The Nick DiPaolo Show - VP Harris tests Negative for COVID and COMPETENCE | Nick Di Paolo Show #575

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Hosebag Pelosi about to get EMBARRASSED. Don't get your panties in a bunch! F-L-A.

Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. Biden was supposed to do that,

but they found him two hours away at a little league field by himself crying. crying Oh yeah, how are you folks? Welcome to the big show on a Tuesday. A Tuesday. How you doing? Interesting world out there, isn't it? Sure it is. Oh, my ears are still ringing. Eight o'clock this morning.

Sawzalls, jackhammers, hammers, my dog's barking. I don't know how people have families and raise kids and shit. I almost started crying this morning. I can't live in an adult world. Tearing down the wall of my kitchen. Oh, it's beautiful. I can look at the neighbors now when I'm making baklava. The hillbillies next to it. Oh, I'm so tired. Anyhow. Jen Psaki, huh? At least, you know what? She made the... Well, she cheated.

Like a Democrat, she didn't stand on the rubber. I'm not sure she stood on a lot of rubbers in her days. All used. What? Anyways, at least she made it to the catcher almost. What do we want to talk about? All kinds of nonsense going on out there as far as

I'm not even covering Bezos he went to the moon if it crashed yes I would have done an hour of belly laughs on it you know all the employees at Amazon had their fingers crossed hoping that that thing was going to pull a challenger by the way it looked like a giant vibrator.

She's fucking perfect for dickhead. Anyhow, so yeah, let's get on with it. Speaking of DC and the Nats, this woman's been around since Jesus. They invented radio. MSNBC anchor, that would be, you know who, who Andrea Mitchell she's in her late hundreds God help her

she calls Washington D.C. safe and wonderful while noting a city's already had a hundred homicides this year you see how words just spill out and they mean nothing anymore you know I mean nobody and if somebody picks up on that you know You see how words just spill out and they mean nothing anymore? You know what I mean?

Nobody, and if somebody picks up on that, you know, you're an asshole. You're picking on a woman. But words don't mean anything, boy. You just go on TV, babble shit, people nod their head. Yeah, Andrea Mitchell praised DC as safe and wonderful, she said. You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. And then in the same sentence, she bemoaned the nation's capitals surpassing 100 homicides already in 2021.

See, they can't both be true. Speaking with D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, another happy black woman in power, in the aftermath of Saturday night shooting outside the Washington Nationals baseball stadium. Too bad Jen wasn't throwing out that. I'm kidding. She seemed like a good kid. Mitchell stumbled as she closed the interview. Now listen to this nitwit just contradicting. You can't blame her. She's almost like Biden. Her memory is shot. She married Milton Friedman, the guy with the head of the reserve. And look at Bowser over there.

Who the fuck elected her to anything with that Century 21 jacket? Let's listen to Andrea say something that's obviously untrue and then knit with the mayor nodding her head. That's what they do. Go ahead. And we know how safe and wonderful our city is. This is just a shocking way that it was displayed for the whole country to see in a place that has been improving in safety. But we do have over 100 commicides here already this year. And it is really of concern. What you just said

is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. You know, the city's been getting better. It's much much safer now except for the 400 rapes and murders that happened in the last three weeks but other than that this is a bastion of uh

you know it's one of the voted one of the best places to live if you want your teenagers to die at 17 am i right mayor stupid another mayor of a lib city failing miserably maybe if you change it to a state everything will be better yuck according to the washington post as of last week and that's the wapo uh homicides in dc were up three percent from the same time in 2020 and homicides are rising in the city for the fourth straight year. These blames. No, no, no.

Who knows what they're going to take the wrong way. Bowser said the city was committed to finding the perpetrators on Saturday and those contributing to a lack of sense of safety in our town. Are you going to go out and get them? Huh? It's funny. I think you're too busy arresting people in their 70s that were at the Capitol on January 6th.

How about that, huh? You got them in a second. Why don't you put the FBI on it? The real problem in the country, not white supremacy. I say to everyone, she says, that we have a beautiful city riddled with bullet holes and needles. We have parks and recreation centers. You have parks. Good luck not stepping on a dirty needle or fucking homeless feces. A beautiful park to pick up fucking jaundice. So many amenities for people to enjoy.

