The Nick DiPaolo Show - Tulsi Gabbard Gets It | Nick Di Paolo Show #1287

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

JD Vance slams Ryan. Adams pulls over busses. Socialist school cancels fun. "A witch made me do it". Davante Adams shoves cameraman. Tulsi switch hits.

Hey, guys. I announced some new tour dates to my patrons earlier today, and we'll be doing an encore show about a... Two Florida dads. Two Florida dads in a road rage incident, and both had guns, and I think we're done as a species. You won't believe what they did. If you want to get the encore show Show first notice of tour dates and more,

please join my Patreon page and sign up for as little as $3 a month. Visit patreon.com slash nickthepottershow to sign up today. The elves went to Oktoberfest and they're banging Swiss Miss Instant Coco. guitar solo And now... And Hawaii, you look great. You smell horrible, you look great. You smell horrible, you look great. I'm doing Tom Snyder again. I don't know why. Great to be with you folks.

What a show we've got tonight on a Tuesday night. We've got, I don't know if this guy's a dwarf midget, just a small guy. Danny DeVito, really a disgusting looking midget. I'll go with midget. And a great actor, we all love him. James Caan, you know him from, of course, the Godfather movies. And then a real funny movie he did back in the 70s, Brian Piccolo's Brian Song, if you remember that.

And we got a bitch whose head goes around 360, Linda Blair. She'll be out to throw up on you, Ed. And we got a musical guest tonight. The band out of Sacramento, Fuckstick, be with us. Ah, God help us. All righty. Hey, Dallas, I go home yesterday all excited, thinking I'm going to watch the Braves. They weren't on yesterday.

Yesterday. I know. I was looking for them, too, and I was like, what are the scores right now? I know. Ah, fuck. God forbid I did something productive. So, you know, they weren't on.

So I pick up my guitar, fucking lift my head up three and a half hours later. Still stink. I am obsessed with it. That is a dangerous thing to try to learn it. I can't walk past it

without picking up. And I'm at the level where I hear a riff that I like on the radio, and I'm at the level where I can go home and just get the main riff done. But that's not what I wanted to do. I want to learn full songs. I don't want to be fucking. Then I put on YouTube, like I said, and I see an eight-year-old Asian girl playing like Clapton with her eyes.

Are you a motherfucker? Swearing at her, throwing shit at the TV. Of course, her father probably had a chain in the basement. Beat her every five minutes if she didn't get a note. You hit a flat. Ching-clow-wing-a-ow. Anyhow, any he.

Ended up with seven in the pool. Hanging in there. This kid, Brazoni, this goddamn kid, every year, this son of a bitch, he's at the top, every, I don't know if he has algorithms, he's in the mafia, I don't know what he does, I want him investigated, and my brother runs the pool, anyways, let's get to it, shall we, ladies and gentlemen, Let's get to it, shall we, ladies and gentlemen? J.D. Vance rips Ryan.

I caught this, you know, as I'm doing my research and I see a headline. I like J.D. Vance. He wrote Hillbilly Elegy. Is that what it's called? I mean, he's a smart dude. He's creative. And I think he'd make a good senator. He's had enough of the bullshit. And he wasn't always like a real right winger,

but he has had it like a lot of people. Anyways, he debated stupid Tim Ryan, who I thought for a second I'd like. Right after 9-11, he sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Was it 9-11 or was it the Afghan? I don't know. Yeah, it was right after 9-11. He sounded like, but he just talks a big game.

Another lefty that just doesn't know his fucking ass from his head. J.D. Vance turns the table on Democrat hack Tim Ryan when a specific rape case came up in the Ohio Senate debate last night. Came out of the blue, but. Holy Christ. Ricola. holy christ rickola vance who said he was pro-life but always believed that in reasonable exceptions responded by delivering one of his most scathing lines of the night seemingly blaming ryan for the uh rape of a 10 year old ohio girl who sought an abortion in neighboring Indiana, 10-year-old. Can we say sought an abortion with her mom? She didn't do it herself. What'd she get on her Harley?

