The Nick DiPaolo Show - U.S. Bombs ISIS Camps | Nick Di Paolo Show #1663

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

In this episode Nick talks about Assad overthrown, Trump Facing Pricks, SNL’s Jokes and more! Like what you hear?  Watch FULL episodes of The Nick Di Paolo Show on Rumble Premium! Use Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off annually! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive For Tour Dates, Merch and more visit https://nickdip.com/2/20/2025 -- Bricktown Comedy Club – Tulsa, OK Follow me on Socials! https://bio.site/nickdipaolo CHRISTMAS MERCH SALE! We’ve added tons of new items and it’s all 20% off until 12/15 (discount applied at checkout) https://shop.nickdip.com/    

Music playing I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man Stroke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock It's the first time for you, so here's what you do Unsip me, and strip me, and show me you care Don't go ripping out my pubic hair Reach for my, grab for my my pull at my cock you can do it with ease just get on your knees start licking and slurping my dick will get firm soon you'll be tasting sperm That's gross. I don't like that type of talk. Delicious. Oh God no. I like when girls go, it tastes like bleach. I go, what, do you drink bleach a lot?

Do bleach shooters, how the fuck? Anyhow, when I run out of butter, I might. Having lobster, you run out of melted butter. Yeah, close enough, I'll be right back. Hey folks, how you doing, what it is? Real quick, let me get out of some business out of the way. I gotta thank, I What it is real quick. Let me get out of some business out of the way. I got to thank Think it's Chris Edwards

Fight up New York Fire Department sent me this beautiful Jersey Engine 42 and note it says no truck and this note he says this is a Work in truck and this note he says this is a work in a e42 of the story of the shirt says no truck because we are a single engine company doesn't it make it one truck I don't know this is the firehouse in the Bronx, fourth busiest in the city of New York. And thank you. Seriously, I'm a Bostonian, but let me tell you something. I spent a lot of time in New York city doing benefits and shit. I fucking love these guys and I'm sure they feel the same way about Boston firefight. Cause yeah, when you're a firefighter at a small town, it's one thing,

but these fuckers, when I would be in my office at Chris Rock, there would be eight fucking emergencies a day with these guys. And they're not little, ooh, a woman's got her mushrooms on fire in the kitchen. So Chris, thank you very much, man. And big props to all you guys at that firehouse and all the firehouses. And then I had K.P. Burke is a very funny comedian who opened for me a few years ago in Pennsylvania I think it was. I think he's a Navy guy. He was in the Navy. And he was a good comedian. I was like very impressed. And I was sitting back there while he was on going, I don't want to work this hard. This fucking guy's getting

loud. I don't need that. I need a fat chick who's kind of mediocre. He's got a book out called History Isn't Boring, Your Teacher Was. Who's gonna argue with that? Mind Blowing Stories from American History in 90 Seconds or Less by K.P. Burke. And I read a little bit of it, and it is. The American Scoundrel I read, and he's a good comic. Maybe we'll get him on if we get time like next week

or when we need a guest. But I wanted to plug this anyways. Instagram at KP Birk sucks. YouTube at hair lies KP Birk. Facebook at the KPB. And that'll be X, I guess, at KP Birk, that's B-U-R-K-E. But he suggests reading it in the bathroom because they're like short hits and stuff. I could read this in one sitting.

I have a lot of blockage is what I'm trying to say. These holidays. Oh yeah, turkey, that goes through you. It goes through you like a brick. Plus I got this sinus infection for the last, almost going on two weeks. I blow my nose and it's blood. And I'm in this vicious cycle. I'll blow my nose and use the spray. And two and a half hours later, I can feel snots that weigh six pounds each hardening in each nostril. I know you guys don't need to hear this, but it is the holidays. And so I blow it again and it's like they're

almost like scabs that come out. They're like hard as a rock with blood and then I can breathe again and then three hours later I have to do it again. That's been going on for about ten days and I'm sure. Can't be good for you but I don't give a shit okay. Woke up with a wart on my finger yesterday. I thought it was a callus, I'm picking at it. It's like a little mountain. Am I gonna have to walk you down the stairs after the studio?

