using a drone to pinpoint its location.
I notice the air is struggling a little bit today.
You notice?
Yeah, like last year.
My house is like a fucking, you grow tomato plants in it.
The goddamn, all that money are put into the fucking crawl space.
Now I'm going to have to breathe down these guys next.
I'm always at work when they come, and I really do still think that hasn't changed.
If a woman's there, you know, but they take pictures of everything too.
And they, you know, so it's hard to lie.
They show, you know, but anyways, I'm just going to stand there and go, hey,
I know a good lawyer.
Fix the fucking thing.
I lost 11 pounds watching the Red Sox.
Anyways.
Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger. No, Will Robinson.
Wow. That came in hot. Sorry.
A crew
aboard a Menlo's fire
airboat, 77. Ooh, that's the good one.
We're shown snatching
the pup from the water, wrapping it in a
firefighter's coat, and
giving it a handjob and throwing it back like a
fucking trout that was too small.
Look at that little face. After bringing the pup
back to shore, rescuers examined it and found
an open wound on its left cheek.
from a seagull strike, you, Phil.
Fucking seagulls.
I remember we had a boat would go fishing.
As soon as you start cleaning the fish,
you fucking look up,
there's literally fucking 1,100 seagulls.
It's like the fucking Hitchcock movie.
The dog was then taken into the care of animal control,
later transferred the Peninsula Humane Society,
where the staff were able to identify the owners
and reunite them with a missing pet
so they could neglect him again.
How'd you lose your dog?
Why the fuck?
What's that?
And that badly.
That's what I mean.
It's like when a foster kid,
it's like when a foster kid, they go to the house
and he's getting beat up, and they fucking take him away from the parents,
and they put him back with him like a month later,
and then the kid's dead.
I'm not saying this is the case with a dog.
The dog maybe found another dog he wanted to bang on the island of fucking whatever,
El Contras.
Anyways, I know folks, you forgot I was a stand-up.
I do get a little irked when I'm on the line
and they're like, where's DePaulo? Hey, where you bet? What do you do? Oh, I don't know.
38 years I thought I'd take a few months off. Do your jobs.
November 5th, I'll be the punchline in Atlanta. Hey, there's a coup.
November 6th, the River Casino in Philadelphia. November 7th,
that sold Jolz and Potsdam, PA. Go to Nick Dip.com to get tickets before they're sold out.
And they might be, because let me tell you, I'm killing it on fucking social media.
The numbers are fucking, I gotta hand it to this company that I'm,
you know why, they're putting out everything that ever came out of my mouth on stage.
And I think there's a whole new, hopefully, there's a whole new generation
who, you know, they think Shane Gillis is edgy.
Then they watch me and go, what the fuck?
And that's not a shot at Shane Gillis.
You know why I brought up Shane Gillis just now?
Do you guys, anybody out there?
You know why.
I went online last night on X, big stories.
It was everywhere.
Shane Gillis sets
Guinness World Record for tickets sold for one show
at Lincoln
what is it, Lincoln Memorial, where the Eagles play.
Dallas.
That stadium.
And the field.
I went to AI go, what does Shane Gillis make,
and AI goes, well, at average $40 a ticket,
$2.1 million for the night.
I mean, he still has to pay the venue and security,
but so what?
he'll do it again next whatever but literally and and i he's a funny smart guy i love him i do but
i'm just saying it it's still shocked me because he doesn't have that huge personality most you know
steve martin with an arrow through the head playing his banjo dice clay those type of people you know
i mean i understand dice was doing madison square garden before anybody but i'm just saying they're
usually big personalities.
Or on the other hand, you get guys like Louis who are so goddamn talented that people,
every once in a while people do recognize the real, you know.
Not that those other guys weren't, but I'm just saying it surprised me because, like I said,
Shane Gillis, he's not an overstated, which is, which I love that people, but it's also
a perfect storm.
He gets fired at SNL.
That becomes a national story, right?
and he was doing a podcast with another guy who I don't even I forget the name of it that became
huge on the internet and uh and then Lauren Michael says you know let's put him back on SNL
and then you know and that's it that's sometimes it makes a difference folks so uh I'm happy
for anybody I was just surprised that it would be Shang Gillis you know I knew he was doing big
numbers but holy moly good for you brother anybody that beats the system anyways speaking of that
You know, if you don't want to go to see Shane Gillers, buy a fucking hat for me.
It's just as fun.
