The Nick DiPaolo Show - Twitter Throws MTG in Shi!!er | Nick Di Paolo Show #646

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

Maxine Waters calls MTG extremist. AOC calls Republicans "sexually frustrated" toward her. Antonio Brown loses his mind. School cancels "Jingle Bells". Kid forced to eat pizza. LGB crypto?

Hey guys, if you're not a paid subscriber to the show, please take a moment and subscribe now. Starting today, we are introducing the Nick DiPaolo Show phone line, where you can call up and leave a message for me to play and respond to on the show. This number is only available to subscribers. You'll also get access to the daily Encore episode, which nobody else gets, and hundreds of show archives. Plus, you'll get a discount on merch and free merch, depending on what level you subscribe at.

You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo Show. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Oh, goodness gracious. Welcome to 2022. I'm sure it'll be a better year. Ha ha, you shitting me.

If you're looking for happy, positive, optimistic outlook on where we're headed, don't come to this show. We are in for a... This is going to make 2021 look like a great year. Why? Because we have a fucking mentally retarded old man running the show. A dumb snatch of a vice president who, and half the country is dumb enough to vote for that. Actually, no, like I said, it was 14 people. Anyhow, yeah, I'm in a good mood. Good to be back at work.

Anyhow, yeah, I'm in a good mood. Good to be back at work. So much better than laying around watching 19 college games, and porn in between, and eating turkey and eggplant. I cook like a bitch. I cook like a, and Dallas was supposed to come over yesterday. Calls me up with some cockamamie story, he's got a cold. And then I hear him today, I thinkamamie story. He's got a cold. And then I hear him today.

I think he has cancer. He wasn't kidding. So I had to eat 12 meatballs myself and half the eggplant. And I made a blueberry pie. I think I'm gay. I made a pie from scratch. That is fucking homosexual-like. No offense out there, bags. In the N-word segment today, congratulations to New York City for officially ushering in apartheid in 2022. That's right. The city will take a patient's race into account when distributing

life-saving COVID drugs. That's right, Whitey. You'll be the new Rosa Parks when waiting for the jab, no matter how sick you are. All because some self-hating white people with medical degrees started a rumor that black and brown people get discriminated by the health care system, even though they can come in here illegally and get help. I guess that explains why every time I've ever sat in a

hospital waiting room, out of the 36 people in there, I'm the only white guy. That's how discriminatory it is. This, despite my tax dollars paying for very treatment, they're about to receive doling out medicine based on race. How long before this is applied to every facet of our society? Fuck it. Let's just segregate now and get it over with. And that's the N-word. Can you imagine? We have a story that I'll follow up on that in detail. That's where we are.

That's where we are in 2022. You understand that using the model literally of apartheid, basically. All right, let's stay with race. Mad Maxine, representative Maxine Waters, still alive, branded Marjorie Taylor Greene an extremist radical

who has no business in the House after the congresswoman was permanently banned from Twitter. And nothing says you're a right-wing radical like being banned from Twitter. So I guess there's about 100 million of us that are right-wing radicals. Look at this basset hound with a fucking wig. This James

Brown wannabe. Look, she's got she's got fucking she's got brims that she should be using to sweep out a fucking hotel room hanging from her ears. I love this broad, by the way.

You can call her everything you want, and even if she is over, which in my opinion she's not, we're not going to get people on our side. It's going to take civil disobedience. You guys don't seem to understand that. She does. South Carolina. Crazy bitch. Speaking on MSNBC.

Oh, it must be true. She was on MSNBC's oh, it must be true. She was on MSNBC's Politics Nation. Al Sharpton, really his skeleton on Sunday. There he is. This guy used to be fat. What, did he have his fucking stomach in his, ugh, staple his mouth shut? The senior Democrat lashed out at Republican Greene calling her dangerous.

Said this to Al Sharpton. What folks says about this family, I do. I have told you and told you that you can always tell a lady but the way that she eats in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. That's what he used to do.

Eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. That's what he used to do, eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. Let me just say this, she says, when you talk about Congresswoman Greene, you're talking about the kind of extremist radical that is now in the House of Reps who is basically, you know, dangerous. You need to shut the fuck up. What the fuck is she talking? Here's the person that was out, remember, 2016, telling people, you've got to get in their faces, go to gasoline stations and restaurants,

get up in their face and tell them we don't want you here. Now, what a dumb, and I'm going to say it again, folks, I don't think I'm ever going to vote again. I'm serious. Nobody keeps reelecting that bitch. Black people, I'm trying to say it again, folks. I don't think I'm ever going to vote again. I'm serious. Nobody keeps re-electing that bitch. Black people, I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Look at this bastard. Do you really

keep re-electing her or I don't even know how it works anymore. I just don't believe it. That's the head of hair I had in high school, by the way. She then referred to Rep Green's endorsement of the claim the 2018 Stoneman-Douglas High School shooting in Florida was staged, although her comments were made before she entered Congress. Rep Waters said she's dangerous.

By the way, that statement about it being staged isn't any more outrageous than you saying Trump supporters and Trump started the insurrection and it was the worst thing since 9-11. Those are on equal mentally cuckoo footing, okay? Rep. Waters said she's dangerous because she doesn't believe the Constitution herself. But you do? She's been threatening other members of Congress. Really? Well, let's listen to what James Brown...

Jane Brown had to say look at the pipe they have been all over and in the face of aoc out of new york following her around trying to intimidate her pause is she that ignorant or weren't they in the face of every Republican Ted Cruz family having dinner? Do you remember all these? Following people into restaurants and shit? You dumb bitch. I'd like to make that racial, but I can't. I can't. I turned over a new leaf in 2022.

Bullshit. Fuck her. Anyways, go ahead. He has not believed that little children that got killed in school by, you know, a murderer who invaded... Pause. What, a Ted Bundy break-in? A murderer. She doesn't even know that it's Stoneman Heights. She can't think of it because she's in her late fucking hundreds. A murderer coming to school and Freddy Krueger fucked him up at the... What a fountain of shit. You know what I'm talking about. Go ahead.

Their school, it actually happened. She denies it. And so this woman is not only radical, I think that she doesn't have good sense, period. She has no business in the House of Representatives. She loves guns. She wanted to bring her gun into the House of Representatives. She loves guns. She wanted to bring her gun

into the House of Representatives. And I think if she stays around, she's going to create some really difficult problems for us who are trying to serve in the House. The only house she should be serving in is mine. Give me a sandwich.

You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. What a dumb old lady. Rep Waters' comments come after Twitter permanently banned Rep Green's personal account on Sunday, although her office profile remains on the social media platform. Twitter said its decision to remove Rep Green's personal account came after she criticized Republican Rep Rhino, by the way. I don't give a shit if you saw action or not. Dan Crenshaw its decision to remove Rep Green's personal account came after she criticized Republican Rep Rhino, by the way. I don't give a shit if you saw action or not. Dan Crenshaw, because he called for using FEMA, Federal Emergency Management Agency, which no real American would want,

resources to bolster COVID testing sites. Yes, let's get the government and the military involved. Don't fucking fall for this guy. Hey, Pete Davidson, he owes you an apology. In a Telegram post on Sunday, Greene said of her personal accounts, permanent suspension. When Maxine Waters can go to the streets and threaten violence on Twitter, Kamala and Ilhan

can bail out rioters on Twitter and chief spokesman for terrorist Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps can tweet mourning Qasem Soleimani's death, but I get suspended for tweeting theirs, which is vaccine adverse event reporting system statistics. Twitter is an enemy to America, and it can't handle the truth,

which is exactly right. Okay, but we've known that way before you came along, but now it's, now nobody even, nobody even says, hey, isn't that censorship now? Now it just goes without, and it wouldn't be so bad if they, well, it would be if they shut that. You should be able to say anything. I don't care. You should be able to threaten people. I'm serious. Either believe in free speech, you know. And they just fucking block information. It's the most insidious shit that they're doing. And it's getting worse. That's fine. She says, I'll show America we don't need them. And it's time to defeat our enemies.

It's freedom, baby. Yeah. Freedom, baby, yeah. Exactly. Banning her. Oh, my God. Folks, we have to, honest to God, we have to step it up. She gets it. I, I, I, oh, boy.

