The Nick DiPaolo Show - Vance & Kemp Win Debates | Nick Di Paolo Show #1291

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Vance & Kemp Cream Opponents. Naked & Afraid. Biracial Girl Destroys concept of "white privilege". OK Cycle Crime Goes Wrong. Bear Attacks Child. A Taste of Dickerson.

Boys and girls, make sure to see me in Florida, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Missouri. Get dates and tickets at nickdip.com and click on the tour button. See you there. I'm out. Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says. Why, he asks. Don't you have a vase? I'm telling you, Uncle Junior. Let me see.

Am I hearing them both? Yeah. I guess it's me going deaf. How you is, kid? Fucking. And I try to put on a decent shirt. The collars. I'm very fussy about my collars.

They're either wide open like it's 1968 or they're all bunched up. Anyways, that's a first world problem. What up, folks? Good to be with you on Tuesday. I don't know what's going on in the... I should know. It's my job to. But what did I do yesterday? Not much.

Fucking get all excited. Oh, I got the Yankees and Guardians today. I mean Indians. I said Guardians. How stupid. Red-faced, drunken Indians. And the fucking thing gets rained. I put on and Sheldon's on.

Is that what it's called? Amazing Sheldon? Sheldon the Jerk? Huh? Let's go with Sheldon the Jerk off. Yeah. Anybody? Anybody?

So I hit record on all the Sheldons and the guide in case the game came on and it went till four in the morning, you know. So I started watching all of it just to see. You have to be sucking my ass with a crazy story. Sheldon. Anything. What's with Hollywood and their precocious little kids? Oh, just funny as pediatric cancer.

Who is watching that garbage? Who writes it? How does it get greenlit? It's all a fucking, oh my God, it was horrendous. You know, that kid will hang himself by the time he's 18. With any luck. Mindless drones, that's all it is. That's all it is. It's a mindless drone tuningless drone tuning in look at young kid very smart smarter than his parents we haven't seen that before fucking hollywood needs a douching i mean a real cleansing a fire hose with clorox right up in that bazooch anyways i don't know what that meant uh neither did you it's freedom baby yeah all right let's get to freedom i uh you know i get up the, I start looking at the headlines and stumbled over a couple of clips.

There were debates last night I wasn't aware of right here in the state of Georgia. Good to go, Nick. What are you doing? Well, I'm learning Stairway to Heaven. J.D. Vance, he wrote a book called Hillbilly Elegy, which became a movie. And a real smart dude. And he's running for Senate against Tim Ryan. Or Tom or Tim, whatever.

That big goofus. And he smoked them. I read online it said, you know, mic drop or whatever, something. Vance knocks out. The reason I'm showing you, because I love when race comes up and a Democrat tries to defend their position and accuse somebody else of being racist, especially when that guy has biracial kids

that you're accusing of being racist. Why don't you do your homework, stupid? Watch this blow up in Tim Ryan's face, excuse me, the way it should. And J.D. Vance, I've seen enough of him on TV to like him. But you know, we say that years ago, and then they

get there and turn into... But watch him bitch slap him on this question. We have a... Hold on, J.D., stop. This is disgusting. Here's exactly what happens when the media and people like Tim Ryan accuse me of engaging the great replacement theory.

You're peddling it. I'll tell you exactly what happens. Great replacement theory is a theory, you know, that the Dems say the Republicans peddle it. They actually admitted it. Joe Biden admitted what they're doing, bringing brown people in to take jobs that, you know, and the right's guilty, too. You know, as far as labor costs, get cheap labor, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, pushing whitey out, basically.

That's the theory. And that's what's happening. And they didn't try to hide it. And now Dems say, you're making that up. But anyways, watch this. What happens is that my own children, my biracial children, get attacked by scumbags online and in person because you are so desperate for political power that you'll accuse me, the father of three beautiful biracial babies, of engaging in racism. We are sick of it. You can believe in a border without being a racist.

You can believe in the border without being a racist. You can believe in the country without being a racist. And this just shows how desperate this guy is for political power. I know you've been in office for 20 years, Tim, and I know it's a sweet gig, but you're so desperate not to have a real job that you'll slander me and slander my family. It's disgraceful. You got knocked the fuck out, man. If it was a rap, he would have stepped in. Oh!

