The Nick DiPaolo Show - Weathering the War on White Males #119

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

Marquette U washing out whites. Freaky fems fulminate frats in suit. Trump taps executive power for wall funds.

As far as Stephen Colbert is concerned, that's right, Stephen. That's the way it is. So, you know, as I said in the movie Get Me Roger Stone, which unfortunately Robert Mueller watched and thought it was entitled Get Roger Stone, I revel in the hatred of these leftist retards. They're not talented. They're not funny. Trevor Noah, not funny. Nick DiPaolo, now that's funny. Wednesday.

Wednesday. We'll do it live We'll do it live Fuck it Do it live I'll write it and we'll do it live Fucking thing sucks I'm as mad as hell And I'm not gonna take this anymore

You know you want crazy motherfucking walk, man. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. Yeah, how are you folks? Welcome to the Big Show on a Wednesday. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425, the phone number. Here's some live dates.

I want you to come see me Friday, February 22nd, the Central Stage in Yonkers, New York. Saturday, February 23rd, I'm shooting a one-hour special, Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, New York. Saturday, March 2nd, the Brook Art Center, Bound Brook, New Jersey. Friday, March 8th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York. Friday, March 29th, Decatur Civic Center, Decatur, Illinois.

Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, May 3rd and 4th, Sidesplitters, Tampa. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, Governor's Levitown. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan Agunkwit, Maine. Saturday, June 1, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass. Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, August 16th and 17th, Helium in Philadelphia. Saturday, October 19th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut.

Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater in Cortland, New York. And then New Year's Eve, back at the beautiful Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. Go to nickdip.com. Some of those dates are so new, we don't have links yet. And in case you guys don't know, we've released all the archives from July 9th when the show started up till January 13th you can watch them all right here on YouTube and please do and after you watch them tell other people about it and don't forget cameo.com I got something great for you if you want a personal video message for me for yourself or to send to someone else by email or text, go to Cameo.com or download the Cameo app. Sign up is free, but I ain't.

For more, for just a mere 60 bucks, I'll tell you, I'll tell your boss to go fuck himself if he's an asshole. Or your mother, tell her to wash her ass. Your ex-girlfriend, she's a titless, filthy little whore. or your mother, tell her to wash her ass. Your ex-girlfriend, she's a titless, filthy little whore. I can even wish a Grammy, a happy birthday, you know, a young girl a bar mitzvah, a happy 16th, whatever you guys want.

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Contributions. James Herr. Thank you so much, James. I appreciate it. Mason Firm, $100. I read the ones that are three figures. I think that's fair. Go to nickdip.com to contribute to this movement, which it is, which it is. What's going on in the world today? Well, I'll tell you what's going on in the world.

Build that wall. Build that wall. world, right? Build that wall. Same thing that's been going on forever. Build that wall. Build that wall. It looks like Trump's decided on a middle path that will allow him to keep the government open while getting more of his border wall built than Congress had initially authorized. According to WAPO,

Trump will use an executive order to reallocate federal funds to finance the wall, or at least something more than the 55 miles that the compromise bill would finance. 55 fucking miles. A White House spokesman quoted by Fox reportedly insisted that Trump has alternative options for his border wall deal after telling reporters that he was not happy with the compromised border security bill, which reportedly included some funding for a barrier. Oh, God. See how they hung up on words, the left? It's a fucking wall, okay? It should be a wall of

flamethrowers. Let's be honest. President Trump will reportedly set aside his, I still like my idea. If it's going to be metal slats, heat it up. Heat it up until it's white hot. What a great idea. But then you're going to smell Mexican food if somebody touches it, which I love, by the way. Ever have authentic Mexican? When I lived in L.A., it's absolutely great. Trump will set aside his dissatisfaction and vote for the bill anyway, according to that very reliable source, CNN. To avert another shutdown, Congress must pass and the president must sign the deal by Friday.

So he has to learn to write by Friday. This could be a problem. Compromise includes $1.4 billion for 55 miles of barrier, which falls well short of the $5.7 billion bill Trump originally demanded. It's also below the $1.6 billion proposal included in a Senate package last year. Though reports have suggested that Trump is still seriously considering going the national emergency route. I hope he doesn't, because like I said, if the Dems win the White House, I don't think they're going to have to watch

the last week of news with the Green New Deal. They're making such fucking assholes in the anti-Semitic Ms. Omar. They're just making it easy for them. So don't... What? No, I won't. No, i won't no i won't god damn it all right i i see we you got to set the levels where i can be on it or off it all right so uh anyways i'm loud what can i tell you but don don't do the national emergency thing, because if they win the White House,

they will do that immediately. They'll go, oh, the climate change is a national emergency. You heard Ocasio-Cortez, the 11-year-old girl from Briarcliff Manor. She says that we're all going to be dead in 12 years, and I hope she's first. What? Why'd you have to say that? So Trump, he's not happy about it.

They're not giving him what he fucking asked for. Despite his dissatisfaction with the deal, Trump on Tuesday touted the fact that the deal included $23 billion in border security funding. He says in a tweet, we just presented the concept and parameters of the border security deal by hardworking Senator Richard Shelby, looking over all aspects, knowing that this will be hooked up with lots of money from other sources. I got to believe he knew that. He couldn't have just figured that out this week. I got to believe he's been exposing them. That's what he said he did with the, I don't know if you believe him or not not with the first Shutdown which made him look like a bit of an ass He said we had to do that to expose what their plan was

It's like when you're watching football and a team comes out and lines up Or actually basketball they do it to it the team comes up and lines up and the other team calls a timeout They just wanted to see how they were gonna line up That's what Trump's saying. I don't know. I don't know if he's honest with that. He says we'll be getting almost $23 billion for border security regardless of wall money. It is being built as we speak. Somebody made a great point about, you know, they're going to give them $1.37 billion in this deal. And what I've been hearing from the people on the right. So Pelosi, who said walls are immoral, is contributing $1.37 billion to something that's immoral.

Try arguing with that logic, you titless wonders. Please. What a fucking joke. Again, this isn't Trump's opinion. This has come from people that work at the border day to day. And they say that walls work. It's not just Trump's opinion. And again, you guys all know the fucking arguments.

If 80 to 90 percent of the drugs pouring over here, we have the worst opioid epidemic ever in this country. Most of it's coming from the, why? Right there, wouldn't you? Why? Because you don't give a fuck, Democrats. You only give a fuck about the brown people pouring in because that's your future base.

I can't say it again. I'm going to punch myself in the nuts. Jesus Christ. And Ted Cruz had a great idea. He's going to take, you know, they busted El Chapo finally. And they're going to send him to, you know where they should send him? To wherever Hillary had her fucking own, her own server, that little bathroom. I think it was in Colorado.

Wasn't that in Colorado too? I think it was. But they're sending El Chapo to the maximum security for life. And he was responsible for big fucking, obviously a big chunk of the drugs coming over. And Teddy Cruz says the $14 billion that they're going to confiscate from him, I'm sure it's already spent on whores, nice shoes, and convertibles. But what's left should go towards the wall. And then I see people on TV going, well, but wouldn't, isn't that like blood money?

