The Nick DiPaolo Show - Vagrant Tranny Vandalizes Vance Home | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1835

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

In this episode, Nick talks about Vance Place Hammered, Don Rubio, A FL Costume Party, The McRib, Hilton Playing Games, Cali Issues More Illegals Licenses and PBS/NPR Go Bye Bye! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

The fuck's no matter what that. Hi, folks. Welcome to the live lineup. That's right, where you get my show The Great Lauder with Crowder and all these other shows for free. You want to add free. Go to Rumble Premium.

So follow my channel, download the Rumble app, and I know you did one thing right today. Hopefully there'll be more. Today I'm going to be talking about there was some tranny on the loose with a hammer that busted a few windows and J.D. Van, you know,

just part of the course. How do we not know these people were mentally ill? How did we throw them in that category? I don't know, 15 years ago. You know, Rupal tipped it off. And then I was talking about how I look at Marco Rubio as like Michael Corleone. Well, it turns out he really is Michael Colioni to Donald Trump's veto Corleone. They're like this.

And I don't know, it makes me feel good for the future. Also, Hilton hotels, you know what? I was going to say boycott them, but definitely boycott the one of Minneapolis as they would, they were canceling, you know, ice. They have to go to a city, getting a hotel,

they were canceling their reservations. This country is fucked. I really, I don't know if three more years of Trump is enough to fucking save us. The rot is so deep. It's beyond whatever the hell. And McDonald's is being sued because apparently that's not really.

pork rib meat in that sandwich. I always assumed it was styrofoaming pickles. I mean, Jesus. I was on a, it reminds me, I was doing a morning radio show in Connecticut, plugging a gig in New York. And, of course, the wacky sidekick, they were having a car.

But he had to see how many McRibbs he could eat in like five minutes. And he was, like, on his fifth one, you know, started throwing out. I took one bite, and I was like, what the fuck? I mean, it's just doused. You know, they try to hide whatever it is

in barbecue sauce. But again, if you're drunk and I'm on the road, well, I'm going to get a filet of fish or whatever. But I'm just saying, if that was the only thing, I'm not going to, you know, I like fast food. I love fast food. But that one looks, that looks like something you'd find in the sink at Planned Parenthood. You know what I'm saying? Waiting to see a cord hanging off it. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

I don't know, got nothing to report. I have such a quiet, stupid. life. Keep talking about doing this book. Can't even get the title. Well, those I'm good at. You'll love whatever I pick as far as title. But I got this girl, Lou, who I met when I was doing Soul Joles in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. She's written a book. I mentioned it on this show. She interviewed you. She interviewed me. Yes. Fucking memory. Was that my show? I thought was Murph Griffin. Yes. She of you and me.

Excuse me. And, you know, so she texts me every now and then going, hey, because she wants to help me with this thing. And I said, look, I ain't got the money. No, I don't. I just don't know how. And it can be done.

I mean, but I don't want to just put out a book to put out a book where people go, what's this? A pamphlet? Because I've had a few people I know do that. But, I mean, if you read about people who write, they're like, what's that all saying, I hate to write, but I love to have written or something like that, whatever.

I'm fucking that up. Maybe I shouldn't write a book. It's only the most important about writing books. Again, Jeopardy last night. We do like four or five of them. I fucking why. I go, she's this far. I go, you got to try out for the show at least, at least with literature. But, you know, then she's fucked when it comes to science. But she, sports. Of course that one doesn't show up. And I'll say it again. Damn it, this is the first chapter of my book. I want an investigation into Jeopardy

because they're discriminating against straight white males. I'll say it again. You know why? They have to because it will be all straight white male. I really believe that. There is a gay person or somebody transitioning. I mean, in the promo for Jeopardy, in the commercial, they show this guy who's a trans woman now,

who was like a grand champion. I'm just saying, I'm not saying they're not smart and all that stuff, but I'm just saying they make up this, same with gay people, they make up this much of the population. I know you guys conventional wisdom and the media will have you believe it's 50-50 straight to gay, but it's not. And every, almost, I'm telling you, 90% of the episodes, there's a gay person,

And the trans they sneak in. My wife still isn't good at picking them out. And I go, look at the fucking forearms. She's got traps like Ray Lewis. What are you looking at? Somebody investigate. Because somebody's getting, that's a DEI thing. Somebody is getting discriminated.

There's no way when you have that little a population, you get that much of a sample size on Jeopardy. It just, the math doesn't make sense. Anyway, that's my first chapter. It's called Fuck You, Trebek. even though he's not there. And they're a little sloppy, I noticed, with some of their facts. A bison is different than a buffalo.

Thank you. I knew Dallas would know. It is, right? You hear that? Buffalo's it in Africa. You think of, I was trying to think of some female rappers. Anyways. Yeah, because last night somebody said Buffalo and King goes, yeah,

Buffalo or bison, we would have taken. No. No. Right? Anyways, the wife smokes me when it comes to literature. She has fucking read everything. And now she's getting good at rivers

and lakes and shit. She sits home with her headphones on. Well, she's at her desk. And believe me, she's at her, when I tell people that she manages my, she finances and shit, they're like, well, what does she do? What does she do all the?

She's chasing fucking money. She designed the website for the merchandise. She fucking, I mean, she does more than I do in a month in like two days. And she's on the phone doing other shit, whether it's, you know, insurance or whatever the fuck. I don't know how, if you're in this business, she'd have to have an assistant. Because she'd have no time to think of anything else, never mind write an act or whatever the fuck. So what I'm saying, she's invaluable.