She should have the Proud Boys to her office. Show them she ain't fucking around. I'll tell you who is fucking around and is a big hypocrite, the unibrow with the horse teeth. Ocasio-Cortez on Friday shot back at criticism from right-wing figures after a photo of her on vacation with her boyfriend in Florida, you know, where people are running around unvaxxed and she despises. Look at him sitting like the bitch with his legs crossed. That's perfect for somebody like her.

That's her ideal of a real man who sits like Liberace after he just finished a big number. She's not even looking at him. She's got her face buried in her phone. Look at me. Anyway, she was on vacation with her boyfriend in Florida. She put up a picture that was shared online suggesting that her critics start projecting

their sexual frustrations on her. That's like an old cliche about conservatives and shit. Turns out they're the best ones in bed, by the way. Give me a fucking pastor's daughter any day over some fucking skank who doesn't shave her armpits

and eats vegan food. Her snatch smells like a salmon that fucking sun dick. What? How to talk is that? It's 2022. Sexual frustrations on her. I'm seriously. sexual frustrations on her. Seriously. Remember we've done articles on this show

about how people on the left, they don't get married. A lot of times they're alone. They're on Tinder. They're fucking lonely. How do I get on Tinder, by the way? What? You can't.

Steve Cortez, a former Trump campaign advisor, shared a photo on Twitter on Friday of Ocasio-Cortez in public with her boyfriend sitting like a bitch, Riley Roberts. Well, his name's Riley. Vacationing in Florida, the state that she can't stand. Cortez attacked Ocasio-Cortez attacked Ocasio-Cortez. Oh, his name's Cortez, too? Boy, I'm getting very confused. This article's for not wearing a mask in public.

And also took aim at Robert's gross pale male feet. That's the guy, you're on the plane, he always takes his shoes off. Ocasio-Cortez responded because he's a narcissistic waitress by retweeting the photo in writing, if Republicans are mad they can't date me. Oh, my God, what a fucking ... I'd like to date you and then have the cops find your snatch in my freezer with an axe in it. That's right, we're putting that out there. Fucking come get me. They can't date me. They can just say that instead of projecting their sexual frustrations onto my boyfriend's feet, you crappy weirdos.

She is a hypocrite, though. All she does is lecture people on wearing masks and all that. Look at her. You're just a horrible person like anybody who votes the way you do thinks the way you do. It's starting to get old ignoring the very obvious strange and deranged sexual frustrations that underpin the Republican fixation on me, women, and LGT people in general, the New York congresswoman added. on me, women, and LGT people in general,

the New York Congresswoman added. These people clearly need therapy, won't do it, and use politics as their outlet instead. It's really weird. Fuck your mother! I wouldn't fuck you for practice. Neither would my daddy.

He's been dead for almost two years. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you pig. If you met her on a date, you met her on a dating app, let's say, and you had my politics, and she probably puts a decent picture of herself, which would be touched up for an hour and a half. But then you'd talk to her for three minutes at a coffee shop. I would punch her right in the head.

I'd go, what is that? She'd turn up. Knocked punch her right in the head. I'd go, what is that? She'd turn up. Knocked her unibrow right off. Ian Haworth, editor of The Daily Wire, replied to Ocasio-Cortez's tweet by writing, I definitely do not want to date you. I'm glad

then, this is her responding, I'm glad you felt the need to share that with the world, Cortez quipped like a fifth grader in an argument. Don't worry, this is totally normal, a totally normal thought to have and share as an editor of a right-wing website, and totally doesn't prove my point at all. She's being really sarcastic, see. I hear if you say it enough times, you'll actually start to believe it.

In other words, if he says, I really don't want to date you, if you say that enough, because he really does want to date you. What a narcissistic, immature, juvenile, dumb cunt with a capital K. She added that she found it so creepily weird that people like Hawthorne are responsible for shaping the news headlines, as opposed to CNN, your favorite network you're always on, where they fuck kids. We all see in the media, they should be really concerning. Ocasio-Cortez has family that lives in Florida. Oh, they have to explain at the end, with their mother,

has family that lives in Florida. Oh, they have to explain at the end. With her mother, Blanca Ocasio-Cortez, she had an abortion, having moved to the state shortly before her daughter launched her successful congre... Yeah, look at all the bills she's passed. There she is adjusting her glasses because she thinks she sees a penis.