No, you couldn't pay a better tribute to somebody who's died of drugs than by taking fucking El Chapo's money and building a wall to stop it. So that question is retarded. I should be running. You people are right. I really should be running. 833-599-6425. Build that wall.

Make it white hot. Put fucking soldiers on it. Flame throws at the top. And have that ring doorbell app in case somebody, you know, there's going to be a wall, there's going to be a door somewhere. So you get that little app on your phone, Trump can look at it and go, holy shit, there's 11,000 Guatemalans on my front steps. Do you know what I'm saying, folks? It's all really simple. Danny in Vegas actually wants to bring up the Ted Cruz idea. Danny, what's your opinion on

that money going towards the wall, El Chapo's dough? I mean, it's a great idea. It's taking money that, you know, like you said, it is blood money, and turning it into something good. And I mean, with that $14 billion or however much there is, they can

do a hell of a lot more than the 55 miles that I guess they're proposing. Exactly. Why don't we all send a buck? Everybody who voted for Trump, send $2. For Christ's sake. We'll build a wall not only on the southern border, on the Canadian border, on the goddamn East Coast.

Let's build a wall around Atlantic City. There's more crime and drugs there than anywhere. I got chlamydia playing craps down there. Why are we only talking about a 55-mile border wall? It's like 2,000 miles. Well, it's not 2,000 miles. A lot of it's naturally, there's natural barriers. The 55 is like totally open, as I understood it from what I was reading.

So that needs to be built. But he's going to grab money from other places, like he said. And, you know, eventually they're going to have to do a piecemeal because jerk offs like Nancy Pelosi just don't fucking understand. Meanwhile, she has a wall, you know, around her house that looks like a fucking Fenway Park. So fuck her and everything she believes in. Danny, great call.

Always good to hear from Vegas. It really is exhausting. We all know the goddamn argument. Did you really think he was going to be outdone in a business deal? Now people are going, but the Mexicans, he said they were going to, that's what they're down to. But the Mexicans are going to pay. They're going to pay for it eventually.

They send money back to their country. You don't think he's going to jump on that in good time? Or fuck them over in some other deal? And if he doesn't, he's going to tell you he did. I have the Mexicans. I sold a used car today. Made $1,500. I sold it to a Mexican.

We'll put that towards the wall. Got a ways to go. Yes, that was a Nissan, the official car of the angry minorities. I say that in New York. Actually, I said it in San Diego and it got a huge laugh too. Nissan is the official car of the angry minority. Everybody, every time I'm on the highway in New york somebody blows by me doing the speed of light it's a black or brown person i have no problem with that they fucking chase each other on the highways their

cars sound like vibrators and uh you know it's the official car of the angry minority. That's who they should market it to. Nick, that's horrible. That's racist. Hey, kiss my white European ball bag. Come on, Ryan. You may be cringing, but you'd love to. Let's be honest. What kind of vibrators are you using?

I don't use them, stupid. My wife does. I just plug them in, then I leave the house. Plug them in. Like it's an iron she's got one that takes 31 diesel batteries it looks like the Freedom Tower and give us your poor your horny it's a blackened decker. It's very nice. Oh, by the way, Valentine's Day is tomorrow. And if you buy your girlfriends or wife shit, you're a fucking faggot.

Here's a box of chocolates. Hope you get a good one. I fucking laced the other six with the ricin. What do I get for Valentine's Day? Last year, I got a pink turtleneck. I mean, what am I going to do with that? I wore it out once and people threw rocks at me. What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? So build that wall, build that wall, build that gut. I don't care where the money comes from. I don't give a shit. That would be great. El Chapo's cash. Earmark that. And with each slat, put his name on it and shit.

I just got the idea of the slats. I'm so slow on the uptake that you can't really climb it because your feet would go through the slats. Isn't that terrific? But why make the slats, they're like 10 inches apart. Make them fucking two feet apart. Unless you want a bunch of club feet. People with club feet can get in.

Well, if it's two feet apart, they can just slip through them between the slats. Not to. You're right. I was a little. Okay, 13 inches. You're right. I can fit through 13 okay. 13 inches. Yeah, you're right. I can fit through 13 inches. Yeah.

Right in your ass. Our father who art in heaven. Hello. I love fucking Ryan. He just smiles it off. That kid's got a, he can take a punch. So the GoPro's not working, huh? So we're going to show some fights at the end?

Yeah. Okay. Terrific. Anyways, what's the other big stories in the news uh you guys hang on i'll get to you in a second there kamala harris being interviewed yeah she smokes pot good for her she must have been a piece of ass in her day but i'd like to punch her right in her fucking adam's apple nice forearm shiver i'd like to fucking draw a pint of cider out of her throat what a hateful left wingwing, oh, she hates Whitey.

The West Coast is just fucking filled with angry black and brown people. So is the middle of the country, and so is the East Coast. Nick, stupid statement. All right. The veteran criminal defense attorney who headed Donald Trump's legal team during a crucial stretch of the special counsel investigation. Remember that? Believes the entire affair will end in silence from Robert Mueller. He's not even going to say anything. And called the massive two-year probe into Russian interference

in the 2016 campaign a terrible waste of time. Well, what are you going to tell me next? That Rosie O'Donnell likes snatch? I mean, let's be honest here. It's official. It's official. There was no collusion. Some senator who sits on the committee came out, burr from North Carolina. It's official. Zero evidence. Mueller's not going to say anything. If you have any balls, come on out and say, look, they interfered as far as playing with the Internet. But Trump had nothing to do with it. I made a big asshole of myself because I'm a crooked cop. Why don't you say that? Fucking ex-Marine.

Disgraciado. Anyways, Trump's attorney also said, this is John Dowd. I don't think there'll be a report. That's what he told ABC News, so it must be true. In a wide-ranging interview for the premiere episode of The Investigation, a new podcast focused on the probe led by Mueller. He says, I'll be shocked if anything regarding the president is made public other than we're done. Well, be prepared to be shocked. He says, again, this is Dowd who was in the middle of it.

He's not the attorney anymore, the later. He says, I know exactly what Mueller has. That's what Dowd said. He says, I know exactly what he has. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. He says, I know exactly what every witness said, what every document said. I know exactly what he asked, and I know what the conclusion or the result is, he said, describing the sweeping efforts by Trump's legal team to assess the case by speaking

to dozens of witnesses. Based on that knowledge, Dowd said, there's no basis. There's no exposure. It's been a terrible waste of motherless fucking time, Nick DiPaolo added. He called it one of the greatest frauds this country has ever seen and echoes Trump's claim that it's a hoax or a witch hunt. You are correct, sir. A fraud. I'll say this again, and this is my own thoughts. It dwarfs Watergate. Do you understand Hillary and the Democrat Party? Do you understand what they did?

Do you understand they colluded with people in Russia and Christopher Steele, a British spy, to create a fucking dossier. Remember Trump watched girls pissing on each other? All fucking phony. They used that to get a FISA warrant to spy on Trump's campaign as he was running for president. That makes Watergate look like a fart in the tub. You have to be fucking kidding me.

Somebody better be held accountable. Starting with Obama, that creep. It was under his administration. Nobody's talking about that. Unbelievable. It's a fraud. That's an understatement. It's a fucking outrage.

