The Nick DiPaolo Show - Vaccine Fails 246 Michiganders | Nick Di Paolo Show #521

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

Fully vaccinated "breakout" cases of COVID emerge in MI. Former NFL player kills five in mass shooting. Yet another Cuomo accuser steps forward.

Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching the show and I want to encourage you to keep contributing to keep this show and free speech free for everyone whether they want to hear it or not. Click on this video or the link on the screen to make a contribution of any amount. I'll read your name on the show, but more importantly, you'll truly be supporting a great cause without Big Brother taking their cut or limiting the message. Thank you guys so much. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, final day of the week of Thursday from the great state of Georgia. How's it going, folks? Welcome to the show. Another weekend. What do we got for UFC, Jason? Do we know this weekend?

We got Kevin Holland andvin vittori oh a guinea versus black fella that's usually see that type of fight about a parking space in brooklyn but uh oh yeah or georgia exact that's right oh my god how did i miss that he just said or in georgia because i just had a little my first interracial spat with a black woman who works in the building, young, younger woman, much younger than Mr. Hooper here. And, uh, uh, I pulled my car in. Okay. I almost didn't because her car actually as women park is her back tire is in the land, the pockets, but I'm trying to get it. In other words, she parked crooked, is her back tire is in the parking spot. I'm trying to get it.

In other words, she parked crooked. But I squeezed in there anyways. And when I opened my door, I opened it real slow. I tapped her fucking door, not knowing she was in the car. It doesn't matter, but the windows were tinted, and she's black, so what am I, you know, come on. Anyways, you know, I tapped her door. And, of course, she couldn't let it go.

This being 2021, her being a young black woman and me being a crusty white fella who's to blame for everything. She gets out and she goes, you hit my door with your door. And I said, no. First thing out of my mouth, I said, I'm sorry. I apologize. First thing out of my mouth. Because that's what I would want to hear if it was the other way around. And but she couldn't leave it alone. She couldn't fucking leave it alone.

She mumbled something and, you know, watch what you do, whatever. And I said, hey, you parked crooked in all due respect. She was standing on her side. The drivers, I go, look how much space you have over here. You have three feet. And I go, look how how much space you have on on her side, the driver's. I go, look how much space you have over here. You have three feet. And I go, look how much space you have on the other side, about an inch. Don't give me no attitude. Oh, I can see why. My apology, me saying I'm sorry is giving you attitude.

So, you know, you give me all attitude and stuff. And I said, hey, learn to park, whatever. And she kept fucking ba-ba-ba and started naturally walking the way I was walking behind me. And as I was about to shut the door down, she's, you know, she's staring at me. And I said, learn to fucking park. And she said, so what, as the door slammed shut. I didn't hear the rest of it. Literally the mentality of an eight-year-old.

But what's new in the country? Hmm. That could have happened with a white guy, Nick, or an Asian. Yeah, but you know what? It hasn't yet. Fucking my 90 years of driving. I'm not supposed to draw conclusions. Shut it. Suck it. Need it. Let's get right to COVID, huh?

The fake hoax that the world's buying into. Every time I watch a sporting event and I see some stupid bucks sitting in the bleaches. 70 miles. I mean, $2 tickets. Sitting by themselves with a mask on. I try to climb through my TV and throw them off the balcony. cells with a mask on. I try to climb through my TV and throw them off the balcony. Anyways, 246 fully vaccinated people in Michigan test positive for guess what? Rabies? No, COVID-19.

Three of them died. Nick, why don't you want to get the shot? Because I'm reading a lot of this shit. And you know what? If the left-wing media who's all for this hoax, is reporting deaths, they must be hiding one. Ten for every one. Call me paranoid. And maybe I am. Maybe I'm cynical. But, you know what? It served me well. Look at me.

I'm 78. The potential so-called vaccine breakthrough cases were recorded between January 1st and March 31st. Eleven of the residents were hospitalized and three died. and March 31st. 11 of the residents were hospitalized and three died. A spokesman with the State Department of Health and Human Services told the Epoch Times via email, the people who died were all 65 years of age or older. No kidding. Data about hospitalization status for 129 cases were incomplete. And for the other set, hospitalization status was reported as unknown. Yeah, right.

Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. I will not. The fully vaccinated cases were identified through weekly reviews of data on all confirmed and probable cases of COVID-19. The disease caused by the CCP virus, if you didn't know. State officials compare the data to records of every person who has been fully infected. Well, what does that mean,

Nick? Fully infected. Fully vaccinated. I'm sorry, I said fully infected. Fully vaccinated. I'm in a hurry to get out of here. I have a date with a 12-year-old Cub Scout. I have a date with a 12-year-old Cub Scout. What? Fully vaccinated means two weeks have elapsed since a person has received two doses of the Pfizer or Moderna vaccine or one single shot of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. What's Johnson & Johnson? Like wild turkey? It's stronger than the other?

These are individuals who have had a positive test 14 or more days after the last dose in the vaccine series. Some of these individuals may ultimately be excluded from this list due to continuing to test positive from a recent infection prior to being fully vaccinated. These cases are undergoing further review to determine if they meet other CDC criteria for determination of potential breakthrough, including the absence of a positive antigen or PCR test less than 45 days prior to the post-vaccination positive test. Do you got all that, folks? Doesn't matter if you don't, because it's a bunch of horses shit, unless you're fucking 70 years old. I'll say it again.

When you hear, oh, cases went up 2% in California. So another 780,000 people got colds. This is the silliest. And again, don't take my word for it. Fucking read. Go look, Google the world-leading epidemiologists. They're all cackling over this shit. In general, these persons have been more likely to be asymptomatic or mildly symptomatic compared with vaccinated persons.

Please note, to date, more than 1.7 million missioners have been, had completed their COVID-19 vaccine. Some of these cases may be ruled out via additional investigation. According to the Food and Drug Administration, Pfizer's vaccine is considered 95% effective in preventing severe symptoms of COVID-19. Moderna's is 94%. And Johnson & Johnson's is approximately, like a ninth hitter in a lineup, 67%. What happened there? That's because 40% of their vaccines made of baby powder. Get out of here, you silly prick.

While the majority of the population develops full immunity within 14 days of completion of the vaccine series, a small proportion appear to take longer to mount a full antibody response. You know, the dead ones. The MDHHS spokesman said that. I don't believe her because she's wearing a wig at the time and had a scar on her left, a teardrop tattoo. Let's just say that one. So it takes a while, huh? I'm not patient. Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go. That's me. Wait and see if I have antigens. We expect to see breakthrough cases with any vaccination,

including all the COVID-19 vaccines. The number of potential cases identified to date is not in excess of what might be expected with vaccines. With 95% efficacy, studies indicate that even if vaccinated people do become ill, they are far less likely to experience severe illness requiring hospitalization or resulting in death. Well, that's good news. But tell us about the ones who dropped dead four minutes later. I don't care if they're 100 years old. What happened? Officials say the potential for breakthrough cases

is why they still encourage mission leaders to take precautions while out in public, such as wearing masks, washing hands, social distancing, caca jerking off your cat, playing dominoes. Ah! Social distancing, even after they're fully vaccinated. Shut up! And what's the point?

It's been proven people who are vaccinated don't have it and they can't get other people sick. So why would you say that? It's like... Hey, you guys hear that? Somebody just got the Johnson & Johnson shot in the building. Now I have to see if my car is key, but I got out there.

Probably used our nails to do it. Listen. We've had enough. Quit moving the goal pole. Vaccine, so that's not enough. You should still wear. And again, anything that can be wiped out by a shot of Purell really isn't a dangerous disease.

I've been saying that since day fucking one. So just shut it. You need to shut the fuck up. I guess Biden, I didn't get this because we were coming on the air and Biden gave a speech this morning or whatever about gun control. And I only heard one line of it. And he fucking lied through his teeth about when they banned assault weapons, how it really helped. And it didn't fuck. And you can look up a thousand studies, uh, how it did nothing, absolutely nothing.

Even people on the left will tell you that, but not, not Kamala Harris and Biden. Anyways, why am I bringing that up? Well, there was another mass shooting this time. And again, I like how we focus on the weapon and not the former NFL player. He killed five people, five white people. This should have been a reverse the races segment, producer. A former NFL player shot and killed a doctor, his wife, again, all white, and two grandchildren. Can you fucking...

