The Nick DiPaolo Show - UN Wants Woke AI | Nick Di Paolo Show #1419

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump owing no reparations,  Idaho wants no FBI,  and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 You know you want crazy motherfucking WAP, man. Only half. Okay, don't pick on the other half, huh? How are you, folks? Welcome. Welcome to the show. On our filthy Wednesday, we got our air conditioning back.

Thank the bejesus. Dallas was in here editing. It hit 97. 97. And I still have yet to see him sweat. I think he has... He has fucking Prestone in his veins. Some type of coolant. Know what I'm saying?

Again, though, since I've moved down here, I got to tell you, I've experienced one brutal week of heat, really. And the rest of it, like I said, nothing was worse. I've lived everywhere, if you want to call three cities everywhere. Been everywhere. I'm a world traveler. Buffalo, Newark, Schenectady.

The fucking heat in New York was the worst. Because of the buildings and the cement, it just retained it and there's no breeze because of the build. The humidity was like Vietnam. It fucking to this day.

I remember a cab driver guzzling in front of me. He had this much left in a gallon of water. He goes, I drank this in the last three hours. I haven't pissed today. Then I said, wash your ass. What country are you from? Because boy, do they stank. That was one of my first jokes when I went to New York.

Cab driver stunk so much, I looked at a picture on his license, he's holding his own nose. That's where a sponsor got to. Listen. Ba-da-ba-ba-dum, ba-da-be-da-bum. What else? Oh, a house next to me is having a roof put on, and the one across the street is having a roof put on, because the guy owns both of them.

And again, I finally get done with noise at my house. I can listen to this for the next couple of weeks and my stupid fucking mutt of a dog barks every time a truck pulls up or somebody picks up a hammer. So I'm putting that thing to sleep on Friday. It's about that time. She's at that age, like two. Not really old. Just annoying. So, hey, Nick, watch the mic. Anyhow, what else?

Red Sox could beat 10-1 last night. You're fucking, oh, P.U. We know Chris Sales out. He should just retire. And Tanner Houck gets hit with a line drive a couple weeks ago. He's got to have a plate put in his face so he might not be back He should just retire. And Tanner Houck gets hit with a line drive a couple weeks ago. He's got to have a plate put in his face so he might not be back or he might be back. We don't know.

Travis Story's still bugging out. And the rest of them stink. Whitman's our best pitcher. Whitlock, I mean. Whitman. Mr. Whitman, the principal. Whitlock, and he got beat 10-1. He got slapped.

Miami. Anyway, you guys don't care. I don't either. Look at me. I'm in good shape right now. I haven't taken a dump since the 4th of June, but don't worry about that. I heard it's good for you. Let that meat fester. All right, let's get on with it. I got nothing else. I do, but I can't remember. You guys, when I wake up, I'm like, here's a couple things I can mention on the show. By the time I get here,

did I tell you I got in the car holding the remote, the TV remote? Found my glasses in the fridge. I'm kind of laughing, but I'm not, because this is shit people with dementia actually do. My dad, we had a, my dad had Alzheimer's, but we also had a friend who had Alzheimer's, and his

wife told my mother, after dinner, he'd go over to the toilet with his plate and scrape it and thinking, you gotta admit, you must have had some laughs. I don't give a fuck. My father would laugh at that, though. Let's get on with it. This is so ironic, and I love it. Trump, Donald Trump,

only president, I think, out of all of them. I don't know if I read it right. All the living ones. Oh, shit. I'm guessing the ones that are dead The Taft's and the first 40 must have owned slow, right? We know Jefferson and all those Washington old Hank Trump only living president that owes no reparations I love it. He was the best guy around but the fact that I missed the first one? Reuters published an extensive analysis of U.S. leaders' family trees. Tuesday, finding that some had ancestors who owned slaves. Yeah, we all know that.

The fucking school academia reminds kids 40 times a week. It's their favorite go-to as far as why the United States is the worst country ever. Five living presidents, two Supreme Court justices, 11 governors, and 58 NFL referees descended from ancestors. They descended from ancestors who enslaved black people. The roughly 7,000 word examination begins. Among the living presidents, Donald Trump was the, I didn't believe this. I'll go on. Donald Trump was the sole outlier without family ties to slave ownership. He was the best guy around. Can you imagine the one that they fucking say is the biggest racist ever?

It's hilarious. He can go, fuck you, look at your roots. Look at my... It's hilarious. He's almost been pure as the driven snow. Oh, what about all his lying? About what? The number of people at his inauguration? What are you fucking talking about? It's Russian collusion ring a bell and 19 other things? Fucking A. Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter, that doesn't surprise me from Georgia. Look at my great-great-grandfather. He's an old slave.

