The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Trashes Omar & Somalia | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1825

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about ​​Tennessee Still Red, TSA Real ID Fines Coming, Texas Tech Restricts Woke Nonsense, Home Defense in Florida, Weed Over Whiskey, A Drunk Raccoon and Trumps Take on Somalia! Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/NICKDIP Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH SALE! From now until December 10 th get 20% off Everything in our store. So grab some mugs, winter hats, hoodies, long sleeve shirts, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ HOLIDAY VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal holiday greeting from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo and order one in time for Christmas. SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy - https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Hi. Welcome to the live lineup on, what do we call it, Rumble? I almost said Rush. Talk about an overrated band, by the way. P-fucking you. I'm listening to the countdown in the car when I was driving my life way. And they play the top 100, whatever to fuck. They come in at like 12 a month.

What are you? P-fucking you. Welcome to the live lineup, boys, the girls, where you get my show, louder with Crowder, all these other great shows. And guess what? For free. If you want to watch it all ad-free, do you do well you sign up for rumble premium and don't forget to download the rumble app today i will

be uh discussing many things uh tennessee apparently still read after a big uh special election as they call it uh the tsa um and the uh airlines forget out another way to get some money out of you uh i don't have a problem that actually you people who forget shit are fucking idiots uh texas tech we have to give them a round of applause not just because they get a great football team this year, but they're making some moves that are kicking that woke ideology off their campus. And a new study says that Gen Ziers, they like their weed over their whiskey, apparently.

And one other story, Trump just trashes like Elon O'Mai in her shitty home country and trashes it like no president would. I mean, I listen to him. hard. I get hot. Fucking Bruins last night in Detroit, lose up and down. But there's six teams that

are separated from first place by like fucking six points total. And they're one of them. I know you don't care about that. Neither do I. This thing is throbbing like my penis did on prom night. It is pounding. Fucking

laying in bed last night, listening to my heartbeat behind my eye. I've never been so excited to go to a dentist in my life. And I'm sitting in that chair. I was going to ask him about the options. He went over a couple weeks ago because I forget them, except for one. Get this out of my head.

I don't give a shit after you. I might get grill work. Fucking Lil Wayne on one of them dudes. Why? Can I be honest? That shit? I don't know. There's NFL players who have it.

You should get a nick dip on your front teeth. No, I'm just going fucking full out. full out sterling silver. I can't tell some NFL players, they smile, and I'm like, is that their mouthpiece? Or they have grill work? And then I see them on the sideline, and they're talking, so their mouthpiece ain't.

Some of them have grill work, which is hilarious. And it doesn't even look bad on them. I'm sorry. It matches the bling around their neck. I fucking laugh. I would love to watch NFL players getting dressed in the locker room. And baseball. the Hispanics have 17 pounds of gold.

We get it. You're rich. You're just asking to be fucking robbed. You're a Pittsburgh pirate. You're playing, I don't know, you're in Colorado. And you're on TV advertising that you've got a ton of jewelry and people are going to look up your house as they do. Come home and you're going to be missing that giant ring with a stripper on it. Whatever to fuck.

What? I don't know. All right. What else? Yeah, that's tomorrow. They're getting yanked at 10 a.m. I want to put them in a jar. Like that thorn on my head, I told you that thorn story.

Remember, it worked its way into my head. And it healed over, and every time it called my hair in high school, it stopped bleeding. I go, what the fuck? I go to the doctors, if you guys missed the story. I shot a bird with my be be be gun. I ran in the woods to pick it up and God punish me. Something stuck in the head. I didn't know what it was.

And fuck it anyways. It had to be three weeks later. maybe more. I go to the fucking hospital and the doctor's digging and I hear him start snickering. But he was digging for like a half hour. Fucking pulls out with a tweezers.

A thorn. It was at least an inch. At least a fuck at it. And he put it in a plastic thing for me. I had it in my bedroom. My mother threw it out. Along my letter jacket. She still says she didn't.

Where to go then? A fucking homeless guy walking around with captain on his shoulder. All right. I got nothing. I got nothing, folks. Tennessee's still read. That's the headline for the first one.

Republican Matt Van Epps. There he is. How you know, Matt? Narrowly defeated Democrat. I don't know if he narrowly because I saw Sean Hannity. He said it was supposed to be close. He beat her by 10 points. But then I read the papers in the New York Post said it was a couple points.

So not that I'm mad. Well, it does kind. Anyways, all the pre-talk was that she, the, woman running against him was going to beat him right before that's what all the polls are said. Anyways, he narrowly defeated Afton Ben. That's her right there, kind of dyke. What's funny is, it's Tennessee, right? They're running for a Tennessee seat.

She's actually stated she hates Christianity and fucking country music. Trump goes, how are you going to elect somebody like that? It just goes to show you. I don't believe in any of it. I just... Remind me to talk about that fucking mayor from St. Paul, the black guy. I'll just say it right now. Big headline today, mayor of St. Paul, young black guy looks hateful.

And his headline is, Trump should leave the Somalian community alone. He should look at, I don't know if he said white European fraud or European fraud in this country, meaning white people. Can you imagine? That should have been a reverse the races. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. That sent me through the fucking roof. And I told you guys, I'm trying not to do that much politics, but something's hit me right in the gut. Just a racist piece of shit who sees life through a racial lens.