And one other person before turning the gun on himself in a horrifying scene at a South Carolina home, according to the Associated Press. There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! Philip Adams, who had stints with the Seahawks, 49ers, Raiders, and we think this is what did it, Jets, sent him over the open fire at the home in Rock Hill a late Wednesday afternoon. Killed in the shooting was Dr. Robert Leslie, 70 years old, his wife Barbara, 69, two of their grandchildren, nine-year-old Ada Leslie,

five-year-old Noah Leslie. Can you fucking imagine? And again, I'm sure it was brought up today because Biden was given a gun control speech, so they might cover this one, even though the perpetrator, once again, you know, I understand most mass shootings are white people, but not really, that's another false thing, you know, you hear about all those shootouts with gang, fucking, and in Chicago every weekend, more than four people get shot a lot of time, and that's a mass shooting, but we won't count that, we'll just keep saying it's white people do it, Adams died by suicide, oh, now I'm gonna to make a prediction as I do on the show. And as usual, I can almost guarantee it. They'll do an autopsy and they'll study his brain and say that he suffered from CTE from football and it was depression that drove him. and it was depression that drove him.

Even though it drove him to a white family. We don't even know the connection. But again, reverse the races. Imagine if that's a white guy shooting up a black family. Are you fucking kidding me? A fifth victim, James Lewis, 38, who was working at the home at the time, was also fatally shot.

A sixth person who was not immediately identified was hospitalized with a serious gunshot wound, authorities said. I mean, what is it? What's the world coming to? I guarantee Biden must have fucking harped on it. I might be wrong. Although, again, never let a tragedy go to waste. Investigators said they have identified suspect in the mass shooting and detained him after finding him in a nearby home. What the fuck? The suspect who was not immediately identified

was, we know who he is, right? Did I say it at the beginning? Philip Adams? Is that what you said? Why do you not seem sure I'm confused too it seems like the bottom part of the story was written before the top

at a time when we didn't know the suspect it mentions who he was at the beginning right anyway he's taken into custody following an 8 hour manhunt. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Dr. Leslie lives in Rock Hill with his wife, or dead, Barbara, and their golden retriever, Moses,

several miniature horses, goats, donkeys, chickens, and a lot of bees. The bio continues. They have four grown children, eight growing grandchildren. He enjoyed golf, traveling, and bagpiping. A spokesman for the York County Sheriff's Office told the newspaper it's unclear what connection, if any, Adams had with the Leslie family. We are all shocked this could happen here in your county, spokesman Trent Ferris said. This is a mass shooting.

Normally you think of a movie theater or a mall, but we are treating this as a mass shooting because there were five victims killed. Ferris noted how prominent Leslie had been in the Rock Hill community. He was my doctor. If that says enough, Ferris told the state. Wow. Again. Again, it's the old white people that are boogeymen. We're the violent. Are you guys following what's happening to the people who are arrested on January 6th in the D.C. jail? You know, Chewbacca, the guy with the fur and the fucking he's he's been beaten severely.

I don't know if he's the one. One of them is beaten so severely he has seizures now. He was unconscious overnight for like 12 hours. And some of the other ones be put in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. be put in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. And meanwhile, these cocksuckers like Biden and Harris are concentrating on the people that were there January 6th who weren't even armed. They're still in jail, some of them.

A lot of them. You can't hold something. They're not even charged with anything yet. Can you fucking imagine? It's getting real creepy. Again, I have faith in my country. There'll be blowback in the way of you know what? All righty then. Oh, what's this? Another more black crime a group calling itself white lies matter has reportedly stolen a monument to confederate president jefferson davis and is holding it hostage how do you hold a statue hostage shut up we won't feed you while threatening that it will

be turned into a toilet if ransom demands are not met. These blacks, who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. The Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair, which is a chair carved out of stone, was stolen from Selma, Alabama's Old Live Oak Cemetery in March. White Lies Matter took responsibility for the theft in emails reportedly sent to multiple local media outlets. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. The ransom the group is demanding is for the group United Daughters of the Confederacy. They want them to hang a banner.

They want this group, Daughters of the Confederacy, to hang a banner bearing a quote from Assata Shakur, that's Tupac's fucking mother or aunt, does it really matter? Outside, she's a cop killer, by the way, outside its headquarters in Richmond, Virginia. White Lies Matters is demanding, she killed a state cop back in the 70s, and she's been living in Cuba ever since. White Lies Matters is demanding that the banner be hung. Listen to these cocksuckers. For 24 hours beginning on Friday, the anniversary of the Confederacy's Civil War surrender. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fail you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Failure to do so, ooh, aren't they threatening, will result in the monument, an ornate stone chair, immediately being turned into a toilet. The group's email states, according to AL.com,

if they do display the banner, not only will we return the chair intact, but we will clean it to boot. Oh, wow. And I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever. When I play that, I mean just the small percentage of black people that just hate fucking white people. We took their toy. This is the White Lies Matter terror group talking. We took their toy and we don't feel guilty about it. They continue.

