The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Team Trolling Transition | Nick Di Paolo Show #443

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Pompeo plans for the real transition. PA postmark disparities on the rise. Libs suggest Stalin-like black list for Trump supporters.

I want to get something off my chest that's very important to me right now, okay? Very important to me. So many of you people have sent me emails, messages on social media asking me to come to perform in your town, which I'd love to do. I've been getting these from everywhere. I'm talking everywhere. New York, Florida, Oregon, Vermont, whatever, Montana. People all over.

Not only that, Alaska. And people in countries like Canada and Australia and the UK. And I can't tell you how much that means to me. You know, I'm an international star, apparently. Stand up has always been my bread and butter. You know that. So not being able to tour during this pandemic, knowing it's a fucking has been brutal. Ask my wife. She's getting out of the shelter this week. It's been brutal. I had so much new material going into March, which makes

it even that much tougher. I wish I could come to all of your towns and countries, but I can't. My jet's not working, especially now that they're shutting everything down due to COVID. Anyways, on Saturday, November 21st, write it down. Saturday, November 21st. I've got a show at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. The audience size will be limited to about 250 people, live people there. But I'm also going to be bringing in a full crew to do a three camera shoot of this show and we will live stream it so you people who don't get to see me are going to get to see me doing what i do best

we'll be micing the audience and doing uh we're going to do it all in one live take so it's going to be really fun i can't wait to do this i want it might be the new way we have comics live now i don't know i want all of you, no matter where you are, to be able to watch and have a live stand-up comedy experience. Watching stand-up live, it's like rock and roll. It's the only way to do it, really. It's best live, especially me, because I have no fucking idea when I go out to do what I'm going to do that night. I kind of. I have an outline, but you don't know. I could punch a waiter on the back of the head if he interrupts me. This will be streaming on the Watch Live Now network.

And tickets just went on sale. WatchLiveNow.com. That's WatchLiveNow.com. You can watch on your home TV or any other device through Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, or Android TV. And I just found out today that even if you can't watch it live, if you still get the stream, it's available to you for another week. So, you know, if you're wherever,

you're not going to get up to watch me at four in the morning. You're going to have it for a week, which is excellent. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I've played this room before. It's excellent. People, let's say in Ireland who have never been to Vegas can see what an actual showroom looks like. I'm looking forward to this. I really hope you all be there for the live stream. Again, you can get tickets at watchlivenow.com and I'll add this to my website also at nickdip.com please make plans to join me live from vegas on saturday november 21st i cannot friggin wait guitar solo Oh yeah. Here we go again.

Welcome to the show, folks. On a filthy Wednesday from the state of Georgia where they're going to do a total hand recount. And on and on it goes. the state of Georgia where they're going to do a total hand recount. And on and on it goes. What did you say Trump lost by? So Biden is up 14,000 votes right now. Yeah, in Georgia. If anybody believes that, you can kiss my grits.

Sorry for the strong language. Happy Veterans Day, by the way. Big thanks to all the men and women who put their neck on the line every day to protect our rights. Let me shoot my big mouth off. Apparently that's in danger when Biden takes over. And there's a story on that. And these are people who just don't believe in fucking anything. All we have is the military.

Even that's getting tainted with PC horse shit, wanting to rename bases and whatnot. Tom Cotton might be the next president, by the way. He's the only guy on the right fighting stuff like this. But it's creepy what's going on. We thank our veterans. I notice the NFL to, they backed off on the BLM shit. They did it at the beginning and stuff. It's sort of very quiet. Last few games I've watched, they have veterans and they show a commercial for the military. And you're a little late, Goodell. Every day, these people put their neck on the goddamn line.

Matter of fact, when I was in when i was uh doing the club in uh nashville young guy came up to me after the show much much younger than mr hooper hair and uh handed me this that he was over there for two years like as a gunner on a truck and flew this on their truck every i wasn't even worthy i didn't even want to take it. I mean, come on. It also scared me. He's got it folded like I already died. But invaluable, this stuff. We're going to, I don't know, we have a room next door.

I'm getting a lot of stuff. And another veteran, I don't even remember where this was, gave this to me too. You know how much that means to me and that I mean something to them. So, you know, and no, I'm not being jingoistic and it's not a knee-jerk, patriotic, stupid, you know, I still happen to believe in it. It's the greatest country on the planet. No, it isn't, Nick. It's racist and it it's, yeah, and that's why people are trying to get in here from everywhere in the world, okay?

Admit it. Those old white guys were sharper than anybody who walks the planet today. So thank you again, ladies and gentlemen, for protecting us. I hope you get more ink than just five minutes of the NFL games. Real quickly, let's get this out of the way. I, you know, I like to watch golf now and then. I watch you get more ink than just five minutes of the NFL games. Real quickly, let's get this out

of the way. I like to watch golf now and then. I watch the big ones. I don't hang on it and record it, but did you see the shot? The Masters is being played in November, right down here in Georgia. And I don't know if you guys saw this yesterday. This is the greatest golf shot in the history of golf. I'm saying, and I know that's a judgment call, but I'm making it. John Rahm, I think his name is. I don't know what country. I forget what country he's from. But you guys, did you see this?