How many fingers do I get up? How the fuck do you dare bring up racism? Accuse a guy who has biracial kids. Right now, Tim Ryan's going, talking about the guys who prepared him, those dumb motherfuckers. I'm sure he knew. But that's exactly right.

You believe in sovereign nation and offense or whatever or protecting your borders, your race. I mean, we're cutting our own throats. And he got smacked good. Not even sure how close the race is. I heard Vance was ahead, actually. Like I said yesterday, you can't tell me on every poll

if Republicans shouldn't be 70 points ahead. When I hear stuff like Tucker Carlson gets more Democrats watching him now than CNN and MSNBC, when I hear shit like that and Latinos giving the Democrat party the finger, how is not every poll one-sided in Republicans' favor? It really is a bunch of poo-poo, folks. Anyhow, I thought that was a nice moment. Should have threw the mic at his head. That's the type of debate I would have said. J.D. Vance would have, listen, I bang brown chicks.

I got three kids to prove it. Matter of fact, I had them for this very moment of my life. And then another one-sided event. I'm not a huge Brian Kemp fan either, okay? I've read about him and his Chinese friends and business here and fucking all over, you know, Georgia.

A lot of Chinese connections and he goes over there and speaks and so I'm not a huge fan here, but I'll take him over that fat, slob, liar, self-entitled, self-important pig. What's her name?

Carrie Abrams? Stacey Abrams. I know. I was just trying to insult her. Stacey Abrams. Anyways, so they debated. You want to call it a debate? Nick, don't be racist.

I can't help it. She's really dumb. And she's never heard no her whole life as a black woman. I know it's just conventional wisdom says just the opposite, that it's tough. Now, now it hasn't been since about 1968. They've never heard fucking no in their lives. She's entitled to be governor, even though she lost. So the first thing that came, one of the first things that comes up, the first clip I'm going to show, Abrs lies about conceding the election to kemp she says on the stage she says i admitted that he won on the and and and and then you want to go you

understand right that we have something called videotape now and you do right you realize so uh that's what she said i didn't i didn't uh i wasn't saying that i didn't win so here's a little montage of uh stacy abrams and miss abrams in 2018 you didn't con. So here's a little montage of Stacey Abrams. And Miss Abrams, in 2018, you didn't concede defeat to Governor Kemp. And you talked to systemic problems with the state's election system. This election, you commit to accept the outcome of the vote, regardless of what it shows. And do you stand by your use of words like rigged four years ago to describe the state's election system? In 2018, I began my speech on November 16th acknowledging

that Governor Kemp had won the election. You want to bet? I like the guy asking the question. John Kennedy hit. Hey, you fat slob. I didn't concede. Let's take a look at what Abrams said right after she lost the election. If she said, yeah, I lost.

I do have one very affirmative statement to make. We won. I didn't lose. I got the votes. But we won't know exactly how many because of how they cheated. I did win my election. I just didn't get to have a job.

We were robbed of an election. Using the word rigged, using the word steal, do you think it's dangerous going into 2020? I don't because we can actually back it up. And so in response to what I believe was a stole. Enough, enough. You fat, nasty black bitch. I conceded. Oh, they're like children. They're like children. Honest to God. She's never heard no from anybody surrounding her, her handlers, anybody in college,

because she's articulate and not a dope, but just a child. Kemp also hit Stacey Abrams for her Black Lives Matter extremism from her support of defund the police in the elimination of cash bail. She's for all of that stuff. Let's take a look, shall we? Well, I would just tell people that, look, I support safety and justice, but Ms. Abrams refused to answer the question, so I'll let you

know that the answer is zero. No sheriffs are endorsing her statewide because of her stances on wanting to defund the police, eliminate cash bail and serving on the boards of organizations like the Margaret Casey Foundation that supports and gives grants to organizations that are promoting the defund the police movement. Holy moly. Liar, liar, liar, whore liar whore you know and that's what he should have said they asked her how many sheriffs and she merely mouthed around it instead of just giving a direct answer this is the only time they get held accountable for lying is during debates that means we should have them every day of the week okay every three weeks might get a little tiring. You can put the shit on C-SPAN if you're a loser. Anyways, yeah, so he spanked her there. And yeah, Kemp made waves during the 2020 lockdowns.