That's my new catch.
Go to Nick Dipp and buy some stuff.
That supports the show, all the hoodies and underwire bras and tampons.
Also, you want to send a personalized video to someone?
I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to.
Book that at shoutout.us.
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Everybody knows you never go full retail.
Oh, bullshit. And our West Coast stupid, the West Coast stupid segment.
First it was spray paint, then it was eyedrops, deodorant, so now even ground beef is under lock and key.
I love these stories because we have to pretend we don't know why this is and who's doing it.
And I don't even know, but I do know.
Do you know what I'm saying?
That's like there was a huge brawl at an In-N-Out burger in California, I think.
It doesn't matter, Phoenix, somewhere Arizona this weekend.
read the headline, do you really, really think the whole world doesn't go, let me guess.
They never let you down.
Fucking Polish.
San Jose Walmart has reportedly taken anti-theft measures to a new level.
What did I say?
Where is it?
What did I just read?
San Jose.
California.
Third world shit hole.
Placing pricey cuts of beef, even packages of ground meat.
What do you mean even packages of ground meat?
I love ground meat.
Ask me about this casserole I made.
I'll fucking put 40 pounds on you looking at it.
How was that casserole you made?
Oh, my God.
See, Dallas knows.
Dallas knows damn well.
Even then, he asked me, I didn't know what he was asking me about.
That's how bad my...
They're putting fire logs under...
That's what that is, isn't it?
A duralog?
Either that or a pawn star's cock!
Placing pricey cuts of beef and even packages of ground meat
inside metal security gate is to keep
would-be shoplifters
at bay. Influencer
Tony Bartleson, better known
online as Meat Dad. That was
my dad's nickname, by the way. He had a
couple flings in the neighborhood.
One of them with a girl. Now listen.
What?
Anyways, Tony Meat Dad posted a video.
We've had him on before.
We posted a clip of him.
Remember the supermarket was fucking people over
with the weight or whatever, and he caught
him? He's a fucking
He's a supermarket detective.
Posted a video from inside the California store
showing the ribby at Walmart, right?
By the way, you're buying you.
Hey, I'm short as good as anywhere and cheap as anywhere.
I'm just saying, I don't want to buy my fucking ribbyes
where I get my snow tires and my fucking lamps.
And ground beef wrapped in wire security devices.
Here's the devices and here's Tony.
Meet Dad.
There it is.
Welcome to California.
I found it.
That's the stuff right here.
Stakes.
Under.
I'm guessing that.
Oh, I understand.
It has the thing,
the alarm thing when you try to run out.
Fuck it.
If you've got to go all the way,
make it embarrassing.
Tie, put a chain and rope on it.
Right?
Or the die that money does.
Yes.
Yes.
Guys leaving with a.
Pound the pork chops, they explode purple all over.
Oh my God, yes.
The clips racked up more than 3.8 million views.
You know why?
Because people can't believe it themselves.
My hope is that we can get not.
Now, here's where I have a problem with this guy, Mr. Meat Dad, Mr. Bartelson.
Here comes.
What he is is a lib in whatever clothing.
He doesn't quite get it.
He's doing the right thing by exposing this.
But listen to mentality.
read his quote and halfway through it
I go he doesn't get it either. My
hope is that we can get to a point where
measures like this aren't necessary
anymore. Where
people don't have to steal just
to eat.
Nobody has to steal
in this country to eat.
Nobody.
There's so many government tits
to suck off of. Just do the
paperwork.
Do you have a look at the SNAP program, what
they send?
that was on Crowder's show
and he had all the products they sent
literally caviar was on there
prime rib
I'm not making the shit up
for poor people
by the way
so this nitwit
immediately does what
blames our society
they don't have to steal
just to eat
it's funny we got a lot of
poor fat fucks don't we
and I guarantee their relatives
are doing the steal and stores
don't have to lock up food and he's saying we want to live
at a world where stores don't have to lock up food
everyone has reliable access to the necessities
that they need
your tears are so yummy and sweet oh the tears of
unfathomable sadness yummy yummy yeah eat those
wash them down with those tears and that's silly
and that's no they're stealing you know why
because I'll tell you what a ribide taste ten
times better when it's free.
End the fucking story.
And as long as we don't have the boss, God is making it easy.
I got to go home and write this in my book.
This is what'll ruin me the book, but it has to be said.
I mean, God made it easy.
He labeled certain species to make it easy to identify who's doing the bad
shit.