It's a guy, an apology accepted to all the haters I used to call into my satellite radio show on Sirius and Dean Abadala, my buddy who's a comic slash lefty, had his own show at Sirius, probably still does because he's a lefty. Every day he was drooling at what Mueller's got next and I'd say, you're making an asshole of yourself. And so did half the country.

So, like he says, it's a fucking witch hunt. But of course, that differs sharply from the Justice Department officials who have a window into the probe, which to date has, listen to this. This is what they're bragging about. Has pride guilty pleas out of five former Trump advisors, falsely, and indicated 26 Russian nationals, three Russian companies, a California man, another Trump advisor, and a London-based lawyer. Yeah, you might as well get them for

jaywalking. Again, Mueller had a mandate. What was that mandate? To prove that Trump's administration colluded with Russia, or Trump did, to win the presidency. Zero fucking evidence. Y'all, half the country owes Trump an apology, and you should wake up if you vote in Democrat and fucking, but you won't because you're mentally ill. In an appearance on Capitol Hill, a series of senior administration officials have disputed Trump's repeated dismissals of the probe. Listen to this jack off. I do not believe Special Counsel Mueller is on a witch hunt. Oh, Christopher Wray said that, FBI director.

So he's full of shit. He came in after Comey, right? He told Congress that in June, a sentiment shared by who? Rod Rosenstein. And more recently, by the man appointed to take over the justice department william bar they have to say that by the way muller is accountable to nobody even acting attorney general matthew whitaker defended muller's work in an appearance before the he has to otherwise he'd come in he'd come in and fucking... Because the Department of Justice is so loaded with former Obama cronies, if they said anything against him, it would stir up a shitstorm, in my fucking opinion.

They're all dumb as a bag of cheese. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Yeah. Dowd, who was Trump's lawyer at the time, is a former Marine and a veteran of high-prof profile Washington investigations and legal disputes. He helped clear the late, great John McCain, cleared his name during a 1989 corruption scandal known as the Keating Five. I remember that one because I did the you know, I remember that one. I did the HBO Young Comedian special and we stayed at the nicest hotel in Arizona.

I think it was in Tempe or one of those. And the people that owned it had something to do with the Keating Five. And I just remember they had it was the fucking nicest pool I've ever seen. It's the nicest hotel I've ever seen to this day. Anyways, that's I digress. Anyways, involving the savings and loan industry. He led the Major League Baseball investigation that resulted in a lifetime ban for Pete Rose. Okay, so he's not perfect. Trump brought Dow into lead his legal defense one month after the president fired Comey, and Mueller was subsequently appointed to serve as special counsel overseeing the Russian probe.

Dow told ABC News the president cooperated with the investigation, even producing communications with the White House counsel that Mueller requested. Dow said, and this is a quote, there's no time in history has anybody had this kind of look at communications with the president, Dow said. Dow described those indictments as what I call nickel and dime process crimes. He said, I ran a strike force. I ran big corruption cases. I didn't go around picking scabs and just making any case I could make. If there was a petty case, I shifted it to someone else. I didn't do it.

And that's where I disagree with Mr. Mueller, he says. Dow said he did not believe Trump would intentionally lie to the Mueller team, but that he would lose track of key details in the swirl of a massive amount of material he had to digest as president. It's amazing. Nobody talks about the pressure that Trump's been under since he came down that goddamn escalator and to still get the results he's getting, which, again, people on the left won't acknowledge. Dow says he believed it should have ended last year. And he was surprised that Mueller and Deputy Attorney General Rod Roach

instead allowed it to mushroom. He said, if I was supervising Mueller, I would tell him to knock it off, get it done. Your job is to find out if there's collusion or there was obstruction, he said. And the answer is no, so let's get on with it. Here's the part that'll piss you off. Dowd said that at one point after Comey appeared before Congress, he wrote to Rosenstein to ask for the Justice Department to investigate whether the

former FBI director lied in his testimony. He blew me off, Dowd said. That's not leadership. That's not accountability. We did it in writing. We did it politely. We did it confidentially. And he just blew us off. So I lost all respect for Rod Rosenstein. More evidence. That's dialed right there. Holy shit, he looks like a fucking pit bull in a suit. So my question and your take should be,

so what's going to happen to Hillary and fucking Obama and Comey and Rosenstein and Adam Schiff, who's not even not even enough of a man to acknowledge he's been sniffing up the wrong tree for two years. They all knew it was bullshit from the beginning. You know how they know they don't even acknowledge this announcement. There's no collusion. They just go on like life is never fucking. How is Hillary not in fucking jail?

Uh, even fucking call me. Ugh. I just, uh, you know, and they talk about Trump being a liar and maybe he does exaggerate numbers and shit. I want you to compare that to what they tried to do to him. And all the people that are involved, that fat twat Hillary, who should be rotting in jail. It's unbelievable.

I don't know if the right has shitty lawyers. You don't know how to prosecute. I don't get it. You should be knocking on McCabe and Lisa Strzok's door, taking them out in cuffs the FBI should just the way they went to Roger Stone's house and fucking Hillary I am not going to sleep

till that fucking fat power hungry pig is in a nice orange not pantsuit jumpsuit with shackles around her Clydesdale feet and around her fucking neck and her huge Giancarlo Stanton hands. She is a stone cold crook.

And Obama, you should be ashamed of yourself. There'll probably never be another black president, thanks to you, but you really weren't black anyways. Again, if the guy that played John Amos, who played the father in Good Times, ran, I would have voted for him. The certain black guys I love,

I would have voted for that fucking guy. Obama you're whiter than i am and what an embarrassment that you did this to trump although he's running for president fucking gross but he can he you know he went to harvard and edited the fucking uh the harvard newsletter or whatever the fuck so he's above reproach dirty dirtyirty, dirty whores. Every single one of them. Jeremy in California wants to talk about Kamala. Jeremy, what's going on? Hey, Nick Dibb. How you doing, you beautiful beast?

Thank you, brother. How you doing? Oh, excellent, man. Yeah, I know that you probably don't watch this show, and I can't imagine why, but are you familiar with a morning show called The Breakfast Club? I've heard of it. I don't watch it. You are correct in that assumption, and his name is charlemagne thaw god and he was interviewing kamala harris recently about her candidacy yes and he actually asked her why she had a white husband and she answered the question without hesitation and I'm sitting there going, can you imagine if a white host asked a white presidential candidate why she had a black husband? The left would lose their

fucking mind. But for some reason, it's perfectly OK for it to to just be fine the other way around. Let me ask you, what was her answer? Oh, she just said, you know, he was the one I fell in love with and was just very genuine. But she should have been like, what kind of a question is that? Yeah. You are a racist. Yeah. Well, no.

That's not how she thinks. You're right. In a perfect world, that would have been a response. But no, she fucking hates whitey and she hates men as much as anybody. That's why she's doing so well but if i was that white politician son somebody asked me and said well you know why do you have a black wife or whatever and i'd say well somebody's gonna wash my car and that would send them around you're the best i also just i just wanted to uh thank you also

because i saw you at the ventura harbor Comedy Club a couple of weeks ago and you fucking murdered. I was that blonde, long-haired guy that, you know, I talked to you and took a picture with you after the show and you were super nice. You told me I look like Brad Pitt and I should be an actor. Yes! And I was like, man, this fucking guy is way too nice. No, dude, this kid, this is like a good-looking kid. What are you, 22 maybe, 24? How old are you?