This is insane, this shot. Go ahead, Chase. Boing, bing, bong, boing, ding, dong. I thought it was a deep fake video. You know how people always do that? They show themselves hitting a half-court shot when it's all manipulated. This is as realistic. This isn't the Masters.

But wait a minute. Bang. Are you shitting me? Does the Masters? Wait a minute bang are you shitting me does the master look wait a minute oh they just start covering it on thursday it doesn't start on thursday it's probably a practice problem i don't give a shit do it again i have to see that one more time you gotta be dog style of me look at at this. This is not an accident. See how it skipped over the water like a goddamn ping pong ball? And, you know, he's aiming to the right of the hole because these guys know how it breaks and whatnot. That's not an accident. This is a little, but what kills me here, it doesn't even touch the stick. It goes in the left.

He's got that for the rest of his life. Go, hey, kids, look what I did at the Masters. I'm hoping. Knowing me, it was a piece of footage from a year and a half ago. I don't know. That's fucking insane. Just thought I'd do that to break up all the election coverage and the post-election coverage. Is Tommy talking to you right now, Jason? No, why? Oh oh i thought you're looking at your phone oh no no i was uh just trying to

figure out where the dude was from he's from spain actually and he's currently ranked in number one number one in the world are you serious i've even heard of him not Not that I'm a golf fanatic. A Spaniard. Well, you know what? Even if he wasn't with that shot, I'm putting him at number one. You have to be kidding me. Anyways.

I can't get it through the windmill and over the dinosaur's ass. Did I tell you? I've told this story before, before I get on with the news. My buddy, his family owned a miniature golf course in Massachusetts in the town right next to mine. And it was packed. It was a Friday night. I was in high school. And I've got about six beers with me, like most people in high school, playing miniature golf on a Friday night. I was living life at a breakneck pace apparently and uh we were in the middle of there's people everywhere there's families miniature golf with their kids I mean it's packed right I missed this like two foot putt and I lose my shit so I picked the ball up after I you know put in the I bounced

it and swung my club like a baseball bat. I was kidding around. I didn't mean to hit the ball. You know what I mean? I was just doing it to get laughs. Of course, wouldn't you know, I hit it flush. You could hear it whistling through a crowded miniature golf course with kids and parents. I was like this. I thought I was going to jail for murder.

The thing sails. I mean, it was on a BB. It was a line, like a line shot in baseball. All of a sudden, I see the top right-hand corner of a van in the park. I'm like, broke the fucking windshield. I laid my club down, just like Bill Murray in Caddyshack, and I fucking snuck off. Luckily, my buddy ran the place and shit, but there were people cursing. I didn't mean to hit it.

I was going to swing under it just to make my friends laugh. And of course I hit it flush. I could have killed somebody. Anyways, let's get on with it. So sick of talking about politics. I'm going to change this to a porn channel that shows something. But how about that fucking, I still can't get over that. The whole world should be talking about that. Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid oh yeah we are oh that dirty cocksucker let's get into it uh the left again is still busting balls you see what they're doing now they're trying to blame trump uh because apparently biden's ready to go to get that vaccine that he didn't believe in out there and now they're trying to blame the trump because they

you know the transition that haven't given up power. So that's slowing Biden down. You only the president elected had number one and votes are still being counted. Number two, even Al Gore said Trump has a right to count every legal vote. So shut the fuck up. Yahoo news, you fucking people, you are creepy. They want to fucking own us. We're not going to let it happen. So anyways, Pompeo was given a, you know, a press conference yesterday. And of course, one of the jerk off left wing media asked him about the transition. And this made me laugh. I love this guy.

Hi. Is the State Department currently preparing to engage with the Biden transition team? And if not, at what point does a delay smooth transition or pose a risk to national security? There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration. I love this guy. Graduated first in his class. Smart MF-er. And of course, that's not funny. They're worried about a smooth transition, which is ironic.

Nobody brings this up on TV either. How can you guys have the balls to bring up any transition when the Obama administration spied on trump and we know that's a fact now so shut the fuck up about a smooth transition even if these votes weren't being recounted it was over you got a lot of balls to bring up smooth transition pompeo should have said well yeah i hope it's as smooth as the obama to trump thread we have spies all over the white house and we bugged it i don't know if it's going to go as smooth as trump uh uh as obama uh and and fucking biden you know they're there's the nerve good for you pompeo this guy's behind trump a thousand percent

um i enjoyed that very much somebody has a sense of humor, goddammit. But anyways, the election continues, and it should. How about this? 20,000 absentee ballots. This is in Pennsylvania. More than 20,000 absentee ballots in Pennsylvania have impossible return dates, and another more than 80,000 have return dates that raise questions. According to not the Trump campaign, a researcher's analysis of the state's voter database. Biden, you're fucked. Over 51,000 ballots were marked as returned just a day after they were sent out in an extraordinary speed. Has anybody ever known the Postal Service to do anything that quick?

They can't give me a fucking stamp face to face in less than an hour. An extraordinary speed given U.S. Postal Service delivery times, while nearly 35,000 were returned, listen to this, on the same day as they were mailed out. You know how you mail it out to the voters who request it, right? And it was returned the same day. Another more than 23,000 have a return date, get this, earlier than the sent date. But where's the evidence? These are baseless claims.