We switched to COVID by being one of the first states to open for business during which Stacey Abrams said there was no legitimate reason for her state to lift virus restrictions. There's no legitimate reason for reopening the state except for politics. And I think it's deeply disingenuous. He would pretend she means otherwise. That's what she said at the time. We're not ready to return to normal because I've never been normal. I'm mental. Look at me. I have an eating disorder. We have people who are the most vulnerable. Oh, Jesus.

Victim, victim, and least resilient. Wow. Saying a lot for your people. Being put on the front lines. What is she talking about? Like we have a 90-year-old woman being first responders during COVID. Contracting a disease they cannot get treatment for. Huh?

Let's take a listen to this clip. Well, I would remind Georgians that the first part of my plan was keeping our state open for business and allowing all business people and working Georgians to work. When Stacey Abrams was criticizing me for doing that also pushing to get our kids back in the classroom when again Stacey Abrams was criticizing me for doing that a lot of Georgians including African Americans and other minorities cannot go to work if their kids are not in the classroom we had the lowest unemployment rate in

the country for African Americans we also were named the top we rate in the country for African Americans. We also were named the top, we're in the top 10 of the states for black entrepreneurship in the state of Georgia. So our economy is incredible and we will continue to work with all of those entrepreneurs in the days ahead and working class Georgians because we are the ones that have been fighting for you when Ms. Abrams was not. We were giving tax refunds. Ms. Abrams, do you have a response? What folks says about this family, I do. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady by the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog.

Your time is up. Let's move on to inflation. Miss Abrams, how'd you get that inflated? Fell asleep on an air hose, motherfucker. Anyways, look at her like a giant grape. Grape lady. So, yeah. So from the little bit I saw of those two debates, and sure, I'm sure there was, it's hard to watch those, I started, I liked them like 15 years ago, but then when the Dems never change their tune, you're racist, you're big, you know it's coming, and it gets boring, and that's when I, you know, go to Pornhub, Listen. Let's move on. Speaking of porn, Naked and Afraid is the new headline. The United, this was interesting, the visual caught me.

The United Nations has called for an urgent investigation after almost 100, actually 92 migrants were found distressed, bruised, and get this, stripped naked at the border between Greece and Turkey. I always get a kick out of that little joke, Turkey and Greece and potatoes and all kinds of shit. Anyways, Dallas, every Thanksgiving I put tips out for cooking the turkey. I've been using the same tool. I go, remember kids, the internal temperature of the bird should be around 68 degrees. And I go, and my other one was, I wanted to know how to stuff a bird properly, but I couldn't find any videos. So I went to Pornhub and clicked on fisting. I'll tell you, it's that type of comedy that's got me in an attic here in Georgia.

Anyways, the border between Greece and Turkey, a bunch of naked migrants, as the two countries fiercely trade blame. I'm sorry, but, you know, I know the Greeks have a reputation for dirty sex, but I'm just saying, the Turks, they're part of that Middle East to me. At least part of the country, like Dallas said. Little nuts. They straddle the fence between civilized and cuckoo. As the two countries fiercely trade blame for the disturbing

discovery. I'm gonna find out what the hell happened here. You do that, Senator. The group of 92 men, no girls? I know, I couldn't find a tit in a pile. I was there for like 20 minutes. Mostly from Afghanistan and Syria, were found close to the Ebros River that marks the border on Friday, Greek police said in a statement Saturday.

Some of the migrants who had entered the country using plastic boats. Now I picture, yeah, like I picture the little one, the kid plays in a tub. What's a plastic boat? Are we that far ahead of you guys? You don't even have real boats. Okay, plastic boats, styrofoam, whatever, whales, to cross, plastic boats to cross showed signs of bodily injuries. Please please well give me some details the united nations high commissioner for refugees that's unhcr that's how you know it's a organization the more the letters you see you on you can just disregard admonished the degrading treatment of the nude asylum seekers and demanded an investigation into the, and so the UN was upset.

What the hell's going on out here? Is that what the UN does? Is that their job? They hear about something bad and they request an investigation? I mean, that's all they do. Most useless thing ever. It's like writing an angry letter. We're very upset at you.

That's exactly right. That's all it is. ever. It's like writing an angry letter. We're very upset at you. That's exactly right. That's all it is. Meanwhile, the two European countries traded accusations and insults. What?