I hope you're watching. That's worth a few hand jobs. Use your left hand. I don't give a shit. All right, let's get on with this garbage. I mean, this show. Take a sip of my coffee. I was listening to It's Wonderful Tonight, you know, Eric Clapton's lovely romantic song.

But I giggle every time I listen to it because it's late in the evening. She's wondering what clothes to wear. It's also, and I'm like, yeah, pick something. Pick a fucking pick a pair of shoes. That's what I hear in my head when I'm listening to that song. She puts on her makeup and brushes a long brown hair. Well, I'm downstairs going. The game starts in fucking 12 minutes.

It's a 20-minute ride. I want to do that version. It's called It's Horrible Tonight. Great song. And I can play it on the guitar, folks. I can. But what good is it if you can't sing it? I'm going to be in the fucking lobby of the Savannah Airport.

Next to the guy with a piano. Let's get right on to it now. First story of the day, Vance. J.D. Vance gets hammered. The deranged hands. hammer wielding alleged vandal accused of busting several windows at Vice President J.D. Vance's home. Notice it's always the right of the Republicans who are the victims of this shit. I'm guessing this guy was looking for Paul Pelosi's house and he had the wrong address.

Another fruit cup with a hammer. Is that something they do? Right? I just wanted to return this to his ass. I got the wrong address. President Jady Vance is home in Cincinnati is allegedly the son, the crazy person, is the son. slash daughter of a prominent millionaire family, and appears to have been going by Julia in recent weeks. William DeFore, 26 years old, was arrested early yesterday after allegedly shattering four windows at Vance his home. Police said that DeFore was attempting to break into the home around midnight.

There it is. It looks like a chubby girl. girl, you know, and you can tell, that's what I'm talking about. If that was on jeopardy, my wife goes, no, that's just kind of a fat boy. Well, it is, but it's heading the other way. The vances who moved into the vice president's official residence in D.C. After the inauguration, we're not in Ohio at the time. Here's another, we already showed the, put it up again.

Here's the picture of the goo gobbler who did the damage. I just want to look at that beautiful face. Oh, yeah. That looks like a Julia. You can tell there's hair in the back, probably in a ponytail. Not that there's anything right about that. I mean, wrong about that.

Oh, take it easy. It's unclear whether DeFort identifies it, really? Who wrote this, my wife, as transgender or non-binary. Are we still keeping those terms like they're relevant? But he recently appeared to be post- under the name Julia DeFore. Well, that sort of clears it up for me.

Cops listed the suspect's name as William and his gender as male. Well, that's good. The cops aren't playing the game. In his mugshot, you'll see it here. DeFore has an unkept, matted mullet and dead-eye stare. There's the first picture.

There's Julia. Can you see? And you'll see this thing on Jeopardy in a few years. Going, um, he, she's for 100. Can I say Ken Jennings is a great fucking great at his job? He's like for a brainy guy. He's got a lot of personality.

Anyways, that's the thing. Doesn't look violent, does it? So something must be bothering him or her inside. Can I say that? And that's the mugshot. You know why I didn't think it was a mugshot? tells because I thought there'd be numbers behind it, like the height. DeFore's father also named William as a successful Harvard University graduate.

Is that surprised anybody? You know what that means? Probably his wife, because they usually married the same. Probably, you know, his wife said, no, no, no, he's playing with dolls when he was like, leave him alone, because I know that time. He boasts a decades-long history as a, I'm talking about the dad, a pediatric urologist in Cincinnati. as a professor at the University of Cincinnati's College of Medicine,

where he studies peepee and sometimes drinks it. The elder DeFore donated thousands to Kamala Harris. Are you getting the gist of what I'm trying to tell you here? It's so predictable. What do you think I was going to tell you? Well, he's a professor of woodworking at the Vry, and no, failed presidential campaign in 2024, after years of small contributions to a pact,

PAC that lobbied for urologists, according to federal. Jesus, they have lobbyists for everything. The piss line is over here, folks. He is also a longtime Democrat support a surprise, surprise, according to his public contributions. He donated upwards of five dimes, that's $5,000, to former president, jerk off Joe Biden, and former vice president, the drunken hoe Kamala Harris,

respective campaigns in 2020 and 2024. And boy, I can't wait for like Dallas and more of this, Venezuela shit to come out about all the fucking voting machines and whatever. And the more I read about it, people are going, hey, you know, Trump's probably really doing this for oil. It's got to do with both.

Two things can be true. It just happens to be perfect. You can't deny the guy's not an international drug dealer and that shit comes into our country that he has to do it. And while we're doing that, we're going to show you that Trump didn't lose. He also previously backed the federal assault weapons ban.

I'm talking about the dad still. In the wake of the Uve-Dailed elementary school shooting, according to his Facebook, Uvaldi, if you want to say, Spanish. Spikish, Spanish. Wow. Do you see what I'm saying? That's a very highly educated family.

It's, there's just nothing left. There's nothing in common. And they keep sending me this. I must really send out some vibes because they got that algorithm pinned to my fucking. I can't open it without a psycho-liberal looking and going, you fucking magickok. To the point where, and I believe, and I'm still saying this, that a lot of them are AI. Because you're not going to know the difference, folks. You're not going to know the difference.