Out there getting laid, drinking. What am I saying? It was a rape case, but not funny. But I'm just saying. So, yeah, so Tim Ryan is going to school. I mean, Vance is going to school Tim Ryan. I think Tim Ryan brought this up and he was going to have a little, it was a nice exchange and this is how you're supposed to debate, okay? Anyways, go ahead. I have said repeatedly on the record that I think that that girl should be able to get an abortion if she and her family so choose to do so. But let's talk about that case.

Because why was a ten-year-old girl raped in our community, raped in our state in the first place? The thing the media and Congress and Ryan, they talk about this all the time, the thing they never mention is that poor girl was raped by an illegal alien, somebody that should have never been in this state in the first place. You voted so many times against border wall funding, so many times for amnesty, Tim. If you had done your job, she would have never been raped in the first place. Do your job on border security.

Don't lecture me about opinions I don't actually have. I'll let you fucking, I'll let you take the nail out of your forehead, Tim. Answer the question. How do you argue against that? I was watching Bill O'Reilly years ago, and this illegal alien killed, he was a drunk driver, killed some young kid. And fucking Geraldo Rivera, anytime anything Latino comes up, he can't, he's worse than anybody. He can't put his, you know, bias aside. And that was the argument Bill around saying, well, if he wasn't in the country,

how would this happen? Can you imagine trying to argue that? Fucking handlebar mustache, stupid. Anyways, so yeah, how do you answer that? I'm sure he has some fucking line. Well, if you didn't, they go back to high school. If you didn't fuck my girlfriend, I wouldn't have voted for the wall. Whatever the fuck. In a debate where neither candidate was afraid to directly go after his opponent. Isn't that the whole idea? Ryan called Vance an ass kisser.

Damn it. I wish I found that clip. Then they show a picture of J.D. Vance licking some guys. While Vance compared Ryan to a toddler. Damn it. I wish I had this one. These should be pay-per-view events. It was clear both candidates.

God, these lights are melting my fucking rods and cones it was clear both candidates felt they had ground to make up in the race with less than a month to go until election day so can i ask you a question and again you guys vote like me, in cases of Democrats. How in Christ's name, after what's gone on the last two years, could you vote Democrat? I don't care if it's for dog catcher. How the fuck could you vote Democrat in what they believe? I mean, a lot of Democrats, we'll talk about one famous one that's leaving the party. If this isn't a total massacre at the midterms, it is a rigged game, folks, game over, whatever. And I mean a massacre.

I don't get it. And of course, the left is still trying to play that. Ooh, once that Roe v. Wade thing was overturned, that gave us a... Meanwhile, fucking Biden's approval ratings are underwater deeper than ever. Anyhow, he's a good president.

Nice going. Nice voting. You steal an election to put him in it? At least if you're going to steal an election, put somebody in there. For Christ's sake. I'm trying to think of who. Bill Parcells. He's still around. That's who it should be. You know, Trump? He knows Parcells he's still around that's who it should be

you know Trump he knows Parcells winning guys alpha males you know what I mean they know how to win leaders not fucking Joe Biden he wasn't a leader when he had his marbles it's a bag of shit

Kamala are you shitting me I wouldn't have banged her in her prime big horse neck. Fucking nose like John Amos. That's the father in Good Time. I'm a funny fuck if you're in your late 70s. Let's move on, shall we? Put your money where your mouth is, Eric Adams.

What a horse's patoot. Again, I just talk about voting Democrat. You get rid of de Blasio and you, you know what? I think I have more respect for de Blasio because he was a communist and didn't really try to hide it. Fucking Eric Adams was going to be the tough law and order guy. He hasn't lifted a finger. Again, folks, every day I skip stories that are too violent

because they'll get flagged or whatever. I can't show you what goes on in New York every day. It is insane. And this dickhead's walking around upset because a couple of busloads of Latinos showed up in New York. Greg Abbott, Texas governor, criticized Eric Adams, the New York mayor, over the ticketing of buses. This is what they're doing. A sovereignty is at stake here with illegal immigrants. And this is nitwits. Ticketing of buses carry migrants from his state to the so-called sanctuary city of New

York following a state of emergency declaration in the Big Apple amid the influx. An emergency, state of emergency. Can you imagine the New York Police Department, listen to this, this is so petty and political, was seen over the weekend pulling over buses near the Port Authority that had dropped off dozens of migrants. The officers reportedly searched each bus for possible infractions, including tire treads, fluid levels. Oh, my God. Why don't you check the fluid level in your spine, bitch?