All the statues that used to be there that we toured on. It's a beautiful city. But we do have to be very focused on finding the people, and there are a few of them, and focus on the places. Also a few of them that are contributing to a lack of a sense of safety in our town. And we're very committed to getting to the bottom of it, she said. It's a stupid, stupid, stupid. Let me give you a little tip.

Start looking for people that look like you. That's racist. No, it's not. Look up the statistics. Anybody out there that thinks when somebody comments on black crime that they're being racist, just go to the FBI fucking website and look it up for yourselves. We're going to focus on really three people shooting at each other. We're going to put the whole shot at. You'll be at Applebee's for fucking jalapeno popper night.

People being stabbed in the ass a fucking mile from your $2 million condo. DC, huh? Have you ever, more useless people working in that city and nobody's been there longer fucking it up. When you say swamp and you think swamp creature, this broad is at the bottom or the top of the swamp, whatever. House hosebag, if I knew a name for her. Nancy Pelosi, she's about to get embarrassed. What do you mean? Well, she put together a committee, you know. She put together a committee to get to the bottom of January 6th. This is all kabuki theater, folks. Look over here while we're doing this over here. That's all it is. A committee to investigate those white supremacists, even though half of them were fucking Antifa invading the goddamn Capitol on January 6th.

People still, white people, still in solitary confinement, not being charged with anything. What the fuck? That is so cuba-like it's unbelievable house minority leader kevin mccarthy i don't trust this guy either because he lives with frank luntz you know frank luntz is he looks like a bull mastiff he does all those polls roly-poly guy with neck fat and he's he's and he's he's just a money grub he's one of those guys will sell out the republican party in a second and this guy like fucking rents a room from him i don't trust mccarthy either he seems like one of those guys i don't know i and i i just have it in the back mind in a year from now we'll find that he's a real rhino house minority leader kevin mccarthy plans to announce announce Monday the names of the five Republicans

who will sit on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's committee to investigate the riot. Was that a riot? That occurred January 6th at the U.S. Capitol. And I just don't like her. She's a malignant cunt. That's right, Pauly. You said it. McCarthy will appoint Reps Jim Jordan.

He's a Republican, Ohio. You know him. He's always at these hearings. And he always does a great job. He's a Republican, Ohio. You know him. He's always at these hearings and he always does a great job. He attacks these people, calls them out on their bullshit. But then what happens? Nothing ever happens. Nobody follows up on it. And the Democrats skate no matter what it is. So he'll be there. And then you got Jim Banks, Republican, Indiana. These are all people, by the way. These are all, this is why I like this, the people he chose. They all wanted a recount.

They all disagreed with certifying the last election as legitimate. So they got a real beef here. Then you got Troy Nails, Republican, Texas. Kelly Armstrong, Republican, North Dakota, and Rodney Dangerfield. I almost said Rodney Dangerfield. I'll tell you, there was no insurrection. You could tell it wasn't a professional job.

Antifa, one of the guys pulled a knife on me. I could tell it wasn't a pro job. They had butter on it. I got a very ugly daughter. She married a very ugly guy. In fact, they're all so ugly in the family album. They only keep the negatives. I'll tell you. Rodney Davis, stop it. Republican Illinois to sit on the 13-member select committee. According to senior house GOP aide familiar with the matter. All McCarthy's appointees voted against impeachment of former President Trump. And in January, all voted against establishing the select committee itself.

That they're now on. Jordan Banks and Nails also voted against certifying the 2020 electoral college results in certain disputed states. Which, you know, good. Good for them. Let's see if they can keep their balls up during this. Jim Jordan's great at this shit. They must go home. It's like a roast.

It's like doing a roast for a famous person. He'll call out every contradiction. This could actually work in the Republicans' favor. Nothing works in a studio that's fucking chair. Anyways, Jordan is a ranking member of the Judiciary Committee and a long-time oversight bull. And Banks is a rising star within his caucus. What does that mean? Is he black? No, he chairs the Republican Study Committee. What the hell is that? Apparently, you haven't been studying hard enough. We're getting smoked. How many committees are there?

