The Nick DiPaolo Show - UN Pro Pedophilia | Nick Di Paolo Show #1386

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about AI threatening jobs, a FL woman ripping off a Holocaust survivor and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 that's when it just clicked in my mind that if you just run through somebody's face a lot of people ain't going to be able to take that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Marshawn Lynch proving once again America is the most racist country on the planet, doing subway commercials and all other kinds of stuff. Multi-million dollars. Can't talk. What do you want me to say?

Love him, though. Made one of the greatest runs in the history of the NFL, I don't know, 10 years ago in a playoff game. 10, 15, could be 20. I don't know anymore. Jesus Christ,

he must have broke 19 tackles. This was a run, about an 80-yard run. You guys know what I'm talking about if you're heterosexual. All right. And not watching girls field hockey, which, if you want to see nice asses, NCAA college girls softball.

Yes, some of them look like Yogi Berra. But there's some... My mom's fucking pants fit beautifully. I sound like a girl talking about football. I like the wacky. Okay, I get it. All right. Sound like Joe Pesci in Goodfellow.

I know, take it easy. I don't want to kiss a Nat King Cole of it. All right, folks, let's get to the goddamn, well, I had a good time, by the way, in St. Louis. Thanks for coming out, both in St. Charles and the Funny Bone in St. Louis. Appreciate it very much. Nothing like meeting the fans and greeting the fans and whatnot. The only hard part of the trip was sitting on the plane on my ass.

Why? Because before I left, I had those testosterone capsules put in that I have every four months. And no, it's not an anabolic steroid. Yes, testosterone is a steroid, not anabolic. When you get to my age, you have the, you know, you have the testosterone level of Dylan Mulvaney, if you're lucky. Anyways. Yeah, so I got those done last week. I come home.

First of all, I get them from my wife's OBGYN, and he's a funny guy. Southern, he won't watch my show because I curse too much. And he says to me, I don't mind the cursing. It's taking the Lord's name in vain. And then Andy told me in a few comments, that's the only thing, like, Crowder's fans, like, I think they're real conservatives, don't like me saying goddamn or, you know, whatever.

And I'm sorry, folks. I've been saying that since first grade. I am the devil. I'll try as much as I want your patronage. That's the least offensive shit that comes out of my mouth, but not to you, because you actually believe in something. So do I. I'm on the fence. I don't know. I'm trying. Trust me. I'm trying my best. But that surprised me. I'm saying the C word, the J word. That's the one that triggered

him. Anyhow, so yeah, he goes, that's why I can't listen. He goes, I know you're funny as hell, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I go, dude, I sit in the waiting room. I go, you got a nine out there fucking waiting for you. He goes, what's that? What's that? It's the number nine, jerk-off. I i go she's a nine on a scale of ten like a woman in her 40s in a sundress southern though you know um and he's there yeah you don't

see that he goes you don't see the 12 threes that come in and then i go i he goes how you feel like i go i want to lose weight i said i i want to freaking lose go, he goes, how are you feeling? I go, I want to lose weight. I said, I want to frigging lose weight. And he goes, why? What are you eating? And I just used a line from one of my old jokes. I go, pussy and Skittles. And without missing a beat, without missing a beat, he goes,

he goes, less Skittles, more pussy. Coming out of a gynecologist. And I always bust his balls. I go, you, I said, this is the biggest scam ever. Don't even tell me, out of all the shit you could have majored in, that this isn't about looking at. But then again, I see some elephants coming in that you'd have to, at gunpoint, I wouldn't. Never mind going in there with a rib spreader.

I'll just see as a fucking bunch of donuts piled up in her pussy. All right, a fat baby. I don't know. I don't know how the body works. So anyways, and he goes, you got to do the South Beach diet. And I go, oh, stop. And I know them all, folks.