And even windshield wiper replacement. Let that settle in, folks. As migrants are drowning in the river, coming across, little girls are being put into sex trafficking. Think about that. And this is what Jerkoff's doing. Abbott, it was actually genius to do this. Sending them to the fucking libs.

Talk a big game, but when the rubber hits the road, this has been going on forever. When the rubber hits the road their fucking ideas just crumble because they're not realistic wiper replacement the new york post report can you fucking that's what they're doing shut up mind your fucking business and shut up unbelievable let's listen to And again, this guy was the top cop. Well, first we have the actual, the bus is arriving. Oh, we do.

We actually have one of the buses arriving. Oh, that's right. Let's take a look. Come on now and meet everybody. And hear us sing and... Boy, that was the whitest Hispanic song I ever heard. They love their colors too, don't they? The Latinos.

I hope you people out there my age, otherwise you're going, what the fuck is this? Looks like an age quilt. I went paintball shooting. That's what I looked like. I was real bad at it. I had no shirt on. But anyways, what?

Oh, shut up, you fucking twat. Sources told the Post the inspections were part of a ploy to find excuses to take the buses off the road and complicate the transportation of migrants caught illegally crossing the southern border into New York. Really? Illegally? What? Biden's flying them in.

You didn't say shit. What are you talking about? They're like children. They have no business. Fucking they have no business. What a... Both sides, man. There's a few on the right,

but I, where's Ted Cruz and Jim, and they go away, you don't see them for months, and then they'll be out of here and yelling, nothing changing. They're all full of shit, folks. I'm telling you, get your muskets ready. It's gonna get ugly. Let's listen to the dink.

Is this him? Let's listen to, woe is me, Eric Adams, the guy who claimed, you know, a couple of years ago, this is a sanctuary city. We'll take them in. Now listen to him. 17,000 asylum seekers, more than 17,000 asylum seekers, mostly from South America. Pause. Why you say that? Who care where they from?

Why you gonna be racist? 17,000? Abbott's like, that was how many people were on my constituents' front lawn last night in El Paso. What are you, fucking shitting me? 17,000? There's that many people waiting in line at a Dunkin' Donuts in Times Square when I lived there?

You mother, look at you, bald. Very nice dresser, though, I got to say. But anyways, go ahead. Bus directly to New York City from our southern border since April of this year. Oh, boy, you. Many of these asylum seekers don't know where they are going or what awaits them at the end of the line. Pause. They thought they were going to a sanctuary city.

at the end of the line. Pause. They thought they were going to a sanctuary city. You're going to welcome them with open arms and, you know, feed them and clothe them and all the shit you guys promised until they land in Martha's Vineyard or your fucking backyard, you phony fucks. This isn't a new development with the Democrats.

You guys have been like this since I was 11. Fuck the fuck off. You don't hear that kind of talking, Neil Cabuto. Go ahead. Hundreds of buses have arrived in New York City. Since early September, we have seen an average of five to six buses per day. Yesterday, at least nine buses arrived. The majority are adults who cannot legally work in this country.

Many are families with school-aged children. Some are in desperate need of serious medical care. New York City has helped them all. But extending that care has come at a great cost to our city.

Oh, boy, you. Shut the fuck up. Feed and clothe them. You're already whacking people taxes, outrageous taxes. Do something about it. You're Sanctuary City, bro. Don't be racist, y'all. That's what the Republicans don't do. You should be on there going, you racist.

How dare you complain? Meanwhile, he's got people staying at four-star hotels. There were people, I didn't even report this yesterday, there were people knocking on doors looking for jobs and shit in New Jersey or whatever who just got here in certain states. Literally, I think it was New York, knocking on doors and asking for food. Are you kidding me? That's how bad it is where they

would come. Really? They got Nike sneakers on. Better fucking track suits than I ever owned. What are you talking about? I want to see some naked people bleeding coming across the river. Then I might open my arms. This is another pathetic ply, it says.