How does anything get done? After the publishing of this story, Banks and Jordan issued responses to their committee's appointments. Banks released a statement saying Democrats' failure to investigate the violent riots that stemmed from Black Lives Matter protests last summer indicates they are unserious about investigating political violence. You can't argue with that. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? That is, that really is the one that jumps out at me you got fucking so-called white supremacist husbands and wives that were trump supporters who were just hanging around the

capital that day in jail meanwhile we have fucking antifa uh blm all those scumbags burning and looting we have fucking footage miles of footage of them. And Kamala Harris was actually helping bail them out when it happened in Minneapolis. Just let that settle in. If Democrats were serious about investigating political violence, this committee would be studying not only the January 6th riot at the Capitol, but also the hundreds of violent political riots last summer when many more innocent Americans in law enforcement offices were attacked, Banks said, adding, and of course, the committee would not overlook the Good Friday

murder of USCP officer Billy Evans that was perpetrated by a far-left extremist. Boy, that one, I even forgot about that one. That went away in a hurry. Well, the mainstream media, they're not going to tell you that. You notice, I can't remember in my lifetime a righty, and don't say Tim McVeigh because they said he was a far right Christian. He wasn't a fucking Christian. I can't remember a far right person. You know, like the guy that shot up the Republicans on the ball field

and the shooting I just mentioned. Can you remember a far-right person just fucking unloading? Call me if you do. 1-800-BULLSHIT. Banks continued. Make no mistake, Nancy Pelosi created this committee solely to malign the conservatives and to justify the left's authoritarian agenda amen get out of my room you sick cunt you can't

say that on the committee she'll get mad at you throw her wig at you jordan responded only by i'm going to show you this video we won't i i think i gave you too much map but we'll i'll tell you when i could jordan responded only by posting a video compilation to social media of a string of Democrats objecting to pass presidential election results. Remember, they keep saying, you know, the people, Trump people and Rudy and me, saying that that election was stolen. We all fucking know it was stolen. It was rife with fraud. And the Democrats say to you, if you say that, conspiracy theorists, sour grapes, let it go, da, da, da.

Meanwhile, this is how they reacted, I think, when Trump won. There are many people out there who have not given up on seeing Hillary Clinton in the White House. I have an objection. I object to the certificate from the state of Alabama. You can run the best campaign, you can even become the nominee, and you can have the election stolen from you. Mr. President, I object to the certificate from the state of Georgia. Mr. President, I object to the votes from the state of Wisconsin.

There is circumstantial evidence of collusion. I object to the certificate from the state of North Carolina. of collusion. I object to your vest. Mr. President, I object. You're a member of the judiciary. Do you believe the president right now has been an agent of the Russians? Yes, I think there's more evidence. In between eating Chinese pussy, there's plenty of evidence. All the arrows point in that direction.

I haven't seen a single piece of evidence that he's not. I object to the 15 votes from the state of North Carolina. Mr. President, I object on behalf of the millions of Americans. All right, that's enough. I can't take these fucking assholes. You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. Hey, Adam, where have you been hiding? What rock are you under? How the fuck is that guy

still a politician? Go home and treat your rosacea. Did you hear all the objections when Trump won? They have the balls. And by the way, that was a legitimate fucking election. They have the balls to look Republicans in the eye, anybody who believes the last one was fraudulent,

to say that's just sour grapes. Does anybody really believe fucking Joe? I've lost my mind. Biden got a record number of votes. They hate him at the nursing home. He's in charge of the pudding there. Mixed in with two conservative stalwarts are Nels, an Army veteran and former country, country?

I think that means county sheriff. It says country sheriff. Is he from Oklahoma? County sheriff who will bring a police officer's perspective to the committee. Armstrong, a top criminal defense attorney. And Davis, who is the most familiar with Capitol security through his position as ranking member of the administration committee. All right, so look up. This will be a good fucking dust-up, I hope.

Put him up. Put him up! Mr. House... Mr. Speaker, I object to Donald Trump. He's a blonde billionaire alpha male. I don't like him. Who said that? A communist cocksucker. Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here

who just signed his own death warrant? Eric Swallowswell. That be who. Let's stay in D.C., huh? Let's stay in the swamp and get all dirty and stinky and filthy. Headline, cackling whore. Test negative for COVID. Positive for bad brains.

Should be just positive for no brains, bad brains. Did I write that? Vice President Kamala Harris tested negative for COVID-19 after making out with a obese Chinese woman in her late 70s. No. Obese Chinese woman in her late 70s. No. After meeting with several Texas House Democrat lawmakers who recently contracted the virus, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki confirmed that on Monday. She said, I think the vice president's office put out that she was tested and there was no detection of COVID-19, Psaki said. They also put out some specific details about the proximity to the individuals who tested positive as well.

