The Nick DiPaolo Show - Welcome Back Louis! | Nick Di Paolo Show #643

Episode Date: December 20, 2021

Manchin says no. Biden calls Harris "president". Alabama judge dethroned. Sandmann settles with NBC-Universal. Charlamagne goes on Harris offensive. NYPD rookie lap dance.

Hey guys, if you're not a paid subscriber to the show, please take a moment and subscribe now. Starting today, we are introducing the Nick DiPaolo Show phone line, where you can call up and leave a message for me to play and respond to on the show. This number is only available to subscribers. You'll also get access to the daily Encore episode, which nobody else gets, and hundreds of show archives. Plus, you'll get a discount on merch and free merch, depending on what level you subscribe at.

You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash thenickdapaloshow. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Either the Republican or Democrat political party will nominate a man for president and a woman for vice president and the woman and man will win. So you'll end up with a president, a male, and a vice president, and a female. And in that term of office of the president, the president will die.

And the woman will become president under the law. Hmm. Any volunteers? Oh yeah, it's that time again. How are you folks? Welcome to the show on a dirty Monday. It's that time again. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show on a dirty Monday. Remember, only today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. And then we're off for Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, and all those other things. Ramadan and Kwanzaa, the one I like the best.

Kwanzaa, and we celebrate shoplifting. And, ha? What? All right, let's get to it. Enough bullshit. and huh? what? alright let's get to it

enough bullshit in the N-word segment tonight Louis C.K. as you know has a new special out it's called Sorry and this weekend he bought some ad time on NBC

during an SNL show and people are upset especially the feminist whores and they're upset because Louis should be cancelled for life and people are saying this proves that there's no such thing as cancel culture well you know what you stupid stupid bastards he's paid his dues okay first of all this woman here Victoria Brownworth said she he sexually

assaulted many women nah he didn't assault anybody he asked if he could whip his dick out apparently they nodded yes and didn't leave. Either way, I don't condone the behavior, but you know what? He's paid his dues. So this whole thing about cancer culture not existing, ask Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, and I'm not condoning what they did, but bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Louie's the funniest guy. I've known him forever. He's a great dad, a great father. And please shut the fuck up, because, y'all, all your anger is based on envy, okay? Enjoy this special until I watch some of it. Hilarious.

First story tonight, Manchin the man. The White House issued a condemnation of Senator Joe Manchin on Sunday after the senator said he would not vote for the Build Back Better bill, again, a bill named after a sale at Home Depot on Labor Day. How do you build back better from something that was already perfect, almost, before he got in the buggy? Effectively killing its current form. So, you know what, ladies and gentlemen? We should all be happy.

Yeah, if his comments on Fox and a written statement indicate an end to that effort, they represent a sudden and inexplicable reversal in his position and a breach of the commitments to the president and the Senate's colleagues in the House and the Senate. Well, he's supposed to be working for the American people, not going along with his colleagues. He's not a fucking Nazi like you people are, who just worry about holding on to power. He actually, you hate him because he's actually trying to be bipartisan here. And he knows that bill that you're trying to pass is filled with all these welfare, social safety net programs that are going to be renewed year after year. And he was smart enough to pick up on it.

And it's going to put, it's just one more giant step to socialism. So you know what? Fuck you. Good for you, Joe. Switch parties, will you? Even though the Republicans suck too. So they fucking hate him.

White House press secretary, my old girlfriend, Jen Psaki, said in a statement released on Sunday, I don't know how to get rid of these goddamn freckles. After Manchin appeared on Fox News to announce his final position, you know this girl. Get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all.

Democrats are trying to pass the bill using budget reconciliation, which requires every Senate Democrat to support the measure in order to pass. Manchin said he was deeply concerned about the bill, which he described as a mammoth and warned about its effects on the United States economy through inflation and increased debt. Here he is talking on one of these shows that I haven't watched since you know who died, Tim Russert. I've always said this, Brett. If I can't go home and explain it to the people of West Virginia, I can't vote for it. And I cannot vote to continue with this piece of legislation. I just can't.

I've tried everything humanly possible. I can't get there. You're done. This is a no. This is a no. It's not a no, though, because they're going to get another crack at it in the spring. This is how cynical I am, folks. I swear on my mother's ass.