Another pathetic ply. Not play, ply. There's like eight of these in each article I read. Ply what? Wood? By Mayor Adams to stop Texas from busing migrants to his self-declared sanctuary city. A spokesman for Abbott's office told Fox News that's exactly right. Yes, sir. Each bus used by the state of Texas for this busing mission undergoes thorough Texas Department of Public Safety commercial vehicle inspections.

This is what we're talking about while our country's being invaded. Before departing for our sanctuary cities, Abbott, a Republican, has bussed thousands of migrants to New York, Washington, D.C. They caught him jerking off in a field. What the fuck are you doing?

Washington, D.C. and Chicago in an effort intended to bring attention to the overwhelming resources in border towns from Democratic-run cities. Good for you, Abbott. I'm loving it. Why would they put that picture anywhere? But the busing is a bipartisan effort with Democratic mayor. Listen to this, folks. It's so bad. A Democratic mayor of El Paso sending more migrants to New York than Abbott has.

What does that tell you? Last week, Adams declared a state of emergency to help respond to the influx of migrant crisis, which he said will cost the city a billion dollars this fiscal year. How the fuck would you know? Oh, fucking idiot! You really are, Eric. You disappointed me.

I tried to be open-minded. I told all the New Yorkers, you dopes. I saw him on day one. I went, oh, no. I mean, he's the guy who created the, what is it, the Black Association for Cops or whatever, the Black Caucus or whatever. I can't remember. But anyways, you know, a special group of black cops because they're different.

That's how you know he was a putz right off the bat. New York, I don't, I want to blame you, but again, I don't believe people even vote anymore. I think these people get appointed. This show is entirely supported by the Tampax Company from... And you listeners, thank you to those who joined on Patreon in the past week and those who made contributions.

Please continue to do so, and I'll promise I'll keep working to spread honest direct dirty filthy comedy and commentary through the show uh you can contribute at nickdip.com and i'll read your name on the show i'm gonna warn you it's gonna change your life uh we appreciate it thank you so much folks Let's move on, shall we? Socialism on the march. A Pennsylvania Montgomery County school district is canceling its annual Halloween parades at its elementary schools. Why, Nick? Why would they do that? Oh, I don't know. Let me guess. Safety over safety and inclusivity concerns.

Oh, I don't know. Let me guess. Safety? Over safety and inclusivity concerns. They really just want to use safety, but they know we're catching on to that. That's how they're getting rid of all your civil liberties by saying, it's safer this way. It's good for you people. What's good for you? And people are starting to catch on, so they throw inclusivity in there, which is even fucking worse. The Lower American School District has been holding these parades, listen to this, for more than 50 years. You know, only 50 years of tradition. However, school administrators, translation, communist Marxist fucks, sent out letters

to families at all six of its elementary schools last week saying the parades will not happen this year. This is what liberals do. They take the fun out of life. Everything's got to be under the guise of, look at me, I'm a good person. Just sucking the fun out of everything that's good in this world. Some parents are upset over the decision, while others are fucking retarded. Am I right? That was well said. Can you kill that air conditioner for now,

please? It's blowing right on my left tit. I'm telling you. Oop. Leave all that in there, right? Sorry, I don't know if I have to tell you that. Some parents are upset over the decision, while others, like I said, are severely retarded and relieved. They're great. They're fun, and it's the anticipation.

Everybody talks about the costumes that they're going to wear, said Linda Joseph, a parent in the school district that proves I'm old because I'm looking at her going, wow, she's a youngster. But this woman seems to get it. Let's listen to, I forget her name, but Linda, go ahead, talk. Linda Joseph has fond memories of watching her older kids in the Halloween parades. She's upset her youngest won't have the same chance.

I feel like it's just crossing the line and it's just, where does it end? So next people are going to be offended by pumpkins. So we're going to take away pumpkins or jack-o'-lanterns or pumpkin carving. Lower Marion School District put out letters like this Friday telling families Halloween parades at all six elementary schools would be canceled, citing safety as the main reason why. We all saw what happened outside a football game at Roxborough High School. Here's the dumb.