I'm actually 32. Holy shit. 32? His face should be on the flag of California. He has like this, you know, this flowing blonde hair split down the middle, nice beard. He looked like a fucking kind of a, if Brad Pitt was on Preggnazone and was slightly swollen

him and his brother and they were fucking great they they had two male they had two metal buckets on their tables with like i'm not shitting you 16 empty heineken bottles that they were still drinking hey uh jeremy right man and i apologize because yeah no that's all right so brain wouldn't allow me to think of the stuff i wanted to say to you. Yeah, no, that's all right. But I just appreciate you coming out to Goo Gobbler Central, probably against your will. No, I love that club, actually. And I love the Randy, the owner. Hey, Jeremy, good talking to you, buddy. Yeah, he was sitting up front with his brother.

I've never seen people drink like that. Holy shit. Anyways. Let's go to Neil in Grand Rapids, Michigan, before I move on, wants to talk about Maxine Waters. And, uh, what about that very bright person of color? What would you like to say about her, Neil? How is it possible that she sits on the house financial services committee and then Maxine Waters chairs that committee now, and neither of the two of them have a drop of experience in financial services whatsoever.

They ought to be taking turns sniffing my yam bag rather than sitting on my... Your phone's cutting out, Neil. Sorry. I could only hear yam bag, and Maxine Waters chairs the... I know. No, it's actually a great... Why? Because you live in America in 2019.

Such a racist country with that pig Maxine Waters not even bright enough to be a school... I don't want to say that. That's an offense to school teachers. Not even bright enough to... Somebody help me without offending anybody. Gym teacher. A gym teacher. Exactly.

Thank you, Ron. But she does have a 48-inch vertical leap because, but yeah, no, you're exactly right. Who else sits on it? I mean, she chairs it. Ocasio-Cortez. Ocasio-Cortez. There you go. Well, you got to be happy about that.

It's really, it's really like, you know, you got to read that book, The Bilderberg Group, The Real Truth About the Bilderberg, and how, you know, like the 50 most powerful people meet in a hotel room every year in Switzerland and decide what's going to go on for the next 20 years in the world. I'm not making that up. That far out, they plan it. And I watch this and I go go this almost looks like a play it almost looks like no we have to have give trump is eight years so you know

it's just ocasio-cortez it's embarrassing i mean you're almost handing trump 2020 that fucking green new deal she wants trains she wants to build trains across oceans meanwhile california they just gavin newsom the governor said we can't do a train from san francisco to la because it's going to cost 77 billion but this little douche the darling of the left says the world's going to end in 12 years because of climate change can you imagine trump sitting home with a very medium hard on right now laughing his balls off you remember the big mushroom cap his original point years because of climate change. Can you imagine Trump sitting home with a very medium heart on right now, laughing his balls off? You remember the big mushroom cap? His original point was they don't have any financial experience. How are they on this committee?

Yes. Well, it doesn't matter even if they did. I mean, they're fucking severely retarded. Ocasio-Cortez is just a product. That's what's coming out of our college campuses. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-NICK. Let's move on. Sam Spina, a Patreon member. If you guys want the two other shows and you don't belong, go to nickdip.com, sign up for Patreon, and you can get two more shows and join one of the tier. Anyways, Sam Spina sent me a message. He says, hey, Nick, my friend who is a fan of yours but not a patron yet asked me to relay a message to you, and it says, Nick, my name's Andrew, a student at Marquette University in Milwaukee from North Attleboro, Mass., not far from where I grew up. My friend

introduced me to your podcast a while back. I've been hooked on your content since. I think they have a vape pen for that. Marquette has gone over the top in their leftist campus indoctrination in recent months. He says, we recently had the chief beta male president of the university call the student body a racist group and has been pushing a program called Unlearning Racism. Good luck with that. Does it apply to everybody or just white people? Stuff is ramping up even more with the shortest month of the year, Black History Month. He says, I think some of these events would be great to talk about on your show. And he mentioned something called Afrofuturism.

He says, whatever the hell that is. So I looked it up and we have a video of this guy, Tim Fielder, a black guy from Harlem who explains what Afrofuturism is. Here you go. My name is Tim Fielder. I am a cartoonist and illustrator based in Harlem, New York City.

I am an Afrofuturist. Afrofuturism, what it is, it is a mode of operation in which you take any kind of action, whether that be storytelling, art making, Architecture. Architecture. And you infuse it with Afrocentricity. Yeah. But you're doing it in a way where you're hearkening back to things in the past. You're living in the present, but you're also pointing towards the future. Yeah, but see, the Dems would hate that. The Dems couldn't do that, even though they call themselves progressives because they live in the past.

As far as race, the issue of race, they think it's 1955 in this country. As far as women's rights, they act like they just got the right to vote fucking three days ago. It's so ironic they call themselves progressives because they're stuck in the fucking past when they're trying to make their big points as far as race and gender, which is all they have. He goes on to say, he says, whatever the hell that is, in the ebony ball with the theme, harvesting our magic and brilliance. It's a black ball, a dance on campus just for black people. And on the invitation, it says,

harvesting our magic and brilliance like this. Ah, look at that brilliance. There you go. And I could show 19 other videos, people beating people up at Arby's and McDonald's, but there's your brilliance, I guess. He says it's baffling. They are not even trying to hide

their visceral hate for whites on camp. They don't have to. Do you know why, Andrew? The fucking whites that run your school hate white people more than black people do. None of this could come about without the help of white liberals. They are the fucking cancer. He says, I can only ask myself, what would happen if someone sponsored an all-white ball?

Do you think we'd be allowed to have an Anglo-futurism, a German-futurism, Italian-futurism talk at the university? Don't be silly, Andrew. Is the magic and brilliance, he says, of the black population of Milwaukee that they have some of the highest black-on-black crime of any other U.S. city? You don't even bring up Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit. Why does the white population bend the knee to these haters of the West? When will the alumni of American universities stop the stream of money that encourages this hate? When they wake up and people are banging, I'll tell you what. And all these, like you said, these alumni that donate money to this horseshit, they live in snow white neighborhoods.

You know that. He says, I'm beyond disgusted and cannot wait to get the degree and run this fall. Below is the link about the supposed oppressed minorities on an inclusive campus, unless you have a low melanin count. Best, Andrew Sharples. Andrew, thank you so much. And I can't imagine being a college-age kid and experiencing this shit. This anti-white male sentiment

is really taking traction. Again, I blame that fat fuck Oprah who started it, was on TV for 30 years spewing this shit. All this political, she did more for the PC cause than any one figure. Don't forget about it.

And Phil Donahue, another self-hating whitey. But here's the invitation to the Ebony Ball. I think we have pictures, right? Ebony Ball, Black Student Council. It's good we're living in a colorblind society, which is what these students are striving for. Meanwhile, it's all we do is divide by color and gender. And there's the beautiful

invitation. I didn't get mine yet. I would love to go there and dance my ass off. I do a moonwalk. I was, well, I learned it from Governor Northam. I had, I was dressed like an Indian. He was dressed like Michael Jackson. Look at Black History Month. Look at the schedule for the events of Black History Month. Can we, there you go. We got Black Movie Night. Yeah, good luck hearing a uh look at black history month look at the schedule for the events of black history month can we there you go we got black movie night yeah good luck hearing a word of those movies soup with substance black and islam loaded with hypertension and salt uh super substance video of former president obama provides a civic lesson. Yeah, that you can keep your doctor and keep your plan. Know your rights.