They don't have to go out and find people or wait for people to post that shit. they can give me a steady stream of it. They're going to pump it out on their own. You're never going to know the difference. But I'll tell you where you will notice the difference at my merch. That sound like what I'm selling steak and seafood door to door in college. Ma'am dealer, we had a salesman. He was an ex-Vietnam vet.

His name was John Hickey. And we had this whole sales pitch that you do, you know. I was just coming up from your neighbors. You look at the name on the house, the Thompson. You don't even know who the fuck they are. I just came from Mrs. Thompson's house. and, you know, but I remember the pitch. John Hickey, who was doing it so long,

and he was such a great salesman. This is what he'd do. He'd knock on the door, somebody opened the door, and he goes, do you like a good steak? I'll be right back. The people are like, no, no, no, no. He goes, now, I'll be right back. And he was so likable.

And, you know, that was his. You like a good. Who's going to say no? Of course, there's people who are, yeah, of course I do. It's so goddamn funny. Boy, I, there's the boy, there's the boy. There's the book. This part of the book.

Me as a door-to-door salesman. That was right before I became a comic, and I don't think those two things are mutually exclusive. You had to be quick on your feet. I remember getting thrown out of a real estate office on Com Ave in Boston. I went right into Boston, knocking on like insurance companies. I had this shit all spread out,

and I had about eight people listening to my shit. and then the fucking boss comes and he couldn't have looked more Jewish he looks he goes what the fuck is this get back to work he goes pack up your shit I appreciate the effort then I got to do the shame walk I got all my boxes and shit oh my god but it produced some fun shit hey go to nickdip.com that's the merch page support the show excuse me support the

show. Who the fuck wrote it? Head to Nick. Support Dash Head. So it's a, you know, it's a, what do you call it? Anyways, go to Nick Dip.com. We've got hats, hoodies, t-shirts, mugs, the plastic hips, we can't keep them on the shelves. Wear it and piss off the right people. That's what it'll do. Hopefully. You know what I mean? Go to a, you know, what was it with the pink

Pink hat, Will those broads, pink pussy hats. Go to one of those meetings wearing a, what's up, knicker? See what happens over there. Let's move on to, I think I'm very perceptive in my, my opinions on Rubio, as Michael Collier. I think it's an accurate description. Rubio is Michael Collierney to Trump's veto, described by sources as a Latin America whisperer.

Mr. Rubio allegedly had a direct line to the president during his first term when it came to the socialist governments of Cuba, Venezuela, in Nicaragua. Former officials told Politico. He organized, and why are they spelling organized with an S? Is this from the fucking English page? Huh? Maybe. He organized a meeting between. Mr. Trump and the wife of a jailed Venezuelan opposition leader in 2017, and received weekly

briefings about the administration's crackdown on Latin American governments. Keep your friends close, but your enemy's close. His, I'm telling you, he would make a great breath. Him and Jade, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care either one. His sharp criticism had long been a source of frustration for Mr. Medoro, who had brand, Rubio the craziest of the crazies. No wonder why Trump. This goes back to 2017,

and Trump's like, this guy has connections to these countries that I'm going to be fucking with. And whose head of security forces, Diasado Cabello, Rondone, this guy was trying to assassinate Rubio, said to be behind a plot to assassinate the outspoken senator according to U.S. intelligence memo. And they said his staff

and everybody was like, you know, shit in their pants. And Rubio was unperturred by it, they said. That's what it takes, man. I'm staying right here. Although it was never proven and the threat prompted federal officials to provide Mr. Rubio and his family would round the clock protection.

Central to the success of Saturday's high stakes operation, we're talking about when they went and got Maduro. Insiders said, is the close relationship between Trump, in his secretary of state, who has grown into one of the most powerful advisors of his second term. And I, God damn, and I have good instincts.

Because I was impressed with this guy 15 years ago when I saw him on meet the press and all those other shows. He would embarrass these guys. And I liked them during the debates. If you remember those, what makes this surprising? If you remember, they were very adversarial

when they were running for President, Trump's first run. I'll show you a clip later to remind you. I think the president really respects him, a former Rubio advisor said, the pair see each other nearly every day, have offices next to each other in the White House, and have a warm public relationship,

which has resulted in the president bestowing titles on his advisor like a medieval king. The president also hailed Mr. Rubio's initial talks with Mr. Maduro's vice president, Delci Rarigis, seen here in a cross-in-guard vest, who was formally made interim leader on Sunday, saying she's essentially willing to do what we think, meaning the America,

is necessary to make Venezuela great again. As you know, she came out at first saying she was going to be cordial to Trump, and then somebody must have given her call, one of Maduro's, and said, listen, motherfucker. And she came out, said, we want nothing to do with them. She actually said Maduro should be the leader, right? Remember?

Yeah. Well, she spun around when Trump the next day said, Yeah, try that shit. We'll pluck you out. Anyways. So, yeah, you remember these guys during the debates. And again, I knew this. We all, if anybody who watches political debates over the, you say shit.

Look, you're in a fight. A verbal fight. You're going to say shit. But you also, if you win the nomination, you're going to have to work with some of these people. So you can't, you're not going to hurt Trump's feelings. The guy's been called everything. He's been shot at. you're not going to hurt his feelings.

Even back then before he was shot it. But here's a little of the adversarial relationship they had years ago. In the past week, you've mocked Mr. Trump's tan. You've made fun of his spelling. You called him a con artist. You suggested he wet himself backstage at the last debate, along with other older jokes and jabs. So what happened?