And he's not capable of being objective. And that's why, and you want me to believe he got elected. And I was me and Colin Corcoran, I go on the phone. He goes, yeah, but there's those city boards, which he had a good point. You know, those city. But still, I don't care. I don't care if it's a blackist. which they don't outnumber white people.

I really don't believe these elections are real. I really, if you look at all these unqualified, like I said, whether it's black attorney generals, the Jasmine Crockets of the world, they're everywhere now. And I just don't believe the country's still 68% white. I don't believe these people win elections. I really think it's all bullshit.

Like I said, if they can steal one from Trump at the federal level, They can't do it at the fucking St. Paul level? Anyways, that was my little op-ed for a guy who does want to get political. This is horrible. It's like meet the fucking press. Anyways, yeah, that's the girl that could beat. Tuesday's hotly contested a special election for Tennessee's 7th District House. So that was good news for the Republicans.

Hey, everybody. Donald Trump. Ben had raised Democrats hoped for an upset in the conservative stronghold after late polling show the state, if it's a conservative stronghold, how's it even close? This is what I'm talking about. There's not that many black people show the state lawmaker within striking

distance of Van Apps, a former army helicopter pilot backed by President Trump. This really worries me. And I said to my wife, I go, they're talking about the midterms. The Republicans better wake up. How the fuck can you watch four years of Joe Biden and jerk off

Obama before him? But especially, oh, Biden, how could you watch the last four years and what he did to this country, have Trump come in and fix it all in about six months and go, I'm still voting Democrat? I just don't believe it. Van Epps led, if that's what happens, this country deserves to go right in the shitter. It's almost there. Trump's the only thing that stands between us and disaster. Van Epps led by about six percentage points with 85 percent ballots counted Tuesday night,

when the AP called the race for the Republican at 937. P.M. Congratulations to Matt Van Epps on his big congressional win in the great state of Tennessee. Trump posted on truth social. The radical left Democrats threw everything at him, including millions of dollars. The race for the vacant house seat previously held by former rep Mark Green, who retired earlier this year, became even more critical for Republicans to hold on in the wake of rep MTG, Marjorie Taylor Green, who's fucking flipped a

wig or something. Decision to leave Congress come January. That is the fucking weirdest. And it just backs my theories that it's all bullshit. Or maybe somebody's holding her family, you know,

threatened of hostage. You know what I mean? Well, yes, but every fucking politician hears that. I mean, every, who is complaining? It's in Godfell's monologue

tonight, actually. Sort of what it's. about who the fuck was saying, but I'm getting death threats. Oh God, I get him a couple good ones. With Green's upcoming retirement and special elections to fill the two vacant house seats, previously held by Demerocrats, Johnson faced the possibility of passing legislation with a zero-vote margin by next spring. That's Mike Johnson, the House Speaker, if Van Epps had lost. Republicans are struggling to hold the House seat in Tennessee that Trump just won by 22 points. Who said that?

Well, it had to be some dumb Democrat. Well, it is, the most retired one ever. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries argued on Monday. What a sad team you guys got. This guy is a legit, fucking certified moron. Like I said, I followed him and I lived in New York City. America is clearly disgusted. This is a quote from shithead.

America is clearly disgusted with these GOP extremists. So when you kill people like drug dealers, trying to bring drugs over here and wipe out young kids in America, or you deport, throw rapists out of the country that shouldn't be here. You're an extremist. And you believe in low taxes and borders. You're an extremist. So what do you stand for?

Should have a bone in your nose and chasing his... Nah, fuck it. I didn't say that. And prepared to throw them all out of office. That's what he thinks. The voters are ready to throw the geopolit out of office. Dink. Ben was branded by Trump as the end.

AOC of Tennessee. The Democrats are spending a fortune, and we don't want people that want to raise your taxes, Trump said. But Ben said two things, and this is Trump still talking, above all that bothered me. Number one, she hates Christianity. Number two, she hates country music. He says, how the hell can you elect the person like that? It's a good question.

Let me guess. Grits are fattening? You. Van Epps, who's a West Point graduate. touted his not, why would you vote for a broad who's ever done anything in her life because she's a politician and we know that? How could you vote? Even if you're far left, over a helicopter, did nine tours. West Point graduate, touted his nine military combat tours and pledged to work with Trump to bring down the cost of living, lower health care costs,

create more good paying jobs. I'm going to go with the chick. Well, because she's, you know, women are oppressed and we don't get a chance to, Mm-hmm, hmm, first of all, that couldn't be further from the truth. Truth, I just said, oh, my God, somebody throw me a basketball. I said, truth. Next, I'll be saying, important. And by the way, even our girl, Caroline Levitt, spokesperson for Trump, she says shit like that. incompetent

what is it written I heard a white YouTube dude doing the same thing a sports guy of all that and he was saying doing the same thing with the double T's you just pronounce

with the back of your throat no the D's button button yeah yeah I don't understand the fried voice thing I know people talked about a million times

it's worse than ever it is that fried voice that my wife says was started by Paris Hilton which sounds right. Remember she used to Paris Hill and used to talk like that. There's grown women doing it now.

