The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump, Zelensky Make Deal | Nick Di Paolo Show #1729

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about the Ukraine Deal, Ozempic and more! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the link below, then the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button.  https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS -   https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Music playing That's when it just clicked in my mind that if you just run through somebody's face, a lot of people ain't going to be able to take that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. I didn't even know that was coming. English major. Marshawn Lynch, I was gonna say. Marshawn Lynch. They call this country racist. That guy isn't fit to be a janitor in any other country. Here he's a zillionaire doing fucking Cheetos commercials and so I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you about these black athletes. They make a lot of money. More than the Jews.

Let me show you something. That's saying something about them. You know them Jews. How are you, folks? That was Nixon if you're 106. Ah. Don't do that. I won't. I didn't know this was real wood, this desk. I thought it was balsa.

Like the rest of the shit in here. Mm, ma, ma, ma. How are you, folks? Thursday. Thursday, as we call it. Last day of the week. For this show, at least. Oh, fucking socks. Let me give you an update for you people.

I do this like the torch leaping. They get up to a 6-0 lead by like the fifth inning last night against Toronto. So I switched to hockey. I go, I'll come back to red socks at the end. I watch like two hockey games. Jump back, it's still 6-0, and I go go let me fast-forward make sure they won this thing I hit the fast-forward button about three seconds a guy hits a three run homer no two run homer fast-forward somebody gets a nut they get another run six three now then somebody gives up for Toronto three run, goes into extra innings, socks loose. They wasted a great pitching performance by Lucas, excuse me, G. Alito, I think it's Lucas, who hadn't pitched in two years. And he was throwing a shutout. And can you fucking

imagine? You can't sleep on Toronto. but they've lost eight out of nine Toronto And they have but they have these guys that could smoke it. I can't believe Guerrero how thin he is now. Do you guys remember Guerrero senior? You know, Vlad? How fat he was when he came into the league? He's got to be osempic in the shit out He I mean he looks great and he's always smiling and I wonder why well, he's got to be Ozempik in the shit out He I mean he looks great And he's always smiling and I wonder why well he's got five hundred and forty four million reasons why? That's a half a billion dollars folks I'll say it again. Oh, that's that's Canada Can you imagine and he's playing baseball

That's like Tiger Woods money, and he's good but come on. He's not friggin' O'Tonnie. What the fuck? Anyhow, I should have stuck with it. I'll tell you, I could really hit a baseball right back to the pitcher, slam my bat down, not even run it out I told you my yeah I think I mentioned it yesterday my guidance counselor was the umpire and he fucking call me out on a low strike I go fuck's sake he goes Nick all right enough about that hockey tremendous well vetchkin gets another goal I mean I, I'm bully. Who won last night? Florida, Brad Marsh and the Bruins were heartbroken. He was a captain, played for 16 seasons for the Bees. We traded them. We blew up the team. And let me tell you something, they couldn't have sent him to a

better team because that team is filled with punks. I mean, talented punks and he fits right the fuck in. Last night, and I'm not just saying this because he was the best player on the ice last night. And I said at the game before, he was setting people up. Nobody was finishing. But last night, he set up the tying goal, or the one that put him two ahead. He had two or three assists.

He was all over the place. It's just fun to watch. I wish I could. Anyways, go watch Hoops. Let's get to it. Let's get on with the show. Oh, what do we got here? What did that be? Oh! He's looking at you, kid. Let me tell you something. You're lying if you wouldn't hit that. You're lying. She had baby's legs but an adult woman's ass and adult titties. It always reminds me of Dave

Attell's joke. Work at a McDonald's. I want to fuck the girl in the French fry. She's a little bit slow. Yeah, but them titties ain't slow. Something like that. I hope I did. I thought I'd give you that as a treat. Delicious. Absolutely. Like I said, it would make my dick look bigger.

I wouldn't even fuck her. I'd just keep putting it next to my dick and go, look it. It's half her body. Then I'd do this. You'd get her on there. You'd do the old helicopter and go look at it, it's half her body. Then I do this, you get her on there, you do the old helicopter she takes off. Remember those things as a kid? Come on folks, have fun. That's what dwarfs are for. Jerry Stiller, King of Queens, they did an episode where the hook was sort of, he always quotes great movies, but then this episode, like Carrie, his daughter was suggesting great movies, and you'd know

he'd know of them, but he didn't, you know. He goes, hmm, what's this one? I picked this one. Something to do about a girl in Kansas and it has midgets in it. And he goes, if it has midges, that spells fun. Anyways, Ukraine, I crane, we all crane for cranes. I had no idea I was going that. I wrote it down anyways. The United States and Ukraine, and you're only going to find this on people that treat the news real. I'm guessing New York Times probably put it right on the same page as the Funnies and CNN probably touched on it at one in the morning.