No, she's looking at how her boyfriend's sitting. Jesus, Bill, grow a pair, will you? Minga. Hey, guys, if you haven't already, make sure to sign up at the Comics Gym or on Patreon to become a monthly supporter. You'll get access to the exclusive Encore story. Today I'm talking about New York City taking race into consideration as it relates to life-saving drugs, COVID drugs. We all know who that will benefit, which is hilarious. You read that headline, it's 2022.

You don't think it's – who could it be about, obviously? You'll also get to access to the Nick DiPaolo Show phone number, so you can leave a message for me like this one we got right here for today's show hey mr depaulo alec charleston west virginia huge fan of yours man and uh i just want to get your take on this story that i heard on a new show this is about centennial elementary it's a den Denver public school. They are having racially segregated playtime to benefit equity. And so we'd love to hear your side on that. Merry Christmas.

Alec, thank you. Great question. So they're segregating kids at recess or playtime. You know what I say? Good. Good. Good. That's right. I think it's all right to say you're for segregation now since so-called progressives, whether it be Harvard graduations, whatever, dormitories and college campuses are segregated

because that's what people on the left want. So I, because I'm on the right, I can't say that. And it has nothing to do with being racist or disliking. But I'm just saying what we've been doing for the last hundred years isn't working. So let's try it. Maybe Bull Connor and fucking George Wallace had a point. I mean, black people agree with George Wallace, apparently. The liberal ones, the ones that make up academia. So yeah, let the black kids play. You know what? Even if you let them play with each other they probably won't because nature even if they do as little kids right once they get into high school go walk through any high school and it's been this way forever and it still is you're

gonna see it's like it's like a prison fucking lunchroom black people will be over here the hispanic kids are sitting with them but But you know why? Because it's natural. I'm not saying, you know, whatever. Let's do it. Let's balkanize. We'll take the Ron DeSantis's of the world. You take the Maxine Waters and the Pelosi's and you run your little whatever cities. We'll take ours.

We'll see how it works out. It breaks my heart to say that because when you're a little kid, you don't know the difference. But when you get to be like in high school and shit you'll see it's just a natural you know people gravitate to their own kind which is so racist so why not get them started early why even fake it right unless you're playing football at recess then I want some black kids mixed in with my friends you know I'm saying what Well, it's racist.

No, it isn't. It's a compliment. Hey, again, become a monthly supporter at thecomicsgem.com or on Patreon to get access to the phone line and the daily encore show. Thank you guys for all the support. It's appreciated. Right here, bat shit crazy. Who's bat shit crazy? Antonio Brown, like we didn't know this. Did you see him yesterday? I can't believe people are getting

a little pissed at Tom Brady. Go, listen, man, you brought this guy in and he cuckoo. I mean, they all know it and shit, but wow, all that talent. How did they keep him under wrap so well at Pittsburgh for that long? You know, did he go off his meds? After, by the way, RIP John Madden, by the way, who I absolutely adore because when I was a kid, I liked the Raiders in the 70s because they cheated on the Patriots and I said, fuck it, I'm joining them. Anyways, RIP big John Madden and

Betty White. He fell on top of Betty White. That's how they both went this weekend. Betty White, no, people don't know how Betty White, they won't say how she died. I don't know if this is true. They said she got stabbed at a poker game that went sour. After a bizarre incident that saw Antonio Brown, excuse me,

leave Sunday's win over the New York Jets mid-game and shirtless. He ain't even that big, huh? Head coach Bruce Arians told reporters, get that crazy MF route in my house. No. Told reporters that the veteran wide receiver is no longer with the team. All right, get up. Get up. He wouldn't go back in the game.

Arians wanted him to go back in the game. He already had three catches, I think. And he just said, no, I'd be tired. I don't want a white guy telling me what to do. He is no longer a Buck, Arians said after the game. That's the end of the story. Let's talk about the guys who went out there and won the game. That's why you kind of like Arians. He wasn't welcome to fly back to Tampa with the Bucks. Oh, no, that's racist. Tom Brady, who, you know, I absolutely adore, but I think he's full of shit on this one,