I think Rosalind might have blown one of them. What? Cut. Good old Jimmy is still alive, by the way. He went into hospice six months ago. Anyways, Jimmy Carter, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton. Sure, sure my family owns some blacks. Why not? Barack Obama, which is hilarious.

He's going to owe reparations and Trump's not. Put that in your fucking joint and smug it. And Joe Biden. That's how I know the list is bogus. They said living presidents. That's a joke. He's dead. Okay.

Ah, look at him. Are we on the couple? Ah. I had one of them wash my vet. Ah. We're all found to have ancestors who engage in the horrific practice it wasn't that it's still going on today by the way you know that don't you and not in white countries uh glenn beck published research on joe biden's family ties to slave ownership on his father's side in 2020

beck's examination also included uh extensive documentation jo. Joe Biden is another great example. Here's a man that worked with segregationists, but is somehow exempt of cancellation. exact opposite of what the left is now proposing, like defunding the police and killing the police. How many black Americans were sent to prison because of that law that Biden had his hands in? Again, I ask, why is he exempt? How can Joe Biden look black people in the face and tell them they aren't really black if they don't vote for him? You listening?

Yeah, I am. Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. Got that, Joe? You got that? Donald Trump. Would Donald Trump be allowed to say that? Beck said at the time

with his tongue so far on his cheek. It looked like he was blowing a porn star. According to Reuters, I like to call it Reuters, research, 100 of the 117th Congress, 100, 536 members descended from slaveholders. That includes more than a quarter of the Senate.

Who cares? Are we ever going to let it fucking go? Are we ever? Who cares? This country was founded by rich white guys, four rich white people. So don't be surprised a couple hundred years later if we still have some power in the game. They cannot wait to get fucking whitey out of the way. Just watch the commercials. It's hilarious. ESPN has a new show coming out where baseball is talked in new terms. It cuts to a black guy, a woman, an Asian chick. Leaders highlighted in the piece include Senator Lindsey Graham. Oh, boy.

Rep Nancy Mace, Republican, South Carolina. Senator Tammy Duckworth. She's a lefty from Illinois. And they all owned, their family owned, you know, slaves. So a little music for the story. Reuters examination is the first of its kind, the outlet says, in their research of America's political elites. They tap several resources, including the record linking lab at Brigham Young University in Utah, including the record-linking lab at Brigham Young University in Utah,

digitized state archive books at the Library of Congress, and the Daughters of the American Revolution Library. Boy, are they wild boards. Public records requests, and a whole lot more. So it's all documented, and he's not making it up, okay? Hey, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about, this made me laugh, there's a big wheelchair scam going on now that I predicted years ago at airports. And I might be to blame for it, I'll tell you why.

And the UN, they're going to design the AI and they're going to make it really woke. In other words, Whitey, say bye-bye, anybody to the right. That's creepy. You think it's PC now and shit? If this happens? Anyways, it's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdipaloshow.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to NickDip.com and click on Store.

Again, that's NickDip.com. Click on Store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Unbelievable. That one creeps me out, the UN. Boy, what a useless organization. I'm explaining it to some of my friends. I go, it's not even left, right. I said, yes, I talk about it. I'll play the game. But again, there's 12 people that run the planet and Biden and even the United States gets their marching orders. And somebody wants this to be a third world shithole. And they're well on their way. You got to admit they're

executing it beautifully. Let's move on. Idaho wants to say bye bye to the FBI. Who's not for that? I'm definitely for it. Huh? Dallas says he's not for it. Dallas loves the FBI. He says that one of, we're talking about, he says one of the most honest groups there is. I disagree. Fuck it. And it's always been corrupt for a long time, actually. Last Friday, it's... When did it come about, anyway? Last Tuesday?

Last Friday and Saturday, members of the Idaho GOP met for its summer meeting in, it looks like, Chalice, Idaho, in the middle of the state, which is 200 miles northeast of Boise. I don't know why they told me that. The fuck, am I building a duplex there? Anyway, it's a beautiful state, which is 200 miles northeast of Boise. I don't know why they told me that. The fuck, am I building a duplex there? Anyway, it's a beautiful state, actually. So that's why, and what's scary? You think Idaho, you think Iowa. There's more Mexicans

there than here in Savannah. Nothing wrong with that, but I'm just saying there's meat plants and shit, and I'm just saying. I think they like our country. They have no problem with that. But I'm just saying, when you think Idaho, years ago you didn't think that. You thought nice white pussy. What?

