The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump to Dems: 'See you in Court' | Nick Di Paolo Show #439

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

Trump vows to take the election results to the courts. Meanwhile, votes, predictably, are still not tallied. Biden makes a suspicious early-morning surge.

Hey everybody, free speech is under attack and it doesn't matter if you're a comedian like me or the commander in chief and it's not just the media anymore, it's the people who run our hospitals and teach our kids, the World Health Organization. We can't let this happen, we have to keep telling the truth and that's what I try to do every day on this show. keep telling the truth. And that's what I try to do every day on this show. As you know, Twitter shadow banned me years ago before I even knew what it was. And YouTube blocked me. I've been punched in the face after a show. I've been fired from a radio job. But they can't stop me, though. OK, I'm just going to keep coming at you like the raging bull. I'm putting the finishing touches on my new platform where I can say whatever the fuck I want.

And yes, I'll be giving it away for free, just like Trump will with a vaccine. In the meantime, I'm going to use YouTube and use other platforms that I mean use to help spread the word. So we are bigger and stronger when I finally make the jump to the new platform. I also need your help to continue to build the platform and keep this show and future shows free. It ain't cheap to build this platform. Please consider contributing at www.nickdip.com and know that your contributions keep free speech and my style of free speech alive. Thank you guys so much. All righty. Welcome to the big show.

Slow News Day. What do you guys want to talk about? Maple syrup in Vermont? I'll get to all the election excitement and just what we thought was coming is coming. But I want to get something off my chest that's very important to me right now. Okay? Very important to me. my chest. It's very important to me right now. Okay. Very important to me. So many of you people have sent me emails, messages on social media, asking me to come to perform in your town,

which I'd love to do. I've been getting these from everywhere. I'm talking everywhere, New York, Florida, Oregon, Vermont, whatever, Montana, people all over. Not only that, Alaska and people in countries like Canada and Australia and the UK. And I can't tell you how much that means to me. You know, I'm an international star, apparently. Stand up has always been my bread and butter. You know that. So not being able to tour during this pandemic, knowing it's a fucking has been brutal. Ask my wife.

She's getting out of the shelter this week. It's been brutal. I had so much new material going into March, which makes it even that much tougher. I wish I could come to all of your towns and countries, but I can't. My jet's not working, especially now that they're shutting everything down due to COVID.

Anyways, on Saturday, November 21st, write it down. Saturday, November 21st, I've got a show at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. The audience size will be limited to about 250 people, live people there. But I'm also going to be bringing in a full crew to do a three-camera shoot of this show, and we will live stream it.

So you people who don't get to see me are going to get to see me doing what I do best. We'll be micing the audience and doing, we're going to do it all in one live take. So it's going to be really fun. I can't wait to do this. It might be the new way comics live now. I don't know.

I want all of you, no matter where you are, to be able to watch and have a live stand-up comedy experience. Watching stand-up live, it's like rock and roll. It's the only way to do it, really. It's best live, especially me, because I have no fucking idea when I go out there what I'm going to do that night. I kind of. I have an outline, but you don't know. I could punch a waiter on the back of the head if he interrupts me. This will be streaming on on the Watch Live Now network and tickets just went on sale. Watch live now dot com. That's watch live now dot com. You can watch on your home TV or any other device through Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, or Android TV. And I just found out today that even if you can't watch it live, if you still get the stream, it's available to you for another week.

So, you know, if you're wherever, you're not going to get up to watch me at four in the morning. You're going to have it for a week, which is excellent. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I've played this room before. It's excellent. People, let's say in Ireland, who have never been to Vegas

can see what an actual showroom looks like. I'm looking forward to this. I really hope you all be there for the live stream. Again, you can get tickets at watchlivenow.com and I'll add this to my website also at nickdip.com. Please make plans to join me live from Vegas on Saturday, November 21st. I cannot friggin' wait.

Thank you so much. Let's get right to the poo-poo cock-a-pee-pee. Oh, you guys knew, and I knew. I don't know if any of you caught me on Comea last night, and they were getting all excited about when things are coming. I said, guys, guys, guys, guys, relax. Pennsylvania is going to fuck up everything. And sure enough, who would have guessed a state that actually changed laws

so people could count ballots a week from the goddamn thing or whatever, who would have guessed this would be a problem? That doesn't smell fishy to you, that the legislature actually changed it as far as counting votes so people could you know i guess postmark as long as it's postmarked before november 3rd they could even if they come in late they come whatever you know damn well if you're my fans you have to know do you see it all now do Do you see it clear? COVID, all this shit. Do you see how it was a movement?