Greek migration minister, notice Matarachi tweeted a picture of the nude men saying, I've got plenty of... Wait a minute. This is spring break, for Christ's sake, in Fort Lauderdale. This looks like what

our college coach said to us when we lost to Lafayette. This was our punishment up at Maine, only it was November. They're all hiding their dicks. Not me. I'd let mine fly in the wind. And you wouldn't see anything. Picture of the nude men, Sadie, claiming his country rescued them after Turkey

stripped them and pushed them into Greek territory. You don't want to be naked in Greek territory if you're a guy. I'm just saying. A lot of backdoor action. That's a big rumor. In response, Turkey slammed the assertion as fake news. Oh my God. You are fake news.

Sir. I love it. Turkey's emulating Trump. Everybody loved the guy. Faretten Alton, the Turkish prime minister, also played a bad guy in fucking Die Hard 3. He's every bad white guy in a movie. move. Prime Minister, Turkey's Prime Minister's chief spokesperson described the allegations as baseless and false in a series of tweets posted late Sunday. He says the vicious back-and-forth comes amid ramped up tensions between the neighbors. Good morning my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! Welcome to Turkey. Turkey is home to the world's largest refugee population

and frequently accuses Greece of violently pushing back migrants entering the country. Greece accuses Turkey of pushing forward migrants. It's sort of like, yeah, I know. It's sort of like when we had Mexico on the border, the people coming out from South and Central America, remember? And Trump made them park them in Mexico, and it worked for a while or whatever. And, of course, Biden, the minute he got there, changed that. What he's doing is so unconstitutional.

He actually said, and he verbalized, if we're not going to let him, we'll fly him in. Anyways, Greece accuses of pushing for migrants to put pressure on the EU. That's the European Union, folks. Despite having agreed to stop the flow of refugees in exchange for billions of euros in aid in a landmark deal in 2016. I'm on the side of Greece. I know that's kind of predictable, but I don't know. The Turks. I've only been to Turkey a couple times when I did the USO at the airport.

I remember David Telfoggan running out and smoking a pack of cigarettes in three minutes. I said, Dave, you got a really Jewish face. Get back on the plane. Anyways. Excuse me. Hey, let me roast your buddy or say happy birthday to your mom through cameo uh dallas has the link on the screen right now go there and you can see some of the cameos i've done and order one for yourself or just go to cameo and search my name it's fun you tell me about

the person and then i make a video on my phone not Not a gross roast. You know, just a couple good jabs. Make the sister cry. Be mean. Say she's fat. She should stay home on prom night. Stuff like that. Funny good comedy. Anyways, go to Cameo.

Let's move on to biracial chick. What? I think this girl, I think Candace Owens opened the door. I mean, she's really well-spoken and beautiful. And I'm not going to say a right winger. She's got her head screwed on straight. A biracial chick, this is a young girl, destroys the concept of white privilege. That means, folks, she's black and white.

At least that's what it looks like. And she even knows that white privilege, who better? And this is what Obama could have done, that jerk-off who was our first biracial president. He could have pointed out the follies and the truths and the untruths about being black and white on both sides. He could have really turned the temperature down. But no, he did just the opposite. And I know cops who have said that things were actually calming down before he came into office. Remember the first thing he did? He called some Harvard cop a dummy because a professor,

they stopped a professor trying to get into his own home by accident. Whatever. Anyways, this girl, her name is Uma from Prager University. Dennis Prager, I used to listen to him when I was in LA. He had a radio show and he's, I think he's Jewish. Is he? I think he's, no, I don't know. But anyway, very smart, very likable guy. And just, you know, and he had, I used to listen to him constantly and he's still got a show on YouTube that's huge, I guess, with millions of subscribers.

And Prager University, you can go to Prager University. I don't know if it's an online thing. I think it is. And they played Nebraska last week at Routed. Anyways, this is Uma. Got to be maybe 20 years old, biracial. this is Uma, gotta be maybe 20 years old, biracial, and she's gonna let the libs know the truth about, you know, go ahead. Go ahead and debunk this whole white privilege thing.

White privilege. Is there a white entertainment category on Netflix, Hulu, and Prime? Yes. No, but there is a black one. Is there a white-owned restaurant category on Uber Eats? No, but there is a black one. Is there a white-owned restaurant category on Uber Eats? No, but there is a black one. There's a black separate menu on Uber Eats? No, a category you can select to get a list of all the black-owned restaurants.

