The Nick DiPaolo Show - YouTube Ruining Brand | Nick Di Paolo Show #1457

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Joe snubs Adams, YouTube cancelling Brand and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Ah, the homosexuals. Me fuck you and your bones burn. Uh, what, huh? Don't you ever try to fuck me. Were those low? Okay. I mean, fuck you and your bone spurs. What, huh? Don't you ever try to fuck me. Were those low? Okay. God.

Hi, how are you, folks? Welcome to the show on a filthy Wednesday. State of Georgia. Good to be back from the road. Man, I was only out there like a week, but it felt like months. It's so funny how Santa Dallas, when you're home... Did you say Tuesday or did you say Wednesday? I said Wednesday. Okay. I'm losing my mind, too. We're off to a

rip-roaring start. Hey, did you shit? No, that was you. What? Me and Dallas, we gotta have a third camera on us. It's like a fucking doing show in a nursing home. Hey, did you burn the coffee? No, that was you. What? Who's? I know, dude. Walking around looking for my phone while I'm talking to

Colin Quinn on it. That doesn't happen once. I've done it about four times in my life. You know what's bad, too? I can't find my car keys and I'm looking in the freezer. You know what I mean? You're like, I might have. I was over here. Holy shit. You guys, I know, going, that's an old joke. Yeah, you'll fucking, it'll hit you. But I still, I can still get it up with a bottle of Viagra and a thing of Krazy Glue and a Popsicle stick and a sling. Where am I? What am I doing?

What did I do last night? Nothing. Dallas, what did you do? More wedding shit. Dallas is already a better husband than me. He's involved in the planning of his death. I mean, his wedding. And like I said, I was so uninvolved,

my wife sent me an invitation, which I turned down promptly because I had seats to the Brewers game. What? Excuse me. Dallas is getting hitched on October 12th. Should be great. Him and his wife have been taking dancing lessons, so I expect him to have his shirt off and he's on top of her shoulders doing that shit. The pole will be there. The pole will be there. Well, you better stay off and let the wife. Anyhow, Dallas is a good husband already.

I didn't tell Andy any of that about you helping. Nothing. I won't even unload the dishwasher. I go, what the fuck? I just bought home almost $1,100 from two weeks of shows. That's it. Let's get on with it. Oh, a little clip at the top of the show.

Since I've been spending so much time in DFW, Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, I already know it like the back of my hand. I know Seagate, bib, bib, bib. And a little clip today that made, well, let's just put it that way. I know they make the Bloody Mary strong at that airport, but this guy must have had like two of them. There's a naked guy in the airport. Yes, there is.

My man. That's a nice ass. Alrighty then. That guy had a nice ass. I'm not gay. I'm just saying. I keep checking mine in the mirror because, you know, I'm waiting to see. You see Michael Douglas like in a movie years ago? And they always had to show his ass because Hollywood's gay then

they show it like when he's 68 I you know I'm doing you know what I'm doing Kegels how about that guy my wife goes how could he do that I go honey I don't think he's in his right I'm guessing he's on drugs unless he's just got a giant cock and wants to show people. And I'm saying this and I'm dead serious. If I had a giant cock, I would,

every chance I would do something like that. If I was trying on pants at the Gap or whatever, I'd run out naked from the waist down saying there's a rat in there or something

just to show people my giant cock. What the fuck? Like I said, I can't believe I haven't run into that guy. Why don't they? We got to do a follow up. Does he get escorted out? Do they put a robe around him?

I want to see girls walking towards him and the reaction. Maybe someone goes, he's kind of hot. Who knows? He might have got blown right after the camera went off by some gay security guy, TSA. I picture him going up to the counter completely naked like that. And the lady goes, you checking any bags other than that one? Anyways, just thought, well, a little levity at the top of the show, God forbid. Let's get on to it.

Joe Biden snubs Adams. President Biden, oh, come, gave a Bronx cheer, which sounds like this, to New York City Mayor Eric Adams and the rest of the Big Apple, while in town for the U.N. General Assembly this week. That is the worst week to live in New York City. I went through this year after fucking year. You can't move. You get in a cab to go cross town, four blocks.