We take these precautions incredibly seriously and you shouldn't because it's all a hoax and abide by the guidance of our help and medical experts, she said. You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. She said, How do you mean, Randall? It's a nice fish, Doc. What's that, a chinook? About 50 pounds? No, 55. You didn't weigh the chain, did you, Doc?

God, my favorite movie, one of five of the Texas House Democrats who traveled, we did this story, to Washington, D.C., have tested positive for COVID-19 in recent Did I address the sound problems? I didn't. I meant to do that up front. You guys had called attention that the sound was off. First of all, and some say the picture too. We know the cause of one of them. We're uploading it in SD instead of HD. Somebody was trying to save money apparently.

I don't know, but the picture should be fine. As far as the sound goes, we haven't quite nailed the, Matt, what do you think? We talked about this. We don't know what the issue was. Could it be a file, an audio file, corruption? Matt, what do you think? We talked about this. We don't know what the issue was. Could it be a file, an audio file? Corruption? Well, I'm actually now even wondering if it's the port on the Wirecast that spits the sound out.

The port on the Wirecast that spits this. My point is we're working on it, folks. Again, I remind you, this is Internet. This is like TV in 1955 when it first came out. So we're working on the bugs, and we apologize for that. But we have figured out one of the problems, and the sign will get fixed. So somebody's supposed to do quality control before the thing goes out. Look at it to see if everything's okay.

But that person might be asleep at the switch. I'm going to have to pull a Don, Donald that person might be asleep at the switch. I'm going to have to pull a Donald Trump. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. Anyways, let's get back to the cackling whore Harris. She met with Texas lawmakers last Tuesday. When asked whether the White House was disappointed that the lawmakers did not wear masks on their flight to the nation's capital, Psaki declined to directly respond, because that would have included some honesty and some truth. They can't even admit when they're fucking, you know,

she should have said, yeah, that was ridiculous. She said, here's her statement. Boy, is she a great bullshitter. Where do they teach this anyways? I don't think I'm going to be in a position here to assess what safety precautions they may or may not have taken. What? Fucking bitch. What are you talking about? Just look at the tape that we've all been looking at. Everybody was taking selfies and filming themselves on the plane, but you don't know yet? You

can't go out on that limb? Can you't you just, can you imagine if that was a Republican, playing full of Republicans? Oh, I don't know. I can't draw a conclusion. Shut the fuck up. None of them had masks on and five of them got COVID. Just say it. Say it, redhead.

Ginger. Obviously, these individuals were out. Listen to this. They were out there trying to elevate the issue of individuals' right to vote, Saki said. That you're out. They were out fighting a battle that 90% of the country agrees on should be done, and that is securing election integrity. They're making it sound like the civil rights leaders are getting sprayed with hoses and shit. You're making it sound like the civil rights leaders are getting sprayed with hoses and shit.

She says, what's important for everybody to know is that my tits have gone from a B cup to a C. She says, what's important for everybody to know is that vice president was tested, she added. She, of course, takes these precautions seriously and would follow any advice our public health officials give us. She's not an asshole, you know. I know you heard she's a bitch and a twat from people, anybody who's ever worked for her the last 20 years, but that's all baloney.

Psaki said no additional precautions were being taken to separate Harris from President Biden following her meeting with the lawmakers, and that must be true. We saw the two making out in the West Wing through a window. Gabba gabba ghoul. Harris went to Walter Reed Medical Center on Sunday to give some veterans handjobs. She was turned away at the door. No. She went to Reed Medical Center on Sunday for what her office describes as a routine doctor's appointment. Apparently, she's been queefing out of control.

Oh, for the crub of Christ. Officials said Harris was not in close contact with the infected lawmakers and would not need to quarantine. Of course not. When they asked her about it, this is her typical response

to everything. Hey, bitch, what you laughing at? Don't ask a straight question, yo. Can't you just say they were wrong to not have masks? And by the way, folks, I'm reading the headlines every day because it's my job. Oh, yeah. You'll be wearing a mask in about a month and a half. I'd say around September. It's all coming back. Vegas and L.A. already are making people wear masks inside again. Keep that ball in the air, motherfuckers.