The United States and Ukraine announced on Wednesday an economic agreement after weeks long press by President Donald Trump on Ukraine to compensate Washington for billions in military and economic assistance to help Ukraine repel the Russian invasion. I didn't hear nobody I didn't did I didn't hear any talk of hey you have to pay us back when Biden was in there and I didn't really think of it myself I thought it was like right but you got it that's a long we didn't give it to you so what if again you can shit all over Trump you want he's ten times smarter than you anyways you know billions to push back the Russians trust Treasury Secretary Scott Besson to my brother said this guy knows his shit.

He's like a real Wall Street guy. He said this in the video on his ex page. Thanks to President Trump's tireless efforts to secure a lasting peace, I am glad to announce the signing of today's historic economic partnership agreement between the United States and Ukraine, establishing the United States-Ukraine Reconstruction Investment Fund. This partnership allows the United States to invest alongside Ukraine to unlock Ukraine's growth assets, mobilize American talent, capital and governance standards that will improve Ukraine's investment climate and accelerate Ukraine's economic recovery. Come on you gotta I can't I can't give

you the exact number you have to cut it where it makes sense. That's fucking beautiful. That's a lot of money. Everybody wants the minerals right? Apparently you make everything with those fuckers. I want to hear Putin's, I suppose today he'll make a statement, like what the fuck you think you're doing? What a great move though. Yeah, pay us back and we'll turn your country into a money-making factory.

I think Biden could have ever, or anybody that that handled Biden could have ever thought of something like that. I'm watching the five yesterday. I watched to see if I get jokes on because Gutfeld uses some of the shit that I write up for his show on the five sometimes. That's why I want and this Jessica Tarlov. She's a lefty and born and raised in Manhattan, overly educated, and I like her.

She's like a bowl of shit. She represents her side well, but every time after her five-minute spiel, you're like, okay, but you're fucking wrong on that too. She brings up all specific facts. Everything's a gray area and fuzzy. She had the balls to look in the camera and go, Trump's first hundred days have been maybe the worst in the history of the cut dead fucking serious and

Brought up all this shit. You'd only hear on MSNBC at 3 in the fucking morning Even Jesse waters goes. I don't I don't know whether to believe you anymore. They work together every day Just can you imagine looking at the camera and saying that it's been a disaster All this and then she backs it up with all this shit that nobody cares about every day. Can you imagine looking at the camera and saying that? It's been a disaster. All this, and then she backs it up with all this shit that nobody cares about. Ukraine's economy minister, Yulia Svrindenko, I thought it was a guy until you pulled up the picture. I had no idea. I'm going to... In a post on X, the breakthrough she said together with the United States we are creating the fund that will attract global investment to our country.

Yeah turn it into a fucking this is what Trump can do for a lot of people and it's what he's gonna do but you jerk off so on the left it doesn't happen overnight. You understand? Nothing's more fluid than the goddamn economy, global economy. Things change every time a president farts in Sweden, for fuck's sake. The left's like, oh, the inflation's up a point every day. Or down a half point. Oh, the Dow. Trump said, and by the way, things are just fine right now, economically, the two sides

offer only bare bone details about the structure of the deal, but it is expected to give the United States access to its valuable rare minerals in the hopes of ensuring continued American support for Kiev in its grinding war with Russia. And again, I'm very anxious to hear the reply today from Putin because Trump's real. Look, Trump gave Putin a chance and what did he do he fucking one of the worst bombings last week ever in Ukraine and Trump said uh bad timing bad time very disappointed in my friend so uh he's trying for best for peace um but you have to be excited if you're like fucking Zelensky be a fucking hero if this works out.

I don't know. I don't have a dog in the fight. Personally, my favorite country is Bolivia. Couldn't find it on a map. It always comes up on Jeopardy, though. Motherfucker. I have to... Oh, this is the guy from Bolivia. Y'all fat fuck, look at you.