There's a coup going on. And you know who's running it? Big tech, the fucking mainstream media, and the Democrat Party. This is the coup, folks. A silent coup, a bloodless coup. Bloodless, not if I have anything to say about it. I'll go over there and bitch slap rachel matter right in her face um this is total bullshit and we knew i was saying on call me

you should admit uh did you see the show belly laughing um we knew this was going to be the problem spot did we not i think we did uh so anyways, Trump comes out last night at like, I don't know, one in the morning, two? Yeah, it was two in the morning. I'm trying to stay up. I haven't been feeling that great for the last, I don't know, year and a half. And all sweaty and shit. And I'm starting to nod like, you know, an old man and shit. I finally pass out and I hear, oh, I open my eyes and he's right in the middle of, so this is at two in the morning and because I am your humble correspondent, you guys are probably in bed, I hope.

I got to see this and knew it had to be on the show. So let's take a look. This speech he gave, and everybody's in a big hullabaloo about it, naturally, because he has the balls to say, hey, you're trying to fuck me, um and i'm glad he came up by the way he came out you know why he came out as an answer to joe biden who came out earlier and and said thank you people you know people in their cars honking for being patient and uh we feel good he didn't say i'm the winner

like trump did which caused a big hullabaloo naturally but i'm gonna tell you something after this story that actually almost justifies what trump said do you understand folks you have to understand this is a coup you really don't think they're gonna do any shenanigans after they try to impeach him two and a half years of fucking mulligate and whatever else the kavanaugh hearings and everything you don don't think they're going to try to fuck him out of votes. You can't be that naive. And I know you're not because you're a DiPaolo fan. So this speech is about nine and a half, ten minutes.

We're going to watch a lot of it where I'm just going to pick it apart a little. Okay? So be patient. Don't, again, I figured you guys went to bed and you got up and went to work today because you have lives. Unlike myself. Let me tell you something. Fuck Joe Biden and fuck the Democrats.

Anyways, roll that tape, sonny boy. This is without question the latest news conference I've ever had. Shut up. Thank you. We love you. Don't yell shit out. I appreciate it very much. I know you do.

You're lovely. I want to thank the American people for their tremendous support. Millions and millions of people voted for us tonight. And a very sad group of people is trying to disenfranchise that group of people. You are correct. And we will stand for it. We will not stand for it. I want to thank the First Lady, my entire family,

and Vice President Pence, Mrs. Pence, for being with us all through this. Patty Pence. And we were getting ready for a big celebration. We were winning everything and all of a sudden it was just called off. The results tonight have been phenomenal and we are getting ready. What he means by called off is like even Georgia, which disappointed me, he's still winning by a cunt here i thought this is a red red as it gets but but apparently not but anyways uh georgia like at midnight we're tired

and another state what was the other state j a couple of them quit at like midnight when did that ever happen before pennsylvania we know it was gonna stop. We, they, and you know, because shenanigans you have to do behind the scenes after the main show's over. But that's what he says. It just stopped. Which I'm like, I've never heard that before. We're going to finish tomorrow morning. Ooh, why are you doing that? Well, there's a Everybody Loves Raymond marathon at midnight out there on MeTV.

What the fuck are you doing? Go ahead, roll it. I mean, literally, we were just all set to get outside and celebrate something that was so beautiful, so good. Such a vote, such a success. The citizens of this country have come out in record numbers. This is a record. There's never been anything like it. To support our incredible movement, we won states that we weren't expected to win. Florida,

we didn't win it. We won it by a lot. We won the great state of Ohio. We won Texas. We won Texas. We won Texas by 700,000 votes. Pause. They don't even. 700,000 votes, and they didn't mention it in the tabulates. That's not a little bit of a win. That's a stomping.

Remember, we were all getting nervous. Since when did Texas turn purple or whatever? When? When all the jerk-offs from California fled. That socialist shithole. And you know what? They bring their liberal politics, believe it or not, just like the New Yorkers did. Went down to Florida, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and brought their shit.

But obviously, they were outnumbered in Florida, too. 700,000 votes in Texas? I mean, that's a beating, is it not? Go ahead. Included in the tabulations. Tabulation. It's also clear that we have won Georgia. Georgia.

We're up by 2.5% or 117,000 votes with only 7% left. They're never going to catch us. They can't catch us. Likewise, we've clearly won North Carolina. We're up 1.4%. Even Biden's people said he's going to take that one. 77,000 votes with only approximately 5% left. They can't catch us.

They can't catch us. We also, if you look and you see Arizona, we have a lot of life in that. And somebody said, somebody declared that it was a victory. And maybe it will be. I mean, that's possible. But certainly there were a lot of votes out there that we could get because we're now just coming into what they call Trump territory. I don't know what you call it, but these were friendly Trump voters. And that could be overturned.

The gentleman that called it, I watched tonight. He said, well, we think it's fairly unlikely that he could catch. Well, fairly unlikely. The fuck is this? And we don't even need it. We don't need that. That was just a state that if we would have gotten it, it would have been nice.

