The Nick DiPaolo Show - Unarmed Civilians As Traffic Cops? | Nick Di Paolo Show #1400

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about more west coast stupidity, a birth gone wrong and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fucking thing sucks.

Can't tell me Biden doesn't do that 40 times a day. Just trying to get a zipper under. Why do I enjoy that so much? How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. Another lovely show. Again, End Times. Actually, the name of the show.

End Times with Nick DiPaolo. Not the letter N. That would have been a great name. Colin, he came up with it for a segment. Well, we did, right? The N-word? Do I still have that? No, you haven't done that in a long time.

What the? Write them all down for me, will you? Seriously. I know we got like five, but I can't remember. Yeah, that would have been a good name for the show. The N-word. As in Nick, folks. Don't get all poo-poo-cocka-poo-poo. Know what I'm saying? Beautiful. All right. Real quick update. I like to keep you guys, you know,

we pride ourselves on breaking news. You all know about the excuse me, Jordan Ailey, the mentally ill homeless you know, criminal, street thug. Again, mentally ill, yeah, whatever. But, you know, tried to kidnap a seven-year-old girl once,

punched a 60, was it a 60, seven-year-old woman in the face? You know, 42 arrests. So really, you know, and then he, you heard about him getting choked out because he came on the subway, started threatening people and a Marine, 24-year-old Marine, last name Penny, Daniel Penny, I think, got him in a chokehold, and he ended up dying.

You know, the Marine didn't, you know. And of course, the left's going crazy because somebody stepped up and did their job. They are mentally... Anyways, everybody who has a little bit of sense, like, what the fuck? We have... I want... It was heartbreaking. i didn't grow up in new york but i spent enough time there and rode the subways that i saw the mess that they're creating people

pushing and shoving and cops and trans people yelling it's like there it is if i'm china mission accomplished or whoever's watching anyways george shuros we just found this out mark zuckerberg's foundations previously donated to an activist group with communist ties that has recently been promoting protests over the death of jordan neely the guy i just mentioned homeless man from new york city who was restrained on the subway by a Marine. And yeah, so people are all upset. From 2017 to 2021, okay, Volkl, that's the name of the group, received $982,000 from Soros,

almost a million between those four years, from his Open Society Foundation excuse me get this through your head you Jew motherfucker you hey cut it out the organization partnered with

Communist Party USA's New York Young Communist League didn't you play in that for a while you get kicked out for fighting guys have you play in that for a while? You get kicked out for fighting? Guys, have you played in the communist? It's like double A ball. Anyways, to spend $100,000,

this is of those funds to prevent evictions during the COVID lockdowns. The New York Young Communist League has been outspoken in supporting the Neely protest. Did I mention Zuckerberg in it? Yeah. In 2019, Zuckerberg's FWD dot us

or US Education Fund donated $100,000 to vocal. Add that on top of him to fucking up the last election by throwing about $500,000, what was it, $500,000? No, $400 million, wasn't it? Into the Philadelphia area to change

the voting. The protest threatened to tear down the city. The protest is yesterday. This is in New York. And many got into physical altercations with police officers over the weekend.

So I hope Zuckerberg and Soros and people like you are happy when you watch this shit, seeing cops who protect your fucking faggy asses. You know, putting their neck on the line for this because a scumbag was choked out and is probably in a better place. Guy probably did him a favor.

Just my opinion. Jowanza Williams, I wonder how he voted or it voted, vocal New York organization director, told Spectrum News, just arresting this person, though I think accountability is absolutely necessary, it will not solve the critical structural failings that lead to the 70,000 plus people experiencing homelessness. You know, you experience it like poison ivy or the shits. It just, experiencing homelessness. I can't believe you used homelessness because that's out of date, right? They don't say that now. They say houseless.

Every single night in our city. It will not have saved this person's life who said that? who the fuck said that? who's the slimy little cunt who just signed his own death warrant Joanza Williams

you're a dick anyway Zuckerberg get out of my country take Soros with you stupid bastards communists no exaggeration and a great capitalist by the way see how they use it

they take their fruits of the capitalist and turn it that's what they do with their money may your sister be raped by a group of yaks was trying to do a karnak be raped by a group of yaks. I was trying to do a car neck. Whatever the hell.

