The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Teases Southern Border Shutdown

Episode Date: December 29, 2018

POTUS Threatens to Shut Down Southern Border Entirely. Illegal Immigrant Cop Killer Caught in Cali. Jerry Brown “Whitey Will Be Running Things.”

From the makers of Gas Out, it's Flush and Frenzy! Flush the handle to see how many times to plunge! Look out! You popped the poo! Make the grab and get a token! Catch it in mid-air and it's twice the points! The one with the most tokens wins! Flush and Frenzy, the game! Oh yeah. How are you folks?

Welcome to the big show. Flush and Frenzy. You just saw it. Are we losing our minds in this country? Little kids catching fake poop. What is it? The train, the migrants. What's funny about it, it has to be racially, politically correct.

You see the little white boy and the black girl, even though they're throwing shit around. I don't know. Maybe it was a German manufacturer. It's popping up like toast, and they're diving at it like a Hail Mary to the end zone. I don't get grossed out easy, but, and I'm going to guess the people,

can we see that again, Jace? Black people are going to get pissed. Look at that, right there. Looks like Steve Harvey. Get a token, get a disease. You pop the poo. Make the grab and get a token. Get a token, get a disease. Twice the points.

The one with the most tokens wins. Flush and Frenzy, the game. Look at the box. It looks like Steve Harvey. That is wrong. That could be any wide receiver. Look at the fucking... For the family that clogs its toilets on the holidays,

Flush and Frenzy from your German porn makers. Look at the beautiful couch and pillows in the background. Meanwhile, there's a fucking two-inch loaf sticking out of the... Just disgusting. Your head in the toilet. Disgusting. 833-599-6425. 833-599-NICK is the phone number. Big shout out to Mel Stein.

Who is Mel Stein? He lives in Baltimore. Contributed stuff to the show. Contributed $200. Didn't join a tier or anything. Maybe he already has, I don't know. But he donated $200 to the show. Did it right at nickdip.com. Mel, can't thank you enough because I contributed to the wall fund today. So that'll cover some of that.

And that's what keeps it going, folks. Thank you, Mel. Very generous around the holidays. I don't know who in Baltimore, living in Baltimore, can afford $200 like that right after Christmas. But apparently, Mel, thank you so much.

Hey, this Monday night is New Year's Eve. I'll be at the Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. And then Wednesday, January 9th, the Fat Black Pussycat,

New York City. Friday, January 11th, Lucy's in pleasantville new york saturday january 12th fairfield theater company fairfield connecticut saturday january 19th barbie v's in windsor locks connecticut sunday january 27th ventura harbor comedy club ventura california the friday before that i'll be on the joe rogan show the monday following uh january 28th i'll be on the dave rubin showin Show. Friday and Saturday, February 8th and 9th, The Black Box in Boca Raton, Florida.

That's right, rat's mouth. Friday, March 8th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York. Saturday, March 9th, Cahos Hall, Cahos, New York. Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine. Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information. And come on out, because I always cut loose.

Even if you've seen me before, yes, there'll be material that you've seen, but I'm always talking off the top of my head, which is usually the best part of the show. And especially New Year's Eve, that ought to be a hoot. I might even put on a jacket for that. Hey, there's the dates again. Hey, there's Flushing Frenzy again. Anyways, I didn't get to this story yesterday.

This one cracked me the hell up. The plan was to steal tools, and the customers drew their guns. Ah! and the customers drew their guns. Shots were fired by bystanders at the suspects when two men allegedly stole from a store in Marysville on Saturday. The plan was simple, steal tools, pawn them for money. That's what two men, 22 and 23, reportedly had in mind

when they showed up to the Coastal Farm and Ranch store in Marysville. I don't even know what state. Doesn't matter. I just love the story. On Saturday afternoon, according to a police report, they allegedly took four nail guns, each worth over $400, walked out of the store, got into a Honda Civic, the official car of the gangster, that and the Nissan Altima. They didn't expect to be surrounded by six customers with guns raised.

Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. One customer was standing in front of the car yelling at the alleged thieves to get out. He won't shoot. Run him over, one of the suspects reportedly said. The driver pulled forward, causing the men confronting him to land on the hood. Another customer shot at the driver's side front tire. A third fired twice at the rear tire someone

shot at the car one more time as it left the parking lot record show an employee saw the car leaving and drove after the uh the theft suspects he said he saw one of the men lean out the passenger window hold up what he looked like a gun yeah it was probably a fucking nail gun uh the employee stopped chasing the men and went back to the store, pussy. No, just kidding. Marysville police found that the theft suspect's car unoccupied about three blocks away with two flat tires and the tools inside. Both men were apprehended after a search. They denied having a gun or seeing the employee follow them.

Police found no firearms in the car. The men also denied hitting anyone with the car. However, security tapes showed a vehicle striking someone, according to the police report. The two men, who were from Mucateo and Everett, that sounds like Washington, upstate Washington, were booked into the Sonomish County Jail under investigation of first-degree theft. Both remain in custody Monday afternoon. Hey, strike one up for the good guys. You pro-gun people should be all over the news with that one, going, this is what we're talking about.

Nobody got hurt. They shot out the tires. And what a fucking surprise that is huh i guess you don't want to steal anything in upstate washington uh so uh yeah good one there i'm glad you had your weapons on you i don't know if it's a carry and conceal and all that shit but i i i don't care we you're not gonna hear the story anywhere else, obviously. I still say arm the teachers. Yeah, but one of them accidentally shoots a student.

Are they that fucking retarded? I know most of them are retarded, but I don't think so. And I'll say it again. If you're in a classroom, somebody storms in with a gun, would you rather be in a classroom with somebody who has a gun, like the teacher, or no? Simple question. Puts the whole fucking argument right to rest. People actually say, no, because what?

You have a shitty life and you want to die? Okay, I don't believe. But I think I read this. I'm not sure. NRA members, there's what, zillions of them? I don't think one of them has ever been charged with murder with their weapon. Guys, look that one up. I'm pretty sure that is the case.

Which refutes the, oh, it's the gun and not the person argument, don't it? Sure it do. You talk this shit out, it's really simple. I want footage of the fucking, I wonder if the cops have body uh they weren't even cops what am i saying i wonder if uh there's any footage of the of the guy in the fucking honda civic the two guys when six people pull guns that sounds like a scene in a movie you know it's like the cops uh some guy trying to rob dunkin donuts Donuts and his 11 cops, you know, the old adage. But I thought that was interesting.