I mean like news anchor women's shit, we don't know who we are. And the black thing right now is pronouncing the T's like D's, which they probably already have, but it's caught on with everybody. And they do it. I still hear my old buddy,

my late great buddy, the cop, Greg Zuck. he used to have the greatest explanations. He's in a car with me in New York City and this black guy, the light turns green. This kid's taken his fucking time. And I go, why do they do that in fucking Zuck? Just reflex reaction. That's his, every ounce of fiber of his being

fighting against the man. That's how I explain how they talk. Little is now little. It's actually, I saw a show, the title had the word little in it. it was spelled L-I-D-D-L-E. I said to my wife, ah, you say I'm crazy with this shit.

And any athlete, any black athlete, oh my God. I don't know how the shit gets momentum. Anyways, ladies and general, let's welcome a sponsor. When you're in bed and you want, you, Scott, cut, I get nervous. It's about the bedroom.

When you're in bed, you want to know, you're going to perform. You know what I mean? You want to be liberachi. Skip the stress and get HIMS. HIMS gives you access to straightforward ED support design entirely around you. Get personalized prescription treatment options for ED.

Hems offers trusted generics that cost, listen to this, 95% less than brand names. HIMS also has in-house products. Try Hard Mints and Sex RX plus Climax Control. With 100% online access to treatment plans, HEMS brings expert care right to you. To get a simple online access to personalize affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash Nick Dip. That's Hems.com slash Nick Dip for your free online visit. Hems.com slash Nick Dip. Actual price will vary on product and subscription plan.

Feature products include compounded drug. products for CFDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information, and we thank hymns for supporting the show today. Sweet Child O Mine, is this another merch read? Am I'm doing right now? Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. The holidays are coming and everything in our merch store. Get this, folks, 20% off from now until December 10th. So head to Nick dip.com or click the link below and grab a winter hat, hoodie, long sleeve shirt, triple D bra, mugs, dreidels for the Jewish fans, Nick Diplalo Dreadles. That's right.

You heard it. In kosher pork lines. What? I have no idea. I keep touching. I told you. I did it last night too. I'm watching TV. I kept poking at my Yeah, with my finger. It's a weird pain. I keep hearing John Mellencamp's song, It's so good. I know what to think, because I've heard people say that.

It's like touching a sword, too. Let's move on to, that's fine with me. This will affect you people who travel, and it's most of us. But the Transportation Security Administration, that's a TSA. You know, you know who they are. All right? When you're supposed to be watching

if anybody's sneaking bombs and shit but they were always flirting with each other not paying attention. You know, guys like snapping a girl's brastring, black guy. While searching 85-year-old grandma in a wheelchair. Exactly. Let's get that 85-year-old white woman.

Yeah, but she has no feeling from the waist down. Stand her up! She got a gun in her fucking Kloss me beg. The TSA will begin charging passengers $45 if they show up at airport checkpoints without an acceptable form of identification, such as a passport or real ID. You know, Real ID, this is a year ago they implemented this. You've got to have a little thing on your license, which we already had. Some states didn't

though. Anyway, such as passport or real ID. You don't believe me, maybe this guy can convince you. I'm not making this shit up. As travelers at Philadelphia International Airport return home from Thanksgiving, Today, TSA will implement a $45 charge to get through security for those who still don't have their real ID or a valid passport or another acceptable form of identification come February 1st. Give me the money. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? I got to come here by my body. Give me the fucking money. Sounds like me playing Monopoly. I told you, I wasn't making shit up. The policy will be implemented starting February 4th. first of 2026 following a proposed rule published in the Federal Register that noted a previous

amount of 18 bucks. Oh, a bit of a jump. Over 100%. After careful review, it was determined that the expenses, here comes the excuse by the government, for the new technology and operational costs were higher than originally projected. No kidding. Leading to an increase in the final fee. We fucked up math-wise. The travelers who do not have an acceptable form of identification will be made to strip down and run through all terminals where they're whang. And nobody will notice if you're in New York.

People do that anyway. Exactly right. Acceptable form of identification will be able to go online to the TSA website to complete identification steps and pay the $45 fee. In other words, like when you're right there and they turn it. you away. You can go on your phone and go to their website. And we all know how government websites work so good. What are the odds you're going to make your flight there? Are you sucking my ass cheese? Come on. Fuck out. No, for nothing, Peter. It's fucking bullshit. The passenger

then receives an email confirmation to pursue. I don't, boy. Look, you can avoid all this. Just get your shit straight before you go to there. And you fucking, who are you people that She was the older, older people. They walk up to the fucking TSA guy, and they don't even have their idea out yet. I always get behind the rookies. It's like, have you ever flown before? What the fuck are you doing?