Oh, isn't that terrific? All half of them? Why didn't he get a list of ones they robbed? What? Why would you say such? Because it makes for good footage. Dallas, you could tip that one right in there nice. This girl's asking some poignant questions.

And I love that Dallas knows because Gianna right now is, you know, working her ass off. Back to Smiley. White people being hired to fill a diversity quota in corporations and companies. No, but black people are. And is there a whole system of affirmative action for white students that puts them in colleges of which they are unfit to attend purely based on their race? No, but there is one for black students. And can white people go out and riot and loot and burn down businesses in the streets

while being cheered on by the political left? No, but black people can white people don't you dare say a word because you'll be labeled a racist if you want to know who's in power in your country think about who you cannot criticize i love you for helping me to construct of my life not a tavern but a temple my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. I'm not saying her. I like her message in her brain. I'm not after the physical. You know me. I go for the brain.

I don't want to fuck girls like Bobby Slate because I want to debate them. Alright. See how excited she was getting? No! All of it true. Every word of it. So again, there's such thing as black privilege. But see, that's never going to catch on because we don't have the megaphone. And apparently we don't want the megaphone. Ted Cruz keeps popping into my head as a traitor. For a guy who's so smart, he's done nothing but yap. You know what I mean?

Anyways, victimization and entitlement complex ideologies are false gods who will always disappoint. Oh, these are comments after that I found. And never deliver. Very insidious way to destabilize and destroy a nation from the inside out. Trialed on black communities, but now a different version is being seeded into the white communities. Crack deaths and now fentanyl. Not a chance any of that shit is coming into the country, this guy says, without the deep state's knowledge.

I thought that was right on the mark. Yes, sir. It's all intentional, folks. You promise people stuff, you get them hooked on, you know, on welfare and all that. It kills you. It stifles you. No ambition. You know what I mean?

It stifles you in every way. And that's done intentionally. That's what the Dems have been doing. They're the ones that come up with all the programs and tell black people, look, we get gifts for you. But they're finally, I think they get it now. Giuliani, when I lived in New York, he came in after Dinkins. And that was the whole, he had this, everybody was on welfare in New York. And Giuliani came in and came up with his work to welfare. You had to work at least so many hours to get your welfare check. And it fucking worked beautifully. I'll never forget it. And there would be interview people on the news,

black people, yeah, I hadn't worked in years. And it's part of a fulfilling life. And I mean, the results were there, but just like, you know, how you wiped out crime, they pissed all over that. So anyways, when they, another guy says, when they give you something for free, they're destroying your creativity. That's right. Creativity is perishable if not nurtured, just like a knife that rusts away if not used. Why'd you pick that? Keep your knife, i.e. mind, sharp by being creative.

This is all true. Your brain atrophies, you know, short-term help needs to be just that, short-term. In other words, and when these things were created, these safety nets, they weren't supposed to be permanent if you read your history.

Anything beyond that destroys you. That's why the Dems love it so much. I'm not talking about the handicapped and those who cannot work, obviously. The guy says, why am I writing this? Think about all the stuff that's being given away for free without any accountability. Think about all the lives that have been destroyed. In the end, this is about one thing and one thing only. Eliminating competition.

Without a worthy opponent. People get to stay on top of forever. And this guy's had enough. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore. Was that Uma? Yep. Holy moly. Rack two?

Imagine some guy on Fox saying that. Catch Hannity off, Mike. You'd be put in prison forever. So I'm reading this paper this weekend, you know, online, because I like to read articles and have Viagra ads pop up. And one of the headlines, four guys, the headline of this is okie dokie. In Oklahoma, these four young guys went for a bike ride on Sunday, and guess what?