Yeah, you know, Brett, let me say something. This campaign for the last year, Donald Trump has basically mocked everybody with personal attacks. He's so serious. He's done so to people that are sitting on the stage today. Listen to the people. Plotting. He's done it about every other candidate in this race. So if there's anyone who's ever deserved to be attacked that way, it's been Donald Trump.

Think about that. Those people that are plotting there, right? They're all right-wingers because it's a right-wing debate. They all fucking probably love Trump. Nobody knew what this guy was up to. Now, here's Trump's response. I also happen to call him a lightweight, okay? And I have said that.

So I would like to talk to. take that back. He's really not that much of a lightweight. And as far as, I have to say this, I have to say this, he hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I've never heard of this one. Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he

referred to my hands if they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee you. And here's the difference. The next day, the media, he's childlike, he's petty, blah, blah. You guys have, and it shows what they want in a politician.

Just a fucking drone, a guy that, like, Biden who just signs anything, nothing gets fucking, they have no sense of humor. They never fucking will. There's funny left-wing comedians, don't get me wrong. Most of the, a lot of my friends don't vote like I do, and they're funny people. But I'm just saying, when I'm talking to politicians, you know, is there anything more, humilist than a fucking gay woman or a feminist or no absolutely not so i like the fact that he goes he's not a lightweight that might have showed right there just an ounce that there's something he liked

about anyways um this is how i see because he had a lot to do with getting medora roboeo did he had a lot to do with the planning and everything and it's again it reminded me of michael coliani come on mike he tom wait a minute i'm talking about a cop that's mixed up in drugs. I'm talking about a dishonest cop, a crooked cop who got mixed up in the rackets and got what was coming. Then sunny comes over.

He's taking it's very personally, Tom. It's business. He's taken it very personally. What do you think you're going to do? Get up there, put the gun right up. Bang all over the guts all over your Ivy League suit. That's what it reminds me. And remember what I said about Trump, right? You know who Trump is.

This one I thought would get more heat, as in good heat on Twitter when Trump first started running. I go, he's fucking Rodney Danejavey feeling Caddyshack. He's that rich fucking blowhard. Only he's a lot more than that. We didn't know he's fucking a lot smarter than people thought. All right, whatever.

No, no, no. Oh, all right. In our FLA segment tonight, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd began his Monday morning briefing by stating, now occasionally I bring you stuff that you just can't believe that you'll never get over that may even scar you for life. He then went on to tell this little diddy. This is Matthew Zacharino. He's 39. He's from Altamont Springs. And he's on this construction site in a vehicle by himself. And as our deputies or approach him to see what's he doing on this construction site, we see this dude wearing a red

lace bra with prosthetic silicone breastuses. You know what I mean? Don't do that, Sheriff, you know, I told Dallas, this is the Trump effect wearing off on people in power. They're like, you know what, I don't have to be as serious. And I understand that. I'm just saying breastac is that's fucking very old and whatever to find. Then he does the fucking which I'd rather have that again than a left wing

you know fucking robot. And when you work in Florida in law enforcement, you better have a sense of humor. He said then we noticed he's wearing a G-string showing off the boys. You know what I mean? You're fucking crazy.

Zacharino told the deputy he was on his way to a costume party according to the show. However, when the deputy pressed him about the costume party, Zacharino couldn't answer the questions. The affidavit states that Zacharino was unable to provide a location, direction, or identify individuals who would be present at the supposed party.

You might want to, you know, plan a little, if you're going to do a lie, you got to have ABC. The affidavit also states that the deputy issued several lawful commands for the suspect to stop moving, but he refused to comply, removed his bra. Okay, I've done, what, three, four stories? We already got a trans kid with a hammer. This fucking, I know there's always been wackos, but not to this extent. But he refused to comply, removed his bra.

I'll show you. And silicone breast prostheses and began reaching inside the vehicle. At that time, the officer handcuffed the suspect. The deputy, and we take this shit for granted, folks, but you can find some horrible, you know, cops just walking up to somebody like this, a nutcase, a guy is a gun. And we still have to, you know, when they say reimagined policing,

I agree with that when it comes to cops pulling somebody over, especially at night in a car. They have to change the way they do it. I'll think of something. The deputy was looking down at the bra and started to touch himself. And what happened? What?

No. And breast prostheses. And notice the loaded H and K 9mm. What? H and K. It's what? It's the handgun. I know, but what's the H and K stand for?

H and K's the brand. I know. What's it stand for? The H and the K. Don't let me look it up for you because I don't memorize that. Don't. Huh? I just know it is aging.

Listen, he's getting his panties in a bunch. I'm just asking. I think it's Henry K. What is it? Heckler and cock. See? You see what added to the show? Heckler and cock?

Did you say heckler and cock? I'm glad I asked. I didn't expect you to know it. I'm just fucking, come on, who doesn't have a nine inch heckler and cock? Heckler and cock, that's going to be the name of my next album. Heckler and cock.

Shoot it in Minneapolis. I'll shoot it in San Francisco. That's hilarious. a nine millimeter firearm under the other items on the passage of side. I love it. Floorboard near where Zacharino is standing. Zachrino then clammed up and refused to talk to law enforcement. Can you imagine?

This is the sheriff said. He's mad at us for trying to find out why he's wearing lace bras with guns and G-strings or G-somethings. He's still getting a laugh. That's your world. I just live in it. Judd stated. Zacharino was arrested in charge with armed trespass, resisting without violence, and loitering and prowling. According to Polk County Sheriff's Office, jail records, Zacharino, he was released on a $6,250 bond.