Anyways, I'm trying to find the weather, folks. No. Let's get to it. West Coast stupid. Everybody knows you never go full retard. This is our West Coast stupid segment tonight. And it really is. It's where the aforementioned communist mindset really sort of, you know, simmers out there.

Most traffic enforcement in Los Angeles, listen to this. They did a study. It should be done by civilian workers. Unarmed civilian workers. This is what they're coming up with. But only in tandem with major infrastructure upgrade. Listen to the horseshit. You notice all their solutions happen like down the road 10 years?

That way you won't even, you know. Infrastructure upgrades that improve safety along city streets that are among the nation's deadliest. So they want unarmed civilians. To do that. Let that sink in. It's just so ridiculous. What the fuck? Yeah, picture three.

I don't know. Picture three unarmed civilians. Pulling over Rodney King that night. How would that have worked out? Soccer mom, maybe her husband. Just let that settle in. You fucking idiots. Stay in California. Those are the conclusions of a long delayed report. They love to do reports. Nothing ever happens. And when it does, it's a disaster. From the city transportation department that has yet to be released. Release it.

Don't be bitches. Some transportation safety advocates say persistent traffic, violence, particularly in low-income neighborhoods. What's that got to do with? Shows that the city needs to crack down harder on reckless driving. What? Yeah, drive-bys. Supporters of criminal justice reform argue for a less punitive approach. Oh, my aching stem.

They say those communities have historically borne the brunt, excuse me, of over-aggressive policing. What's that guy do with a guy going down a fucking one-way street? Oh, yeah, the cops are chasing, which they contend hasn't made the streets any safer. No, shut up! Will you? Will you please? Blaming anybody but the goddamn people who are responsible, the thugs themselves.

And they allege that even when such encounters don't end in violence, the fines that often result can send people into spiraling debt. Okay, so just say all black and brown people, no rules for you on the road. No traffic, no nothing. We'll pay the fines.

Here's some reparations for you. Just get it over with. Quit diddling around. And see how that works out after a week Among the recommendations put forth by the City report is investing in so-called Self-enforcing infrastructure let that settle into what are the bridges talk to each other? Hey, don't fuck this such as narrower streets. That'll do it dedicated bike lanes yeah yeah put one in the

middle of those 40 lanes right there and clearly marked pedestrian crosswalks that'll bring crime down in traffic accidents oh my aching step the city could for example use unarmed civilians to enforce safety-related traffic violations, such as speeding, in the same vein that... You ever see an episode of Cops? They don't pull over for fucking 19 cruisers. What, is some chick in a Prius gonna do? As cities such as Berkeley, Oakland, and Philadelphia, the report...

At the same time, the city should consider means-based fee models such as vouchers to repair broken taillights for traffic violators, measures, in other words, if you're poor, we're not going to fine you a taxpayer for a broken headlight. You don't get 20 cents. Advance traffic safety objectives and do not perpetuate enforcement disparities, which is a big fucking myth. It's been proved a thousand times. The debate over the role of law enforcement in traffic incidents stretches back decades, but intensified in the wake of George Floyd's murder in 2020.

Well, anything else we can use that as an excuse for? Any other fucking mindless liberal policies at the hands of police officers in Minneapolis and the ensuing nationwide reckoning. Oh, it was a reckoning. Is that what it was? The reckoning's coming, folks.

You people on the left aren't going to know what fucking hit you. Seriously, you're poking the white bear. In which critics challenged some long-held assumptions around policing. You go fuck yourself, convict! That's a good answer. The draft report calls for further expanding the LAPD's restrictions on so-called pretextual stops. They did this in Philly, remember? Already. Using minor traffic violations as a reason to pull over vehicles and search them for evidence of more serious crimes. They want to stop, put an end to that. Such stops are already drastically scaled back after a Times investigation.

Oh, New York or LA? LA. Found that the department stopped and searched black and Latino drivers at higher rates than white motorists. Yeah. First of all, California's probably majority Latino now and black. And once again, disparateate impact just look at the final numbers and go you know it has to be racism can't be anything else fucking suck a dick and die state anyways and the second half of the show folks I'm gonna be talking about me knocking the mic over like a retard I'm gonna be talking about a six-year-old boy who scared the shit out of his teacher by doing a drawing that was kind of creepy, even I admit,

and the continued decimation of Bud Light sales, which makes me hard. You too, right? It's exclusive on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. Let's move along, shall we? Heads up is the headline. I thought I'd lighten it up because that last thing, that last story is a little heavy. So I wanted to bring you something that would make you feel better.

