The Nick DiPaolo Show - World Health Disorganization | Nick Di Paolo Show 426

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

W.H.O. flips its stance on lockdowns. Biden thinks he's running for senate. Denver shooting self-defense claim debunked.

🎵 Yeah, oh the sweet sound of Richie Castellano How are you folks? Welcome It's Tuesday Yesterday was Kill an Indian, some booze day, whatever the fuck. Can't believe people are still celebrating it. It's, you know, how are you? It's Tuesday. That means a three-day work week here. But you know what? I worked my balls off this weekend and it was well worth it. Had one of the best weekends in comedy I've ever had. Because you don't know what to expect when you go out there, folks. You know what I mean? You don't know what's going to, with the COVID rules and shit, but let's just put it this way. With the COVID rules, I still pack the jerk.

And I'll get to that in a few seconds. But before I do, I want to thank you guys, Patreon members. As you know, I get booted this week from YouTube. So I want to thank the Patreon members who have continued to support me in the show. I love all my fans. I really do. But you guys are the best. You're the glue that keeps this show going. And I promise right here and now that it's going to keep going. I don't give a fuck what they throw at me.

Okay? Google and whatnot. I'm not the first guy to go through this. Crowder's pioneered this and other people. Last week, I talked about how COVID is being used for political purposes, which we all know is true. But I had the balls to say it. And I don't think I'm the only one. Right. And guess what? YouTube. Disagree with me. disagree with me.

Wouldn't you know, they decided that, YouTube decided they'd rather protect the World Health Organization, who has been wrong about everything since this shit started. What's more important than protecting free speech and the truth? And they shut my channel down for a week.

They'd rather protect the World Health Organization than free speech. That says it week. They'd rather protect the World Health Organization than free speech. That says it all. They are everything that's wrong with this country right now. When I say they, I mean people who vote Democrat. End of fucking story. If you're a fan of mine, still vote Democrat. You don't get what I'm doing, but you know what? I'll still take you as a fan. still vote Democrat. You don't get what I'm doing, but you know what? I'll still take you as a fan. Maybe you're a little more open-minded. So I'm, you know, they shut me down and my manager wrote here, I'm not going to get angry, which is bullshit. I'm fucking furious. I don't know what

he's talking about. It's my anger that fuels me. I came out of my mother fucking swearing. She'll tell you that. Punched her right in the shrub. Listen, I'm not going to play the victim, though. That I will not do. That's that's the left's territory. OK, I'm going to keep going and I'm going to keep growing. That's what I say to my wife right in the middle of sex a couple of years ago. We're going to do the show right here on Patreon only this week. The next week, I am going to announce my own platform. Thanks to my great manager, Tommy Nicky, who's been working around the clock to put it together.

It'll be 100% free for the people, completely uncensored. It will be a home for comedians who have the balls to tell the truth and the viewers who want to hear it and see it. Wait a minute, Tommy. There's going to be other comics trying to do what I do? Better have me at the top of the list, son. Stay tuned for that next

week. That's a big announcement. Did you see the spit fly out of my mouth? In the meantime, though, I want to thank you guys again for your Patreon support. You guys are the ones who make it happen. And you really do. Same with the people who contribute daily at NickDip.com. In the

N-word segment tonight uh a guy named delling paul i think he writes a bright uh headline uh and this was related to what i i was just talking about uh and after i do this i'm going to talk about the fans this weekend real quick. Big Tech, he says, wants you to stay muzzled. Lockdown, he says. Forever is what he says. What? Blossom for you. That's right.

He's talking to me. Why doesn't Big Tech, he writes, want you to know about the Great Barrington Declaration? I better put on my cheaters. Why has it been censored by reddit and briefly shadow banned by google and why is one of its authors the subject of a planned smear job by the left-wing guardian newspaper you won't find the answer in the document itself that's for sure the great barrington declaration is a thoughtful compassionate science-driven petition calling for a more rational global response to the covid 1919 crisis, as opposed to what

the World Health Organization did, and that I'm fucking shitting against, and somehow YouTube, you get it? It was initiated by three highly respected figures in the field of epidemiology, Harvard professor Martin Kulldorff, Oxford professor Dr. Sunitra Gupta, Shemp Howard, and Donald Trump. No, Dr. Sunitra Gupta and Stanford professor Dr. Jay Bacharya. Those are Indians. I always go to Indian doctors. And so far has been signed by more than 235,000 concerned citizens, nearly 7,000 medical and public health scientists, and nearly 15,000 medical practitioners. Like a growing number of scientists and non-scientists, the petition's authors are worried that the current coronavirus policy in many countries, including the U.S. and the U.K., is doing more harm than good. I'd kill you. I'd kill you right now.

Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face.

Like a somebody. Come over here. Talk to me in face. I'm in quarantine in my house. Like who organization? Tell me, Toe. Here's what they say. The doctors and scientists who wrote this Barrington Declaration.

And tell me Trump wasn't right on. Current lockdown policies are producing devastating effects on short and long term public health. The results, to name a few, include lower childhood vaccination rates, worsening cardiovascular disease outcomes, fewer cancer screenings and deteriorating mental health. cancer screenings and deteriorating mental health see joe biden leading to greater excess mortality in years to come with the working class and younger members of society carrying the heaviest burden keeping students out of school is a grave injustice keeping these measures in place until a vaccine is available will cause irreparable damage it already fucking has while the underprivileged disproportionately harmed all that is true is it not yet they don't want to put they didn't want to put this on youtube until they were pressured

and gave in um they believe that those who are not vulnerable should immediately be allowed to resume life as normal and that only the vulnerable should be shielded exactly fat old people nursing homes they have to stay out. The rest of us healthy, you really fucking think our linebacker at Alabama who's 6'4", 260, runs a 4'5", 40, black as the aces, but you really think this shit's going to hurt him? Could be a white linebacker. That was horribly racist, Nick. Ah, what the fuck? The most compassionate approach that balances the risks and benefits of reaching herd immunity is to allow those who are at minimal risk, like myself, of death to live

their lives normally, to build up immunity to the virus, again, see Sweden, through natural infection while better protecting those who are at high risk. We call this, when I say we, I mean me and the doctors, we call it focused protection, which is what I call condoms when I was single. Never used them. Who am I kidding? In no way is this an extreme position, yet big tech has chosen to treat it as if it were in the same league as hate speech or dangerous conspiracy theory. Fucking quiz! Conspiracy theory.