Oh, we're gathering it. Earlier than the sent date. No, there's no shenanigans going on in PA. Fucking A. More than 9,000 have no sent date. What the hell's going on out here? Oh my God. The state's voter records are being scrutinized as Trump is challenging the results of the presidential election in Pennsylvania and other states where his opponent, jerk off Joe Biden, holds a tight lead. The Trump campaign is alleging that invalid ballots

have been counted for Democrats and valid ballots were not counted and thrown away for Republicans. And you know what? It's all true. The analysis of the publicly available data was conducted by a data research who submitted who submitted it first to the Chinese language edition of the Epoch Times, which I get every day on my doorstep. The fuck is the why and why china the researcher who spoke on condition of anonymity didn't want to be shot said he consulted about the matter with several united states postal service field engineers there's engineers that work at the post office who said the return dates shown in the database, get this, and this is a quote, are impossible. Impossible.

Let me say that again, lefties. Do you think CNN, NBC, are they reported anywhere else? I don't even think Fox is. Neil Cavuto, I hope you fucking die in a fire tonight, you chubby fucking boring. tonight, you chubby fucking boring. The data set made public by Pennsylvania Secretary of State last updated on November 10th, that's a while ago, and described a current state of mail ballot requests for the 2020 general election. The data includes the mailed out and returned dates. In Pennsylvania, voters must request a ballot,

which is then sent to them via the post office. The voter then fills out the document and sends it back via mail or returns it in person. The process usually takes several days or even weeks, but not this time, a couple hours, depending on the speed of the delivery and response by the voter and how fat the postal carrier is.

This year, Pennsylvania also allowed voters to request, receive, mark and cast your mail-in or absentee ballot all in one visit to your county election office or other designated location. That may explain the ballots with no sent date may have been received and cast in person. I never heard of such a thing. I don't know nothing about that. Nobody does. How about the fact that they changed the rules a couple a month or two before the election? Does that send up a red flag at all?

Who do you fucking people think you are? You really think us morons are that moronic? What? morons are that moronic? What? Fucking money-grubbing, power-hungry, left-wing, tyrannical shit-teeth.

Hmm. I'll put a pinch between my teeth and gum. Anybody remember? Anybody my age when Earl Campbell did those tobacco ads? You want to Google that, Jason. Earl Campbell on a beach in a goddamn bikini bottoms with the legs, fucking legs were like Hillary's ass. Each thigh was so, it's one of my favorites.

But I digress. The flag ballots comprise almost 4% of all those issued by the state. According to the data analyzed by the researcher, at least 31 people who appear to be older than the oldest known person in the state according to the data analyzed by the researcher at least 31 people who appear to be older than the oldest known person in the state return ballots they were all born between 1900 and 1907 based on the state's data the oldest known person in the state is 113 year old Ardeth gross yeah this is on the up and up. So there are people older than the oldest person. Okay?

Fucking lady in her late hundreds. Wonder how she voted. They say she wrote in tap. Here's something that shows that Biden really won this country over. I'll tell you, there's a lot of enthusiasm. This might explain why he had 11 people at each rally and Trump had 111,000 at each rally. for Biden? Just 56% said they voted for Biden because, you know, they wanted Biden. For many of Biden's voters on election day, the answer was not really, but more a vote to kick President Trump out of the White House. So they weren't! They weren't voting for Biden. They just wanted to see Trump out.

And you are the people that are the cancer in this country, may I put in. Why? Because he has a big mouth and he's mean on Twitter. You know your wallet's improved and everything else improved. Look at numbnuts here. Look at the fucking, you can just see in his eyes. You can smell death. This poor prick.

I think, here's my theory. As this recount goes on longer and longer, he's going to die of a stroke just from the stress. They're going to find him at the bottom of the stairs with a clothes basket. Like in those commercials, I've fallen and broken my fucking 200-year-old ass. Those commercials have fallen and broken my fucking 200-year-old ass. According to the latest Rasmussen report survey, only 56% of the former vice president's voters voted for him. Instead, 29% said they were voting against Trump.

There's a mandate, huh? We're behind Joe Biden. Even, excuse me, I didn't mean to burp into the mic that pisses one guy off in Philly. And said Rasmussen, 15% were unsure why they chose former Barack Obama's number two. They don't even know why they voted for the, that's how, what's that tell you about the media and how biased they are? What are we doing? What's going on right now? shut the fuck up and they did and a million other things get rid of zillions of regulations that are holding this down we're number one in independent energy um so uh yeah get rid of him because you didn't like his hairdo and his big orange skull among trump voters 90 say they voted for the president you know why because they wanted him to be president. I am your voice. That was him in the kitchen at the White House. While just

8% say they were voting against Biden, but among Biden voters, only 56% say they were voting for Biden. 29% of these voters say they were voting against Trump, while a surprisingly high 15% are not sure. What the fuck? How can you not be sure in the most polarized election in the history of this country you know i mean it's like deciding between uh pizza and dog shit i don't know i'm on the fence i don't know dog shit smells like mozzarella um how the fuck can you be unsure look at numbnuts here poor prick i'm sure he's a good guy on the up and up let's stay on this because if biden does end up being the president of the united states uh he's going to bring a lot of jerk offs with him uh that worked for obama and you know people who believe in shutting guys like me up,

that's only going to get worse because apparently both sides, Republicans and Democrats in the legislature, they're all in bed with big tech companies because they get a ton of money from. So they don't really care if they're shutting up us little guys. But there was a story yesterday about private censorship and social media. But there was a story yesterday about private censorship and social media. The guy right in the article said, we've been discussing the calls from top Democrats for increased private censorship on social media and the internet. I'll repeat that. Increased private censorship on social media and the internet. Increased.

