The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump the GOP Kingmaker | #494 | Nick Di Paolo Show

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

Lara Trump hints at Trump 2024 run. Parler caves to the left. Ron DeSantis, ahead of the curve, proposes election reform. FREE! UNCENSORED! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST Support FREE SPEECH via The Nick Di Paolo Show!  CONTRIBUTE: NickDip.com Paypal.me/NickDiPaoloShow SubscribeStar Entropy "SuperChat"   FREE every Monday - Thursday 5PM EST on The Comics Gym, Gab, Instagram, Facebook, Rumble, Bitchute, Telegram, DLive and Nickdip.com. Monthly members of The Comics Gym receive exclusive ENCORE content, access to "Ask Nick" questions, and 300+ videos in the archive. All for Members ONLY, so JOIN! https://www.thecomicsgym.com  https://www.bitchute.com/nickdip https://www.facebook.com/NickDiPaolo/​ https://www.youtube.com/c/nickdipaolo...​ https://www.gab.com/nickdipaolo  https://www.instagram.com/nickdipaolo/​ https://www.t.me/nickdip https://rumble.com/c/NickDipPodcast https://www.dlive.tv/nickdipaolo     CAMEO personal video from me!  http://www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo​    MERCHANDISE & TOUR DATES http://www.nickdip.com

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Welcome to the big show on a Monday Another week ahead of us How are you folks? Glad you are with us Did you have a good weekend? Did you wear your mask to the big show on a monday another week ahead of us how are you folks glad you are with us did you have a good weekend did you wear your mask to the cvs like a little take marching orders from these assholes oh i have had enough i can't even watch tv man i can't even watch three seconds of a clip knowing this cocksucker stole the election and and then just laying it on boy i knew they hated this country but i had no idea they wanted to transform it and blame it on old white people or any white people you racist fucks on the left you everything you've been calling us

what do you think of that i i have a clip i saw but i didn't put it up for the show. I'll show it tomorrow of Biden speaking this weekend. He's worse than my dad was. I swear to God. My dad had Alzheimer's. And this guy is well on his way, man. He's like, if it was a baseball game, he's about to, I'd say he's at the top of the sixth. Yeah, he won the fucking election. Anyways, let's get right to it.

Some good news right at the top of the show. Trump, and again, I don't know if this is true. I saw a clip of, you guys know who Mancow is? Very big disc jockey in Chicago. He had a national show and still has a national show. And he's good friends with, you know, Alex Jones. And they were both saying how somebody tried to assassinate Trump in December, and that's why he kind of went into hiding, and I, why wouldn't you believe that? Well, it's Alex Jones, I don't give a shit,

he's a lot, he's right about a lot of stuff, and, but that didn't make the mainstream, didn't make the mainstream news, huh? Anyways, Lara Trump, that's why I'm talking about Donald, Didn't make the mainstream news, huh? Anyways, Lara Trump, that's why I'm talking about Donald, indicates Mr. Trump probably interested in 2024 run. Former President Donald Trump's daughter-in-law and former senior advisor Lara Trump indicated that he's probably interested in running for office in 2024, which sort of changed money said last week,

I'm staying right here. He he has told us to stay tuned and that this is not over for him. And he has indicated that he probably would be interested in running again in 2024. She told Fox News on set. Think about that because I believe somebody

probably tried to kill him. And he's like, I'm coming back. This is a guy who's a zillionaire, doesn't have to do this shit. So just think about that. Has Biden ever showed that much gumption as far as love for his country? Fucking false teeth, plug wearing dick. I hope the picture is better than what I'm seeing because I'm my chin's all gray. Oh, that's me. I'm sorry. And discussing the former president's

schedule of parents at the conservative political action conference at CPAC in Orlando, Florida this week, his first public appearance since leaving the White House, Laura Trump called him the head of the Republican Party. Who the fuck

would argue with that? Your fucking boss? Your fucking boss. That's him slap around Mitch McConnell. She says he is party. Who the fuck would argue with that? Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss? That's him slapping around Mitch McConnell. She says he is really the person that everyone will continue to turn to in order to help get them across the line, whether we're talking about 2022 or beyond, she said. I think this man has changed politics and he has changed our party, the Republican Party. There's no doubt about that. It's not the Republican Party. It's Trump's party.

Got to change your name. Change it to, I don't know, Bigley. The Bigley Party. The Bigley. Biden's a cocksucker. He stole it. His daughter-in-law's comments came just days after he told Newsmax Greg Kelly that it was too early to make such

a decision. He said that last week on his political future, but you know damn well he knew what he's doing. It's too early to say, but I see a lot of great polls out there. That's for sure. We have tremendous support, tremendous support like you've never seen before. I want to say, yeah, but tremendous support. And I'm looking at poll numbers. They're through the roof. And as you know, my numbers. They're through the roof. And as you know, my roofs are like 40 stories high, bigger than any roof you've ever seen. I'm the only guy who gets impeached and my numbers go up. It's true.

What does that tell you? Trump's senior advisor, Jason Miller, I call him rapey eyes. Or am I confusing him with Stephen Miller? Said last week that the former president will discuss the future of the GOP and lessons learned in the 2020 election campaign in his CPAC speech. That's the end coming at the end of this week. Trump plans to share his views on growing GOP support for his America First agenda,

as well as about what the Republican Party could do to yield wins in the 2022 and 2024 elections, Miller told Newsmax. I think what you're going to hear President Trump talk about next Sunday on the 28th is the future of the Republican Party and the number of lessons that we learned in 2020 where we saw President Trump bring in a record amount of African-American voters, bring in a record amount of African-American voters, Latino voters, women voters, Down syndrome voters, people with malaria, all kinds of different people. Bigger numbers than we've ever seen in modern history.

We have to keep these voters engaged in the party. So true. According to former Trump senior advisor Stephen Miller, Trump will also lay out an optimistic vision for the United States and focus on standing up to those dirty Chinese, reviving U.S. manufacturing, dismantling the monopoly of big tech, knocking Joe Biden out behind a high school, reopening schools the border eating mcdonald's 12 days a week i'm on other topics cpac the largest annual gathering of conservative activists will take place uh from february uh 25th to the 28th with trump speaking on the final day and I'm loving it. He was the best guy around. Mitch McConnell is shitting his pants.

Mitch McConnell's just thinking that Trump was going to go away quietly into the night. Listen, you turtle fucking chinless, spineless career politician asshole. You're going to be gone real soon. Do you understand? Trump carries a grudge, which I love about him. He never forgets anybody.

Anybody. My wife says I do the same thing. I don't let the little shit go. Trump's the president. I'm doing a podcast. Fucking Garden City. You can laugh out loud, John. That's why we have you here.

Fuck it. Don't hold that shit in. Hey, Raz, I hope the picture is better than what? Because like my whole fucking mouth is distorted and shit. How's it look? It looks pretty good on this side. I can't hear you, son. It looks good over here.

Okay. On my screen. Yeah. Yeah. You said that Thursday, too. Anyways, let's get right back to the show. So anyways, I found that very uplifting that Mr. Trump is going to be breathing down these people's necks and you're going to have to get him.

He'll be the king kingmaker in 2022, which, by the way, will be here at a blink of a fucking eye. You know that they're already starting to run now, probably. Here's another sign of the times as far as Joe Biden and all those jerk offs censoring people like myself. And, you know, Parler that was supposed to save was supposed to be the conservative equivalent of Twitter. And you remember me saying, well, that's kind of silly because if you have total free speech, that means even the jerk offs on Twitter are going to jump on this thing and raise fucking hell out there. It's worse than that, folks. Parler is, first of all, it's still not in the app store. Thanks to, you know, thanks to fucking Tim Cook or whoever the Apple guy is.

Parler, the social media app that became popular with right wing users is back. However, it's still not on the Apple App Store, having been shoplifted by a couple of, you know what? What? Hey! Couple of Amish, the Spanish Amish, having been removed following the Capitol Hill riots

on January 6th. The Google Play Store and Amazon Web Services also withdraw all hosting and support for the app. Imagine that. What? Nothing for you. Why not? Why not? Parler said that it was built on sustainable, independent technology

and no longer relying on so-called big tech and a statement seen by reuters it's a bunch of horse you're lying and you're a piece of they also announced a new ceo mark mechel should be schmeckle that's jewish for dick by the way mark mechel this that was pretty good mark mechel the service intends to bring back existing users this week in open for new users next week Apple CEO Tim Cook previously commented that parlor needed to get their moderation together hey Tim suck my dick how's that in French imagine he's telling them they got to get this shit together. Oh, that's unnecessary.

In order to return to the app store. The app's website says parlors are concise community guidelines are based on fair and just legal precedent and are enforced by community jury. Now we have a jury. Boy, nothing says free speech than a fucking jury judging your posts. Do you believe this shit? They caved. Dan Bongino was part owner of this. The guy was a former, you know what, secret service guy and cop.