Fucking quiz! See Nick DiPaolo. Could put me right. I feel proud. Oh, here's the fucking. These are the big tech. These are the elites who are running the planet. Bill Gates should be at the top above these guys, actually. These are the people who don't want that out there.

Because it's going to fuck up their globalist plan. Their plan to turn the United States into a socialist shithole. There they are. Especially the Indian. Three over. I feel like I'm doing a Zoom visit with my primary care physician. At the weekend, Google shadow banned the Great Barrington Declaration. If you tried searching for it, the first sites you were shown were ones that debunked it, such as a hit piece in the rather dubious activist blog Byline Times. What the fuck is that? Which attempted to link the declaration to a Koch-funded network, you know, the Koch brothers, that denies climate science while investigating polluting fossil fuel industries.

Oh, is that what you found out snotty little bastard google has since relented under public pressure but why did it censor in the first place the author writes who could possibly be harmed by exposure to a calm considered uh refutation of the draconian public narrative being enforced by so many governments around the world? Great question. So you see, doctors, epidemiologists, people who are known around the world are being treated like yours truly, a stand-up comic. I'm right in the mix with those guys. Sure, I got a 2.4 on business administration. Anyways, God help us. There is nothing, absolutely nothing within the Great Barrington Declaration which could possibly breach either Google's or Reddit's terms and conditions

in justifying closing it down. See, this is just their sanctimonious, we're smarter than you. The rest of you are just little rats that we're going to get. I listened to the Illuminati book on the way. I drove home from Sunday night, fucking left Nashville all the way, seven hours to fucking where I live. Got in seven in the morning and I'm still paying for it. You can't do that when you're 58.

But I was listening to the Illuminati, folks. It all goes together. This shit's been done. It's not even new. Nothing new under the sun. So what reason could big tech possibly have for centering it? Those who have read Alam Bokhari's terrifying book, Deleted, will have a better inkling than most. Big tech has become so, this is in the book, shamelessly left-wing that is now barely capable of embarrassment about its relentless bias big

tech supports full lockdowns enforced mask wearing quarantines curfews and all the other authoritarian baggage because it aligns with its own interest in global rule by technocratic elite the jerk-offs we just showed you do you understand and bill gates and his fucking he's like the king and his old man. He also probably builds a server I'm going to. I better shut the fuck up. What? An even bigger government in the globalist new world order

promoted by institutions like the World Economic Forum at Davos, the Chinese controlled World Health Organization, and there's a whole bunch of others that I've mentioned in the Illuminati book anyways they're increasingly flexing their muscles to suppress the voice of Nick DiPaolo and his doctor friends is the fucking areas anybody see him on campus when you're out there and Google I mean sneak on don't not an employee. Just give him a

fucking real need of the balls. Be hesitant. I mean, his clit. What did I say? Shithead. So you see that? Do you see what's going on? But we're all conspiracy theorists, right? That's what the left says. Oh, they're being paranoid. I'm shadow banned, right? I have been for years on You Know What? They froze my number on Twitter. Now they're doing the same. That $159,000 you see on YouTube is probably, or at least $200,000.

I'm telling you. See this? It's a mask. I wipe my ass with it. Then I wash and I wipe my ass again. Let me talk about my great fans since we were on the subject. I was in Huntsville, Alabama Saturday night, a place called Stand Up Live. I had never done it.

I don't know what to expect, right? I've never been to Alabama first time. They introduced me. I come out, and I'm not telling you this to brag, but standing ovation when I was introduced. That hasn't happened to me anywhere, ever. Ever. Not my hometown. I mean, and me and Tommy, we know, we haven't hit this market yet.

I've been doing this 30-something years. I played Atlanta. I've played Florida. I've done North Carolina, South Carolina. But not, you know what I'm saying, before anybody knew who the fuck I was. So I was wondering, this is a good way to take the temperature, how the show's doing and stuff like that. And I couldn't believe what I saw.

And they couldn't have been nicer, more supportive. Like I said, they can only allow so many people. We were at the max. And one guy fell over laughing. He was drunk. He tried to talk me at the beginning of the show. I'm over here doing a bit like 10 minutes later.

I hear smash. He's laying on the floor fucking out like a light, like Summer Sucker Punch. They try to pick him and I'm not doing this to encourage drunk people. We hate this at shows.

It interrupted a show of 10 minutes but I handled it a lot better than I used to. I told Jason like 10 years ago if I was on stage, had a few drinks, I mean, I would have stomped the guy when he was on con, you know, like a fucking Antiva guy. I actually try to help the guy up. Anyways, turns out he had six drinks before he came to the club, he said. And he had mixed, this guy was like my age or young, a little young,

said he mixed the alcohol with his mother's medication. Not his brother's, not his the alcohol with his mother's medication. Not his brother's, not his cousin's. His mother's medication. What are you taking, shit for foot fungus or corns? Then I go to Nashville. We added a second show because they sold out the first one. Again, half capacity, whatever. But, oh my God, folks.

I've never been treated better by the club, by the frigging audience. Uh, before the show, this guy comes up to me outside the club and says, I got something for you. His name was Mike. He lived in upstate New York. He did two tours of, uh, Iraq and a tour in Syria. He told me what kind, I think he was a gunner. Um, Syria. He told me what kind, I think he was a gunner. And it was, I think it was a vehicle. He, you know how everything's abbreviated in the military. It was an S2C75. He said he was in that window for two years. So I'm guessing he meant as a gunner, right? I mean, this hard Corvette hands me this. This is what they flew on the vehicle the whole time he was there. I am not worthy. I didn't want to take it.

But you don't want to insult the vet, but I'm not worthy of this. But look at it. Thank you so much for what you did, Mike, for all of us. Nobody appreciates it more than a comic with a big mouth. I'm not saying me. We all have big mouths,

which we do, in your opinion. But do you believe this? I am so humbled. I got one from Afghanistan a few years ago. A guy sent me, he had the guy, some of the guys signed it. I mean, are you shitting me? I feel like such a phony when he comes up to me

after the show, he goes, hey, tough guy. And I went, uh-oh, this guy sees right through me. Sure enough, met who did like three tours, you know. And then there's a guy in the front. His name is Peter Horn, young kid. I see he's got something at his feet. Look at this. He's a painter. Are you kidding me? Does that look familiar if you've been to nickdip.com? Look at that. I thought he just took a picture and blew up, you know, I'm like, I can do that. It's a fucking painting. That guy is talented, man.