No, you can have the firefighters do that and the ambulance. And I start picking, I pull it, and I make a hole in my finger, and within hours it's infected. It's like pink around this, and it goes up like this. I'm walking around with it all, and my wife's like, you this and it goes up like this. I'm walking around with it all and my wife's like, you got to put shit on that, put a bandaid on

it. Anyways, that's it. What else you need? My blood's all right. You brought me a bike pump today. Oh yeah. That's the other thing. My wife goes, here's a couple of lavaliers that for some reason I had to bring to Dallas. And as she was saying that, she handed me, I said, what's this gray bag? It had a heavy thing in it. And she said, that's the pump, which it was. I brought my, one of those, you know, that you keep in your car in case you get a flat. I brought it in to recharge it. So she said, put it back in your car. I'm holding that. And then she tells me about the lava layers. And I said to her then she tells me about the lava layers.

And I said to her, I've got to bring him lava layers. She goes, yeah, whatever. I get here. I hand Dallas a little gray bag. I go, here's your lava layers. He opens it. It's the fucking tire pump. And he's going, what the fuck are you doing?

Anyways, so my point is, I'll be in a diaper in about a year and a half. Come visit me at Maple Street Retarded Center. Real quick, let's get to the top news. US Central Command, Central Command, that's CENTCOM, you guys know that, forces conducted dozens of precision strikes targeting known ISIS camps and operatives in central Syria on December 8th, it's two days ago, right? The strikes against the ISIS leaders operatives and camps were conducted as part of the ongoing mission to disrupt, degrade and defeat ISIS,

either that or leave Trump with a shit storm in his lap. In order to prevent the terrorist group from conducting external operations and to ensure that ISIS does not seek to take advantage of the current situation to reconstitute in central Syria. Netanyahu, it's really not Biden leaving a shit storm. And Netanyahu's taking credit for all the shit that they've been doing since October 7th has led to this fall of Syria, of Assad, I should say.

The operation struck over 75 targets using multiple U.S. Air Force assets, B-52s, F-15s, and A-10s. Battle damage assessments are underway and there are no indications of civilian casualties. CENTCOM, together with allies and partners in the region, will continue to carry out operations or to degrade ISIS operational capabilities even during this dynamic period in Syria. I just thought I'd read it to you, it's because sort of like World War III, I mean we're actually bombing shitting in the Middle East, kind of can't deny that we're not involved or whatever. Trump will

have it settled in five minutes. Listen you cocksuckers, the rest of the world has had it with you. I don't like mosquitoes. I don't like them. I don't like them ass, never did. Terrible, terrible impression. Stop. Okay. Just wanted to get that out of my way. Let's get on with it I guess

because this is related to that. Get your ass out of my way. Let's get on with it, I guess, because this is related to that. Get your Assad out of here. No, no. The nearly quarter century rule of Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad came to a stunning end when he fled the country by plane for an unknown destination as rebel troops stormed into the capital city of Damascus with little resistance, reports say Saturday. Thousands of people rushed to the city's main square, waving and chanting freedom. This is, depending on who you talk to, this is a good thing. It could have a domino effect where everybody wants to be free over there. As rebels breached the city gates on Sunday local time and Assad's army fled from the streets, witnesses

said. Assad, who has ruled the country with an iron fist and a cardboard dick for 24 years, boarded a plane and left Damascus for parts unknown to senior army officers, said. So he's bolting like a lot of these guys end up doing. So again, this guy was a piece of shit he gassed his own people he was a total you know fucking tyrant and dictator and whatnot but again depending on who you believe with the same thing happened to Saddam Hussein Gaddafi and people who want to blame Jews for everything and maybe they're right maybe they're wrong I don't know the reason these this shit starts because they won't give into

the Jews whatever the Jews that's what people say I don't know it's a theory not completely discounting it and I'm not completely buying it either here's some video to prove that there's a an uprising and he left left. There you go. Oh, I'm sorry. Wrong footage. That was the Jets fans pulling down a statue of Aaron Rodgers that they had built when

they got him. How many people dive in that statue fair? Because we pulled one. Remember the fucking, what do you call it, Antifa pulled one down during Trump's, remember? Somebody fucking landed on somebody and killed somebody, which was great. Here I am in my new car going down Broughton Street in Savannah, celebrating a shoe sale.