First of all, I don't know what happened, and I didn't even bother looking it up. I don't care if 20 kids get shot. It's got nothing to do with what we're talking about, Amy Buckman. Ladies, I love you, but sometimes I regret giving you the vote, honestly. Most of these are smart, like Linda there. But then you get girls like this with the haircut like Mickey Dolenz from the vote, honestly. Most of these are smart, like Linda there. But then you get girls like this with the haircut like Mickey Dolenz from the Monkees. And Amy Buckman, okay, she takes her college education

and now she's got a job at a school where she has a little bit of power. And she's, see, that's the face of the enemy right there. Okay? She wants to change our society. And this is how they do it well the kids are at danger and shut the fuck up anyways let her talk a couple of weeks ago and so we continue to reevaluate we continue to work with local law enforcement and county experts

about what you need to work law enforcement and county experts to decide whether to let the kids have a Halloween parade. Let that soak in. This is a way of just destroying traditions in this country and replacing it with this shit. You get it? Fucking choke the life out of her. Back to stupid. The district says the other issue is not everyone celebrates Halloween, and those kids have had to sit in the library in the past. Oh, okay.

Some of them don't sit. You know what? A lot of people here don't celebrate Ramadan. Let's try shutting that down. Who the fuck are you kidding? You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! I'm angry at that. Anything left?

I like her pants. A little exclusionary. It didn't really feel like it was generating that sense of belonging that we hope to have in our schools. You hear the garbage. You hear the goo gobble. The psycho babble. The left wing PC fucking code for I hate America's

tradition just spilling out of her stupid head. Safety. But why? Did anybody get killed? They've been doing this 50 years what are you talking about we looked at all of that and we said are the parades really that important to the students that's what she said and the answer we came up with is not really this is chick think by the way you wonder why the balls have been cut off. There's danger in every possible venue in every possible way.

So what are you going to do? Cancel everything? I don't know, said parent Rachel Gutman. Rachel gets it. Of course, they're trying to make a channel-proof world, a risk-proof world. It is so silly. What danger are you talking about? Some parents are disappointed saying the parades are nothing more than a fun activity for the kid.

Exactly. Let them have a little fun. No, we're going to, wait till you hear the end of this. This is what I threw up blood last night. Others, however, think the district made the right call. Those people should be taken out and shot in front of their children. I think it's more inclusive. Inclusive. All the shit that's wrong in this country. Fucking diversity, inclusivity. It's all horse shit. I think it's more inclusive that

there's not a Halloween parade. Totally understand where the district is coming from in terms of the children's safety and the fact that many from in terms of the children's safety and the fact that many parents can't attend the parade, said parent Amanda Hirschen, who should have been sterilized and never allowed to have fucking kids. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating like me?

The district says kids will still, listen to this, here you go, still be able to dress up on Halloween. I bet you they make the boys dress up like Wonder Woman and vice versa. And instead of, and they're going to dress up on Halloween instead of having a parade. Instead of having a parade, there'll be fall-themed activities in the classroom. They asked the kids how they felt and they said, I'm going as a photo party. Fall theme activities.

What are you going to do? Just slowly chip away at everything until there's nothing left. Slowly my ass. The fucking rush. Fall theme activities. You know, can't carve a pumpkin and shit. Knives are involved, and that's Wicca or whatever the fuck, so somebody be offended

by that. What are you going to do? Look out the windows and watch the leaves turn? You're in California. You can't even do that. You're going to stuff a turkey? We all know the pilgrims are racist. What's your ideas? It's the best story I ever did. Showed the whole thing tonight at 7.

On Eyewitness News. Oh, God help us, Mother, Father. Our Father who fought it in heaven and hell will be right. Kids, what do you think of doing some fall things in the classroom? What do you think of the school administrators? Do you have a lactose intolerance?

That's a yes. Hey, Nick, what are you doing? I don't know. Danny DeVito's here. Sit down, you fucking Cheswick. I am. How about me not even getting it? Dallas, I got to tell you, man,

best thing you've said on the air ever. Do you hear what he just said? I am. I almost missed it. I'm looking down at my notes. How about a hand for the goddamn Oktoberfest guy? Lighten it up, ladies and gentlemen. Where are we?

Oh, a witch made me do it. We're staying with the, I don't know why my, I touched up a little, and it came out kind of a gold color. I don't know what that's about. What do I get, jaundice? Anyways, let's stay on the Halloween theme. A witch made me do it. Sounds like me

when, you know, my neighbors say, why are you cutting the grass? And I point to the wife in the kitchen. A man accused of twice, not once, ladies and gentlemen, twice, tossing a dog over a bridge, said he was instructed to do it by, who else?