No, you need it. Hold on. Here's a... We have a breaking news that my great producer, Jason Hannamy, about Arizona, right before we came on. And let me, let me read it to you over here. It's a very dangerous situation. Hold on one second, kids.

On Wednesday, that will be today, a significant error was discovered that could affect the results of the presidential election in Arizona. Edison Research data, which major news organizations including the new york times utilizes to report voting results reported that 98 of precincts in arizona had been counted when in fact only 86 had been counted and they asked joe biden about that what did he say

i don't know nothing about that you're full of shit you're cheesy new york times editor patrick laforge tweeted an error was found and this is from the new york times in the data feed from edison research and it says used by new york times and other news organizations for arizona results 86 of ballots have been counted not 98 okay that's 13 that weren't counted and most of them are coming from counties that love Trump, supposedly. New York Times has not called the state for Biden, though he still leads. Asked what percent of the remaining ballots are mail-in and what percent were cast on election day, LaForge responded that according to the link, 100% of the absentee ballots were already counted, According to the link, 100 percent of the absentee ballots were already counted, which is good news for Trump.

Those are likely Dems. Right. But I think I'd wait for the data outlet to fix its data before taking that to the bank. He says Arizona is just waking up. Time difference. And presumably officials there will be clarifying matters today. matters today. According to the Times, the New York Times, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has won 51 percent of the vote compared to Trump's 47.6 percent. More than 2.7 million votes have been reported, the Hill noted. National Journal editor-in-chief Jeff Dufour noted, this gives some credence to the Trump campaign's argument, which we just played for you, in a call with reporters that it expects to pull ahead in Arizona because most of the outstanding vote is in Trump-friendly territory. So when Joe Biden's female campaign leader got news of that, we got her on audio. You cursed rat!

Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! What a world! What a world! This is big. Because he needs Arizona, right? And if he doesn't get it, then he has to

lay, you know, supposed to, he has to lay in Michigan and Wisconsin or whatever. So I don't know what he was talking about. He said it wasn't, you know, we really didn't need it. I think you might today. Maybe maybe he didn't last night, but OK, let him roll. Possibility, maybe even a good possibility. In fact, since I saw that originally, it's been changed and the numbers have substantially come down just in a small amount of votes. So we want that, obviously, to stay in play. But most importantly, we're winning Pennsylvania

by a tremendous amount of votes. Yeah. You are correct. a huge margin cause and i'll say it again what a coincidence the state that changed its voting laws in court a couple of weeks ago. Huh? Hmm. Something smells fishy.

But he's got such a huge lead in Pennsylvania, which surprised the shit out of me that, you know, but who knows how many mail-in ballots and you'll see. Go ahead. We're up 600. Think of this. Think of this. I can't think of this. I'm busy.

We're up 690,000 votes. Jesus. Ace. These aren't even close. It's not like, oh, it's close. With 64% of con vote in it's going to be almost impossible to catch and we're coming into good pennsylvania areas where they happen to like your president hold on a second so that's a ton 690 something thousand ahead isn't that going to look fishy if they come up with

a bigger number than that come on folks quit yanking my chain over here go ahead donald we'll probably expand uh we're winning michigan but i'll tell you i looked at the numbers, I said, whoa. I looked, I said, wow, that's a lot. By almost 300,000 votes. And 65% of the vote is in. And we're winning Wisconsin. And I said, we don't need all of them. I think you do. We need. Because when you add Texas in, which wasn't added,

I spoke with the really wonderful governor of Texas just a little while ago. Greg Abbott, he said, congratulations. He called me to congratulate me on winning Texas. I mean, we won Texas. I don't think they finished quite the tabulation, but there's no way. And it was almost complete. But he congratulated me. Then he said, by the way, what's going on?

I've never seen anything like this. Can I tell you what? Nobody has. So we won by 107,000 votes with 81% of the vote. That's Michigan. So when you take those three states in particular, and you take all of the others, I mean, we have so many. We had such a big night. Pause. This is where he threw me a bit. He said, here's the number. I have 951, Electrova. That's what he'd do. Now, go ahead.

Take a look at all of these states that we've won tonight. And then you take a look at the kind of margins that we've won them by. And all of a sudden, it a sudden we're up 12 votes and we have 60 percent left we won states and all of a sudden i said what happened to the election it's off and we have all these what happened and then they said oh oh, because you know what happened? What happened? They knew they couldn't win, so they said, let's go to court. And did I predict this, Newt? Did I say this?