It's not all of them.
Yes, I know this.
I'm just saying for every white person on food stamps that steal something,
Actually, there's probably more people, white people, on food stamps.
I understand that.
But for everyone that chopper's a steak, I'll point to a whole other group.
There'll be 12 times as much.
Look it up yourself.
Okay?
I think most of us, here he is again, Mr. Meat Dad.
Should call him Mr. Meathead.
I think most of us want to live in a world where people can put food on the table with dignity.
And I hope we continue moving in that direction he added.
Do you see?
Do you see?
you're going to listen to shit like that and go
how did he get there in his head? Oh, that's right. Years and years
of being told how unfair this country is.
Oppressed versus the oppressor. Poor versus the rich.
Continue to move in that direction.
We live in a country with people can put food on the table
with dignity. Yeah, we do, shithead.
The poorest people eat as good as I do.
Nothing wrong with government cheese,
by the way. I don't think they have that anymore.
I was making fun of that when I...
I love you, Nick. Thank you for taking me on this cruise.
You're welcome, honey. Anything for you.
Holy fuck.
I was going to send that to you and then I didn't. And you got it anyways.
Did Lee send that to you?
I did? To play on the show?
See what I'm saying, guys? I get Alzheimer's.
What's funny is I just realized that was supposed to be Andy.
I was at another bra. It was kind of a...
Let's look at it again, can we?
Lee Priest did this, by the way, folks.
This is what he does on an 18-hour trip from Jen.
I love you, Nick.
Thank you for taking me on this cruise.
You're welcome, honey. Anything for you.
Holy fuck.
Blaming her.
Whose voice is that?
Oh, Jesus.
Thank you for taking me on this cruise.
You're welcome, honey. Anything for you.
Holy fuck.
This is just a...
Fuck, I'm great.
That was Andy's body.
That was somebody else's head, but I know my wife's body.
Holy fucking.
That's Lee Priest's work.
He's playing with AI on a flight.
Literally.
Goes from Australia to, where did he go to?
Yes, to Shanghai, to London.
He shows me, and I literally throw up on my mouth.
He shows me and how they show you the plane.
And he's a fucking, little legally, man.
I don't know how.
He must be getting paid serious, though.
Let's move on.
Memory card leads to sickos arrest.
This is a good one.
Excuse me.
Law enforcement officials said a search warrant.
Did you hear the whistle?
Because of a fake teeth.
Of a 40-year-old man's devices
led to the discovery of hundreds of thousands
of child porn images and videos.
Hey, little boy.
You want some candy?
The disturbing discovery was made after the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department
was contacted by workers at Stater Brothers grocery store in the picturesque mountain town of Lake Arrowhead.
You ever been up there?
It's fucking gorgeous, man.
Me and Andy went up there.
Every time I hear it, I think of Ray Romano because his show just became huge.
And one of his writers was a stand-up.
who I didn't really know, Tom Calabianco, I want to say his name,
is I might have met him once or twice.
But anyways, he texted me going, hey, Ray's show is looking for writer.
This is when I first came out.
So I wandered down there onto the set.
They take a golf card.
I got my name at the gate and shit.
Tom did all that.
I get in there and I show up and Ray's looking at me.
He goes, what are you doing here?
I'm like, what?
And then Lou Jewish guy, comedian from this.
New York, who was one of his writers, comes over to me and goes, and he could tell him, he's
disturbed.
He goes, what are you doing here?
And I go, Tom Calabianco said you guys were looking for writers.
He goes, no, we're not.
I go, wow, am I embarrassed?
Then he started laughing.
You know, Ray's like, oh, what are they doing?
Hey, get out of here.
We don't need you.
And I walked away with my tail between my legs.
And I'm like, did he do that on purpose?
I don't know where the wires get crossed on that one.
I guess they had hired somebody
right after he talked to me
and some bullshit.
But that would have been nice
I could have been retired
to the last 20 years.
But I think of that
because that happened
that embarrassing thing
and then me and Andy went away
like that weekend
Lake Arrowhead
and it's really pretty up there.
Saw a band in a bar
a cover band called
flock of turtles.
To this day
have never heard a better cover band
and they were doing
they did Zeppelin
a whole lot of love.
And you know, they stopped playing all those sound effects,
like drug fucking shit?
They didn't miss.
They must to analyze this shit.
I'd never, they'd go from that to do in Boston, you know,
to the stones.