Witches. Of course he was. Witches told him to do it. You cursed rat. Look what you've done. I'm melting, melting. Oh, my world, my world. Oh, puppies. Spartanborough County Environmental Enforce, look at Enforce at enforce them oh my god who the fuck what is it eighth grade enforcement officers responded to a column monday october 3rd uh of someone tossing a dog from a bridge over uh water located on a highway. Yeah, most bridges are located over water. Thanks for writing that, Stunard. 11 in the Fingerbill area.

What? I can't. Highway 11? Is that what? Highway 11 in the Fingerbill. Boy, that's a tough town to grow up if you're a girl. Hey, Betty, we are from Fingerville. Where's that? That's in Fingerpop County.

Anyway, the Fingerville area of Spartanburg County. A witness told officers that a man was tossing a dog off and over the bridge. What does that mean? Off and? Jesus. Folks, you understand we pull these stories off the AP. These are actual adults who went to journalism school. Officers searched in the area below the bridge and later identified as and later identified

it says as 43 year old oh my god a 43 year old Shannon Lee Cantrell holding a dog this is in a choke hold can you imagine being a dog and this is your fucking owner

I'm surprised he had time to being a dog and this is your fucking owner? I'm surprised he had time to throw a dog off a bridge. What with his fucking meth dealings going so well. Look at this guy. Looks like a wannabe bass player from fucking Arkansas. At least you don't look crazy in the picture, stupid. What the fuck? Wouldn't you love to know his upbringing?

What a nation of just, as Bill Hicks said, dog patch. Cantrell, that's him, the lead guitarist of ABBA, told the officers that witches told him to throw the dog from the bridge. Watch out because I'm... Do you believe we grew up with that commercial? And I didn't end up in prison killing someone? Police said the dog was thrown twice in wet from being in the water well wow you must be a real detective putting that together what do you think it was gonna have whipped cream on it yeah fuck what kind uh cantrell told the officers that the dog was his and released ownership to spottenburg

county you're not gonna hurt that tough. You wonder why they're a little mean? Officers determined the distance from the bridge to the ground was approximately 34 feet. That's a fucking little high for a dog. You know what I mean? Cats? Fuck them. I'll pop one off a bridge. The one-year-old dog, by

the way, and I swear to God, we had a cat that followed my sister home. We kept it for a couple years. It was attacking. And one night it fucking clawed my sister in the face. We were watching Happy Days. My father grabbed it by the back of the fucking neck. He hated the fucking thing. That was it though. My sister was almost crying. Grabs that fucking thing. The thing's biting and kicking him. He doesn't even flinch. Goes upstairs. I follow him to see what he does. Goes out the back door. Fucking throws it so hard. You know how cats always land on their feet? Not this one.

This thing bounced for about 20 yards. Fucked it up. And guess what? Two days later, after my dad went to work, it was gone. I go, Dad, what'd you do? He goes, eh. My cousin said that he told my uncle,

I think he fucking threw it in the Beverly River. I swear to God. That's what happens when you fuck with a DePaulo fan. If you're a cat. Thing was, me, it was the cutest. It was gray and white. It was the cutest fucking thing. But it was, somebody would probably kick the shit out of it

before it came to our house It was so funny though. I'd have my buddies over I'd go You know what the cat you're not gonna appreciate this because this is before your time. There was a there was a Great a coach for the New York Rangers when I was a kid email Francis He isn't email the cat Francis. They call the coach. I don't know why. So my brother named the cat Emil. People are like, what the fuck is that? Anyways, I'm sure that thing ended Tony Soprano style. The one-year-old dog did not show any visible signs of injury.

What was he going to have, 11 crabs hanging off his but was clearly shaken by the incident he told the cops, I'm shaken but I'm alright and they said, did you know David Berkowitz the son of Sam, yeah the dog was transported to Greenville County Animal Care for assessment he was happy, you could tell

there he is, he's back I'm sorry, that's this guy's wife commenting for assessment. He was happy, you can tell. There he is. He's back. I'm sorry, that's this guy's wife commenting. How do you do that? Deputies with the Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office arrested Cantrell, took away his base, now he's playing in a high school band,

transported him to the Spartanburg County Detention Center. Detention Center. Notention Center, not detention. Dentention Center. How many is that today? He faces animal cruelty charges. Good, fuck him. Bye, dickhead.