I've been saying this from the day I heard. Imagine if Newt stood up and said, no. They were going to send out tens of millions of ballots. I said, exactly, because either they were going to win, or if they didn't win, they'll take us to court. So Florida was a tremendous victory. 377,000. Good time to point out all the pollsters pulling their pricks and how wrong they were. Let me tell you something. And I pointed this out last night on Cool Me. their pricks and how wrong they were. Let me tell you something. And I pointed this out last night on Kumi. Even an hour into the election last night, the election coverage, I said, these people on the

left, the NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, they have to be embarrassed right now. They have to feel flush because all they've been telling us with the drudge report, all the mainstream media that he was here. What he had a five percent chance of winning. I kept seeing that number, right? So that meant when they started counting votes last night, it should have been a landslide for, you know, according to what we were hearing. So let me tell you, I didn't think the media could get any less credible.

They might have to shut the fuck down. Polsting, Polster's a finish. That guy, Frank Luntz, who's a Polster, you see him a lot on all the channels. He said that himself. He goes, I hate to say this. I make a living by being a Polster. But he goes, if we're way off on some of these things, we are finished at his industry. Luckily, he knows how to play bass guitar. So him, him and Governor, was it Governor Huckabee? They're goingee they're gonna yeah they're gonna do a cover band they're gonna cover bread tunes uh anyways this is so predictable folks the whole covid thing was

baked into this they sat there a year ago how do we how do we keep him he's so popular how do we keep people from we're gonna fuck it up at the polls what do we do i'm him? He's so popular. How do we keep people from, we're going to fuck it up at the polls. What do we do? I'm telling you, it's all baked in. It's not a conspiracy. It all goes together, and big tech is helping. Go ahead, Don. Think of this.

Think of this. Ohio, a tremendous state, a big state. I love Ohio. We won by 8.1%, 468. Those are beatens. Those are whippens. Almost 500,000 votes. North Carolina, big victory with North Carolina.

And so we won there. We lead by 76,000 votes with almost nothing left. And all of a sudden, just stopped this is a fraud on the American public this is an embarrassment to our country we were getting ready to win this election frankly we did win this election people are going shithouse that he said that but let me ask you a question again don't mean to be biased here why would you doubt that after what he's been through the last four years between big tech centering him fucking all the mainstream media outlets colluding with each

other lying about this guy putting him through mulligate put him through friggin uh an impeachment why would you doubt his word these fuckers will stop at nothing this is the level they operate at that's what you're watching a bloodless coup but they're not dealing with the dope guy became a fucking billionaire in the real estate world doing business deals all over the And he's surrounded by geniuses. Why would you doubt him? You know? And people, you know, what's his name?

Wallace, Chris Wallace last night, right after he said that. He's like, well, the president, you know, he just threw a match onto a gas can or whatever. But really? So what's he supposed to do? Go to bed and go, yeah, you know what? Fuck that. This is why we love him. And I can't help it, but you can't tell me they're not trying to steal it.

Go ahead. So our goal now is to ensure the integrity for the good of this nation. This is a very big moment. This is a major fraud in our nation. This is a very big moment. This is a major fraud in our nation. We want the law to be used in a proper manner. So we'll be going to the U.S. Supreme Court.

We want all voting to stop. We don't want them to find any ballots at 4 o'clock in the morning. It's a very sad moment. To me, this is a very sad moment. And we will win this.

And as far as I'm concerned, we already have won it. So I just want to thank you. And I want to thank all of our support. I want to thank all of the people that worked with us. And Mr. Vice President, say a few words, please. All right. I need to hear from the cardboard cutout.

Imagine if he got up there and went, Mr. President, thank you. I'm a little far. I'm already getting death threats on my rotary phone. Anyways, so Trump went to bed probably going, Could I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't?

Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom! Father! Good Lord! That's Steve Bannon. No freedom! Father! Governor! That's Steve Bannon. Ah, by the way, I haven't started the Lucy shit. They haven't sent me any. If you go, why is he smoking?

I cannot wait to get that. I'm going to be chewing seven packs in a day. So, yeah, that was, I wanted to spend a lot of time on that because, like I said, I believe you people have lives and didn't stay up till three. You get kids and stuff. And again, I'm homeless. Here's the other big story out of last night. Twitter, the Jack Dorsey, that cum guzzler of a bearded chooch. What did he do?

Twitter censors Trump mid-election. censored Trump mid-election. Twitter censored another post from President Trump while votes were still coming in across multiple states on election night. Okay, is that typical? Son of a whore!

Trump posted, we are up big, but they are trying to steal the election. We will never let them do it. Votes cannot be cast after the polls are closed. And Twitter is now hiding the tweet

behind a warning label saying some or all of the content shared in this tweet is disputed and might be misleading about an election or other civic uh process every time a politician opens his mouth they might be misleading you i notice you're not censoring anybody on the goddamn left. You're misleading, you fuck. Oh, am I angry? I'm sorry for the language out there. You think, don't underestimate Twitter's power. The platform also added a link encouraging users to learn about the US 2020 election security efforts. encouraging users to learn about the U.S. 2020 election security efforts. Unbelievable. Put out more propaganda.