Strike one up for the good guys. The big story, I'll get to it in a couple stories, is, yeah, an illegal immigrant scumbag who's been deported twice or i know he's there he has two dui he's in the country illegally that's all you need to know he shot a cop and oh somewhere near sacramento killed a cop and um three days they've been hunting for him they got him today so uh strike up another one for the good guys i'll get to that in a second. But before we do that, Donald Trump, Trump administration to release hundreds of immigrant families

from a detention center. What the hell's going on out here? Hundreds or even thousands of migrant families are set to be released from the government detention along the U.S.-Mexico border over the next several days. But while the mass release of families may cheer critics of the Trump administration's treatment of immigrant families, the government's new plan will probably lead to hundreds of families getting dropped off en masse at bus stations,

literally out in the cold. So the fuck what? So what? ICE has already started mass releases of hundreds of families a day. i'll explain why in a second naturally there was a law passed in 2015 who was running the country then what was his fucking name yeah we'll get to that in a second but that's the reason this is happening but in a break with standard policy u.s border patrol has developed a plan to release some families directly usually they have to hand them over to ice if they've been held for more than a few days, instead of holding all families for ICE to pick up. Plans for Border Patrol to release families directly

were confirmed to the Vox by two officials with knowledge of the mass release operation. The sources said that releases from both ICE and Border Patrol could start as soon as yesterday and are expected to last for a few days, with hundreds of families a day set to be released into the Rio Grande Valley and around El Paso. How'd you like to be living in those towns? A spokesman for Department of Homeland Security, Katie Waldman,

did not confirm any plan to release families directly from Border Patrol custody. However, listen to this. Here's the important part. In a statement, Waldman partly blamed a 2015 ruling extending legal protections to children. What the fuck? I told you, no fucking kids. No, but you wouldn't listen. Why, you stupid fuck.

Protection to children who arrive with parents in the U.S., including requiring border patrols to keep them in custody for no more than 72 hours. There's the rule that's fucking everything up, amongst other things, for causing the current immigration crisis. That's what she's blaming it on, saying it incentivizes illegal alien adults to put their children in the hands of smugglers and traffickers and rewards parents for bringing their children with them to the United States. Yes, no shit. Exactly right. Passed in when? 2015. By who? Probably, you know, judges legislating from the bench. The Trump administration spent all of 2018 deriding as catch and release in which it has rolled out a series of policy initiatives,

zero tolerance, prosecution and widespread family separation, regulatory efforts to keep families in detention until they are deported, the asylum ban, which was blocked in the courts by who? Lib jerk off judges, activist fucking judges. See, once you get your foot on this, once once you sneak over you can claim asylum saying you're you know you're running from a violent hellhole shithole of a country blah blah blah and then they give you a court date there's no just catch and release well trump wanted to pass this thing where you couldn't do that but of course the the jerk off lip judges said no you can't do that why because uh we need all the brown people we count for the next 100 years to secure our power,

Nick said, emphasizing. Yeah. A not yet implemented plan to force asylum seekers to wait in Mexico. This fucking angers me to no goddamn fucking... Why could I grab this microphone? I beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve. Normally, local nonprofits take care of families

after release at the border, but it's not at all clear that local nonprofits have the capacity to care for hundreds of more families. No, they don't. Neither does Border Patrol. They're not supposed to be babysitters. It wasn't in their fucking job description a little. How much more evidence do you need

to see we have a huge problem? There's another caravan, by the way, getting together in Honduras, they say. What the fuck? And I'll say it again. The only way you're going to stem it is to shoot one of these motherfuckers. Nick, that's hyperbole. Okay, don't use a bullet.

Somebody has to get hurt. Why do you think they're still coming? Why? Because they know after 72 hours, they have to be released into the United States. Throw them on a Greyhound bus. During Obama's administration, they'd pull up and dump them off in Buffalo. I remember reading a story.

Teachers were complaining. Half their class, there'll be eight kids that they didn't even know who the fuck were just showing up. Didn't even let the mayors of some cities know. So I don't want to hear it like this started under Trump. The whole thing is a clusterfuck that could easily be avoided with a little bit of logic.

Yeah. So these non-profits don't have the capacity to handle hundreds and hundreds. That means families who have no knowledge of the U.S. might be getting dumped en masse at bus stations in the middle of winter. So what? Many without winter clothing.

So the fuck what? Maybe you should have looked at the calendar, what the weather was like in the United States when you decided to come here. I fucking love how it's our fault. Goodness gracious hellos. Officials and non-profits alike at the border are being asked to do something

they never had to before. Take care of tens of thousands of migrant families coming in a month, often in large groups and often in remote areas. That's not their fucking job. They're supposed to be there

to deter. U.S. Border Patrol is responsible for apprehending people who cross into the U.S. without papers between ports of entry. But Immigration and Customs,

if that's ICE, is responsible for detaining the immigrants. So migrants apprehended by Border Patrol are supposed to be handed off to ICE as quickly as possible. Under Border Patrol policy, every apprehended migrant is supposed to be transferred to ICE within 72 hours.

You know what? Take that rule away. That standard is especially important for children and families because the Flores settlement, the legal agreement governing the treatment of children in immigration custody requires children to spend no more than 72 hours in Border Patrol custody. So if we hold them longer than that, you're screaming that we're detaining them illegally. If we fucking release them after three days, they have nowhere to go. That's not our fucking problem.

Never was. Jesus H. Christ. Never was. Jesus H. Christ. Since 2015, who's running the country then? That standard has applied to children who arrive with their parents as well as children who arrive alone. Good parents, though, huh? When your kids arrive alone.

You know, little Maria might get raped, you know, sold into fucking sex trafficking, but fuck it. It's worse the risk. That came out in English. That would have been funny. Apparently they're already having an impact on my language. Fellas, how are you? Good to see you. The twinks.

That's the ruling that DHS spokesperson Waldman blames for encouraging families to come to the U.S. without pay. As long as activist judges, like I said, continue to set national immigration policy, she told Vox in a statement, they continue to put family units and innocent children in harm's fucking way. You want to correct me? You are correct, sir. Under the new plan. Sorry, I know there's a lot of reading here, but I don't give a shit. Under the new plan, as described to Vox, ICE has targets for the number of families it's supposed to release from detention in specific areas along the border, with most releases happening in the Rio Grande Valley and the El Paso sector, which covers New Mexico as well as the western end of the Texas-Mexico

border. Meanwhile, Border Patrol field operatives have been given guidance on a new process that would allow them to directly release families under certain circumstances. The guidance instructs Border Patrol employees in a given sector to notify ICE that they've been holding a certain number of families for more than 72 hours. And that it's going to get them out of its custody. Unless ICE has created enough room to pick up those families, the guidance instructs Border Patrol to call a local nonprofit and ask if they have capacity to take newly released families.

It's not clear when the new Border Patrol process would go into effect or whether it has been put on hold. But you know these nonprofits, they don't have the fucking, they're not expecting this many people to show up. Just give you an idea how much worse it's got. Here's statistics. While way fewer people overall are crossing the border than did during the turn of the 21st century, that's not necessarily true of families crossing the border. Why do you think that is?

Because they know about the rule. During the peak of unauthorized migration into the U.S. circa 2000, the overwhelming majority of migrants were single men. Only 10% of Border Patrol apprehenders were families or unaccompanied children. In November of this year, 57, a fucking whopping 57% were families or children. Why? Because they know. They know about the 72-hour rule. The immigration system isn't designed to deal with families crossing into the U.S.,

which is the root of Trump's complaint about catch and release. Of course it is. He's been right all along. Almost done. ICE has already been criticized by nonprofits and progressives in el paso for dropping off about 200 family members at a greyhound station on christmas eve station employees reportedly allowed the families to stay in idling buses to keep warm that's probably better than what they're coming from but you're yelling at isis for that what were they supposed to do then you fucking take them

then you take them into your fucking houses you judges who pass this shit and the Pelosi's of the world and everybody believes in this horse shit everybody calls Trump a bigot or anybody who believes in secure on the borders are big you take them to your fucking house same Same old story. Do as I say, not as I do, you lying motherless fucker. Anyways, what a fucking clusterfuck. What the hell's going on out here?