Nice ass, by the way. Dallas told me. Listen, I swear to God, it's all for show. Even this. Because whoever runs the planet right now wants this country to be socialist slash Marxist. We're well on our way. So they'll feign this little resistance and shit. And then they'll come up with some stupid agreement in the spring and it's going to get passed. That's how I feel. I hope to fuck him. You know, wrong

about it. But so whatever. But I love the fact that the Dems are irate at this guy for actually trying to think for himself. Oh, is this your snowbank? No. Leave that in. Leave it in. Leave it in. No, it's the Republican snowbank.

No, it was supposed to, it's a clip of like, I think it was from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It goes, independent. But apparently nobody edited it. Leave it in. Edit it. Leave it in. Anyway, Psaki said Manchin had committed to an earlier $1.75 trillion, trill with a T, dollar build back better framework after having breakfast with Biden at his home in October and also offered Biden a proposed outline just last Tuesday.

While that framework was missing key priorities, yeah, key priorities, you mean fairness, and we believed it could lead to a compromise acceptable to all. But you always believe that, Jen. And you people are so far off base in the Democrat, you don't know what the people, according to you, Ron DeSantis is a rogue governor. You don't know what the people, according to you, Ron DeSantis is a rogue governor. He's got the lowest fucking rate of COVID. His economy's booming. You guys don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Sorry. She tried to shrug off Manchin's concerns about inflation by showing him her boobies, suggesting that government handouts to American families would help ease the inflationary burden on the economy. Yeah, that's how to get inflation under control. More handouts to American families would help ease the inflationary burden on the car that yeah that's how to get inflation under control more handouts pump more money into the if someone is concerned about the impact that higher prices are having on families this bill gives them a break I'm illiterate when it comes to money I fucking even though I know that. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Yeah, that's the answer to inflation. Put more money out there while, by the way,

killing the incentive to get a job. Wow. The drama behind the scenes on Sunday escalated as reports indicated the senator had an aide inform the White House of his intention to kill the bill 30 minutes before his appearance on Fox News Sunday. Good for you. Hosted by Brett Baier. He's replacing Chris Wallace for now, that bitch. A Biden official told Politico that Manchin refused to take a call from the White House.

Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone. No, I'm not taking it. I'm going on Fox News, fucking killing this thing once and for all. Psaki also indicated that Manchin had broken his word with President Biden and said the president broke his word with the president who stole the last election. How dare he, said the White House, would continue pressuring to change his mind. What are you going to do? Put him in nipple clamps, you fuck stain?

Justice Senator Manchin reversed his position on Build Back Better this morning. We will continue to press him to see if we can make him throw up blood. If he will reverse his position yet again, like I did last night for my husband, I usually take to honor his prior commitments and to be true to his word, she said. Shut your freckled face. Still banger. I don't know why.

The White House reminded Manchin he is blocking cheaper. Here we go. They use this for everything. You're blocking cheaper insulin costs. You know, people who have federally subsidized daycare so kids are going to be home having cigarettes put out on their little feet.

And ending government payments to families via the child tax credit. You're killing babies. You're pushing old ladies off cliffs. They're eating dog food instead of getting health insurance. You fuckers don't have a new

pizza from yesterday. Dallas came over. Him and her wife banged out some pizzas. That's why I look like fucking one heavy guy. But I hope I get some type of COVID. The fight for the Build Back Better is too important to give up, Saki said. We will find a way to move forward next year. Will you really? When? In the spring? You think Manchin's going to come around?

You think Biden will be alive? Will you still be the spokesperson? Have you ever given anybody a handjob? All righty then. let's stay on Biden shall we babbling Joe is his name babbling Joe President Biden appeared at the South Carolina State University commencement ceremony Friday to speak I'm just doing what people do when they give speeches people who don't have southern accent but they get on

Friday to speak I'm just doing what people do when they give speeches, people who don't have Southern accents, but they get on. Friday to speak to students of historical black universities, where he committed several verbal gaves. At different points, the president accidentally, accidentally, in my opinion, referred to Vice President Harris as a stinky yeast infection on wheels as He referred to her as President Harris and reflected on the George Family Justice Act

Whoo he meant to say George Floyd if that's how important George Floyd is to him and this act is to him to say George Floyd. That's how important George Floyd is to him and this act is to him. Anyways, the George Family Justice Act, Policing Act, he said. Oh, God, this poor prick. Let's take a listen. Up there, the president of Delaware State used to work for me. Went and got his doctorate and said, this is not the good job. I'm going to be president of the university. But look at the energy. Of course, President Harris is a the good job. I'm going to be president of the university. But I'll keep it inside. Of course, President Harris is a proud Howard alum. She might have something to say about Delaware State. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck. You know that? How about the energy in his voice?