Twitter added a label to the tweet, swallow and it's harmful in cacapupu, which read some or all of the content shared on this tweet is disputed. Everything's disputed that anybody says. Might be misleading or it might not be, dick cheese. So why are you putting a warning label on it? Might be right on the money. As a matter of fact, we just played a clip about Arizona where he was right. Might be misleading about an election or other civic process.

Learn more. Twitter users are also unable to reply to the tweet or favorite or share it. Well, that's democracy in action. Many have resorted to posting screenshots of the tweet to share it with followers. That's what it comes down to, Jack Dorsey. Oh, easy, Kevin. When scrolling through president's timeline, President Trump's users were also unable to see the tweet at all without clicking a warning from Twitter, acknowledging that it may be misleading. What the fuck? Twitter has also disabled its retweet feature for some time,

forcing users to quote, tweet the post if they wanted to share it on their timelines. They are crooked as the day is long, okay? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not this fucking time. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. That guy was excited.

That guy was very excited. We have we have a graphic right of what's going on. Of the electoral votes. And these are the last numbers from about a half hour ago that we got. There you go. Look at, that's a picture of Biden 28 years ago. Look at Trump, like he just stole somebody's lunch money.

So this was as of like a half hour ago. Trump's up by a CH, a red CH in Georgia, 50.5 to 48.3. Michigan, Biden, this is the slimmest, the closest one. That's why I don't understand why Trump was saying we won Michigan. Didn't he say that? Yeah, because he was up like eight points when he said that. When he said that.

Now, apparently, 49.5% for Biden, 48.9%. That's like 0.6 he's behind the president. Nevada, 49.2 for Biden, 48.6 for Trump. Again, razor thin. Pennsylvania, here's the one we're going to be sitting around forever unless they bring it to Judge Judy or something. Here's the one we're going to be sitting around forever unless they bring it to Judge Judy or something. Pennsylvania, 44.9.

And Trump up 54%. That's like 10 percentage points almost. Nine. Nine percentage points. So it's going to look weird if Pennsylvania goes, hey, we found a couple million votes here. It's going to stink to high heaven. It already does. Wisconsin, Joe Biden, 49.6. And again, President Trump, 48.9.

Razor thin. So there you go. We're catching you up on what's going on. Anyways, this episode of the Nick the pala podcast brought to you by our friends at can i pro gear um this stuff is great they've sent me some stuff i'll hold it up again i think you've seen it okay and since since the election's over i suggest you guys all get some of this can i pro gear stuff. It's lightweight, and they got the things that go in the vest. And it's seriously, and it's the stuff the military uses.

Canai even has a level three, level three plus, and level four body armor that is in stock. Shipping now practically zero lead time. All of the gears inspired military assault packs. They took military grade materials like 500D Cordura nylon. Codora is the brand name nylon, which is the strongest, lightest, and most durable. Like I said, the military uses it. Standard features you can expect from Canary Pro gear also include hydration capability, CCW storage, Duraflex buckles, and plenty of internal organizers for all the more standard

stuff you guys carry on a day-to-day basis. Lots of great products have come out of the military. You know, that aviator glasses, the Jeep Wrangler, Pete Buttigieg. And now you can get the Sarsena Expedition Pack. It's in use by the U.S.'s true you know it's trusted by the secret service it's good enough for you guys plus get a lifetime warranty on all the backpacks can I also has an incredible team that cares about getting you the right gear and here's what I love about this company they've sworn off automated responses I wish the hospitals would do that and have real human customer service you can actually talk to a person. Don't believe that?

Try it. DM them at Can I ProGear to talk to one of their specialists. It's so refreshing. Can I ProGear also offers Afterpay, which allows you to break up any order over 35 bucks into four easy payments with no credit check required. If you want this armor, you can buy it today with no lead times and get 15% off with code NickDip at CanIProGear.com. That's C-A-N-N-A-E ProGear.com. Use NickDip to get 15% off. After the bombs, this is only going to be you and Can I ProGear, the most durable gear known to man? It's great stuff. We showed you Trump, right? And the reason he did that last night, I think, because Biden popped out earlier.

Somebody woke him up, got him out of his attic, his bunk beds, took off his jammies, put him in some adult clothes, put him in a dolly and pushed him out in front of a bunch of cars. But he came out earlier in the evening. And watch how they have the presidential flags, but I'm trying to make him look president. These slimy little titmouses. This guy is a former vice president. That's what his title is right now. They tried to make it's all about aesthetics when they would go in front of the camera. Anyways, you know, he came out and his message basically was it.

It's not over till it's over. He's quoting a boy yogi. But here's Captain Dummy. Good evening. Oh, shut Captain Dummy. Good evening. Oh, shut it. It's no time. Patience is commendable. We knew this was going to go long.