Training. ACLU, which is a left-wing hate group. I don't give a fuck what you call them. They are now a left-wing hate group. 14th Amendment. A discussion about citizenship. Film screening, Milwaukee. On the 26th, we have Black Self-Care Night.

That's where they all get together and they rub some type of cream on their ashy elbows. Black Woman Rock Dinner. It's just for black women to eat dinner and if a white person tries to sit down at the table they get hit with a rock. Africa Comes to America. That's on February 11th. That's way late, that story.

What is that? Just a replay of the Super Bowls? Black Love Through a Black Lens. That's Spike Lee, the first movie he made. He left the cap on his camera. the first movie he made, he left the cap on his camera. Tribal Constitutions and Indian Law. Wow, that reaches, what, three people in the country? On the 22nd, film screening, Milwaukee 5-3, whatever the fuck that is. Justice in Action Conference on the 23rd. On the 27th, Afrofuturism from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

And then on the 3rd of March, the Ebony Ball itself is from 6 to 11. It says, please, firearms will be checked at the door and bring your own cough syrup if you want a drink. Look at that. can you imagine, now, some more pics, here's the jerk off, I don't know, he's the dean of the college, look at the, here's what's wrong with our race relations in this country, spineless little white geeks like this asshole, nice haircut. He's imitating Chuck Todd. He looks like a healthy Tom Brokaw. Oh, I like ball people, and I'm going to every ball, and I'll be dancing all night. Look it, stand against racism. Oh, you're taking a stand. Because privilege means using your position to speak up and bring about change.

That's not what they mean when they say privilege. It means you were handed everything, dick cheese. I want to know why you hate yourself so much. That's what I want to know. Why do you hate yourself and your race so much? I'm not even all white. You know, I'm a little bit Italian, which means there's some type of rapage in Sicily. What else do we have?

Is that it? Yeah, that's it. There's also the online post for the unlearning racism. Oh, here you go. Unlearning racism tools for Action Spring 2019. Again, this is all addressed towards white students. You get that, don't you? You do understand that it's a monolithic thing,

according to the left racer. I mean, you can't be racist if you're part of the oppressed. And I'm sure Obama, he's so oppressed. And Bill Cosby was oppressed. And Tiger Woods is so oppressed. And everybody I work with at Chris Rock, who was richer than me, they were oppressed. And what a crock of shit. Look at all the dates for this.

Racism, it's been going on for 400 years, but we're going to unpack it in a couple of, the impact of racism, the roots of racism, manifestations of racism, understanding white. How about understanding blackness? How about understanding a race that has their own language, Ebonics and shit, you know, that shoot each other

at an unbelievable rate, that have a illegitimate birth rate of almost 78%. Shouldn't we be trying to understand that? Maybe fix the fucking world? Your role in addressing racism. I'm doing it right now. I have a podcast that people love.

Taking action against racism. Oh, I don't know. Maybe stop with the blackface in Virginia. Why don't we start there? But look at that. Anyways, it goes on and on. And again, this is addressed to white students. So you can't go to the dance, but it's probably mandatory, compulsory that you have to go to this unlearning racism. This is what's going on on college, not just this campus at Marquette, all over the country. These things have to be busted up.

Never mind breaking up fucking big tech companies. Break up the goddamn colleges. You come out broke as shit anyway. Good, that's an irrelevant point, but yeah. No, you're right. Oh, that's all I'm saying. Oh, I thought it was him. he's picking on him i thought it was yeah you come out broke you feel like shit about yourself and then you're gonna pay tax once you

get out if if you get a job those taxes go to fucking you know people sucking off the teeth that don't look like you nick but there's more white people on welfare. I love that. Yes, I know, because we're 66% of the country. Do you know how to do percentages? You're fucking cheesy. Let's see what we got here. Have you heard about the Andrew Tang? The Al Jassi smell thing, the fake hick. Not really on point here, but...

Let's go to William in Charlotte. Says he wants to know, you know, talk about Hillary and a potential prosecution of the thick-ankled dog face. William, welcome to the show. Nick, how you doing? Pretty good. Good. Can I be your plus one to the ebony ball?

Is that possible? Yes, absolutely. I have two ebony balls. Beautiful. Actually, they're brown, which is ironic, but yes. Well, whatever. Yeah, we'll go together. We'll go as a transgender.

I'll play the broad that night. You play Hillary, the man. Go ahead. Ah, perfect. Hey, listen, I've got a little insight as to why potentially Hillary has not been prosecuted a little bit. I don't know if you remember, but there's a little hubbub back there in 2016 about Hillary and Loretta Winch was on her way flying out on the big jet. Old hubby went and met her on the tarmac, and they were, as I recall, talking about their grandchildren. Yes. And I have an insight that potentially the conversation went, Loretta, if you want to see your grandchildren,

you're not going to do anything about it. So that might be part of the reason why there's no real persecution going on about Ms. Clinton. I think there's a little fear factor going okay so fucking arrest bill for a betting and why why does he get a free pass that fucking rapist the second president to be uh the second president that was a uh what am i what's the phrase i'm looking for president that was a uh what am i what's the phrase i'm looking for um andrew johnson was the first one and then bill clinton was impeached thank you granted he wasn't kicked out of office

but he was impeached but yeah you know but he gets a pass because he had uh what they call bedroom eyes he appealed to the middle class women in the midwest that just could uh you know they could he got their votes. That bill, I'm going to, I'm going to sign off, but I want you to, I want you to come to Charlotte. I want you to come to Charlotte one day and do your standup. I think you'd kill here. Bill, that's one of the top cities on my list. We're making out a new list and, and, and, uh, I bet my people have been pushing me and I'll be there. I can promise that. Thanks for the call, buddy. Yeah.

The other reason, Bill, you know, they had that the Clinton Foundation with all that leverage and all that money. And Hillary is the biggest fucking. This is I still I got to pinch myself. They're going after fucking Trump and this fat fuck. She's a stone cold criminal. So is her husband. At least he had the brains to move to the middle. His first term, he was, you know, far left and he got smoked in the midterms

and he ran to the middle. He worked with Newt Gingrich who gave him all the good ideas that he takes credit for. Let's go to David in LA. He says, I'm 33. My parents were in their 70s. Democrats, this election, they voted for Trump. They are civil servants.

They voted for Trump because CNN pulled their support for Hillary 10 days before the election. That's the wrong reason to vote for him, but interesting. Hi, Dave, how are you? Good, how are you, Nick are you nick pretty good thank you yeah well i just wanted to uh i thought i was going to have a few seconds to be able to uh find the exact date that cnn pulled their um their but you know look it they didn't know who else to

vote for in that situation like sure you have uh, you have libertarians, yada, yada. But the point is that when you've got two major sides, when CNN was like the driving factor of the Democratic Party in most of America's view, then when you see a source like that drop their stance for Hillary so many days out from the election it's like my parents they they've been you know they've been following politics for 40 years and um they had never seen anything like it was unprecedented to them and i don't know if it's happened in the past i'm sure well let me but yeah but let me ask you a question uh how did cnn drop their their stance for Hillary?