Not much. Let's go to Marco in Chicago. Marco, what's going on? What's going on, Nick? Can you hear me? Yes, sir. Listen, Nick, 80% of these girls and young women

and all these ladies that come over here from Mexico, it's a stat, you can look it up, your listeners can look it up, they all get raped. 80% of them. 70 countries have walls that work. Since the 90s, they were built. Israel's wall works.

There's less than 1% of illegals in Israel. If you know the wall is there, you're not going to come. You're not going to approach it. Build it tall. Build it long. Stop these people from coming in our country. Stop killing our cops. Stop taking all of our fucking money.

That Pelosi, that cunt doesn't give a shit while she's in fucking, where is she right now? In Hawaii vacationing, the fucking whore. It's dog shit. We love you, Nick. Keep going. All right, Marco. Thank you. I like a guy like that that doesn't really let it fly.

He's a little, holds it close to the vest uh he took the words out of my mouth though she is in Hawaii and this is on the Democrats and the government still shut down and it will continue to stay shut down I'll get to that in a second just like that cop was a fucking cop from Fiji, worked his ass off, wanted to be a cop, beautiful family, gunned down, scumbag Mexican fucking gang member. We'll get to that in a second too. But he's absolutely right. But that's the plan. If you read Rules for Radicals, I think it's Saul Alinsky and other leftist Marxist scum. That's the plan. You overwhelm a country

like the United States by stuff like this. Pretty soon, you put them all on entitlements and it breaks the economy. It's all fucking planned. It's all written out. I like the way Marco said,

80%, so all of them are getting raped. Well, that would be 100%, but no, the statistics are there, you know. But those that would be 100%. But no, the statistics are there. You know. But those are the white man statistics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Imagine letting your fucking kids come unsupervised, make that trip. It already tells me something about your culture. I know not all of yous. And again, most of the Latinos here, I defend them. They die in our wars for us they they're religious most of them are conservative but that's not what we're talking about we're talking about you know a bunch of scum coming over and when Trump pointed out he's a bigot and a fucking racist every day there's evidence and Pelosi must cringe and the other left left-wing douchebags

when I hear a story like uh what happened to that cop up in Sacramento area. They must fucking cringe. Well, maybe they don't. Maybe they're that shameless. So one or two has to take a fucking bullet, you know. Kevin in Chicago. Kev, what's up? What's up, Nick? So Chuck Schumer, his big gripe with the wall is, oh, it's racist.

We're not looking after people, and we don't have the money. Well, tell Chuck Schumer to cut back the funding to Israel. We give him almost $4 billion a year. We can take that money to build a wall with it and tell Israel to tear down its border and let the Palestinians in. Otherwise, you give me a headache. You're a broken record. You're a fucking anti-Semite.

And that's not the fucking problem. We should learn from Israel, actually. See how their walls work. And don't mess with the military either. This kid has a hate on for the Jews like I've never seen. Must have been circumcised by a rabbi unconsensually

in the showers at the YMCA. Shlomo got him with a fucking butter knife. He's got a hate on. I put him on anyways because we have to hear it. We have to hear the beat. And I know a lot of people believe that,

but I'm not going to fucking back the Palestinians who use their women and children as human shields when shit goes down, who launch missiles into fucking cafes in Israel. So give me a fucking break, okay? I say let them have it out, those two. We should step out of the way. Let's have it out. Fucking Israeli military would

destroy them in a heartbeat. Yes, I know they run the networks and the banks over here, but hey, they're very smart people, what can I tell you? I'm in show business. I like them. Barry Katz, my first manager. Richard Super, my agent.

Who am I forgetting? Don Buchwald. That might be German. I don't know. Is that German, Jason? You know. Your dad was on Hogan's Heroes for two seasons. What?

That's close enough. Close enough. Und Buchwald. Klink, you are an idiot. Oh, General Buchwalter. I didn't know they were coming. Ryan's sitting there with, and he shouldn't. This show was on before. He was a glint in his mother's life partner's eyes.

Hey, Ryan. Ryan and Jason went to a jujitsu fucking gym today. And tell us the story when the guy asked you what you weighed. A Brazilian guy asked him. So he was talking to us about the guis, the uniform, and he goes,

well, how much do you weigh? He goes to Ryan. It's this older Brazilian gentleman. Ryan goes about 130 and the guy smiles and goes, like a woman. La mujer.

This dude was built like a tree trunk. His neck was so, he was telling us to choke him. I couldn't get my hands around his neck. Really? He wanted us to wrap our legs around his body. I couldn't get my legs around him.

You know what you should have said to him? Run through a motherfucker face. That would have scared his Brazilian nuts. That's how I played Joe Rogan's brother on uh news radio anybody see that episode yeah me brian callen uh the guy that played ebstein uh from welcome back cotta we were all brothers ebstein was the older brother of me joe and brian cal it was like the three stooges it was so fun i get the fucking like uh getting a like a wrestling match with joe rogan in the kitchen and we had a scene where we had a coffee uh glass i think it

was my idea i'm not even sure but they a glass coffee pot and we like you know busted over joe's head and stomp on him but it looked too real it It looked just like the Goodfellas scene when they fucking killed, what's his name, Billy Bats. Going like this, I'm stomping on Joe. It was unbelievable, that fake glass. It was so fun, and they threw that out of there. But we got to wrestle, me and fucking Rogan,

and at the end of the episode, somebody, I think Rogan, gets thrown right through a plate glass window like this, right into the studio. That guy's dead, by the way. They played Epstein. Rest his soul. Anyways, I digress there.

Here's the other big story. Why do I have to pee? I have the prostate of Hyman Roth. I'm just a Jew living in the twilight. prostate of Hyman Roth. I'm just a Jew living in the twilight. When I come out of the bathroom, if the twinks are here with their protein bars,

I know I'll have a partner. Fucking Ryan. These references mean nothing to him. Ryan's just too busy chasing his friends with a fake axe through a field of lilies. chasing his friends with a fake axe through a field of lilies. Build that wall. Build that wall.

Build that wall. Build that wall. Build it and then put guys on it with fucking bazookas. It's all symbolic. I said that yesterday. It really is. We don't need a wall. We have weapons that evaporate people.

Wouldn't we use those, really, if we wanted to stem the tide? Seriously. Put out giant mousetraps and put, you know, tacos in them and just... Nick, what kind of... They're not all... No, I know, but whatever they eat in El Salvador, I don't know. Fucking... I'm guessing they're still grinding corn on rocks over there. Apparently, the place sucks. They're all all, I know, but whatever they eat in El Salvador, I don't know. Fucking, I'm guessing they're still grinding corn on rocks over there. Apparently the place sucks.

They're all headed this way. Washing their pants in the river. President Trump on Friday, that will be today, you titless wonders, threatened to close the southern border entirely. Why didn't he think of this fucking a year ago? I didn't even know you had the power to do that. It says in the Constitution, not sure which amendment, but it says he has every right to do whatever he wants to protect the people of the United States.

I know that for sure. But he's threatening to close down the southern border entirely. I thought he was talking about Florida and Mar-a-Lago. If Democrats do not agree to provide money to finish building a wall on the Mexico border, he says we will be forced to close the southern border entirely if the obstructionist Democrats do not give us the money to finish the wall and also change the ridiculous immigration laws that our country is saddled with. the ridiculous immigration laws that our country is saddled with.

