The Nick DiPaolo Show - USPS to Aid in Voter Fraud | Nick Di Paolo Show #1249

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

USPS fraud. Trump off the hook? Fox not interested in Trump? Navy drag show. Vlad threatening west. Trans cheerleader kicked off.

The chaos here is in the house! WWE Hall of Famer, singer-songwriter! Yeah! The Bulldog! The Rebel! When did he start dating Amy Schumer? I'm out. Here's Nick. Great show tonight. We got Bert Convey after his brain operation. Michael Landon. Burt Convey after his brain operation.

Michael Landon. And Dwayne Thomas running back for the Cowboys. Heroin addict. Should be a good show. You are correct. How are you, kids? It's Monday again. Unbelievable.

August. Welcome to August, ladies and gentlemen. Do you know what that means? You're going to be not even paying attention. All of a sudden, you're going to look up and turn on your TV. There's going to be a pre-NFL game, exhibition game on. And before you fart, it'll be kickoff. College game, the opening college game will actually happen before that.

That, to me, still gets me excited. Even though I know it means I'll be laying on my ass like a slob from now till about, till, well I don't know, till fucking hockey ends. But hey, I'm an American. I'm 60. I worked hard. I have a net worth of 2,800 bucks. Leave me the fuck alone. I want to thank you guys, as always, for watching. I also want to thank those of you who joined up on Patreon over this weekend,

which is starting to grow. The best way to support the show is by subscribing monthly through Patreon, where you'll get the exclusive Encore story nobody else gets each day. We've got a great Encore show today. I'm going to talk about, what are we talking

about? Limming. Oh yeah, three black kids beating a white kid to death and having their sentences reduced. You know, it's just par for the course today. Another, I guess, another example of a racist country against brown people. Suck it and fuck it. suck it and fuck it. Anyway, subscribe now to see it and to support the show. And thank you as always.

What did I do over the weekend? I ordered a AirStep pedal. I have what they call a... I'll get this out of the way. You like a little person. I was up front. I ordered an AirStep pedal, which is a...

I have something called a Spark amp. You musicians know what it is. It's made in China. It's built in for every amp that was ever made. Like, if you want to sound like Slash, you know, you just go to search, put Slash, knock it on heaven's door, and somebody will have posted the exact settings of his shit. And then you download it, now it's yours. But the only problem is it's on your iPad.

So if you're in a song where you want to play clean with no distortion, then you've got to reach over to your iPad and click it. That doesn't look professional. I'm in my room naked playing. So I got this pedal that you step on and it does all kinds of shit. Once again, three hours of reading. They don't make anything user-friendly. And no, I'm not fucking retarded.

Anyways, that and my friend here, Dallas. Excuse me. I admit I had three cigarettes this morning. My friend Dallas here, the great producer, and his lovely girlfriend Gianna have been working for how long now? About eight months. About eight months. After this, he works here.

They've been going to this space that they're leasing, that they're turning into this beautiful, beautiful prohibition-themed bar restaurant with live music. And it's, what are they, King Oliver's and what else? Yeah, King Oliver's, and in the back is our coffee shop, Agatha's. Agatha's Coffee Shop in the back, which is this, dude, me and my wife went going, well, let's see what they got here. I walked in, I'm like, holy shit.

First of all, there's way more people than I expected. There's a live New Orleans traditional jazz band that is, I'm like, holy shit. We're burying a black lady in New Orleans. People dancing, drinking. It looked like an establishment that's been around forever. And they're not going to miss. I'm telling you guys, Dallas knows what he's doing. Not here,

but there. He's got it down. Him and Gianna, they did all the painting and the, you know, it's like you step into 1912. And here's the great part. There were black and white people. Almost like even. I saw these older black guys dressed

to the nines and uh people way younger than me and uh everybody having a good time till my wife gets a few drinks in her then all fucking shit breaks loose anyways i caught her with a trombone player 88 year old black guy but i'm gonna tell you something folks i'm open-minded let it go anyways i think it's gonna be great that was just like a soft launch for that so maybe'll put up a picture or two or a clip of me doing handstands with no shirt on after a couple of artillery punches. Anyways, let's get right to the motherfucker. Oh, by the way, trade deadline tomorrow, 6 p.m. Sox should be selling like they're going out of business, what they should be doing. Everything's got to go.