Guys got like a 10-man suit on. I think she's going to walk through the, I like when they always ask. Do you have any metal implants? I go, yeah, I get two on my head and one of my ass. Why don't you get up there and look? And they go, stand over there, please. The passenger then receives an email confirmation

to present to the TSA officer prior to the checkpoint. Oh, I'm sure it's that easy. The process is predicted. Listen to this. To take between 10 or 15 minutes, I don't understand. So do you stand to the side and you get to cut back the line? Or do you have to but could take 30 minutes

or longer? Why don't you just say that? Just be honest. And when they say 30 minutes or longer, they mean an hour and 30 minutes. We've all seen rollouts by government websites, including Obamacare. Remember that? Fucking thing crashed. like Anne Hache on a bender driving around your neighborhood.

I don't know why I keep coming back to the crash reference with Anne Hache, but do you remember she sat up when they thought she was dead? They're taking her out on the gurney. They had her covenant. She sat up like a bad movie. The confirmation will be valid for 10 days from the day of travel. Senior TSA officials told the news the fee is non-refundable. and is not guaranteed.

If a passenger is in the checkpoint line without an ID, that person will be removed from the queue. Excuse me, you can't say line twice in an article. All of a sudden, I'm in London now. Let me guess, do I have to go through the, do I have to take a lift to the second floor of the airport and then go through the tube? Cut the shit.

Thank you. Speak English. to fill out the online Veracasia Brach. I like the only reason, the only person that can use the word cue is, you know, Eric Clapton in that song. I think it's

white, the white room. You know, waiting at the station, blah blah blah blah. Anyway, senior officials say they are working with the airlines to help promote the effort in the booking process. That's what we need. People in the 80s

helping with the tech. The enforcement comes as Apple Wallet, now stores digital passports for screening. It always comes back to fucking, always comes back to fucking Apple or Zuckerberg or Amazon Bezos. Boy, that guy, that one kills me. Wasn't really that genius an idea, but apparently nobody had thought of it.

I'm going to get everything that's sold and put it in a warehouse. Can you, I want to see a clock running with the money he makes a second. Oh my God. And apparently Elon Musk made, did I read this a couple days ago? Was it $40 billion with a B because of crypto? I'm excited about getting 80% of the door at clam snappers. The enforcement comes as Apple Wallet now stores digital passports for

screening at 250 plus U.S. airports during domestic travel. Me and the wife did that Claire thing. We lived in New York. We drove all the way to fucking Kennedy. You know the clear thing? It's called Claire. You look into the thing and tells you who you are and you can just go. And it's always there.

I don't know that I've ever used it. I always have pre-checked, which I'm starting to think about using Claire because everybody gets pre-checked now. You look at the normal lines. They're breaking the sound barrier. They're moving so fast. We're over there turning 107. What the fuck?

As I spit on myself. Ow. Three cheers for Texas Tech. Texas Tech University System Chancellor Brandon Creighton enacted new restrictions. This guy's a hero right now to me. On topics of race, it's funny, when you hear restrictions

in race, gender, sexual orientation, you think oh, you can't say stuff that I'm going to offend gay people and trans. That's not what it is. It's the reverse here. New restrictions on top of race, topics of race, sex, gender, identity,

and sexual orientation in classrooms. And instructors who failed to comply could face discipline. I fucking love it. Creighton, by the way, that's the name of a school. How do I know? I return punts there in the early 40s.

Leather helmet. Black coffee sucks dick, too. Creighton said instructors may not promote the idea that one race or sex is inherently superior to another. And you're going, well, that's politically correct because you're talking about white people being... No, no, no, no, that's not what he's talking about. An individual by virtue or race or sex is inherently racist. They're saying you can't promote that anymore. In other words, you know how they used to say white people?

you're inherently racist. You don't even know it. You can't do that. Sexist or oppressive. In other words, defending what white people have been being accused of for the last thousand years.

Consciously or unconsciously, any person should be discriminated against or receive adverse treatment. Can imagine they have to put in consciously or unconsciously? Can you imagine that? Can you fucking imagine that? They were accusing you to be a racist. And they're like, you don't know what we do.

How did you let it get to that point, people on the right? Can I ask you? It's almost like you were. complicit or receive adverse treatment because of race or sex moral character or worth is

determined by race or sex they're saying you can't do that they can't say well because he's a Native American Nandy his life is more valuable than you you're just a white fucking interloper and colonizer hey suck it and then spit it on the curtains

what don't do that with a tooth holy shit that vibrated right up to my fucking for how you know who knows about this by the way girl sherry also known as buddy who works for us she has a permanent thing and it's a condition and she says they call it the nickname of it's suicide condition

it's permanent she has pain like in her that she has to take medication for holy moly uh okay character worth determined by racism. Individuals bear responsibility or you guys probably I'm reading this horribly.

I'm just reading how they wrote it. Individually bear responsibility, guilt for actions of others of the same race or sex. In other words, if you're white, you can't be blamed for what fucking white people who you had no relation to did. Or meritocracy or strong work ethic are racist. You can't say that anymore.

That's so refreshing. Sexist or constructs of oppression, according to a memo on Monday, to the university presidents. How about it? How about that? What did I do? Promotion was defined in the memo as presenting these beliefs as correct or required in pressuring students to affirm them. Like there's a story right now going on, a girl university, Oklahoma. some test and she included in her answer some her Christian beliefs

and her gay or trans teacher gave her a zero a fucking zero for it because of that. Just let that sink in and that's why shit like this is necessary as correct or required and pressuring students to affirm them rather than analyzing or critiquing them as one viewpoint among others. The memo includes a, this is specifically for fucking left wing, which that's all there is, professors on college campus. The memo includes a flowchart, outlining a new approval process for any course content that includes the restricted topics.