They never play with it anyways. They just, how do you play with a 600 pound stone chair? They just want it there to remind us what they've done, what they are still willing to do. Fucking wow. But the South won't rise again. I fucking dare you to show me somebody that said that, that's not in the Klan or something in the last hundred years. But the South won't rise again. Oh, wait a minute. I said that on stage and I was being heckled in fucking Atlanta way not as the confederacy uh because

that coalition left out a large portion of its population all that's left of that nightmare is obscenely heavy chair that's a throne for a ghost whose greatest accomplishment was treason he was the best guy around who was Jefferson Davis he was the best guy around. Who was? Jefferson Davis? He was the best guy around. Are you serious? He was the best guy around. All right, you won me over. By the way, the chair is valued at $500,000.

The Shakur quote that White Lives Matter is demanding be displayed in return for the monument reads. It reads like this. What folks says about this family I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady, but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog. Huh.

I don't know why that's that offensive. huh i don't know why that's that offensive uh the rulers here's the actual quote from miss shakur again cop killer who escaped uh the ruler lives in cuba the rulers of this country have always considered their their property more important than our lives meaning black people shakur a fixture on the FBI's most wanted terrorist list since 2013, was convinced of murdering a, was convinced, was convicted of murdering a New Jersey police officer in 1977, but escaped prison two years later and has avoided the United States authorities by living in Cuba for the past several decades.

Shakur is also the mother of deceased hip hop star Tupac Shakur. And there's something else they didn't mention that she is. She's a malignant cunt. Bing dong ding. Hang a banner up. Why? You guys can't read? Hey, ladies and gentlemen, I want to take a few minutes and endorse one of our great sponsors, JoinHoney.com. That's what it's called, JoinHoney.com.

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And my wife showed me what she's using this thing uh all you do when you go to the checkout um the honey button drops down and you just click apply coupons and you watch your price drop if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out on free savings it's's literally free. It installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a real solid and supporting this podcast. I've never recommended something I don't use, okay? Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash nickdip.

That's joinhoney.com slash nickdip and we thank them for sponsoring the show a product that actually works it's actually great i want to thank people uh no i don't want to thank i thought that was a contributor turns out it's a woman's name for the next story let me see if I still have whiskey in this. Ayanna Williams. I'm bringing you a lighter story today. Ayanna Williams, woman with the world's longest nails. Again, I can't. She cut them after nearly 30 years.

I go four days and I see my nails get a little long and it freaks me the fuck out. Proving black women and old white Italian guys have nothing in common. The Texan, she's from Texas, who had the world's longest nails grown by a a woman can finally open a door without fear after cutting her nails. Imagine it's probably imagine some guy had slept with her and his back just got fucking look at those. How do you function in normal society? Are you kidding? What did she do? Look at those. How do you function in normal society? It's just so ridiculous. Are you kidding? What did she do?

I'm serious. How did you drive without them snapping? Did you leave the house? I don't get it. Forget about masturbation. It's like a psych. Psych? I don't know what it is.

It cuts hay. Ayanna Williams of Houston broke the Guinness World Record for the world's longest fingernails in 2017 when they measured nearly 19 feet long. It took her more than two bottles of nail polish and three cans of Krylon and 20 hours to do her manicure then. Oh, so she would take a whole day to work on her nails. Man, we're all alike though don't kid

yourself what the fuck how did they not make a freddy kruger thing uh before tanisha kruger before getting them uh she got them cut over the weekend she got one final measurement it was 24 feet 0.7 inches uh that manicure took three to four bottles of nail polish over the course of a few days. She's probably getting high from the polish. It's a vicious cycle. Look, they had to bring in black and vector shit. Williams got the task done at a dermatology office in Fort Worth, Texas, wearing a electric rotary tool.

Kind of shit you grind down brakes with, was used for her first nail cut since the early 90s. Oh my God. It's just so ridiculous. With, this is her talking, with or without

my nails, I will still be the queen. Of what? Of what, honey? The queen of what? No social life of laying on the couch? Needing 11 stitches after you scratch your own bush? The fuck kind of queen are you?