D.H. is shortstop. Crazy Eddie. All right. What's the first story? Stamp out fraud. Oh, the United States. Get this. Buckle up for this one.

Trigger warning. This made me want to punch a kid in the face. The United States Postal Service is creating a division. Get this. That's the U.S. Post Office. You heard me? They shouldn't be creating anything but havoc like they usually do. Creating a division to handle what?

What do you think, folks? Election mail issues as part of an effort to ensure swift and secure delivery. Anytime the government says we're doing this to make things better for you or make things safer for you or make things easy for you. They're full of fucking shit. Who couldn't see through this after the first three sentences? Secure delivery of ballots for the 2022 midterm elections. Are you dog styling me? The post office, because they did so well. Didn't we see them burning? Didn't we have like a, remember we had a couple of postmen burning a pile of, we showed it on the show, a pile of ballots.

They were hiding them in their, beautiful. Just another example, the Dems saying, we're going to fuck you again, we're going to try. The idea behind the creation of the election and government mail services

is to steal another election. Why don't you just say it? Is to have a permanent division, yeah, dedicated to Democrats stealing elections from here on in. Dedicated to dealing with election matters. I'll say it again. Go see 2,000 mules. I don't know where you see it. It's got to be on net. No, they wouldn't even put it probably. 2,000 mules. Google it, find it, watch it, and you tell me. He won last election. Anyways, with election matters, instead of handling issues one at a time as in the past, Adrian Marshall, executive director of the division, said the services will oversee election mail strike teams.

Election mail strike teams. Probably Antifa. In every local and district community. Why are you guys changing? You still, you, oh, maybe Zuckerberg's not going to dump a half a billion in. Is that it? In some of these, huh? You can't, you only do that.

Anyways, to address any problems that might arise. Really? Like, you know, harvesting ballots and shit like that? Mules? Is that what you're talking about? We are fully committed to the secure and timely Oh my God, I'm going to shit blood. Delivery of the nation's election mail, she said.

A liar! Liar whore! Liar whore! You know it! The Postal Service was dogged by backlogs and questions ahead of the 2020. Yeah, you know why? Do you know why? Do you know why? Because you let states like Pennsylvania change the actual, their constitutional,

as far as election laws go. Two weeks before they were making changes in a few other states. That's why there's a lot of confusion. In which more than 135 million ballots were delivered to and from voters. Eventually, that's all they're going to let you do is mail shit in. Understand?

Postal Service said, how about this? You show up on the day of the election, show your fucking ID, and that's it. No voting from home, no getting there late. How about that? You have to get off your fucking ass. I don't even know why I'm getting excited. It's all rigged anyways. Postal Service said it delivered 97.9% of ballots from voters to election officials within three days, and 99.89% of ballots were delivered within seven days in the 2020 election. My mother's box. The Postal Service is sending guidance letters to election officials in each state.

Let me translate that. The feds are telling the states, hey, man, follow our fucking lead. You ain't going to get no money for whatever. Anyways, to election officials in each state and territory this week. Postal workers are already hard at work stealing, I mean, delivering ballots this year. So far, nearly 40 million ballots have been mailed to and from voters during primary elections, officials said. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation.

Cunts. Whoops. I forgot that I'm trying to keep some of it clean so we have that chance. I forgot all about that already. Anyhow. Yeah, what could go wrong with putting the U.S. Post Office in charge? What could go wrong? See, I figured it out.

By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yelnik McGwawa. That's the stupidest name I've ever heard. Sam, please. You're talking about our next president. That's the best show ever. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Anyways, guys, like I just said to Dalitz, could they be any more transparent

about what they're trying to do? I wonder when monkey parks, you know, this is what they did. They took the formula they used last time because it worked. Let's change the disease to monkey parks, which affects 12 gay guys in New York and pretend it's a full-blown fucking