Do you know why they're saying that? Because it doesn't affect them. It affects guys and people like you. They want to shut us the fuck up. Shut up and obey. As Tucker once said, that's what's going on, folks. You're being diddled.

They don't give a fuck about the Constitution. President-elect Joe Biden has himself called for such censorship, including blocking President Donald Trump's criticism of mail-in voting. That should give you a hint. No, no, no, no, no man. Yahweh. Wait a minute. Isn't that the Jewish word for God? Or is it Yahoo?

Anyways, now shortly after the election, one of Biden's top aides is ramping up calls. Listen to this. For a crackdown on Facebook for, get this, for allowing Facebook users to read views that he considers misleading. This is what you're going to get, folks, that he considers misleading. Users who signed up to hear from these individuals, individuals, excuse me, Bill Russo, a deputy communications director on Biden's campaign press team, tweeted late Monday that Facebook is shredding the fabric. Let me repeat that.

Monday that Facebook is shredding the fabric. Let me repeat that. Shredding the fabric of our democracy by allowing such views to be shared freely. Do you believe this? You smoke cocksucker. Fuck you. Let me translate that. More free speech is, according to Russo, shredding the fabric of our democracy when it is the very fabric of our democracy. It's the only thing that separates from a lot of the shitholes. It's the beauty of the country. Today, you could go up to Trump and go right to his face. You're a shit bird and nothing will happen to you. That's what makes us great.

But Fox staying here, according to this jack off, he thinks Facebook is putting too many ideas out there from the right, basically. Shit that he disagree. You pompous, motherless, fuck you. Bill Russo. Rousseau tweeted that if you thought disinformation on Facebook was a problem during our election, just wait until you see how it's shredding the fabric of our democracy. I didn't think I think it is a problem.

Disinformation coming from the left bill. That's how fucking close minded these people are and how ensconced they are. And their little liberal bubble in Washington and have never talked to anybody. You thought Facebook was a problem in our election? Just wait until you see it shredding the fabric of our democracy in the days after. Russo objected to the fact that, unlike Twitter, Facebook did not move against statements that he and the campaign viewed as misleading. See, he's an arbiter of the truth. He concluded, we pleaded with Facebook for over a year to be serious about these problems. They have not.

Are you shitting me? There's been a million examples of them censoring. Our democracy is on the line. He's bringing up democracy, yet he's for again we know facebook's a private company which it really isn't like somebody wrote in an article yesterday it's like the phone company and having somebody listening on your phone calls you know i mean when you text it's just it's just words instead of it right you'd have a problem if uh pelosi or somebody was listening in, right,

and wanted to delete what you were saying in a phone conversation. That's all Facebook and Twitter is. We need answers, he said. Well, here's your answer. Go fuck yourself. Matter of fact, it needs to be broken up. I want to see more right-wing opinions that are being stopped by jerk offs like you. OK, so suck it.

It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. For those of us in the free speech community, these threats are chilling. This is the guy that wrote there. I forget who. We saw incredible abuses before the election in Twitter, barring access to a true story in the New York Times, New York Post, excuse me, about, remember Hunter Biden?

Remember that story? That's already ancient history. Biden, Hunter Biden. And his alleged global influence peddling scheme. Notably, no one in the Biden camp, including Biden himself, thought that it was a threat to our democracy to have Twitter block that story. Remember that? You fucking hypocrite. Well, later admitting that it was a mistake. Yeah. Later on, weeks down the road, they said, yeah, we shouldn't have blocked it. He has no problem with that. And yet Facebook is too right-leaning for him, basically,

because that's who gets censored. In other words, they only want you to hear what they agree with. I don't even know people in high school that fucking sanctimonious. Pompous. May your family die in a small car crash. With a big truck. I have previously objected to such regulation of speech. What is most disturbing is how liberals have embraced censorship and even declared that China was right on Internet controls.

Many Democrats have fallen back on the false narrative that the First Amendment does not regulate private companies. So this is not an attack on free speech. Free speech is a human right that is not solely based or exclusively defined by the First Amendment. Censorship by internet companies, it's like, it's a little brother. It's not a big brother thing. It's a little brother thing. It's still censorship, cheese dick. Some may willingly embrace corporate speech controls, but again, it's still denying people the right of free speech, but they can't get that. They're just limiting free speech is now a rallying cry for Democratic members and activists alike. At risk is the single greatest invention for free speech since the printing press. And he's not

talking about a panini maker. He's talking about the internet. Russo's comments reaffirm that Biden administration will continue this assault against the internet free speech. What more do you need to know? And you voted for him, folks. And you voted for him. What is most unnerving, not you guys, my fans, you jerk off friends who you don't talk to anymore. What is most unnerving it not you guys my fans you jerk off friends you don't talk to anymore what is most unnerving is that russo is denouncing such free speech as shredding the fabric of our democracy there was a time when free speech was the very right that we fought to protect uh it protects our democratic system so he is a he's arant. He's a fucking, a fascist, authoritarian, whatever you want to call it.

Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom! No! Father Gabriel! Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Don't put shit out there that goes against our narrative.

Jesus Christ. These guys have... Mussolini had nothing on these people or fucking Hitler or anybody else. Thanks again. I want to thank everybody out there, by the way, in Kansas City who came out last weekend. That was such a good show. I will do that club anytime because it's run beautifully.

Next weekend, I can't believe it's here already, I'll be at the Plaza in Las Vegas and the Saturday night show is going to be live streamed all over the world Next weekend, I can't believe it's here already, I'll be at the Plaza in Las Vegas. And the Saturday night show is going to be live streamed all over the world. You can watch on your computer, Roku, Apple TV, Android TV, Amazon Fire TV, your wife's toaster oven. To get tickets for the stream, go to, write it down, watchlivenow.com, watchlivenow.com, it's going to be a great live comedy experience, and I do, I get letters from people all over the place, sometimes

overseas, you know, how about the military people that like me, that gives, you know, I mean, come on, so people have there's been a few states i've hit most of them i've been doing this 30 something years but there's a few i haven't been to so uh if you can't make it to vegas saturday night get a bunch of buddies and shit and i mean break out the beer or the needles or whatever you're into, the fucking pills. And enjoy. Also, as I announced last week, my new platform, excuse me, will be thecomicsgym.com. Thecomicsgym.com.

And I'll be able to say whatever the fuck I want to without Big Tech getting in my way. I'll be making the changeover between this Thursday when the site launches through the end of the year. You can sign up now for free at thecomicsgym.com. And lastly, I want to thank all of you who have contributed to the show. As you know, your financial contributions is what keeps us going, keeps the show free. So again, thank you very much. It's unbelievable. So again, thank you very much.

It's unbelievable. I've grown so close to my fans. When I'm live, people come up to me with the Apollo podcast t-shirt on and shit. I can't tell you how many people go, my husband or my wife listens to you every day or both of us. And this show is going to have more of a need if Biden ends up being in the White House.

Just because of the last story I presented to you. There's going to be very few places to get the goddamn unvarnished truth. Well, what makes you say that, Nick? Well, all kinds of things. How creepy is this? If this isn't like very Stalinist, I don't know what is. like very Stalinist. I don't know what is. The jerk-offs on the left, you know, the AOCs of the world, they're putting together what they call a blacklist for Trump allies. This is like Joseph Stalin right out of his handbook. A former spokesman for Barack Hussein, I don't give a

fuck about America, Obama presidential campaign has been touting an apparent attempt to blacklist allies and staffers of President Trump and his administration, drawing criticism as President-elect Joe Biden has called for unity and healing. Yeah. Yet he's

going to have people like this working for him. There's your unity. And you know what? Stick that fucking healing and unity up your ass. We're going to fucking try to unite just the way you did around Donald Trump for the last four years. That's the type of reaching over the... If we reach across the aisle, it's going to be to choke you fucks. I want to see him if he gets in, and I hope he doesn't. This thing isn't over. Sorry to be an optimist. If he gets in on day one, I want to see, and again, the Republicans are pussies. At least we got Ted Cruz. I want to see impeachment hearings called for on day one for the shit that went on in China. China, just from

China. I still say Biden gave Trump COVID during the debates. A blacklist of people. In other words, if you helped out Trump, we're going to make sure you never get another job again. You know who's doing it? This guy who worked for Obama, I think. Harry, of course. Harry.

Please give me a call. Sevgan. There he is. Harry, please give me a call. Sevugan. Harry, please give me a call. Sevugan. Also the former national press secretary for the DNC.

And earlier this year, deputy campaign manager on, oh, I'm sorry, on Pete Buttigieg's failed White House bid. Imagine that. This fucking, this fascist who wants to make a list

worked for Pete Buttigieg, who was a veteran. So all your words mean shit to us, you people out there. I read a a great article it's not on the show today about how the new middle class trump has created this engine and they're saying it's not about it wasn't about trump and biden the middle class is pissed and he goes we're just getting started is gonna be you know i showed the truckers yesterday saying they're going to fucking, it's just getting started. Anyways, this guy worked on Pete Buttigieg's White House.

Pete? Please give me a call. Buttigieg's failed White House bid on Friday, tweeted a link to the Trump, write this down, Trump accountability project. At, what does that say caitlin collins of cnn just reported white house staff are starting to look for jobs meaning trump's people employees considering them

should know there are consequences for hiring anyone who helped Trump attack American values. Fuck you. Do you see the irony in that? Do you see the irony in that? Don't hire somebody who worked for Trump, which is very Stalinist. It's a blacklist. But they defend it by saying Trump was attacking American values while they're spouting the very shit

that Joseph Stalin did. Look at you, you fucking, no wonder why. Let the white old guys run the country. It always worked better that way. Nick, how dare you? Kiss my grits. So don't hire anybody who helped Trump attack American values, wrote Svigugan, who does nothing about American values.

He has more than, ooh, 14,000 followers. I know open micers who have more followers, you jack off. Find out how, listen to this, at the Trump Accountability Project. Do you believe this? So in other words, if you helped, how do I get a message to let those people, I helped them. And I'm going to help more. Ugh, ugh helped them. And I'm going to help more. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. The site features a shot of Trump and staffers in the White House overlaid with the message

Remember What They Did. Remember What They Did. I remember what your mother did. You listening? Yeah. Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? Sure do. Remember what they did. What did they do?