What's going on, Mr. Bongino? Who fucking hired this Schmeckle guy? It gets worse, folks. Parler, caving like everybody else. Another win for Biden administration and censorship, which I'll give you that. Are you interested in the real story? Yes, I am. Let's have it.

Excuse me. I got a burp coming from Thursday. Hot dog. In the time of a week, I have been slammed. Oh, this is from Rich Wood. Do you remember Rich Wood? Dick Wood. He's the guy that we had. He actually found my first studio down here and he's a good friend. I still keep him around when I'm the car needs washing and I need somebody to run to the CVS. Rich, you know, I'm busting your balls. You have fucking dingbat. Uh, that's Raz laughing because he replaced him. Uh, but Rich Wood was on parlor and he's, he's very, I'm glad he sent

me this shit. Uh, in the time of a week, he, this is him telling me in a text, I've been slammed with terms of service. This is on parlor and a troll filter violations and got hit with a special badge that isolates a user on the platform basically he calls it shadow banning which he's right the only thing that's offensive he says about me is probably my sense of humor yeah well that in your wingtip shoes you know shitty glasses but uh i speak no different than fans uh of your show would on there and he's right uh but he says just wanted to let you know that their artificial intelligence moderation is nearly final and they will be suspending and kicking people off the platform hard in about a week or so no different than facebook or twitter does okay this is parlor I'm

talking about they need to do they need to do a form of moderation to get back this is Richard's opinion and the good graces of Apple and Google to get back on their respective apps to which is stupid rich if you get in the good graces of Apple what why would you want to know what they have to do is get away from them what do they do? Have Apple build the second server for them? I don't fucking get it. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

He sure does. Anyways, then he wrote, love you, Nick. Really miss the show, but I'm enjoying my new job here at Wendy's on Kit Kat Avenue. We love Rich. enjoying my new job here at Wendy's on Kit Kat Avenue. We love Rich. Rich Wood is what they call a pillar of the community, the gay community. What? Parler Community Guidelines.

He sent me screenshots of the Parler Community Guidelines, some examples of Parler shitting the bed as far as free speech platforms go. Slow it down there, killer. Can we blow that up or am I supposed to be able to read that? Finally, while Parler allows the posting of not safe for work and trolling content, we provide a double filter system to help ensure this content is not viewed by those who choose not to see it. Wow, is that free speech. This is making Twitter sound fucking loose. What else? Do they have more examples? Rich Wood got, our buddy Dick Wood posted this on Parler and got a violation for it. Remember the Gorilla Glue Girl? Anyways, Gorilla Glue Girl, Tezuka, and Rich's joke was, and Biden said blacks are too stupid to use the internet. Actually, Rich, not bad, actually. Actually, not bad. But I can see why. Now,

that's what we call it. It could go either way. It's a little offensive, but it's making a good point. He's pointing out some hypocrisy there, but also the average idiot's going to look at it and go, he said, black people can't. That's where we are. When somebody on the right or somebody like Rich Wood says some, a fan of mine says something that's ambiguous, they always side with the, you know, the safe jerk offs that are for centering people. So he got a violation for that. And then he got pulled over for speeding on his way home from Wendy's. What?

I hate Mondays. Oh boy, is this great? No, it's not. I'll tell you who could run for president tomorrow on the Republican side and win in a landslide. Although Trump isn't going anywhere. But DeSantis of Florida. He has made these liberal mayors all over the country look really bad. So bad that fucking Joe Biden, not my president, is thinking about restricting travel like in and

out of Florida because down there, they're wide open, no masks, they're fucking restaurants. It's beautiful. It's the way it should be. And jerk off Biden. Imagine he's treating it like another country. DeSantis, as usual, a step ahead of everyone else. He's in a campaign mode is what I say, whether he knows it or not. It's called leadership, Mr. Biden. So he spoke in front of some right wingers this weekend and he's still upset about the election. At least he has the balls to say it. And I haven't heard anybody on either side

come up with a plan to fix the next elect. When I say fix, I i mean fix what was wrong so he came out this weekend with like an eight or nine point plan um let's take a look at the uh could be the next president harvesting in the state of florida and we're going to make sure again we're not a big ballot harvesting state as it is uh but any type of loopholes or any type of uh of room where that could be abused, we want to make sure that we address it. We also want to have, even though we didn't go down the road with COVID of just mailing out indiscriminately ballots, you had people that

were getting ballots in some of these states that hadn't lived there for 10 years when they did this stuff. They didn't have clean voter rolls. You have all these ballots floating in the ether. So we didn't do that. But I think we need to make it in law that we're not going to do mass mailing of unsolicited ballots. It doesn't work. You are correct, sir. Amen. And then he went on. He had a whole bunch of them. Counties will be prohibited from receiving grants from private third party organizations for get out the vote initiatives. That kicks them right in the balls of the left. Number two, ballot boxes would be examined for their trustworthiness.