global problem. And yeah, and you know what? We were sloppy. They kind of caught us actually cheating last time. Let's open our own division at the post office and keep it, you know, that way we can keep our hands around it. Your sister-in-law is a pig, is a pig. So yeah, again, I debate whether I vote. You know what I mean? I'd rather riot in the streets, even with my 60-year-old shoulders and knees stuff. By the way, I went to put my hands behind my, I was watching TV yesterday. This thing almost came out. This is the one that I came back from a surgery when I was in college. And it was a week, two weeks after surgery. I had it when I was on Christmas break. And I'm on the back of a toboggan with three other guys holding a beer,

standing up, going over like a five-foot jump. Ripped it open. I ripped the fucking scar open. And then it got, and see, you can see my shoulder. I'm not very, this shirt doesn't do it, but this shoulder is, it's not symmetrical. Can't ask any of the guys that sleep with you, like, gross.

Anyways, let's move on to our boy. Who might that be? Trump. I don't know why people have such a problem with even people I know. Anyways, Trump off the hook, question mark. The United States Department of Justice, that's the DOJ if you jerk offs, is arguing the founder and members of the Oath Keepers militia group who entered the U.S. Capitol on January 6th, they cannot blame former President Donald Trump for their actions. Were they trying to?

That's kind of a chicken shit move. DOJ lawyers argue, I got questions about this though. D.O. Joy, D.O. Joy, Dear Joy, D.O.J. lawyers argue Trump lacked the authority to authorize an attack on the Capitol. Let me ask you a question. They make that statement. Now, when they go after him personally, isn't he vindicated because of that? Look, I'm no lawyer, although I play a bit on TV. Well, that was a gynecologist and it was in my cousin's garage. I was 12. Listen. Lack the authority to authorize an attack on the Capitol. So I think, I don't know if that lifts him off the hook.

Probably not. You know how it works. Which should prevent Oath Keeper's lawyers from blaming the former president. The United States said in a filing, ting-tong-a-zing-ga. President Trump did not have the authority to permit or authorize a conspiracy

to forcibly oppose the authority of the government or the execution of the laws of the United States, nor could he have lawfully. Well, I guess then you can read that sentence two ways. You can say he's guilty of something because he didn't have the authority to do it. You know what I mean? You can read it that way. Again, folks, 2.4, business administration. Nor could he have lawfully sanctioned the attack on the United States Capitol on January 6th or any of the other criminal conduct, you know, pushing and shoving, knocking over lamps and shit,

that horrible bloodbath that day. Allegedly perpetrated by defendants. So Trump, on the surface, it sounds like if he read that, he'd be excited, yeah? Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. Trump's critic often blamed him for inciting the Capitol riot during a speech held hours before the breach. Which was so stupid. The House of Reps ultimately impeached Trump because they're lefty, cocksucking, cum-guzzling maggots in the aftermath of the Capitol riot because they're part of the system, part of the, you know, deep state.

Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. So they're trying to pin january 6 on trump even though that we have evidence of him saying this marching over to the capitol building to peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard you know what's so funny about that it took me about 20 minutes to find that one. NBC had a bunch of them where they take that part out peacefully. So did a bunch of other stations. Had that whole thing, except

for him saying that. They're just filthy fucking zero. Zero morality. Federal prosecutors also want the judge to prohibit the defendants from Zero, zero morality. Federal prosecutors also want the judge to prohibit the defendants from arguing that any failure to act by law enforcement rendered their conduct legal. They were saying that they were waved in by some of the Capitol Police.

We actually have footage of them moving barriers. Actual cops with uniforms on. But why would you want to believe you're lying? Failure to act by enforcement rendered their conduct legal. Accused rioters often argue they were effectively led into the Capitol by members of the Capitol Police. The federal trial of Oath Keepers founder, Elmer, that's a down South founder, Elmer, that's a down South, Elmer, definitely running a gas station somewhere in Stewart Roads.

Oh, that kind of, and other members of the militia, there he is. He looks like he means business. Other members of the militia group is set to begin their trial on September 26th. The judge in the case recently denied Rhodes' request to dismiss the charges against him. Well, I'm sure the judge is just a regular blue collar guy. And rejected a request to move the trial outside of Washington, D.C. due to potential jury pool bias. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. They're out of order. I agree. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order.

They're out of order. I wonder how white that jury's going to be. Well, Nick, why should that? Shut it. Shut the fuck up. You learn nothing from the OJ trial. It takes one. What?