Now, I wonder who, where do he get that? Huh? I'd like to know the person that bonded him out. It's Mrs. Zacharino. She comes in. She's got a dick. She wearing shoulder pads and a helmet. Florida never disappoints, does it?

It never do. What do we got tonight, sport? Oh, Thursday night's the big. All Miss Miami, what a delicious. Bruins tonight are at Seattle, not that you guys care, against the cracking. Fucking Bruins are schizophrenic this year. They won eight or nine in a row, then they dropped six in a row,

and then they fucking won the last two. Weird team. also are weird eight teams, what is it, eight or nine teams in their division, only first place and a last place separated by six points total. Bruins are like in fifth, but their four points behind the league. Fucking crazy. I know you guys, now you can sleep that. You get that under your, the McRib is a McLei, apparently. McDonald's has been hit with a class action lawsuit.

The lawsuit argues the McRibb. rib's name and rib-shaped patty. First of all, yeah, ribs aren't shaped like a patty. No. You ever say that does Gianna have a go, Dallas, go to the snow, get the rib, get the fucking patty shape one. What? Ribs shape, that should be a hint.

It might not be real. A lot of times ribs refer to bones. Are there any bones in this thing? That kid was wolfing him. I laughed so hot. And rib-shaped patty, misled consumers and seeks nationwide and state specific class action a status for purchases over the past four years.

I want to see all the people that are involved in the suit. They've got to be at least 400 pounds, average. You know, anybody gets excited about the McRib has never really had a fucking bar, a real barbecue. Again, look at that thing. Looks like somebody pulled my dog's tongue out and put it on a bun. Oh, goodness. gracious.

And who came up with the pickles? Are you with the... When you, like, I do pork sandwich, do you pickles? I don't use pickles. I don't either. People like the contrast, and they're called Irish. What? I think it takes away from

the taste of the actual fucking meat. You hear what he said? That's a guy, a gay guy said that takes away from the meatflip. Oh, come on. Nick, a little pickling and a hurt, no, I keep that, that's a good one. According to the complaint, the McRib is actually made from pigeon shit and rubber hoses. What?

No. It's made from, and I believe this, I'm sorry. You know, it's funny, people bust my balls when I say I love filet of fish. And they go, fish from a McDonald's, it's the same, out of all the real foods, that's the most real one. Because when you catch fish, and it is fish, by the way, it's cod, you can flash freeze it. And flash freezing something,

you know what it does? It's actually seals in the freshness. So out of all the shit that make fun of people at McDonald's but I still love Mickey D's. I still fucking love it. I don't need a lot of it. Especially now that I had that heart thing.

Did I ever give you, did we ever talk about that on air? Me and my wife went and got the, for a hundred bucks, they do like a EKG of your heart. And, first of all, I read her results thinking they were mine, and I'm like, yeah, I get nothing, zero plaques. She goes, that's mine, asshole.

Then I looked at mine. They said they found two candles in there and, you know, wax. I had, yes, I had a little bit of moderate, not even moderate, a tiny bit of plaque. And I said that to our friend, the bodybuilder, Lee Priest. He goes, yeah, I have that too. You know what that is? That's basically high cholesterol. That's how little was in there, which I was surprised.

But Jay Leno, I always bring up Lennox when we talk about the shit. Jay Leno said his whole life he lived on nothing but fast food. It seems all right. Boy, I'll tell you. According to the complaint, the McRib is actually made from Restructured Pork. I just love the rephrasing. When you're talking about meat, the word restructured, unless you're talking about a Kardashian's ass,

that that shouldn't be in there. Restructure pork, which combines cuts such as shoulder. Okay, heart, that's near the ribs, tripe, that's a stomach, isn't it? And scalded stomach. Scalded stomach, that's what I get when I eat one of these things. Shit and blood for a week. What? You heard me.

the other day Trump got for lunch excuse me Trump for lunch the other day one of the reporter says he got a filet of fish a quarter pile of cheese and a fucking

Big Mac he actually looks better than he did the first term anyways the lawsuit asserts 16 legal claims including fraud breach of warranty breach of warranty

breach of warranty There's a warranty on your McRib? Hey, this thing wore out after a week. Well, what are you doing with it? None of your business. Breach of contract and violations of state consumer protection laws. It seeks to represent a nationwide class of consumers who purchased a McRibbs. In the past four years, along with state-specific subclasses.

Of course, nothing's easy in California, New York, Illinois, D.C., all the libs shit. Hidtholes. Introduced Nate. I can't believe the McRib's been around since 82. God, I was missing it in college, apparently. That McRib has grown into one of McDonald's most recognizable limited time. And my question is, why is it so limited? I mean, we have a fucking, this isn't India where you can't kill a cow.

Oh, wait a minute, it's pork. I don't know. I know the Jews aren't ordered it. but why is it limited? They always, it's a marketing scheme. They must know. They're like, you know what? There's just enough dummies

that think this is pork. We'll put it out once every couple of years because it does sell when we put it off. If they had it all the time, nobody would order it, is what I'm guessing. But you put enough barbecue sauce I saw it's on a fucking cowboy boot. People are like,

limited time items, popping on and off the menus in the United States and overseas. It's limited availability has only added to the hype. There you go. It's a marketing plot. With devoted fans closely tracking when and where it returned.