Three, vote by mail ballots could not be sent in mass. Only voters asking for a ballot would receive one. Even here in Savannah, me and my wife got three in the mail can you fucking imagine worse than that I found two bags of Trump votes that were torn up in my garage that they have to I don't know how they got there it's really fraught with the fucking fraud down and a number four vote by mail requests must be made each election year number five a vote by mail requests must be made each election year. Number five, vote by mail ballot signatures must match the most recent signature on file. Wow, what a novel idea, huh? To have a fair election.

And the left will look at the shit and go, that's racist. What are you saying? Black and brown people can't write? Six, political parties and candidates must be permitted to observe the signature matching process. You hear that? This is going to be fun. Oh, it's going to be a bloodbath. I cannot wait for the midterm elections. Who the fuck knows what kind of cheating is going to go on. Number seven, supervisors of elections must report how many ballots have been requested, how many have been received, how many are left to be counted. It must post over vote ballots to be considered by the canvassing board on their website before the canvassing board meets.

These are all things you'd thought would be being done already. They probably were up to this election. Number eight, precincts must have real-time reporting of a voter turnout data. Un-fucking-real that we even have to say this, huh? Good for Mr. DeSantis, I say. He was the best guy around. He's the only one talking about this huh I don't know I don't know how that works I know because even with each state, you have Democrats, although the Republicans smoked everybody at that level. So I think the majority, like 33 of the chambers across the country, but I don't know.

I say violence. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, a lot of states used that as a pretext to be able to do hastily new forms of voting. DeSantis went on to say... That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags. He says, we didn't do that in Florida. We had a system. We had confidence in the system. We knew it was safe, and we did it.

had confidence in the system. We knew it was safe and we did it. We were not going to be sending out unsolicited mass mail ballots because as we've seen, there's problems with that. And when people tried to sue, we told them to go pound sand, he said. Have you ever pounded sand? Fucking hurts. We're not, he says, we're not going to change what we were doing it's true listen to this in the 2020 so the result of the 2020 from administrative perspective was that florida had the most transparent and efficient election anywhere in the country other states took days weeks and even months to count their votes how about that too too? Don't forget that, Mr. DeSantis. You have to vote on November 3rd, everybody. And yet Florida by midnight on election night, we had 90 on election night, get this, 99% reporting and 11 million votes counted, tabulated and put out to the public. It can be done and don't let anybody tell you that it can't be done. God bless this guy.

I am your voice. Oh, I thought that was for me. I thought it was for me. Good luck with the business soon, since it doesn't conflict with mine. Never tell anybody

outside the Republican Party what you're thinking again. Let's get to Joe Biden. I'll bring the clip in tomorrow of him stumbling. I almost said this has to be a deep fake thing or somebody edited it, but apparently not.

I'll show it to you tomorrow I was too lazy to get off I was watching American Idol last night like those young girls but his Joe Biden fucking up the country I'm doing everything Trump has done especially when it comes to the issue of immigration and illegal immigration jerk- joe has turned on the illegal immigrant magnet and here is the result he's telling everybody right folks and they listen you understand it's so funny the dem say we're nothing but a racist society yet every third world brown black shithole watches the news and go hey they're giving more stuff out in america and white people

i shouldn't have said that, but I haven't seen any white people point over the board here, but I'm sure the Swedes will be here. Now, wait a minute. They're already on the dole. Todd Benzman from a CIS Chicago. No, CIS found this video from Peru. A violent caravan of extra continental, they're calling, migrants burst through the peruvian border it looked like black friday at walmart uh that was a good one huh razz i hope the people can hear razz laughing i get it uh peruvian border security forces from brazil powered by biden open border promises they are africans haitians and from nations all around uh the world

these people from countries come here this holes a hole up is down black is white hey watch it uh take a look at this clip of this security look at this it's the beginning of the Boston Marathon. Actually, all the Nigerians are on the lead. Look at that security, huh? People in their grass huts being held together by banana leaves and mud. Yeah, it's a beautiful place. Nick, that's racist. Yeah.

