The Nick DiPaolo Show - Up Close & Personal With Nick | Nick Di Paolo Show #1685

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

In this episode Dallas interviews Nick! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 2/20/2025 - Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK 2/21/2025 - Funny Bone Westport, St. Louis, MO 3/13/2025 - Hyena’s, Albuquerque, NM 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS - https://bio.site/nickdipaolo

Music playing Don't give me that smart-ass shit. Hi folks, how you is? What it was? Welcome on a Wednesday. On a Wednesday from the state of Georgia. Today, great guest, tremendous guest, very famous, very funny, very good looking myself. That's right. We got, let me explain real quick. I always get, and my wife reads a lot of these and says, people want to know more about your personal, how you grew up, blah, blah, blah, blah, which I play, again, I'll say it again, I'm not super famous, so it doesn't, but I just sort of a private person, whatever.

But I don't mind revealing stuff about how I grew up and family-wise and stuff like that. So Dallas is going to do an up close and personal with me and I'll tell you a few anecdotes from from first grade to high school to college and we're going to probably do two of them. So this is the first half of up up close with me. Look we could have got Alex time but I don't want to wear her mouth. He's so funny. I don't want to. And I did call, you know who, Esti, you know, the Kamala impersonator who she's really got a lot of fans and all that stuff. But she's got strep throat and the flu. So it was kind of a little bit. Anyway, so I thought I'd let you in on, because like I said, my wife said, you got to let people in on a little more or whatever and I said

what the fuck are you here writing a book so anyways this is a part one of a sit-down with me hope you enjoy it I'm Arthur Raditz. I'm Kevin Bacon. That's right, radish and bacon. Delicious. What's going on? What are we doing here? Well, I'm gonna interview you and we're gonna dig deep into your life. Kinda. Kinda. Kinda. Because you've teased a lot about moments in your life life your father and all that kind of stuff so a lot of people Really like it. So we're gonna see We're gonna see how far we get and how much deeper we can get into a lot of those stories

You kind of only hint at yeah. Well, I thought it'd be very deep because I'm kind of shallow Actually more entertaining but no you make a good point. The reason we're doing this is because you told me and my wife, every time I let a little bit open, I mention personal stuff, family-wise, but people want more of that. That's what they tell my wife when she's answering emails. And yes, I do answer some of them folks. But yeah, go and Tommy my manager said they want to know more about you know and I I've kept it not

that I'm super famous but I have kept it close to the vest because I have a different angle on life that wasn't that popular anyways that's why we're sort of doing this but isn't that kind of kind of the origin of a comedian? Is there a life? I mean, the things that shape them and kind of make them who they are as a comedian? Yeah, the world shapes you. Mm-hmm.

Well, I don't want to get too heavy here, because it sounds like Val Kilmerkin on 60 Minutes of the fucking 80s. Well, you it's an artist. But yeah I mean how I react to shit people found funny because I was such a negative in high school and this is the truth they the superlatives in the yearbook they had to invent one and I was class pessimist, which I laugh at that because I go, why am I, well, you're so negative. No, I was a realist even then. That gets a lot of people, you know,

you get labeled as a pessimist, but you look around the fucking world in which we live. And, you know, I would just, I guess I was kind of moody and not that outgoing, believe it or not. Around my friends, different story. And then, you know, by my senior year, but I got along with everybody, but I, you know, yeah.

I don't know, but there's something about Northeasterners too though. What about us? You're very raw, sarcastic, just kind of built in. Yeah, you're like growing up in a little north. I grew up in a town about 22 miles north of Boston and Massachusetts, and I've mentioned it before. Boston people are standoffish, kind of asshole-ish until you get to know them. Then you friggin' love them. But everybody, and I've always mentioned this, everybody's funny whether they're an asshole or not. My friends in high school's parents were funny, the mothers were funny, you know what I mean?

And quick. And yeah, I mean I guess it's a survival tool up there. Yeah, it's not the nice Midwest end or the southern gentleman and shit, no. It's a different, because you know why? You're fucking packed in on each other. They had enough of each other by the time you're in third grade you like Well, I think it maybe bleeds over from the revolution and all started in Massachusetts Yeah, too bad. It's all ending there fucking liberal faggots ruining my hometown It's embarrassing it all started there and you guys are pissing it away with your

You know your fucking sunshine and roses. Anyways. Well, speaking of, so that's, that takes us into the very beginning here, you know, growing up in mass, you know, what kind of kid were you growing up? I guess I had, I, people, you know, I curse a lot now. I hung out with my sister, Darlene, who's four years old, I hung out with her friends. When I was in third, fourth grade,

