The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #101 High Off My Own Supply

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Between you and Nikki, don't be ashamed of your feet, never settle and watch Buzz Aldrin's cameo on 30 Rock. Andrew is dressed like a self proclaimed "crayon" and Nikki is wearing her laundry day outfit. This prompts a conversation about complements. You Heard It Here First, contracts and relationships,Nikki's epiphany, anxiety is maybe attractive and enough of JLo and Ben please. In their Top1 Bottom1 they discuss guilty pleasures. In the Final Thought they talk about individual stories of 9/11 victims and the video that everyone needs to watch to be a better human. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. to tell my own story. Listen to crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity,

we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the

open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in.

It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast Here's Nikki Here I am Hey guys, welcome to the show Fresh week of the Nikki Glaser Podcast For you guys, it's Monday You know, you get a little discombobulated When there was a week

Last Monday was a holiday And then this Sunday felt like we should be raging tonight. Last night I was like, I really got used to last week being a Sunday being, God, I love a Sunday that's a Saturday. Oh, it feels good. It's like the adult version of a snow day. Yeah, I had a great weekend. I worked all weekend. But it doesn't feel like work you know

um I've said that before about this podcast I've made it so that it never feels like a burden or like oh um and this week weekend I was in Charlotte or I'm sorry I was in Orlando on on Friday and then Charlotte on Saturday uh one show Orlando, two shows in Charlotte. Orlando, I was at the Hard Rock Live, which was just a giant venue. And the crowd was just so excited and drunk. And they were blowing up the condoms that we hand out and, like, you know, tossing them in the air. Like, it was, you were at, like, a, I don't know, a Beastie Boys concert. I don't know who does the, that was just a show that I picked in my head I'm sure at Beastie

Boys shows they've blown up beach balls and pass them around that's a gentle fun thing at a concert and it is embarrassing to get hit on the head with a beach ball you don't know is coming so but there's no harm like no one gets hurt with that. But it was really fun. It was, you know, me, Anya. Anya does the theme song for the show, of course. Anya Marina, Andrew, Emil Joaquim, my assistant Jen, and my tour manager, Matt. And we just had, it was just fun. Even though we traveled on Saturday and then had two shows on Saturday night,

Charlotte was like so beautiful. And the shows there were just fun. Even though we traveled on Saturday and then had two shows on Saturday night, Charlotte was so beautiful. And the shows there were so fun. And two shows, my feet hurt so bad, though. It's weird. My feet are numb on stage. I can't feel them. And then as soon as I walk off stage, it's like, oh, my God. I have numbness in one of my toes.

Is it from heels? But that's the price you got to pay one of my toes. Is it from heels? But that's the price you got to pay for heels. Oh, it is from heels? Yeah, like, oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, my feet are all jacked up, but if I'm not wearing heels, they're fine. You know, like I'm never going to get bunion surgery because I think it would just be purely for aesthetic reasons. But yeah, I mean, you know the pain of heels, Noah, and you don't have bunions.

Like heels are fucking awful do you remember when you first started wearing heels and why it was I think it was when I did um the MTV show you know Nikki and Sarah live was the first time that I was regularly in heels for extended amounts of time, I guess. What about you? Like, do you remember? Because I don't think I, I was always doing stand up. It seemed foolish to wear heels because I didn't know what they would even go with. It seemed like it just, I never, maybe I put on a little like kitten heel for like a funeral after, if my mom was like taking us to pay less to get something to wear to grandma's funeral or something but no never like a over an inch ever before um before I was

on tv what about you I mean I was always kind of like a tomboy but I guess the first heel that I remember wearing is a jelly do you you remember those? Yes, yes. A chunky jelly heel. I was going to say that. That's probably my first heel as well. But to me, those don't cause the pain because they're such a sturdy base. You know, the chunkier the heel, this is for men that don't know, the less foot pain because you have more support on that heel. But when you have a tiny little, you know,

just a little rod that your whole heel is being put on, your body puts all the weight into your toes because it's, you know, I don't know. I don't know the physics of it or the physics of anything, to be honest with you. But that's when it starts to hurt is the tinier the heel. And it's, you know, I don't know if I thought of this originally or someone else said it, but men have never had to call it a night early or not stay somewhere that was fun because their feet

hurt. You know, and maybe, you know, if you have plantar fasciitis or you broke your foot that's it's aside from the thing but you know it footwear for women in order to look and they do look good they make you look good like when i wear a heel my leg is flexed it looks fantastic in a heel and boots really like step up an outfit they can take it an outfit that would otherwise be you know kind of plain and boring and they make it like pop and they're fun you know I used to really hate them and be like why does anyone do it but it's because it it makes you look cool and great and and it gives me confidence when I'm really tall I think I feel more like um confident and I feel dressed up and you know you dress for the job that you want and

I want to be um a child bride in the Ming dynasty apparently because my feet my toes no I do you have hammer toes I have um no I do not have hammer toes I do have like a small little bunion okay one of my that is from people always think bunions are genetic like i probably know more about bunions than most podiatrists do i've probably researched them i'm close to 10 000 hours on looking at bunion footage looking at surgery methods i could probably you know i could probably surgically uh take out a bunion because i've watched all like the instructional videos that people in med school watch. They're on YouTube.

