The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump's Ghastly Gag Order | Nick Di Paolo Show #1559

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Gagging, FB BS, Gator bait and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Balls on this prick. Hi. I'm the prick that was just mentioned in the clip. Nice to be with you on a Wednesday folks Nick DiPaolo show from the great state of Georgia and

I don't know I was up late last night watching NHL action can't help it fucking Red Sox poor bastards Tristan Casas fucking serious rib injury I don't know how long he's gone for all the best hit no Devers bastards. Tristan Casas, fucking serious ribbing. I don't know how long he's gone for. All the best

hits. No Devers for the last week or so. Story gone. Casas gone. Two starting pitches gone. I'm forgetting another big one. Devers, Casas, Story,

I don't know. It literally looks like a triple A lineup. Bobby Delbeck, who I'm trying to be a fan of for years, he can't hit major league pitching. He's a big, strong guy. Hit 33 homers in triple A last year,

so they've got to keep him around. He can play third, first. He's a big athletic guy. Can't hit a fucking beach ball if you're older to him. Oh, my aching stem. And we're relying on him now. And yet, I think they're 500 or maybe a game over. You are, yeah, you're 542, three games behind. Unbelievable.

You got to hand it to Cora. And he's juggling. And that's because the pitching has been unbelievable. They had the best ERA in baseball two nights ago, they said. In baseball. It was fucking insane that all this shit happens. They could be smoking. Anyways, I know you guys don't like to talk.

You probably want me to cover women's basketball. I know what you love. I support that. love. I support that. Anyways. What else? Prostate, huge. That's all I got. I guess we shall get to it. We always start with Trump news because let's be honest. What other time in the history of this country has a political party tried to literally imprison the opponent who would win in a landslide. And I'll say this again. Don't believe the fake numbers out there as far as polls go.

He's neck and neck. Biden's ahead by one. Shut the fuck up. They're doing that so you Dems will actually show up. They put the real numbers up there. You wouldn't even leave the house. I'm convinced of it. Anyways, Trump makes the judge gag. Oh, that's a clever one. Here comes the biased judge.

Here comes the fake. Here comes the hack. Prosecutors in Donald Trump's hush money trial asserted Tuesday that former president has been violating a gag order, barring him, they're trying to, oh my God, from attacking witnesses on social media in an attempt to get locked up for political purposes.

Well, you're the one who gave him that option, number one. for political purposes. Well, you're the one who gave him that option, number one. Here are some black broad with a story. I put that in there. Go ahead. A retweet that the former president did that was put out by a Fox News host

about whether or not there were some people trying to get on the jury who were lying about what some people trying to get on the jury who were lying about what their intentions are to get on the jury. And the former president, he retweeted that. And the attorney for Donald Trump said he should not be held in contempt for doing those kinds of things. And then the judge asked him, well, specifically, who was doing these tweets? those kinds of things. And then the judge asked him, well, specifically, who was doing these tweets? And the Trump attorney says, well, there's a group of people who are doing things. And then the judge indicates, well, then that is willful. They are willfully making some determination about what is going to be retweeted. Because it seems that the former president

changed a few words of that tweet by Jesse, Jesse Waters, who was that Fox host. And that's when the judge, he rang out with what sounds is when you're reading it, it sounds like he's angry. I'm saying you are losing all credibility. You're losing all credibility with this court. I have to tell you. Really? With a court that has no credibility to begin with and a trial that shouldn't even be happening. with a court that has no credibility to begin with and a trial that shouldn't even be happening. And Democrats, anybody agrees with that who's trying to be objective, which aren't many people left, I guess,

thanks to MSNBC and NBC. Prosecutor Chris Conroy said the DA's office was not yet seeking to have Trump jailed over the gag order. Why not? Why not? Because, you know, he's already a martyr. Make him a double martyr. While adding that he seems to be angling for that. What gives you that idea? The judge's

order prohibits Trump from publicly attacking witnesses and jurors, something prosecutors say he's done at least 10 times since the order went into effect. Oh, boy, you. The DA's office is seeking the maximum $1,000 fine for each of the 10 posts. It says violated the order, along with an order that Trump removed the post from his social media platform. It also wants a merchant,

that's the judge, to warn Trump any future violations will risk not just additional fines, but also as long as 30 days in jail. It's bad enough. A fucking guess. You know what? Why don't you tell the people how you got your black robe, Judge?

That's right. Unfucking real. Taking his First Amendment away. He can't fucking, you know, he has to be there every day. Can't they know if he goes out and gives those speeches and shit, Biden's laying around doing nothing. He can't even go out.