I don't know how. He got six likes on that one. That's not good when you have a $70 trillion. Hard to believe there was a Congress and president who would approve. Exactly. I'm sorry, but the guy's right. I know he's a used car salesman, but he's been right on all this shit. Trump, in a second tweet, tied the fight over the wall to another of his uh signature issues trade he said the u.s was losing money through the uh

north american trade agreement and that closing the border would be a profit profit making operation yeah that's kevin from fucking uh check his number again okay he wouldn't use the same name would he uh the u.s runs a trade deficit with mexico but outside observers have said that closing the border could cause economic chaos outsiders said that why should we listen to them given the amount of trade and people who legally cross the border every day according to cbs news so take this with a grain of salt about 558 billion in goods float across the border in both directions. Last year, it found that the U.S. exported 243 billion in goods across the border, along with 58 billion in services. Nearly a half million people enter the U.S. each day at various entry points on the southern border.

Yeah, those legal or illegal? Duncan Wood, director of Wilson's Center Mexico Institute, told CBS Money Watch, shutting the border would cost hundreds of millions of dollars a day, or maybe a billion, or maybe a zillion, Duncan. Keep making that number go up, and we'll believe you. He concluded Trump in a string of tweets by accusing Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador of taking money from the U.S., which they do, and threatening to cut off aid to the countries. Congress appropriates money for foreign aid

and would have to sign off on reducing aid to the countries through the appropriations process, something unlikely to happen once the leathery-nippled, ignorant asshole from San Francisco, Nancy Pelosi, and the Democrats take the House majority in January. Do you understand? They're not even going to, they're already planning on impeachment and shit,

and they're going to cut their own throats. They're so dumb. They're so blinded by their hatred of Trump, they're going to hang themselves in the first week, and they're not thinking about fixing immigration, and that's why they keep saying no to trump about everything on the shutdown trump and democrats and congress have been battling over who's to blame with the white house stepping up its efforts to shift blame to the democrats democrats are confident trump will get the blame from voters because of an oval

office meeting earlier this month which trump said he would embrace the government shutdown that was triggered over the wall so So why would he get blamed? I mean, he's right. I mean, if it works out, anybody feel anything out there? The government's been shut now for four or five days. Anybody feel anything out there? I know it's the holidays. Maybe that card your grandmother sent you with her fucking old chicken scratch writing with $4 in it.

Maybe that'll take two weeks instead of the. Anyways. Listen to this. Thursday found a poll release, a Reuters poll. Found more people blame Trump for the shutdown than the Democrats. You don't think that has anything to do with the media lying around the clock for the last two years, do you? You motherless fucks.

Are you that dumb? I gots to pee. 33% blame the Democrats in Congress shutdown compared to 40% who blame Trump. Ooh, just 35% of those surveys said they want Congress to fund the wall. Yeah, I'd like to see how you worded that. I'm going to take a piss. Anybody want to come out here?

Ryan? I mean, we could, but we're boring as shit, so. This piss came on out of nowhere. Stay right there. I can play the gangster hotline video. Go ahead. No, play the other one, the washing machine. No?

Either one, I don't care. Watch where you're going, man. Yo, my bad, man. Watch where you're going, man. Stop bumping me. I'm trying to do laundry lessons. Stop, stop. Watch where you're going, man. Yo, my bad, man. Watch where you're going, man. Yo, watch where you're going, man. I'm trying to do a laundry lesson. Stop. Stop. Watch where you're going. Watch where you're going.

Watch where you're going. Watch where you're going. Watch where you're going. What's got this? What's got this bullshit? Somebody give me a fucking word! A fucking word! a fucking move! No! Fucking move! No!

Fucking move! No! Are you saying fucking stop it? Fuck you! Fuck this nigga! Fuck you! What the fuck? Get me out now!

Oh shit! Get me out now! Get me out now! Get me out now! Right now! No! Fucking stop! No!

No, no, no, no! No! No, no, no, no! No! What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Though April showers May come your way They bring the flowers

That bloom in May So if it's raining I have no regrets. Because it isn't raining rain, you know. It's raining violets. So if you see clouds above the hills. Are you playing the video or just the music? Yes.

Well, we cut back to you when you got to the GoPro. Were you playing the video or just the music? Well, we cut back to you when you got to the GoPro. Were you playing the video? Yes. Thank you. It's like I'm questioning these guys in court. I don't recall, Senator. I got a super chat while you were gone.

Super chat? Go ahead. Let it fly. Todd Joachim? I'm sure you nailed it go ahead china's population is four times as big as the u.s and they are engaged in unconventional warfare with the u.s and they are winning well yeah they're stealing our military secrets and uh i never trusted the chinese i never trusted those fucks, okay? I'm sorry. Stereotypes are true. Italians are greasy, and nobody trusted them back in the day,

and I don't blame them. And the fucking Chinese, they've never been trusted by anybody. Even when I get my bill at a restaurant, I look at that mushy pork, and I go, look me in the eye and tell me that that wasn't cocker spaniel. And they say, why do you think that? Because I said, after I eat it, I don't burp.

I go. Though April showers may come your mother's way. Where did I end off? 8,000 federal furlough. Nobody notices. 35% say they want the wall. That's it. So Democrats will retake the House on January 3rd.

They could seek to pass legislation on that day to reopen the government what's not clear is how the senate would handle such a measure the senate will remain in gop hands next year we have republicans actually enjoy a larger majority um but they'll cave because republicans there's some weasels in there there's some fucking silverback weasel spineless rhinos in there who will cave. Who gives a shit? Keep the government closed for the next two years. I'm telling you, folks, you won't even notice a difference.

Let's go to, it looks like Hebe, but that's it. He told me to spell it out. He spelled it out for me, yeah. Yeah, Hebe, that sounds's... He told me to spell it out. He spelled it out for me, yeah. Yeah, Hebe, that sounds like a Jewish slur. So we're South Town, Kansas City. Lives in the Midwest and wants to put his two cents in on the border. Going to take a lot more than two cents. We need another five billion.

Hebe, what's going on, fella? Hey there, Nick. How's it going today? I'm hanging in there. Hey, I'm glad to hear it. Yeah, I just wanted to give in a quick two cents because you always hear those people like the borders and stuff, you know, and

on the coastline, giving in because they can always show their opinion up so much better because they have new shows, the toss shows, but people always forget that, you know, here in the Midwest. Got to drop you, Hebe. Your phone's breaking up. Maybe call back on a different line of something.

We heard about three words of that. It was all muffled and what not. And if you don't believe me, watch the show tonight. You'll see. I wasn't kidding. I was interested, though, because the guy from the Midwest had an opinion how'd you like to be living

in the El Paso area though and having garbage dumped on your front lawn and fucking drugs being smuggled and rapists pouring oh those are exaggerations my ass let's stay on this

this is relevant to what we're talking about 833-599-NICK 833-599-NICK is the phone number and uh this is a story about the illegal immigrant that killed the cop out there the illegal immigrant fugitive wanted in the murder of a California police officer is in custody tonight after being on the run for more than

two days. God bless the cops. Don't you move you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. Police arrested the man near Bakersfield. That's a 280 miles southeast of Newman where police Corporal Ronald Singh was gunned down early

Wednesday. The arrest was confirmed by the Fresno County Sheriff's Office and the Kern County Sheriff's Office. Here's a picture. We have another picture of him and his family. I mean, this guy's from Fiji. Had to learn English. It's his third language. Beautiful

five-month-old baby. Can you fucking imagine? And all he wanted to do was be a cop over here. He drove two and a half hours he commuted to become a cop. These are the future of this country, guys like this.