This is what they have to go through. Faculty must submit the content to the department chair, chairs, university administrators, and the Board of Regents for their review and approval. instructors are told to, but here's my problem, okay, you do that, right? But all those, the regents and all that shit, they're already libs, right? You have to get them out of there first before this is going to work. Instructors are told to first determine whether the material is relevant and necessary. Then they will be asked if the material is required for professional licensure or certification

or patient or client care in which the case the material may remain in the course, but the Board of Regents will be notified. If the material is not required for those purposes, instructors must seek approval. See, they try to make it such an onus process

that you're like, fuck this. I'm not going to to keep it by submitting it to their department chair, dean and provost, who will forward their recommendation and justification to the Board of Regents. How's that for some, how does that feel lefties?

Huh? How does that feel for some fucking, what do you call it, bureaucracy, levels of dog shit that just make you throw up your hands and go, okay. The memo, we're just giving them a taste of their own medicine, but like I said, I don't know how it's going to work when

Libs have already infiltrated these institutions. The memo states that the integrity of this process depends, here's what I was talking about, on the earnest participation of every faculty member. That's their addressing what I just said. They have to be honest about it,

adding that noncompliance may result in disciplinary action consistent with university policies and state law. It should be, if you don't comply to these new rules, we're going to do what they do. We're going to bring you down to the Tampa Zoo like they did in Goodfellas and throw you in the fucking Lions game. Kelly, our Cargill Cook, seen here, former Gambino,

Capo. Look at this. She's like Jimmy the Greek. If she doesn't have a dick, Kelly Cargill Cook, a professor emeritus, who found Texas Tech's Department of Professional Communication. What does that even mean? Said the memo led her, listen, to remove a class she planned to teach you spring. I think it was called Why White Men Suck. Instead, deciding to write a resignation letter. Just the slightest pushback against your garbage and you quit. That's why in the long run, I think we could win. I've been teaching, she said, since 1981, right after I got my vasectomy. And this was going to be my last class. I was so looking forward to working with the seniors in our major, but I can't stomach what's

going on at Texas Tech, she said. You see how they are? She can't, real tolerant of another point of view. I think the memo is cunning in that the beliefs that at least are at face value something you could agree with, like the Dems always do. They name shit like America for prosperity. Shit like that. Then you look into it. It's a left-wing garbage. But when you think about how this would be put into practice where a board of regents approves a curriculum, people who are politically appointed, not educated, the arrogance. Yeah. not researchers, that move is a slippery slope.

I hope you slip on it and break your neck. You paralyzed from your dick down. You heard me. Mama, woo, woo, woo, woo, I don't want to die. Okay. I'm trying to learn the fucking, you guitar players out there,

do you ever try to learn the intro to Lizzie Top Lagrange where he's just using his fingers? And it's a little fucking blue shuffle, but your pinky is skipping strings to keep... You must have to grow up with a guitar to be that... You know what I mean? It's second major.

They're on stage with a fucking quart of whiskey in them and just... Yeah, but it's fine. When you hit, when you do it right, you're like, holy fuck, this is cool. Then I get the button you step on, you kick on the fucking, you know what, the distortion? When the heavy...

It's fun. I'm 11 years old. Let's move on. Full house star, full of cancer. Did you like that one? Full House Star, full of cancer. And I know how he got it, by the way. I know, I bet you who gave it to him.

I'll give you that theory. Sit tight. Sorry, folks. On the heels of comedian Dave Cuyers, he actually looks better with, I mean, he's got a nice thin face, high cheekbones. I know, I'm not saying you should die. Anyways, it's funny coming out.

of me, Ozonepic man. On the hails of comedian Dave Kuhiyer's announcement of his tongue cancer diagnosis, uh-oh, if they, here's what I know, they did a thing on Bob Sagget and he had anal wards, so I'm trying to connect the two. How close were they? Oh, tongue cancer diagnosis experts are sharing what to know about the disease. Kouye 66 announced in a Tuesday interview that he has been diagnosed with early stage P-16. Oh, Jesus, not P-14, 16. Carcinoma or aferengial tongue cancer.

Oropharyngeal refers to cancer that begins at the base of the tongue. The P-16 indicates that it is associated with HPV, human peplona virus. I always think of running with the balls when I hear this. Papillomavirus. Oh my God. Hound dog is going to eat that pussy. I'm Casey Kaysam.

Next up, a long-distance dedication. I went in for a pet scan. They found two cats in my ass. Good night, everybody. Come on, Dallas. Fucking laugh it up. Dallas is sick. He's in some type of AIDS.

I went for a pet scan, just a routine checkup, and something fled on the PTE scan, Collier said. It turned out it was an old rerun of full house. I deserve this cancer, he said. I don't know how people like that show or. To me, it was the worst piece of garbage ever. Yet I see generations way younger than me

still reminiscing about Uncle Old. I'm glad you don't. I'd kick you out of it if you did. John Stam. Uncle Jesse. It turned out that I have P-16 squamous carcinoma at the base of my tongue. Cooley, he goes, that's how I got the part. What?