who fought hard to get the Bucs to sign Brown in the first place last season, asked everyone to be compassionate and empathetic, like they haven't been. Tom, the guy's been accused of rape for like fucking, you know, 12 different people, and he's still in the league. Is that not empathetic enough? Aye, aye, aye. What if he was a cracker? Be empathetic and compassionate Aye, aye, aye. What if he was a cracker? Be empathetic and compassionate towards

him after the game. During a break in a... Everyone should be compassionate. Is that Tom or Rick Stroud? I said Tom looks all shit. Not eating his magical rice and fruits and shit. During a break in second half play, Brad abruptly took off his gear, threw

his shirt and gloves into the stands, and jogged off the field before exiting. He did some jumping jacks in the end zone and waved to the crowd before running into the tunnel. You're fucking crazy. The incident happened late in the third quarter with the Jets leading 24-10. Fox Sports' Jen Hale reported that the teammates Mike Evans and O.J. Howard.

Is that right? The fuck's O.J. Howard? Okay. Tried to soothe an upset Brown as he took off his jersey and shoulder pads. A fan in the stands recorded the video. Luckily for us, he was sitting in seat 477G. Go ahead. Hey, Tony, you're in.

Fucked it, man. They ain't prone for me for almost five minutes now. That's Evans trying to tell him to relax a little. Look at, nobody's watching the game. Somebody's waving by to him. Probably his white girlfriend. Look it. You think he got enough attention from his dad? All right, that's good. I'm pretty sure he's done as a football player.

Although I've said that before now, haven't I? I mean, like I said, he's got, how many lawsuits against him? He beats up a guy that comes to his house, one of the movers, and, you know, just a violent fucking thug. But be empathetic to him. Give him another chance. Hey, Tom, why don't you leave him in your house with Giselle by herself, like when you're on the road? That's terrible.

Good riddance, you psycho. Him and Odell Beckham ought to get a room. TV cameras then caught Brown removing his shirt and gloves. While both teams remained on the field during a break in play, Brown ran to the end zone where he performed his jumping jacks and gave the crowd a peace sign before exiting to the tunnel. Elvis has left the building. It wasn't clear immediately after the game what prompted the scene. Oh, it didn't? How about mental illness and medication he left back at the fucking Four Seasons?

seen. Oh, it didn't? How about mental illness and medication he left back at the fucking Four Seasons? Jay Glazer reports that Arians told him he told Brown to re-enter the game and he refused prior to leaving the field. Wow.

But why? But why? He was seen hitchhiking on 95. He was picked up by some Uber guy that drives around, I guess, all famous people. That's what it said. This Uber guy that drives around famous athletes and movies.

Another black dude. Antonio, what a waste, brother, man. I mean, you fucking, honestly, in his prime, he was as good as anybody. I thought he was going to break every, I didn't know he was fucking U-Bots. As the Wops like to say. Let's move on to some holiday spirit.

Jingle my balls is the headline. What kind of talk is that? Listen to this. I'm glad Tommy picked this because I was going to send it to him anyways. An upstate New York school district has pulled the classic winter tune, and I understand because this thing has been controversial, but he has jingle bells. Fucking thing's been around since my fucking father was three. Now it's controversial.

If you people don't think you have Marxists destroying this society one brick at a time, you're fucking high. What are those? Liberace's Three Nuts. Nobody know he had three nuts. That's my 10th Liberace reference. I have no idea why. There's 400 gay guys that are fucking way more current.

Anyways, they're going to pull the classic winter tune Jingle Bells from the music curriculum at an elementary school over concerns that it may have first been performed in Boston at a minstrel show in which white performers don blackface, which is true. I was there. It was me, Steve Sweeney, Lenny Clark, and that's right, 1850.

Can you imagine? Can you fucking imagine? And there's more to the story that's not in the teleprompter. Tommy, and I understand because he had to keep it short. That's what I tell him to do. But I'll fill in the blanks where it's just so fucking mad. These blanks. What?

Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. I think they don't like minstrel shows. On December 23rd, the Rochester Beacon, first of all, it's for elementary school first graders. If you never said anything, right, if no adults got involved, why would you even bring it up? Were you afraid a first grader was going to be home on his iPad and dig up some? On December 23rd, the Rochester Beacon first reported that the Brighton Central School District nixed the song from the curriculum at Council Rock Primary School. The school's principal, Matt Tappan, the word is cut off. Tappan wanted to say to the Rochester Beacon, told the Beacon via email that it was being replaced with tunes without potential to be controversial or offensive.

