The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Trial Is Rigged | Nick Di Paolo Show #1555

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about a Stacked deck, Bird flu and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s ��Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 You're crazy! I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck! Hey, watch your mouths. How are you, folks? Welcome to the Filthy Show. Let me turn on the teleprompter. I said, let me turn on the teleprompter. Great to be with you. Apparently, the teleprompter's... There you go. It's... What is it? Wednesday? Wednesday. Bruins stunk it up last night, two games in a row. They don't look ready.

Fucking Red Sox are a laughingstock. Leading the league in errors again. Unearned runs. Throwing it around like it's a goddamn... I love it because the owner is going to get exposed for doing nothing over the offseason. Nothing. I don't know who you blame.

Craig Breslow can only fucking... He's the new GM or whatever, the guy that makes the moves, but he can only do what the budget they give him, I'm guessing. But oh my God, are they getting exposed?

I know you guys don't care. You're too busy watching whatever Transformers. What? I don't know. Yeah, and the Bruins, I don't know. Yeah. And the Bruins, I don't know what the fuck their problem is. But they better wake up in a hurry.

How do you lose to the Ottawa Senators? Anyhow, I have cramps. I can't get going today. Sometimes you just tired. Do you get tired of life? I don't mean I'm going to kill myself, but I'm just tired. Do you get tired of life? I don't mean I'm going to kill myself, but I'm just tired. Did you take your sleeping aid? I did.

I did, and I'm taking it again. And I was in bed by 1230, which is a record for me. Started to pick up the phone and look at the news. And I went, fuck this. Stop it. And yeah. And you know why I'm taking that shit now i'm not dreaming i'm not having all these anxiety-filled dreams that make you fucking exhausted when you wake up it feels

like you went through the whatever you were dreaming about emotionally so i might take this rest i don't care if it kills your brain what do i give a fuck 62 if. If I can just, again, if I can make it to 72 without any major shit, then I'll fight the cancer of the brain. That's my outlook on life. Folks, it ain't easy, let me tell you. Anyhow, let's get to it so we can all go about our day and do what we really want to do, and that's learn the 12-bar blues scale. Anyways, what? I've got to record myself playing the national anthem on my fucking electric guitar. I just don't have the balls to do it yet.

You'll pick it apart online, but I don't care. Stacking the deck against the Don, we always start with Trump news because, you know, he's the only thing that stands between us and a fucking Marxist world, a global world gone mad. The prosecution in former President Donald Trump's criminal trial at the hands of Democrat Manhattan District fat fuck Alan Bragg is attempting to stack the deck, just like a club sandwich this guy inhales, against Trump

in the jury selection, trying to find out if you've ever been involved in supporting President Trump at all over the years, but failing to ask the same questions about supporting Joe Biden, Trump lawyer Jesse Binal says, and he's absolutely right. Can you imagine that? Not asking them if you, that's not hypocritical. You fucking hypocrite. Jury selection is different in every jurisdiction and in every case, but I'll explain that in this case, they are basing much of jury selection on these questionnaires that they've sent, which are very much in favor of the prosecution. You guys can freeze that and read it when you want. So for instance, these questionnaires ask a whole bunch of questions that are meant to

weed out Trump supporters, but apparently they don't have many questions that actually focus on who might be biased against President Trump. God damn it. I'm going to find out what the hell happens here. He provided examples noting that the questionnaire asked if the respondents have ever attended a Trump rally or volunteered for Trump's campaign. It does not end there either, though.

What media organizations do you get your news from? You fucking, really? Of course, they're, you know, you know. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. That's what they should all be saying. And, you know, looking for

people who might be listening to talk radio. You know, the two things that the right, so-called right, if you want to call Fox right, I don't even understand that now. It's, you know, those aren't conservatives that run Fox. Looking for people who might be listening to talk, you know, watching cable news shows that might be seen as favoring President Trump, as opposed to all the other cable shows that are actually a

fucking arm of the propaganda machine for Biden. And they focus a lot of questions trying to find out if you've ever been involved in supporting Trump at all over the years, if you ever worn a red hat and like pussy, shit like that. They don't ask any questions if you've been involved in supporting President Biden, if you might have a political bias and biases that show that you might want to convict President Trump in order to affect the presidential election as a juror. As you've said, when you're in a jurisdiction that was 85-15 Biden in 2020, 85-15, that means 85-4 Biden, 85-15. Isn't this when you move a trial out of a...