The fuck kind of people are these, Henry? Dairy queen. That was one of of people out here, Henry. Dairy Queen. That was one of my better lines on Tough Crowd. Some of those black comedians said, we're from kings and queens. I go, yeah, Burger King and Dairy Queen. That's the type of shit that got me this show. Anyway,

she said, I'll still be queen, William said, according to Guinness. My nails don't make me. I make my nails. Didn't somebody famous say that? Was it Nixon? William, I don't, my nails don't make me, I make my nails. Let me just say this about the brown. William said she plans to only grow her nails about six inches, according to Ripley's Believe It or Not,

which will display her trim nails at its museum in Orlando, Florida. Until now, Williams was unable to do some activities like live, such as washing the dishes and putting sheets on the bed. Well, I don't do that shit either. My nails are perfect, so I'm not blaming her for that. She said her new goal is to, again again scratch yourself without having to butterfly yourself later uh she said her new goal is to encourage the next history-making nail enthusiast to go for a guinness world record fucking dope you fat nasty black bitch the record for the longest fingernails ever on a pair of female hands still belongs to Lee Redman, who I dated. She started to grow them in 1979. I was 17.

They reached a length of 28 feet. Best hand job I've ever had. But Redman lost them. Get this. She had 28-foot fingernails, but she lost them in an automobile accident in 2008. Hope they were covered. My hands are totaled.

What about the kids? Fuck them. I can always have more kids. Oh, my God. She lost them in a car accident. I love this planet. You're a car accident. I love this planet. Headline. Next story. Cuomo, no homo. The female aide who's accused Governor Andrew Cuomo of groping her broke her silence to provide a vivid account of the alleged incident, describing how he pulled me close and stuck his hand under her blouse.

In her first public interview, the unidentified woman told the Albany Times Union in an article published Wednesday that she was summoned to the executive mansion. Here's the one he always uses to help Cuomo with his cell phone on a weekday in November. These girls are still falling for the old cell phone trick that he's used about eight times to get laid. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. I can't, he's getting blown behind the desk. When she entered his second floor office, she said Cuomo came out from behind the desk and aggressively embraced her in what she described as an overtly sexual manner that wasn't just a hug. He went for it.

And I kind of was like, oh, the door's right there, she said. The woman said she quietly freaked out. That's your first mistake. While considering how to respond to the powerful three-term Democrat. Hey, how about, what the fuck are you doing? How about that? He wouldn't get mad if you said that. I said, you're going to get us in trouble, which sounds like she's sort of enjoying it.

Or going to get us like they're a couple? How about what are you doing, you greasy guinea whopper? I said, you're going to get us in trouble, she said. I didn't know what else to say. It was pretty much like, what are you doing? Yeah, why didn't you say that? That's when she that's when he slammed the door. He said, I don't care.

Although the sound of the door was loud enough that the cuomo staff most likely wondered what was going on he wasn't deterred she said he came right back and he pulled me close and all i remember is seeing his hand his big hand she said i remember looking down like holy shit cuomo 63 then reached under her blouse and grabbed one of her breasts uh over her bra she said and uh when asked why he did that he said it's a catchy tune that'll be in your head for the next 10 days she says i was just so confused and so taken aback by it he never said anything which was odd never said anything just i apologize what's the matter with you? Never said anything.

Ah, that was the first blatant move. She also said she believed Cuomo tried to groom her for a relationship over the past two years through inappropriate behavior that included tight hugs and kisses on her cheek. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy, you guys. Let me help you girls out when something like this happens, okay? I know you're worried because I guess you're going to lose your job, but just say governor.

Look, I know you can fire me, but I don't like you like that. I think of you as a friend. You know, you greasy guinea. She says it was never, he never did it in front of anybody, she said. A co-worker, Alyssa McGrath, also reportedly told the New York Times later last month that the woman confided in her about the alleged groping and that Cuomo told her specifically not to tell me, McGrath said. Oh my God. Cuomo told her specifically not to tell me. That's what Ms. McGrath said.

McGrath, 33, also accused Cuomo of sexually harassing her by, among other things, looking down her blouse and calling her beautiful in Italian. Ah, molto bene. Speaking of beautiful, Ron Paul. Remember Ron? He's got a commercial. He always comes on like at 3 in the morning. You think 2008 financial crash was bad? Wait till you see the next one coming.