The suspect whose name, they mentioned it later today on Fox news it was uh gustava you guys can pull it up gustava arena or something like that his middle name's perez suspect whose name may have connections to a mexican-american street gang really you mean trump was right again according to a image circulating on social media confirmed as authentic by investigators. The photo shows the alleged cop killer posing in a tank top with a metal chain necklace

draped around his neck, large flaming skull tattoo. You know, the best and the brightest. The best and the brightest are coming over. That looks like that Starvoz kid who has a hit show on a patron. There he is. There's a, there's the best and the brightest coming over the border.

Now I want to hear about your sanctuary cities. You fucking liberal come stains. Tell me about the sanctuary cities and, and, and how safe they are when you welcome people like this. Gustavo Perez Araña. Araña. There you go.

Not bad for a guy who pronounces stonem. Yeah. Underneath the tattoo is the words, it's a dollar sign, UR3NUS, which according to police in Washington State is Spanishanish for southerners serenios are a group of mexican-american street gangs with origins in southern california where else how's the how's the whole thing working out in southern california huh how's it going your your cry for diversity and your fucking reads a profile in the group and a police gang recognition guy the gang has allegiance to the California prison gang,

Mexican Mafia, a.k.a. La M.A. The gang recently had been blamed for murders and human smuggling crimes along the U.S. border. Stanislaus County Sheriff Adam Christensen said Thursday police have possession of a truck believed to have been driven by the suspect in Singh's killing, but authorities won't release his identity. We already know. The man appears to have at least five Facebook profiles,

each with a different alias. Could he make it any easier for the car? Four of the pages say he's from Mexico's acclaimed estate on its Pacific coast and contain images of him with Serrano's tattoo and silver chain necklace. Some of the pages are Facebook friends with one another. One of the profiles purportedly belonging to the individual

contains numerous images of pistols and weapons and several images of him crossing his arms while holding a pistol. Again, quality people. The suspect was stopped by Singh for a DUI investigation before engaging in a gunfight with the officer, during which Singh tried to defend himself. Singh was a native of Fiji, left behind a wife and a five-month-old son. Unbelievable. Yeah, he commuted two and a half hours to go to the police academy

to become a cop. But tell me again about sanctuary cities and how those immigrants create less crime than the actual Native Americans living here. Yeah, because there's more of us. Once again, you do percentages. Let's not talk about the fact that our prisons are, what is it, almost 70%?

Black and brown? But I know they're all in there. You know, unjustifiably so by such a racist you know, legal system. So let's go to Turbo Eddie in L.A i bet you're seeing some of the shit up close i lived in

la for four and a half years wasn't as bad as it is now what's up turbo eddie hey nick i'm a huge fan uh i just wanted to ask yes what do you think is the appropriate response to these uh h Honduran invaders? Should we, you know, shoot them outright or should we apprehend them or what? I've been saying that. I've been saying, you know, and it seems over the top and very anachronistic, I guess, to say shoot one. But if it's, you know, if people are invading your country just because they don't have uniforms on doesn't make it an invasion even non-lethal stuff eddie you know whether it's fire hoses rubber bullets somebody has to be seen on tv getting hurt really bad and it you know and it

might fucking deter people it's so silly we could we could put an electrified fence up there that if you touch it it would fry there's a million ways to keep people out. But, you know, even the left and the right, they want the cheap labor. But, yes, I'm telling you, if they insist on doing this, I would like to see some of those militias on the border. You know? And let one of them fuck up. Then you can't blame Trump and his administration. Let one of those patriot gangs.

But, I mean, that's what it's going to take. What do you think? Yeah, I think if we stop the first couple hundred or so, the rest will get the message. Yes, I really believe that somebody has to get hurt. Did you see the girl fall off the wall?

The two of them that fell over the wall about 30 feet? I was belly laughing. Of course, it knocked the wind out of them. Absolutely. But, yes. two of them that fell over the wall about 30 feet i was belly laughing of course it like knocked the wind out of them but yes but did she broke her spine oh did she break her spine god i better send her i'll send her a nice card tonight saying uh but uh yeah i i'll follow go ahead we can't hear you eddie can't hear you cell phones are Can't hear you. Cell phones are fucking horrendous. Thank you for the call anyways, but I really believe that. Don't you think one person being shot, and again, it doesn't have to be lethal.

Yeah, that's not going to stop them. It'd have to be one right between the eyes. I changed my mind. Todd in Tampa. Todd, what's going on? You have a border problem. Yeah, just use landmines like in the old days. No, I'm thinking, you know, if Trump pulls out of Syria, can't he use that money we're going to have, that surplus then, to build the wall complete?

Can't he use that money? I don't know. I don't know what it's costing us. Yeah, you'd think it would work like that. But I'm sure there's some laws saying you can't take money from the Defense Department. You know, it has to go through Congress, by the way. And, you know. Oh, really?

Yeah. They're the ones who have the purse strings. So, but if you watch enough news they contradict themselves this is a thing it's in the constitution the president can do anything he wants to protect us so i don't know why he just doesn't pass an executive order saying you know fuck you i'm taking money from here here and here and i'm taking some of my own money yeah you know yeah if he could say he could close the border why can't he do that i don't understand i don't either i don't either todd anyways it's a real clusterfuck thank you buddy reminds me i gotta call uh we're gonna

get a dated side splitters in tampa one of the best clubs in the nation ladies and gentlemen i don't many clubs anymore but side splitters is uh a good one let's go to drew drew's our buddy who's a uh law enforcement and he wants to talk about that that shooting by that illegal immigrant of that uh that hard-working cop up in the sacramento drew what's going on your thoughts hey nick i just wanted to say, you know, this is one of Trump's strongest points that he's making about this, you know, up the border and the illegal immigration. You had a guy who busted his balls to come to this country legally, went out of his way to learn, you know, to speak English so he could speak clearer on the radio like his colleagues were saying that. I mean mean and then you have an illegal immigrant piece of shit take this guy out i mean i mean it this is so textbook like or even democrats like schumer should look at this and be like that this is exactly what he

what we're talking about people like us that voted for Trump and want legal immigration. This guy should not have been killed, Nick. Yeah, of course not. And here's the thing, Drew. They're so stubborn in their hatred of Trump. There's actually people like, I saw Geraldo Rivera a couple years ago in a fight with Bill O'Reilly on his show. When an illegal immigrant who had been. I saw it. He was a drunk.

He killed some people. He's a drunk he killed some people he's a drunk he'd been deported a couple times and geraldo avera's saying orally saying well if he wasn't in the country it wouldn't have happened so you tell him and geraldo gets always gets his uh latino blood up in this shit he says that's not relevant of course it's you're saying there's no connection between a guy not being here and not killing somebody and somebody being here and there's no connection. It's fucking insane. And like you said, this Nick, it's simple. Yeah.

If the process, if everything went as Trump wants it to go, that fucking guy wouldn't have been here. And that police officer would be alive tonight with his family. That's the bottom line, period. Exactly. You can alive tonight with his family. That's exactly. Bottom line, period. Exactly. You can't dispute that. No, and they do. That's how sick they are.