I've read and, you know, I've read. So I know Keto doesn't. And he's right, though. So he lost 35 pounds. But he also gets a ton of energy because he puts the capsules. I told you how that works. They cut a, they make an incision in your ass cheek. They stick a straw in. It's like loading a musket. And then he pushes the, it's like he pushes the capsules. I have like seven or eight. And then he sews you up. And I told you the first time I sprung a leak,

bled right through my pants and shit. So last week I have it done. But after I'm home, I go, I sit on the toilet, I get up and there's blood on the seat. My wife has to re-tape me like a hockey player who just got high stick. Anyways, yeah, so I've actually been dieting, and I've been actually sticking to it for four days so far. Anyways, you know.

Until that pizza oven comes calling. No, you son of a bitch. I blocked it off with plywood. I said, do not enter. All right, let's get to it. Sorry, folks, but I like to shoot the shit at the beginning of the show. Just what they tell you not to do when you're doing a radio show. Come out hard-hitting.

So every time they're going to go, what's he going to say about this? Yeah, shut up. It's the internet. Go blow yourself. Anyways, a huge threat. What is a huge threat? AI is a huge threat. No kidding.

Oh, yeah, sure. That's what they're saying. Google CEO Sundar Pichal, or Pickle as I call him, the smart pickle. He just looks brainy, don't he? Admitted Sunday, that's his son. Can you imagine being so smart? You're the fucking head of Google. We'll need to, he's not a big fan of mine, will need to prepare for rapid advancements, he said, in artificial intelligence that are poised to unsettle the job market, that's putting it lightly, and exacerbate safety concerns. And then he said this.

But you don't have opening? No. But why not? Why? Because your AI took all the jobs. Look, Gutfeld's big on this, and a lot of people. It's going to destroy society. They're going to turn on us. I didn't get it.

I always said I'm not scared of anything you can kill with a bucket of water or whatever. I know that's a simplified, but now I get it with the, with what it's going to do is blur my take, is going to blur the line between reality and, you know, deep fakes and all that. Nevermind taking your job. We already know that's going to happen. But how about when they put a, you know,

put a clip up there of Putin saying, we're going to blow you up in five minutes or Trump saying it, and nobody can tell the, that's how we're going to, that I believe in. By the way, I had better grades than him. He sat next to me and, okay, there's an age difference. Fuck off. In an interview with CBS's 60 Minutes, that's still on the air. On Sunday night, Pakal Pekal called for new regulations to govern AI,

even as Elon Musk and others call for an outright pause on the... Let me tell you something. When people as smart as Elon Musk are sweating their balls off, okay, I'm in him, but he doesn't want to slow it down, this prick. He wants to ride this into the sunset.

Development of advanced AI systems due to safety concerns. This is him... Talk about a fucking left-wing, pompous-ass, pretentious show. Sick. Watch Scott play. Hmm.

He always bites his glasses and shit. Here's what Mr. Pakal has to, and nobody knows more about this than him, has to say about AI. What do you compare AI to in the course of human civilization? You know, I've always thought of AI as the most profound technology humanity is working

on. More profound than fire or electricity or anything that we've ever done. The toaster oven? Why so? Pause. Why so? Let me bite my fucking glasses to show just how deep I am and how I'm intent on taking in all this knowledge from this guy

who's 50 times smarter than all. Go ahead, bite your glasses, you dink. Go ahead, snap ahead. It gets at the essence of what intelligence is, what humanity is. We are developing technology, which for sure one day will be far more capable than anything we've ever seen before. will be far more capable than anything we've ever seen before. Ah! He says, I think we have to be very thoughtful, Bacala said, and I think these are all things society needs to figure out as we move along. How about before we move along? He says it's not for a company

to decide. Well, you guys are coming up with this shit. So put a rain on it. It's like having a pit bull in your front yard. Hey, you know, it bites a neighbor. Hey, it's not, I can't control it. Well, you better. We're only talking about humanity destroying. I mean, between this and Biden, do we have a chance folks Jesus Pakal shocked 60 minutes anchor Scott Pelley which anybody can do show him a fucking donut with sprinkles on it he'll go mad with a number of bold proclamations about AI's potential applications declaring that it would affect every product

across every company. Can't wait to see my wife's new vibrator, what that thing does. In the near future, and even admitting at one point that Google did not fully understand all aspects of its own systems. Danger, Will Robinson.