It's all been tried before. Go to the Rockefeller Institute. It's a big, long name. Rockefeller Institute slash lockstep. That was written in 2011. They tried it with N1, H1N1, but they didn't, like a buddy of mine said, they didn't have the reach. There weren't 100 billion people on Facebook at that point,

so they couldn't scare the planet. But it's all there. You can get up every morning and check what's going on. There's 10 people running the planet and this is how they want it apparently. Fucking Rockefellers. David Rockefeller, what an evil fuck. That's just my opinion.

Like I'm going to run into a Rockefeller here in Garden City. Let's move on to some news that have girls in it. I like girls. I'm an old-fashioned guy. I still like tits and ass, you know? You know what I mean?

I'm not into those trannies. That's an old term, Nick. I know I'm going to keep it alive. I don't want a broad who's got shoulders like fucking, you know, Shaq. Hands like Bruce Jenner and feet like Dorothy Hamill. I get all confused. Headline, don't get your panties in a bunch. Don't get your panties in a bunch, T.

Not for nothing. I want to see some ass when I'm watching volleyball. And what one Norwegian commentator called a panties crisis, the Norwegian women's beach handball teams, oh, it's not even volleyball, it's handball. Why do you have to play handball in the sand? Beach handball teams, imagine this is national news, against what they say is uncomfortable and degrading attire.

Boy, you feminists have just fucked up the world. I hope you all get sick. Anyways, degrading attire has Boy, you feminists have just fucked up the world. I hope you all get sick. Anyways, degrading attire has been put to an end. That argument has been put to an end by the Handball Association. Stop! Thank you. At the European Championships in beach handball,

the game attire has landed in the spotlight with specific rules for how the women should be dressed according to the sports regulations. Women should wear, that's not bad right there, women should wear a bikini where the top should be, this is, I guess guys wrote the rules, right? I'll make my point at the end. Slow down there. Hold on. Don't do the reveal yet.

Where the top should be a tight-fitting sports bra with deep openings at the arms, the international regulations state. The bottom not be more than 10 centimeters on the sides. Who made this? Hunter Biden? He's right. And these girls are unhappy. They wanted to wear these boy shorts. On the sides, who made this? Hunter Biden? He's right. And these girls are unhappy.

They wanted to wear these boy shorts. I'm going to be honest. They look decent, but come on. What compares to, you know, girls on the way? You know what I'm saying? You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. Okay, Tony.

It's your rules. It's your ball. They're not my fucking rules. I've always been there. The Norwegian women's handball team isn't advancing into the finals, but before Denmark and Germany became finals, the ladies of Norway had something to say. They always do. I am here.

I have things to say. The Norwegian Beach Handball Association has long been pushing for the international regulation demanding tight-fitting sports bras and bikini bottoms to be abolished. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Indian Sports 11 report. Before the European Championships in Bulgaria,

they planned to protest against the regulations and play in thigh-length tights. The Norwegian ladies were prepared to pay the fines that the violation would entail, but as the premier match against Hungary approached, things got more complicated. First, we were told about a fine of 50 euros per person per match, something that would have landed us a fine of about 4,850 euros.

We accepted that. Player Katinka Hedvlich told the national broadcaster NRK. However, just before the match, we were told we will be disqualified if we play like that. So we had to go with the bikini bottoms. I don't know who's running this operation, but I like it. Girls, you're beautiful. You're so proud of your bodies, especially feminine. You always talk about, I mean, you just, you know, people want to see it. Girls, guys, trannies, you don't want to hide those asses. You've been

working on them for a good five years now. The European, I also see their point. I'm not going to be a fucking liberal fag here, but the European Handball Federation, EHF, explained in EHF talks, explained that they have

merely clarified the list of penalties for the Norwegian Federation, but that disqualification was never an option, they said. We have lost players due to the suits. The players tell me they are uncomfortable, feel naked. Yeah, that's the whole idea. And watched. Well, don't you want to be watched?

It is a sport with a lot of movement, and you are hindered by the bikini. How can a bikini, which is basically one-eighth of an ounce, hinder you? It's a beautiful thing over there. French national team manager Valerie Nicholas said, seen here. I still believe her first name is Nicholas. That's Valerie Nicholas. Looks like me in fucking high school. She was back in Norway.

There was also discomfort associated with menstruation, which I had a problem with that when I was wearing my football pants. And not least, she says, religion. Could you bring up more fucking whiny poo-poo?