You know what I'm talking about. Are you people? I love you. I'm just busting balls. All three is who might watch the show. Anyways. Hey guys, please take a moment and click the share button to share today's episode with a friend or a coworker or a goddamn enemy. Nothing helps the show grow as much as Viagra and alcohol. As word of mouth, and I thank all of you who have continued to let people know about us. Please spread the word,

will you? Pretend it's monkeypox up in that motherfucker. Let's stay on Donald Trump, the man of the myth. I don't think he's going to announce until after the midterm. Again, I don't think he's going to announce until like after the midterm. You know, again, it's weird because he's crushed. He's crushing everybody, including DeSantis in any polls that are done,

which is kind of surprising. I thought it would be. What's that, sir? So it might be the other way. I kind of. I mean, who knows? It's a long time between now and then, but DeSantis has been positioning himself on all the right issues.

Anybody whose mission it is to kick the shit out of Disney and all that grooming going on in classrooms, I would think would have the edge. I don't care who it is. Oh, it's way early. Give it time. Oh, yes. Absolutely. The New York Times reported Friday

that Fox News has not, this kind of shocked me a little bit, has not had Donald Trump on its network. I said Donna Trump. Sure, Donna, Donna.

You know why? There is none. In over 100 days, which the paper said was part of a larger strategy to eliminate the former president. Again, this is the New York Times. Consider the fucking source, okay? To eliminate the former president

as a major GOP player. By the way, you know, you don't need Fox News when, you know, it is surprising. I guess Hannity hasn't had him on, but he does have a radio show. I don't know if they covered that. And Levin has a, with zillions following. Anyways, Trump's last appearance on Fox News came on April 13th on Hannity's show, which is surprising because if you remember when Donald Trump was the president, Hannity had his ear. I mean, they would talk nightly. It was like Hannity was running somebody's shit.

I mean, they would talk nightly. It was like Hannity was running somebody's shit. The paper said Trump believes Fox's strategy of shunning him is an effort in effectively displacing him, that's their take, from the news cycle and as de facto leader of the Republican party. So they're giving him the old snubberoo, apparently. You get nothing. You lose! I just pushed on my imaginary glass.

Fucking tripping over here. The decision to shun Trump has been made at the highest levels. Again, keep in mind, this is the New York Times. Whoever's writing it and they're slant on it. Might be true, might not be true. Fox's parent company and is backed by its billionaire chairman, Rupert Murdoch, and his son, who I don't trust,

company CEO, excuse me, Lachlan Murdoch. I think it's the son. You know, he's more, just because of his age, more of a tendency to, you know, we're going to go another way. Both are Republicans, but are said to have developed a strong distaste for Trump.

Why? I mean, Trump has called some of these people out on different shows. out on different shows. And, you know, I think the catalyst for that was when they called Arizona for Biden, and it wasn't even all the votes were in it. Anyhow, earlier this month, the Murdoch-owned newspaper, the New York Post, and the Wall Street Journal published harsh rebukes of Trump's actions regarding January 6th while strongly opposing a Trump bid for president in 2024. That almost tells you you should vote for Trump. Whenever the fucking media, they're all in bed. Fox to some degree, okay?

You can't be in the media and be completely honest. And again, it's being called by 10 guys. I don't know if it's so. There's 10 guys running the whole planet that are making these calls. It's creepy, folks. That's all I'm going to tell you. The Times said Trump's failure to accept the 2020 election result was at the root of Murdoch's, oh, it was, criticism of the former president.

Really? Mr. Murdoch, I'm not liking you right now. A view shared by Senate minority. Now that just proves it's bullshit. Mitch McConnell, who plays both sides in offense, there he is, the pelican-throated. Throw him a fucking fish. Look at him.

This guy has been, talk about a career politician. He is the problem with your bitch glasses and your bitch lips. Don't like him. I don't like him whatsoever. You hear that, people? Well, I was going to say on the left. You're not watching the show.

Anyways, a view shared by this bitch, Sharon McConnell, Kentucky. Trump suggested former House Speaker Paul Ryan's sitting on Fox Corps' Board of Directors. I forgot about that, actually. Is behind the shadow banning of Trump. He's another rhino scumbag who I was glad to see take a walk. And I guess Trump is on to you, pal.