I was hanging out with eighth graders. In fifth grade, I was hanging out with high school. Because we played, we always played stand-alone football, and I was really fast as a kid, and they would always call me. And they'd say, you know, fuck this, fuck that, your mother's tit, all that shit and I would inhale it every day and come home talking like that to my brother and there were a couple times where my mother got a call from school. I remember Mr. French at fifth

grade, oh with Miss LaWalma, I can't remember, anyways a couple times they get calls because of my dirty mouth. I remember in sixth grade we came in from a recess, we were playing kill the guy with the ball. And Jonathan Schatz was one of my closest friends in sixth grade. And we come in, we're all sweaty, my shirt was ripped and Schatz said something like, oh, fuck you, you Jew. This is in sixth grade, folks. So if you're wondering- Where the Jew love comes from? Well, you mentioned North East and Boston, you're very provincial, meaning that shit was, oh you're Irish, whatever, even

when you were young. I got you fucking Jew. And I remember Mrs. Baker, who I think looking back at it might've been Jewish because of her nose and her voice. She goes, hey, she goes, hey, Mr. DiPaolo, that language belongs out on the ball field. So my mom got a couple of times and they get calls. I used to fight with this kid, Louie Ramue, whatever. But but. Yeah, it was on the other guy was Jeff Rice, a kid who I grew up with, who was a friend of mine. He grew up the next street over and he had all brothers and his parents are kind of a

rough, me and him would, we got in a fight in first grade. I don't know how that's even, and then we fought each other like once a year, the school always knew about it, until about seventh grade and all sudden this guy filled out and he was a tall kid. That's enough. Yeah, eye, that's enough. Yeah, but yeah so I hung out with all the kids. I had a filthy mouth. Did pretty good in school, you know. My parent grew up next to my grandparents right off the boat from Italy, which was good and bad. It was great because you get your grandp, they're the reason you're here. But the bad is, you know, my grandfather was born in 1885. We couldn't leave the house, me and my brother, without him being in the yard and going, come

over here. Cut to us eight hours later, we're fucking putting in tomato plants and picking up rotten pears out of the yard. We couldn't fucking, we'd have to sneak out with the disguises on, rubbing those in glasses. Well, it would be hard labor. And so are you second in second gen American yeah well but yeah cuz my dad would be first right it's not that works my dad would be first and the old man was a funny people asked me my father was he looking back on it I see where I got it he was rapid-fire always intricate always when my parents had company over, he

would be riffing while he's cooking on the grill and shit flying over my head, but the other guys laughing their balls off and just riffing off the top of his head. And he was, my dad was a Marine. Right. I was going to say. He had a hundred percent Italian. Yeah. So you add that because, you know. Yeah. You didn't need that extra layer of marine on top of Italian Who's whose dad used to hit?

My father said my grandfather used to hit my My father told me my grandfather would hit them over the head when he had to buy him shoes because they were expensive What's the matter with you exactly? Can you imagine so you don't think some of that trickled out to my dad or whatever? So my dad was strict. And he was strict with my sisters. I think I've told this story before. My sister was dating this kid that looked like Axl Rose, Brian Howe.

We had a leather jacket, long blonde hair, just a punk of punks. Can I say the name? Yeah, of course I can. So my sister, my parents were crazy about this kid. So they were at a high school football game, my game. No, it wasn't my game. No, I was in the crowd with my parents. That's right. Because I saw that Brian Howe gives my father the finger. I don't know why. My father gets up and starts chasing him. This is during a high school football game. My father, down the bleachers, the kid runs out of the stadium,

and it was like a soccer field behind the stadium. My father's chasing him. All half the audience is facing the wrong way, watching my dad chase this kid. And my father chases him down, grabs him by the by the back of his shirt slaps the kid in the face like a sitcom wait then this is the dear my sister was my sister Donna was dating this guy it's a way to win him over yeah I know he like he knew my father didn't like him because he looked like fucking Axl Rowan I'm a good guy

but yeah my father sat across in front of all of her friends and shit. And they called him Big Nick after that. He got the label Big Nick. And another time, my sister Donna was dating another guy. And I'm down the park hanging out. I'm probably in, she might be in high school. I might be in seventh, eighth grade.

Also, my father pulls, and it sounds like a scene out of Alabama. He pulls up in his pickup truck he's driving like the company pickup truck and my my sister was making out with somebody on the swings and I just happened to be near there I don't know the fucking father same thing comes over says something to the kid the kid walks so throws my sister on the truck seems like your dad had a sixth sense. He yeah. Because he had a magical extended arm too.