But who knew we were going to go into maybe tomorrow morning, maybe even longer. Pause. Who knew you did, shithead? Aren't you from Pennsylvania, Scranton? You don't think they're putting... Who knew? How dare you? How dare you? How dare you?

Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore. Go ahead, let the dink talk. But look, we feel good about where we are. We really do. Wow, you set the bar real high there, didn't you? I'm here to tell you tonight, we believe we're on track

to win this election. You lying piece of cheese, you fucker. We knew because of the unprecedented early vote and the mail-in vote. Pause. Yeah, exactly. We knew this COVID thing would work perfectly. We couldn't beat him at the ballot box. So how do we fuck it up and have people do the mail-in thing?

Because it's had a history of being susceptible to fraud. That's what he's saying. It's going to take a while. We're going to have to be patient until the hard work of tallying the votes is finished. And it ain't over until every vote is counted. Every ballot is counted. Smile, Joe. There you go.

There's that smile. You're a crumb creep. What is that? You're a crumb creep. Me or Joe? You're a crumb creep. Ah, suck it. Who knew I was going to run into tomorrow?

You did. This is all for you, you inept bastard. run into tomorrow. You did. This is all for you, you inept bastard. Oh, makes me sick. So, yeah, who knows? What happens now if it does go to court? How long is that going to take? Jason, you were a lawyer, weren't you, in seventh grade? What happens? Anyway, Biden camp bashes Trump's announcement. Jennifer O'Malley, God, my eyes are watering. Jennifer O'Malley Dillon, you know, she kept her maiden name, so she's a bitch. The former vice president's campaign manager told Axios that Trump's comments about election irregularities in a number of swing states, including Pennsylvania, were outrageous and unprecedented. Yes, they were unprecedented because nobody's ever tried to steal an election overnight. overnight, you horse-toothed jackass. How dare you? How dare you? Fucking bitch. The president's statement tonight, she said, about trying to shut down the counting of duly

cast ballots was outrageous. I almost pooped my giant bloomers because I'm an ugly pig. Unprecedented and incorrect, she said in a statement and then finished her scotch. O'Malley Dillon added, if Trump wanted to pursue the matter before the Supreme Court, Biden's campaign was prepared to meet the challenge. If the president makes good on his threat to go to court to try to prevent the proper tabulation of votes, we have legal teams standing by ready to deploy to resist that effort, the former vice president campaign manager said. And I wonder why she's the former campaign manager.

But it's going to now the lawyers are getting involved. My aching stem. When are we going to know? Counselor? Yeah. Counselor. Could you be there? could you be there Trump proceeded to pledge his administration would take any action necessary in the coming

days to ensure the integrity of the election it is unclear if Trump will follow through on his threat it's not a threat by the way you guys better hope it's a it's a promise and he hasn't broken a promise in four years that's why he's in the lead and you're where you are uh anyways uh it's unclear if he's gonna fall through on his threat to bring the matter before the nation's highest court biden's team however has been planning since the midsummer for such a situation you know why because they were going look if we if we're cheating and shit we better get some lawyers ready you know i mean because we're not good at this look what happened to the fucking uh the the mulligate shit and look what happened to the impeachments we're not good at it so in case they're smarter than we think we better get our

lawyers ready the former vice president told supporters in july his campaign had assembled more than 600 lawyers by the way most lawyers vote Democrat and volunteers to fight any attempts at election chicanery. And I ask you a question. What has Trump done that you could consider chicanery in this election? Was he the one changing laws in Pennsylvania? Was he the one saying, stay away from the voting booth? You'll get covid. So mail it in in who was doing all the irregular things this year you dirty especially the vote by mail process since then biden campaign has continued mobilizing for the effort early this week politico reported that a former vice president's team has begun fundraising to ensure it was ready to combat prolonged expensive legal fights that

might determine the outcome of the contest. So they're ready to duke it out, I guess. You want to go to war? Come on. You want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony Cunho. Tony Cunho. Yeah. They knew it was coming.

They knew. What do they think, the GOP doesn't have any lawyers? Take it to the Supreme Court because I believe we have an edge there. Miss Coney Barrett might have showed up at the right time. I wouldn't trust any of them either, though. Look at Roberts. She'll probably, just so she looks neutral, she'll go against Trump. I don't know what to tell you, folks.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Republicans plan to ask a judge Wednesday, which is today, to block the counting of some mail-in ballots in a key Philadelphia suburb. By the way, the Philly suburbs are all the dumb housewives who were sucking Obama's ass. And we got to stop these chick housewives as opposed to what? Guy housewives? Well, I don't know anymore. Dick, pussy, everybody's got something. But it's the chicks in the suburbs, the women. You'd think after some footage you're seeing Antifa marching down some residential areas, they might want a law and order guy. But no, they're so brainwashed that Trump is just he's so mean and loud.