Look at the, who wants to live over there? Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed in a video that the fall of Assad regime to rebels was a direct result of forceful actions against Hezbollah in Iran, in Iran, Assad's main supporters. And again, you can believe that or you can believe what, like I said, people tend to believe the Jews run the planet. Whatever.

They use us to do those, we send them the, we're actually using our fucking missiles and shit. So I don't know what to believe, but all I know is Assad wasn't a big fan of the Jews. Neither was Gaddafi, neither was Saddam. Hates Jews. And Americans, probably. Hates Jews. It set off a chain reaction of all those

who want to free themselves, this is Netanyahu, from this tyranny, the Israeli prime minister said. Israel also bombed sites within the capital itself, including a security complex, which is good for us. I mean, you've got ISIS and all these cycle groups, Hezbollah, and a government research center that has said Iran had previously used to develop weapons. Once again, I missed it.

Sandra. There is a, oh, we got some footage of an insurrection. At least this is what the Democrats, this is what a real insurrection would look like, you f***ing Democrat f***s. You don't see anybody taking a tour, do you? I thought that was Black Friday in Damascus. What? Gilly good dip. Excuse me.

Anyways, so that could be good. I mean, a lot of people want to be free over there. That guy used to gas his own. Remember they would show, they showed footage of women laying dead in the street with their babies dead, like all gray and shit. You remember that footage? I got a poster over my bed. Listen.

Climate change, a problem so huge, how could I ever make a difference? I'm Marco Chianoved, climate reporter for the Toronto Star. I meet a lot of smart people doing really inspiring things in this space all the time. Small things that add up to big climate benefits. Small things, big climate. Wherever you get your favorite podcasts. The Climate Solutions podcast is brought to you by SmartFlow from Enbridge Sustain. Let's move on. Trump, Trump is already the president, already running the world.

You guys realize that, right? Because he knows schmucko. Nobody's running it. So he's like, I'm taking charge. He doesn't have to say that the world already, shit's already happening because he's president. Trump went on Meet the Pricks, the press, Trump on meet the pricks, the press, talking about the 2020 election with Kristen, what's her fucking Welker, whatever. It's so obvious that these jerk-offs haven't changed their MO, the liberal media, and it's,

again, it's enemy of state versus Donald Trump who's trying to upend their fucking you know control and she's just asking the same ignorant questions and I like Trump now because he sounds a little older or maybe he's got a cold but he sounds very uh very boss of the world why would I do that I mean I talked to I talked to my son. I talked to Lara, Frankie, five angels. Everything's fine. You're going to be fine. Here we go.

For the sake of unifying this country, will you concede? First of all, that implies. She goes for the sake of unify. She doesn't state that under Biden and under when Trump's first administration, you guys divided the country a thousand percent. I don't give a fuck if I sound like a partisan. It's true.

You called half the people domestic terrorists. You don't let the parents know what the kids are doing in school. You divided the fucking country. So I don't know who the fuck you think. It's up to him to clean it up. But anyways. The 2020 election and turn the page on that chapter. No. I'm sorry. Why would I do that? She asked if he would concede the 2020 election. They want him to say that so bad.

Yes, it wasn't stolen. And we know Trump doesn't even, I wish he went further. He should have said, did you just see the last election? It's more proof that I smoked him in the election before. How the fuck can you ask me that, you whore? That should have been the reaction. Maybe over the top, but anyways. But let me just tell you, when you say the have been the reaction. Maybe over the top, but anyways.

But let me just tell you, when you say the country is deeply divided, I'm not the president. Joe Biden is the president. But you're going to be the president. No, no. No, I'm not. I'm not the president. So when you say it's deeply divided, I agree. But Biden is the president, I'm not. And he has been a divider. And you know where he divided it more than anything else? And it probably backfired on him.

I think definitely his weaponization, when he weaponized the Justice Department, and he went after his political opponent, me. He went after his political opponent violently because he knew he couldn't beat him. Brought through a motherfucker face. Yeah. Her first quote, maybe it wasn't her first

because it was a long interview I guess. But can you imagine asking that? They want him to say, yeah, I lost. When he fucking didn't, I'll go to my grave saying, nobody cares, I'm not anybody, but I'm just saying. There was so much evidence. Yeah, but the judges threw it out. No, they wouldn't even look at it.