What the fuck? Danger, no, Will Robinson. Pakai said, oh, that's an I at the end. It's an L to me. I can't. I'm saying Pekal. It's Pekai. I can't.

Folks, Pekai said advanced artificial intelligence was mostly to cause job losses among so-called knowledge workers. Well, it rules us out. Such as writers. was mostly to cause job losses among so-called knowledge workers. Well, it rules us out. Such as writers, accountants, architects, and software engineers. Holy shit. I would think they would be in the thick of it, the software engineers. Good. Fuck them. They've had it too good for too long.

Confusing. Make my life a mess. The response prompted Pelley to shit his pants again and start crying like a little girl. Pelley to question how Google could turn it loose on society. That's actually a good question. Without a total understanding of that technology, and of course

Picard said, That's a sick question you're sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it to which Peli said to him problem you're the fucking problem you fucking dr. white on King Jam rag arkin spunk bubble I'm telling you H you keep looking at me I'm gonna put you in the fucking ground I promise you you. Not this time. AI will impact everything, Pekai said. For example, you could be a radiologist.

If you think about five to ten years from now, you're going to have an AI collaborator with you. You come in the morning. Let's say you have a hundred things to go through. It may say, these are the most serious cases you need to look at first. I could have a wife for that. Fucking artificial intelligence. The contrast is on full display through the recent actions of billionaire Elon Musk, who recently warned that AI has the potential for civilization destruction. Even as he launched, what's he know?

He's like a C student. He launches his own AI startup that will directly compete with chat GPT. Oh, my aching stem. This is getting frightening, ain't it, folks? And, you know, they showed him, Mr. Pelley, read, I don't know, it was from a famous author, pick one, Hemingway, whoever, and it was something about baby shoes. People have to be laughing out. It was just one sentence, and he wanted that explained by AI. It spit back an explanation, like, in five seconds. Again, Pelley started crying, and they had to take a break.

But it's pretty. And at the beginning of the show, they show a guy playing ping pong with a mechanical. Isn't that great? So the Olympics will be gone, and Chinese people are in danger. I don't know what I'm saying. Anyways. Yeah, it is kind of chilling when you think about it. Gottfeld was all over that shit,

fucking convinced it would destroy the world and a lot of other smarter people. I personally said, look, come on. I keep picturing, you know, I keep picturing the robot on the Jetsons. By the way, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about the UN, who is trying to apparently legalize pedophilia all over the world. It's crazy, man. And another story about an elderly black rapper, E-40, who got thrown out of a

playoff game of the NBA a few days back. And he says it's because he was arguing with a white woman and he was treated differently. So you know my take on that. All right? It's exclusive on the Mug Club.

So join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. Appreciate it. No, no, no, no! In our FLA segment tonight. This was a story. Like I said, the headlines are getting darker every day. And if you believe in that M-A-M-K Ultra

and all that stuff, one of the tools they use is to turn up bad stories, like flood you with them to give you this doom and gloom. I feel like we're in one of those right now. Each, folks, there's so many stories I skip over. It's nothing but violence and cruelty. I mean, mother. I read about a mother choking her son to death, strangling him. And you know what her reason was? I mean mother, I read about a mother choking her son to death, strangling him.

And you know what her reason was? I didn't want him to be subjected to our financial problems. I'm pretty sure that might have been another option, you dumb bitch. I read about sex trafficking, girls, porn. I mean, and just Sweet 16 birthday in Alabama. 20-something people shot, four dead or something. One of them was a star athlete. There was another mass shooter.

I can't even remember them. It is so dark out there. I don't know. You guys know. Anyways, let's lighten it up with this story. This ought to make you laugh. A heartless Florida woman admitted to scamming an 87-year-old Holocaust survivor she met on a dating site out of a jaw-dropping $2.8 million, federal prosecutors announced.

Oh, my God. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? What the hell? Yeah, money! What the hell? First of all, this should jump out at you. Even if you're not a comedian, this is how I think.