I'm telling you, man, you better dig a hole and save up canned beans. Ron Paul spotted wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes for an interview. What? The former congressman gave viewers on YouTube an eyeful Wednesday when he ended a Zoom interview by revealing he was wearing a tight pair of Daisy Dukes

along with a dress shirt and suit jacket. Oh my God. That's right. He's wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes along with his dress shirt and suit jacket. The 85-year-old libertarian inadvertently gave the glimpse of his liberally cut shorts in the last second of a video chat on political issues with host Doug Casey. Put up that picture again. I got to get a load of this. You know, Brian Stetler at CNN is jerking off to this right now.

You know that. Tiptoe through the window, by the window, that's where I'll be gone. Tiptoe through the tulips with me. Tiptoe from the garden, by the garden, I'm on the laundry. And tiptoe through the tulips with me. Far behind in the moon We'll out the ant in town Through the jubilee With me That's faggot stuff. Hey!

It's good music. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. It is not. It's good music. Some viewers at first thought the fresh take on business casual were boxers, but a closer look reveals they are a pair of short jeans cinched with a black belt.

The video immediately ended after the quick glimpse of the shorts. Big deal. Probably get an adult diaper under there, too. It's comfortable. I like Ron Paul. And, you know, look. Last time we saw him doing an interview on cable, you remember what happened. It probably affects the way he dresses now.

Remember this? It has to be liquidated. We have to get rid of that. That's a burden. We can barely wear this. We can't buy it. We can't buy it. We can barely work this.

We can't buy it. We can't buy it. That, that, that, that. Is that the Paul? I took that at financial advice. I lost over $100,000 in a week. Anyways, hey, I want to thank Calipa CBD for sponsoring the Nick DiPaolo show today. I found these guys when I was looking for a good way to be less sore after workouts that wasn't in oil.

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And curls for the girls. And a schtick bit of it. Anyways, let's move on to some lighter news as we head towards the end of the week, towards the weekend. This one tickled my funny bone. Tickle me, Elmo. No laughing matter is the headline. What? While unaware that he was being recorded by a nursery camera, a Michigan home inspector pleasured himself with an Elmo doll, according to the police.

You can act like a man! What's the matter with you? That's the eyes Elmo made when the guy grabbed him with his zipper undone. Kevin Wayne Van Leuven, that name's going to go down in history.

Well, I'm telling you, guys who have receding hairlines that go crazy. They start fucking puppets and all kinds of shit. Pool floats. Remember we reported that one, pumpkins. Kevin Van Leuven, 59, was Kevin Wayne Van Leuven. I want to get the name right. A rain yesterday on a pair of misdemeanor charges stemming from an unsettling incident last month at a residence in Oxford Township, a Detroit suburb. Investigators say Van Leuven had been hired by the home's owners to inspect their property prior to the sale. The owners told police that they let Van Leuven and the buyer's real estate agent into the home, then departed the residence during the March 12th inspection. into the home, then departed the residence during the March 12th inspection. While away from the property, oh what a nightmare, a 22-year-old female homeowner received an alert on her phone

that a webcam had detected movement in the residence nursery. The woman then accessed the camera feed and saw Van Leuven touching himself. Cops report. They are now dating. No. The home inspector then picked up an Elmo doll and appeared to be pleasuring himself with the doll.

Have you ever done that? Bert. Bert's the best one. You can put your dick under the nose. Oh my god. Show his face again. This guy, he's going to be world famous. I don't like your jerk off name. I don't like your jerk off face. I don't like your jerk off behavior. And I don't like you jerk off. After the homeowners called 911, sheriff's deputies confronted Van Leuven, who claimed to have only moved the doll with his cock to inspect an electrical outlet. But when cops told him that there was a camera in the nursery, Van Leuven reportedly made incriminating statements in Apollo.

Well, how about the how about Elmo being glazed? That didn't incriminating statements and apologize for his actions. Yeah, that'll help. What's the matter with you? Sorry. The fuck is the matter with you? Nothing. I like puppets, Jimmy.

The fuck's the matter with you? I told you, don't go out and buy any puppets, any fucking dolls. What's the matter with you? Yeah, but the doll's my wife's nephew. Getting wise with me? Charged with aggravated, why is it always aggravated? How about hilarious incident? Charged with aggravated indecent exposure and malicious destruction of a property under $200, Van Leuven was booked into the Oakland County Jail where he is being held in lieu of $2,500 bond. A judge has directed Van Leuven was booked into the Oakland County Jail where he is being held in lieu of $2,500 bond. A judge has directed Van Leuven

to undergo a mental health evaluation and has prohibited him from being alone in any residential property that he does not own. There goes his work. This goddamn cancel culture is getting everybody. Additionally, he has been ordered to have no contact with the Oxford Township homeowners. You think they want to you think they're going to hire him after this?