Some fat guy with a pie chart in his bedroom. It's getting, it's been 24 months. It usually, yeah. A McDonald's spokesperson told the independent that McRib uses 100% boneless pork with barbecue sauce, onions and pickles, and that no heart, tripe, or scalded stomach.

are included. He's lying. That's an awful. If you were going to make up a lie, that's an awful specific one. Scalded stomach. This lawsuit, and this is McDonald's spokesman talking,

this lawsuit distorts the facts and many of the claims are inaccurate. Food quality and safety are at the heart. You get it? The heart. Yeah, the fucking skunk heart you put in it. of everything we do. The guy's throwing little zings in it.

That's why we're committed to using real quality. Yes, that's what we think of. When we think McDonald's, real quality ingredients. It's fucking a laugh. Oh, God. What are you, the cracker barrel now? Quality and, you know, like mom makes it home, and she makes her pork ribs across our entire menu.

Our fan favorite McRib sandwich is made with 100% pork sourced from farmers and suppliers across the U.S. I don't know what to believe. I heard that in the kitchen at one in North Carolina. In 2014, McDonald's hired former MythBusters host, and I'll operative word former, Grant and Marahara to tour a processing facility. and there he is seen with somebody from the Black Panthers apparently who knows poor.

Processing and debunk rumors about the McRib showing that the patty is made from ground pork, water salt, dextrose, and preservatives. Well, that's, see, the preservatives is what rots out your ass pipe. Do you understand that, folks? When they say processed foods, and I point this out to the wife all the time too, because she enjoys her fucking, you know,

potato tarts and shit. And I go, anything, when you look at the ingredients, first of all, anything that has more than like four ingredients and the font is one one hundredth of an inch and it goes on for three paragraphs, they don't want you to know what it's in it.

Remember that, kids, right here from Uncle Nick. No plastic or organ meats. I could have sworn I tasted cock in my last one. It wasn't that bad. Still, the current lawsuit argues that this popularity makes clear and accurate product descriptions, especially important, since customers may be less inclined to examine ingredient details during brief promotional runs.

Well, that's... And speaking of runs, Daniel, again, if you have one of these, it's the silliest thing I've ever like. They're actually saying that. People have less... So if you put something on the menu once every year, people don't really care what's in it, I don't... That's kind of, I'm not buying that.

I don't know. I still love quarterpano, double quarter pounder with cheese. Haven't been to that fucking Burger King in a long time. That's hard to eat when you're driving. Ever try to eat a wop when you're driving? It's like having a baby in your hand shitting all over the place. It sure is. If you ever get in a comics, I used to laugh when I was a young comic and, you know,

you would share a ride sometimes like two-hour trips at another. I never got in a comics car that didn't have, and I'm not fucking exaggerating. that didn't have McDonald's and fast food shit, at least up to the middle of my shins, in the front and back. Just horrible lifestyles. Remember this guy picking me up. His name was Thor.

Wow, I still remember this. In the middle of the country, Oklahoma or some shit, he picks me up. He's probably 10 years older than me at that point. He's got a beard, real country guy. He's got a cage in the back with his cat in it. I go, how long you've been on the road? He goes nine weeks.

He hadn't been home in nine weeks, driving. And we did like a dance club. This is what I thought was showbiz. This is what you do. And people always go, why would you come here? Well, that's what you do. Richard Pryor didn't start off as Richard Pryor. The fuck, you play these shitholes.

Same with Leno. Leno played the Combat Zone and all these places that I play. But that was like just a one-nighter, they call it, which is like, you know, some dance club that does comedy. Wednesday night. Oh my God. I still remember that, you know, that fucking crystal ball you dance under in the 80s? They had to shut that off before the show.

And there he is, Thor. And he dropped me off at the next gig, and he went to, because he was going that way. Wow. And the other place in North Dakota, I told you, I already told you this one. It was like an old saloon. It had the swinging doors and shit. And I was there in the winter,

but the pool at the hotel was shaped like a cowboy boot on purpose. I said, that's Italy. The guy said, no, it's a boot. I said, it's fucking Italy. Anyway. I think I'm going to have to start taking book notes for you. I know.

No, you're right. It's as simple as me, but you're right. I don't think of this shit. I have to have something trigger it. And I just have to say it into my phone. But half the shit, if I talked about it and, I don't know. You know, it would all be before I got married because all that shit went away, you know,

which it should. But I'm just saying all the good stories were pre-endy. And that's because I was young and good-looking. And I used to, you know, well, the GHB, that drug. It helped me out a lot. That's what I'm saying. Let's move on to wake-up call. What?

You heard me. Hilton Hotels used a late afternoon expost on Monday to announce the hotel accused of denying rooms to DHS. That's Department of Homeland Security officers. They're there to make this town safer. You understand to get the illegals out? Well, this certain hotel, one of the branches independently owned from the Hill, I don't understand how it works. Still got the Hilton name on it. To me, that makes you fucking some culpability.

I don't know. But apparently that's not how it works. They were denying rooms to DHS officers independently on. And they apologize for their actions of their team. So I guess they were doing that. What's the matter with you? Sorry. The fuck is the matter with you?

The DHS people. What the fuck's the matter with you? I'm sorry to me. What'd you say? Are you being a fucking wise guy with me? I'm sorry. What did I tell you? What did I tell you?

What did I tell you? These are Trump's guys. You're giving them the best room. You're giving the Garfield suite. Give them the handicap room with the fucking ramps. They have fun in there. In a follow-up post, they added, The hotel has taken immediate action to resolve this matter.