He is dying by the minute. You know, Delaware State, President Harris. And here's my theory on them. They keep making that mistake. They're preparing you to get used to hearing President Harris, even though she has disgraced herself her first year in the vice president's office. She is not. I think they're already shopping around, aren't they? Because they don't even like her. So you might want to change that to... You can't even come up with anybody. They have nobody on the bench.

They have the shittiest second string team you've ever seen. Who are you going to bring up? Bernie in his late hundreds? Who are you going to bring up? Oh, fuck Harris. I should have won this thing in the first place. Billionaires and billionaires. By the way, I just bought my fifth house up in Vermont.

President Harris. Democrats, I tell you, I can't believe. Anyways, on police reform, Biden said, I share the frustration, Biden said at one point, and I know the family well. He's talking about the George Floyd, the George Family Justice Act, Policing Act. I know the family well, Biden said, mangling the names of Democrats, George Floyd Justice in Policing Act. That's the name of it.

But hey, that's almost five words. Give the fucking re, when this guy had all his marblesbles he was as dumb as a fucking doorknob now he's got an adult diaper on and fucking playing bingo every Tuesday night and whacking it to some old lady with an oxygen tank laying next to him at another point the president spoke glowingly of historically black colleges and the number of quarterbacks they put out. He said they're clean, they're articulate, they shower, they're good kids. Glowingly, historically black colleges and universities touting of, why is that not, where's diversity when it comes to a black college?

I don't hear that being thrown around that campus. Isn't that funny? Grambling state, right? South Carolina state. I don't hear any diversity. You got to have all kinds of people. Not important, huh? Of course, President Harris is proud of Howard University. Don't be too proud. I had almost 100 yards against him in a scrimmage up at Maine. Okay? I'm a white running back, and it was an all-black team.

True story. Then Joe was asked, Joe, why are you so stupid? That's Joe trying to get off. He previously referred to her as President Harris in March. The president used part of his speech to push for wide-ranging election and campaign finance reform bills and the Louisiana Purchase that passed the Democrat-controlled House along party lines earlier this year. But Republicans vehemently opposed the bill, which is stalled in the Senate, split 50-50 between the two major parties. Mentioned the A4 whatever-the-fuck story I just did. The GOP criticizes the measure as a federal power grab and takeover, which is exactly what it is. If you guys just pick around on the news and just read some of the shit that, you know, it's a power grab and take

over of the state's longstanding ability to control the elections. You know, when I first started this show, I promised it would never turn into a show where we talk about actual bills and shit on the, I did, that was my first promise. But now that we're on the precipice of civil war, I think I can bring up a few times, right? But I'm thinking, you know, whatever. You might see me, let me just tell you this, this is my show. If tomorrow I want to come on here and do nothing but fucking jokes

about nothing, I might do it. I'm so tired of talking about this shit. I want to fucking murder somebody that... Biden told the audience that despite his early struggles in the presidential primaries, he was always confident he would succeed,

and this article's way too long, Tommy, in South Carolina because of its large African-American voter base, saying they'll vote for anybody, they believe anything. I got what we call in my old neighborhood in Claymont, Delaware, I got a, I got shellacked, he said.

I'm waiting to go to South Carolina, Biden told the audience of the graduating students on Friday. The article still continued. Fucking A. He continued because I'm from a state that has the eighth largest African American population. He makes it sound like he had anything to do with that. And that's the source of all my support in Delaware. He goes, for real.

That's how you know you're talking to a liar when he goes, honestly, not joking, for real. He said that like three times during this fucking speech. Is it because we're black? Exactly. That's why I'm here. What do you think, I'm here because I gave a speech. I like this place. God help me.