I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine when he woke up the next day that feeling like, did I do anything stupid yesterday? I said, ugh. Speaking of babies and their toys, how about this? A million dollars in fentanyl pills found inside a six-year-old's car seat. What a country we're living in. A mother-father trafficking duo, Anna Rosso Villaluea, I can't see it. Villaluea and Robert Guerrero were arrested after deputies outside of Phoenix, Arizona

found 52,000 fentanyl pills hidden in the child's car seat. We have body cam footage of the March 28th incident where an estimated $1 million of opioids was seen. Look at these two. Yes, that's what. Look at that. Thank God they're having kids and they came to this country. It makes for a more diverse. Shut the fuck up.

Take a look at the cops. What happened? There's pills. Dust? All right. Valela. One, five, and six. The cop picked that up.

He goes, this is way too heavy. What are you doing? Can I see that beautiful couple again? There you go, huh? They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

And then she responded. That's what you're going to hear when you live next to him in Arizona. Three in the morning. Oh, look at those two. I really believe you should have IQ tests before you mate. I don't know how you didn't force that,

but what a world. You know, they're definitely Democrats. Speaking of Democrats, nasty notes were left for Trump staffers when Trump moved in and there was a rumor saying Obama's

people left all these nasty notes on the drawers. Anyways, it didn't apparently come. Again, it didn't apparently come, again, if you want to believe the Obama administration, which told you they didn't spy on Trump either. Apparently those notes came from celebrities, not Obama aides. You know who said that? Was it Marley Safer from 60 Minutes? Was it Tucker Carlson? No, Dave Chappelle. That's where I get my news. I fucking love Chappelle. I like that jacket. When former President Donald Trump first moved into the White House in January 2017,

his staffers said they found nasty notes stuffed into the drawers in cabinets. Acclaimed President Barack Obama's aides fiercely denied, and they wouldn't lie. But comedian Dave Chappelle now says the notes did exist, denied and they wouldn't lie but comedian dave chappelle now says the notes did exist but were penned by a group unnamed mischievous celebrities uh during a goodbye bash for the departing administration that's very that was very i wonder who did it bye bye dickhead remember when the trump administration moved in this is a chappelle talk and they said the obama staff left dirty notes for us and all the draws and all the cabinets, Chappelle said, on a new episode of the Naomi Campbell's No Filter YouTube series published

Tuesday. Are you interested in the real story? Yeah, Chappelle knows. Chappelle said, I saw this happening. I'm not going to say who did it, he went on. But it was celebrities writing all this crazy, I guarantee, like George Lopez. I don't know. Pick a black actor.

Don Cheadle. But it was celebrities writing all this crazy shit and putting them all over there. I saw them doing it. So when I saw it on the news, Chappelle said, I laughed my butt off. Chappelle said the notes were left during one of the last White House shindigs thrown by the Obama family before they moved out at the start of Trump's term. In 2019, former Trump press secretary, Stephanie Grisham said the missives included biting remarks like, you will fail and you aren't going to make it. Yeah, that's about as literate as Hollywood celebs get. Those notes definitely happened.

They even left Russian vodka in the cabinet, another source added at the time. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? They were trolling us from the minute we got there. It was definitely just ridiculous. We were trying to find the bathroom and we get these notes saying you will fail. Sure enough, we peed all in the hallways and you're not going to make it. And I did it. I crapped my pants and former workers under Obama denied they were responsible for the

notes. under Obama denied they were responsible for the notes. And again, from very honest people, you know, like Susan Rice and just pick anybody, shithead Biden. He wouldn't lie, would he? As he has duck sauce on his suit when he flies back to Beijing. Finally tonight, one of my favorite, and this isn gonna surprise you but i mean my middle name is rocco and i was called rocky as a kid uh when rocky came out you know it was great i still look like a italian stallion or a fucking trans guy puerto rican anyways uh yo donald i did it sylvester stallone stallone he's one of the newest members of Donald Trump's private club, Mar-a-Lago. Page Six told us that in the Post. Stallone, 74, has previously been a guest at Mar-a-Lago, having attended a 2016 New Year's Eve party there.