Number one and number two, they're not supposed to take a stance in the first place. So your parents are a little misled. How did how did they drop their poll for Hillary? I don't understand. Well, OK, this is one of the things I wanted to verify real quick is there is there was a headline going back to 2016 that I will find and it was on television wasn't I wasn't on the internet or anything like that it was on television and it was it was that that literally if the top the headline read CNN no longer supports Hillary Clinton's campaign or in some fashion of that and and I you know what I want what I want, I don't want to be misrepresenting anything. So I'm going to do the research right now and I'll get back to your guys on a link or something specific that I can verify this.

All right. But I remember it being a talking point. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for the call, Dave. Uh,

but, but, but it's a dumb talking, talking point. Your parents are wrong. That's the reason they, point. Your parents are wrong. That's the reason they get pissed because the network was totally biased against a candidate and for another candidate dropped their supposed support of Hillary. And that's what pissed them off. Well, if that's the case, they could have fucking

jumped, turned the channel to NBC or MSNBC or whatever. NBC has more, they all have more clout than CNN, but you're not supposed to support a candidate. The news, the purpose of the fucking press is to keep these people straight. That's the whole purpose of it.

So tell your parents, I'm glad they woke up finally. They're civil servants and they voted for Trump. So that's actually saying something. I wonder if they got their last paychecks here we go let's move on shall we and then i'll take a few more oh butting your fucking panties on this one. Oh, God, help us, please help us. You're raping me.

This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. Three Yale students who claim they were groped at fraternity parties have filed a class action lawsuit against the university, arguing the school has fostered an environment where alcohol-fueled gatherings, that's what college is,

these girls are all chubby, at off-campus fraternity houses dictate the undergraduate social scene. What the fuck? Then as of this moment, they're on double secret probation. Hey, come back. While the New Haven-Kinetic University of this moment, they're on double secret probation. Hey, come back.

While the New Haven Connecticut University presents itself as a campus where fraternities are not a major presence, the lawsuit states that few options besides fraternity parties exist for women who want to socialize and meet other students. This is how spoiled these whores are. So now it's the college's

job to provide you a place to go have fun. That's part of the description now for the college campuses. We can't go to fraternity. Somebody might grab our ass and tits. And by the way, looking at the pictures of three is you'd be lucky to get lucky in a Turkishkish prison but that's the real beef it always is um but so you're pissed you think yale should provide other

i don't know go to chucky cheese that's more your speed go shoot fucking pool go bowling oh my god the lawsuit filed on tuesday in a federal court in connecticut comes as universities across the country have been trying to crack down on bad behavior by fraternities let me put that in uh let me translate that for you crack down on male behavior and um and fun women behavior who don't mind this shit there's been going on for from binge drinking and sexual harassment it's like we're living in the Pilgrim's Times. This is, you puritanical fucking.

From binge drinking and sexual harassment to abusive hazing rituals that have led to several deaths. Oh yeah, it's like Vietnam. Some kid drinks three quarts of fucking vodka and dies and we should. Aware that their image has been tarnished, fraternities have often been partners with universities

and trying to change party culture. This year, we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. Yeah. Yale has often looked the other way, the plaintiffs claim, while parties rage and women from Yale and surrounding colleges are routinely sexually harassed. Let me ask you three chicks. Are you being forced into these parties at gunpoint? That's my first question. Then don't go. Go to a, there's plenty of places in New Haven

you can get knifed and mugged. Go dancing off campus. Go to fucking Budruckers. Go to fucking TGIF Fridays and load up on jalapeno poppers. Seriously. This is out. We're done. We're rotting from the inside out. Joan Gilbride, a lawyer for the fraternities named in the lawsuit,

said the accusations are baseless and unfounded and that the fraternities and their national organizations would vigorously defend themselves against the Klan. My fraternity, Sigmund, though, we announced we have a party.

There will be a line outside our house. It was like getting Super Bowl tickets. We had the best house for parties. We cleared out the giant living room to make a great dance floor. We had a kid who was an engineer who hooked up a stereo system. Every fridge had a tap on the door. You couldn't get a ticket. We announced it in 10 minutes.

We would sit on the couch as fellas and watch the broads coming in to get tickets for a party that wouldn't be for like another 10, 12 days. And we would judge them by their looks. How horrible. Actually, we wouldn't. We'd be nice to them. We had cookies and donuts and all kinds of shit. be nice to him. We had cookies and donuts and all kinds of shit. A Yale spokesman, Tom Conroy, said he could not comment on the specifics of the lawsuit, but he shared a message to Yale students last month from the dean of Yale College, Marvin Chun. It said in part,

I condemn the culture described in these accounts. It runs counter to our community's values of making everyone feel welcome, respected, and safe. What is this new thing? Everybody has to feel safe where they go. The world is a dangerous place. Put on a cup and a helmet and shut your fucking hole. That's so fucking left wing that they think the world's going to be safe

and childproof for you. I also, he says, offer some plain advice about events like these. Don't go to them. Thank you, Mr. Chun. Thank you. And I'm sure he's not like a right wing sexist. It's the goddamn runs Yale. He's even saying, bitches, please.

It goes on and on. The dean said Yale plays no former role in the organization. It's not affiliated with the university, including Greek organizations. And he said the university was working on providing alternative social spaces and events on campus. See, so he's bending.

The lawsuit acknowledges that there may be questions about Yale's ability to regulate off-campus organizations. Peter McDonough, general counsel of the American Council on Education. He said the very concept of a campus is where people learn not only from each other, but through shared experiences, he said. And this isn't the K through 12 environment. Exactly. You broads don't have a prayer.

The plaintiffs, I know the people love that. It's like being on a flight to fucking Orlando. The plaintiffs, the sophomore and two juniors have demanded in the lawsuit that Yale and its fraternities rein in their parties.

What joy. And again, the girl in the middle, I'd throw her one, but the other two, I mean, Jesus Christ. The poor girl on the right, she's fucking, she looks like, and again, the girl in the middle, I'd throw her one. But the other two, I mean, Jesus Christ. The poor girl on the right.

She's fucking, she looks like, you know who? Who was the great linebacker from Hawaii? I don't know. I was thinking the dude from the blind side. Yeah, she looks like the dude, yeah, Michael Orr. Girl in the middle is average. And the girl on the left's got a rack on her, but she's got a face like Shemp Howard.

And I think that's their real beef. Again, it's not with the college, it's with God. They've demanded, yeah, but they're reigning the parties. They also have asked for a court order that would force the fraternities to admit women. Now we're getting to the crux of it. Just like you can't have all Boy Scouts, now you can't have,

and allow them to share in the benefits of membership, like housing. You just want to be, you just want to be near us. You hate us so much, yet you want to be near us. You know?