Hey, everyone, just a couple of quick notes. First, I'll be doing a brand new show tomorrow and Wednesday, but we'll be taking off on Thursday. I want to wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a Halloween is terrific, too. Second, I've added some new tour dates. I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina at a place I haven't been for literally 25 years probably. Charlie Goodnight's Comedy Club on January 27th through the 29th. On the 27th, we'll be doing a live version of the Nick DiPaolo show, which I didn't want to do, but Tommy jammed it down my throat. Come on out and be in the audience

as we do the show live. Then on the 28th and 29th, I'll be performing stand-ups. So I guess I'll be buying timeshare there. I've also added new tour dates in Texas. I'll be at Hyena's, thank God, in Dallas on March 25th, in Fort Worth on March 26th,

get a list of all my shows and tickets at nickdip.com. And lastly, if you aren't a monthly subscriber, join today through either the Comics Gym or on Patreon to get the encore presentation of the Nick DiPaolo Show. Today, I'll be talking about that asshole Maisie Hirono and how she doesn't like our form of government because of this 50-50 tie in the Senate because she's a fascist left-wing douchebag.

So I'll be ripping on her. And again, you can join at comicsgym.com or patreon.com. Thank you for your attention. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. What kind would you like? In our

Make Me a Sandwich segment tonight, Alabama judge who called her fellow jurist Uncle Tom in heifer and who allegedly put her finger on the scales in domestic cases, has been yanked from the bench.

I had to do that because some white progressives think they can say that to black people, too. Call them Uncle Toms. A nine-judge panel found that Nikita Blockton, Nikita, you've got such a nice smile. Why you be fucking with the scales of justice? That's a nice wig. John Lennon wants it back. I mean, Paul McCartney. I mean, she's got white people's teeth on her necklace.

Nikita Blockton of Jefferson County, Alabama. She's got a beautiful smile. Had a history of inappropriate comments and as regarded her staff, a pattern of abuse. She would abuse her staff, a certain pattern. The abuse included excessive, unproductive, and unnecessary nights and weekends. She forced her underlings to work

according to, she loves the power, according to the panel of December 10th, judgment. And they would have to work long hours. And to get through it, they would sing songs. Cheese it. Here come the judge. And when her actions came under investigation by the State Judicial Inquiry Commission, the disgraced magistrate attempted a cover-up, as they always do, ordering employees to allow her to see their private cell phones so that information that might be relevant to the commissioner's investigation

could be deleted, according to the judge. Nice judge. Who's this? That's her. Oh, that's her again? Yep. Goddamn, look at the smile, though, huh? Love to have teeth like that.

What the fuck? I love to have teeth like that. The fuck? Blockton, who was a circuit judge in the Birmingham Court's Domestic Relations Division, also used fake, listen to this, fake Facebook accounts to communicate with litigants in a pending domestic relations case in an effort to affect the outcome of the case.

I'm guessing she was on the women's side. According to the judgment. you believe that shit? If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? She's blinding me with those teeth. She blinded me with science. She threatened one party in a divorce case and provided advice to another through the fake accounts. According to the, you are naughty little girl. False prophet. This is what she wrote on Facebook

to one of the litigants in a divorce thing. False prophet, how much is your white judge paying you? She wrote, now how long was that up on Facebook? And we're just getting to canning her now? That's my question. You fucking, you have no idea how to defend her. How much is your white judge paying you, she wrote, on the disfavored party? Oh my god, how dare this lady. She says the devil

is watching you. That's what she said, meaning the white person, and that she went on to say this. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady by the way that she eat in front to say this. This is what folks says about this family I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady by the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I aim for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson

and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hog. It'll be funny 200 years from now. She used to fake accounts. By the way, I love the woman that played her. What was her name, McDaniel, Hattie McDaniel? Terrific. I dated her a couple years out of high school. She used fake accounts to friend divorce lawyers and even leak information on other judges.

Oh, my God. According to the complaint. Her attorney, Emery Anthony, told Above the Law, that's a publication, we were trying to keep her on the bench and we were disappointed they removed her from the bench. Garrett Morris is dead. Kevin Morris. So the guy's disappointed, even after all that, that they removed her?