They didn't return. So I'm like, oh, boy. I said to my wife, I go, this ain't going to end pretty. I know that. And a lot of times you forget about these stories, and you don't follow up on them, but this was headlines like yesterday. Police on Monday confirmed that the bodies

pulled from an Oklahoma River last week were the four missing bicyclists and revealed that the men had been shot and dismembered. That's a bad bike ride. On their way to commit

a crime. Are you interested in the real story? Oh God, yes. Okmulgee police chief Joe Prentiss said the human remains pulled from the deep Fork River. Ooh, I don't even like the sound of that place. On Friday belonged to

Mark Chastain, 32, his brother Billy Chastain, 30. You go clockwise here from left to right, top. Mike Sparks, 32, down below in the low left corner. You guys remember Hal Sparks? Does he not look like Hal Sparks? It's a little theory. I don't know if Hal Sparks is from Oklahoma,

but that guy's Mike Sparks. And to the right of him, Alex Stevens, 29 years old, the kid on the lower right, who, by the way, I don't know. I think, I don't know. For some reason, even if he wasn't with these guys, I don't think it was going to be good for him in the end. I don't know. I'm not happy, folks. I'm just saying. But it gets interesting.

It gets interesting. He said authorities believe that the cyclist had been in the process of committing a crime when they went missing on a bike ride from one of their houses last Sunday evening. They find him in the river, shot and chopped up. Nick, why? Well, it's theater of the mind. Let's listen to the sheriff. Based on information obtained during the course of the investigation, we believe the men planned to commit some type of criminal act

when they left the residence on West 6th Street. That belief is based on information supplied by a witness who reports they were invited to go with the men to, quote-unquote, hit a lick big enough for all of them. We do not know what they planned or where they planned to do it. Well, I'll tell you, it wasn't Arby's and it wasn't Shoplift. Let me tell you, Sheriff, sound like a drug deal. I think they're moving in on some other drug deal,

and the druggie's got word of it, right? And camped out and said, wait for these rednecks to show up and try to take our shit. But don't forget, because this, I don't even know what, I'm already painting these suspects as brown or whatever. I was just going to say, but there's gangs all out, you know, throughout the country, Mexicans, and I'm not even saying it's Mexican. You know what I'm saying?

There's bad people everywhere. One of the victims, his cell phone last pinged at a salvage yard owned by a person of interest in the case, Joe Kennedy. That's right. The Joe Kennedy. The ghost. A search of a nearby scrapyard. Jesus. Turned up evidence of a violent event. Well, give me some details.

You know what I mean? I stubbed my toe. That's violent. Or I step on a Lego. And police were looking to speak to Kennedy, who had been interviewed by cops Friday before going missing a day later, police said. Oh, my goodness gracious.

I'm going to stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? No. Katie was, Katie. Katie, borrow the door. Kennedy was not considered a suspect but was possibly suicidal. Well, then he took the right bike ride. Prentice said the remains had likely been in the water since last Sunday

and were not weighed down. The victims' bicycles had not been. That means they wanted people to find this shit. Again, sounds very, I don't want to say. Very cartel-like. Yeah, it does. Thank you very much. That was Dallas, my producer.

He lives at 226 Mockingbird Lane. Bicycles had not been recovered, nor had a murder weapon. They did find a Nerf football with blood on it. I just threw that in there. What? Anyhow. How about that, though, huh? And I'm telling you, that's my theory.

Hal Sparks, that kid has to be related. Hey, guys, make plans to come and see me on the road, could you? It's really lonely out there. If I have to call one more escort service that sends me a lady in her 70s with a pawed belly and a mustache, I don't know what I'm going to do. Here's where I'll be and when. November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. November 12th, the next night, Snapper's Comedy Club, Fort Myers, Florida. November 13th, that next night, Sides comedy club in tampa uh i'll be doing a q and a after the show live with vip ticket holders january 13th and 4th

the comedy off broadway that's really off broadway when you're in lexington kentucky that's january 13th and 4th february 3 and 4th, the Grove Comedy Club, Lowell, Arkansas, March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City in Missouri, you can get tickets at all these shows at nickdip.com and click on the tour button, let's move on, black on white violence, folks, a 10-year-old boy was mauled by a 250-pound black bear. The kid was white, so I thought I'd make it racial. And nearly dragged away before the child's grandfather and a neighbor scared the wild animal off. That's some too tough fucking old guy. You're going to eat lightning and you're going to drop thunder.

Let's take a listen to the news. This is happening a lot. Where was this? Connecticut. Yes, this is in Connecticut. Jersey. All in the... And this is why you have to hunt. It's like nature's fighting back. I mean, yeah.