I'm not shitting you. It would take you. You get out and go here. You throw the guy at 20. It still ain't enough. Anyways, failing to set up a meeting with his honor. Is that a real word you think? H-I-Z-Z-O-N-A. His honor. If I was a rapper, I'd be MC his honor. As the debilitating migrant crisis continues to cripple Gotham, I don't feel bad for you, Adams. You're like every

other jerk off blue city mayor going, hey, Republicans of racists, we are a sanctuary city. We'll open our arms to everybody and anybody. How's it feel, you chocolate moose? Here's Biden arriving in New York and doing what he does. If this is Trump, Trump would run over to the press and fucking just talk to him for an hour. This is what I loved about. Here's Dick Weed. Again, this is nothing exciting.

I'm just showing you there's got to be a better way for reporters to ask questions. Go ahead. Mr. President. Mr. President. Ella Fitzgerald. Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. President. Oh, see, I take that. She asked something about, what are we doing?

What's going on right now? She asked something about Afghanistan. I'd take her out and stone her to death right in front of the U.N. Really? Is that the best way now? What, they're 100 yards away and they have to pretend they're doing their job? What if they didn't yell anything? Like he's going to turn around and go, oh, I'm sorry. Is that, I don't, that's all for show. That's so you and me go, oh, the press is trying to do their job. Suck a bag of cheese. I hate all you fucks, especially you, Biden. Hope you pass away before your term's up. I'm by natural causes, and by that mean, kick to the throat.

The country's commander-in-chief, oh, is that what he is? Has instead spent much of his time pooping his pants and playing bingo and rubbing green jello on Jill's ass. Good night, everybody. Much of his time attending multiple campaign receptions or holed up at the United Nations headquarters in midtown Manhattan, just four blocks from the city's overrun migrant intake site at the once iconic Roosevelt Hotel. Adams making it clear Tuesday that everybody knows where I am. Sniffed two reporters about Biden's visit. I am hoping that he understands this beautiful city that's economic engine of the entire country. What? Has been saddled with a $2 billion bill that we spent already. $5 billion we're going to spend in this fiscal crisis.

$12 billion in the next two budgetary cycles, whining bitch. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy, you guys. New York doesn't deserve this, he says. The asylum seekers don't deserve it. Yeah, they do. And yeah, you do.

You fuck. And so while he's here, I think that they should really reflect on New York City has done its part. To do what? Yeah, you've ruined taxpayers and Americans' lives, if that's your part. It's a terrible look, he says. What, the suit of your head? A City Hall source admitted to the Post that it's a terrible look. The president has been on the ground in Gotham for three days, Monday through Wednesday. Another City Hall insider bitterly quipped that Biden's visit meant he was the federal liaison that the White House has long promised to send to the Big Apple to help battle the flood of now 125,000 asylum seekers since April 20 of 22. There was footage today, God forbid I pulled it up and showed it, in Staten Island where they're,

you know, they're busing them out there. There was Staten Island people banging on the bus windows saying, you're not welcome. And you know what? Good for them. Good for them. If they were legal and came through, by the way, the Statue of Liberty is right there and came through that way, you know, I'd say that's mean. And they are welcome. I wouldn't say that either. Get the fuck out. It's too crowded anyway. But can you imagine you get kids going to Staten Island Elementary School and the schools are already being fucked up, you know. Overrun, there's a shortage of teachers. Just what? It's going down just the way the Dems planned.

Let's break this country. But Staten Island, those are some of the crankiest people ever made because Staten Island ain't exactly Aruba. I think they also said they're willing to take all the statues. They're pulling from all the George Washington statues, the Thomas Jefferson statues. Oh, and put them on. We'll take them and we'll put them up. Put them on Staten Island.

Yeah. Yeah. They're hardworking people. Always have been. Got a great slice of pizza there. Calzone. Diarrhea. On the beach.