You see why? You see why you're not good leaders? What do you mean that you know? Goodness, let me take a break. Oh, the country's so corrupt. In white news tonight, as you all know, right here, you know, we talk about Roger Rittenhouse and how he's going to clean up when he sues, well, he can start with Biden and the networks that labeled him a white supremacist, all that other horseshit. He should have a field day. Why do I say that?

Well, you remember the kid from Covington with the punchable face, the white kid who did nothing, him and his friends? He just settled out of court with NBCUniversal. Covington, ka-ching. Nicholas Sandman, that's a great name, isn't it? Set Friday, what's it say? It says set. Huh? It's cut off.

Sandman settled Friday with NBC Universal. The media had lambasted the Covington Catholic High School student from Kentucky, now 19, over a confrontation at the 2019 March. Right away, you know he's a prick because he was at the March for Life. He must be a bad guy in Washington, D.C. At this time, he said, I would like to release that NBC and I have reached a settlement, wrote Sandman on Twitter, adding the terms were confidential. But I'll just put it this way, he said, I've already had 11 whores and bought 400 drinks last night at Applebee's for everybody.

Yeah. Following the 2019 incident, Washington, D.C., many media outlets and Democrat politicians criticized Sandman for a confrontation with a Native American elder at the Lincoln Memorial following the march. This guy was as big a phony as you mean. He's about as Indian as fucking you-know-who. Well, he has some Indian. I shouldn't go as far as saying, what's-her-name, ugly Elizabeth Warren. But this guy was a fucking con. He said he went to NAMI.

He never went to it. Nathan Phillips, we looked him up. went to NAMI, never went to Nathan Phillips. We looked them up. Anyways, that's all it took for CNN, NBC, MSNBC to see a white kid, obviously Catholic, right, with an old native. They could have been making out, and he would have still got blamed for something. Turns out, right then, when you see him staring at him, those white kids right before that were being verbally abused by black Israelites, which, if you don't know them, go to Times Square. I used to walk by them just to hear them. They were literally up on a box.

There was someone in Savannah just on Saturday. I know. I had coffee with them. Of course you did. Anyways, yeah, so he cleaned up with, we already know he made 275 mil with another network. So this is on top of that? Somebody call me a fucking racist. Sandman was recorded on video wearing one of former Trump's Make America Great Again

hat, campaign hat, while smiling at the activist, which is, again, if you're a white Catholic kid, that's a no-no, as Phillips beat a ceremonial drum like he used to his wife in the early 70s. I'm kidding. It never happened. And chanted at him in close proximity. That's a catchy tune, isn't it? Several media reports at the time claimed the incident was racially charged

on the part of the white teenager. Of course, of course. Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? That's him talking to the network. Anyways, yeah. So anyways, him and Sandman

were being yelled at by calling him racist for no reason. People have judged Sandman based... Wait a minute. Is he referring to himself in the third person here?

No, he's quoted in the middle of the sentence. Oh, people have judged Sandman then based off one expression, which I wasn't smirking, but people have assumed that's what I have, he said in 2019.

Of course, it just shows you. What's the moral of the story? If you fuckers don't believe that the media is, especially on racial issue, is just so hell-bent, the last 40 years, proving how racist this country is, what a

hellhole it is for minorities. And you know what? They have to make shit up like this, not to mention Smollett and 90 other things that happen here like that. Anyways, he said in a 2019 interview with Savannah Guthrie, Dallas dated in the late 90s. Nearby members of the black Hebrew Israelites groups were shouting slurs at him and his classmates, he added, and he looked back and said, I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon. Oh, nobody got that.

I heard them call us incest kids, bigots, racists, Sandman said. His filing against NBC Universal and MSNBC reportedly asked for 275 mil in damages, even if he came anywhere near that number. Look at him. He looks like an

adult now. You know who he looks like? James O'Keefe, Project Veritas. Right? Or Eli Manning without the Down syndrome. CNN and the Washington Post both settled defamation lawsuits. Ooh, he whacked CNN and the Post. They settled with him in 2020 for undisclosed amounts. The suit against CNN sought damages for emotional distress. Nicholas and his family suffered in the fallout of the network's reporting.