Pee-pee? Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy. Yummy, you guys. See, it wasn't a problem until women that look

like men got into this. You know what I mean, we feel naked. Here's my, here's the, here are the options, ladies. It's the sad truth. I don't care if it sounds misogynistic. You're fucking, nobody would give a shit about your sport if you

weren't wearing, go all the way, put on Hager slacks, double knit, and see how many people come to the games. Same with volleyball on TV. Ever watch beach volleyball? You'd think people are tuning in because you can really spike it. It's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

The female farmer. It's a beautiful thing. I like figure skating. They get asses like nectarines. Never tell anybody outside of the figure skating. We just love girls. You're beautiful. Even the manly ones. You still have nice asses.

We're going to watch. Otherwise, you know, forget about it. You might as well be wearing fucking London fog coats. Nobody's going to give a shit. Ba-ba! Hey, Matthew, and I want you to talk into the microphone when you answer me. How is your wife enjoying The Sopranos?

We are two episodes into season two. Oh, it's delicious. I don't know if listeners are prepared for spoiler, but as you asked me, Pussy is not yet dead, so she's eagerly waiting for it. But she's enjoying

it. Oh, yeah. God bless her. I might have to get ready if she didn't like it. That would break my fucking heart. It's my favorite thing ever that came out. That movie, the fucking Saints of Newark, I am just, I can't wait. Oh, yeah.

I told you we're trying to get through all of the seasons so we can go to the movie when it comes out. Oh, you should be able, if you're like me, and live a sedentary lifestyle. I'd bang through 10 of those in a night. You could give me the lines to a scene. Have your wife email me, and I'll finish the scene for her. I don't care what episode, what season.

I wish there was a Soprano quiz show. It's the one thing I would ace. Anyways, let's get back to the... A lot of female anger out there. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. This bull dyke really got under my nerves. She's also, not only is she an angry lesbian

like there's any other kind, um, she's a hateful fucking racist. Because, again, she should have been born with a dick and wasn't. So she takes that misdirected anger, because she doesn't really fit into mainstream society, and she turns it towards hate,

feminism, racism, and she attacks the, it's misdirected anger. I'll stay with this theory until I'm blue in the face. And I heard somebody say it on TV, I can't remember what I was watching, who the fuck, he's got a book out, and I'm like, God damn it. I can't remember what I was watching. Who the fuck? He's got a book out

and I'm like, God damn it, why aren't I writing a book? Well, could you say the C word to me? I know, that'll be the name of it. Dr. Harvey is the author of Raising, there she is.

I'm guessing she goes by they. They will scare the shit out of me in their underwear. Harvey is the author of Raising White Kids. First of all, how would you know? Unless you adopted a couple. Raising White Kids in a Racially Unjust America. See, she's got a beef with the whole establishment.

And again, not really. It has to do with... But listen to the... And I'm going to state this even before the clip. I don't think there was a Klansman alive in the 40s as racist and hateful as this bitch. Roll tape. There's a number of studies that suggest we shouldn't be worrying too much about making white kids feel bad. What? Pause.

Because they get so much. Imagine saying that? Can you imagine saying that if you're a white professor talking about black kids? We shouldn't worry about hurting their feelings. They can take it. They're tough. They grew up in the ghetto and shit. They have to dodge bullets every day.

And plus, they're living in a time where, you know, we kiss black people's ass around the clock. We're the oppressors. They're the victims. So, you know, enough of worrying about little black kids' feelings. Imagine saying that if you're a white professor or a straight male white professor, you'd be hung. Okay, let him continue. False messages about their goodness, that it's actually kind of critically important for them. Now, we don't want to induce shame, right? Which is why they need

those models. They need to hear, say, yeah, white people can do racial justice too, right? Here's some examples. So we don't want to introduce shame. And there's a tricky line. And we don't want to cause racial tension where then they have no way to enter the diversity conversation. Pause. You don't want to cause racial tension? You're a little late, sweetheart. Oh my God. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. You don't want to call racial, you don't want to cause racial tension, huh?

That started around 1970, your type of politics and education causing racial tension. Okay, Dave, go ahead. And so we need to talk about anti-racism with them. We need to give them those models. But we also actually... How about talking about fucking anti-racism with them. We need to give them those models. But we also actually... Pause.

How about talking about fucking English, science, and math with them? You fucking lapper. Jesus H. Christ. Ooh. That's my fantasy. It used to be to fuck Pam Anderson. Now it's to punch her right in her face. Go ahead.