My sister was like look and everybody wanted a date. You know my sister Donna Darlene and so this I'm just giving you guys a feel for how my dad was and where a lot of this angst comes from and my sister Gina who was the youngest my youngest sister who was you know another one adorable., who was, you know, another one adorable. I remember she's in high school, a senior year. It's like 11 o'clock on a Friday night. I'm home, you know, Dungeons and Dragons. And the phone rings and my dad's like, yeah, okay.

And she's a little upset. It was the Salem, New Hampshire police. My sister was at a party at Duke St. Pierre who ended up playing for the Green Bay Packers backup, went to BC, handsome kid, blonde hair, blue eyes, right? The whole high school was at his house up in New Hampshire or something, Salem. They were making a ruckus and the cops showed up and called everybody's parents.

So I stayed up. It reminded me of the episode of Sopranos when Meadow would get in trouble, Anthony would stay up to see what happens. I stayed up. My father's pacing. I come home. I was out that night. I came home. My father was pacing in his underwear. By the way in a glass room that he built like the whole day. Luckily was you know 1130 nobody but the neighbors could see him if they were up pacing around in his underwear in the glass room. And I'm sitting there, I come home with my jacket on,

I got booze on my breath, but I'm in high school, and she finally comes home, and he slapped her right across the face. And I went, oh, excellent, I'm going to bed. And then ran. And then, yeah, I jumped. You don't want to be collateral damage. I always got blamed for everything.

That was the other thing with my shitty attitude. We would be downstairs, my sister Darlene, Donna, and Greg, and something would happen between, let's say, Donna and Greg, a fight would break up. Father would come downstairs, don't even ask why, he'd grab me first. He'd grab me for what happened? I don't know. Why don't you? You know, he would grab me first. Apparently, maybe I was a little more troubled and But other than that a good kid, you know, I mean I wasn't wasn't a fucking punk. It wasn't I didn't smoke pot and in high school I got along with it with I was quiet and kind of and yes, I bullied a few kids which I am totally ashamed of

One of them popped me right in the eye one day. And now I take credit for it. I go, I fucking made you a man. I guess he's on Facebook, bragging about it. Badge of honor. Yeah, yeah. Good. Quick. Had it coming. And I get bullied by some kid named John.

I don't want to say his last name, but he was a senior when I was like a softball. Toughens you up, though? Yeah. And he had a beard. You know he looked like the fucking guy looking for gold on Rudolph the third year senior. Yeah like that. Definitely looked like. So he uh I remember him at a mall I was at the fucking this is how old I was. He'd be over the head with a pay phone. The pot of you guinea crack on the fucking head. He was in my metal class. She in my metal club metal shop. They don't do that anymore. No, they don't do

that anymore. Of course not. We were making cannons, you know, like a little cannon you put on your desk, which you put a piece of stock in on a lathe and you turn it down a little at a time, right? So he cracked me in the head with it, with that phone. So he was my metal class and he was a senior and I'm like a sophomore. I purposely got there early because I had study hall but I still remember this. I went into the, nobody was in there, I put his thing in a lathe. He was almost done and I put it on reverse and just fucking... He comes in, who the fuck did it? I wouldn't say anything, you know, I wouldn't say anything. And then later on I told him, you know,

the teacher didn't know who fucked it. Later on he laughed. That's bullies do. He kind of fucked his ass later on. Anyways. You got it, you got it. I got it. But he fucking gave me this lump on the head

with a pay phone. I must've said something. So, but so. high school is the best. Your mom though, we don't hear much about her except for you calling her the home and giving her shit. Well yeah, I had a pretty normal childhood. She was a spot welder. My dad was the first trans butcher. So, he used to get fired for stealing the liver. We don't know. My mom was just a great mom.

She looked like Mary Tyler Moore when she was young. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And my dad was really good looking. They met at a finance company. My dad would come in with his marine shit on to deliver whatever the fuck and she loved my mother did planes. Clean freak?