And this is what we need more of. Let's stop making some laws, huh? Law school professor William Jacobson told Fox News at the time that CNN agreeing to settle is a rare example of a little guy being able to stand up to a media behemoth and estimated the deal was worth at least seven figures. You know what I'm saying? Good for you. What you do, Sam, is you take that money from that one, and the next one you're going to settle, and you're going to be a zillionaire.

Start your own network. Do that. I was going to give it a really horrible name, but I don't want to get kicked off my own show. I got a good name for the show. I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon. I had some racist shit, and I don't like it. All right. In our libs eating libs segment tonight, Vice President Harris asserted that Joe Biden is president after she researched it for two weeks. Not

Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia. During a tense exchange with Chalamet, the God's Comedy Central show. It's an actual Comedy Central show? Haven't put that on since Trevor Noah took over. Charlemagne asked Harris to name the country's real president, which she replied, That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Let's take a look at Charlemagne. I like this guy. He busts balls. I want to know who's the real president of this country. Is it Joe Biden or Joe Manchin? I'm sorry. I interrupted. I don't think the vice president can hear you. It's the mom. I'm so sorry, Charlie. Pause. I love it. You're damn right she can hear. The minute they

do this with Biden, can you imagine the president and the vice president have to be protected at all times when they're talking, not from a teleprompter, off the cuff? There has to be a team there in case somebody gets close to the truth. They got to jump in and go, no, we got another appointment. Where are you going? The Food Network? Comedy Central? Yeah, we got to get to the History Channel.

And then RuPaul's doing a thing on... Go ahead. He's laughing. Good for you, Charlamagne. Can you hear me, Madam Vice President? They're acting like they can't hear me. I can hear you. So who's the real president of this country?

Is it Joe Manchin or Joe Biden, Madam Vice President? Come on, Charlamagne. Come on. It's Joe Biden. I can't tell sometimes. No, no, no, no. It's Joe Biden. And don't start talking like a Republican about asking whether or not he's president.

Do you think Joe Manchin is a problem? And it's Joe Biden. And I'm vice president. my name is Kamala Harris. Oh! Nice to meet you. And the reality is, because we are in office, we do the things like the child tax credit, which is going to reduce black child poverty by 50% on track to do that. You do anything for white kids, you dumb bitch. She is as empty as,

God, my God. Grew up in Canada, by the way. She has been, slept her way to the top. Got nothing. She's got nothing. Oh my, it's her worst nightmare

that she's VP. Been a phony her whole fucking life. Wow. Good pick, though. Good pick, God dams. Guy in his late hundreds with fucking dementia in this empty suit who couldn't fucking spell her name if he gave her the first 14 Jamaican letters. What?

What? spell her name, forgive the first 14 Jamaican letters. What? So I hear the frustration, but let's not deny the impact that we've had Harris said and Charlemagne said back. Fucking bitch.

The heated back and forth came after Harris' aid appeared to try to... Wasn't he the guy that was... Was he the guy that was... Was he the guy that Hillary said she had a hot sauce in her... I think it was the same show. Carried hot sauce in her bag. That was a good moment.

I'll tell you what she didn't use it for as a rape whistle. Harris' aide appeared to try to wrap up the remote interview before the vice president could answer Charlemagne's question during a taping of the sit-down earlier on Friday. The show's host, whose real name is Leonard, and this is how they spell Leonard, L-E-N-A-R-D. Oh, is it Leonard? I'm sorry. You're probably right. It's French. McKelvey then accused Harris and her team of pretending they couldn't hear the Manchin versus Biden question through their earpiece.

Hello? I can't hear the Manchin versus Biden question through their earpiece. Hello? Hello? I can't hear you. Hello? Hello? Good for you, Charlamagne. Don't take no shit off nobody. Stop it.

Don't talk like a Republican. Wow, what an embarrassment that poor lady is. Boy, I'll tell you, between Marsha Clark, Chris Darden, was that his name, the black – you were probably three, right, when the OJ thing went down? No, I was in junior high. Okay. Was it Chris Darden, the black – I said that after that judgment came down, you had Marsha Clark and Chris Darden, a woman and a black.