They didn't look at it and throw it out. They wouldn't even let it in. I could, I'm not going to have this discussion again. You fucking people make me sick not you people at home this whore nice lady anyways, um Does she ask more questions? Yeah Uh, here's the more uh, he talked about uh deportation, right?

Um, this is him talked about deportation, right? This is him talking about deportation. You raise the point that the logistics are complicated. You said yourself you would need 24 times more ICE detention capacity just to deport 1 million people per year, not to mention more agents, more judges, more planes. Is it realistic to deport everyone who's- You have no choice. First of all, they're costing us a fortune. But we're starting with the criminals, and we gotta do it. And then we're starting with others, and we're gonna see how it goes. Who are the others?

Who are the others? Others are other people outside of criminals. We have convicted murders. We don't mean people that are even on trial. We have people that have murdered, numerous people are on our streets and in our farms and we have to get them out of our country. What about? What about your sister? That's a sick question. You're a sick fucker. I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer. I'm asking about your sister, you motherfucker Yeah, she might have a better one. Henry, I do fucking favors for you, Henry

have about a lot of Henry I do I do fucking favors for you Henry no no Tommy what no since you brought from five times she might have over any how doesn't Trump sound like a little more I don't feel a little older his voice is going why he's been wearing that gold tie a lot. He looks like he oh shit. I Was gonna say I noticed the gold tie too cuz it looks like that's what the Bruins coaches wear black Jacket white that's a Bruins colors a lot of times they have that behind the back and but I forgot he always has yes Maybe because he's not president yet It's fucking tremendous. Can you imagine if that douchebag won?

Holy moly, where would we be? Imagine her trying to handle the Middle East. She can't even. Oh my god. Biggest fraud in the history. Like I said, set women back in this country 1,000 years. That was your big chance. And Hillary must have been going, what the

fuck? Hillary goes, I know I lost to the guy, but at least people thought I had the potential. I am a killer. All right, let's move on to some more stuff. There are white... I've seen a lot of white... I don't like that type of talk. In our RTR, reverse the races segment tonight. Saturday Night Live. It's Saturday Night Live. SNL swung and missed with some of their audience this weekend.

I hate people who write this shit. Can I give you guys a comedy lesson? Comedy is not supposed to work every time. Do you get it? Any comic who kills with everything out of his mouth is a hack and doing it the easy way. Making people laugh is the easiest thing about comedy. But it's doing it under your own terms with your own point of view that makes the comic. You understand? And the wording and all that shit.

So it's not supposed to get used. And good jokes get people in trouble. So I might have a surprise take on this. I don't know. But the sketch comedy show came under fire by what? Eleven angry women on fucking, you know what I mean? How many people have to say, after spending nearly a minute and a half of its weekend update segment discussing the recent murder of United Health Care CEO Brian Thompson including

America's fascination with alleged gunman's appearance here's a couple of the jokes that supposedly pissed off a lot of people a lot of comedy people who know nothing about comedy. You are a pretty remember? I know what you get. You're a damn pedigree. Alright, just get the hell out of here. I got a goddamn pedigree. I like it. Alrighty, before I go on, in other exciting news, we launched our new merch store in time for Christmas and everything in the store is 20% off until December 15th. You don't even need a promo code The discount comes off in checkout. Just go to nickdip.com and click on merch We added a lot of new stuff winter beanies baseball shirts like this hoodies caps mugs

Stickers and all that shit check out our new Patriot collection. All the items come in red, white and blue with our matching logo. So head over to nickdip.com before December 15th to get 20% off everything. Don't miss it. If you guys want to see the rest of my show, Lotto with Crowder and all the content available on Rumble Premium, click on the link in the description. If you haven't converted from Locals yet, there's a second link showing you how to do that You can subscribe for 9.99 a month or 89 dollars annually if you use my promo code of mug club one word Mug club M U G C L U B. So do that. It's very worthwhile and if you want to see tour dates Nick dip comm you click on the tour button. I'm gonna be in February 20th, Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Alright? Alright. Second half of the show, we'll be touching on the college football playoffs. A big deal in MLB that went down. But the college football playoffs, I watched naturally all weekend some of the best college football football period anyways. Hi good night everybody. Are you having dreams? Are you? Are you having dreams? I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man

I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man

I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man Thanks for watching!