I can't. I can't. I'm trying to make blueberry muffins and this bitch is yelling. Anyways, a key Philadelphia suburb as the presidential election hinged on late results in the state and a few other battlegrounds. The race for president has yet to be called in Pennsylvania and the state's top election official, Secretary of the Commonwealth, Kathy Bachvar, seen here. I'm just saying I know she's a Democrat. I wasn't laughing at her six dollar jacket. Jesus Christ. and laughing at her $6 jacket. Jesus Christ. Kathy Bachbar said she expected most of the state's votes would be counted by Friday.

As of Wednesday morning, President Trump was leading with 55.7 of the votes compared to 43.1. That is a beating, is it not? Isn't that the widest margin of all the states? What a coincidence.

They're going to pull some chicanery. 75% of the precinct is in. So I think Trump's in a good position there. You know, the race was expected to tighten as more mail-in ballots were counted. So the plan was going just where the Democrats want. Democrat voters requested mail-in ballots at counted. So the plan was going just the way the Democrats want. Democrat voters requested mail-in ballots at a much higher rate than the Republican voters. Of course they did in state elections.

Well, naturally, that was the plan. That's why they came up with the whole COVID horseshit. Am I right? You are correct, sir. What the hell else? Leave that up there she's delicious what does she look like who's the guy I'm thinking of that's mean

Mr. President come on Jason who does she look like she's a little Sean Pennish yes a little Pennish That's mean, Mr. President. Come on, Jason. Who does she look like? Just a little Sean Pennish. Yes, a little. Yeah, a little Sean Pennish. A little bit rightful, man. A little bit pro wrestler.

The lawsuit filed by Republicans in federal court Tuesday contends that Montgomery County elections officials were illegally sorting through and identifying problems with about 1,200 ballots received before Election Day. A hearing was set this morning in Philly. A spokesman for the suburban Philadelphia county said officials believe their process is sound and is permissible under the election code that we made up three minutes ago. Of the voters, the county reached out to 49 people, fixed their ballots, the spokesman said Wednesday. The county set aside those ballots until the judge rules on the matter. Why did they have to fix them?

What was, what the hell was, what was wrong with them? I don't know. Let's move on, shall we? I have a doctor's appointment. Here you go. Paint this picture. A cavernous hall in Philadelphia Convention Center. Rotating shifts.

Election workers in neon yellow vests. That's good. So what are the cons? They should be picking up trash in those vests. Anyways, neon yellow vests. That's good. So what are the cons? They should be picking up trash in those vests. Anyways, neon yellow vests, processed mail-in ballots, aided by machines that extracted the ballots. Remember the story I told you about the machines? Remember? General Lieutenant McInerney, former intelligence agent, Operation Scorecard, that fucks with the algorithms once they ship the computers with their results

and it keeps the Dems 3% ahead. Don't forget about that story. Anyways, aided by machines that extracted ballots from envelopes. As of 8 p.m. Wednesday, city election officials reported the results of more than 140,000 mail-in ballots out of a total of about 350,000 that have been received by 9 p.m. Tuesday. Lisa Daly, Philadelphia's chief election official, said the total number of mail-in ballots received could approach about 400,000. Really? Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. 400,000. This is going to be definitely going to be solved in court. Maybe the Supreme Court, like Trump said. Here ye, here ye, the court's in session, the court's in session now. Here come the judge. Here come the judge. Hey, man. Hey, man. who can take the sunshine and dip it in some poo?

Hey, everybody. I can't thank you guys enough. So many of you have been buying the Nick DiPaolo show merchandise, and these Nica shirts have been selling like crazy. We now have all the designs, get this, in both white and gray. There you go. I like gray, Percy. Makes you look like a jock. You know what I'm saying?

But if you're an 18-year-old kid with a washboard stomach, the white, the broad's like the white. You roll up the cigarettes and the joints and they go crazy. At least they did in the early 50s. Anyways, what else you got there? You can buy all these as well as the Nick DiPaolo Show logo gear on my website, nickdip.com, as you know. I want to thank you guys. You really are the best. This stuff is flying off the shelves. Nick got rich.

That's what somebody's going to be if these things keep flying off the shelves. You know who makes them? That's right. Little tiny Asian boys about six years old. We get them right after they're finished with the iPhones. So we're expecting a lot of unrest, are we not? Matter of fact, there was some last night, New York, Seattle, and other cities, D.C., they're planning. So the shenanigans are going to pick up and we know who's going to be in the streets. Well, it's already started. Here's the headline.

Right wing activists stabbed the leader and get the wording here, folks. Let me point out another liberal thing. They do. The leader of the far right. Proud boys get that far right. Proud boys has said he was one of four people stabbed after being jumped by. It doesn't say the far left. Black matters.