I caught my wife stabbing it. I had to touch it up this morning. She was stabbing the forehead with a salad fork. So I had to touch it up. But guys, I can't thank you enough. I shook everybody's hand and met so many nice people. enough. I shook everybody's hand and met so many nice people. Peter Horn visual artist.

Website, Horn, H-O-R-N-E bros, B-R-O-S studios.com Anyways. HB, it says. Pete Horn, visual HB. Anyways, thank you guys

all weekend. I never... I always bitch when I have to go on the road, because let's be honest, I've been doing it a long time. I couldn't have been happier. I was so fired up about the way it went, I drove home, fell asleep only twice at the wheel. Woke up and there was a baby stroller and some chickens. I knew I was in Georgia.

Some chicken bled on the windshield, but I just put the wipers on. Anyway, let's stay on COVID, shall we? I think I said everything I want to say. We had what? Since last night, listen, I think we've had over 100 Patreon people sign up since last night. That's usually about a month's worth. Mamma mia. Oh, one more quick story.

It's a great one. The guy I was working with was an ex-cop, the guy who opened for me. And he worked with Emo Phillips at this club a few months ago. And Emo was kind of bummed out because he didn't sell as many as he thought he was going to do. It might have been a year ago. I'm not sure when it was.

Anyways, he's sitting there bummed out. And then the manager of the club comes in and says, Emo, somebody wants to meet you. Can I bring him back? And he goes, sure. Who'd they bring back to meet Emo Phillips? Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin. Been a huge Emo Phillips fan for years.

How cool is that? Almost as cool as me when the Van Zant brother came to see me at St. Augustine, Florida. That's right, a skinned boy. Obviously the alive one. But anyways, let's stay on this hoax. And that's why I'm not on YouTube today.

Spreading word of the truth. The WHO organization, World Health Organization, has warned leaders against relying on COVID-19 lockdowns to tackle outbreaks after previously. Do we already do this? What the fuck? I think I got COVID months ago. After previously saying countries should be careful how quickly they reopen. So now they're changing their tune after everybody's taken their own lives and broke and out of work.

And here is World Health Organization, Dr. David Nabarro. And here he's going to tell you how they changed their tune a little bit. Here, he's going to tell you how they changed their tune a little bit. I want to say it again. We in the World Health Organization do not advocate lockdowns as a primary means of control of this virus. Pause. But you did. But you did, stupid. So Trump was right.

Let me hear you say it out there. Remember, he wanted Trump wanted to open it up on Easter. Well, we had to learn about it. You're supposed to be scientists. So you misled the world, and it cost a lot of people their lives. You talk, you talk, suck up. These are the people. You know how the Dems go, listen to science.

We did. And science, that's him. Surprises somebody from China probably blowing him under his desk right now because they're in bed with each other. Right. And they happen to be wrong. Go ahead. down is justified is to buy you time to reorganize regroup rebalance your resources protect your health workers who are exhausted but by and large we'd rather not do it really haven't you changed your fucking tone you know mama loca he says he added that lockdowns have severely impacted countries that rely on tourism. Just look at what happened to the tourism industry in the Caribbean, for example, or the Pacific, because people aren't taking their holidays, Dickweed said. Look what's happened to small, small whole farmers all over the world. Look what's happening to poverty levels.

It seems that we may well have a doubling of world poverty by next year we may well have at least a doubling of child malnutrition you've been he's saying it like they had nothing to do with it like they're a third party interest and look i'll cut you some slack if you cut trump some slack trying to blame the economy on him because a once in every thousand year pandemic hit. So cut him some slack. Just admit you as clueless as anybody. And you're supposed to be the experts. Listen to yourself, folks. I think that's the message. The U.N. agency previously warned countries against lifting lockdowns too soon during the first wave of the virus. Yeah, we realize that.

Tedro. Oh, this is from Ted. The last thing any country needs is to open schools and businesses, only be forced to close them again because of a resurgence, said Director General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus. You know, Teddy. He said that months ago. So I hope he admits he's a fucking uh a moron please durka durka muhammad jihad what haka sherpa sherpa a bacala nick he's indian i don't lump him in it drives the left crazy but tedros has urged countries to bolster other measures including

widespread testing and contact tracing so they could safely reopen and avoid future lockdowns. He says we need to reach a sustainable situation. Or should I read it in his native tongue? Things are going on now. We need to reach a sustainable situation where we have adequate control of this virus without shutting down our lives entirely. Again, you weren't singing that tune and you're blaming Trump for it. The whole world's blaming Trump for it.

Or lurching from lockdown to lockdown, which has a hugely detrimental impact on societies. We all know that. You're a fucking day late. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating like me? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

So can you guys just apologize to Trump? You know what Trump did? Do you remember what he did? He converted all those factories and all those giant corporations, got them to make ventilators by the thousands. Now we're sending, we have more

than we can, restock the shelves with everything, PPE equipment. And how did he do it? Through his business connections, which Obama couldn't have fucking done, or Biden, or anybody else who's going to be president. So he actually, and I'll say it again, out of the 200,000 people that supposedly have died, remember the number, was it roughly 10,000? Only 10,000 had that supposedly have died. Remember the number? Roughly 10,000?

Only 10,000 had died of actual COVID and not something, you know, like diabetes-related COVID or foot fungus COVID. 19 other. Some kid falls off a swing and dies. They say it's COVID. Well, he had a runny nose

and he was squinting his eye. Yeah, whatever. I did it again, folks. I told you this story a million times how last February I went to Chicago. I shook 300 hands. And this is during the COVID. I went in and picked up a slice of pizza without washing my hands. And I did it again.