Boy, did affirmative action take it in the balls on that one. And she's keeping up her end of the proven poo-poo-poo-poo-poo. Finally tonight on Meet My Mother-in-Law, the bad lieutenant, I don't know why he's bad, I kind of like this guy, I like his moxie, I like his, kind of his jib. An NYPD rookie, it's a woman, was caught on video giving her lieutenant a raunchy lap dance, like there's any other kind. Am I right? Well, if your wife does.

Raunchy lap dance during the Bronx precinct's raucous holiday party, and furious higher-ups are now investigating. I guarantee they're female higher-ups, and they're probably of color. I don't know what she is. She looks white, but I'm guaranteed she's probably Puerto Rican. Hopefully. Look at him. Yeah, he's in real pain. Investigating the incident, sources say. So the higher-ups are pissed that this one, no guy higher up would be. up's a piss that this one, no guy higher up would be. Am I right? I mean, what's his name? Adams just became mayor, is going to be mayor. Do you know he hired five deputy mayors, all women, like yesterday in the history? What did I tell you about him? Yeah, he'll be strong in law and order because he's a cop, but the rest of it, you're going to get the same old garbage. Nice going, New York. Anyways, so this is her grinding on her superior, Lieutenant.

I want to be a cop. Come on. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. The newbie cop is seen in the wild footage wearing a checkered miniskirt. Now I know what the wife's getting for Christmas. Black cut-off tank top and knee-high boots, which is how I go to bed. And she grinds on top of the 44th

Precinct's lieutenant, Nick McCary, while he sits in a chair. Like, it's like when Pauly Walnut's finally, no, Richie April got out of the can after 10 years. And they had a party for him at the Bada Bing. And this girl's trying to blow him, and he couldn't get it up.

No, no, it's not you. Take this. And a chair in the middle of the bar, and other people look on. Well, it's a party. They're showing Lieutenant the proper respect. Is this really a story? God bless the New York Post. Enforcement sources and several other videos uh we got a quote from the girl doing the dance at the christmas party and

she said this well i think the lieutenant gave it to you that's a nice holiday story oh we got video all right I think the lieutenant gave it to you. That's a nice holiday story from the Nick DiPaolo show. Oh, we got video? Oh, yeah. All right. Is that Urban Meyer at a bar in Ohio? Look, he's got his hands right on his thighs. God damn.

I'm finding this offensive. This is very misogynistic. What is wrong here? What am I missing? Isn't that happening at every cop party since the beginning of time? The identity of the female officer could not be immediately confirmed. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book?

Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Oh my goodness. They call her Sergeant Hips. The steamy incident occurred at Rory Dolan's bar. Of course, it's always Rory Dolan's. It used to have it at Mickey Dolan's. They closed that place down. That's a drama for the monkeys of Ben, way before your time. You know Mickey Dolan's they closed that place down that's a drama for the monkeys

a band way before your time I know monkeys huh I know the monkeys you know Mickey Dolan's because the name is for the monkeys well there you go you don't know the monkeys

I know the monkeys no you know the fucking band the monkey you don't know any no that's like going I know the Rolling Stones who's the lead singer I don't know

Rory Dolan's Thursday during the station house's holiday bash. I want to get invited to one of those. I'm married, but I like to watch. McGarry has now been, they busted him down to an Eagle Scout. And she's been promoted. McGarry has now been reassigned while the NYPD brass looks at how they can promote him for that kind of party. Reassign him.

Are you kidding me? Anyways, that is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Good to be back. I hope you had a great weekend. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. You can buy merchandise that's on sale because of the holidays. Check out my tour dates.

We just put a few up there, new ones, that I didn't even know about. But you know what I mean. I need the cash, the kitchen, and sucking the pizza oven alone. Mink you. I've had my wife walk in the streets down here. We haven't even covered the goddamn pizza oven. Don't forget what else. Cameo.com.

If you want me to roast one of your friends or relic wow do I look happy funny when you eat a pizza by yourself the next day wow Dallas was over with his girlfriend and we all had pizza

from the pizza oven homemade from how was it Dallas the fucking list it was good right it was really good man I got the recipe from Domino's

don't shit on them. Anyways, go to Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. I will roast them. I'll make a thing on my phone, send it right to them. You guys think it? I will say it. I almost forgot to say it. And we'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time.

Have a good day. guitar solo We'll see you next time.