Don't you ever try to fuck me. Don't ever try to fuck me. I don't care. You can give me a hair job. Don't fuck me. I am the voice of this country. Meanwhile, the Times said Fox has sought to displace Trump with other GOP 2024 contenders,

Trump with other GOP 2024 contenders, notably George H.W. Bush. No, DeSantis, obviously, of Florida. I'm trying to think. Again, people and a close friend of mine who's smart, we disagree on the Trump thing. People, you know, he's too divided. You're giving the office of the presidency of the United States too much weight. Trump's a dummy. None of them are smart.

Seriously, George W. Bush was a dope. The last smart one was his old man. Anybody heads up the CIA and has people whacked? And George W. Bush might have had some brains, and Reagan had a little. But, I mean, come on. Fucking Obama? Most overrated mind ever. Remember he said Marine Corps, not Marine Corps.

I rest my case. On one thing, Nick? Yeah. Fucking moron. Overrated speaker also. Anyways, not that overrated that he could fool most white Americans. Anyway, so they think this guy might be more palatable to, you know, voters. A recent Fox News.com report featured man onon-the-street interviews with Trump supporters. How do we know that? Who did not want him to run again and unanimously back DeSantis for 2024.

When Trump was told that, he said, I'm staying right here. Interesting. I like Ron DeSantis. I'm not going to lie. I don't care. Either one of them. I just like Trump for the entertainment value. Those goddamn rallies were like comedy specials on HBO in the 80s.

Go ahead. Go home. Go home to your mommy. I should try working out now. Here's my favorite part. Trump pointing when he's giving the speech. That's the audience out there. And's my favorite part. Trump pointing when he's giving the speech, that's the audience out there. And he'd do this. Turn his back like he's a wrestler. Anyhow, I think we'd do fine

with either or. People, you know, oh, he's too abrasive, too whatever the, what? My brother had a great quote. He said, if he was 1% less bombastic than he was, he wouldn't have got, they would have, you have to be that over the top when the media is run by the opposition. I sort of agree with that. Anyways, let's move on to happy endings. The show wasn't about this weekend, I'll tell you that much.

Saturday was, it's called happy, no, it should be harpy. Huh? Was that an R? Seriously? All right, I can't. Saturday, harpy ending, folk. That's right, harpy ending. Why? Well, there. Saturday, Harpy ending, folk. That's right. Harpy ending.

Why? Well, there's somebody named Harpy in it. Saturday was no exception. That's how it starts? Yeah, I don't get it. Well, if you don't get it. Oh, is that? No, I know.

Yeah, the guy was writing in first person. You're right. I shouldn't have picked that. Anyway, Saturday was no exception as far as the Fag Fest. It was the day of Joint Base Langley Eustace. That's J-B-L-E, we'll refer to, Jubilee. First Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Summer Festival. We're talking about the U.S. Navy now.

Featuring what else? A drag show. What does all this woke nonsense have to do with winning wars? Oh, never mind that. That's the old white supremacist military. The new diverse military has other priorities altogether. Boy, we being fucking, this is like a practical joke being played on the United States. Nobody's standing up and stopping. The festival, according to the Daily Wire, I just realized why I think I want Trump over DeSantis. DeSantis is too much of a good politician.

Funny things happen when they get into D.C. Trump is more of a, fuck you, I don't care. I'm 78. I got billions. I got a supermodel licking my ass. The festival, according to the Daily Wire, will feature a series of performances and speeches, including a poem.

Oh, boy. A poem on diversity, equity, and inclusion. Again, we're talking about the military, folks. And a drag show, because I guess most guys in the Navy want that. By Joshua Kelly. Well, Nick, who the fuck's Josh Kelly?

He performs under the moniker Harpy Daniels. Harpy Daniels. Here he, she, it is. Look at this. This is a good. I still have to remind some viewers because they get. This is considered a trans woman woman meaning a guy who became a woman um and you wonder why recruitment's down we always know the navy was into this

they also tell you that be an army guy even i know living in new york city on fucking uh memorial day weekend what do they call that when all the guys come ashore? That's right. Fag. Come ashore. They come on the shore. They come ashore. Anyways, this is a guy in the Navy. Go ahead, Harpy. Hi, all you fabulous faces.