This is why you have to hunt. People get upset at hunting and shit. I mean, deer are literally like fucking rats they multiply and and if you don't call them i think is the word right i need to call a few democrats each year what season's that open um but this is what happens and and we build you know uh we're sort of intruding on where they used to live with our houses and shit. And this is going to happen if you don't hunt. And anyways, here's the news. You don't hear.

This is from Connecticut. A 10-year-old boy playing outside his grandparents' house in Connecticut when the 250-pound black bear started dragging him away. It was Stacey Abrams. Out of the woods, unexpectedly. From Atlanta. He wanted a boat. Dragged him off toward the woods.

The boy's grandfather, who reportedly uses a wheelchair, throwing this metal bar at its head. And a neighbor heard the screams and managed to scare the animal back, freeing the boy, but it wouldn't go away. Like an ex-girlfriend. I like they said the grandfather reportedly used a wheelchair. Why would he lie about it? Threw a metal bar at it.

Thanks, Grampy, that'll help. Oh, my God. The boy was playing near a trampoline. That's his first mistake. That's for young gay kids. In the backyard of his grandfather's home, when the bear came out of the woods and attacked him, I heard him yell, bear.

And when I looked up, I saw his leg in the bear's mouth. God damn it. And the bear tried to drag him across the lawn. James Butler said to the Republican American of Waterbury, Oh my God, Waterbury, that's like a city. That's the paper. Butler said they were able to get into the home. This is the part that scared the shit out of me.

But the bear came back and looked at him through the screen door. And the bear said, I left my watch. Or whatever. Can you imagine the fucking bear comes to your house? It's like the shitty Jaws movie. When they did like Jaws 5, the sharks are knocking. Remember?

Anyways, the fucking dog, the bear comes back and knocks on the door. Hello? Hello? Nobody's home. Hello? We're doing the dishes, you fat fuck. We thought he was coming through the dishes, you fat fuck. We thought he was coming through the screen, the grandfather said.

No doubt he was a big threat. He said, first I thought it was Stacey Abrams. Then I smelled it. I knew it was Stacey. Now, the boy had a puncture wound on his thigh, had claw marks on his back. Sounds like a good night of sex to me. And had bite marks on his foot. Maybe that's a great night. And ankle.

And his nuts were missing. Good night, everybody. He was transported to hospital for treatment of his injuries. What am I, Russian? He was transported to hospital. Not the hospital. To hospital. For injuries which were not life-threatening. No, but he'll be scarred mentally. You know what I'd do if that's my nephew

and he's in the hospital? I'd bring him for a gift, a teddy bear. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Anyways, to end the story, and on a sad note, it depends how you feel if you're the kid. Environmental Conservation Force and state officials shot and killed the bear. Bye-bye. Oh, for the love of God, he was doing what comes next.

This is me getting old, though, because when I was young, I had a pellet gun and a BB, and I would kill pheasants and pigeons and even shoot at the neighbors across the street when the mail boy, the paper boy came. But as you get older, you know, if I see like a spider now, you know what? I'll pick it up, and I'll

carry it to the front door. Then I'll go, fuck it. I step on it. Because I'm big and I'm strong. Oh, stop it. Anyhow, oh, yes. This was in January in Florida. I just wanted, I remember seeing this clip and going, what goes with this story? This guy, his little black dogs come in.

This is actually funny. Only in Florida. His little black dogs come in. This is actually funny. Only in Florida. His little black dogs come in, and they have a friend that, you know, surprises the guy. It's an actual fucking bear. Take a look at this clip. Oh, my God!

I got attacked by a bear! Oh, God help me. I was attacked by a bear. He said when they interviewed him, he thought it was a big dog. Lucky that wasn't like a big-ass bear. He went in there face first. That could have ended beautifully. How about the little dogs coming in? Look who we brought home. Fuck that. Anyways, that's one of my fears. I'd rather be eaten by a shark than being mauled by a black bear. I just, remember last year we did a story, three kids in the New Jersey woods, three or four kids, went in the afternoon, just like hiking and shit.

And there was an Indian kid who didn't get away. Bear probably smelled curry or whatever. Nick, why the cheap? I don't know. Can you imagine getting mauled by a, what's that movie? Legends of the Fall? Right? Yeah, where Brad Pitt goes against the Grizzlies.