I figure I have the antibodies because I'm pretty sure I had it. i did it again after huntsville shook everybody's hand they gave me a pizza to go and uh it's alabama pizza let's just say that but i love these people it's kind of stereotypical they're like hey you want a pizza you italian eat it take it back to the roman shit um i had to zing them back. I'm like, yeah, if you're not fucking your sister and you have time to make it, go ahead. They couldn't have been sweeter. Do you know that Huntsville, Alabama, do you know they sent the first rocket to the moon? I did not know that. Talking to Quinn, calling Quinn on the phone as I'm driving down. So Quinn gave me a good line. He says, yeah, the only astronauts that had a pit crew and a Penske sticker on the fucking.

Let's get into the violent left and how we're on the verge of a civil war, whether this election is coming or not. How many people have been killed now by the violent left? And again, only Fox News covers it and people like me. But this was some serious shit. The security guard investigated in the shooting death of a Navy veteran at a Denver rally, acted in self-defense when he opened fire on the right wing demonstrator. His lawyer said in an interview who the fuck wrote this you can't handle the truth don't you love it the guy's dead they

refer to him as a right wing you know i mean self-defense my balls we have the clip matthew doloff 30 got a picture of him right here. There he is. Fucking Emilio Estevez. The captain of the Mighty Ducks. That's Doloff. A hired security guard is being held in first degree murder investigation in the caught on video death of Lee Keltner during a patriot rally that included clashes with the violent scumbag Black Lives

Matter fuckstains. I added that for rally that included clashes with the violent scumbag black lives matter fuck stains i added that for emphasis local news station nine news tv had hired the pinkerton detective agency subcontractor to provide security during the demonstration so how this works is the station went through pinkerton right like a broker to hire security. Pinkerton hired this jerk off. Turns out he doesn't even have a license. So they're in deep shit, okay? He was not licensed to work in that capacity, officials said. Keltner, this is this left-wing take.

Keltner struck Doloff while holding a can of apparent pepper. First of all, they had words before that. Do you see how this is written? of apparent purpose. First of all, they had words before that. Do you see how this is written? Kelter struck Doloff while holding a can

of apparent purpose right and used the substance against Doloff who opened fire. His images, kind of a, you know, matchbook look at it. Shoots the guy dead.

They're in a shoving match. This guy uses pepper spray, and this jerk-off thinks it gives him the right to kill him. And I have seen many lawyers on TV since saying, you don't have the right, unless you think you're in imminent danger. I'm paraphrasing the law, obviously. But pepper spray is not going to kill you. Good luck, pal. And they're trying to compare this guy with Rittenhouse, whose name you've heard a thousand times, right, since that incident,

who was being beaten by a guy with a skateboard. Another guy had a handgun. And the fucking left is trying to compare that situation to this. This handsome fucking Emilio Estevez. Look at him. See ya. If he gets off. Family attorney Doug Richards told the Denver Post that Doloff saw Keltner reaching into his shirt and feared for his safety. Really? I saw him spraying for, you know, a few seconds.

Right. So he clearly knew it wasn't a gun. So that's going to fall flat on its face. He says the slimy lawyer, I think it's important to recognize that this is somebody who is at the protest working to protect First Amendment rights. What? What are you talking about? I'm going to kill you, you lying cocksucker! Protecting First Amendment rights? That's how you do it?

Do you, anybody, you see what's going on? See, they hire these guys right to protect you know the reporters from local affiliate in case it gets nasty out there why not just give the reporters a gun wouldn't you love to see shepherd smith with a pink handgun fucking pumps anyways uh doloff's concealed carry pistol permit was yanked after the g you don't say after the shooting pending the outcome of his first degree murder case richards the lawyer said that doloff had worked as an armed security guard at a debate between colorado u.s senate candidates held at denver sevens tv studio guy's been a fucking ass forever you're a loser you'll

always be a loser the station confirmed that he was one of the guards uh at the event but disputed that he was armed we do not use armed guards news director holly gaunt you make fill in the dirty holly gaunt told the Denver Post in an email, we have always, why would you, you don't, so how, security, guard, but you don't, they don't have weapons? What is this, London? What do you give them, a foot long from subway that's stale? We've always told Pinkerton that we want unarmed guards.

Well, you're in the wrong country. I wonder how that's going to fit into this defense lawyer's story. Huh? Shut down NBC, too, the affiliate. They're all lying cocksuckers, each and every one of them. Richards, the lawyer, said he did not know precisely what security training doloff had undergone or who provided the training i'm gonna go with george soros and antifa

who's with me anybody even if he didn't carry the special denver security license it didn't stop pinkerton from sending matt into that job and it doesn't change the fact that Matt was acting in self-defense. Boy, you're fucked, dude. If that is your argument. On Monday, Pinkerton released a statement offering its condolences. Ooh, I bet you that meant a lot. To those affected by the shooting. To those affected. You mean the guy who got shot in the face and died? Those affected, like he sprayed 100 people. As it relates to the incident in Denver on Octoberober 10th the agent in question is not a pinkerton employee but rather they're throwing him under the uh but rather a contract agent from a long-standing industry vendor yes but you hide him i don't have to be judge

fucking judy to i know you're in deep shit. Did you check his records? Did you vet him? Security professionals often serve, again, this is the lawyer, as guides to protect media crews during potentially dangerous situations or hostile environments. We are fully cooperating with the law enforcement authorities in their investigation.

You better. You better. You're done, boy. In deep shit, boy. Yeah, I do a real Southern sheriff and I suck on a vape. I'm fucking sure that's how Jackie Gleason did it. Hey, everybody.

Hey, everybody. We've got some new merchandise to announce here on the show. We decided to roll it out today because it really came about as something my hardcore fans created. These were designed exclusively by MerchPark.com for the Nick DiPaolo show. Check some of these things out. See, my fans call themselves the Nickers. Boy, I have to fucking emphasize when I say that. So there's one of the T-shirts. And then they started riffing on this stuff.

These are for the more affluent Nick DiPaolo fans. Nicker Rich. I think I came up with that on the plane with Tommy. House Nicker. That's definitely mine. That's for moms and dads who stay at home. M moms who love the show and stay-at-home moms. You know, they're in the house. Anything else?

What up, Nica? Oh, nothing. I love these T-shirts. Why? Because we'll really see, you know, it's kind of a First Amendment thing. Again, these shirts came about because the fans have adopted and anointed yourselves as Nicas. Why? Because we'll really see, you know, it's kind of a First Amendment thing. Again, these shirts came about because the fans have adopted and anointed yourselves as Nickers. And I couldn't be happier to save to have you as my fans and save you.