Without missing Dallas, and you could tell they were older.
I run into the guy the next morning on his way in the park lot.
He's got his guitar case, the lead guitar.
I got, how long have you been playing that?
He was 41 years.
To this day, flock of turtles, folks.
I never heard anything like in my life.
We stayed there for like the whole three hours.
Surveillance video from the store
Ledly showed Quinn dropping
Quinn is the guy who had the micro-Sd.
What's the SD stand for?
Sour Dick?
Sourd bread.
Lacey doesn't look like a child pedophile of a guy.
Looks like Joe Dirt's sister, Sharon Dirt.
Dropping the micro-SD memory card.
A worker found a micro-SD memory card
and turned it over to police
in June of 2026.
It's last month.
Deputies reviewed the card
and found thousands of digital media
depicting child pornography
that included infants.
Infants.
That's what makes me want to fucking...
Infants and juveniles
performing sexual acts.
Some of the media was generated
by artificial intelligence,
but a lot of it was real.
I don't understand it.
I don't.
I love...
And most of it, you know,
know this. When a guy like that goes to prison, the word gets out.
If he's not dead, he's almost dead. He's going to be raped for the next 30 years.
They don't like that shit. Even the cycles are in there for murder and shit. Because a lot of
them got, you know, investigators were able to connect the card to Adam James Quinn. Oh, that's
AQ. A resident of Lake Arrowhead. Surveillance video from the store allegedly show Quinn
accidentally dropping the microSD memory card.
You know?
Problem? You're the fucking problem.
You fucking Dr. White, onking jam rag,
arcane spunk bubble, I'm telling you,
you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.
I promise you.
Not this time.
Please watch that movie, folks.
Sexy Beast.
It's the greatest.
Who's the guy that played Gandhi?
Ben, Ben Kingsley.
He plays a scary little dude that I'm going to watch that again.
I haven't seen it in years.
Deputies then performed a search warrant at Quinn's residence
and seized other microcards as well as hard drives,
flash drives, laptops, other computers,
and his phone.
All very sticky, they said.
They allegedly found hundreds of thousands of child porn files on the device.
Let's go to the videotape.
Joey, do you ever hang around the gymnasium?
We better get back now, Joey.
No, Joey can stay here for a while if you'd like.
The casting.
And the playing sound.
It's so funny.
Quinn was arrested on Wednesday in charge of possession of child pornography
and spending too much time at Super Cuts.
Look at this fucking guy.
You couldn't, if you were casting, if you were casting a creep,
He'd be like...
Places the lotion in the basket.
Sounds like my wife on a honeymoon.
Places the lotion in the basket.
I want to see my mom.
Please know.
I want to see my...
I'm okay.
You're going to piss them off.
You keep talking like that.
Put the fucking lotion in the basket.
That's me at the beach with the wife.
I fuck me.
Yeah, that's me looking at me with the speed of one.
What a juicy roll, huh?
Tell me that guy didn't mail it.
Talk about getting pigeonholed.
But anyways, that guy, boy,
hundreds of thousand, with infants,
I can't even picture it, thank God.
I'm that normal, I guess.
I can't even, I don't.
Oh, my God.
And it's so prevalent.
That's a thing.
We hear about it.
I could report you.
These stories are every friggin.
And thank God there's some guys,
out there busting.
I just read one that I didn't tell you
about today, but a couple of those guys
that are like, you know,
what do you call? They're sort of rogue.
They go out there and just fucking
make calls and they track
one guy down. And the guy just admitted it.
He fucking, who did he work?
Oh, he worked for META!
He worked for, did I
put that in there or no?
No, but not today.
No.
No, this is another guy. This is brand new.
Yeah. All right, let's move on before I throw up.
And now for Nick's video of the day.
In our video of the day, vaudeville segment tonight,
viral police body cam video.
I'm going to give you a trigger warning here
because my blood pressure must have went up to 190
wanting to kill this guy slash girl.
Appears to show a self-described Trent.
Well, self-described, yes, they usually are.
And if you don't describe them the way they described themselves, they get very pissed.
Transgender.
I was going to put this under FLA, but I went, no.
A student freaking out on a campus police officer for misgendering him and then being hauled away in cuffs.
The footage shows a blue-haired university of Central Florida student.
By the way, huge school, identified as 27-year-old Jared.
Rick, screaming at a police officer after the cop arrived at a campus building for an unrelated
call.