Isn't that great? Don't you love that? That was a great fucking movie. And I was flipping through some more footage of bears. And you got these guys in Russia wrestling. They're in the woods with no shirt on. There's snow on the ground. I go, this has to be fake.

It has to be, right? The bear would kill you. They're wrestling these big. And then they show, here's what freaked me out. You know, Khabib, whatever, Magadogov, who retired. I can never say his last name. He retired from MMA. He was like 29 and 0, or 19 and a 29 and 0.

Arguably the best to ever do it. He's from over there in those breakaway, you know, old republics of Russia. And they show him when he's like, I don't know, seven years old and his father's got him wrestling these bears. You know, not big bears, but a fucking bear. And he's pitting the goddamn things. You wonder why they're so good over here? What are we doing? We got Admiral Levine showing you how to put on eyeshadow.

We are fucked. Wrestling a bear when he's a kid. Anyways. Finally tonight, a taste of, hey, is that you? I couldn't come up with a good one. Dallas comes up. The headline, a taste of Dickerson.

Well done. Chris Collinsworth dropped something a bit more suggestive than a telestrator pen during this week's installment of Sunday Night Football. I don't know how I missed this because I, well, I was probably, you know, I had a guitar in my hand. One week after tossing a pen into the crowd during the Ravens' 1970 win over the Bengal, who cares, in Baltimore, the longtime broadcaster offered up a curious comment Sunday when discussing Philadelphia's guard Landon Dickerson during the NFC East showdown

between the Eagles and the Cowboys. Listen closely to what Chris Collinsworth says here. And it's just, there's a lot of lingo in football. Penetration. You could do this 10 times a game. But this one, it was real poetry. Listen to what he said by accident, I think. How about if we get a little taste of Landon Dickerson coming right down your throat.

A little taste of Landon Dickerson coming right down your throat. That is poetry in motion. And of course, people on media, you know, they picked up on it which is good you should pay paying attention that's fucking i would love if they intimate calls or if they go that was actually no man i slipped that shit in all the time i'm a real pig like al michaels is a degenerate he loves gambling and they always i love when he's on the air there'll be a block whatever i missed pat at the end of the game that means nothing, and he'll always have to go,

a lot of people are disappointed about that. Collinsworth's remarks didn't go unnoticed on Twitter because a bunch of people have nothing better to do than hang on everybody's word and jerk-offs. Excuse me, Chris Collinsworth, one Twitter user wrote, while another posted, Chris Collinsworth

really said this on national primetime TV? Yeah, it was an accident. I suck cock, and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. That's not what he said. Former Browns tackle Joe Thomas also quipped, if you had Chris Collinsworth saying, how about a taste of Landon Dickinson coming right down your throat

on your bingo card? You're looking at Cash and Big tonight. Why would that be on your bingo card? Although Collinsworth's commentary caught much of social media off guard, Eagles head coach Nick Cerani, by the way, 6-0 Eagles, also had something of a hot mic moment

when he dropped an F-bomb on the sidelines after a post-whistle scuffle. Only in the United States of America could adults get giddy about a coach saying fuck During a football game You know what I mean It's not like he was like Now that would be worth talking about

Alright that is it for today ladies and gentlemen Good show a lot of diversity As far as thought, not color. Equity? Equity. No, I can't say equity. Fuck, it makes me sick. Can you imagine the board games and we're letting it happen?

Your government's under attack. I don't mean to overstate this, but I, oh, I forgot to tell you. I printed out, Dale, I started printing out headlines from New York City last night. I was on four or five. I was just going to read the headlines because they were so brutal. Another guy gets pushed to his death in front of a subway in Queens. The next headline was mother pushing stroller gets choked by complete stranger. Man sets restaurant on fire because he gets the wrong chicken order.

And that was on video. They were throwing gas. Why would you still live there? And I'm forgetting another one. Somebody stabbed in the back of the head. So they've emptied the nuthouses, and they're sicking them on you, the taxpaying. Why you would live?

And don't give me this shit. Oh, I got to work there. This isn't 1911. You know what I'm saying? I really, honestly, I can't imagine living there right now. Fucking A. Come down to Georgia. We've got great people down here.

Stacey Abrams and Deion Sanders kid. That's it. You guys think that I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a good day. I'm a wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild guitar solo Outro Music