Look at this jerk-off. Look at this puppet. He looks like a Muppet. Nice thick head of hair on top. That's right. Leave that brat turd somebody left there. Just look at him. If you can't look at him and know how he voted, you don't get life.

Just a PC ass. This is who's running the world? This is who's in charge of your kids now? Just a PCS? This is who's running the world? This is who's in charge of your kids now? Officials with the district, including Tappan, told the outlet that the decision to remove the song was in part based upon a 2017 article

authored by Keirna Hamill, Boston University's director. Oh, boy. Oh, God. Ed Begley Jr. Junior, Junior. Look at this thing. Those glasses big enough? What are you going to do? Weld a fucking trailer hitch on your truck today? You motherfucker. Karen Hamill, Boston University's director of core curriculum. Once again, a woman who has a beef with the way our society is because she looks like fucking Anderson Cooper. She found documents showing that the song's first public

performance may have occurred in 1857. So yes, let's bring it up now. It's been fine since then, but let's make an issue of it now. Let's see if we can't suck all the joy out of these kids' lives before they're in second grade, before we start teaching them about blowjobs and he-she's. Occurred in 1857 at a Boston minstrel show. Minstrel was then a popular form of entertainment in which white actors performed in black. What do you mean? They do that now.

Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel. The Rochester Beacon reports. Good reporting. I guess you guys are living a life at a breakneck pace up there, huh? The Beacon reached out to Hamill, that's her, who said she was shocked over the district's decision. Are you guys getting this? She's the one who dug it up, and she's shocked because she doesn't,

if you want to believe her. Why would you even put that out there? You're saying you're shocked, but in 2020, you thought you could put that information out there and there would be no ramifications. So I think you're full of shit as you are ugly. I am actually quite shocked the school would remove the song from the repertoire.

I in no way recommended that it stopped being sung by chill, but that's the point. You don't have to recommend it. You know if anybody got a whiff of that. Do you know what, when you're living in, you created these policies, I can tell by your haircut. Nick, don't. The reporter shared Hamill's statements with the elementary school, which prompted a response from Allison Rue, the district's assistant superintendent of curriculum and instruction. She said, after coming out of Krispy Kreme, some suggest that the use of collars on slaves with bells to send an alert that they were running away is connected to the, and who suggested that? Flavor Flav, when he was tripping?

You know what I'm saying? Oh, did somebody suggest it? It's not even fact, you fat fuck. While we are not taking a stance to whether this is true or not, yeah, you are, yeah, you are. See what they do? They just throw words out there to pacify you.

We do feel strongly that this line of thinking thinking you mean the line of thinking that you said may have may not happen of this thinking is not in agreement with our district's beliefs values all culture and experiences of our students the guy I think it's either students. What the fuck? You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! The guy, I think, it's either her or the guy, the first guy we showed. He kept saying, or it was her, I'm sorry, I read this, you know,

at a red light on the way here. No. But they kept saying, I think it was the guy kept saying, we're not doing this because it's controversial. This isn't because we're too woke. Everything the reason they're doing it for. He just threw out all this fucking PC garbage that'll pacify most dummies out there. But thank God, I started reading the comments after, same take as me. He just threw out, he just fucking denied

everything that he just did or okayed. Jingle bells. Jingle bells. How the fuck is White Christmas still around? How is that not, you know, how is that not connected to the Klan?

Goodness gracious hell-o-ees. Jingle bells is controversial. I was writing a story about how Santa was a rapist. I guess that's not going to go in. Test, test. Hey, listen up, guys. I've added three new tour dates so all of you people in Arizona and Texas and North Carolina can come out and see some real comedy finally.