It's so embarrassing they're hiding him. So if Trump does that, by the way, all the media shit is on Trump. This has been a blessing. Nobody's talking about Biden. I don't know if it's a blessing or not. If Biden was an effective president, it would be one thing

because the focus is all on Trump. But this is actually doing them a favor now that I think about it. Hiding that fucking failure of a president. My God. Help us. They're shutting his mouth. They're taking his rights away. It's incredible.

People on the left. All the fucking media just loving it. They're shutting his mouth. They're taking his rights away. It's incredible. People on the left. All the fucking media just loving it. They have the cancer. Let's take care of them. What do you mean by that? Oh, I don't know. It used to be one phone call. Now it's three texts, an email, and a... Remember?

A fucking mafia would go, yeah, get rid of him with one phone call. Anyways, let's move on. Facebook full of, why am I stuttering? Facebook full of shit. Like that's news. And a significant shift from its previous approach to elections,

Mark Zuckerberg's meta, or meta, is distancing itself from politics, which could have a pro, you know, after they stole one election, they're like, yeah, I think we did our job, which could have a pro, and that's not arguable, by the way, folks, so shut the fuck up if you're arguing. I know my fans, you agree, which could have a profound impact on the 2024 U.S. presidential election. Yeah, I could almost make it fair. An analysis of posts by the Trump and Biden campaigns show both have faced a 60% drop in engagement between 2020 and 2024 on Facebook.

Well, I understand, you know, Trump having a drop because it's run by lefty jerk-offs. What's Biden's excuse? The Washington Post reports that as the 2024 presidential race between incumbent Biden and former President Trump intensifies, Meta, the parent company of Facebook and Instagram, that Zuckerberg, is making significant changes to its approach to politics on its platform. What are you going to do? Be less transparent about your cheating this year? This shift comes after years of courting the political world with CEO Mark Zuckerberg once touting Facebook's influence

in the 2016 election, stating, we help millions of people connect with candidates. No, you help them connect with one candidate, fucking Biden, so they could hear from them directly and be better informed. Really? Is that what you did when you fucking hid the Hunter Biden laptop story? Is that? You fucking hypocrite. Yeah. The company's attitude towards politics began to change after it was blamed in part for allowing users to organize the events of January 6th.

Oh, that's why. That's why they're backing off on politics. Unbelievable. Nothing to do with you getting caught lying. They had him in front of a Senate hearing committee admitting to as much. We're making changes. We're trying. There's so many people out there we can't keep.

Zuckerberg told investors three weeks after the event, people don't want politics and fighting to take over their... Funny? Right after Biden got elected, he comes out and fighting to take over their experience on services.

Who gives a fuck what you think? Apparently I do, and I'm tired of it. The company has reduced the visibility of politics-focused posts and accounts, imposed stricter rules on political advertisers, and limited the targeting system that politicians have long relied on to reach potential voters.

The impact of these changes has been felt by both Biden and Trump campaigns. I love how they equivocate. You know, oh, both sides are doing it. Both people aren't interested. Nobody wants this election. Nobody likes Trump or Biden. They always equivocate. Oh, both sides are guilty. Question I'll ask. How about Zuckerberg pouring $450 million of his own money into the last election, right before the election, into grassroots efforts for Democrats in Pennsylvania and other places? How about that? So now you're going to back off?

They probably told them. They probably told Zuckerberg, we got this one wrapped up. We don't need you. Now that you've been in front of the uh senate or whatever anyways folks second half of the show i'll be talking about why jerry seinfeld thinks the movie industry is over which it is we i think we all know that not sure why he's releasing a movie now maybe it's on netflix and shit right i think he's talking about our love with the cinema. Also,

a child in Colorado on a playground escapes the clutches of the scariest looking pedophile I've ever seen. If you fucking put this mug shot in a movie, you'd be like, that's over the top. You're trying to paint them as bad people. What do you mean? People are trying to fuck kids? Yeah, we are. Anyways, that's exclusively on

Mug Club, so join now to get it. Where do you go? NickDip.com. Of course. Hey, boys and girls, head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store.

Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Of course. So yeah, okay, Zuckerberg, you back off now. Between him and Google, pretending they, you know. Oh, what? back off now. Between him and Google pretending they, you know. What? You ever think the right would come up with an idea how to, I don't know. Why don't you hire the Chinese, Republicans, hire the Chinese to hack

into Facebook? Well, they're already doing that. I read a thing yesterday. Oh, it was FBI guy Ray, I think. But somebody was, for every like 50 hackers on, you know, hacking around the world on the internet, there's 50 Chinese to one American. As far as counterintelligence, we're outnumbered by, and Ray's shitting his pants, and nobody's listening to him. Why would you? After the Trump thing. Anyways, when we hit you with heavy news,

we like to clear it with something from... Something from what? No, no, no! No! That's right. FLA. Is that what we do? Is that the sound when we play FLA?