Look at this. Imagine if that was get ready for that. That's going to be you looking out of your front door if you live in San Diego in about two weeks. You had a screaming baby. Even a baby's upset. That was Peruvian. Who the fuck are these pigs? They shall be pulled in a few minutes I can feel it you guys ever see the jazz singer probably not I saw it in the 70s Jason you weren't even born John you can see the jazz thing that more with Neil Diamond he had a big hit from that It's actually great songs on the album. It was called They're Coming to America. It's an upbeat thing about immigrants.

They're coming home, but not without us. Anyways, somebody did a song parody called They're, what is it, Jason?

They Snuck into America? Roll the tape, Razzy. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. One, there's a fellow named Juan. He'll build you a home and manicure your lawn.

Cross the border late at night, he sneaks into America. Dodging dogs and big searchlights They snuck into America They've come From a poor and impoverished place To pick lettuce heads and champagne grapes They came in a swarm Didn't fill out their forms

He took my job, his name's Jose I'm not sure he's American Brought his kids, they're here to stay This knock into America American Brought his kids They're here to stay They snuck into America They come into America They snuck into

America Their home is in America They made it to America My country used to be They made it to America All right My country used to be I say it to the beat

One more chips and salsa please And one more thing I'm the late It's a vase I bring Jose Jose I think he killed those two, girl. Seriously.

That was offensive. I don't condone that type of stuff, but boy, I enjoy it. That's pretty accurate. How did they do that? Is that a guy imitating Neil Donovan? It sounded pretty good. I'm frigging right on the money. I know Neil. He was my roommate in the 40s. Listen, I want to thank the people who donated to this show. You guys are what keeps this show

up and running and we need it more than ever since Thursday. Larry Ramey, Ohio, James Roberts, California, Pia Anderson, Denmark. I wonder what that looks like. Eric Zanglien, Wisconsin, Barry Blakely, Alaska, Chamberlain Sturgeon, Texas, Lauren Bobert, Kentucky. That must be somebody stealing her name because she's famous right she's in the news recently I know one Bo bear was that's a Ron Remen pronounced Raymond I'm sorry New Jersey Jose can you see Australia Sean Powell Florida new monthly contributors. I got to thank these people very much. Joseph Medrano, Indiana, William ice, California,

Christine woods of Florida. Thank you guys so much for becoming, um, monthly supporters to the show. It means the world to us and it really does. I mean, the hassling parlor and everybody else and uh boy i i just i knew they hated this country but i had no idea what was coming jen saki you know who she is maybe the worst press secretary presidents ever had it's like sending an eighth grade girl out there she just gets smoked every fucking time she's out there but it's hard it's not her fault

because Biden's lighting through his false teeth about everything that's to send out this freckled titless one that she has no clue Saki gets smoked by ABC's Jonathan Karl he asked her a question was Biden was bragging about how great Cuomo was as far as taking care of COVID. And watch her get thrown off her game and avoid the question here. As we look forward. But we are going to continue to work with a range of governors, including, of course, Governor Cuomo, because we think the people of New York, the people of states across the country need assistance, not just to get through the pandemic,

but to get through this difficult economic time. And that's where our focus remains. All right. But, Jen, my question was, does President Biden still believe that Andrew Cuomo is the gold standard, represents the gold standard on leadership during this pandemic? Just a yes or no. Well, John, the president, the president. Well, it doesn't always have to be a yes or no well john the president the president well it doesn't always have to be a yes or no answer john i think the president is focused on his goal his objectives as president of the united states he's going to continue to work with governor cuomo just like he'll continue to work with governors across the country we know that much do you get that little

red beaver right up there and funny I don't think it's crazy at all. What a liar. And her job is a lot harder than being like McEnany, Kaylee McEnany, or who's the one who had the lazy eye governor huckabee's daughter or whatever yeah she's running for seat by the way but they had it a little easy because believe it or not is uh against conventional wisdom trump didn't lie as much as these people do yeah what are you nuts no i'm not actually notice they're not counting lies anymore as soon as trump stepped down no fact checking going on anywhere you people

they lie about everything especially colby right now i couldn't believe this weekend i put on the tv and see goddamn adolf fauci still sp shit. He hasn't been right yet about anything, but they're putting him right up front. Yeah. Follow the science. Follow the guy who got a D minus in science. Adolf Fauci spouting more of his dog shit, COVID propaganda. Why are, why are we still listening to this chump? Andrew Cuomo has more credibility when it comes to the virus. I really believe that at this point. So do you. Let's take a listen to

some more propaganda from Joseph Goebbels. He's also vaccinated. So, for example, if you're vaccinated and you have a member of your family vaccinated, someone that's not lived with you and actually be with them without a mask, can I sit down and give them a hug and things like that? And the answer is very likely, of course you can. But if only 10% of the society is vaccinated, you're not going to be able to go

to a restaurant or to go to a theater because it's not going to be opening. Oh my God. Absolute garbage, right, John? John's a former cop, by the way. That's why I love him. But it is. I've cops cops told me that. Down in Tampa.