Cooley-Ey shared that he will undergo a course of 35 radiation treatments. Jesus. In 2025, it is expected that there will be about 20,040 new cases of tongue cancer in approximately 3,270 deaths, the NCI states. These numbers only include cancers that begin in the front two-thirds of the tongue. This is in the base when including all oral cavity and orphanageal cancers, which totals all mouth and throat cancers, the numbers jump to 59,660 new cases and about 12,770 deaths in 2025 per the American Cancer Society. I'll say it again, they're never going to cure cancer because there's too much money in it. You can't fucking, they know so much about, you can't tell me you couldn't shut this off tomorrow.

I don't believe, I'm just sorry. Same as Jerry Kids. They could have whipped that shit out. But come on, the entertainment was great. We needed it. It's Labor Day. The overall five-year survival rate for tongue cancer is 71%. Studies have shown that cases have been on the rise in the U.S.

The right, listen to this. Here's where it gets. I have one of my best bits is about. Michael Douglas, and now there's another guy in Philly who got pro cancer, and he said it's from going down on his wife. It's one of the best bits I've ever written. I suggest you Google it. I don't even know if it's out there somewhere. The rise is linked to the dramatic rise of HPV. Fox News, senior medical analyst, Dr. Mark Siegel. It can metastasize, but the prognosis is 80% to 90% curable if it's HPV related. Some of the earliest warning sides of tongue cancer include a persistent

or ulcer on the tongue, pain when swallowing, that should be the woman, a lump or change in speech. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know that? Pubic here found in your molars, no. Other common signs include a lump or thickening on the tongue, red or white patches on the tongue or lining of the mouth, persistent tongue pain in the mouth, jaw or throat and numbness or burning in the tongue. The biggest risk factors for tongue cancer are tobacco use, check me, heavy alcoholism almost. You know when you go to the doctors and they have that thing,

this is how many drinks a day? Mine has been increasing every year ago. I used to put two to four. Now it's like 12 to 14 by Thursday. And heavy alcohol alcohol. They don't mention what I had mentioned earlier. Hound dog is going to eat that pussy. That is also.

HPV, I looked at it. It's a sexual thing. You can only get it skin-to-skin contact, anal, oral, and they don't even really touch on, do they? Again, check out my bet on that. If I wasn't lazy, I would have fucking brought it on the show. But it takes a lot for me. And anyways, I don't get paid that much.

That's a lie. Go ahead. No. ahead. No. Good segue, Nick. In our FLA segment tonight, an intruder who entered, who allegedly forced his way into a DeLAND home, that's in Florida, carrying a gun was shot at, what was the title of this?

What did I call this one? Wow. Shot at several times by the homeowner. Do you hear that? Guy came in and was shot by the homeowner. Now the Deland Police Department says the shooter. was not charged, but intruder has several pending charges. Wow, sounds like somebody's making some sense in this story.

Of course, it's Florida. If this happened in New York City, the guy who did the shooting would be fucking in jail. Forever. Let's take a look at the story. When a Delandwoman heard a knock at the door Monday morning, she figured a package of hers had shown up. I thought it was a delivery. She opens the door.

It turns out it was her ex with a mask on, pretending to deliver. her a package before allegedly barging in and holding her at gunpoint. Everything happens so quick. According to the land police, the woman's husband came out of the other room with a gun of his own, sparking a standoff. He told the suspect who police aren't naming yet to leave. When he didn't, the husband fired a single round, striking the intruder in the chest. And there's a picture of Larry the cable guy, had nothing to do with the story.

He was hunting with no shirt on somebody. The intruder fled the home after. being shot. Why am I telling this? Because a good guy stopped the bad guy with a gun. When officers arrived on the scene, they found the suspect with a gunshot wound in a wooded area. The wooded area is right around here. It's the wooded area or down here, depending on who you're with. Thank you, everybody. Go suck it. The suspect with a gunshot wound in a wooded area a few blocks away. He was airlifted to a hospital. He fell out of the helicopter, landed in ICU. The suspect has multiple pending charges while he's in the hospital, including armed burglary, aggravated assault with a firearm, destruction of evidence.

He's receiving medical treatment for his injuries, the sheriff's office said. Deputies believe the intruder dumped the gun somewhere. Police based on preliminary information, the intruder is believed to have had prior relationship with a woman in the home. The woman told the police the suspect had been stalking her. I believe all of it. I'm just saying it's Florida. It's just refreshing because every other state that have to do a fucking 12-year investigation. Not down to Florida.

They go, what? He came in your house, uninvited? It could be a relative. Thanksgiving. You'd invite him? Good. That's Florida. You shot your uncle in the face?

Check. Get out of here. Go enjoy your holidays. Let's move on to Generation Z. We give them a lot of grief. and rightfully so, but I also defend them here and there. Because, as you know, people our age and older people, this has been gone on for years. We have a tendency to romance the pet, romanticize the past when we look back on.

But these kids are pussies. I, uh, no. That was, yeah. No doubt about it. Uh, weed over whiskey. Researchers from Brown University's Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies set out to determine, do you guys know where University of Brown is? That's right, Rhode Island.