It's your girl, Harpy Daniels. I'm so excited to tell you all that on July 10th, yours truly, here in Williamsburg, Virginia, is going to be performing at Busch Gardens. Yes, you heard it here. The it's going to be performing at Busch Gardens. Yes, you heard it here. The Navy drag queen herself is performing at Busch Gardens for all the children from... A drag queen's performing at Busch Gardens? Yeah.

All right. 11, 3, and 6 p.m. I'm so excited, so honored. I've built myself from the ground up since after being in Japan and now being here. Take a big step back. What a true honor. I cannot believe it.

I want to thank so much to Hampton Roads Business Outreach Harbor for having me, along with Busch Gardens themselves and our show director, Jennifer Warner, for booking me. It's such going to be a phenomenal show. I'm excited, like, Busch Gardens, girl. Like, the, the. All right. I'm gay. I'm really right I I'm gay I'm really gay I'm super duper

gay I'm gayer than a rainbow I'm gayer than I'll say gay I'm really gay I'm truly very gay you caught me I'm a lesbian and I like it that way girls I love their hair.

The Russians. This isn't some outsider, guys. It's not some outside and non-military gray drag show either. Harpy Daniels actually is a yeoman. Yo, man. Yo, woman. Yo, bitch. Third class.

What does that mean, Dallas? I never understood the classes. The Navy, I don't get. I don't know the ranks. But they have class in the armies too, right? No, we have enlisted ranks. Officers. Yeah, it's enlisted and officers that's across the board but i don't understand the way they label their enlisted ranks

but like don't in the army you don't have first class something we have one as a private first class yeah what does that mean that's it it's just a title what what does that mean you have a slick sleeve private which is e1 then you have e2 which is E1. Then you have E2, which is just private. And then you have E3, which is private first class. And then it goes into the specialist rank at E4. I got to look up the... NCO and sergeants. Yeah, like even the word NCO and...

Non-commissioned officer. No, that's right. What's the other fucking word? There's a million terms that I don't know the history of it. Again, because of... The Navy stuff, I don't know. I could tell you all the... Oh, blaze.

You were in there for a year. You got kicked out. Again, because of what? The Navy stuff, I don't know. I could tell you all the other stuff. Oh, please. You were in there for a year. You get kicked out. Yes, girl. I suck cock. I don't anymore. He actually joined the Navy in order to finance his drag career. Well, let me just push back. No, he joined the Navy the same reason most gay guys joined the military.

To be around other guys in the shower, period. Who are fucking rough and tough. You sticking with that, Nick? Yeah. I've been right. I started saying it 20 years ago, and the way it's progressing, I seem to have been onto something. What better place to meet buff

guys? Well, you could go to a bodybuilding contest. That's too obvious. You show up in a giant, silly Kentucky hat, drinking a mint julep. Doing drag allows me to embrace my feminine side. You don't say, chuckles. Embrace this, you cheese eater.

And allows me to bring my diversity and creativity out. You know what that is? Show business, not the military. Go out to L.A., blow a few old Jews. I want that in the show. When I put on, he says, when I put on face, it's face of art and creativity. When you put on face, it's somebody's ass on your face. The whole thing was approved at the top.

JBLE's commander, Colonel Gregory Poopshoot Ballou, seen here, green-lighted the festival. It was off to the races, or that is, off to the drag show. And not just a drag show, the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Summer Festival. How many times do you have to hear those words in the last couple, huh? It's a mantra, don't you? Festival will also feature bouncy houses. So there's going to be kids there, I'm guessing.

That's good. And face painting for children. I'll repeat that. Drag queens, bouncy houses, face painting, ass painting, paint painting for children. You go fuck yourself, convict! No, no, no.

Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! All that, you realize, right? We like the warts and all. The U.S. Air Force didn't even have an office of diversity and inclusion until Joe Biden started pretending to be president. I don't know who wrote this, but I love him. Anybody with me?

But now that seems to be all that it's about. J.B.E. I'll call it Jubilee, explained in a statement that the goal of the summer festival was to brainwash, indoctrinate, turn the greatest military into a fag fest so somebody can march and take us over. No, they said provide education and awareness, increase collaboration through outreach, give me an outreach, and recognize the diverse composition of JBLE. JBLE leadership is committed to celebrating, oh my, this is just so much psychobabble,

differences and cultivating an inclusive environment where every airman, soldier, civilian feels value. That's not how the world works. Get it? They're not all valued. Some people don't deserve to be valued. What's the ID network? You got some of them

in your ranks too. I can't stop watching that shit. They hook you a minute and a half in. They really know how to do it. They're like, Diane met Ted at a bar in Las Vegas. It was just a normal Wednesday night. Before they go to break, they're like, but there were signs. They show a picture of bloody footprints

in a bedroom. You're like, that's a sign. Let me take notes. Anyways. Hey, guys. Thanks to those of you who have ordered a cameo. I like doing them. These things are actually funny. If you want to order

a personal message from me to roast your brother or wish happy birthday to your husband or whatever, go to cameo, search for Nick DiPaolo or go to the link

on your screen. When you go there and you can see some of the cameos I've done before you order one, you know, excuse me. It's a fun way to zing your friends. I make a video thing. It's fun.

Give me a little information about that. Again, lately I'm getting like, he's got two feet in a left hand. Okay, great. Anyways. Let's move on, shall we? Vlad's all wet with the latest threat. Is this the final? Two more.

Oh, boy. Russian President Vladimir... In the article, they have Putin signed, but it's together as one word. Yeah. I thought that was some type of maybe German. Putin signed. Vladimir Putin signed, but it's together as one word. Yeah, I thought that was some type of maybe German. Putin signed. Vladimir Putin signed a new naval doctrine that targets the United States, specifically Nick DiPaolo's house in Savannah.

What did I do, you fucking commie cocksucker? As Russia's top global adversary. This is a good picture of Putin. He don't look like that no more. Look it, he looks mad right there. Somebody just pinched his 18-year-old girlfriend's ass. Putin signed the

55-page document during an appearance in St. Petersburg to mock Russia's Navy Day. What, no queers? No drag queens? No harpy? Seriously? That's what you do on Navy Day in Russia. You sign a paper declaring you're arch enemy. That's what you do.

We got a picture of him signing. He got all cocky after he signed it. The Russian leader delivered a speech announcing Russia's plans to become a great maritime power, saying resisting the United States is a top goal. See, they're not afraid to say shit like that. You go fuck yourself, convict! That's where I was supposed to go. The strategic policy of the USA to dominate the world's oceans

threatens Russia's... Really? You're just realizing that now? We've been dominating the seas, you know, for the last 300 years. For the love of Jesus. I don't know what we got coming. Navy?

Here we go. Oh, yeah. It's the last time that we had any... You guys remember that? I know a lot of people, my fans, you're my age, remember McHale's Navy with Binghamton. What do you know, McHale? Ernest Borgnine, who got an Academy Award for a...

Was it a movie or or play called Marty. He's a great actor. He was McHale in this. It's beautiful to watch careers go. Very funny show, though. Anyways, Putin's speech. Boy, I forgot to tell you this. I touched my balls this morning. You know, scratch or whatever.

When I was peeing, they caught on fire. I'm not kidding you. I'm like, ah. And it was getting worse and worse. And then you put water on my butt. And it's like throwing gas on the fucker. And I go, what the fuck was that from? Then I go into the kitchen to get coffee

and I see a red chili pepper that i had i i had put i had eggplant palm yesterday it was still chopped on the thing i must have not washed my hands before i touched my peepee anyways back to the show putin's speech made no mention of his ongoing invasion of Ukraine, however. You left that out, huh? You fucking hypocrite. Putin went on to claim that a number of warships will soon be equipped with hypersonic weapons. The key thing here is the capability of the Russian Navy, Putin said. It is able to respond with lightning.

I thought he was dying of cancer. Lightning speed to all who decide to infringe on our sovereignty and freedom. Oh, calm down, bitch. Putin also noted the expansion of NATO as a top threat to Russia months after Sweden and Finland officially joined the Western Alliance. Finland shares an 800. I didn't realize that. I don't, my geography sucks. Finland shares an 800 mile I didn't realize that. My geography sucks. Finland shares an 800-mile border with Russia. How come they're not sneaking in like Mexicans do? Significantly

expanding potential friction between NATO and Russia. And I told you, I don't blame Putin for that. Fucking Biden. Let's build up our alliance. It's right next door. Russians are going to sit there and go, what are you doing? You know? It's like when they were putting cube back in the 60s,

missiles in 90 miles from whatever the fuck, Florida. Anyways, Putin's speech came on the same day as a drone attack at the headquarters of Russia's Black Sea Fleet on Sunday. Russian officials say the attack, which saw a drone drop an unknown explosive device, injuring at least six people. They think it was the U.S. Navy because the bomb was made of lipstick. Those metal containers. It was fabulous.

Exactly. Oh, the colors were beautiful. It is unclear who was responsible for the attack, yet he signs a thing declaring us the... Well, I wonder who he's got on his mind. Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander. We intercept intercept Dragonfly

Wolf 10. Colorful names. Dallas lips that every time it comes up. It's very funny coming out of a U.S. soldier. Oh, there's a little stinging still. Mother. Boy, did that hurt.

Anyways, finally tonight. Finally tonight. I've got to rip through this. I don't want to go over 40. Female cheerleader with a cock. A transgender cheerleader who was born a biological male was kicked out of Texas cheerleading camp and given a criminal citation

after allegedly choking a female teammate. Your son looks like a fag to me. Ah, the homosexuals. So he tweets, well guys, I'm officially retired as a cheerleader as of last night at 5.30am. This is a guy who I'd fuck.

A girl on the team was being very disrespectful and told me I am a man with a penis. Like you can't fucking, how do you argue that? And that guys should not be on the team. She's very smart. He's a fag. Oh, what makes you say that? The cheerleader Avery Chanel Medlock wrote on Facebook last week,

I stood up for myself, and she called her mom and dad because she was scared because I stood up for myself. What called her mom and dad because she was scared because I stood up for myself. What is this, fifth grade? Her father, the girl who was upset about this, her father said she still has testosterone and a penis and I will kill anyone who comes after my daughter. I love it. You ever seen a grown man naked? The took place at ranger college where police responded to a dispute between the members of the team according to facebook posts from team members medlock alleges that the teammate made transphobic and racist remarks before the altercation with the cell phone video showing other cheerleaders hiding in a room from an agitated trans medlock agitated probably had a heart on the

father that's agitated or aroused the father of the girl whom medlock allegedly choked was also called to the scene by his daughter and he has begun pushing who would have guessed a guy in a woman's locker room who's out of you know there's violence pushing for police to release body camera and closed circuit tv footage of the incident i I asked you what, this is what the father says of the girl who's being choked by this trans. I asked you what would you have done when receiving a call at one o'clock in the morning from your daughter stating they had locked themselves in the room with other girls, the father Mike Jones wrote on Facebook. At no time did I ever say anything about your race or your gender, and I believe them.

That's a pretty cheerleader. Oh, cut it out. To each his own. Live and let live. Fuck that. Arrest. China has some things right. Anyways, wonder how that would fly in Iran.

Off of buildings. God damn it, you beat me to it. Dallas scores. That goes in there. Good for you, Dallas. Good for you. Don't take no shit off nobody, spider. Off of buildings.

That proves Dallas is right where he should be. Mentally, he's funny, fucking angry. Wants to kill somebody. What, he doesn't? If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? That is it, kids.

Had a great time. Not a bad Monday, gotta be honest. Gonna go home and learn that second solo to Knockin' on Heaven's Door so I can play in a band on a Viagra commercial. Five other guys my age.

You know, those white guys with khakis and they... Anyways. Tons of pussies show up at the fucking split-level ranch in suburban Pennsylvania. Alrighty then. Again, don't forget to sign up at patreon.com or thecomicsgym.com.

Go to nickdip.com for merchandise and show dates. Also, shoutout.fans. It's like Cameo on kind of a patriotic version. That is it, you guys. Thank you. I will say it. You're very welcome.

See you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day. 🎵 guitar solo Thanks for watching!