I know pretty much everything about them, and they're not genetic. Do you know what is genetic? Everyone goes, they're hereditary, which I don't know the difference between genetic and hereditary. That's why I probably shouldn't be a surgeon at any point but they're not passed down the thing that's passed down it might be the the structure of your foot which lends itself to be more prone to bone modification like you maybe you have a wide foot that um you now your dad has bunions and my dad and I have the same feet my dad has bunions I have bunions we have the same feet. My dad has bunions. I have bunions. We have the same legs, everything. But what causes bunions is footwear.

If your foot, your foot is taking the shape of shoes that you wear. So my dad wore, had a lift in his shoe for most of his life because one of his legs was longer than the other. And some doctor was like, yeah, you got to get a lift in your foot, in your shoe. And then it came out that it was like he didn't need it but his lift in his foot and his shoe caused his foot to slam harder into the toe bed which made it into a and you know he worked for years wearing those shoes that men wore like the that make your feet into a triangle and so I have the hammer toes. So can I see your bunion, Noah? Yeah, sure. I'm really into bunions. It's actually on the photo of us from Mexico. Someone had to very conveniently point it out.

Oh, really? Yeah. Can you see it? Wait. Is it on your, is it on your, wait, no, no, no. Will you do it a little bit towards your, yeah, there we go. Oh, so it's on that side. I can't get a good look at it from my perspective, but I know that all our foot guys are enjoying that video if it ever surfaces.

Yeah, it's only going to get worse unless you make sure you can do exercises, you can do different things to help it. But bunions are not from – it's because of your footwear, you guys. I got bunions on one trip. My feet took a different shape after one trip to New York 2006 I wore flats from Old Navy that were too small because I was trying to slip into smaller shoes because it's probably you know made me feel daintier and my feet just took the shape of this little ballet flat and so I have hammer toes which makes your toe normally lays straight and mine are now clawed and they look like they're just curled up like a little scared snail.

And there's nothing you can do about them. And I'm so grateful now, though, that I have no shame about my feet. I was recently talking to someone about bunions and I was like, you know, Meghan Markle has bunions. Oprah has bunions. Paris Hilton has bunions. I don't feel bad about it. I'm just going to wear it. And I think Kerry Washington, like there are, you know, a lot of, even Jennifer Hansen, I think has a little bit of a bun. But then I went and Googled Meghan Markle's bunion

to show someone and the bitch got it fixed. She got it fixed. And I don't think it was for medical reasons. Like it's, I think it was probably for aesthetic reasons it's like girls who cares about your feet that is such an intense surgery you got to be off your feet for 12 weeks if you get them both done I think it's six for each and you can't do them both at the same time and don't write to me about lapoplasty and all the different kinds that you can get that are less invasive and when you mess with your feet you mess with everything so you're taking a huge risk. I've heard just a lot of horror stories, but I like mine now. And I'm like, if someone is grossed out by them, I'm just like, that's your problem, not mine. I love my bunions. I'm going to let them,

I'm going to let them breathe. But you know, there are times where I like, like a guy or like, I'm around a guy that I'm like, attracted to. And there's a little bit of me hiding my feet um just in case he like is he doesn't love me enough yet to see that side of me because some people are just like grossed out by feet and you know you I could argue like I don't want to be with a guy that wouldn't be turned off by my feet but like people have their things like I don't like mayonnaise and if a guy is like eating a mayonnaise sandwich I would on a first date, I would be like, you're disgusting. I'll never love you. But if I already love that person, he likes mayonnaise.

And he keeps that thing from me until I love him. I can accept it. You know what I'm saying? Thoughts? Yes. I think so. I used to pay a lot of attention to my feet as well, which is why I stopped wearing heels because I wanted the bunion to not get any worse and I realized that unless guys are really into feet and even if they are into feet they like all the you know like weird shapes and forms and stuff so it really just

didn't matter it's still in our heads like you said I love the pain that I get from my feet that I can let later have massaged out. So I enjoy the pain. Like I'm thinking about going to get a foot rub, uh, like, or a foot leg kind of massage later. And I go, you know what? I got to go for a run in some shitty shoes because I really want my shin splints to be raging when I go get it because I want it to be painful. It's just like so fucked. But I love I like pain. I don't know what's the problem with me. Let's talk about your cat. Okay. Does it have a name yet? Yes. Do you want like the story with my dad? Or do you want me to tell you the name? No, let's get the story because you were hesitant to name the cat on you wanted your dad to name the cat and tell me why okay so my dad is um as i told you is the least creative person that i know he has and what does that mean it means that he's just like very simple and he's very regimented

he's like a product on an assembly line nothing in his day ever changes he's very plain okay and okay what brings him joy uh his job i really that's a great question i don't know like does he do things for fun does he have guilty pleasures he likes to uh buy a lot of crap like um like mechanical things which is him that's a joy he's he's very mechanical he likes buying himself yes represent yeah physical representations of himself thank you yes exactly but sometimes like he's so like not creative that he has these like strokes of like creative genius so yes um you know so we get this little black kitten and I'm like, dad, we're taking suggestions for names. And I want you to name the cat.