Let me tell you something.
This clip here of this guy slash girl, whatever the fuck, even trannies, I swear to God,
even the ones that do mass shootings are looking at it going, he's giving us a bad
name.
This was so disturbing.
And, you know, people go, it's a mental illness.
This pretty much confirms that.
Not that all of them are this crazy,
but, you know, even the ones that are on jeopardy,
I think you could piss him off if Ken said,
and excuse me, sir,
Ken Jennings will get his face beat in,
and they do have one like once a month.
They have to, you know, put on a tranny
because it's in the law, I guess.
But this, this, I don't know how cops keep their wits about them.
If I, my gun on me, honest to God, I would be, and you think I'm exaggerate.
You're going to watch a lot of it, just to kill time.
No, it's so fucking disturbing because it grows.
He gets more disturbing.
And you're going to break something at home, I'm telling you.
Let it roll, fella.
On February 5th, 2025, officers responded to a college campus in reference to a disturbance.
What's the problem?
Why do you let those kids get away with this?
They are not supposed to be.
If you don't lower your voice, I am going to put handcuffs on you and I'm going to take you to a Baker Act facility.
Lower your voice.
Fucking try it.
Are you threatening me?
You're threatening me.
Are you threatening me?
I'm just, I'm just, I'm just saying, because I'm here right now to deal with a stolen vehicle.
I ain't got time to hear you screaming and yelling.
I don't have time to constantly be abused.
We'll get OPD down here.
I got, I got...
You talk about victim mentality?
He's the freak of nature, by the way, and acts like a fucking, you know, acts like a four-year-old.
And then when you go to enforce the law, he turns it around.
You're picking on me.
And that's not an isolated.
That's their mentality.
They're so mentally ill and then have had it, but not mentally ill enough to miss that message that's been driven into the head by the media.
Go ahead, Blue Jake.
I have to work this ton of vehicle.
What do you mean?
OPD.
Alpha 73 University.
Alpha 73.
Can we get another unit to deal with um...
J-League, where he is having to break down there.
Say!
Say the right pro now!
What do you say?
7351.
Get down on the ground right now.
No, please.
You're about to get sprayed.
No, just let out of the ground right now.
Leave me alone!
I can come in there.
Leave me alone, please!
Okay, are you gonna calm down?
I'm getting my phone out.
I have to feel this.
Look at this.
Are you gonna calm down?
No charge of...
I will come down.
I will...
You know what this is?
This is O.C spray.
I will calm down when you get the pepper spray out of my face.
Leave me alone.
I have...
Please!
Please!
Just stop putting the pepper spray at me!
I don't come down if you do that.
Stop freeing me!
Yeah, lowering your voice.
Leave it alone!
Pause.
I don't know why people say they're mentally ill.
Nick, they're not all like.
that yeah about 95% of my and if you miss pronoun them uh this is what they'll do we've shown
the guy at a supermarket remember the guy behind the counter kept calling him sir and he fucking
threatened every uh yeah so i i don't want to fucking hear anymore about it uh not saying everyone's
like this i guess it's worked for some people um but for the most part can can i do that
because the worst thing you can do is generalize in america remember that back to jerk off
dazed?
I want you to leave me alone.
You have been particularly
abusing me.
You did.
How's the cop not fucking tased this guy by now?
You are going to...
And sick the bills
administrators.
Don't kill her remember.
Don't kill her number.
Jayley,
don't focus on me.
Pause.
And then this jerk off,
focus on me.
Focus on me.
When I was four,
did that. My father cuffed me in the side of the head.
Look how I turned on.
Seriously, get a backhand
right in the fucking fat. Never mind a grown-up.
Can you imagine your dad, anybody?
Anybody your dad's age
or my dad's from that generation
putting up with this for one second?
Even if they're a cop, they'd probably
shoot them.
Anyways, back to the drama.
Dad's away!
You don't tell me where to go.
Can you stop?
Fuck you!
Fuck you cop.
Papa 73 University.
I want to be away from him.
Pause.
Pause.
I want to be away from him.
Like he can't walk away from him.
You see how fucking it is beyond...
I think I'm insulting people who are mentally ill with it.
Saying that.
Go ahead.
He's going to be taken away.
Shai!
He can stop.
Listen, he's going to call him he again.
I just want to get away from him.
I understand that.
Say!
He...
Shay!
Shay!
Just...
Just say she!
Just say!
Shay!
You believe that.
What?
Tush!
He please just told them to use the right pronouns!
It's not even about that.
Please!
You know it's causing me a lot of distress.
You believe this?
You can't even...
Okay, so I'm gonna saw...
So I'm gonna saw...
I'm going to choke you now.
I'm going to give you a prostate exam.
Turn around and put your hands behind your back.
Let's see if you have a prostate.
Not going to be arresting.
Put your stuff now.
No.
Put your hands behind your back.
No.
Canadian.
Okay, so I'm only going to ask you one more time.
You can record all you want, but it's already beyond that point.
I, we, we, we, we, we're, you're stressing me out.
It doesn't matter.
I'm just asking you to please stop stress.
We are ready to try to help you, so...
No, you didn't!
Yes.
You came in with hostile intent.
Put your hands.
Now he's a lawyer.
Be alone.
Get on the ground right now.
Don't...
Don't harm me!
Get on the ground right now.
Don't turn me!
Get down on the ground right now.
Hey!
Hey!
Now he fights back.
Pause.
Now he's a guy.
Now he's a guy.
He was a harmless little woman being picked on.
But now, now he's a guy.
he uses his mail
whatever
God bless the cops man
what a night sticks for her
put this guy in a call mind and take a shit
on his sister's head go ahead
I got a couple of
I got a couple of them
come around this way
two cops can't handle them
a cap of back
stop
get down
get down
get too
Get him down.
That's his back.
Go.
Ugh.
You can't behind your back.
You guys ripped.
I can't.
I just, I'm right.
Is that his stomach?
What is it?
Come on, stop.
All right.
I think you got the point.
What mental illness, Dallas?
Come on, it's not fair.
Oh, God.
That whole, you're hurting me.
You're stretching.
me out. How was he in public? How was this guy walking around? How long is it before he
sprays a classroom? Yeah. And we used to have padded cells that they would live in.
Yeah. Let's get them institutions, you know, but again the left goes, hey, you're violating
their right. And I'm reading, this is a right off subject, non-sequitur, but, you know,
Mendami and all the shit that's called, I can't even believe people would take it.
It's, there's a, they sort of clip of some debate in Maine. Somebody's running, did you see
that. He's she? A tranny. A guy about 6-4, 2.40 with a face of Dick Butkusbott woman's hair,
and it's almost as crazy as that running. And then Mandami has already turned New York into a sewer
with the homeless and shit. It's all intentional, folks. I can't believe that they're getting
the traction they are. That's why I believe, again, five people run the world. And Mondami was
placed in there, and I just don't believe it for a second. I don't.
Vic, that's the faggot, was eventually taken into custody in handcuffs and asked to be spanked.
But not before being tased by another officer reportedly trying to kick and swing at the cops.
Later, the footage shows him being placed in the back of a squad car.
The bizarre incident reportedly took place on February of 2025.
Approached by the newspaper, Vic said that he was being fucking harassed by the cops
and blamed them for him now being harassed by the media.
See how everything is...
At least he doesn't look crazy.
He's got a nice head of hair there.
Vic of Treasure Island, Florida...
Wait a minute.
I was thinking it was the one like Oprah lived on.
Was charged with battery on law enforcement,
resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct.
How about impersonating a woman?
Should that be in there?
Vic pleaded not guilty on all three charges,
and his last court appearance was dated January 16th,
although the cases were marked as closed,
according to Orange County records.
Why?
Why?
I mean, is it closed because he's in jail?
Or I doubt it?
Isn't that disgusting?
Oh, my God.
God bless the cops.
How do you not...
I made it into it.
How do you not tase him just to shut him up?
And that wouldn't be wrong, by the way.
He's threatening the cop.
Anyways.
And that was Nick's video of the day.
It sure was.
next headline
Bill Maher defending my boy Louis C.K.
Comedian Bill Marr and, you know, I made it clear how I feel about it,
revealed why he personally invited Louis C.K., which I love,
to his Mark Twain Prize, Sarah.
And by the way, Louis will be getting this someday.
If, unless they hold that against him, you know.
He showed his penis to some grown women.
Now they're in, they're in a psych ward and they have post-traumatic stress and disorder.
to his Mark Twain Prize ceremony, Bill Margaret the Mark Twain Prize,
and argued cancel stars deserve a path back to show business, which they do.
I remember when a guy, he was a quarterback and ironically named Vic like the transi
we just showed, when Michael Vic was throwing pit bulls in a tub and shocking them to death,
everybody in the world said, but he deserves a second chance, you know.
defended his decision to invite in battle comic Lewis C.K. to his recent Mark Twain Prize ceremony
declaring that the cancel stars should not face a lifetime ban from the entertainment industry.
Here's Bill Mark.
Anyone who's still mad at that, you know, has no concept of like appropriate punishment.
Like, we do it in the law. Not everything is a hanging offense.
If you're in show business jail for 10 years, maybe that's enough. I mean, he's,
owned it wasn't cool is it your whole life you have to and he's exactly right but bill you didn't
sound like that when hashtag me too came around on your show i don't know why he's getting a pass
and yes i like him more and he always represented his side well because he had great writers
and he's a hard-working dude and yeah i i respect all that but i'm just saying why does he get a
pass he helped create that you'd put his show on and have he'd have had a bad
Ben Affleck and that black professor,
Dyson, who hates white people more than anybody.
And they'd be beating up on some wishy-washy
congressman Republican that you've never heard before, you know?
And I'm glad he's seeing the light, but whatever.
People just want to believe...
Go ahead, I'm sorry.
You know, I mean, that's...
And I just got to correct one thing.
It's not like they just showed up.
The best part of this whole thing was
those are the people I invite.
These are people I asked and everybody said yes.
God damn right.
And Louis should be.
Louis is an world.
He's an international comedian star.
So he said Mara said continuing.
People just want to believe what they want to believe.
So when the jury comes in on the side you like, oh, perfect.
And he's right on the money with this.
And me included.
The jury spoke.
But when they don't, it's like, oh, no, screw that.
Forget it.
I don't care about the police investigations.
I don't care about the exonerations.
Like with Woody Allen, his wife, whatever her fucking name is.
I always confuse Diane Keaton.
It's not her.
It's the other one.
Most hateful, insane woman in the,
and I've read almost everything about that situation.
He was molesting his daughter in the attic, which was so much fucking horseshit.
I'm sorry.
Doesn't mean Woody's not creepy or whatever, but I'm just saying, you know, he was marked for life, you know,
because the Democrats and Bill Maher at one point, believe the woman.
You don't think he was railing on Trump when Trump said, grabbing by the pussy?
Come on.
On June 28th, Maher received the 27th annual Mark Twain Prize for American humor in the Kennedy Center ceremony.
isn't at the Trump Center now?
I don't know.
That feats at a lineup
a high-profile guest,
including Lewis C.K. Whitney Cummings.
She did well in Hollywood,
not exactly a household name.
Matt, friend, Woody Harrelson,
Ariana Huffington,
you don't get more left than that.
Jay Leno and John Melanchamp.
Look at Jay Leno.
If he's not one of those Muppets
in the balcony, I am.
Oh, my God.
He is not happy to be there.
Did he get that award?
probably already got it.
You think?
Oh my God.
My teeth are moving, folks.
And Louis doesn't look happy.
They're like, let's get the fuck out of it.
And Stephen A. Smith.
I don't know why you were listening to him like he's fucking smart.
Anyways, the event will stream in a few days.
A few days.
What's today?
20th?
Stream tomorrow.
I just had, Bill Marce said, I just had
Kevin
I just had Kevin Spacey on
another one you're probably like
oh how could you have him on
there was five accusations
I don't know if they were all trials
he said but they were all something
where there was an official exoneration
Marce said which is true
you either the law is either fucking real or it's not
I happen personally with Kevin Spacey's
like fucking loves young boy actors
but they you know they did their best to uh see get to the truth and now he was exonerated
Woody Allen two exhaustive police summaries not to mention how preposterous the story is
and I agree with that he was molesting his own daughter in the attic doesn't matter Bill
Marsh says people just want to believe what they want to believe right and action
his fear in life is that we're going to get caught because I'm sorry this is louis this isn't
from the one that's out right now on Netflix
They were just there was clips of him all over the internet because his new specials I'll call ridiculous.
I suggest you watch it.
But I just grab this one.
That's the beauty of him.
You can go to any fucking special.
This one wasn't that long ago.
He's much heavier now, but he, go ahead.
Fucker, that's every guy's biggest fear.
Even if you would never do it, every guy is like, that's what's going to happen to me.
I know it's.
He's going to get caught.
It's like being afraid of sharks when you live in the desert.
Like, I don't go to the ocean, but it's going to happen.