I have a couple that comes all the time. She's a nurse. He's a cop. And he was at the last show. And he goes, yeah. And he said, we don't even enforce some of this shit. Because it's unconstitutional. Still listening to Fauci.

I am, I'm numb. As of Friday, the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said around 42 million people have received at least one dose of coronavirus. That's only one eighth of what people have received as far as heroin and fentanyl this week in the country. Of those 17 million people, 17 million people of those have been fully vaccinated that's not very good joe let's sneak into america one they start with Juan

speaking of COVID I don't watch SNL anymore either like most of you people and I hung in there even in the lean years I still like the show every once in a while I'll pop it on but it's just so predictable and lib and then they

try to be they try to take shots at the right. Like this weekend, I saw a clip online. They had what Pete Davidson doing a great Andrew Cuomo, by the way. It was pretty, you know, but of course, you know, they got him sitting next to a woman playing Ted Cruz and Ted Cruz looks like the wacko. You know, they take a few shots at Cuomo, but make Ted Cruz like the center of the whole sketch.

Just so you're so ballers. There's nothing edgy about you. Do you understand? Do you understand? You're the establishment now, you people, you libs who run Hollywood and show. You're the establishment. There's nothing edgy. Everything you do is punching down now.

We're the counterculture. So have some balls. And all you're going to do is tell it like it is in some of your jokes. And you'll be considered edgy and relevant again. You might even get some numbers back. They face some backlash. And look, I know Michael Che. I've met him a few times. Nice kid.

Nice enough. But, you know, like he doesn't like whitey like most black people and um but he's a funny good comic and uh so he did something that's considered controversial i don't agree with the joke because uh it's not true you can check it you're supposed to try to be honest but you know he has to play his lefty part. And he's catching a lot of flack for this, for which I disagree with. I'm actually defending because, once again, it's a symptom of political correctness run amok. SNL faces backlash over Israel vaccine joke. Saturday Night Live is being criticized for a joke Michael Che did during the show's most recent broadcast.

It's being considered anti-Semitic and shit. And here's the joke. Israel is reporting that they vaccinated half of their population. And I'm going to guess it's the Jewish half. Even the crowd was like very timid. New York is just that's why I'm so happy. I'm not going to stand up there anymore they have live people in the studio they probably don't have as many but um but that's a big thing i'm guessing the jewish half and he's catching all kinds of flack which i happen to disagree with the joke stinks because it's not based on fact but um they you know for this to be so controversial, I'm sorry.

Fake news reports that Israel is not providing vaccines to Palestinians or Arabs. It has become the newest staple of anti-Israeli propaganda. So Michael Chase catching all kinds of shit for that. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. jews hate shoes uh jewish leaders have pointed out that the false accusation repeats themes of anti-semitic uh blood libels dating to the medieval era when jews were falsely accused of poisoning the surrounding populations um so uh i don't know if you want to believe that or not can you stay cat you are fake news sir is are fake news, sir. Israel, in fact, providing vaccines, it's providing vaccines to Arab citizens who form roughly 20% of the total, though some are reluctant to take them. The Arabs are like, what are you fucking?

I'm not trusting in Jew shots. I'll do jello shots. I'm not doing Jew shots. They used to drink Christians' blood, remember? Hello shots. I'm not doing juice shots. They used to drink Christians blood. Remember, Israel has also offered vaccines to Palestinians and has been now come to think of it. Bunch of Palestinians now have fucking one hundred and three degree fever shit in their pants. Anyways, the vaccines to Palestinians has been allotted by the United Nations, hardly a pro-Israel organization, which is true. We know that for working with the Palestinian Authority to fight the pandemic.