My first question is, what is an 87-year-old Holocaust survivor doing on a dating app? What the hell? I'd like to see that profile. Fucking looking through a barbed wire fence. Fucking ribs like a Great Dane. Oh my god. That's horrible.

Hobbies, intermittent fasting, and 87 and he's like, oh my god. hobbies, intermittent fasting. Well, 87 and he's a, oh my God. Relationship status, complicated. Peaches, Sturgos. First of all, here's a rule for all men, whether you're single, oh God, that's peaches?

Is that peach? Looks just like a kid I went to high school with with a wig on. Fat Greek kid. Oh, look at that. Look at that second chin. She's got two smiles. Fat shit. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. Take it easy. Take it easy. Oh, my God. Peaches, you don't go out with anybody. Any girl named Peaches.

Unless it's a hot stripper, but any Peaches that's not on the poll, pass up. They're crazy. Peaches Sturgos, year-long fraud, cost the elderly victim his life savings. What a piece of shit. His life savings while she lived a life of luxury. Boy, are we morally corrupt and bankrupt in this country. You read about this. I don't care. It transcends race, color. Folks, we are rotting from the inside. Lived a life of luxury. Oh, I must have read four stories about female teachers banging their boy student. I don't have a problem with that.

I really don't. It doesn't destroy them, and it's not rape. Shut the fuck up. Anyways, it's a notch in your belt as a kid. Live the life of luxury that included, obviously, little Debbies on a conveyor belt. Fat fuck. Included a house in a gated community, a Corvette, lavish vacations, pints of heavy cream, birthday cake, lasagna upper ass.

Designer items include Rolex watches. What a shallow, fat whore. Good combination. The U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York said Friday in a news release. You fucking whore. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Don't eat it. In total, the victim signed off on 62 checks totaling almost $3 million that went right into Sturgos' coffers and ultimately lost his apartment from the romance scam.

A guy who survived the Holocaust. Starting in early... The other thing that's amazing, there's still people around that survived the Holocaust. To me, that's sort of... I know there's deniers, but that proves how horrific that it's still in our...

It's not that far away, the 40s. Right? Doesn't it seem like it was so horrible? We talk about it like it happened. It's fucking creepy. I don't know. Starting in early 2017, after a 36-year-old woman met the man on a dating site, she asked the victim to borrow money to pay her lawyer,

who she said refused to fork over funds from an injury settlement. So she got the idea from, you know who, Avenatti and Stormy, according to the Fed. She claimed the funds were put into a TD Bank account, but evidence indicates she never received a cent from a supposed injury settlement. I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. He still has a good voice. Over the next four and a half years, Sturgo's web of lies steadily continued draining the Holocaust survivor

of his final pennies. How dare she? Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker. Can you imagine her talking like that? What a piece of shit. Sturgo pleaded guilty to one count of wire fraud, faces up to 20 years in prison.

She was also ordered to pay $2.8 million in restitution and eat matzah the rest of her life, and forfeit the same amount, including the more than 100 luxury items she just soulless bought, including designer clothes, purses, and lots of jewelry. That's lots of jewelry. Peaches Sturgos stole the life savings from an 87-year-old Holocaust survivor who was just looking for companionship. Again, on a dating site? Go to the synagogue, play the piano, fucking local theater, do, you know what, fiddler on the

roof. If I were a rich man. Exactly. This conduct is sick and sad, U.S. Attorney Damian Williams said in a statement. thanks to the hard work of the FBI and this office, Sturgos is being held accountable for her fraud. Send it to the fucking fat firm. Bye-bye, dickhead. What a horrible story. How dare you? She'll be sentenced on July 27th.

Well, finally she'll lose some weight. She'll be the only one that finds prison food delicious. What are these? Maggots in my rice? Maggots in my rice. Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of this show.

Everyone else, go to nickdopaloshow.com and to get my full show, and not only mine, but Steven Crowder's and a bunch more. And while you're there, get tickets to see me at Daytona Beach, May 12th, the Daytona Beach Resort. And then Arlington, Virginia at the Draft House, July 14th and 15th. Hope to see you there, kids. I really does. guitar solo Bye.