Oh, they brought us the best economy in the history of the United States. They crushed ISIS. They made us energy independent. They lowered taxes. They brought record unemployment to minorities and women. taxes. They brought record unemployment to minorities and women. We'll remember, cheese dick, civil gun. I'm going to fucking smash you, you fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. This jerk off says we must never forget those who furthered the Trump agenda. The site goes on to say we should welcome in our fellow Americans

with whom we differ politically, but those who took a paycheck from the Trump administration should not profit from their efforts to tear our democracy apart. Let me give you that in the original German. I'm for you, do eigen Arbeit, do eigen Fleiß, eigen Entflussheit. sir you're gonna be you're on the endangered we're making a list motherfucker of anybody who

who uh treads on us okay we know where you live we're gonna start doxing people it's gonna get ugly you thought those riots this summer and the looting? It's going to get ugly. I'm praying. Why do you say that? Because I just bought a cannon at Bass Pro Shop. Put it on a trailer hitch, brought it home. Anyways, this site, the Accountability Project, identifies targets of those who elected him, those who staffed his government, and those who funded him.

Well, you know what, jerk-offs? I sent money to him. The site does not make clear who is behind the effort. Well, of course not. That's what they do in secrecy. But they're for American values. You're not an American. You're a fucking,

I don't know what you are. You never will be. How about that? Go back to your fucking grandmother's cerebral shithole country nick you can't say yeah i can and i will i tell you who i'm voting for next time if trump maybe trump will stay but you know who's going to be next ted cruz and tom cotton you can put them on either way on the ticket, vice president, whatever. Teddy Cruz, who I had a chance to meet

when I did Crowder Show in Dallas. He came in the back way, and they look like they're in a hurry, so I just watched them go through the kitchen. I sat there like a lump in a lock. But Teddy Cruz, even the smart libs are afraid of this guy. They've said so.

Alan Dershowitz, no right winger, had Ted Cruz as a student at Harvard and said this. He was the best student I ever had. He taught there forever. Harvard Law. So give me a smart guy. Yeah, he looks a little creepy. He looks like a sad Great Dane, doesn't he? yeah he looks a little creepy he looks like a sad uh great dane with it but um did you see what he did to andy mccabe yesterday did you see what he did to this deep state piece of shit took him apart

at the it was hard to watch it's like it's like watching a ufc fight when the guy knocks the other guy out and then while the guy's unconscious they have to get six more hammer shots into his face watch ted cruz take on this deep state lying piece of shit and if that is what ben rhodes said if joe biden is talking with foreign leaders right now does it violate the logan act yes or no i'm not going to opine on a hypothetical question about what the fight he is talking with foreign leaders and it doesn't violate the logan act because the logan act is unconstitutional which is why it's never been used to prosecute anyone except you authorized using it to go after general flynn as part of a political persecution i can give you the answer

hell no joe biden is not violating the logan act the reason you won't say it is because that was your flimsy political basis to go after a decorated war hero because you disagreed with politically with president trump oh yeah you got knocked the fuck out, man. Oh, yeah. He just explained to a bunch of people who didn't realize what happened to Flynn. The Logan Act is when you don't officially work for the government, you know, at a federal whatever. And you're doing foreign business. You're interfering with foreign policy.

But it's never been used except for what ted said right there you want to debate him you think his wife's ever won an argument about toilet paper or what kind of wallpaper teddy cruz teddy cruz hey everybody i can't thank you guys enough so many of you have been buying nick dipalo show merch and these Nika shirts have been selling like crazy. We now have all the designs in both white and gray. That way you can see if you're bleeding or not. Um, no, look at that. I don't even have one yet. Again, these are, these, uh, you guys brought it about. You started calling each other Nika's in the, um the chat room or whatever they, wherever the kids hang out before the show. You can buy all of these as

well as the Nick DiPaolo Show logo gear on my website at nickdip.com. Thank you guys. Seriously, you're the best. And I forget how much my fans mean to me when I didn't do much stand-up because of the COVID thing. Then you get out there and I forget how much my fans mean to me when I didn't do much stand-up because of the COVID thing then you get out there and you got people you know I get like I love it you get

these 22 year old guys who know me from tough crowd because they go on the internet and other people say I didn't even follow politics till I you know I knew you were a comedian then I started here on this show and and it means a friggin ton because I don't feel like I'm just telling jokes at night and they dissipate into the air and I leave the club in that city. And thank God, you know, the show is caught on. I can't thank you enough for buying this stuff. It all goes to keeping this thing running.

I mean, Jason makes, what, $150,000 a year. What? Hello? And then there's the studio here. And then my two houses in the Bahamas. And then my Maserati that I have it. Yeah, right. I'm driving a, what, 2014 Infiniti. Speaking of delicious cars, did you hear about the car running down Trump supporters out in Santa Maria?