Need to. It's good for them to feel a bit like white guilt is a really big problem. My goal as a parent is to get my kids into white guilt and beyond it as young as possible. You hear that? She wants to expose

kids to white guilt on purpose intentionally and then get them out of it. You are an evil twat. And that's all I have to say. You make me sick. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. Can you fucking imagine? She's got a PhD.

So send your kids to schools, folks. I'm glad I'm 59. This country is, unless Trump wins again. Even then, what happened? Let me ask you a question. I was thinking about that laying in bed as the sawzall was going. What happens if Trump won again in 2024? You saw how evil they treated him the first time around, right? And how the world turned upside down. What? I worry for his health. I really do. Fucking anyways, I hope he wins. Let's stay on the gay people, but let's stay on happy gay people because there's a lot of them too.

I know a lot of gay female and male comics who I like very much. So don't take it personal. I just hate, you know, most guys don't mind lesbians if they look like Playboy Cinephile. But when you look like fucking Harvey Weinstein. Well, his story out of the NHL. Homosexual Predator is the headline. What? Nashville Predator's prospect, Luke Prokopkop has come out as gay, becoming the first active player under contract. I don't think he's played in the league yet,

but he's under contract to an NHL team to do so. Good for this kid, right? I suck cock. As long as you can score. I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy. All right, don't rub it in, Luke. It has been, this is him talking about, young kid, it has been quite the journey to get

to this point in my life, but I could not be happier with my decision to come out, Pro Cop 19 said in an Instagram post. I really don't even know why you have to come out anymore. You know what I mean? Why? Why do you even bring it up? Just play hockey. Unless... I'll get to that in a second. From a young age, I have dreamed of being Dorothy Hamill. No. Dreamed of being Dick Buttons. No.

I have dreamed of being an NHL player, and I believe that living my authentic life will allow me to bring my whole self to the rink and improve my chances of fulfilling my dreams, he added. Please give me coffee. Oh, stop it. Leave the kid alone. High-level female hockey players, such as Olympic gold medalist Megan Dugan,

have previously come out as gay, according to the league, but not any real hockey players. No. But until ProC Cop's announcement Monday, no other play assigned to an NHL team active or retired had come out in the history of the professional league. Maybe because it's not going to fly very well. Pro Cop's team and league officials,

actually I would say the NHL, and yeah, I'm going to say this because it's predominantly white, will be more open to it. What does that, you know what it fucking means. Even black guys and brown guys say, yeah, we don't dig that shit. Anyway, something about league officials congratulated him on social media, saying the defenseman was setting an example for others.

Oh, come on. It's the shower. The National Predators organization is proud of Luke for the courage he's displaying in coming out today, and we will support him unequivocally in the days, weeks, and years to come as he continues to develop as a prospect, the team tweeted. I'm glad it's not an issue. It shouldn't be an issue.

I'm saying we're past that, so I don't know if it's really necessary to announce it. But here's what I'd like to hear when you do a story like this. Maybe could I hear from the teammates who are going to be showering with him? Seriously. That's the big issue, right? I mean, a lot of pro athletes are alpha males, almost all of them, and certainly the fucking NFL.

But I would just like to hear from teammates. They're all going to back them because if they didn't, what happens? You get canceled. But I would just like to, you know, hear one guy that's not crazy about it going, listen, if I catch him looking at my ass, I'm going to high stick him. Anyways, you know who else is very happy about it? NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman thanked Prokop for Kamara and said,

look at this picture. It's like he's watching Prokop in the shower. Look at that ass. And he said he hoped more professional hockey players and staff members would feel comfortable enough to do the same in the future. What do you want, an all-gay league? Don't fucking go crazy.

Wait till the guy comes out there and he's got the white skates, figure skates. I'm just saying. We all know, back in the day, we always thought of gay guys as effeminate and shit. That's got nothing to do with it. It's a fucking, you know what I mean? You can't make it to the NHL and be even a little bit soft

as far as physicality and whatnot. How do you know, Nick? Well, I played two years of the Blues, and I was kicked out for snapping my towel at some guy's deck. Anyways, let's get right to our next story. No, no, no, no! Goodness. In our FLA segment tonight, a Florida perv who was caught on a security camera taking a picture up a woman's dress.