Oh! He's mocking the farmer. Oh my God, look, I got a carrot now. He's looking into that camera going where are you motherfucker look what I'm doing that made me laugh so fucking hard they are so cute he's sitting there with the human hands by the way got those fucking creepy hands big belly looks like a fucking baby back ribs that carried. Oh my God.

I love nature. And when I was a kid, yeah, I could shoot something like that with a BB. I couldn't. Today I could not. Sebastian Maniscalco has one of the best bits I've ever heard. His dad had a garden, you know, suburbs of Chicago, wherever he's from, had a nice tomato garden and shit. And he calls a family meeting because, I don't know if it was a gopher, a gopher was eating

all his, a gopher or whatever, a raccoon, eating all his fucking tomatoes and shit. He calls a family meeting. Sebastian goes, you know, most families families, you think the dad would go, this is what we're going to do, OK? With a Chicago accent. We're going to catch that thing. We're going to bring it out to the wild, into the woods, and release it nicely.

No, this is what my dad says. I'm going to get a piece of baloney, put some fucking pressed stone on it. I'm going to murder the motherfucker. It's one of my favorite bits. and pressed down on it. I'm going to murder the motherfucker. That was the man. It's one of my favorite bits. I thought that was so fucking Italian of him. It's like James, the guy that owns

Governor's Comedy Club, love him. He's like a mafioso. Oh, he knew the life. Like I say, he grew up in Queens, and he knew the fellas, and chose to be, you know, whatever. I love him. Fucking, only got to stand in front of a, like I said, in front of a comedy club with

a four thousand dollar suit on and all the bling. I'm standing in front of the club with him and his son comes out and there's an awning at the club and his son goes, dad, there's a nest of birds up there. He looks at his son and he goes, get the bleach. That is Italian as it gets. My grandfather was the same way. You see a garden snake, he has to fucking cut it in half with a rake. Oh my God.

Fucking make me, get the bleach. I say it on stage any time he performed it. Somebody starts hackling, I go, James, get the bleach I say it on stage anytime he perform it somebody starts hackling I go James get the bleach all right let's do another story that hits home with me a bear although I've switched oh oh oh no Zempik I yeah I switched to Monjaro I don't know the difference. It seems more effective according to Charles Barkley. So yeah. Here we go. Once again.

They keep putting out these articles. And I've said this on the show before. They hit pieces. Because like Jenny Craig and all those, their businesses are getting destroyed as soon as Ozepa came out. People like, I'm not gonna eat broccoli and fucking fish for a month. I'm gonna take this pill and wake up

like a fucking Holocaust victim. He's shredded. So yeah, here's another article how dangerous it is. Y'all fat fuck, look at fat fuck look at you talking about I dropped third 198 point four yesterday. I Haven't seen 198. I don't know when gotta be 25 years in the 190s Anyways weight loss drugs like ozempic andygovia sending dozens of American, dozens? Oh my God.

340 million people, but there's 12. Dozens of Americans to the hospital every day with potentially life-threatening side effects. Diarrhea and fucking bad breath or constipation is life-threatening? What kind of shit do you have? Researchers at the CDC found there was 25,000 visits, again that's hardly nothing, between 2022 and 2020. Fucking hospitals in New York City see 25,000 gunshots in a weekend. Get the

fuck out of here with that shit. Between 2020 and 2020 20 about 68 per day for symptoms related to semaglutide the main ingredient in the drugs the most common complaints were nausea oh god I get that watch in the fucking view diarrhea oh no no how is that dangerous do you know I'm lactose intolerant and I don't even take a lactose pill because they're full of shit, no pun intended. I'll eat a block of cheese just because I love cheese so much and I know I'm gonna give birth to triplets in a bathroom in about two... I still do it. You're gonna stop me from eating pizza? And other gastrointestinal complications such as vomiting and

abdominal pain. Other side effects sending people to the hospital were hypoglycemia, which is low blood sugar. When I was in college, Sigma Nu fraternity, we had a kid named Jamie Klein, a German kid, had zero body fat. You could see through him. He was almost like a, he was just, you could see every vein and he had hypoglycemia. He would have like a... He was just... You could see every vein and he had hyperglycemia. He would have to eat 10 to 12 meals a day.

I go down in the kitchen, true story. I got out of the kitchen around 1 in the afternoon. He has six Campbell's soup cans opened up. And he didn't even cook them. He just went like this. Like they were beers. Yeah, but then you'd see him with his shirt off and you could see his abs, you could see his internal organs. Noodles.