Addiction study set out to determine whether cannabis use has an effect on alcohol craving and consumption, specifically whether smoking weed can reduce alcohol use and heavy drinkers. Well, of course, you forget where you keep your booze. The randomized control study included 157 adults, two girls between the ages of two and four, and a fetus they found in the trash and nork. Good night and good luck, you bucks. The randomized control study included 157 adults between the ages of 21 and 44, who reported heavy drinking and regular cannabis use.

That's who they did this on, at least biweekly. Here's the pros to tell you more about the study. So there's a new trend emerging, and it's called California Sober. I'll admit I never heard about it until 24 hours ago, but it basically means people rely more on cannabis and curbs drinking habits, researchers at Brown University are looking at this very issue. A study published this month examined whether people felt any change in their desire to drink. Turn that up a little.

That researchers found that when the participants smoked the cannabis with THC, they drank less alcohol than when they smoked a placebo. I smoked a placebo, some of the strongest shit I've ever had. Holy Christ, I was fucked up for a week. Each participant completed three two-hour lab sessions with different types of cannabis. use, they received one of two levels of the THC or a placebo, and then we're given the choice to drink alcohol or accept the cash payment. Hold on.

Yeah, exactly. Hold on. It's like, you can have this joint or go down on Jennifer Anderson. What? Those who smoke cannabis with higher level of THC, 7.2 percent, that's a good one. It's like a nice IPA, consumed about 27% less alcohol than those who smoked a placebo. They also reported an immediate reduction in the urge to drink. What's the difference?

You're going to be fucked up either way. I have a bit. We'll play at the end that'll prove the difference. Participants who smoke cannabis with a 3.1 THC lightweights smoked about 19% less alcohol. So in other words, the stronger the cannabis, the less urge you have to drink. In our control bar lab study, after people smoke cannabis, they drank about a quarter less alcohol over the next two hours. Lead study, author Jane Metrick, Professor of Behavioral Social Sciences at Brown Center for Alcohol in Acts. Jesus Christ, enough for the fucking titles already.

She's a bitch who watches kids get drunk and then test them. Cannabis had mixed effects on alcohol cravings. the research reported. We found a significant decrease in alcohol urge immediately after smoking cannabis, but not a consistent effect on a different measure of alcohol craving, metric said. This suggests that cannabis may not exert a uniform effect. In other words, it kind of wears off, I guess, and you want to drink, I guess, on alcohol motivation, and that other mechanisms may also explain how cannabis impacts subsequent alcohol use. Yeah, like, how close your dealer is and how close to liquor store is.

How about that? You fucking get. Look at this broad. Like a crazy scientist. I'm going to put this date rape drug in billies. See how he likes it. Anyways, the argument's going on forever about alcohol, right? Alcohol and weed.

That's been the big argument. Of course, the weed people. Hey, well, here's Bill Hicks. does a great old bit on it but pot is a better drug than alcohol fact fact stop your internal dialogue

but you alcohol shut up you're wrong get over it okay I'll prove it to you man you're at a ballgame or a concert and someone's really violent and aggressive and obnoxious are they drunk

or are they smoking pot which is they're a Yankees bet they're drunk I have never seen people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking impossible Hey buddy Hey what Hey

You get flagged for that I don't know I couldn't handle the weed myself And I'm not going to tell the stories again about the I do have three hilarious Nick DePaulo high And in a kite story But I think you've heard them all Let's move on to a story

That kind of dovetails beautifully With the alcohol concept Rum and Raccoons Raccoon gets drunk This is a real story at an ABC liquor store. I didn't know ABC so. I've had, you know,

whiskey at a CBS diner, but let me tell you, what? I'm trying to burp, folks. I'm sorry. Look at the fucking raccoon with a bottle. Anyways, let me repeat that. Raccoon gets drunk at an ABC liquor store in Ashland, Virginia.

This is, I had to throw this in. This is the stories that we liked. Check out this story on the news. A raccoon broke into the store. night of Black Friday and ransack several shelves. They have masks, don't they? Oh, I get it. The animal became intoxicated and passed out in the bathroom.

You got to grow up. You're not a kid anymore. You got to grow up. How about the raccoon had the decency? He goes, I'm not going to throw up an aisle six. I've got to get to the bathroom. You got to give this coon a lot. A lot of credit. Look at them out like a light legs. That's how my dog, by the way. She lays on the top of the

couch with her arms and her legs like a frog's. It's hilarious. Just a lazy bitch. Officer Martin safely secured our master bandit, you know. Oh yeah, a real dangerous job there. Copper. Don't you move you, motherfucker. Blow your brains out. And transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning. It's pretty funny. Handover County animal protection and shelter. They said that in a statement of the paper. You know, raccoons are not the only animals that dress.

There's monkeys. Monkeys are, nobody realizes they're fucking more than 90% Irish. You don't believe me? Steady drinkers and 5% drink to the last drop. This similarity between us shows that a liking for alcohol is determined mainly by our jeans. Throw in racist Hennessy joke here.