Hilton's position is clear. This is these, corporation talking. Hilton's position is clear, our properties are open to everyone, and we do not tolerate any form of discrimination. And boy, I can vouch for that. I've been in some, they look like Section 8 housing. Where was I? Oh, Baltimore.

I'm not shitting you. I come out, I come out of my room. There's a black guy, grown man, like in his 50s, in his robe. And two daughters, I think they were his daughters behind him. They're in their robes with pillows walking down the hallway. This is like two in the afternoon. What, I didn't talk about that on stage for a while. Oi.

So they don't discriminate is what I'm saying. On Monday morning, I get the points things. This is what I'm talking about with my wife. She keeps track of all that shit. The last time I went to the do crowd of show, I walk in, and they're like, you're the customer of the month. They had my name. and a plaque and she.

And I get to my room, there was a bag of, you know, shit I wouldn't eat cookies. Huh? Yeah, bag of fentanyl. A McRib sandwich with a knife stuck in it. On Monday morning, Breitbart News reported DHS's allegations that Hilton hotels were denying rooms to the Department of Homeland Security.

Just think about that. Let's get serious for a second. Just think about that. We don't agree. It's not a matter of agreeing. they their moral compass is just they don't have one they never did but now it's really exposed by Trump why would you be against these people there do you really and it's I want to know who this is why the news sucks put the people's faces on on this story who did this doc them you can just give

us the faces you don't have to tell us on the nose but we can look the fucking shit up and and find out and put the fear of death in them that's how Trump would want it. You know what I mean? So did you give him a slap on the hand? I wanted to hear they came out the Hilton Corporation, so we fired these people. Well, you can't do that.

They're independently. Okay, we'll get them after work. Something like that. Unbelievable. He gets more resistance from within than from what... Well, calm down. Hilton hotels responded to the DHS by saying the hotel in question, again, was independently owned.

Here is Hilton's official statement put out on X by Paris Hilton. Hilton hotels serve as a welcoming place for all. This hotel is independently. We get it. And operated by retarded kids with diapers on and they throw shit out each other like fucking Riesies monkeys. And the actions referenced are not reflective of Hilton values. We are investigating this matter with this individual hotel and can confirm that

Hilton works with government's law enforcement and community leaders around the world to ensure our properties are open and inviting to everyone. Well, if they're independent, that's what I'm saying, then they're not really independent because you're making a statement on your behalf about them. So there's a fucking dynamic there. Son of a bitch. Are you saying he knows nothing about these matters? To my knowledge, nothing.

DHS officers. I'm going to find out what that hell happens here. Oh, that's Mr. Hilton. All right, this committee is now adjourned. Oh, shut up. DHS officer in the Minneapolis area. following up on the numerous allegations of fraudulent uses of federal funds, still colonies allegations.

We're talking about the Somalis and all their whole shit. And by the way, it's in all 50 states I heard. What a cancer. Think about that, folks. This has been going on for years. Think about tax money, especially the people in Minnesota, your tax money. These fuckers coming over here, leaching off you and then telling you you're racist and your piece of shit, then shoplifting at your mall.

on Monday morning amid growing pressure and scrutiny Minnesota homosexual governor, I'm just teasing I'm just teasing he's just a bitch with jazz hands as we said abandon his pursuit

for re-election wow the timing is just impeccable here's an update Hilton has dropped the independently franchise oh did you put this in there nice going

seriously you just got to start doing that more now you're making this a real show Hilton has Nice going. Hilton has dropped the independently franchised hotel from operating under its name

from Hilton. Excellent. Thank you. And that was a nice surprise. We are taking immediate action to remove this hotel from our systems. Yeah, well, we're all watching.

You know what they're going to do? You're going to sell it to the Somalis turn into a daycare. Did you see, did we show you the picture of the learning was spelled wrong? Yeah, the learn. Yeah, the learn.

learning center they had the word learning on layering it you know it makes sense they're layering out the window up all the that's right of all the words in that sign you had to fucking get right would be looked wow welcome to the African anyways oh everybody knows you never go full retire oh not everybody hey Adam Schiff has been quiet huh maybe he died maybe him and his family the car blew up Nick, you don't want his kids to die. I don't want him to multiply.

In our West Case stupid segment tonight, two illegal migrant truck drivers, I don't know if these are the, no, these aren't the same ones. These are different. Remember we did one a month ago with the two Indian guys? They did a jackknife and a car went under it and everybody got killed. This is different.

And again, California is to blame for them. And here's another example. So why isn't he arrested? I don't understand the legal system. Two illegal migrant, truck drivers accused of hauling millions in cocaine. So it's not just boats. Watch Trump stop blowing up 18 wheelers now.

Oh, you're fucking great. Halling millions and cocaine across the country had obtained their commercial driver's licenses. Where, folks? I'll give you one guess. What state? Well, we sort of gave it away. That's right.