Santa Maria! That's what they yelled after he ran over these people. Santa Maria, California. A man was arrested Sunday after driving his vehicle into a Trump parade, causing a rollover crash and two injuries. Santa Maria police said that Trump rally was traveling westbound down Stoll Road around 210 in the afternoon. At the same time, a 20-year-old Santa Maria man was driving eastbound on Stoll when he made a U-turn,

caught up with the rally, gesturing, shouting out aggressively at the participating vehicles. Officers said the man even threw bottles and other objects at drivers as he passed. Fuck your mother! Um, you know, just another genius. Video taken by bystanders at the scene shows the man accelerating through the stop sign at Speed Street. Well, that's not a good name for a street, by the way. And Stoll Road. He then drove straight into the path of the Trump parade, crashed into one car, causing that car to collide with another car nearby.

What a piece of shit. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Three cars in total were involved in the incident. Police said the car the man crashed into first had rolled onto its side with two passengers inside. One victim sustained a broken arm while the other had swelling on the arm.

The man was arrested at the scene for driving recklessly, causing injury. Let's take a look. The civilians got involved and listen to what the guy says. The guy's got this piece of shit in a chokehold. Go ahead.

Yeah, you're going to jail, dude. For a long fucking time. Yeah. Shit. I was waiting for somebody to grab that. Hey, how does it feel now? Welcome to MAGA country, motherfucker.

Hey, he stole that from Jussie Smollett. Welcome to MAGA country, motherfucker. You guys on the left better hope Trump has another four years. Because we were just getting pissed off. If he doesn't fucking get in, oh, and you guys stole this thing? We have all the guns, remember? Listen to this he was then cited taking police station and released from custody because you know why i don't understand how the law works i really don't jason the screen got a little darker i'm not sure why but uh son of a whore either my out of my my cones are burning out i can still

read it but got a shade darker. That's all right. We'll see afterwards. But I'm pretty sure it did. So the civilians got involved. How about that? A guy had him on a chokehold. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.

Welcome to MAGA country, motherfucker. The pressure of this election is even getting to the people that are lying about it in mainstream news. You know, the NBC's and the CBS's. Did you see NBC? This is MSNBC reporter. Did you see what he did live on the air? Check this out. Has some new reporting on something that we talked about

at the top of the hour, how the Trump administration is handling the transition with the incoming Biden team or not handling it, we should say, to a certain extent. This time,

it involves our intelligence community. Ken, what have you learned, sir? Oh, shit. Fuck. I think we lost Ken for a second. Sounds like me every time there was a pop quiz. Shit. Fuck.

I was in an economics class up at Maine my sophomore year, and the teacher was kind of young and kind of hot, and she made eye contact with me because I was young and hot in the hallway before the class. This is a class of like 8,500 people. This is the first day. It was a

management class, business man. And who she called on first? Me. Mr. DiPaolo. We made eye contact before the fucking class. Mr. DiPaolo. And I did that. I went, shit, fuck.

Only real loud and the whole place laughed. Even she laughed. Did I get in her pants? Of course not. I didn't know how to. I was into men in college. What? What? What?

Please give me a cup. No, I will not. I'll never forget that, though. It was very flattered. Oh, say can you see? I better put this down. I got sick on this thing. It was in my mouth forever. Yeah, that screen's definitely shade darker now.

Anyways. Did you read this one? This is, again, the PC thing. It's worse than ever. And if you're a Trump fan or even a Republican or lean right, you know, you have to watch it apparently when you live in the real world, not when you're a comedian to a podcast. But even then, if you get something in Hollywood, they're going to shun you or whatever if you say something wrong. Well, anyways, this comes from California. A California school board president has resigned amid outrage over racist and sexist slurs.

His wife posted about Vice President-elect Kamala Harris. Former Google executive John Venerello resigned from the Las Lomitas Elementary School District in San Francisco Bay Area on Sunday while distancing himself. You're going to throw your wife under the bus? From the reprehensible views, that's in quotes, his wife, Meredith Phillips, had tweeted hours earlier. In one disturbing post, she dismissed Harris. earlier. In one disturbing post, she dismissed Harris, Harris's place in history as both the first black vice presidential vice president. What? Place in history as both the first black

vice president as well, you have the words together, as well as the first female one. as well as the first female one. All she, this is what she says. Put it up there. All she needs to be qualified is a black pussy. No brain needed, she says. I think I like this woman. I love you for helping me to construct my life.

I like how she spells Meredith. It's fucking crazy, isn't it? All she needs to be qualified is a black pussy. So far, I don't see anything wrong. No brain needed, Phillips wrote on her Twitter account, which has since been delist. Another post suggested

that Harris had used sex to whore her way to her history-making position. With other posts also attacking the LGBT community. I love this woman. But she said, what's her name, slept away. Not to the top, almost to the top. She's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Oh, I don't think so.

She's an Indian and a Jamaican, but she certainly isn't black. The husband, imagine he had to quit his job. I wonder what he said there. I would have fucking gave her a nice big kiss. One local mom named Brianna Caldwell told KGO that it was, listen she says it was like I was watching systemic racism systemic racism happening on display and my own children's school in our backyard I almost vomited then I cried a little bit shit my pants picked my nose and cleaned my earwax out faggot I almost vomited. She said I cried a little bit, and then I was just shaking, and I was so angry.

You fucking liar. Oh, boy, you. Really? Words can do that to you? Welcome to America. You know what? Everything she said was factual. Not that I know that.