God, I hate when that happens. I usually stand by the escalator. They don't see you. You look. Anyways, took a picture. Upper woman's dress at TJ Maxx department store, cops said. What kind of behavior is that? You're a crumb creep.

We, I remember covering this story. This was in Pembroke Pines, Florida. Police released the footage on twitter on monday we covered this a long time ago and now it's coming to court i guess in the hope that the uh unless this is another one culprit will be recognized and identified uh you snotty little bastard let's take a look at uh a kid who's got a lot of balls on him. This is TJ Maxx. First of all, well, I guess you could be a guy in the shop if you're a girlfriend or Mother's Day or something,

but you look a little weird. What do I know? Maybe they have good men's pants. I don't know, but let's check out this horny kid. Pervert. A woman did this to me at Publix the supermarket I was squeezing the peaches and I had gym shorts on look at this fucking perv

what do you want to see a 60 year old snatch wow you better run there he is of course course, thanks to COVID, he's going to get away. What a piece of garbage. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Let's see if they mention the race of the suspect. Suspect is described as a thin white male. Oh, no problem mentioning the race there.

But when a black dude shoots somebody, they'll just say he had red sneakers on and a purple hat. Described as a thin white male with dark colored hair. How do you know? He could be Latin, Italian. I'm Italian, that's me. He's approximately five, Sarah, wearing a gray army cap. I love how they give you the,

like he's been wearing this since the incident fucking happened months ago. White polo shirt and light gray pants with a bulge. Good night, everybody. The man is also wearing a mask because he bought into the COVID horseshit and it protects him from doing crime. Hope he's vaccinated.

Oh boy. How many men on a hockey team? About half. I should have played that in the last clip. The last story. That would have been beautiful. What should you call the group of dancers in a ballet? Silly savages.

dancers and a ballet. Silly savages. Listen to Buddy Hackett stealing his thunder. Finally tonight I meet the press. Driving while black. Shocking surveillance video captured the moment an armed man got out of a car and opened fire.

Oh, they didn't say it's an armed black man. Oh, that's right. You can't. Only when white guys are doing things. An armed black man got out of a car, opened fire on a pickup truck in a quiet Louisiana neighborhood during a wild road rage incident. I'm guessing the guy he was shooting at was white because he's in a pickup truck. I mean, the odds are pretty good. I mean, I know that's painted with a broad bush, but come on. Let's be serious about this. This is just... Is this the answer to everything

in the black community? Pull a gun if somebody disrespects you? Or... Let's take a look. Let's go to the videotape. Nice, quiet street. La, la, la, la. Well, this guy cut cut me off i think i'll take his life fucking shoot now watch a guy watch the pickup truck what's he doing look at that's the best part of the clip can we see that again watch this what are you going down the lawns for

this what are you going down the lawns for these blacks who knows where they're going to take the wrong way look look at this why would you stay on people's lawns i would be very upset fucking ran over my exhalius oh god can you imagine it starts as a traffic having words and you're willing to take somebody's life for it who's an animal your mother's an animal

you son of a bitch police said several shots hit the truck but no injuries were reported in the incident on Wednesday. The two vehicles have been involved in a road rage incident. Only one of them looked really enraged. Near Highway 11, police said.

Cops later arrested the guy in the truck for running over a dozen roses and two little girls. Cops later tracked down Kendall Matthews. There he goes, another rocket scientist from the hood. Kendall Matthews, 21, charged him with attempted second-degree murder in the incident, and I've given up on life, man. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black. We will not tolerate this kind of careless and inexcusable behavior in Slidell, City Police Chief Randy Fandle said in a statement.

We immediately deployed a vast number of officers to search for the suspect, the chief said. Within a couple of hours, we located the suspect's vehicle and made an arrest, is what they done did. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. Let this serve as another message that we will be relentless on solving and preventing violent crime in our community, Fandel said. And I think he means it. Louisiana don't play. You know what I'm saying? What is this? Is that the first answer to everything?

Pull out a fucking gun? It should be the second. First you should talk it out like a couple of gentlemen. All right, that is enough for today, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com, my website.

Again, you can watch the show there and comicsgym.com. You can get a monthly subscription or contribute daily, which we appreciate. And cameo.com is a very popular thing. You know how I know Cameo's popular? Somebody just bought the company last year for $350 million or some shit like that. Cameo.com, if you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives,

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Bye-bye. guitar solo Outro Music