Why did I just notice that today? FLA in our FLA segment tonight. A Florida man is being hailed. This one tickled my funny mouth. As a hero after using his truck to run over an alligator that was dragging his neighbor into a pond in Collier County. And there was a story, oh, this was in Naples. Was this in Naples? I think it was, because I was going to call my brother and go, what the fuck, I'm not going to your pool. Walter Rutter, hi, Walt, said he was driving his truck. Now, when he saw his friend and neighbor, Rick Fingeret.

Oh, Jesus. Again, only in Florida. Hey, Fingeret. Fingeret, I don't even know it. Being attacked by an alligator in his neighborhood. Yeah, in Naples, Florida. Driving and we saw a man, this is the neighbor talking, laying on the ground waving his arms. We pulled over, thought it was Biden having an ice cream. We pulled over and I got out of the car

and saw that an alligator had him by the leg. It was dragging him into the pond. Alligators are talking. Hey, there's a lot of old Jew meat around here. Rudder said his friend who's 67 years old begged him to run over the alligator. And he said, fuck that. This is a new truck. No, in hopes that it would release his leg. And guess what? The plan worked. The alligator released the man and went back into the pond. Now let me emphasize,

he released the guy and said, fuck it, I'm going back into the pond. After being run over by a truck. And it's the reason this is the most durable animal, whatever it is, on the planet. Been around maybe billions of years. It's sort of a relative of dinosaurs. Unless you're, again, if you're a religious Catholic, it's been around 10 billions of years. It's sort of a relative of dinosaurs. Unless you're, again, if you're a religious Catholic,

it's been around 10,000 years. I could never figure that one out. I don't like to pick on the right place. Do your fucking math. Can you imagine? I'd rather fucking be bitten by Tyson. Look at the choppers and the skin.

They ran over his head with a truck. And he goes, dude, fucking alligator. Finger it was airlifted, so it was serious, to Lee Memorial Hospital

in Fort Myers to be treated for his injuries. They don't have any hospitals in Naples? What the fuck? He had to wait because a couple of Red Sox were in the waiting room. With serious injuries.

He said that he had been walking his two Labrador dogs. Oh, yum, yum. Yum, yum. When he was attacked and that they never left his side throughout the entire ordeal. Yeah, because you're their meal ticket. Don't think they fucking like you. They might even bite you one day.

I love when people do that. You know, the fucking dogs, they love me. They love that you keep them alive with nourishment. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission had trappers relocate the alligator after capturing it. They measured it as at 11 feet long. Yikes. I see one of those little geckos on my steps, a little fucking, and I go, ooh, looks like a little alligator. Gets on you, jumps on your shoulder sometimes. Freaks me out. I'd scream like a bitch.

Anything bigger than a fucking turtle came after me. Ooh, I had a snapping turtle in my pond up in Westchester in New York. Dude, the shell was about the size of a trash can cover. And the neck was like Hillary's neck. Had to be 21 inches. And I put a stick in front of it yeah just snap that fucker and I knew it couldn't catch me I run a 5 8 40 on average here about seven unprovoked aloe ala gator attacks a year as opposed to 12 to 1 black to white who wrote that that's not fair

unprovoked ala get on humans every year in Florida. Very few attacks lead to fatalities, and most victims are male. Sexist. That's what I was going to say. I'll kill the alligator now. You got a problem with us guys? Yeah, motherfucker.

Anyhow, any he. I guess it's a good time to put out the warning that, uh, those of you on mug club, uh, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else. I pity you, uh, go to nick dip.com and join to get my full show and to get Steven Crowder's full show, which is worth it in itself. If that's not enough, you get Alex Jones on Friday. You get fucking Brian Callen and the Hodge twins and the undercover unit that's working on something big right now, I was told. They break national news. You're not going to get that from any other podcast.

Anyhow, yeah, sign up for Mug Club to get all that. While you're there, click on my tour date button at the top. May 1st and 2nd, which is Wednesday and Thursday of next week, which means I better start dusting off some stuff. I'll be at Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa. And then on the 10th, I'm going to do two shows in one night. I told Tommy that was forbidden. Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. A great, a great club. And then the next night, I'm back up in Red Bank, New Jersey, May 11th, Count Basie Theater.

We broke the 700 mark. So that's good. Jersey's always good to me, so please come out. That's a big one. Okay? Okay. Hi. Good night, everybody. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else No, no I'm not like everybody else

I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else