I don't know that she slept away to the top. She does have a good blowjob mouth, Kamala. Phillips Venverlo's husband resigned from the school board after a petition was signed by more than 100 people in just hours. Just brainless people, fucking knee-jerk, reflective PC reaction, according to the Mercury News. Before deleting her account, Phillips Venverrilo apologized for her vulgar words that she said were written in a moment of disappointment. Don't backpedal. Don't get mealy-mouthed.

Own it, bitch. I am deeply sorry and ashamed, she said, and added that she has been taking medications. Now you're losing me for a debilitating neurological disease. Yeah, it's the same one Stephen Hawking had. Remember, he used to go, spook, monkey,

cocksucker, whore, fuckface, blowjob hack. She had been weaning herself off medication in preparation for scheduled hospitalization. I believe that change in medication reduced, well, it says right on the bottle, side effects include racism, sexism, and diarrhea and oily discharge from your nostrils.

I believe the change in medication reduced my judgment between right and wrong when I made the, you, you lost me. You had me, now you lost me. I think your brain is going soft. You backpedaled, youaled you merely mouthed it got a nice smile see that that's what I'd have if I was single and had a girl I'd have her talk like that in bed not like I want to blow you a lick your I'd be like say some racist horseshit. That'd be getting my dick hard over here. Finally tonight on Meet the Chooch, London. November 10th, London. 2020. Thompson Reuters

News. Some lady has a lesbian film festival going on. am i reporting it because it this just it this just demonstrates how you know all these people we should be inclusive we're all just people those people that preach that they really think just the opposite they want their own black dormitories they want their own gay safe spaces and they're just hypocrites every time they open their come guzzling holes uh anyways naomi uh was running lesbian-themed film nights at cinemas across London before COVID-19 struck, confining moviegoers to their homes and prompting the former legal secretary to make her social enterprise a fully online venture. So sometimes it works out.

Bennett launched Les Flicks. Where do I sign up? Oh, wait a minute. If they're the lesbians that look like her, I'm not going to subscribe to this. Look it. Hey, Mark McGuire called. He wants his arms back. Jesus H, look at the pipes on this broad.

Too bad, honey. You know, if you had skinny arms, you'd probably be sucking dick right now. Nick, that is shallow horseshit. Yeah, I know. Feed it, hate it, breathe it, live it. Bennett launched Les Flicks, a subscription streaming service aimed at gay and bisexual women last year, but it only had 10 titles offered when Britain's first coronavirus lockdown began in March. Today, get this, folks, it offers almost 80 titles, including feature films like Hair Pie, Larry the Labia Man,

Nipples and Nancy, no, Finding Bobby's Fissure, and Rambone. It offers almost 80 titles, including feature films, shorts, and web series, and has hosted dozens of virtual film-watching parties for LGBT women. They probably don't get halfway through it, and they're chowing on each other. Attracting subscribers from the United States to South Africa, India, and Jamaica. Jamaica?

Jamaica out? Yes, I couldn't. Jamaica. Jamaica. Jamaica, Bahama, who? So it's a lesbian film, and they get together and watch films. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. And they talk about music, too. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial,

and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. You're not watching the movie, ladies. She says we're not just putting films on a platform, but also bringing the community together. Another community online. Bennett 38 told the Thompson Reuters Foundation as she was doing curls with 200 pound dumbbell during a video call, bringing them together and empowering those women

to meet each other and connect over a common interest, she said. And we know what the common interest is. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Bennett launched her venture because she wanted to support filmmakers by connecting them with movie lovers. She pays content producers half of her subscription income split by the number of views each film or a series receives while writing about film festivals for a blog she said she often spoke to lesbian filmmakers uh whose work not fitting the mold of a handful

of hollywood-backed historical dramas, was struggling to break even. I kept hearing how they didn't ever really get any money back for the films they were making. And I thought, this is ludicrous. We all love hair pie. You love hair pie. I have 78-inch guns. Let's get together and I'll choke you.

Thought this is ludicrous because there's definitely people who want to watch films, she said. Well, good for you. And I'm saying that sincerely. Whatever. I hope she saying that sincerely. Whatever. I hope she's making money. Whatever. I don't understand your mentality

that you have to, because you're different sexual, you have to, you know what I mean? You don't think a straight guy like me, fucking, you think I got something against lesbian films? I just don't know where to find them.

Maybe I'll subscribe. Anyways, that's it. That is it for today, that's it. That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank you again for subscribing to the show at NickDip.com. Don't forget November 21st. November 21st. I'm going to be doing a stand-up show live from the casino, Plaza Casino in Vegas. November 21st.

It's a Saturday night. You can pay online and watchlivenow.com. Watchlivenow.com. Watchlivenow.com. You can buy it right now, I think, can't you? And it'll be great. You'll be sitting home at a comedy club, and you'll see me. And it's not a special. Let me clear that.

I'm not doing a special. This is just a night of comedy. This is me having fun up there. And I'll stumble into funny. That's the way to push it. Anyways, don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends, I'll make a little video.

You go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, and then tell me a little bit about the person. I will put a little minute thing together and send it. I can say happy birthday, or I can trash the bitch. It's up to you. Remember, you guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. See's up to you. Remember, you guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome.

See you back here tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo We'll see you next time.