Israel has how silly to be worrying about covid over there when bombs can land on you when you're at the beach on a Friday. You got your mask. Yeah, I don't think that's going to stop the mother of all bombs. You got your mask? Yeah, I don't think that's going to stop the mother of all bombs. Israel has prioritized its own citizens in vaccination, noting that Palestinian authority has authority for the health care of its own residents and that the Palestinian government chose to purchase Russian vaccine. You try. Boy, do they hate the Jews. They trust in the Russians. You know what the Russian vaccine is? It's like vodka, fucking lemonade and dirt. Anyways, they're getting the vaccines from Russia instead of the American-made Pfizer or Moderna vaccines. Israeli ambassador to the UN, Gilad Erdan, called the false claims about Israel's coronavirus vaccination program a blood libel, according to the Jerusalem Post, which I get every Sunday on my doorstep.

Erdan told the Security Council that according to the international agreement, the Palestinian Authority is responsible for the health care of its own population, just as is responsible for their education system. We know how that goes. The PA, that's the Palestinian Authority, he explained, informed Israel they intend to purchase vaccines from the Russian government and Israel has announced it will facilitate the transfer. What does that mean? Now if I'm Palestinian, stay out of it. We don't need you to facilitate anything. What are you going to do? Fucking call FedEx and get the tracking number for uh anyways these are the facts anyone who joins the palestinian campaign of lies either doesn't know the facts or is motivated by politics or anti-semitism the ambassador said and i say lighten up for christ's sake will you

that's what you hear after they take a shot I hope this works inshallah my favorite Arabs say I mean God willing I've been watching all these Middle East shows on Netflix Tehran is fucking great it's only eight episodes but watch that one Fowler is one of my favorites of all time. But what's so funny is that they always greet each other with praise be God, peace to God, may God be upon you. They say peace at every greeting, yet there's no place that's more violent. May God be with you. And this fucking missile from my shoulder hit your sister in the tits.

David Harris, CEO of the American Jewish Community, accused Michael Che of spreading an anti-Semitic lie. It's a joke, David, or whatever your name is. Harris called on Che to apologize. Give me a fucking break. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? God, help us. Will you, will you please shut up? God, help us.

I had a woman from the, what is it, the Jewish Defense League, GJDL, come up to me after her husband like runs the chapter out. And I was in Vegas and she hands me a little pin. And to this day, I lay in bed going, is she trying to tell me I was being anti-Semitic or is she really a fan? I got to believe she came down there. She listens to the show. She hears me hit the Hitler button four times. Let's lighten it up with some, I don't know, some news about ugly broads.

Danish woman, singular, says she won't shave mustache or trim. singular says she won't shave mustache or trim. Won't shave mustache or trim unibrow just to land a man. Oh God. Jason, we missed a sound effect chainsaw. That's all right. Uh, anyways,

a 31 year old Danish tutor from from copenhagen has a message for potential suitors oh that's her right there so i wasn't even looking at the picture she's delicious holy eddie monster unibrow Holy shit! Fucking Eddie Munster. Unibrow. Well, John, that's actually very perceptive. We'll show a picture when she's not looking like a relief pitcher for the Mets. Holy Christ. Imagine fucking kissing that. It's like kissing a fireman, as somebody once said.

Look at that unibrow. It looks like a skid mark in my underwear. What? Nick, for Christ's sake, what are you, 10? Yes. So anyway, she's telling guys, you got to take me if you don't want to fuck Brezhnev. Don't come near me. She said, take the tweezers and shove it.

I will. I'll shove it right in your beard. Eldina Jaganjak is fed up with what she says are ridiculous beauty standards imposed on women especially when it comes to uh hair removal well aren't you living a horrible life oh boy you jag and jack ditch the tweezers she wants used to trim back her unibrow and the razor to shave her upper lip back in march 2020 she said she was just as feminine with the uh with the hair there is what she said i don't know about and you blow it you blew it i don't want a girl blowing me and tickling my balls with her goatee

you're waiting for her you're on a date she's like'll be right down. What are you doing up there? I'm putting wax on my handlebar mustache. Not all men were as complimentary. Unilad reported, Jack Janik had to cope with a guy yelling, pluck that. Or probably Trump. What are you doing? Or staring at her eyebrows. I had a third head. I'd rather the third head, if you know what I'm saying.