So drunk with power. It's unbelievable, man. And how can they be? I don't know. The Reuters poll says more people are against the wall and Trump. And how is that fucking you hear a story like this? It cuts to the chase. You don't like to politicize somebody's death. but this cuts to the core of what we're talking about at this very second in this country.

So you're not supposed to bring it up. I mean, it cuts to the very core and that's not the first, this is not an isolated incidents. Other cops have been killed. Other people have been killed by illegal drunk drivers. A kid working a bodega was shot a couple of years ago. I mean, it is unbelievable. I don't, I hate to be so partisan. Thank you for the call, Drew, by the way.

But how can you look at that and go, I'm voting Democrat with Pelosi and Schumer? Yeah, but Trump's, you know, accomplishing, I know, but he's an asshole. He's sexist. He likes to grab pussies and he's a rich white guy. I hate all that. Well, you were taught to hate, to fucking hate all that. This story cuts right to the quick

and I want to see Pelosi, you fucking liver, lily, you naughty girl, and Chuck Schumer, you weaselly spineless. I want you to have the cops. When you guys take over And Chuck Schumer, you weaselly spineless. I want you to have the cops. When you guys take over the house and shit,

I want you to interview the cops' family, and I want you to argue to their face why sanctuary cities are good, why open borders are good. Oh, we don't believe in open... We believe in protecting the border. We just don't think the... No, you don't believe in, we believe in protecting the border. We just don't think the, no, you don't, you cheese-eating dicks.

I've played clips of Obama and Schumer contradicting themselves. You are soulless people. I don't give a shit how many times you yell bigot and racist. Nobody does anymore. It falls on deaf ears. Let's go to Dora,

I believe is the mother of one of our producers here, the great Jason. And me and Dora have a lot in common. She leans right in her politics and she likes fast motorcycles and whiskey. Dora, what's going on? Welcome to the show. Nick, I was prompted to call you through

numerous texts today that because of this subject because I was screaming at home today oh boy now it's just this is one of the most heartbreaking stories I've ever seen it's disgusting it is i mean think of that family and and why wouldn't they be suing everybody uh you know that's that let this happen um it's you know it's a disgusting uh but it cuts to the quick doesn't it dora exactly it sort of embodies everything trump's been talking about um yeah but right apparently no they didn't show it on cs cnn msnbc they they showed nothing yeah i don't know if that's true because you know i won't turn those channels on but every every liberal commentator today when this story was brought up said well kids are dying at the

border are you fucking kidding me i know i know that's their answer what do we have to do with that nothing they come over here i'm sure they're healthy as horses they're fleeing places that are shitholes and uh they haven't even wiped out athletes foot in nicaragua yet uh they they come over here uh you know the kids have lice and shit. The kid had a bad flu. They take him to the hospital. Now they're being blamed. The Democrats and the mainstream media, their propaganda arm, hate this country so

fucking much. It's understated, Dora, how much they hate the United States. And they're so ignorant. Yet people are fleeing everywhere all over the world to come here. Yet they love it. Even the scum over the world to come here. To come here. Yet they love it.

Even the scum that's trying to porn here. But the MSNBC crowd and CNN hate it more than anybody probably trying to sneak in. It's just unfathomable. Now, everyone on Fox, I keep hearing like every night, Laura Inggram, Trump needs to do an Oval Office address, you know, where they cut in on every network. Yes. And lay out the facts of what is going on in this country. They have to watch it.

They can't watch their regular shows. Cut it in during fucking football. I don't care. Oh, no. Yes, I agree. Not the Pina Colada Bowl. There's two six and six teams going at it i uh um no you're absolutely right uh cut into every that's where my jets are playing um yes you're absolutely right that's actually a good idea only you don't think they're going

to sit and watch it the people who need to hear it, do you? Probably not. They'll put in a DVD of some child porn, the shit that they usually watch. Yeah, with Pelosi and Schumer as the stars. Snuff film. Dirty Chucky. All right, Dora. Dirty Chansey. I'm glad you called in.

Good to hear from you. Good to talk to you. Have a wonderful weekend. You too. Your son is a delight the other kid i don't know about yet but uh i don't know i i haven't quite yeah i can't talk to him now that he voted for cuomo he's dead to me all right doya happy new year happy new year all right she's great jason i love your mom and not a dirty way a political way. She was literally shouting about that story.

I walked away for like 10 minutes. I came back. She was still shouting. Oh, my God. Good for her. We need to lighten things up. Some super chats? Oh, yeah.

That'll lighten things up. No, it was like, go ahead. Okay. I need the money. I need... This necktie is blending with the shirt again. All right. So, Pontusky... in 50 crones, which is five bucks. What do you think of Sam Hyde?

I don't know who Sam Hyde is. Where do I convert the crones? Never mind Sam Hyde. YouTube does it. Oh, they do? Yeah, they put it in dollars. I don't have any opinion on Sam Hyde, really. And then we have Qwerty281 who says,

swearing allegiance to Israel to work for the government is law now. Look it up. Ends dual citizenship politicians. Who said that? Qwerty281. Yeah, that's probably Kevin again. Hey, I'm not doubting they have our fingers into our government. Not doubting that at all.

This is how I look at the world, folks, okay? They're really smart. They're really fucking smart. Do they run everything? I don't think so. 98% of it, maybe. But I'd rather be on that side than those fucking uh dirty sand people who wipe their ass with their bare hands and uh sucking goats udders that's when they're

not in the fucking not fucking young boys anyways uh was that it uh ryan anything else what's the matter? Ryan, this is the internet. I'm not on WABC News. He's a little taken aback by sand people. Sand people? I just mean they live in the desert. That's nothing.

So do these Semitic people. I immediately thought of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars. Oh boy, do we have a generation gap? Yeah, me too. What the fuck? The Tusken Raiders? What? I thought that was a team in the Arena Football League, the Tuscan Raiders.

They're minus six against Nebraska. Have you been watching? Talk about corruption in sports. Just watch bowl season. You know I'm a college football fanatic. But if you want to see how money ruins everything, you have coaches who coach all year, leaving teams like the week before the bowl. Boy, there's fucking team spirit, huh?

Makes all their words just useless throughout the year about trying hard and commitment and excellence. They leave a week before, and there's players now, players who think they're going to get drafted so they don't play because they might tear up a knee or an ankle. Just totally corrupt and polluted. And also, every time there's these bowl games they you know they fly to a different city half the team gets suspended the night before they won't

tell you what for the teams won't tell like espn what some of the and you know it was fucking shoplifting or something making somebody look i mean mean, just headline after headline, somebody, somebody, couple of guys for Clemson are playing Saturday because they're tested positive for drug. It doesn't say, you know, performance enhancing drug, you know, probably found a dime bag of weed in their fucking liver. But it's so, what a, what a mess yet. It's still great football. football and uh but i mean can you imagine coaches coaching all year they go no i can't do the ball game fellas wow you really believed in us you phony fuck they might have changed that or they're trying to change it but you got players anyways i need a break let's uh apparently one of them uh one of the fucking muppets uh

got in trouble for dropping the F-bomb, and this has gone, like, viral. People are giving opinions, and in my opinion, he says, fuck, it's as clear as a bell. It's Grover. I move it to follow you. Move the camera! Yes! Yes!