A source who saw Stallone at the club last month told us, Sly just became a member of Mar-a-Lago. Sly just became a member of Mar-a-Lago. They're now letting Italians in. So he was seen posing with some fellow guests for pics, all holding up their fists in a boxing pose, it said. Put them up. Put them up. The Rocky legend in December bought a $35 million compound.

What's that like? Near the club. He doesn't even have like a wife and kids, does he? What are you? You know what he does? I'll tell you what he does. He goes to, let's say, I don't know, the Hard Rock Cafe. Whatever.

Invites any hot girl, 10, 12 at a time. Gives them their own rooms in the mansion, probably. You guys stay here as long as you blow me. I mean, as long as you chip in. $35 million compound near the club in Palm Beach, Florida. Local reports said that Jews are furious. No. According to a listing, Sly's new estate has seven bedrooms amid 13,241 square feet of living space, plus 253 feet of waterfront, a dock, a sandy beach, and a pool pavilion with an open-air cabana. Boy, he's struggling.

Oh, boy, you. Gotta love that you're saved. Rambo star also once owned a Florida home on Miami's Biscayne Bay, but last year was reportedly house hunting in Palm Beach. Meantime, Stallone will have more time to spend at home. He revealed this week that he won't appear in a third film in the hit Rocky spinoff franchise, Creed. Star Michael B. Jordan will direct the upcoming sequel, which is slated to come out in 2022. Those movies are actually pretty good, actually, the Creed movies. But Stallone recently replied in a comment to a fan on

Instagram of Creed 3, it will be done, he said, but I won't be in it comment to a fan on Instagram of Creed 3, it will be done, he said, but I won't be in it. Keep punching. His rep then confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that he won't be in the film. Yeah, we heard you. What was I going to say? You hope I don't keep acting like a whore, I'll turn into one, right? Yeah, something like that.

Night, Rocky. Night, Marie. Take care, you know. Hey, Rocky. Yo. Screw you, creepo. Uh-oh, that's the lady that lives next door to the new compa. Stallone also announced that he created a new director's cut of Rocky IV

to coincide with the film's 35th anniversary. We have a clip he put on Instagram of him walking around the studio, I guess. This is the dark room, obviously. Not much light here. I'm taking off this because I've had it. You're going to keep liking and you're going to crap. This is Rocky IV. We're just going to work in on punches and sound because it's never complete.

I said this before. You can go back and see a movie that you've done 50 years ago. You've got to re-edit that. And every director feels that same way. So it's not about making a movie, it's about remaking. Unfortunately, you run out of time, you run out of money, and they basically throw you out of the room. So, therefore, you don't get a chance.

But on this one, we finally got a chance. So, I'm feeling great about this. Okay. Anyway, bye. It's going to keep lightning and you're going to drop thunder. I love how he's, every time he's interviewed, nine out of ten times, he just got done working out or he's heading to the gym. The fucking guy, when I did Rogan like two years ago, we were talking about roids and we put up a picture of Stallone.

I thought it was from like he was in the gym with no shirt on. I said, what's that from like 15, 20 years ago? It was from like two weeks prior. So I'm going to start juicing. You don't need your testicles and kidneys when you get old. Anyways.

Let me tell you something. COVID-19, it's a hoax. Getting off a plane at the airport, wearing double masks. People calling me Hawkeye and BJ Honeycutt and shit. You asked me, I didn't ask you. Fauci, you lying cocksucker it's over fauci it's not over it's never over you asked me i didn't ask you the chinks making up germs and shit no that vile crap anyways that's it, ladies and gentlemen. Great week.

Great week. Thank you again for your support. Go to thecomicsgym.com. Thecomicsgym.com. And nickdip.com if you want to see where I'm touring. Sometime at the end of the month it starts, I believe. Click on the tour button. And please don't forget cameo.com. I did two this morning.

This is a, uh, this thing cameos a big thing. Cause another company just bought whoever started it, but like 300 million. Uh, what it is is, you know,

if you want me to send a personal message, I'll make a video on my phone, roasting one of your friends or relatives, really letting them have it and not going to snot out of it or saying happy birthday to your aunt, your sister, go to cameo.com and, uh and click on the Nick DiPaolo profile. Tell me a little bit about the person.

I will make it on my phone. Send it right to them. You'll get an angry call later on. That is it. You guys think that I will say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday.

Take care. guitar solo I'm out.