A Brazilian doctor delivering a baby allegedly ripped the newborn's head off, her body, during childbirth. I'm not making that up. As the horrified father looked on. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Who delivered? Dr. Tony Saragusa? Ray Lewis?

Get out of the way. Can you... Again, you can say anything you want about America, but I don't think that's happened. How does that happen, Dallas? The shocking incident... Please have footage. No, I wouldn't watch that.

Occurred May 1st at the Hospital das Klinikas de UFMG in the Santa Eugenia neighborhood of Belo Rosaronte, the capital of Minas Gerais. Jesus H.

What did I fucking have to master in Spanish? It's the most fake Spanish I've done in years. Newsflash reported. Cuando te conté las cartas? Rainily, oh, another one. Cojo Santos,

let's call her Rainy Santos, 33, the mother of a nine-year-old girl was hospitalized on April 28th and her labor was induced shortly before the unidentified obstetrician

called the father oh my god to observe the birth more closely did he have something against the father think about this this is weird I know ouch remind me not to have a splinter pulled out of my foot in De Janeiro. What? Look, there's Russell Wilson at the hospital. Sitting next to somebody. What the fuck? The doctor put pressure on her belly. I'm guessing the pregnant woman. And then he kneed her in the stomach twice.

What kind of, no. Tried to remove the baby's body quickly. There's your first mistake. And ripped off the child's head. I'm not making this up, folks. If you're eating dinner, my apologies. The devastated dad, he told the police that. Really?

Here's the mother. And then the guy would, you know, fucking obviously went crazy on the doctor and then the guy would you know fucking obviously went crazy on the doctor on the doctor said what's the matter with you sorry the fuck is the matter with you I'm sorry. It's not my last name. Oh, my God. How does this happen?

I can't even. Was the neck made of, like, styrofoam? How did it? Boy, maybe the baby had shoulders like LeBron. Came off like a champagne cork. I don't know what to tell you. I know it's not funny, but this is where, I'm sorry, if I don't make fun and laugh at shit like this, I hang myself.

He told investigators that he even saw the baby blinking and moving her mouth, which he said was proof she was alive at the time. And of course, they'll go, well, do you have footage? Like the mayor of Amityville and jaws well you do you have the tooth now I dropped it yeah there you go they said a hospital social worker told them the facility would cover the burial cause well hey thanks for stepping up but only if they agreed to sign a waiver, uh-oh, in come the lawyers, a waiver that the autopsy had already been performed and that it would not be forwarded

to the legal medical institute for further analysis. Boy, what a, first of all, the doctors are dumb. You really think they're going to say yes to that? Fucking, oh my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What picture is this now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It can't be of the incident.

No, they're just packing stuff up. Yeah, like the baby's head. Honey, get the torso. Imagine that was them packing up right after it happened. Can't believe we came here. I told you we shouldn't have come. The family's lawyer, Jennifer Valente, got a nice ass, like a nectarine, said, no, no, I'm kidding, said they refused to sign the document and demanded an autopsy be performed by IML.

That's a soccer league over there. The result has not been made public, and the police investigation is ongoing. The baby's body was expected to be released to the family on Monday and the head on Thursday. Oh, I added that part. Can you imagine the pain? That lady carried that. What? What do you do there?

Does that doctor go to jail? I don't know. Brazil, I don't know. I got to believe he has to hand in a certificate that he probably got in high school. That was very gross and very upsetting. I did the best I could with it. I thought I played it well.

Oh, my God. Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdopaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's show and a lot more. And while you're there at my website, you want to click on the tour button if you want to see me live. This Friday night, that's like two, three nights away, May 12th, Hilton Daytona Beach Ocean Front Resort, Daytona Beach, Florida. And then tour dates. I'm reading the whole thing like Biden. May 19th and 20th, Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas.

And then July 14th and 15th, one of my favorite gigs, Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia. Hope to see you guys there. guitar solo Outro Music