We're a threat to you. We grope you. We're a threat to your safety. You feel unsafe wherever we are, but you want to be near us. Yeah, they want to share in membership benefits of fraternities like housing and powerful alumni networks that can lead to jobs, internships, and social capital. Simply put, fraternities elevate men to social gatekeepers and relegate women and non-binary students

to sexual objects, the lawsuit said. Yeah, exactly. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Don't go. This is so silly. I swear to God, I wish Judge Judy was handling this. She'd go, listen to me.

Up here, eyes up here. Don't go to the fraternity parties. I used to party. I know the play. There's plenty of things to do in New Haven. You don't have to go. You would be lucky if you get groped. Again, I'm being misogynist, but what the fuck?

I can't help it. They're being ignorant. And that's how I combat it. The three women who filed the suit are Anna McNeil. Anna McNeil. She's a Brooklyn majoring in art history. That explains her.

And then you got Ileana Singer. Ileana Singer. Ileana Singer. She's a sophomore from Minneapolis majoring in political science. And then you got Rye Walker. Rye Walker. A junior from Brooklyn majoring in astrophysics.

Majoring in astrophysics majoring in afro astrophysics in african-american studies they don't go together they just don't I've looked at the NASA roster over the last 50 I'm sorry I'm just kidding there's plenty of black astronauts I just you know they're all over the place I see them in movies and on commercials. The law firm representing them, Sanford Heisler Sharp, is also representing women who are suing Dartmouth College for sexual assault and discrimination by three professors who said they turned a human behavior research department into a 21st century animal house.

I want to go there. All three women in Yale case said they were groped at fraternity parties during their first semesters. Well, you should be happy. In the lawsuit, Ms. Walker, who's an African-American, said she was passed over by fraternity brothers controlling admission to the party while white women behind her were admitted. You are a fucking liar you are a cunt cunt cunt cunt i'm just teasing so not only were you groped and shit you they they discriminated against because you're raised boy you must have it so tough yet you're at yale yet you're at yale you

have more privilege than most white people do sororities are not a substitute for fraternities, the plaintiff said, because they have been around for much less time and men just do shit better than us. What? And do not have the depth of contacts fraternities have. The lawsuit filed as a class action complaint accuses Yale of violating, oh, Title IX. That's's something obama you know he didn't put it in place that was way back with nixon originally but uh he changed that around so guys who are accused of uh groping and shit like this don't have a prayer in front of a kangaroo court you've we talked about on the show so they violated the title nine fed federal educational which prohibits sex discrimination by institutions receiving federal funding. And Breach, it's a fraternity.

You're not fucking trying to get a job at IBM. You're going to a fucking party. Girls, I'm trying to be fair. Look at the rack on the blueberry muffin. Uncross your arms. That's the look you get when you're on stage. And breach of contract, not for providing educational environment,

it promised. What are the parties spilling into your science class on a Wednesday afternoon? What are you talking about? I'm embarrassed for you and the fact that a lawyer would take your case. What kind of fleabag is he or she? I have to speed ahead in this article. It's making me angry. The fraternities take on the liability associated with student alcohol consumption and in exchange, Yale allows the fraternities to use Yale resources and recruit Yale students and largely turns a blind eye to the sexual harassment and assault occurring in connection with the fraternities.

That's what the complaint says. So, you know, I don't know. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. They've been around forever. They've been around forever they've been around but all of a sudden fraternities in the last five or ten years were a problem i'm not saying some untoward shit doesn't go on but you guys remember the story in rolling stone the fake gang rape huh and you remember the duke lacrosse thing there's obviously an agenda an anti-white male agenda nothing represent anti-white european males more than the greek fraternity system and uh yes sir any chats yes we do sir okay

stewart says if you're coming to a gunk with maine don't drop your wallet oh god if i could find him right now i'd shoot a poison dart in his leg. I've been to Aganquit, Maine. Yes, it's a gay town, and it was the best show. The Nick is Right tour, it was my favorite venue, and it was great. I ate lobster. It was blown by two guys while I was eating the lobster. I have never had a better time in my life. I want to visit.

For the lobster or the blowjobs? Blowjobs. What else? Any other? That's it. Oh, my God. Folks, I need the cash. It's a nice tie, nice shirt, Nick.

I know. Thank you. So, girls, I'm just, again, you're making it. This is what, this type of behavior, these lawsuits, you know what it does? Do you know what it does? It increases misogynistic attitudes. behavior these lawsuits you know what it does do you know what it does it increases misogynistic attitudes it does you don't want guys to have i mean same with the the lgbt you're starting to make people turn on you who would otherwise support you

it's not even about like the transgender all that some people say it's mental illness i i don't know i'm not a fucking doctor or whatever but but but becoming so sensitive and and attacking people who say that on tv on tucker carlson he had a lesbian on last night who spoke out um there was a transgender a guy who became a woman but kept his dick apparently. And he raped a bunch of women. And this lesbian had the balls to say that he's a male rapist. And the transgender community ostracized her.

So that's mental illness. Not the fucking, that's mental illness. The way you handle your grievances. And it's going to a love, that's mentally ill. The way you handle your grievances. And it's going to a love. That's mentally ill. That was a great point I made. Too bad I wasn't on national TV. CBD oil.

I got to go easy on that too. I took too, I told you. Made me feel all weird the next day. I can't handle that shit. Just tobacco in my lungs. That's all I can handle. I know that's not good either. Anyhow, the Greek system's been around forever.

I never had more fun at Sigma Nu in my life. Ever. And yes, I was witness to some horrible behavior. A buddy of mine's room was downstairs next to the bathroom that we designated as the girls' bathroom when we had parties. I go into my buddy's, I go into his room the night before the party. He's in his closet with a drill. I go, what are you doing?

He goes, look in there. I look, you can see the toilet and the bathroom. So we were watching girls pee. But here's a disturbing thing. The first three girls that came in, there was one girl sitting on the toilet. Three more came in and pissed in the tub. There was a tub in the bathroom.

They pee-peed in the tub. And you know what? They found out later, the guys, and they were laughing their ass off. Am I condoning that behavior absolutely i like to see more of it especially at churches and at uh i'm just saying and and yes but i i nobody you know i'm not pro-grope pro-rape pro-date shit but you're an adult at that point you're on your own you have to go you know if that's what goes on there i'm not going in there you know you don't need a lawyer to go after

the let's go to jake in new york he recently uh enrolled at a school and he said he quit jake uh what was the school and why did you quit jake what's going on what's happening it was a nassau community college and uh i enrolled back in and i go to class and it's an american history class yeah and the first three things the first three things on this fucking guy's mouth is sexism slavery and the Native Americans So that's what that but there's a fucking Marxist cocksucker that's what they're teaching over there And all these and all the fucking idiot kids are gonna they're gonna fucking take it That's why why not mention the founding fathers and the great thing of the Constitution, you know?

Oh, they were rapists and they had slaves. We can't mention them. Yeah, and then he says, we got to get rid of Columbus and make it Native American Day. Yeah, well, that's Nassau Community College. They're a football powerhouse, so that's the good thing. They beat Miami in the Orange Bowl. All right, Jake. Sorry to hear that, but don't be surprised.