Here goes, and you can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. January 14 and 15, I believe that's a week from this weekend. Yikes. I'll be at CB Live, Phoenix, Arizona. Then check this out. We will be doing this show, the podcast, in front of a live audience on Thursday, January 27th in Raleigh, North Carolina at Good Nights. The next two nights, January 28th and 29th, I'll be at Good Nights in Raleigh performing stand-up. February 3rd, Sugarloaf Performing Arts

Center in Chester, New York. That was my nickname, Sugarloaf. February 4th, Algonquin Arts Theater in Manasquan, New Jersey. February 5th, Governor's Comedy Club. I miss my old people at Governor's, one of my favorite clubs, Jimmy, in Levittown on February 5th. And then in March, I'll be in Texas. March 25th at Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas. And March 26th at Hyena's Comedy Club in Fort Worth, Texas. And lastly, I'll be back in the, wait a minute, Northeast in April, April 7th through 9th. Comics. I don't believe it because this is the fifth time I've read this one at Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, Connecticut. That's if the country's not shut down because all you pussies actually believe in this shit,

not you guys, people who hate this show. Again, you can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. This tickled my funny bone, pizza punishment. A former high school football player wants $4 million. I wonder how they came up with that number. And legal damages after his coaches allegedly forced him to eat pizza covered in pork. That's a punishment? What next, pussy?

From, I don't know, Jacqueline Smith. Wait, she's 80. Still fucker. Okay, they made him eat this pizza. Covered in pork. We call it pepperoni. But, you know. But listen to this.

It's very interesting. The apparent pizza punishment, by the way, in my world, there's no such thing as pizza punishment, levied because the student missed a mandatory weightlifting session, violated the student's religious beliefs, he claimed in federal court papers. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. The student identified only as KW.

Oh my God, he's a black Hebrew Israelite. Now I know what KW stands for, kill whitey. Black Israelites, nobody hates white people more. Matter of fact, you remember Nick Sandman, the Covington kid? They were being verbally abused by black Israelites and all that shit started, by the way. And I lived in New York City for years. Every time in Times Square, you'd walk down, they would be literally on soapboxes screaming that you're going to fucking die, you're a white pig, and nice people. Does that mean he's that way? Yeah. Sure, I'm taking a leap of faith.

Anyways, K.W. Kill White, he's a black Hebrew-Israelite. A faith which forbids consuming pork or pork residue. Pork residue. Sounds disgusting. Sounds like a horrible

religion, you can't have pork. Especially if you're black. That's blasphemous. According to the litigation filed in Ohio. Black Israelites. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Finish that pizza, you

fucking cocksucker. KW was a starter on the football team at McKinley High School in Canton, Ohio. But after he skipped a mandatory weightlifting session, he was confronted with a large pepperoni pizza, the suit says. Again, this makes me hard to read. Head coach, Marcus Watley, there's your answer. The brothers don't play with their coaches. They still think it's 1940. You can

punch a kid in the face. Well, that's not true. Actually, Bobby Knight was the same way. Marcus Watley, who has since been fired, and other district employees allegedly forced KW to sit alone in a chair in a gym as 30-odd teammates lifted weights and sprinted in a circle around him. Let's take a look at this. We first brought you this story back in May when coaches are said to have forced the player to eat pepperoni pizza for missing a weight class. Why is there a white kid standing next to him? The player is a practicing Hebrew Israelite,

which bans pork consumption. The coaches involved were fired back in June. Oh, for the love of Pete. Oh, my God, if I could only be punished like that. I would miss every weightlifting session. K.W. was told if he didn't eat the whole pizza, oh, my God, again, that would be easy for me. His future on the team would be in jeopardy.

Oh, boy, I bet you that's bumming him out. He claimed in court papers his teammates, who were not allowed to stop their exercise until he finished, allegedly threatened him, he charged, which I do believe. I remember Mark Bavaro busted into a train. I can say this because it's been in public. When we were in high school, my senior year, him and his kid Bedrosian, they were best friends.

They broke into an old train that sat on the tracks in my town, and they stole, I don't know, about 400 cases of Budweiser, and they were selling them out of it. And anyways, opening practice of double sessions at you, we had to run gassers, like, I don't know, 10 gassers. And nobody said anything to Bavaro. We're like, no problem. I needed the wind. Anyways, after his religious objections, KW was allowed to remove the pepperoni, but the pork grease residue was still on the pie.