Yes, it looked like an x-ray of noodles. Anyways, yeah, that's allergic reactions and medication errors. Why should that be in there? Because the people are stupid, such as people taking more of the drug than prescribed. I shoot the shit right into the head of my cock like it's fentanyl. The CDC report found the majority of the ED visits, 80%, occurred in 2023 as the use of a semaglutide medication soared. It is estimated, Dallas, that about 13% of Americans, that would be like the black population. I'm just saying numbers wise.

They don't need this shit. They live on cherry coke and Cheetos and they're ripped. Am I right folks? 33 million people have ever tried at least one weight loss drug. They come amid growing concern. No. About adverse side effects. This is what they gotta do to create those. I'm not saying they don't exist.

I'm not saying some people have bad reactions. And yes, if you take too much of it for years, your stomach will get paralyzed. I believe all that shit. And the researchers are urging doctors to do a better job at educating patients regarding use and side effects of semaglutid. Now, if I'm the doctor, I'm gonna go,

first of all, I tell them about that. Second of all, it's written on the bottle. What, I gotta fucking change their diapers? You motherfucker. The study did not reveal if any deaths related to the medications occurred. Well, I think if some did, you would have put it in this article.

Boy, can I see right through you like Jamie Klein? I? Started to get on the shit folks because I got up to 228 nobody told me nobody told me I mean people online Hey, you're getting that whatever maybe a couple people Excuse me, but not my wife Not not fucking and I have no friends down here. Who am I kidding? Not even Dallas said anything. I blow up slowly and You know, I saw that last special I went holy moly, but the camera again Worst thing you can do is have a few beers before you go on stage It swells your face and then the camera puts another 20 on it

But uh, but I I'm like, uh, I used to come home and I noticed I was putting sweats on Immediately and I'm like this ain't fucking right and then I heard about the shit. I started with those Zepek now I'm trying to get down to 180 I weighed 180. This is what I look like Look at that stud 180 maybe 178 I was 21 or 22. That's the big difference. I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack. Now it's a beach fucking blue whale in Cape Cod. And that's why I do it. I don't burn the fucking

cat. Your metabolism slows down. Plus you're busy when you're young. You're up at five in the morning partying and shit and you get up at nine because you know there's more pizza in the fridge whatever the fuck and you're working out and I told Dallas this was my diet when I look like that I'd go to the house of pizza and Brighton Mass right right next to our apartment and I would get at three o'clock every afternoon I would get a pastrami sub large with mustard cheese and hot peppers every at trick I'd he would eat that and that would be it for the day I would get a pastrami sub large with mustard, cheese, and hot peppers. At trick, he would eat that, and that would be it for the day.

And I did that for, I don't know, like three weeks. It was delicious, and it worked. I don't know, the rest of the time I was drinking, I don't know. I could never do that now. I could never forget that out of it. Now it's fucking embarrassing. Get away from me. I know, like Ozepik's gonna take me back for 30 decades. Hey folks, I'm doing some stand-up comedy.

It's this month already. Jesus, here comes the day. What's today, first or second? First of May. It's the first of May. In 14 days, May 15th and the 16th, that's a Thursday and Friday night, one show each night, I'll be at Zany's Rosemont, Illinois.

That's May 15th and 16th. I that's a Thursday and Friday night, one show each night, albeit Zany's Rosemont, Illinois. That's May 15th and 16th. Uh, great club, been there many times. Uh, if you want to support the show and get some merch, we have a lot of great stuff for ya. My wife worked very hard on it. She wears different stuff every day in the house. I'm like, where's mine? The fuck? very hard on the she wears different stuff every day in the house i'm like where's mine the fuck anyways we get hats you see that we get hats we get baseball hats baseball shirts t-shirts micro skirts belly shirts and pumps you know the

shoes we get pumps with a little logo on the back anyways buy something at nickdip.com you guys can watch full episodes of my show and Steven Crowder louder with Crowder and all exclusive rubble premium content dot com uh... you guys can watch full episodes of my show and steven krauter laura with krauter and all exclusive rubble premium content you can do that ad free with one subscription so join rumble premium by clicking the link in the description below it's when that's ten bucks a no isn't did time with that right

uh... anyways there was a sale but uh... it'd be worthwhile you're gonna get a bunch of guys who are heavy hitters on the internet and think like us. So do yourself a favor. I never meant that I don't want this way govey in the neighborhoods with children. I can't remember the rest of it. Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching!