The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Shooting An Inside Job | Nick Di Paolo Show #1597

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump surviving an assassination attempt! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

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The Newt Gingrich The Newt Gingrich the new gingreges in the means of the world with the young black guys that was so that made me laugh for fucking ten minutes when I saw I love it I fucking like and don't people are gone is it offensive to say that him Trump getting shots gonna help him even more no it's true with a black community why is that offensive why is that a fact you You know what I mean? Only in this country they go that's kind of racist. Why? Only black people get shot?

Oh, they shoot each other up all the time. That's what I'm saying. I love that that's what he did with that. They got, and that's, I'm not saying that's why they have Trump's back here. You know what I mean? They got probably, obviously they're going to vote for him though, just the fact that they made this up. Yeah. They, they, they fucking, vote for him though. Just the fact that they made this up Yeah, they think they fucking he's a felon now Trump. He's actually been warned that he should put out a fucking hip-hop album

Where my shoes at that's the title? Album cover with the gold with the gold shoes on the album cover just smoke coming out of them Yeah, I fucking love that little blood streak on the side yeah that makes me I don't know why it gives me hope because when the shit really is down and humanity just grossed we come together even the the street guys they fucking love Trump and they love them I remember fucking Bill O'Reilly show I think was Jesse was interviewing people in the street and the black guy goes he goes yeah we like Trump you know I could he rich he ain't ashamed of it

bling gold toilets gold right what's the anyways I that made me feel good I get the same feeling when I watch at night I tell you I stay up to two in the morning watching black people react to like the Bee Gees or Led Zeppelin or and and fucking loving it and they know exactly what's good about it like they know their music it just makes me feel like we have hope I know that might be fucking weird sure I shouldn't jerk off to some of those videos, but I get excited. I get excited. So folks, what can I say? Jesus. My memory's so bad, somebody asked me today, where were you?

I don't even remember where I was. Then I had to think about it for five minutes. I was in a kitchen making chicken piccata, like a real grease ball, for my wife. And I think I put on the TV, and I went like this. He gets shot. I'm burning this shit. No.

Yeah, and I was like, yeah. Let me tell you, Alex Jones, I mean, he's been saying it for months. He made a video. Somebody put it up today. Months ago, he's going, they're going to try to kill him before the election. He knows how it works.

He's right about 98% of the time. He really is. People can call him a conspirator. And today he's saying, now they're going to try to poison him, going Putin style, or a truck bomb or something like that. I don't necessarily disagree. We'll get into that and why.

But there's a million questions to be fucking answered you know it I know it you know other people well anyways let me start with this real quick this fuck this was so goddamn funny where's the first of all MSNBC Yanks anti-trump morning Joe show off the air following assassination attempt. What does that tell you about that show? The NBC suits don't even trust that fucking show. Because you know what? They have nothing nice to say about Trump.

They have blood on their hands. That stupid bitch Mika with her nice tits and fucking hillbilly eyes Joe Scarborough somebody oughta fucking I Don't want to say slap them. I don't fucking kill him Slap him hard enough What does that say about NBC? Huh Couldn't even air them. I wonder if the ABC will go the same route with a viewer. They're probably on right now Uh, I just love it. This just confirms everything we know about legacy media and fucking

He's a he's out of all of them. He makes me the most nuts. He was a republican congressman Now he's a deep state cocksucker And they couldn't even put them on the air that says volumes and the other good story Trump classified documents case dismissed by Judge Cannon huh because Merrick Garland assigned Jack Smith to this case Jack Smith already did the left right did one assigned him to this one but you can't Congress has to assign the outside counsel apparently and unconstitute that I'm just giving you the rough but how did it take that long to come to that I don't know you know how the legal system

works but they'll just go there he appointed her but but you know like they're saying the con the Supreme Court is so fucking stacked at a rock Just absolute horse shit Absolute who yeah, okay. Well first of all, it was done legally the way the Trump none of that was under the table as Opposed to every media outlet being a fucking propaganda arm for the Democrats right We at least we have the Supreme