California. ICE has lodged detainer requests for 25-year-old Guopreet Singh. Goupreet sing And 30 year old Jasper sing But But you don't have opening? No

But why not? But a why not? Hey guys, watch Landman. Again, like some of it is The feminist horseshit I have to walk out of the room While they're doing it

Every time the fucking lawyer comes in the hut chick But you know, I have to go I gotta take a break And But whatever, it's good. I mean, the drug cartel, I guess this goes on. Drug cartels, because they own some of that land that oil companies are trying to, in Texas,

you know, and they end up in a fucking violent, it's pretty good, I don't want to give it away. Anyways, Jasper Singh and Hajie here, both came in on their magic carpets on Wednesday, both of whom are Indian nationals living unlawfully in the United States. Do you hear that? They're illegals, okay? You can tell by the haircut. Look at the guy on the right. He goes, give me the the Mo Howard. You don't know Mo Howard? But why not? Indiana State Police arrested the two men after they were allegedly caught hiding over 300 pounds of curry. No, what? Gilligan? 300 pounds of cocaine inside a semi-truck and a semi-hard on in Putnam County. The Trump

administration, which is increasingly sparred with California officials over the growing crime. Why does he have to spar? Why does he have to spar? Why does he have to spar? Time for balkanization. You guys take fucking California and Oregon and anything. And we got the rest of it. Okay? And we got the military because the president's one of us. California, over the growing crisis of illegal migrants in,

migrants in the United States trucking industry, place blame on Democratic governor, you know who. I suck car. That's right. And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy. There he is. The goo gobbler himself.

Right there, he's seen looking at a young boy's peepy. Thanks to Gavin Newsom's reckless policies, these two criminal illegal aliens were granted commercial licenses. Gavin Newsom and his fellow sanctuary politicians even refused to honor an arrest detainer on one of these criminal illegal aliens in December. See, now, some kids are going to do cocaine and die at the party. and you ought to thank for it. So why don't I see somebody in his face? You know how the YouTuber went to the knocked on doors at those daycares? Why isn't somebody in his face?

Answer for that. It doesn't happen, does it? Sanctuary policies put American lives at risk. ICE law enforcement lodged arrest detainers to ensure these drug traffickers are not allowed back into American communities. The massive drug bus took place during a route. routine traffic stop by the Indiana State Police, according to local reports. The Indian nationals were on, that's a team in the West, isn't it?

Who were on their way to Richmond, Indiana, from Joplin, Missouri, holy, moly, were reportedly hiding. Listen to this, folks. Seven million worth of cocaine in the sleeper birth of this semi-truck. The amount confiscated was enough to kill more than 113,000 Americans or four. four band members from the stones. I think we found the clip of the week per a DHS statement. How about that, folks?

How about it? How about it, huh? How about it? I would like to start seeing that statistic at the end of every, you know, your qualifier, where they say this much cocaine was found would have killed this many people. Absolutely. They sort of do it with fentanyl, but I don't know how they figured the Coke went out. I know that fentanyl only takes this much.

but with Coke, I mean, John Belushi did enough Coke. You couldn't kill a fuck. You'd kill an elephant with the shit he did. So how do they figure out the average? I know. And here's the other thing I don't understand about fentanyl. We showed a clip a year ago of a cop open and a trunk of the car and it knocked them out. They say it can kill you like that.

Well, how the fuck do you ingest any of it at all? If you're just being near at a nutshell. I don't know. I'll have to try it, find out, on Mythbath. That's it for today, boys and girls. I don't feel like doing another story. We're going to save it for tomorrow. It's a delicious one.

So that's called the tease. Hey, I always forget this. Glenn Greenwald, I believe, is up next. I don't, he's supposed to come on after me. I don't know if he does. But, you know, if he's, because guys come in and out, they learn, you know, sometimes he's very busy. He's, you know, he's got 11 kids.

I don't know what I'm saying. But he's on, he's a great, he's a serious journalist, man. And he was a big lib, I always say this, a New York type lib, you know, Jewish gay guy. And, man, he woke up because smart people wake up to the truth eventually and tells it like it is. I'm just letting this last story go by, Dallas. You're supposed to be doing this? When you're a comedian, this is the last thing you want to see. see. I was open,

here's a story, another one, opening for Carol Leifer. And she ended up writing for Seinfeld because they were friends in. She's a funny lady. You know. And she wanted to bang me. I know that. I was on the set of Brett Butler's show and she kept coming over and

fucking pawing at me. Anyways, I was in a business about a year and a half maybe. And Barry Katz, my manager, goes, you want to be an emcee tonight. It played against Sam's. That's like

one of the hardest clubs in Boston at the time. He goes, Carol Leaf is doing like three shows. You can emcee the first one. I'm up there. It couldn't have been a year and a half. It might have been eight months. I ran out of jokes about nine minutes in. And I'm like, and Barry's in the back

and I go, I go, folks, I don't know what to do now. I didn't even have the chops to Barry comes up, my manager, Big Jew, about 6-3, still love him. Hey, what are you doing? This is in front of the live crowd.

He grabs the mic and he goes, let me show, sir, what are you doing for a live? He goes, can you do that? It's impact. And Carol Leifah was late. That was the, that's why I was, and I saw advanced and I'm going to shit my pants. I didn't have material to do this.

Anyways, that's it. Hey, you guys want, you want a personalized video? from me. You send it to somebody else as a gift. I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to. You can book that at shoutout.us or cameo.com. I can do a little roast or whatever the, you know, you know how it is. I'll say happy birthday.

Don't come to me and asking for serious. My kid's psychologically damaged because I am too. I don't know how to answer those questions. But anyways, go to shoutout. com. That's it, right? Everything? March page again what the fuck buy a hat

Jesus fucking Christ enough already The fucking wife needs new shoes apparently That's it you guys think it I'll say you're very welcome See you back here at the same time tomorrow take care Hi good night everybody