It's terrific. Anyways, hey, in the second half of the show today, right here, great front of mine, I'm going to be talking about, what am I going to be talking about? Oh, what some college medical students in Brazil did at a girls' volleyball game. They did it all at once in the bleachers. It even shocked me. They did it all at once in the bleachers. It even shocked me.

And, you know, I can handle anything except the doctor that pops pimples. That one I need a trigger warning for. That is just like watching a fucking broken Dairy Queen machine. It's so gross. But that story is going to shock you. And another story about Anne Frank's book, I guess there's another version of it with pictures and stuff. It's kind of revised that two guys wrote. You know, it has to include what Anne Frank said about genitalia and shit.

And that's being forced on your kids as well as your teachers forcing themselves. Anyways, that's in the second half of the show. It's exclusively where folks on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts.

Just go to NickDip.com and click on store. Again, that's NickDip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Train roll on, on down the line. Hey, where I is? What do we got next? YouTube ruining Russell's brand. Nick, you should be writing for the Post. YouTube announced Tuesday that it has demonetized Russell Brand and blocked him from earning money on the social media platform.

They did this to Crowder. You're talking millions of dollars with these guys, by the way. You know what I mean? When you got like six million subs, it's real income. Who the fuck do you think you are? I agree. Who the fuck do you think you are? He's a handsome bastard. Who the fuck? That was Dallas when I parked in his space yesterday. Russell Brand, who was, you know,

he's a UK fucking artist, comedian, actor, all that shit. Huge success, right? And the player, the broads love him. He used to fuck Katy Perry for practice. So a guy that's getting all that snatch is definitely going to get in trouble, right?

If, if, if his narrative doesn't fit the left, which it doesn't anymore. He came to our side after the vaccination and all that other shit. Because he's really bright if you listen to him. So now he's an enemy of the state, meaning social media, the Biden administration, lefties. Social media, the Biden administration, lefties. YouTube says we have suspended monetization on Russell Brand's channel for violating, this is what fries my nipples, our creator's responsibility policy.

If a creator's off-platform behavior, it's none of your fucking business if it's off-platform. Well, Nick, you can if you have a Nike thing and you get blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but none of this has been proven yet. Behavior harms our users. How is that harming the users? What do they mean? Physically in real life harming you? What? Reading about his employees

or ecosystem. Now, when they say ecosystem, I'm like, do they really mean ecosystem? Or do they mean, you know, their business ecosystem? They're nuts enough to mean the real thing. Great point by me. It'll be lost. We take action to protect the community. There's that word again, community, community, commune, commune, communism. It's just two steps. It's why you've been hearing the word community a thousand times a day for the last 30 years. It's all been steps away. It's why you've been hearing the word community a thousand times a day for the last 30 years. It's all been planned out. YouTube said that in a statement and then I shot a load on the screen.

Good night. What? The company confirmed that action is related to serious allegations. That's right, allegations. Allegations. But they're a private company. They can do what they want. I asked, what's his name, Matt?

The brilliant Dershowitz, Alan Dershowitz. Remember I said, I go, why do these private companies, why do they get to trump the First Amendment and shit? He actually said it was a good question, but it does. He's, I don't know. Brands, but again, these are just allegations. Brands' main YouTube channel boasts more than 6.6 million subscribers.

The account is likely a significant source of income, which I said, which is now cut off like an Afghani's hand after shoplifting, a burqa for his mother. YouTube said its decision applies to all channels that may be owned or operated by Russell Brand. That's fucking censorship. That's faggot stuff.

Oh, I'll tell you. You want a call by its name? That's strictly for fags. Over the weekend, multiple British news outlets published a joint investigation into the 40, that's an eight or a six. It's all blurry. 48-year-old British comedian in which multiple women accused Brand of sexual assault and rape. And like I said, they waited about 10 years.

You know, when I get kicked in the balls, I used to say this on stage, I know it that very minute. The alleged incidents, George Carlin had the best line on Tough Crowd with us. We were talking about some lady who was suing for rape 20 years later. Carlin goes, well, if she waited 20 years, that means it's fresh in her memory. Must have been pretty good. I go, oh, he gets the show. The alleged incidents took place between 2006 and 2013.