We actually have footage of the dog when they found the dog in the water coming out. John Madden went through a transition. Look at that tub of chips. How dare you put a two-piece. That's what fucking, that's what Oprah did. That's what Oprah did. I have a whole bit on that. It's old, but convinced three generations of fat chicks. You go, girl.

You look beautiful. Yeah, you look beautiful. Don't be ashamed. You should stay in the house until you're 90. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to smell you. What's that from? Fucking something I like. Guys, make plans to come and see me on the road.

Here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. The next night, the 12th, Snappers Comedy Club in Fort Myers. Sunday, November 13th, the next night, Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa. And I just added Friday, February 3rd and Saturday, February 4th, the Grove Comedy Club in Lowell, Arkansas. Friday, March 11th and Saturday, March 12th,

the Comedy Club of Kansas City. Don't see the word fucking theater anywhere, Tommy. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Right here, great front of my eye. Is this the last? Two more. You got two more?

Watch me rip through this one. All right. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Watch your mouth, Mr. Bird. In our RTR segment, that's reverse the races. Where's the big headline thing? It didn't come out? There should be a headline above the article. Maybe it didn't come out. Oh, yeah, it didn't come out, I think. Okay, well, anyways, this is about

Devante Adams. You remember him? He's now a Las Vegas Raider. He got a little moody last night after the game. They lost a tough one to Kansas City. The Raiders star, Sieber, shoved a camera operator while walking off the field and back into the tunnel following the Raiders' wild 30-29 road loss to the Chiefs on Monday night. It really pissed me off. I suck cock, and I love it.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Well, it's news to us. You're a hell of a receiver. Anyways, the camera operator, a young guy, was holding a tall piece of equipment, appeared to be inadvertently walking in front of Adams, because he's doing his job. He's carrying a piece of equipment, he stumbled, first of all, you know why I wanted the headline?

Because it said, Devante Adams conflict after the, how did they word it? God damn it. It was so misleading, it was like the cameraman and him got into it. What's the headline? That's why it was interesting how they worded it like it was both their fault. Raiders Devontae Adams shoves cameraman in heated post-game incident. Yeah. In heated post-game incident.

Heated post-game. It makes it sound like, you know what I mean, like they got into it somehow. It's not a heated incident. How about in stupid move? You know what I mean? It wasn't an incident. It wasn't heated.

Heated implies two people were mad at each other. Anyways, he stumbled and fell backwards. Oh, did he? After he was pushed, you mean? Yeah, on his back after Adam's two-hand push and was helped back to his feet by a security guard. Again, by the way, the kid was white. I'll give you my theory in a second. Adam's paused for a moment and stare at the camera operator before doing what helping him up no proceeding to walk into the tunnel I'm sure the if I was you operate I would look bad and then I would have been fired by the way he's a great player I actually fucking like the guy but this and I know we lose our shit. Sometimes we laugh.

But I've never... Can I just give you my theory? He's a black dude. And he does what black people do when they're pissed. If there's a white person within a fucking foot, you're going to get whacked in the face. Oh, Nick, come on. Shut the fuck up. I'm 60.

I've seen it a million times. Here's another thing I want you to watch. And I bet you if you asked the brothers this in the NFL, they would laugh. Or college. When they run out of bounds, they do not avoid an old white guy. It almost looks like they pick him out. I've been saying that for years. And then I went online and I saw it in chat rooms.

I thought I was being paranoid. They will pick out a fucking white dude, young or old, and flatten you. I really believe that. Oh, come on, man. The man he shoved did not appear to be seriously injured. Just his brain spilled out of his left ear and he shit his pants. It is unclear if the equipment he

was holding was. Yeah, who gives a fuck? See what they turn... And this guy named Jared Schwartz that wrote it. I'm just going to... PC, you know, they share a common sadness, the black and Jewish people. But watch this, this really bugged me

because I wanna like this guy. Go ahead. Ah, I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. What a dick. Here you go. Can you fucking imagine? And I've lost my temper a million times.