Because it's a fear not based in its likelihood,
but in how horrible it would be if it happened.
Because when they catch a pedophile, holy fuck.
Holy shit.
It's brutal, because we're scared.
We're so scared of pedophilia because it's here,
and it's not going anywhere.
That's the fact.
It's not like there's a finite amount of pedophiles,
and we got the last one.
No, they keep it.
it keeps happening. Every generation
there's more. Some of you
have kids and some of them
are going to grow up and fuck kids. They might
you know.
Okay, now, of course
not yours for some reason,
but...
I love when he calls him on their bullshit.
So,
any real solution
has to start with the basic reality
that there will always be pedophiles.
Not a great
thought. I understand it's not an uplifting.
you wouldn't put that on a fridge magnet
or on your screensaver at the office
there will always be pedophiles
hey where's Jim he's not at his desk
we do we have to start with that reality
because our solutions that we have so far don't really work
here's our current solution to pedophilia
we wait till somebody fucks about 10,000 kids
and then we go all right you you better cut that out
that's pretty much it
there's no measures for preventing it none
We have no policy to prevent...
We're not even just like a street sign.
There's a street sign for everything.
No hunting, no spitting, no skateboarding.
I've never seen a don't fuck a child sign.
I've been in all over the world.
Not even just like a picture of a guy
fucking a kid with a line through it.
So that it transcends language barriers.
I mean, try it.
You won't get most of them with the sign.
But even if one out of a 50 of them is like, oh shit, I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was an issue.
That's money well spent.
There's things that might work and we don't even try them.
Like is anybody working on very realistic child sex dolls?
Okay, then let them fuck your kids forever.
If that's better, I'm so sorry for suggesting something that might actually work.
Oh, no.
Let them fuck both my sons, but don't make a doll.
That would be distasteful.
Pure genius.
Those are the bits that I live for and why I got into comedy.
Ones that make all those people laugh,
and it calls them out on the hypocrisy
of just being polite instead of being real,
and it kills.
They're like, yeah, the crowd's like, yeah, you got me.
And it's funny as hell and makes a great point.
And he's got a ton of that shit.
because his IQ's through the roof.
He is by far my favorite comic of all.
And I don't give the fuck if I didn't know him.
One thing I do know is good comedy.
I'll be working with the magician in Long Island next week.
Kevin Spacey.
Now, anyways, that's about it.
So watch Ridiculous on Netflix.
It's on right now, I believe.
So if you have Netflix, it's well worth it.
And then, like I said, go back and grab any special of his.
And it's just, anyways, I'm jealous.
I'm never jealous anybody.
I always thought I was the funniest guy in the room.
But that motherfucker takes it to a different level.
And he wrote a hit show, like I said, sitting at Starbucks on his laptop
while raising two daughters in New York City, you know.
And I was defending them because I went on, you know, some chat, people,
you know, bad mouth.
And most people still loved them and said,
glad he's back.
There was more of that than anything.
But I wrote about a chapter going,
folks, I know the guy, he was an ex,
he actually roamed together,
and I defend him.
What a generous guy was,
did he fuck up?
Yes, should he have been punished?
He was punished.
And now let's move on.
He didn't rape anybody.
It was a bad time.
It was hashtag me too.
I remember my wife reading the story.
I said this before on the show.
my wife Andy goes, if I fucking,
if I was psychologically damaged every time
some guy exposed himself to be, I'd be fucking in a nut house
right now. She worked for EMI records.
You know? I mean, there were rock groups
and they were on drugs and shit and everybody that came
in tried to pick her up, famous people that I can't even mention
and the shit she saw at parties and shit.
And just when she was in, you know, in high school.
Young, beautiful women, I mean,
guys are fucking psychotic with that shit.
You know?
I'm just saying,
anyways,
I am so glad he made a comeback.
No doubt my mind
that he was going to come back.
Like Kay said of Michael,
I knew you were too smart for them.
Something like that, remember?
All right, that's enough
because I'm forgetting lines from porkies.
Don't forget cameo.com.
That's where I'd make a personal video.
You go to Cameo, click on my profile,
and then we can wish your mother a happy birthday
or a roaster
because their tits are banging on the,
floor right now. She's so old. Stuff like that. It's really mature. That's it. You guys think it.
I'll say it. You're welcome. See you back here at the same time tomorrow. Take care, everybody.
Hi. Good night, everybody.