That's a fucking excellent idea! That's a fucking excellent idea. That's a fucking excellent idea. How are they disputing he didn't say that? People are going, I didn't hear it. Really? You're the ones voting against the wall too? You fucking carpet cleaners. Again with that.

I mean, this is. I move it to follow you. Move the camera. Yes, yes. That's a an excellent idea. He couldn't have been clearer if he spelled it out. That's a fucking excellent idea, you dumb witch. Oh, my God.

I love when puppets fuck up. That guy's underneath there flapping around a grown man down there. That's a fucking. And he's going, oh, shit. So now I have a favorite puppet. What a core society. I'm sure I'm helping it out. Though April showers

may come your way, they bring us puppets who are not that gay. Keep on dropping the the Huh? Why? Ooh, solve a toothpick Bobby wheels for Lucy Let me tell you something Oh, my teeth are fucking grayer than the New York Times

Oh my God They always were gray I had penicillin as a kid Which is tetracycline or something I had shots, I had asthma as a kid That which is tetracycline or something. I had shots. I had asthma as a kid. That and corrective shoes, and I wore a big yellow helmet.

Still got laid. Those things are true. I did have corrective shoes, and I... My fucking feet are flatter than a lesbian's ass, I'll tell you that much. You know, the ones that are cops

and shit and Marines. Not the ones that are cops and shit, Marines. Not the ones that chow on each other. Although April Chavez, give it a vote. JJ New Jersey has a opinion about the Muppets swearing. JJ, it's clear as a bell. He said it's a great fucking idea. Yeah, I know. And I've heard people say, yeah, he says, excellent or fucking.

This is like that thing that I did earlier in the year when it said like is it say this or this is that I heard the word fucking clear as a bell right there like you know and and I mean it's like it's like I'm sitting there if I was like five years old I'd be like hey mom Grover said fucking and my mother would be like yeah yeah whatever yeah you know but yeah, you know. But Jesus Christ. Join us tomorrow when Grover says P is for pussy. I'm waiting for Kermit the Frog saying, yeah, Miss Piggy's a fucking cunt.

Oh, Miss Piggy, huh? She smells like essence to shit. Kermit the Frog. Unbelievable. Fuck you. Oh, God. You know, I remember, like, I don't know if you ever heard the rumor that they said that Ernie and Bert were gay. Oh, yeah. They lived

above me. There's no doubt about it. I could hear their little fucking foam heads banging off the walls all night. Ernie, don't shove that up my... Okay, Bert, I won't shove it up your ass again. This guy called in to do his moment impressions.

This is what my Friday nights become, Nick. I'm not kidding you. Yeah, I know. By the way, I gotta say something. I saw you open up for Dennis Leary when he had his holiday special a long time ago. Radio City?

No, this was when he had to tape his holiday special in that oh yes yes in new york okay i told i was the only guy in the audience who laughed when you said the joke of we used to put a star on a picture of a star on the tree and you said we put a picture of maury amsterdam on top and that joke fucking killed i'm the only guy who laughed in that whole fucking audience everybody else was like you know we're wanting to see you know bare naked ladies yeah the band and i'm like i'm like howling my ass off when you said that yeah nick pleasure to talk to you and uh you this i'll i'll call i'll call again whenever i get the chance yeah whenever another month of curses i'm gonna go back to this all right j JJ. Happy New Year, man.

Yeah, I remember doing that and they cut out half my set. That's when I started to get a little too edgy for the Comedy Central people. Look at this. British man jailed for what?

Flossing? What? Who did a fucking English tooth job? British man jailed for writing rude uh Christmas card it was like sexually I guess explicit to his neighbor Santa you know what I want for Christmas this year what a big fat cock oh in my ass oh that's not nice the rapidly spreading control of speech and thought in the UK manifesting itself at times as extreme priggish censorship was dramatically underlined Friday when a Scottish court jailed a man for writing a sexual Christmas card to his next door neighbor. Falkirk, Scotland resident Alan West spent Christmas Day alone. Got drunk, according to a court report. west spent christmas day alone got trunk according to a court report uh desiring company the 64 year old wrote and hand delivered a christmas card through his female neighbor's post box inviting

her to join him for the afternoon i bet you she was popping her buttons at that one west claimed he sent it the second card he gave to the woman just to be neighborly although the precise content and wording of the card was not reported the b BBC stated it was obscene, in quotes. And when asked whether it was an appropriate thing to write to a neighbor on Christmas Day, West admitted it was not. West's defense counsel told the court he was alone on Christmas Day and he was hoping because of a company. Inexplicably, through alcohol, he has sent something which caused her

to call the police. What is going on in fucking England? What a shithole people go you should go over they do comedy they'll look really will they i'm sure that the audience will love me but i'll be taken off in cuffs west admitted uh sending a sexual written communication without the recipient's consent it's not like he sent a dick pic. He's 64. Maybe he sketched it or something. Charcoal, I don't know. At the Falkirk Sheriff's Court,

a crime so serious, listen to this, he was sentenced to two months in prison. Fucking England, you are losing your shit. Honest to God. It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy.

Can you imagine? And don't think oh that's saying that shit i don't know who more who's more pc we are i as far as i think the race thing goes no that's not true either because they have all these muslim neighborhoods you can't go into and but it starts in the motherland for you white people it's just the way they're just white people are dissolving like sugar cubes. Just two what? Did I say years or months? Months. Two months? Yeah, in prison.

But here's the funny one. The ruling follows another 2018 Scottish Sheriff's Court case which generated intense media. We covered this on the podcast before. In March, Scottish YouTube comedian Marcus Meacham, also known as Count Dankula, was found guilty of a hate crime for what he called shitpost posting for comedic effect.

You guys remember this one. It was, it went pretty, it was pretty. In 2016, a YouTube video, the comedian explained his girlfriend thought her small dog was nice no matter how badly he behaved it was. So to test her tolerance, he taught it to perform a straight-armed Nazi salute

in return for dog treats. Here's the, here's the. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil.

Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil.

It would have been funny if it was a little puppy German shepherd, you know, but, uh, but you know what? I watched that whole thing. I just showed it like a snippet there, but he was saying shit. Should I guess the Jews? That's what he's asking the dog. You know, I think that might've even, but even that's, if you either believe in free speech or you don't, even as horrible as that is, but, But, and the dog, come on, he wasn't lifting it.

That wasn't a full fucking Z, Kyle. Oh, God. You should put a little swastika around this little, you know. But he got in deep shit for that because england is just a fucking socialist nightmare he's found guilty of being uh grossly offensive under the communications act of 2003 let's not forget he was a comedian and this type of pc horse shit drifts across the pond it's i guess it's just as bad here. It's worse there, though.

And I brought this up about eight times. Bill Hicks said that about 25 years. He came back from London. He goes, what a socialist. And this guy, Hicks, was no righty. He goes, what a fucking socialist nightmare that is. They asked him to promote. He got a commercial.

They wanted to promote something called Orange Drink. He's like, yeah, but what is it? Orange Drink. Can you just see there's no individuality? It's all, it's creepy. But this guy, two months for that? I mean, Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, Muslims are running around yelling Allah Akbar, stabbing people,

and they're passing no-knife laws over it. Do you know how many dick pics I've been sent? And those guys aren't in jail? I'm trying to see how this relates to the story. I mean, he sent an obscene Christmas card. That's not that big a deal. No, but dick pics aren't a big deal either. Unless they're being sent to a young boy like yourself.