I just can't picture doing that to anybody except for a Hispanic woman in her 80s. But listen, what'd you say that for? Now, I'm going to give Devante some credit here. After the game, he went on Twitter or whatever. Sorry to the guy I pushed over. Like there's a fucking wine bottle. After the game, Adams tweeted, obviously very frustrated at the way the game ended.

You know why he's pissed? Because he caught the, it looked like the winning touchdown on a beautiful play. And he was going to be the hero. And when he ran in front of me, he says, as I exited, of course, that's how he words it. He ran in front of,

yeah, he was doing his job. My reaction, and I felt horrible immediately. And you know what? I tend to believe him. He says, that's not me. It is though. It's all you brothers.

My apologies, man. Hope you see this. And I guess the guy got back to him today on a phone call. Fuck yourself, convict! I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. At least he went on Twitter. He's a hell of a... I don't think there's a better –

well, Kelsey for the Chiefs had four touchdowns last night. Anytime you need a big play, he's there. This guy, though, nobody can cover this guy. There's a few of them in the league now. Cooper Cup, sorry. Cooper Cup is the best fucking thing ever. I've never seen a guy – it's the first half and he's got 100 yards every game. Should have been the MVP, by the way, the year they won

the Super Bowl. He had 16 touchdowns. Lead in receptions, lead in yardage, lead in touchdown. Case fucking closed. But this guy, nobody can cover this guy. He looks good in a Raiders uniform, I have to admit. I know Dallas doesn't think so.

But anyhow, all right, let's move on. I think this is it, right? Final story tonight. God damn it. Show's going long. Tulsi is right. What? Tulsi Gabbard on Tuesday announced she's no longer a

Democrat. I assume she went to Republican, but only because I see her on Fox all the time. But she didn't. I don't think she chose a party. In a video, savaging the party and its leaders. So we love her for that. Let's take a look at my Gail Tulsi. This girl's in the military.

She's like a fucking leader, man. I really like her. I don't know how she's a dem. I really don't. But this is her savaging the Democrat Party. Go ahead, honeybunch. I can no longer remain in today's Democratic Party that's under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers who are driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue and stoking anti-white racism, who actively work to undermine our God-given freedoms

that are enshrined in our Constitution, who are hostile to people of faith and spirituality, who demonize the police but protect criminals at the expense of law-abiding Americans, who believe in open borders, who weaponize the national security state to go after their political opponents, and above all, who are dragging us ever closer to nuclear war.

Now, I believe in a government that's of the people, by the people, and for the people. I'm for you, girl. Unfortunately, today's Democratic Party does not. Instead, it stands for a government that is of, by, and for the powerful elite. Now, I'm calling on my fellow common sense, independent-minded Democrats to join me in leaving the Democratic Party. No such thing. If you can no longer stomach the direction that the so-called woke Democratic Party ideologues are taking our country, I invite you to join me. Amen, sister.

You come on over here. Hey, everybody. We're all going to get laid. Tulsi, Tulsi. Perfectly said. Why can she see it? And the other ones can see it, too. One thought is that the Constitution and the oath that we took when we was military yep

yeah is still there absolutely she took it seriously they took the oath to these nitwits they don't count they're all bullshit well some of them believe in it not too many um so the fucking left, they're aware of the old thing. They just piss all over. They don't believe in it. They don't believe how this country is founded. Because they're only serving themselves, not the actual people. Of course.

Fucking. Anyways, good for you. Don't take no shit off nobody. Good for you, Tulsi. Alright, that is it, ladies and gentlemen, for today. Don't forget Came shit off nobody. Good for you, Tulsi. All right, that is it, ladies and gentlemen, for today. Don't forget Cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a friend or relative. Go to Cameo.com and click on it, and I'll make a video on my phone. We'll set it to them, and we'll have fun. That's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You are very welcome.

See you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day. guitar solo Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it? It's the best deal. The highest cash back. The most savings on your shopping. So join Rakuten and start getting cash back at Sephora, Old Navy, Expedia, and other stores you love. You can even stack sales on top of cash back. Just start your shopping with Rakuten to save money at over 750 stores. Join for free at rakuten.ca or get the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N.