It gives you five holes. I'm going to do the math. But that, to her, is a positive. She told the outlet that going au naturel is a way to weed out the bad apples among prospective boys. Oh, yeah, so if you don't like a girl with a goatee, you're a faggot. boy oh yeah so if you don't like a girl with a goatee or a faggot this again this comes from feminism they're so obsessed with equality all the hood to the point where they I'm sorry those are the rules in society maybe not over there but over here you know Europe girls a little hairy in Europe they

don't mind but if you're gonna be kissing any Americans again you can't you can't look like mr. T it's feminism drives them nuts my vagina is angry it is it's pissed off so as you're up a lip and your chin hey show a picture of her look Look at, look at that. I still wouldn't fuck her. She's pale. Those aren't exactly tiny eyebrows. She's actually cute, but I'm just saying, oh, you got a nose ring in there. I'd like to grab you by that and lead you to the slaughterhouse. She's actually pretty, but, uh, you know, she says before I let my unibrow grow out, I did feel like there were extremely limited options to how women were supposed to look. Jagging Jack said, if a man doesn't shave and doesn't pluck his eyebrows, no one notices a comment and it's nothing out of your.

Yes, because he's a man. These are just thousands of years of tradition you can turn it around if you want because you can't get a finger stuck in you excuse me she's pissed you don't want to look at your girlfriend. Get prepared to go now. She's gone. All right. Raleigh Fingers.

Freed from fussy personal grooming, Jack Janik said she can focus on the tasks and goals that I need. So in other words, guys looking at her and weird, keeps her from focusing on her goals. Maybe you're half retarded. You're actually a pretty woman shave that shit off Nick that's sexist I'm not gonna let this is what men expect and stinking and clicker good enjoy that vibrate of the next 35 years and goals that I need to have done and less on how I appear while doing them shut up shave your pussy and put it on YouTube

anyways two-year-old punched in the face by a stranger on a Manhattan subway wonder what color that suspect was a hush falls over even Knicks fans a two-year-old boy was slugged in the face on a Manhattan subway train when his mom got into an argument with a stranger Saturday. The latest in a recent spike of city transit violence, police said. The toddler was with his mother on a northbound C train. I used to take that all the time. At Douglas Boulevard and West 116th. If you're not familiar with Manhattan, we're getting a little up there.

It's a little seedy, but it's way nicer than it was years ago. 116th, but there's no nice places in Manhattan now. So anyways, Douglas Boulevard, and that's not fucking Douglas from My Three Sons. Frederick. Yeah, not Fred McMurray. Wasn't there a Doug Chippinin i don't know anyways uh yeah the street's not named after fucking uh oh nick shut up uh anyways it's up there in manhattan

shortly after 3 p.m right in the middle of the day when uh when the kid was punched by an unidentified female strap this is what kills. There's cameras all over the place. We know she was a female, so you know her race. By not mentioning it, you make us know what race it was. Do you understand? You're not kidding anybody. Unidentified female with a mustache and unibrow. Imagine punching a two-year-old boy in the face listen but listen to why

this happened they the suspect had gotten into a dispute with a boy's twenty-year-old mother I want to know the color of her too possibly over a brushing of shoulders now Nick why is, why are you saying, well, you know why, and struck the child while aiming for the mom, which is a lie, too. The attacker described, how do you fucking, your mother's 5'8", you're 3 inches. How do you,

it's called punching down, I think. Yeah, an uppercut. Maybe, that's right, John, maybe it was an uppercut. The attacker described as in her 40s, fled when the, she's a 40-year-old woman punching a two-year-old in the face. Fucking Irish people. Fled when the train reached the station. Oh, I don't like these stories.

God, is New York a shithole now? It's not fair, Nick. You don't know that. Anybody want to bet me? Just my luck. It'll be fair, Nick. You don't know that. Anybody want to bet me? Just my luck. It'll be some Polish immigrant. The child was taken to Mount Sinai St. Luke's Hospital for treatment, police said. The incident was just one in a slew of troubling recent train crime, including horrific random slashing spree on the A-line early this month that left two people dead and two others wounded.

That was done by a homeless guy and he killed another. There was a, he stabbed the homeless guy. They found him still sitting in the subway seat. Yay. New York. Yay. Yay.

So yeah, that's what's going on in the subway. That was de Blasio at a press conference. Uh, that is it ladies and gentlemen for today. I want to thank you guys again for supporting the show. Don't forget the comics, Jim.com,

the comics, Jim.com. It'll be the again for supporting the show. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Thecomicsgym.com will be the permanent home of this show. Move all your stuff if you haven't. And cameo.com. I did a slew of them this weekend. Go to my profile on cameo.com and tell me about the person. And I'll roast them on my phone. I'll make a little video roasting a friend of yours,

or being nice, saying happy anniversary to your parent, whatever you want. I can make or break the day. I'd rather ruin it. It's way more fun. That is it. You guys think that I will say it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow.

Have a good day, everybody. 🎵 guitar solo I'm out.