Do they... They do what they want. That would be something that would be extremely important, and they just kind of whistle past the grave. In other words, he's got no chance of him getting, that's like having Hitler on trial. Yeah. Help me out.

No, I need something funny. I don't need commentary right now. It's like, I was trying to think of a city in Buckton, but it would make no sense. Tel Aviv. I don't know. Go ahead.

Sorry. No, I was just going to say, I don't see how it gets through this one. Well, I do, because there's something called an appellate court. And then it can get thrown at the Constitution. But if it's New York, the appellate court's already stacked against them as well. Okay, then it goes to the Supreme Court, doesn't it? It's supposed to, but how long

is that going to take? That doesn't matter. You can't... It'll tie it up so they can't... He won't be in jail while they're waiting for that. I don't know. Why don't they just... It's creepy.

And I think this is the fucking 1,200-pound elephant in the room nobody addresses. If they're willing to go this far, what else are they willing to do? It's creepy. And I think this is the fucking 1,200-pound elephant in the room. Nobody addresses it. If they're willing to go this far, what else are they willing to do? It's creepy. You know what I mean? We've been here before in history, folks. I'm not saying nothing. Anyways, yeah, New York

just needs to be douched. Needs to be fucking hosed down like the shithole as far as politics and stuff goes. Imagine if that was a red city like Nashville. What a great city that can you. It's I mean, it's the balls, the energy and the people, you know, but these people generation and you get every migrant and every liberal and every illegal, you know, Biden.

That was Biden's plan. He dropped off at all the major cities, swing state, you know, Biden, that was Biden's plan. He dropped off at all the major cities, swing state, you know, the cities that he needs to. Well, you also saw that there's don't forget to vote for Biden flyers in Mexico. Oh, yeah, it's it's they actually I heard a couple of days ago in the news when the illegals come over, they they're handed this thing to go to a welfare office in whatever city they're in. And there they're asked if they want to register to vote. And I'm not making that. Okay, so anybody anyways.

And here's something kind of related to the election. We might have another little virus coming around, right? Blue, bird flu flavor of the month, I call it. flu flavor of the month, I call it, like clockwork. As we head into another election season, the medical establishment and the mainstream douches in the media are sounding the alarm on another potential pandemic, the bird flu. Yeah, I do not kid you. After warning us for months that 2024 could see another deadly pandemic, the medical establishment in government health organizations, excuse me, are sounding the alarm bells on bird flu, which has been around forever. By the way, if that's what it looks like, my wife would love that in a vase on the table.

Not only are they drawing comparisons to COVID-19, they are in fact claiming that bird flu has the potential to be 100 times more deadly. What, if you're a pigeon? Now Dr. Peter McCullough has weighed in, and this guy's great, by the way. This guy, didn't he even help create the mRNA? He was on all the shows, you know, during

COVID, saying the right stuff, and was upset how doctors were being shut down and shit. Here's what he has to say about this potential bird flu. Bird flu, it was a case in Colorado that jumped from an animal to a worker. Now a case in Texas, basically two years later. This one apparently from a cow to a worker. That story may not be so solid. Basically he had some pink eye, he had conjunctivitis.

So it's very, very hard for this strain of virus to get into humans. Human to human transmission is not a concern. But what he's saying is, this is what they're gonna be feeding you. And how does it jump from an animal to a, but what he's saying is this is what they're going to be feeding you, you know. And how does it jump from an animal to a, that's kind of, H5N1 poses limited, that's the bird flu, I believe, limited risk to humans.

However, this may change in the near future, especially, and this is the key part right here. I wonder where Fauci is right now. If we consider the dark history of gain of function, GOF as we call it, research regarding H5N1, while Dr. McCullough believes bird flu poses little threat to humans at this moment, he does caution that a mutated bird flu, in other words, they'll play with it in a lab until they get it right, anything to win an election, bird flu pandemic would serve several of the globalist goals. Sound familiar, anybody? Why is my phone going dark, you motherfucker?