Of course it is. That's the flavor. Of course it is. That's the flavor. That's him after he finished the last slice. After he ate the pizza, the coaches forced him to, that's gross, right up and down the football field and practice duck walks. Can they eat ducks? Said the student who later switched schools. If it's true, I don't blame you, kid, but you're hateful. If you're

a black Israelite, I have very little sympathy. He's seeking $3 million in compensatory damages and $1 million in punitive damages. Whatley and other coaches have denied the allegations. In July, the coaches filed a defamation suit against the family and the school district, the Canton repository reported. Well, of course you're going to do that. What, are you going to just admit it? Yeah, they're right. You have to do that, don't you? And finally tonight, let's go, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon. NASCAR Xfinity Series driver Brandon Brown announced on Thursday a sponsorship deal with cryptocurrency. I don't know what it is. I'm not interested. Okay. I try to listen to Glenn Beck talk about other people, and I'll just stick to stealing shit. Sponsorship deal with cryptocurrency meme coin,

LGB coin, a reference to the controversial let's go Brandon phrase. Now NASCAR is reviewing the deal. First of all, Brandon, if you remember, said when this, you guys remember he was being interviewed and they were saying fuck Joe Biden

and the chick for NBC said, oh, let's go, Brandon. That's how it all started. He said in many interviews after that, I'm not political. I don't want any part of this. Oh, but now he wants it on his car because somebody's offering him Scarracchila, which is American. I'm just saying, don't be a hypocrite. Now NASCAR is reviewing the deal. Of course. Son of a whore! Of course they're reviewing it. Why? Well, because it's saying, fuck you, Biden, is what it means.

They have to play to the three woke people that follow NASCAR. That's what's creepy. According to Max Marcucci, a spokesperson for Brown's team, NASCAR gave the team written approval on the sponsorship and paint scheme late last year and said the team went through the usual sponsorship approval process. But once again, because this involves a Democrat president or whatever the fuck, we have to squash it. whatever the fuck, we can't, you know, we have to squash it. And that hairdo.

Marcucci said NASCAR called following the announcement and acknowledged to the team that it had received approval and apologized for any confusion and miscommunication, but said that the deal needs to be reviewed at a higher level. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. Of course it does. How many, anything I've ever wanted in life and showbiz, I've had that conversation

with my agent or manager. No, you got it. They just have to have somebody look at it. Then Wendy Wasserstein says, no, he's too angry. Those are all my auditions. According to Thursday's press release, Brown will sport an eye-catching

red, white, and blue livery. What the hell does that mean? Is it livery? The fuck does that mean? Okay, a red, white, and blue livery with the logo and wordmark of LGB coin abroad. His number 68 Chevrolet Camaro for all 33 races of the NX season. Brown posted a video of the car on social media. She's a beaut.

If I'm another racer, I'm going to put fuck Joe Biden and become the most popular. They're not going to say, they'll say you can't do that. So what I'll do is I'll hide it somehow. I'll let my fucking team figure that out. And then in the halfway through the race, I'll press a button and whatever's covering, yeah, whatever's covering this slogan will fly off.

And wouldn't it be great if he does this and he wins the race? James Catullus, leading holder of LGB coin and founder of Typhoon Capital, man who was said in the release, we are proud to support Brandon this season to help, we know how he voted,

to help him continue his American dream. If we do our job right, when you think of us and you hear let's go Brandon, everybody's just choosing us as a market. You'll think and feel let's go America. I like the way you think. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Oh, Joe, let's go America. I like the way you think. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Oh, Joe, go back to bed.

Nothing to do with you. That's hilarious. I want to thank you people for contributing to the show. Nathan Standeloff, Australia. God bless you. Hang tough in there. Paul Sagnella, of course, of Connecticut. Chandler Foley of Tejas.

That's Texas. Miles, I think it's DuPont, Connecticut. James Cunningham of Hawaii. Austin Pardee, Nevada. Sean Powell, Florida. Oystein Nysether, Norway. Patrick Young, California. New monthly supporters, ladies and gentlemen.

Tyler Moore, as in Mary, Ohio. Kyle Flipsky, New York. Derek Poma, New York. Vincent Primavera, New York. Edwin Morrell, New Hampshire. Because I said so. That's all it says. Aaron Johnson, thank you guys for being contributors on whether it's daily, monthly, weekly, but sign up on the monthly thing. Let's get this show blown up, man. I'm working too hard. Do I have to have a fucking doctor on like a virologist? That is it.

Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, nickdiff.com, and cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person. I'll make a video on my phone, and we'll ruin the day. It's so much fun. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome.

We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.