So you can buy these now through my website at NickDip.com. And we have a link to Merch Park who designed them. Or and check this out if you're a patron and you increase your support level we will send you this shirt free and a nick dipalo show mug for free as a thank you if you upgrade to the higher tier this is just for this week again just for this week if you go from the sunny level to the michael level you get your choice of a shirt and a mug if you go from the michael level to the level, you get your choice of a shirt and a mug. If you go from the Michael level to the Vito level, you get your choice of a shirt and a mug. And of course, if you just want the shirt, again, these are on my website now at nickdip.com.

I'm going to love seeing you guys in these things. Send in photos wherever you wear them. Being chased up the street in Detroit, you know. You asked for them, so here you go. You created them. You got them. Our father. Here's a picture of me getting a shit kicked out of me

on the corner of Florence and Normandy. I use the T-shirt as a tourniquet. Hey, you guys, I know you're reading the polls and Trump supposedly is getting crushed. And again, didn't we hear this before? Four years ago? Don't believe any of it. How much evidence you need to know that the media is fucking anti-Trump. So anyways, um, he spoke, I think, and he had a rally last night in Florida. And, um, again, the media is portraying that he doesn't have a chance or whatever. Well, I don't know.

I wish I could draw lines like this as a comedian. Check out this. These are people waiting to get into the fucking. Watch how long this is. It's freakishly. Just getting started. I took this footage myself. I was on a unicycle.

Dressed like a Trump Uncle Sam hat. Look how long this thing is. You're not going to believe it. I think it stretches to Connecticut. Look at this. Yeah. No support whatsoever. This is called groundswell support. And you've seen Biden, right? Biden hasn't talked to this many people in his 47 years in D.C. That's how dumb and uninteresting he is. Are you kidding me? I thought they were lining up a COVID test. That kept going, by the way.

I could have bored you for another three minutes. So don't believe the fucking... You know, MSNBC and Don Lemon and all the guys at CNN telling you he ain't got a chance. And then they won't show this footage. Prove that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong. Exactly, Quint. I think Mike Pence had a rally, too, and it drew more people than Biden has in all of his so far in this campaign. Is that right?

He has around like 2000 and Biden's pulled like 84 total. Think about that, folks. Think about it. They're so evil on the left. They're so evil, yet so smart. They're trying to steal the election. We all know that with the COVID hoax and stay home and mail in your ballot so we can fuck with it. Right. But what do they do? They came out and they came out and accused and told everybody months ago that Trump, if he wins, he stole it. and told everybody months ago that Trump, if he wins, he stole it. And there's enough of you shitheads out there who just want to be fucking right, don't care about the truth, whatever.

But how about that, right? Accuse people of what you're doing. A little projection. He's going to steal it. Meanwhile, they're finding truckloads of uh ballots mailed out by the trump administration we showed you last week torn up finding them in creeks my boy trump's busting uh biden's balls again president trump uh yesterday ridiculed biden for mistakenly saying at a campaign stop he's running for the Senate and appearing to forget Mitt Romney. What's this shithead?

Here's your candidate. You know, we have to come together. That's why I'm running. I'm running as a proud Democrat for the Senate. Visit IWO.com slash Ohio. God protect. Thank you. Which way am I going going what are we doing what's going on right now

what are we doing what's going on right now the second one didn't really what he said was idaho i iowa oh, I mean, can you imagine? Seriously, do you remember when Trump first got elected, they were saying he's not fit mentally? Remember? They tried to start that shit. Can you imagine? And they put this fucking guy. I know he's just a puppet. Look at him right here.

That's the face he made after he kissed his sister-in-law. I think it was his niece. I kissed his brother. Thinking it was his wife. One of the two. Oi, Oi,

I fuck up. So when Trump says, Trump said at the rally, he told a roaring crowd, sleepy Joe Biden, not a nice guy, joe biden not a nice guy by the way not a nice guy he had a very bad day today he says pull my finger i'm gonna shit my pants if i ever had a day like he had that say it's over it's over he forgot mitt romney's name he didn't know what state he was in and he said today he's a proud Democrat running for the Senate. Trump joked,

could you imagine if I did that? I came out and said, great to be with you. It's great to be a wonderful developer from New York. Who's writing this shit? They'd say, he's out of his mind. He's out of there. Get him out. And then he says, Biden's got a lot of bad days coming. That sounds like a veil threat. You got a lot of bad days, Joe. And I'm not talking about forgetting what state you're in.

You know that nursing home you're going to be in in six months? Yeah, we built that. The few screws missing on the third floor elevator. The one thing I know for sure, President Xi of China, this is Trump talking, President Putin of Russia, Kim Jong-un, they're 100% sharp. We have someone running who's not 100%. He's not 80%.

He's not 60%. Sell. Biden made the mistakes during a Columbus Day campaign trip to Toledo, Ohio. He previously claimed he was running for Senate during a stop at South Carolina back in February. What a dummy. Can you imagine? That's your candidate, folks. Hey, Randy, that's your candidate. Here's my co-host. You are correct.

Jason, what are you doing? I am making notes. What, a book you're writing? By the way, Jason can write his balls off. Seriously, someday bring in some of the... Can you bring in a couple? Sure, yeah. A couple of paragraphs. Guy, I'm not shitting you.

It's like Hemingway-like stuff. Thank you. It's unbelievable then he uses the toilet he leaves it with no he doesn't flush there's a big stinky thing no it's a joke Joe Biden let's stay on him while he's still alive Joe Biden blasts voters who say they're better off under Trump. He blasted woman voters saying you'd be better off under me. Yummy, yummy.

Anyway, speaking during an interview at a local station, WKRC in Cincinnati, the 2020 Democrat made the remarks after being asked about a recently released Gallup poll, which found 56% of voters felt their financial situation improved under President Trump's administration. That's why it's such, this is how you

know they have nothing. We all know if they get in, they're going to destroy this, the Constitution, they're going to pack the court, they pack fudge. This is what they do, the left. They're going to pack the court. They pack fudge. This is what they do, the left. They're going to, they just, they have no, they fucking, they hate this country. They're going to get rid of the filibuster, which means a minority. They say you can't block a fucking, okay?