H5N1 is the next disease X at the moment. However, he says it is possible due to the abundance of gain of function research and biotech interests, ready-made vaccines, and powerful drivers of mass panic in the wings. So, you know, just give it to their boy Fauci and they can finagle it. And then they can say, hey, you're going to mail your shit in. Not that we already aren't cheating. If more cases occur in clusters or bona fide outbreaks with human-to-human transmission, we could be well on our way to a 2024 avian influenza pandemic crisis. The timing is quite suspicious, is it not? Hey, guys, in the second half of the show...

Jesus. Apparently he got a bed. In the second half of the show, Jesus, apparently he got a bed. In the second half of the show, I'll be talking a couple of stories I think you'd love to see. UFC fighter after a fight gives Americans a lesson on why this Constitution is so great, and he can hardly speak English. It was one of my favorite things I've seen. God bless these. The UFC is only going to help America. And that's why Trump shows up at it.

And also, Caitlin Clark was the first round draft pick, and her salary was made public. And all the idiots, I don't call Russell Wilson an idiot, but he's just another guy who doesn't understand how the free market works and how salaries are set. But you'll be interested to hear his comments and how clueless he sounds. Might explain his 12 pick sixes this year. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdip.com, could you, would you?

Sure you will. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much.

See you soon. And a ha and a he. Here's a quick clip. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. And a he. Here's a quick clip. We like to throw something light in after we hit with you a couple of heavy ones that Dallas found that made me laugh. You guys might have already seen it. We've been sitting on it for a few days, but it just cracked me up. I love my, first of all, my favorite thing on the earth, probably as far as an animal,

whatever you call it, is an owl. I have an owl that shows up at my house every once in a while, doesn't even call me or text, just bangs on the door with his giant fat feet and his fucked up eyes, looks in the living room window. I got to repeat David Tell's joke. He says, doesn't an owl look like a parrot's lawyer? I think they're the most beautiful things. I think they look like a movie star in a fur coat. It's fucking... Anyways, why am I talking about this? Hawkeye pierced my ass.

We're learning today... This is a cute clip. We're learning today that having eyes like a hawk apparently doesn't always mean you have great vision. This hawk we're going to show you was right up on this wooden duck decoy and still wasn't 100% sure what it was looking at. When it swooped down, it likely thought it had an easy meal, just like another hawk that got super confused as it tried to attack a lawn decoration that looked like a rabbit. I guess those are out there. Me and my wife came out one day

and we have an ashtray on a stand like on the front porch and it was tipped over and there was a, what the fuck was dead? A dead squirrel. And we're like, what the fuck happened here?

So I said, let's watch the footage because we have a camera. Sure enough, fucking Hawk comes swooping down, grabs the frigging squirrel, then dropped it. I can't remember.

It knocked over everything. It must have dropped the squirrel from Africa. We had the same incident happen about a year ago. We had a little squirrel that was found dead. Yeah, but that had a little squirrel that was dead. Yeah, but that was a porch pirate named Tyrone. Yeah, we couldn't figure out for the life of what the hell happened to it. And then we saw like this big scar looking scratch mark.

And then we started seeing all the little hawks learning how to hunt. So that's what we think happened is the baby hawks were learning how to hunt. And yeah, it was amazing to see this fucker come out of nowhere. I think they're beautiful. And of course they have a purpose. Anyways, check out this Polish hawk. This is so...

Look. That's when it just clicked in my mind that if you just run through somebody's face, a lot of people ain't going to be able to take that over and over and over and over and over and... I picked this by accident. ...over and over and over and over and over...

And over and over and over and over and over again. Dude, I just picked this. Think there's a deeper metaphor there? Run through a motherfucker's face. Then you don't have to worry about him no more. Okay. Oh, my God. Maybe I should not study these before I pick them.