I don't even know what the word is she's she loved the way he my father looked and smelled and how clean you sir that's fine for you get that from huh yes look at me clean cut shaving Evan fucking show it since last February and yeah my mother was she was just a great mom we got into it we for some reason, we have a little bit of a strained relationship. I hope she doesn't watch it. I don't know why. I don't know. Well, look, I've had, obviously it had to be me because I would have probably a lot of people. But she, I want to say about her,

she, we had a few incidents. I can't remember. I would get in, I would squeal on my sister Donna. My Donna had the motherly instincts that nurturing side when she was young. She just, she was, took after my mother and she would wrap me out. Like my parents went away for a weekend and I did something. My sister, when they come up, my sister Donna wrapped me out. I remember calling my sister Donna the c-word and then she told my parents my father fucking lit me up yeah what else about my mother I think you're gonna crack up at this story this is true we're watching TV downstairs me my father my best friend Bob Murphy who's the funniest person to this day that I ever met. And I, honest to God, I can't remember if I farted or the dog farted. The dog was down there,

Schultz, a German shepherd. My father goes, what the fuck? He looks at me. He goes, for Christ's sake. And I go, how do you know it was me? Because I didn't lift my leg. This is an actual fight we had. And Murph's there watching this. My father starts yelling at me. He goes, get upstairs. My friend, not to walk, my friend Murph's over there looking around, you know. I do. Yeah, I go upstairs.

He goes, get me a room or some shit. And I'm like too old to hear. I go upstairs, I grab the lamp. I remember, it's a wooden lamp with a ship wheel on it. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a fucking hell of a thing. Yes, and I smashed the lamp. Here's my mother and I quote, Murph still brings this up.

But I talk, my mother goes, she opens the cell door, yells down to my father. It was right around, we were going on spring break. She goes, he just smashed his lamp and he's not going to Fort Lauderdale. I didn't even see it. Father comes upstairs, comes in the room, gets in my face. I make a fist for the first time.

First making a fist. My father goes, who the fuck you want to hit me? You know, and then slap the shit out of me. And again, most of the time I, I I'm not trying to make him out to be a beast, but my brother was a lot, I think, better behaved than I was or whatever. And I'd pick on my brother because he was younger and shit, you know.

Nah, I just kept him on your toes. Yeah, that's what I looked like a favor of, you know. So, yeah, it was in high school, didn't get in that much trouble. Wasn't a punk. One time, didn't get in that much trouble. Wasn't it wasn't a, you know, a punk. One time, the only time we got in trouble was at a party senior in high school. And it was in a neighborhood where a cop lived. And we heard the rumor was this cop roughed up one of our friends.

So we get all drunk and thought we were hard asses. And we dumped garbage all over his front lawn. Next to know, he comes out the front door and not even five minutes later two cop cars blow up. Now we're all fucked up, we're drunk and we have our cars. Mm-hmm. Right? This is how different it's changed instead of going get in the cop car, you're going to the whatever. They made us drive, they let us drive their own cars drunk. But the cop, there was a cop car on the front and one in the back.

He hit an escort. To escort us to the police station. So it was like me and a couple of my buddies. And they go, OK, we're calling you. No, they said, you have to call your parents. They didn't say we're going to listen. Call your parents and tell them what happened. So my buddy Mike does. Can't even remember who else was with me, maybe Dougie DeLuca.

They call, I call, I just call some random number. And I go, yeah, I got trouble at that party that I went to and whatever. Meanwhile, some guy on the other end is going, hello, hello. And all of a sudden the cop goes, hey asshole, I said call your parents. He's listening to me. Somebody in the room is actually, yeah, on the line, yeah. Like an idiot, I didn't figure that out.

And to make it worse, the chief of police was friends with my parents. Like his wife and my parent would go out, you know. So my father was fucking, I made a face. Oh mama mama son. He did not let that one go. All right, quick break while we pay some bills and tell you where Nick's going to be across the country and we'll be right back in just a few moments. Folks, as you know, I'm a stand-up comic. That's my, I make my bread and I can't believe it's not dog shit.

That's my I make my bread and I can't believe it's not dog shit That's a shoe if you want to see me live this year go to nickdip.com click on the tour button as you see February 20th Bricktown Comedy Club Tulsa, Oklahoma February 21st the very next night I go to a funny bone in st. Louis, Missouri and then in March on the 13th I go to hyena's in Albuquerque, New Mexico and April 25th Cajos music hall Cajos, New York and May 15th and 16th is one of my favorite rooms Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois and those would be like just one show a night. I can't wait those are those are all good towns up for comedy and so I

hope I hope to see you there if you guys want to support this show you can again go to my merch page grab a hat a hoodie we got Nick DePaulo clit rings nipple clamps and Nerf football kits also if you're Look at that, he's the head. premium button, click the red premium button below, click another button, then two fucking buttons on my shirt, and enter promo code Mug Club to get $10 off an annual subscription. Do it. I swear you'll thank me later. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man So I'm out.