Court and we did that legally you guys they all shut up Joy Reid locked up her tweets I guess and all these hate mongers I put a tweet up yesterday the most likes I think I ever got on a tweet was like 2,600 I think it was a tweet about Billy Burr he looked just like a punter for one of some college team Some reason that went through the roof. That was like eight years ago I tweeted I put a picture of the view up. I don't know how I picked the one without whoopie And it and I said, what do you filthy yeast infections gonna talk about this week? That's at 7100 likes. I can't figure you

people out. It just feels good. And I know that means nothing really unless every time I white point somebody I go, yeah, well, tell me when it's a dollar or a fucking like and then I'll get excited. But anyways, I went nuts yesterday. I was hitting home run after home run. I had another one that almost, I don't know, 3,800 or 4,000. And I do my best work during tragedies. Remember the shooting at the Walmart that match? I had a field day with that one. Anyhow, of course, I check one comment.

You know, people who follow me. First one, too soon, Nick. And I thought it would be a laughing emoji or some shit, because you follow me, you know, people who follow me. First one, too soon Nick. And I thought it would be a laughing emoji or some shit because you follow me and you know how I work. The guy was dead serious. Too soon you used to be funny. First of all, I don't even know what to follow. Could be somebody who just hates my cat.

I said it's never too soon you big puss. Instead of just ignoring it. I can't. I'm 11 years old. I like to argue and fight anyhow. So what else did I want to say? Yeah, so there's good news. That's gone. What do we got left? The Georgia trial or whatever? Anyhow, I think Trump might be the chosen one. I don't mean as far as the country chooses him as president, as far as God. Imagine if God picked a so-called racist and bigot to save us.

That was my other thought. We know he came with it in this close of dying, getting his head blown off. Of course there's people out there going, it was staged. And then they backed up on it, you know Because you know they react then fucking don't think about it and then this truth starts coming out and Anyways we came this close to him getting killed and I know Dallas and Tommy said and a lot of people well, that we came this close to a civil war. And I was like, yeah, I wish you guys are right. I just think us white people too fat and lazy and spoiled to get off the couch and do the job.

That's how it happens. Countries get, you know, Rome, they get complacent, fat and lazy, drinking out of troughs of troughs fucking each other that's having good clean fun and so I don't know if that's true or not but I would I would hope so and I know people go you would you don't want war on a look do it what the fuck's the sense of living you're gonna live under a tyranny anyhow mama mia papa. I think those are the just a shit off the top of my head. Let's let's take a look at the actual video that is just just incredible. Here it is. I'm sure you've all seen it. But here we go. That's a little bit old that chart that chart's a couple of months old. And if you want to really see something this said, take a look at what happened.

Oh. Get down, get down, get down, get down. Get down, get down, get down. One more shot. Listen. Oh, it's all right. It's all right. It's all right.

It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. That one. you hear that?

That girl screaming. What the hell is going on out here? Move it to the spare. Hold, hold, when you're ready, on you. Move, move. Rich Voss is there. See the guy with the hat? Move it to the spare. Get ready, get ready. You ready? Rich Voss is there. See the guy with the hat?

Yeah, how to get him out of there in a hurry. Chicks. And fellas. At least they put their life on the line. Are we good to move? What, do you want them to get hit again? Trump wants his shoes listen let me get my shoes what a picture this is pause why do you have a little petite chick there? He's 6'3". Why do you have her there? I also tweeted, if you're going to have females doing that, she should be built like Lizzo. Fucking a 14-foot-wide ass.

Right? Should have a bunch of Lizzo's around them. Again, any more to that? Or? Look it, there's the picture. Again, any more to that? Look at, here's the picture. I'm staying right here. Okay. There's so many angles to it.

I don't even know where to fucking start. But again, we said it on this show, Dallas. We've been saying it for over a year, right, about them going to try to kill them. We were worried about it. A lot of people said that. And why fucking wouldn't you? They've tried everything. They're so fucking desperate.

And people are so naive. They don't know anything about it. Some people don't even know about the Kennedy assassination and how the governments work. They don't fucking play, guys. They don't have this. This is a global effort for Christ's sake. It's a globalist against us. And they fucking tried to kill him.

And you're going, well, how do you know? Please, we'll get to the fucking roof that was 160 yards away in a second. You can hit somebody with a slingshot from that fucking distance This is the level they fucking work at and And they try to see so that you don't think they fucking do the same to you. They hate you more than they Trump They really do wake up Most you know it. I was just hoping a few liberals might join that aren't watching Morning Jerk

Off this morning. Donald Trump slightly turned his head to look at a jumbotron at the same time the shots rang out at his Pennsylvania rally Saturday evening and the split second move saved his life. A bunch of experts are saying this morning. Do you understand? Somebody had a diagram that would have caught him right here. Do you understand?

He was pointing out, ironically, a statistic on illegal immigrants. Illegal saved his lives. Now he's got to let them in. Fuck. That is insane. I'm not a big religious guy, folks. I'm agnostic.

I don't know if God exists or he doesn't. I don't pretend to know. But Jesus, this makes me think. No pun intended. That's the son of the brother-in-law. I'm not sure. The cousin? Oh, Jesus.

Trump 78 turned to the right while addressing the crowd at the Butler Farm Showgrounds. I'll be playing there next week. No. Because he wanted to use a reference to the jumbotron. Senior advisor Dan Scavena, Jr. said, here's Danny right here, that the small adjustment came right at the moment, Thomas Matthew Crooks, he never had a chance with that name, 20, aimed and shot at the former president's head,

causing the bullet to skim the Republican frontrunner's ear as opposed to penetrating his skull. Israeli special ops veteran Aaron Cohen, seen here, looks like a goddamn movie star, told Fox News, and these guys know this shit, okay. He says, it's about the distance of the shot, 130 yards. That's a putt. That's a great way of putting it. When you get a high-powered rifle to scope on it, that's a putt. It's almost a gimme. Anyone can put two, two, three optic on a target, a two, two, three optic on a target from that distance and hit it.

It's not a difficult shot to make, he said, except for Rory McElroy. But while Trump's last second, that was for my brother, but while Trump's last second term may have spared his life, some former federal agent said the frenzied effort to get him off the rally stage after the shots rang out also could have placed the real estate mogul in more serious danger. Having worked with the Secret Service before,

as I was watching the sun fold, I could not believe how long this played out before they got him off that stage into the car. And then it took that vehicle that long to depart that area. Former FBI Special Agent Jonathan Gilliam told Fox and Friends on Sunday. It was a lifetime from a protection standpoint, he says. A lot of people on the news didn't want to be critical of the Secret Service and here I once again TV and the media just

get in the way of the truth every fight even when they don't mean to they didn't want to be critical of the Secret Service but as I watch this again I'm astounded he says at the way things played out because it appeared as though the defense of Trump and the movements off were being made up as they went along. And that is not the way this elite service should be prepared. And you know that. I remember Reagan getting shot. They had him in the car in a nanosecond.

And you watch movies, for Christ's sake. The one with Clint Eastwood when he's a sequencer. I mean, I should be prepared for this and carrying out these tactics in this type of situation, Gilliam said. And, you know, I don't want to look that there was a woman out of a few women up there. They put their life on the lines, the ones that jumped on Trump. She had a heart shaped past. I noticed it's not the time to look at that.

But you know, you can't question that. But the ones at the car fumbling with their gun like Barney Fife and shit let me just say this gun safety and women don't really mix if you don't believe me ask Alec Baldwin haven't we learned that lesson too soon yeah too soon my balls fucking of course the judge dropped that one on him out of nowhere. He's all set and free. Don't tell me that fucking judge wasn't a liberal cocksucker. Who knows Baldwin's a liberal icon. Give me a fucking break.

How do you like to be the widower? He's suing, by the way. I think he's going, and he should. Really, you're going to get out scott free? Oy. So yeah, people are going after the women and shit. Look, I'm glad some of them have the ball, but I'm sorry. I had a bit on my album 20 years ago. If I'm in a burning building,

I, you know, I want a big Irishman with a veiny nose coming up with a six pack of beer under his arm to save me. Not somebody who looked like Sandy Duncan. That's a reference you people won't get if you're born after fucking. Whatever. Anyways, so there's plenty of questions to be asked here let's take a look now this is the most interesting thing to me so far I saw it when they kept showing it yesterday we watched it hundreds of times right and I saw the woman still filming where everybody else was diving I didn't say anything out loud because then you're that fucking paranoid but Dennis de Souza Zoomed in on it and and and this kid at home. Did this de Souza put this up, right? I think

This kid at home noticed this the fucking broad She's in white she's got a hat on, she's holding a sign, and she keeps looking to the right. Now you could say maybe she's looking at the jumbotron like Trump was, but she keeps looking to the right and as soon as she holds up that sign, it's almost to me like a signal to the kid. The shots start ringing out, but it's what she does as the shots are ringing out that's weird. Take a look. No watch this shit dude. Listen to the guy in his room. She sits down. Watch this.

Sounds like me. Put the sign up. Not yet. Looking over there. There you go. She's completely normal and then watch. What the she's got her... What the fuck? Everybody else is diving for cover. What the fuck? People are freaking out. And she's filming. And she's just like right there. She's not even freaking the fuck out. What the fuck? She's lighting a cigarette and playing with herself.

Not in that order. Oh fuck. That kid shouldn't have put that up there, because now they're fucking, they're gonna go secret service kids, and they burn that, get fucking whatever, right? They're gonna clear her. You should have, but who do you go to with it? I guess you go to Trump's people.

We can't trust our own secret service, or the FBI, or the DOJ. You understand, folks? Your own government's against you. It's not paranoid thinking. You've been telling Wrighty's that forever. You've been telling righties that forever you've been telling everybody Alex Jones is a nutcase and shit you know he's right about 98% of the time what was she doing can we can we one more time cue that up she kept looking. No, watch this shit dude. Watch. Watch. She sits down. Yep. Watch this.

There's no emotion after this. There's the sign. She's completely normal and then watch. What the fuck? How about the glasses? People are freaking out out and she's just like right there she's not even freaking the fuck out what the fuck is looking at you kid that should be investigated now it was very odd behavior you got to admit I mean she should have been you got to act even if she was part of it you got to admit I mean she should have been you got to act even if she was part of it you got to act like you scared you dope you don't stand up and go Billy the fuck I gave you to kill Billy Tommy whatever your name is you fucking oh another kid was bullied I'm glad these little pukes were bully his kids how about that everybody's been bullied not everybody

shoots people and kills people so fuck off. Kid's mentally ill. Take him and his father. I want to know where his old man is in this too. And I want to know, and this is gonna be weird you're gonna go you're nuts Nick, but when they interview the mayor of this town or whatever he came out right after to give words you know about the he's a Democrat and he just sounded too relaxed and almost disappointed to me he was too there was something not emotional enough about it it's kind of creepy again yes I hate you fucking left these all ears matter of fact everybody that voted for Biden you should be fucking

apologizing to everybody today on national TV that would take a while I understand hey for those of you guys watching on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And that whole lot more includes Alex Jones every Friday or whatever. Anyways, while you're at my site, click on the tour button

and you will see August 9th Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts. I will be there doing stand up. I'm going to tear my teeth out. I'm getting false teeth. And then the next night, August 10th, at the Gass South Theater in Duluth, Georgia. Those are nice venues.

Can't wait to see you guys out there. I think the venues, one of the venues, Jacksonville, just started pushing today, whatever. So the numbers will go up. And I can't wait. The first half hour will probably be unscripted. I don't know what I'm going to say, folks. But a lot of it's going to be from my tweets

from yesterday, I know that because they were fucking, I was hitting grand slam after grand slam. I was like fucking Rafael Deves yesterday, smoking that fucking thing. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall

I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be a good boy It's time to gather loved ones together for all the holidays' best spread. Linz has great prices on all your favorite Thanksgiving items.

From delicious turkey with all the fixings to mashed potatoes and yummy pies, we have everything you need to create your perfect Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it's cooking the traditional meal, completely store-bought, or a combination of both, your best holiday meal starts here. Learn more and start shopping today at LensGrocery.com. Lens, where delicious begins.