They're going to have a, it'll be a one party. Look at the state of California. When I say look at the state, I mean the state and the state of it. That's a one party state for years years it's a shithole and usually as California goes so goes the United States so take a good look at that and that's what you're gonna get can you imagine going fuck the constitution we're gonna do what we want because ideas aren't strong enough we're're going to change the rules of the game. Let's move those goalposts to fit us. Dirty, dirty, dirty.

Anyways, here's Joe at a bad comedy club bombing. That's what it looks like with this. I want you to notice the level of the microphone. This is why you can barely hear. And, of course, there's a very gay black fella asking the question. So, you know, it must have been a tough interview, but here you go. I want to talk a little bit about the economy. Where is he? The funny bone in Columbus? I'll be here all week. Try the chicken fingers, everybody.

I'm going to have my opening act, Kamala Harris. Wasn't she funny? Listen to this guy, by the way, this fruit cup, asking him a question. And look where the mic is. That's not a microphone. We call it a dictaphone. Go ahead. Last week, 56% of Americans said that they were better off today than they were four years ago, would have been under the Obama-Biden administration. So why should people who feel that they are better off today under the Trump administration vote for you? Well, if they think that, they probably shouldn't. They think 54% of American people are better off economically today than they were in our administration. Well, their memory is not very good. He just said their memory is not very good. Joe Biden just said people who think they're better off financially four years ago, their memory is not very good. He's a lying motherfucker.

He's lucky he has that mask on. And who opened for him? Fucking Paul Williams. Look at the microphone. It's at 411. Can you imagine the irony Biden saying their memories suck and then he turns around, he walks right into that poster thinking Are you dog styling me? Does he say anything else? Okay, let's hear that talk. Pause. He doesn't, Trump doesn't share the value of most Americans. Can you even believe that for a second? What, Joe?

He doesn't believe in shit like you, like plagiarism? Like stealing money, putting your son on a fucking board in China? Threatening the prosecutor over there, the general prosecutor in China? Threatening fucking

to withhold money? What are your values, Joe? You think Amtrak is good. This guy, let me tell you something. You smoke cocksucker. Fuck you. That's what I say to him. Imagine that.

Well, their memory is not very good. No, actually, it's very good no it's actually it's very good that's the problem in addition to that he says we had a president who doesn't share the values of most americans he's not very honest with people as as opposed to joe he is flouting the conventions relative to public safety in terms of even now not wearing a mask. Do you understand how weak this is? We just did a report from the World Health Organization, basically countering everything that he stood for in the last six months. Not wearing a mask. A guy who has been a super spreader. You've been a super spreader. You've been lying for 47 years in D.C. You're a super spreader. A cock.

But look, whatever they believe, they should go out and vote, he said. People should vote, period. Oh, he's feeling real cocky now, huh? Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you.

Not this time. Not this time, Joey. Joe Biden and Kamala, Kamalass, Camelface, want to raise taxes. They want to bury our economy under a $2 trillion Green New Deal. Joe Biden says democracy is on the ballot.

Make no mistake about it. The American economy, the American comeback is on the ballot, argued Mike Pence. That's who said that. You are correct, sir. I told you, Mike Pence.

Those Japanese sex doll companies should make a Mike Pence doll. I'm telling you, they would fly out of the, uh, I don't know why. Uh, Diane, more coffee, please? I'd like to pretend I have a know why. Diane, more coffee, please. I'd like to pretend I have a staff here. Do you know 400,000 people have voted already in Georgia?

Or more than that, actually. There's already millions have voted already. That's kind of, I don't know, folks. Can't we all do it? Can't we decide on like a 48-hour period where your vote has to be in there and there has to be a picture of you holding your vote? You know what I mean? Take all the guesswork out.

Can't we do that? I think I could organize that tonight. Right after the baseball game. I look like a chubette. You know why? I fell asleep on the couch, again, because I slept four hours the night before. I get up last night. I get downstairs.

I go into this pantry. I don't eat processed shit. My wife loves it. All of a sudden, I'm hankering. When you get run down, you want sugar and salt. That's what your body craves. I went into this pantry. I found a box of things.

They're called donut sticks. Looks like something an Antifa guy would throw at your head. Way about a pound each. Fucking, it's not a natural ingredient. I read the thing. It reads like the back of a raid bottle. 220 calories each. I had two of those.

Right next to that was a thing called magic cakes. They look like little cupcakes, but they're filled with cream. I had two of those. They're 150 each. So that's 750. And what was the fucking third

thing? It made those look healthy, whatever the third thing was. What the fuck was it? Come on. I don't know. And that's after eating peanut butter out of a jar and a little ice cream about two hours earlier. Wake up looking like fucking Lena Dunham on the toilet. High-end brands tell security guy high-end brands as stores this is in the village in New

York City listen to this high-end brands tell security guards to keep quiet about looting over fear of being labeled guess being labeled what folks racist? Racist. Shut up. Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up. Shut up. Right in the headline, it tells you who's doing the, not that you needed to know. It tells you who doing the stealing by saying they're afraid they're going to be called racist if they say something. they're going to be called racist if they say something. And I'm guessing it's not white. I'm guessing it's not black people who own Hermes and fucking Gucci.

Do you get my point here? Just saying, don't tell the black people. We'll get in trouble. According to a report in the New York Post, shoplifters are terrorizing Soho's high end boutiques. Oh, we got a picture of it. Look at all those white supremacists. Look at all those white supremacists.

Look at that. This isn't during a riot or a protest, by the way. This is their idea of reparations, thanks to the left. The stores have posted numerous security guards outside the premises in an attempt to deter thieves. But ever since nationwide riots at the end of May, many of them are being told to stand down, the security guards, if any looting actually takes place. So why the fuck would you hire a faggot? Stop. You want to call by its name? That's strictly for fags. Don't say anything.