I mean, they're a bigger deal than Christmas card. What do you do when you get a nice one? Do you blow it up and frame it and put it over your bed? What do you do? I show it to all my friends. Everyone I got. And you go, look at this guy's dick? We rate it.

Who are you hanging out with? A of rent what the fuck oh no i was friends with a whole bunch of girls in college oh girls yeah oh i thought you meant uh guys too okay it was funny what did the girls say when they said that was a nice one uh most of them called it small everything that we saw every dick pic I got. Oh, they did? So you're hanging out with them? There were two good ones. I'm very uncomfortable with this conversation. Only you could make me uncomfortable.

A comic who's been doing comedy for 30 years. Only you could make me blush. Wish somebody would send me one. Speaking of dick pics... Right this very minute, you are being watched by something on the moon. Well where was it when I had my Ceres? Paul Lynn. run through a motherfucker face finally tonight I was gonna do this Jennifer Roth

you know the guy Charles Leno the fucking football player's white girlfriend they dug up some racist tweets she was speaking

honestly about black guys is what she was doing and she admits she likes big black dicks so didn't really make a look that but she whatever maybe i'll touch it tomorrow it's it's so it's over a week old so you guys probably already i don't know let's end it with jerry brown on 2020 uh 2020 not the show the you know um Press asked Jerry Brown, who recently told NPR that national Democrats are becoming too radical for voters.

That's coming from him. For a piece over the weekend, if having three white men, they asked him if having three white men, Bernie Sanders, Vice President Biden, and Beto O'Rourke, white men, Bernie Sanders, Vice President Biden, and Beto O'Rourke, as his party's early 2020 frontrunners, hurts Democrats, especially after the 2018 midterm elections in which Democrats celebrated successful male and minority candidates. Can you imagine? That's what they're focused on. Wake up, white people. Do you think it hurts that you have three frontrunners of white males? Not really, because white males started this country and it became the only superpower left on the planet. And it was run by white males predominantly. I know you want to change all that shit and we can watch this great country turn into a fucking, you know, a suburb of Detroit that's burnt out.

And that's what it will. But Nick, that's racist and sexist. You know, a suburb of Detroit that's burnt out. And that's what it will. But Nick, that's racist and sexist. Yeah, well, fucking sue me. Can you imagine asking that question? It's going to hurt your party. That's how fucking invested they are. And they're stupid, supposedly colorblind society. Is it going to hurt if you have three white guys?

Oh, Jerry. Fucking. The headline says Jerry Brown 2020. What's wrong with white men? We'll be running things for quite a bit of time. He says, Jerry says, look, it's not the skin color. It's who the right person with the right set of

qualities to lead the nation. Yeah, that wouldn't be you. That can be a man or a woman it can be someone of a background other than what we've seen for most of our history so but the headline says he says white guys are gonna be running it for a while am i missing something he gave a pc answer other democrats have won that nominating a white man in 2020 could turn off democrats of color the party what all 17 of them last I checked, the country was still 68%. What?

That's what Trump figured out, by the way. He's like, fuck the I'm going for the white vote. Give me half of 1% of the white vote. That's like getting all of the black and brown. Somebody did the math for him. Probably Ann Coulter. I'm not sure.

Yeah, other Democrats have warned that nominating a white man in 2020 could turn off Democrats of color. The party cannot afford to lose what is expected to be a tight 2020 battle. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, the most fucking shameless hypocrite phony out there, recently told CNN host Van Jones, he's a well-spoken black fella that she was worried that the three current front runners are white men can you imagine saying that

i would love for a white guy i'm worried about the democrats they only have colored chicks coming up and i want them to say it like that just to get a rise out of them and watch them shit their pants Say it like that. Just to get a rise out of them and watch them shit their pants. She says, and this is Kirsten Gillibrand, Democrat, New York. Yum, yum. I aspire for our country to recognize the beauty. She's gay, by the way.

Not that that has anything to do with anything. It's not like it shapes her worldview. Bullshit, it doesn't. I aspire for our country to recognize the beauty of our diversity in some point in the future. And I hope someday we have a woman president. That's what she told Van Jones. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A big fat stinking cunt.

Said and true, but I need to tell you, you're a motherfucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A motherfucking cunt. Everybody knows from the head to the toes, you're a big fat stucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, motherfucking cunt. Cunt, cunt. Everybody knows from the head to the toes. You're a big, fat, stinking cunt. Then Senator Kamala Harris, Democrat, California, who hates men and white people, so she's perfect, a potential presidential contender, also reported, reportedly, the Associated Press that, reportedly,

they can't even fucking write me, reported to the AP that she would hope that her party's presidential nominee would be representative of the country in terms of race and gender. Well, like I said again, Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! What does that mean? Shut up!

Would be representative of the country in terms of race and gender. Well, I know it's more female, right? Because there's more chicks on the planet. So, but this country's still predominantly white, so you don't mind a white, uh... I'm confused, Kamala,

with your, uh, hatred of whitey and of males. She's gonna shoot to the top of the list. She's like Maxine Waters when Maxine didn't look like a fucking postman nobody calls them racist and for saying shit like that nobody nobody Fox News you're so right wing why aren't you out there why aren't you out there going that's fucking racist you. You're sexist. Why?

Because you're still playing by the rules and you're never going to win. The Dems have been using the fucking race and gender card and it's been working beautifully for 50 years. You guys better come up with something to trump that. No pun intended. Or we're going to be Kamala Harris president and fucking Kirsten Gillibrand vice president.

Maxine Waters, secretary of defense. Think about that. These are the people. Joe Biden, three-time loser. Bernie Sanders, fucking Marxist communist from Vermont in his late hundreds. Guy's going to choke on a poppy seed his first day in office. Was that a bagel joke? Kinda, yeah.

Anyways, that's it. That's enough. I got one more super chat, Nick. All right. CrashHard, who paid us in Norwegian Krones again, said, great show tonight, Nick. Thank you very much. What was the guy's name?

CrashHard. CrashHard. Norwegian Krones. The what? Oh, Norwegian Krones. Norwegian Krones again. Norwegian crones. The what? Oh, Norwegian crones. Norwegian crones again. They sound delicious. You know, the Chinese are croning people.

They're croning animals. Oh, my God. What kind of old school racism is that? I don't know. That's it. Remember, you guys, hey, won't see you until Monday, God, what kind of old school racism is that? I don't know. That's it. Remember, you guys, hey, won't see you till Monday, which is New Year's Day Eve. Did I say that right?

New Year's Eve Day. New Year's Eve Day. We will do a show. I'm thinking about moving the time up, but maybe, I don't know. But now it's going to be six, but I get the gig that night, which is only about 20 minutes from here, but I have to put on a tuxedo and a top hat, and I'm going to do some tap dancing and, uh, a unicycle, and there's going to be bottle rockets, so show up at the Tarrytown Music Hall, uh, I will see you, but we will see you Monday, uh, day, New Year's Eve Day. No show on New Year's Day.

And then we'll be back with a terrific lineup of young children that Ryan met at the mall. Remember, you think it, I say it. It's been that way forever. You're welcome. See you soon, kids. I'm out.