You're raping me. This is rape. I didn't touch you. This is rape. No, it isn't. You're in the green room. Have a pickle. According to the story,

the woman felt ready to speak only after being approached by reporters. Yeah, there you go. Several said they felt compelled to do so, given brands' newfound prominence as an online wellness influencer. Let me tell you what that means. It's telling the truth about COVID and vaccines.

You see the language? I hate you motherfuckers. With millions of followers. In other words, he's preaching the truth out there because he finally woke up and now we're going to dig dirt up and ruin him on YouTube and other sites. Just like Steven Crowder. Crowder is a player. He's a fucking influencer. They demonetized him. And, you know, big bucks. And he regathered, went to Rumble, put a new show together, which I'm part of, which is great. And it's kicking ass. And I'll say it again. Biden will not be the nominee. Anyways, followers on YouTube and other sites. Brand has vehemently denied the allegations.

Here is Russell talking about it. I get a kick out of it. I, you know, I was like when he first came on the scene, another British hack or whatever. And then, you know, then I watch some of it. I go, OK, maybe prejudge too quick. But this accent, even when he's trying to deny allegations, the accent makes me laugh. But anyways, here he is. Very serious allegations that I absolutely refute. These allegations pertain to the time when I was working in the mainstream, when I was in the newspapers all the time, when I was in the movies. And as I've written about extensively in my books, I was very, very

promiscuous. Now, during that time of promiscuity, the relationships I had were absolutely always consensual. I was always transparent about that then, almost too transparent. And I'm being transparent about it now as well. And to see that transparency metastasized into something criminal that I absolutely deny makes me question, is there another agenda at play? Good. I'd let him fuck me with that accent. Very charming. I'm sorry, and I don't know, we don't know, you weren't there, I wasn't there. I'm sorry, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt since we've seen so much of this hash tube bullshit blow up in people's faces and ruins guys' lives on campus and everywhere else. Remember, always believe the women.

No matter what. No proof necessary. Yeah, there you go. I always believed the comedian. Well, that's bad, Bill Cosby. All right, bad example. I'm just saying the guy's bright, too bright to fucking piss it off. Yeah, he goes, I was promiscuous

you never hear that applied to men we were born promiscuous fucking catch his mitt if I'm lonely who wouldn't anyhow uh but like I said this is all about him being such an influence on the internet um and again the COVID thing he he you know he started to speak out on that and other stuff. And the minute you step away from the party line, the knives are out. If you're important enough. That's why I'm glad I had a mediocre career. Nobody touches me. I say all kinds of shit up here.

I'm almost insulted I haven't been kicked off. I'm kidding. I love your YouTube. I love Indian people and whoever runs the fucking shithole. Anyways, I hope he prevails. But the point being, you don't try him on Twitter and in public.

You don't hang the fucking guy. Oy, oy, oy. What a time to be alive, huh? Yeah, because now it's always guilty before proven innocent. Yeah, that's what I meant. I know that. what I meant. You heard Dallas.

He was just emphasizing what I said. It's true. Again, if you don't fit the narrative, they'll fucking hang you by, try to. Look at Johnny Depp. He's a left-wing scum still, but even he beat the rap. For those of you guys on Mug Club,

stick around for the second half of this great show. Everyone else, go to nickdipp.com and join the Mug Club to get my full show. You're going to get Steven Crowder's full show, Brian Callen, the Hodge twins, Alex Jones on Friday. And he's working on more names. And let me tell you something. They were well represented at my gigs this weekend, the Mug Club people. So speaking of influences, okay? You guys do that. And I was going to tell you to check out my dates,

but I think I'm taking a little break until next year as far as Stan. You never know. Tommy could throw me a whatever, but I want to do this for now, okay? I've got to go to Dallas next week. I'm on Crowder doing the Wednesday night. There's another debate, and that's when I sit in a chair and drink scotch with him and bourbon and call Chris Christie a fat bag. It's the best. guitar solo We'll see you next time. Bye.