Then they'll call us racist. Let them steal our shit. We'll be out of business. But I don't want to be known as a racist. Wow. The white cowardice run so deep, I can't even to be known as a racist. Wow. The white cowardice runs so deep I can't even get my hands around it. If they store personnel,

they, stop them and say anything in the store before they left the building, then it often gets turned into a racial accusation. A local source told the newspaper. One of my first episodes on Tough Crowd, uh we're talking about i don't know there was a story about black shoppers you know they said people follow them around the store and shit and there's a lady couple and we had a black female comedian i don't know who the fuck she was and she's just saying it's you know fucking it's race that's just rape follow and i just looked at i said stop stealing you could hear a giggle nerve and live audience nervous giggles and shit

and i think that's when i got stamped funny the brands tell their employees to walk away the insider said they don't want to be the next instagram video claiming they are a racist brand no you'd rather just have your shit stolen and then mark it up so when white people come in to buy it you fucking nypd sergeant joseph uh imperatrice said mobs of young, oh, transient groups. Yeah, look at all those transients. What were they, bust in from China? Mobs of young transient groups are responsible for blitzing stores, grabbing as much stuff as they can hold before fleeing.

No, young black people are doing it. Can I make it any clearer? Yes, during the riots, you have Antifa people going in there, right? But that's because they're covered, you know. That's, you know, that's when you have. But, you know, what's an Antifa member, really? It's a jerk up. There are white niggers.

I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word. I don't. But we've all, we all, we just need to work together to make our country better. The late great Senator Byrd. That was Hillary Clinton's icon, by the way. There have been dozens, dozens of these incidents in recent weeks where the load is targeting. Let me see how you can figure what race is doing.

weeks where the loot is targeting. Let me see how you can figure what race is doing. Adidas. Fendi. Burberry. Celine. One thing we're missing is Popeyes and fucking Michael Jordan's Steakhouse.

And yes, I know there are white people too who steal stuff, but that's not the issue here the guy uh makes a good parent though it's all because of the you know they're motivated by what's going on the criminals appear to have become emboldened since the blm move and picked up steam earlier in the year presumably thinking that shoplifting a new pair of expensive sneakers is a form of justice. Given this on top of everything else, is it any wonder that people are fleeing from New York in droves?

Is it any wonder? Keep me going under. It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck. And I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. You're talking about. It's a good question. All right. Make me a sandwich. Make me a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. What are you talking about? It's a good question. All right.

Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. It's still funny. In our make me a sandwich segment tonight, the Michigan Supreme Court on Monday denied that yeast infection on wheels. Governor Gretchen Whitmer's request to delay the effect of an opinion that ruled her executive orders on the coronavirus pandemic are unconstitutional. So another strike against her. OK. Hey, she was a whore. B, she was a whore.

Like the blonde girl with the thumbs on the other side. I like the blonde girl with the thumbs on the other side. It's kind of hot. Ten days ago, the court ruled Whitmer, a Democrat who was a former prosecutor and prostitute and a first-term governor and a fucking barnacle on the ass of progress, had no authority to issue or renew executive orders relating to COVID-19 beyond April 30th. Whitmer filed a motion because she's a cheese eating fag last Monday saying more time is needed to allow for an orderly transition during which some responsive measures can be placed under alternative executive authority. Are you listening to all this? What she said was, I'll paraphrase,

I'll go around this. This is how arrogant she goes. I'll go around this by using my agencies. That's what she said. Health and human services, by the way, she used. I remember that. Yeah, she said for an orderly transition, some responsive measures can be placed under

alternative executive authority and the governor and legislature can work to address many of just what the fucking democrats do right more bureaucracy more meetings let's talk about it uh to address many other pandemic related matters that currently fall under executive orders and to her i say you need to shut the fuck up in its order monday the court wrote that our decision today leaves open many avenues for our governor and legislature to work together in a cooperative spirit and constitutional manner to respond to the covet 19 pandemic whitmer had extended the state's coronavirus emergency declaration by executive order april 30th after the Republican control

legislator advanced a bill that would not have renewed the original declaration. Whitmer cited the Emergency Management Act of 76 and the emergency powers of the Governor Act of 1945 as authority with two lower courts subsequently dismissing legal challenges to her actions. Whitmer issued a statement earlier this month after the court ruled she had no authority to issue new or renew the executive orders. Here's what she had to say. I'm forfeited to my own work, to my own flesh, my own trust.

The Supreme Court ruling handed down by a narrow majority of Republican justices is deeply disappointing, she said. And I vehemently disagree with the court's interpretation of the Michigan Constitution, she said. She was very upset, apparently, over all this. That's too bad. Oh, for you. She is drunk with power. We talk about her forever.

she is drunk with power. We talk about her forever. The Michigan court issued its initial opinion at the request of the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Michigan. It followed a lawsuit filed by three medical centers against Whitmer. You have scientists, you know, the ones we're supposed to listen to,

and doctors disagreeing with everything that's coming out of Democrat fucking people's mouths. Three medical centers filed suit against Whitmer in a federal court challenging her executive order that prohibited non-essential procedures during the pandemic. She's telling you whether your job is essential or not. And just a pompous, arrogant, malignant. What's on? What do you think the blonde girl is trying to say with her hands right there? She's checking herself.

I got a lump. Let's lighten it up with a nice story that makes everybody feel good. A former pizza company employee's been arrested after he was caught stuffing razor blades into dough sold at the supermarket in May. Bon appetit. Delicious. Thank you.

This is, what is this? Is this sausage stuffed crock? Would you like a breadstick? My wife actually had a good one. I go, what's he going to say to get out of the... Well, they asked for a slice, so they got a slice. Not bad from the wife. She's outside in the garage. I said, don't worry.

Don't worry about topping my jokes. Clean up that oil spill in that paint i had glasses before i started choking how about this guy though the food tampering incident came to light after a customer purchased pizza dough at a hannaford supermarket in sacro maine discovered the sharp implements inside the package. Surveillance footage showed a man later identified as Nicholas R. Oop, that's two. I'm a Nicholas R., but I have much better hair. Oh, I used to.