Life matters. It just says Black Lives Matter mob early Wednesday. people stabbed after being jumped by it doesn't say the far left black matter life matter it just says black lives matter mob early wednesday it doesn't say the marxist black live map right but we're far right that's what they do and they do it year after year and it conditions you to go yeah those proud boys are into some bad so there was a stabbing in dc enrique tadio told the gateway pundit that he was slashed in the stomach while multiple other members were injured including a man stabbed in the neck and a woman with them stabbed in the back okay we all know who's doing this shit do we not i think we do. For Christ's sake, where's all my... I don't know. That's the guy, right?

He's one of the leader of the Proud Boys. Yes, I've actually seen him interviewed. Very articulate, by the way. Far right. He's holding his boyfriend's hand. How dangerous can they be? I mean, come on. Let's cut the poopoo.

What the hell's going on out here? The group said they were heading home after watching an election at a D.C. bar when they were jumped and knifed by Biden supporters. That's right, I'll say it. You're going to call them far right?

Biden supporters, Black Lives Matter, Marxist group. Don't forget Joe Biden's in bed with the communist Chinese. So anyways, live stream video caught part of the scuffle with one man walking back to the videographer and saying i'm bleeding uh black lives matter get this so i just showed you that right you're thinking everybody must hate these people right it's a marxist group we know their mission statement

just go on their website uh but just for just having n Nike work with them makes me hate them even more. Black Lives Matter activists, apparently not everybody hates them. A Black Lives Matter activist in Missouri, get this, breezed to an election night victory to become the state's first black congresswoman. All right, Missouri. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all,

and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. Sorry. Cori Bush. Isn't that nice? She reads at a seventh grade level. I'll yank it right here. Cori Bush, who may become the fifth member of the squad. Yeah, she would fit in with those other four cunts. Tlaib and the other hateful AOC, Omar, Ilhan Omar.

She gained a whopping 84 percent of the vote and she then blew George Soros for helping her out, I'm guessing, in the state's first congressional district. Can you imagine? We go from people like Ben Franklin. I know this is on the, not on, it's on a municipal level, but I'm just saying, this is what's going to be making decisions, huh? Yeah. She doesn't have any beefs with white people. Former BLM. She hates the cops. Good for you, Missouri. I don't know what the fuck you were thinking. She said this. This is definitely a night to remember Bush. I know it is, isn't it, Ms. Bush? Because how did you get elected? You belong to a group that hates white people, yet you're elected in a country that you think is run by white supremacists. Isn't it funny?

elected in a country that you think is run by white supremacists. Isn't it funny? Now undo the fucking rat's nest. Give me a headache just looking at it. Bush, who's also a nurse, told her supporters during her acceptance speech that, you know, she can't believe the biggest night of all time. And I disagree with her. You fat, nasty black bitch. Hey, watch it. No need to bring that into it. She has a weight problem. So do I. She says, this has been a historic day from the beginning to the end. Bush had the backing of the Justice Democrats. That's a group who helped propel, get this, Rep AOC to her first upset victory. So they should be blown the fuck up.

I'm kidding. Over a 10-term incumbent. aoc beat joe crowley thank you joe for bringing her on the scene mama luke bush got involved with the black lives matter movement in 2014 when michael brown an unarmed black teenager remember he fucking went into a store and bullied an indian guy beat him and then try to reach into a cop car and grab a cop's gun and the cop did what you should though blow him the fuck away but here it says he was an unknown black teenager shot and killed because that's how he's still reported keep the fucking lie alive that's when she became a blm member, don't you move you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.

So you know her heart's in the right place. She got into the Michael Brown thing when all the witnesses lied. Remember? There was actually other black people who came forward and said the witnesses are full of shit. He didn't put his hands up. You remember. She joined the protests that erupted

in the wake of the shooting and soon began leading the protests in Missouri. So she deserves, she deserves a seat somewhere, doesn't she? That makes me sick. What a day. What a day, folks. What a day. I think that's it. Is it not? That is it for the day, ladies and gentlemen. I'm glad I could again, I think you guys are at work most days, I assume. We could catch you up on this stuff. Anything else? Don't forget about, don't forget about November 21st. I'll be in Vegas the 20th and the 21st. We're going to live stream me doing stand-up comedy from Vegas.

And I'll be in St. Louis this weekend. Excuse me, Kansas City, the comedy club of Kansas City. But don't forget, November 2021, on Saturday night, November 21st, live stream. You'll be able to purchase it online. I can't frigging wait. I've played this room before. It's Tommy. Actually, Tommy, my manager, runs it.

It's one of those old showrooms. It's gorgeous. It looks like Sinatra sang there last night. So you people in places that I don't go to are going to get to see this. And I couldn't be more excited about it. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it.

You are very welcome. We will see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo We'll see you next time.