How fucking funny was that? Stepping on his neck, saying, I'm a king, bitch. Oh, that was hilarious. All righty, then. That was a little reprise. Oh, God. Like this one isn't funny. Oh, my God. This was disturbing. I don't get disturbed by much. They always put con. Boy, does that piss me off when they put warning, graphic con, especially on the New York Post clips. And then you watch it, and there's nothing. They freeze it before the cop shoots the guy.

It's a way of sucking you in, and it works every time for me. But every once in a while, you'll stay on one. And this one made me, it's disturbing. People didn't seem to react like I thought they would online. You know, we're so fucking desensitized. I'm trying to talk, folks. Apparently, I'm having triplets. Jesus. In a mind-boggling scene straight out of Weekend at Bernie's, a Brazilian woman,

this is fucking like a SNL sketch, a Brazilian woman reportedly wheeled the corpse of an elderly man into a Rio de Janeiro bank Tuesday to try to get him to co-sign a loan. It's just so ridiculous. The bank customer, identified as Erica de Sousa Beata Nunez, Jesus, why do they have 11 names, was captured on video standing next to the deceased guy in a wheelchair and seemingly holding up his drooping head. It reminded me of Biden trying to have breakfast with his wife.

The wild footage, which was first aired by TV Globo, TV Globo, Brazil's largest broadcaster, captured Nunes talking to the dead man whom she addressed as her uncle, isn't that Tio? And asking him to sign financial documents that would allow her to take out a $3,400 loan. I know. Why was I thinking it was going to be huge?

Uncle, are you listening? You need to sign the loan contract. If you don't sign, there's no way because I can't sign for you, Nunez, says the video. What are they? Is the loan to bury him? Maybe get a cremation? Check this creepiness out. I got a goddamn campaign. Oh! Oh! You want to be a member? I know what you did.

You're a damn traitor. All right, just get the hell out of here, huh? I got a goddamn campaign. Oh! All right. What the fuck? When a banker, when a bank worker tried to point out that the man's color looked off, wow, I'll call you a detective.

How about his odor? Your uncle has 12 hawks circling him. The fellow looked off. Wow, I'll call you a detective. How about his odor? Your uncle has 12 hawks circling him. And he appears not well, the banker said. Nunez dismisses the concerns of the banker. She says, oh my God, go blow, I have more respect you wouldn't blow a homeless guy in film. He is not a homeless guy, a guy that could pay you something.

He is like that, the lady says. He doesn't say anything. Well, yeah, you tend to get quiet when you're dead. Nunez says he doesn't say anything. Uncle, do you want to go to the hospital again? That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer. Oh, my God.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll repeat. That was a corpse. She wheeled into a bank. Nobody else really noticed. There should have been a crowd around. They're going, what are you doing? She didn't even really lie good. She could have said he's drunk, he has a drug problem, whatever.

Oh my. He had to sign for the fucking is nobody else in your life but a pulse I don't know what a world we're living in nothing shocks me I'll tell you hey for those of you guys in Mug Club stick around for the second half of the show

everyone else go to nickdip.com to join Mug Club and get my full show the great Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more meeting Alex Jones on Fridays the Hodge twins to join Mug Club and get my full show, the great Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more, meaning Alex Jones on Fridays, the Hodge twins, and Brian Callen show,

and the undercover team that does great work, have broke some national stories. If you're going to pay for a podcast, you might as well get your money's worth. And by the way, Crowder's show gets like TV numbers in demographics, just to let you guys know. Anyways, yeah, and while you're there click on my tour dates, May 1st and 2nd coming quickly, Sidesplitters Comedy Club Tampa

haven't been back for a while, May 10th I'll be doing two shows at Soul Joel's Comedy Club Pottstown, Pennsylvania and then the very next night the big one at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, May 11th. That's a big one. It's a big venue. We've sold a ton of tickets already.

We need to sell more, though. So pump it up. Spread it around. And I hope I see you guys there. Jersey is always good to me. They have been for a long time. Hi. Good night, everybody.

Good night. And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else, no no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else

And I don't wanna get a job Everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else See ya, see ya, what are ya? I'm not like everybody else Baby, baby, baby