Tampering with the packaging of a Portland Pie pizza product in the store. Police said 38-year-old Mitchell was a former employee of the It'll Be Pizza Company, which manufactures the dough. Oh, he got canned from the dough and he's trying to. Authorities called on the public Sunday for helping tracking down Mitchell, who said they left the store in a 2005 silver or gray Toyota Camry, wearing a paper hat and name tag and firing up. Within two hours, authorities tracked him

to Dover, New Hampshire, around 50 miles away. This evening, the Dover, New Hampshire Police Department located Nicholas Mitchell took him into custody on the outstanding warrant for his arrest and the Hannaford's Portland Pie Pizza Dough Caper. Caper. Raz razor blade case this guy's in deep dog shit am i right hannaford supermarkets has recalled portland pie pizza dough in cheese sold in the deli at any location between august 1st and october 11th that's a lot of cheese customers are urged to return the items for a full refund. After what is believed

to be further malicious tampering incidents involving metal objects, why don't you just say it? They were razor blades inserted into Portland pie products. Hannaford has come out with a new pizza, the all new aluminum fucking garlic nut. Hannaford has removed all portland pie products from all store shelves and uh paused replenishment of the products indefinitely well that's a good move i'd say so Damn it! God damn it! That could have been funny if my headphone wire didn't get caught in my seat and I almost choked myself. All right, that's it. That's a long show, right?

Again, I got to thank you people. Patreon members. You're the lifeblood of the show. And you two booted us and you're there for us. Spread thy word. We're not taking the shit lying down, okay? I've already had a lawyer contact me. Because people have had enough of this chat.

Have they not? It's called free speech. Can you imagine? YouTube thinks that I'm misleading people that should be listening to the World Health Organization. You know how much COVID blood

I have on my hands? Not as much as Cuomo, the governor of New York, does, stacking old people up like firewood after his ruling. But that is it. Stay tuned for your

what we call encore presentation. As you know, Patreon members get an extra story that nobody else gets. And don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends, go to Cameo.com, check out Nick Dipp, and you tell me who he is,

a little bit about him or her, and I'll rip them a new one. We have thank yous too. And there was no question today because we're on YouTube, right? Here are the thank yous. God bless you, Jace. What am I saying?

We're recording. Listen, folks, don't be bored here. Tommy told me, he said, wait till the end. I don't know why, but he knows. He's a marketing genius. These are the contributions. They're usually what? Three pages pages long i have 12 pages this is how good my fans are and how they're responding amara lorch new mexico john sheffel massachusetts you ready oh you don't have to put the names up? All right. John Sheffield, Massachusetts.

John Awesome, Illinois. I'm fucking blind. Even with a 19 font, I can't see. Miso Horny Soup, Florida. Mike Laughlin, Nevada. Brad Thomas, North Carolina. Derek Carroll, Wisconsin. Matthew Chalfant, Kentucky.

Go a-washing your ass, Delaware. Ron Remen, New Jersey. Sean Littlehale, Massachusetts. Michael Rayant, Kentucky. Go a-washing your ass, Delaware. Ron Remen, New Jersey. Sean Littlehale, Massachusetts. Michael Ray Porter, Ohio. Patrick McGovern, Jr., New Jersey. Jeffrey Sowell, Florida. Owen Blackwell, Arkansas. Bob Culp, Wisconsin.

Joshua Shaw, Michigan. Sean El-Terry, South Carolina. Michael Wolheiser, Colorado. Randall Hicks, Michigan. Stephen Marquez, Colorado. Gary Hebner, New York, Joshua Turlin, Texas, Anton Dobeck, Connecticut, Anthony Andrea or Andrea, Illinois, John Tyler, Florida, Keith Young, California, Chucky Lawson, Massachusetts, Wendy Merrick, Texas, Ben Compton, Florida. Kevin Ivory, Iowa, Mike Finn, Florida. Kevin Ivory, Iowa. Mike Finn, Utah. Now here are the new monthly supporters.

I usually, well, just listen to this. This made me harder than a shark's tooth. Means the show's growing. 74, Coronado. Adrian Christensen. Again, these are new monthly members. Adrian Christensen. Again, these are new monthly members. Ari Willett.

Barry McConner. Oh, Jesus. Barry McConner. Barry McConner. Benny and the Jets. Beto. Bradley Roethlisberger. Chrissy.

I wonder if. Maybe. I think Roethlisberg would like my Chrissy Teigen's miscarriage oh my god oh say bye to the baby bye bye dickhead oh god

I actually like Chrissy Teigen a little bit you know why? I played in the beach bowl game with DirecTV before the Super Bowl. They do like a celebrity. And, you know, we're playing against Hall of Famers, Barry Sanders. And we ran into each other. And getting up, she patted my ass. That makes me famous.

Christopher Mabbitt. Christopher Wilson. Clifford Ritz. Corey. Criminal-minded. Daniel Hooks. Daniel Jordan. David Gordon. David Henry. Don Warford, Dirty Donkey, Eric Brach, Eric Rosenberg, Evgeny Basko, Greg Detling, Jay, Jacob Coulson, Jalen Turner, Jeremy Hare, Joe W., John, John Liccardo, John Wojcic, Joseph Reisswis,

geez, the Polacks are killing me, Reisswis, Julie Corwin, Catherine Miller, Kelly Gao, Kevin Merck, Creed, Christy Myers, Mark Galangalo, Mark, Matthew McDonald, Michael Blanchett, Michelle Edgar, Mike Chappelle, Nicholas Shackalas, Nick Madigan, Peter Acevedo, Peter Geyer, Ray Galbraith, Richard Rizzler, Rick Bozzillo, Ryan Evgen, Ryan Taylor Peterson, Scott Winsky, Steve Pitterese, Tom Honigford, Tom Yoakum, oh my god, Tyler, Walker Love, William Galehouse, Willie Fisterbutt, Willie Fisterbutt, Michael Anacone, Deborah Dennehy, Eric Veramontes, John Deveney, John Fox, Martin Fransman, Michael, Pops Shoe Repair Santa Barbara, Randy and Sarah Motherless Fuck Markham, Tyler Krikorian, stephen picton guys i don't know how many that is but those are all new patreon subscribers and uh i guess this is what happens when youtube boots you but i can't thank you enough you are the lifeblood of the uh of the show and we're not going to stop, folks. Okay? What else am I going to do? Become a civil engineer?

Huh? Learn to play the cello? The fuck am I going to do? Examine gymnasts at a college? Again, I thank you so much. That is it. Stay tuned for your encore presentation here on a Tuesday.

And remember, you guys, thank you. And I will say you're very welcome. Again, thanks to all of you who came out this weekend to see me in Huntsville in Nashville. See you in a few minutes. Bye. guitar solo I don't know.