I won't do that, ladies and gentlemen. Do you see that monkey? And what's funny? When they get drunk, they start throwing shit out each other in the cages. Those are wild. They're not even in the cage. Imagine?

You go to the bathroom, you're in a robo, you come back, and there's a monkey sitting in your seat finishing your $40 margarita. You, fucking hairy bitch. Anyways, finally tonight on your sister's back hair is growing at a tremendous pace.

Trump, Third World shithole Somalia. And this is why this guy's going to go down as the greatest. I can't believe how thorough he's been and is overturning every rock that you and I and everybody else who has a mind hated for the last 40 years in this country.

So thorough. President Donald Trump has stood firmer about his opposition to third world immigration, especially from Somalia. Samayans have flooded Minnesota, which makes me,

how did poor Minnesota, how'd you get that lucky? Under the leadership, why Minnesota? They're like Samaya, average temperature 98 degrees. Let's settle here in Minneapolis, or it kicks up into the high teens in July. What the fuck? Samayas have fled of Minnesota under the leadership of Democrat,

farmer, labor governor, and big girl. And he is a big girl with jazz hands. Governor Tim Walz, China-loving nitwit, whom Trump described as seriously retarded in a true social post over Thanksgiving. I can't wait the whole historians look back on Trump and read quotes like this and go, the president was saying this shit.

It's not his son. In the same post, Trump announced he would be indefinitely pausing migration from third world countries like Samaya and reiterated his position during a cabinet meeting on Tuesday. He actually today added 30 more countries to the list.

I'm fucking loving it. Now here he is sounding just like God forbid you and us, Mr. Mrs. taxpayer. Check this out. I don't know people mind me saying that, but I'm saying that we could go one way or the other and we're going to go the wrong way

if we keep taking in guard. into our country. Elon Omar is garbage. She's garbage. Her friends are garbage. These are people that work. These are people that say, let's go, come on, let's make this place great.

These are people that do nothing but complain. They complain. And from where they came from, they got nothing. You know, they came from paradise, and they said, this isn't paradise. But when they come from hell, and they complain and do nothing but and do nothing but bitch, we don't want them in our country.

I love it. These people from shithole countries come here. The shitholes. The shithole. Shithole. Up is down. Black is white. And you probably come from a shithole.

The president referred to. That was a quamolmo, by the way. Trump takes issue with the cultural and economic burden of importing tens of thousands of Samayans into a state. like Minnesota. As you know right now, the whole fraud thing, right? They get busted for years. They've been scamming, Medicaid, all that, and pocketing the money. Somebody's going to terrorists. In the billions, by the way, under the nose of Ilhan Omar and Keith Ellison, who now is pretending to fight back, you know. But that, I told you about that guy from, anyways,

important tens of thousands of minds into a state like Minnesota, as well as the ungrateful attitude of migrants like Democrat, douchebag, Ilan Omar. She is, the most hateful. We pulled her out of a refugee camp, this whore. They just, at the base of all that is just racism. That's all it is. It's envy. It's racism. They hate white people. It's them who are the racist, regardless of what conventional wisdom has been telling you for the last 100 years. Samalia, which is barely a country, you know, Trump says they have no anything. They just run around killing each other. Sounds like my Thanksgiving. There's no structure,

Trump said, and when I see somebody like Ilhan Omar, who I don't know at all, but I always watched her for years, I've watched her complain about our Constitution, how she's being treated badly. The United States of America is a bad place. She hates everybody,

he said. Hates Jews. We know that. I think she's an incompetent person. She's a real terrible person. Trump urged migrants like Omar who have developed a disdain for America's culture and founding to go back to their own countries and fix them instead of siphoning public resources and ceaselessly complaining.

That should be on a monument. You know, like the Lincoln and the Gettysburg address, they should have a thing of Trump with that on the bottom. Take your tide and your poor and go back to your own shitholes. That's what it'd say on the plaque. You huddled masses, you fucking tax siphoning leeches. Amen, Mr. Trump. You are the greatest.

You are the goat. That's it, boys and girls. Ladies and gentlemen, on a Wednesday, uh, I, I'm guessing no show tomorrow. I mean, you have two teeth. I should call Sherry. She probably has the answer to that.

Don't be a pussy. You can do it. I don't know. We'll keep it up in the... I'll let you know, Dallas and Sherry, obviously. But probably not. You understand, folks. I have cancer in my tooth, HBV cancer, for eating dog ass.

Dallas knows. It's his dog. I pay him. Okay. Don't forget to do this. Go to Nick Dip. That's where I'm going. Don't forget to go to Nick Dip.

Nickdip.com by December 10th to get 20% off hoop skirts, everything in the store. Or if you'd rather order a personal holiday video from someone like me and order it for someone that you know, you go to shoutout.us, S-H-O-U-T-O-T-U-T-U-S, or go to cameo.com. If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative or say happy birthday to somebody, Cameo.com. It's worth it. It's a good gift.

It's easy. You don't have to go to the fucking mall. Not that anybody goes to a mall anymore. But you know what I'm talking about, right? All right. That's it. You guys think it. You are very welcome.

We'll see you back here, I think, on Monday. All right. If that's the case, have a great weekend. Hi. Good night, everybody.