I mean, anyhow, finally tonight on Meet the Press. I want to get this a little light story, but a little heavy today. But 833-859- Why am I giving out the number? I'm almost done here. The Transportation Security Administration, that's also the TSA, unveiled Monday its weirdest and most dangerous checkpoint fines of 2018. And it turns out that two local airports were among the locations

where agents made the most unusual fines. Of course. Of course they did. One of the strangest finds had little to do with the object found, but rather where it was found. According to the TSA, a traveler passing through a security checkpoint at LaGuardia on July 6, 2018 was traveling with a child and a baby carrier. When the carrier went through the checkpoint x-ray scanner, TSA officers discovered a sharp kitchen carving knife artfully concealed in the baby's ass. No, in the lining of the baby carrier. Great parenting.

Oh, my God. We're just a species no different than rats and ants. Honest to God. But, you know, if I heard a baby crying and somebody told me because he was're just a species, no different than rats and ants. Honest to God. This, but, but you know, if I heard a baby crying and somebody told me, cause he was sitting on a knife, I'd feel better. Every time the baby's screaming behind me and I looked, it's nothing going on. So if I saw like a nice, uh, kitchen knife, you know, sticking onto the kid's buttocks i'd go oh take that out of there give him a rattle um he said this incident came in as the sixth where does find meanwhile coming at number four is an incident that occurred at newark liberty international airport when tsa officers detected two hand grenades and a carrot. Do we have pictures of this? Did I give you any pictures?

No. We have a video. A video of what? The top 10 unusual checkpoints. Oh, go ahead. Why am I even reading this shit? Go ahead. I'm tired. Oh, they're going to Florida State game.

Oh, they found that Elizabeth Warren's back. What the fuck is that? It's a vibrator that I made in woodshop in 8th grade. Ah, the switchblade. You need that to open the peanuts. You ever try to get the... I'm telling you, folks. What the fuck is that?

Snakes? I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. All right. Now, hold on a second. What in Christ? Did somebody really bring that on? Is that a fake bomb? I know.

But what's hilarious about it is the fucking radio. If you turn that on, if the TSA turned that on, did FDR giving a fireside check we have nothing to fear but a clock radio with 12 pounds of TNT duct tape to it look at look they used a sharpie to make the clock that was by a fucking Isis guy who just didn't have the money to go to Radio Shack. Look at that radio. I still have that in my bedroom. Wayne Newton is on every station. Go ahead. At number four, grenades. They were lighters, actually. But look, they're dressed like penguins. You thought that was going to get by.

Look at this. Look at the scissors. Apparently, a Jewish guy with a giant cock was going to be circumcised on the way to Miami. And finally, tonight, what was that, a mortar? A fucking mortar. Excuse me, sir, take your belt off. Put your phone in the bin, in the mortar. Put that in the bin, too, please, you dumb fuck.

I can't bring. And number one, ladies and gentlemen. Holy shit. Freddy Krueger. I could use those. I have a rash on my ass that I can't reach. Imagine you bringing that on the. Trying to ring your call button with those fingers.

Go ahead, Ryan. You can use that to ring your call button with those fingers. Go ahead, Ryan. You can use that to scratch your shingles. Exactly. Every time I fly, I get off, I have some type of fucking rash and shit. And these are the things they found at LaGuardia. Imagine what they're finding in Tel Aviv. And I guarantee you... Yeah, I'm not going to say it. Too racist.

Freddy Krueger hand. I mean, where are you going? I can't even think of anything funny. I'm so fucking tired. That's about it, kids. Slip in some super chats. Oh, absolutely. Super chats.

I just got a few more after you mentioned it. I want you to write down the amounts, too. Did Andy tell you that. Oh, absolutely. Super chats. I just got a few more after you mentioned it. I want you to write down the amounts too. Did Andy tell you that? Oh, no. Don't say them, but write them down for me after. Got you.

Okay? Put that in your Bible that you don't look at. Go ahead. I looked at it today. Did you? I prayed. Go ahead.

Jay DeRee says, thanks for standing up, Nick. I'm not standing up. I'm sitting down. I have a nice pillow under my ass. You're welcome, sir. I'm not standing up. I'm sitting down. I have a nice pillow under my ass. You're welcome, sir. Thank you for tuning in

and realizing there's only very few places that we can stand up and say this stuff. Spread the word. Word of mouth is still the way to do it. And I'll stand up to show you.

All righty. James Delnort says, Nick came for the lobsters and left with the crabs. Not bad, James. I came for the lobster. I left with the crabs. I think JFK said that, didn't he, when he was visiting Kenny Bunkport here? Came for the lobster, left with the crabs. I think JFK said that, didn't he, when he was visiting Kenny Bunkport?

Came for the lobster, left with the crabs and a touch of the clap and some chlamydia. And my dick is dripping like a busted pipe. I'll have the lobster. Anything else? Last one is Mark McGowan who says, Nick, you don't have to dress up for us. Why does it bother you, Mark? Are you one of these hillbillies that goes out to a comedy club

with fucking shorts on and flip-flops and a cut-off tee? You're right, though, I don't. But I kind of enjoy it. You know why? The juxtaposition of what comes out of my mouth with a well-dressed man kind of makes it silly. But I won't stop putting on dresses and

shit. I want to include everybody. I want to get more of a, uh, I'm a little weak on the transgender, uh, community. I got to draw them in. So I might have something strapless, a nice something, a nice peach tomorrow. So, uh, I like dressing up for you guys. I think you deserve it, but, uh, maybe we'll have casual Fridays when I'm not here. Casual Thursdays. I don't know. Anyways, you guys, thank you so much for tuning in. Couldn't do it without you. And again, go to nickdip.com for the dates.

Don't forget cameo.com. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. If you want me to say something to your girlfriend, your ex-girlfriends, your moms, they can be nice. It can be mean. I can say happy to your girlfriend, your ex-girlfriends, your moms, or they can be nice. It can be mean. I can say happy birthday to people, whatever you like. Just go to cameo.com. Click on my profile thing.

I'll make a little video, send it, text it to you, email it. It's really fun. I actually, I did one today. I did one today for a guy who wanted me to wish his girlfriend a happy Valentine's Day and say that he loves her. And I put on my robe, a fluffy white robe. Arsenio Hall gave it to me, actually. It's a true story.

And I actually took the time to draw a little heart and color it in pink, and I put it on the robe. And I said, I don't know what her name was. Mary, your boyfriend wants to say happy valentine's day and that he loves you and i said but what he doesn't realize is i love you too and you're probably thinking nick you don't even know who i am and i'm like well yes i do i saw you at the mall i follow you to the dentist i've seen you vacuuming through your living room window and uh i said so you. I'm sure he'll give

you the same Valentine's gift as he always does, a giant dried out corn muffin. I'm going to send you a pair of homemade nipple clamps I made out of sheet metal in high school. I've wrenched them twice, but they hurt a little bit. But anyways, choose wisely. That was my message. So that type of shit. Other guys call it, my my ex-girlfriends a clinton i really don't like to use that word but if you're gonna pay me i'll be more than glad to throw that out there all right that is it uh and don't forget uh i mentioned that we're where are the archives uh on youtube those are on youtube we're putting all the all the shows up since beginning july 9th to january 13 whatever, so you can watch the old shows and

catch up. They're all funny. It doesn't matter. Remember, you think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. Love you guys. We'll see some of you tomorrow. Bye-bye. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ Thanks for watching!