During the meeting, members discussed 26 proposed resolutions, including resolution 223-52. That's a good one. In the idaho republican state central committee what the hell is that how many committees and formally condemns they formally condemn the fbi the resolution lists a series of egregious civil rights violations dating back to the 50s i had

no problem with that what What which the FBI has allegedly committed, those alleged violations include illegally surveilling, infiltrating, and disrupting civil rights activists in the 60s. Well, that Black Panthers were kind of dangerous and shit, and they really were an enemy of this country. Now it's full circle. The FBI is targeting political opponents and other individuals considered a threat to national security. Does that sound familiar? Remember sieging a cabin in Ruby Ridge, Idaho in 1992. I'm old enough to remember when this went down on the news. An incident which resulted in the unnecessary deaths of Vicki and Sammy Weaver and Uncle Charles. You remember him on the... You don't, do you?

Charlie Weaver was a guy on Hollywood Squares. He had red suspenders. He was an old guy with a white mustache. They used to give him good lines, too. Why did I tell people that? I don't give a shit. I liked him. I had a poster of him in my bedroom. What? No you didn't. Vicky and Sammy Weaver as well as U.S. Marshal. He died too due to excessive use of force and revised rules of engagement. Excuse me. A family dog was also killed in the incident.

Glad they brought that up. I mean, it's a story. Oh, they still have the audio. That's what happens when you grind up a light bulb and put it in the elbow. That's the dog pooping. What? Engaging in a standoff with Branch Davidian Compound, we all remember this, in 1993, Waco, Texas.

A standoff which ended in the violent deaths of 76 people, 25 of whom were children. This is the FBI, folks. Okay? And like the Branch Davidian, like a cult is a threat to... But kids were being molested and shit. Okay, take them to court and do whatever. Burn down the joint. Surveilling the presidential campaign of former President Donald Trump.

Remember when the FBI did that and nobody believed him? And all you jerk-offs on the left, he's lying. Nobody did anything. And phones weren't tabbed but remember all that shit uh essentially entrapping the defendants remember in the alleged plot to kidnap michigan governor gretchen whitmer remember they said there was a group of white guys that kidnapped her when they they were entrapped into it i didn't think they didn't even get charged for it. Again, FBI with its filthy fingers all over it. God.

And Whitmer. I was disappointed that it really didn't happen. They could have disposed of her. She's a little whore. Oh, is she ever. You tell me. Participating. How about the FBI participating in the January 6th incident at the Capitol?

Remember? It's the boy. Not too obvious. If. Remember? Boy, not too obvious. If you watch the clips, they're opening doors. Well, you saw the shaman being escorted by a couple of Capitol police. They weren't the FBI. The FBI was outside going over here, opening gates and doors,

and the left still denies it. Attempting to intimidate pro-lifers. They do that all the time. And parents attending local school board meetings. Remember that guy's daughter got molested by like a transit in a school bathroom, and he goes to the school board meeting, and he's yelling about it, and the cops tackle him. I'm just saying, the FBI, you know, they're monitoring you. Biden had a Catholic, Christians are dangerous. Monitoring the worship and behaviors of a Catholic

Latin mass community. Can you imagine while terrorists pour into the border and unlist, in raiding Trump's Mar-a-Lago residence at the unethical, politically motivated behest of Attorney General Merrick Garland,

who the fuck, how he's still at work and not in jail is beyond me. Oh, that's right. He's a Democrat. He works for Biden. But who the fuck do you think you are? Exactly. Who the fuck do you think you are? Kevin Bacon. Because of the FBI's long history of misconduct, the Idaho Republican State Central Committee demanded in the resolution that FBI begin implementing significant reform

measures so that the agency operates within the confines of the Constitution and respects the right of American citizens if such reforms are possible. And the FBI responded with, yeah, we'll get right on it. Give me a second. Such reforms are impossible. The committee support, if they can't implement those things, the committee supports abolishing this corrupt government agency yay for Idaho and the GOP in Idaho I think I have more juice than they do when it comes to federal I don't I don't know how it works I skipped government I was doing important things up at UMaine chasing fat girls from Lewiston. Somebody's got to.

Cow pushing. Same thing. It was. I had so much fun up there. People say, well, best four years of my life. And that was anyways. Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdapalashow.com and join to get my full show

and Steven Crowder's and a whole lot more. And while you're there, you can click on my tour button on my website and it'll tell you that I'm going to be in Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia on July 14th and the 15th, which will be here when I blink. guitar solo Outro Music