And also I want to let everyone know that English is my dad's third language. And he goes, yeah, Romanian first, then then Hebrew and he learned English like 30 years ago when he came to this country very cool yeah okay so you and him learned it together like English together um no I learned it in school and he like I'm not sure how he learned it I think he was just forced to learn it on the job do you speak to him in english now yeah and i always did do you speak romanian at all i i understand romanian i speak a little bit of it but it's you understand clean your room and i i got a new machine today yes and work makes me feel good

about myself are those the phrases i'm going to work early and coming home very late so you'll never see me oh did we just learn everything we need to know okay everything that noah was tiptoeing around in the description of her father just came out in that sentence all right so your dad's a hard-working man english is his third language he's the least creative person you know which is a hilarious way to describe someone. All right. And you said, name this cat. Yes. And he goes, I don't know. Why don't you call him Blackie?

I was just going to say Blackie. But like, that sounds not. I know. I'm like, Dad, I cannot call my cat that. No. No. I don't think you. It's not not gonna that's politically incorrect and he but he had no idea like I literally was gonna say did he say blackie but I didn't even want to say that to even put that you know but you know the cat is black and it's it's like it's cute and you add an e to things that are cute yes boom blacky yes so i would so i like explain to him like why we're not we're not calling the cat that

but what we did decide to call him he purrs so much you start petting him and he purrs like a little motor so we're we're calling him buzzy because he buzzes when he purrs. Oh my God. That's a great name. Yeah. Buzzy. I love it. That's a great, I mean, honestly, did you come up with that though

or did your dad? No, no, no. We came up with it because we're like, we have to name him something around his purrs because it's just so cute. I love Buzzy.

I was thinking you were going to call him Purry or persian or per um per capita uh no that's so cute buzzy i've never heard that for and it reminds me of buzz aldrin yep who was you know was he the second person yeah neil armstrong and then buzz aldrin he was the second man on the moon yeah and buzz aldrin is a little kooky, which is just like the cat. A little kooky, but very sweet. He's a little kook? Is he a kook?

Buzz Aldrin? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's like known for that. He's a little off. But I mean, the guy's been in outer space and then he's come back to Earth, so. Oh, damn.

You know, he made a cameo on 30 Rock that I have to play because it was so funny i put it on my story the other day buzz aldrin was on 30 rock i did not remember this episode but um tina fey's character is talking about she's like you know 32 in the show and everyone's saying like you need to be married like you're an old. And she's just like feeling so sad about it. And, uh, she's like, you know, I'm just waiting for my astronaut. Like I want to marry a guy who's not, she has this like vision of what her man is. And they were like, that's never going to happen. And then she's talking to her mom who comes to visit, who was kind of giving her shit. And she finds out her, she's like, well, you made mom, you found

the man of your dreams. And she's like, I did. And she's like, and you love dad. And she goes, it's not your dad. It was a man that I met that we couldn't be together it turns out her mom could have been with Buzz Aldrin but she settled uh for someone else and Liz doesn't know how to handle that so she goes to visit Buzz Aldrin and he's in this weird kind of like um uh what's the the movie where the guy murders people and everything's white in that loft? American Psycho. He's in like one of those like kind of lofts in New York and she walks in to meet him

and I don't really know the context of her going to meet him, but she finds out a way to meet him. And he, I wondered if you got the fact that he's kooky from this kind of representation of him on 30 Rock. So she walks in. Dr. Aldrin, I'm sorry, there wasn't a door. So I just. I don't believe in barriers because I always break them. So she walks in. I can't help but wonder what my mom lost by giving up on you. Her perfect man.

Perfect? Sure, I'm a famous astronaut, decorated fighter pilot, doctorate from MIT. He looks good, too. But even I sometimes. He's a good actor. I see you. Now, okay, so this is, he goes, sure, I'm all these great things. And then all of a sudden he, like, looks to the side.

He gets distracted and he looks out the window. I see you. I see what you're doing. And he starts screaming out the window. Return to the night like looks to the side. He gets distracted and he looks out the window. I see you. I see what you're doing. And he starts screaming at the window. Return to the night. Return to the night. You got no business here? Are you yelling at the moon?

I'm sorry. She and I just, I get mad sometimes. Sure. He starts shouting at the moon. Return to the night. I think one of the funniest lines I've ever heard though that I posted on my story was um uh i'm i'm the breaking barriers line when i don't even know how he said that but

it's just seeing someone who's not meant to do comedy like doing a joke like that makes me laugh so hard i think that's why martha stewart always really got me on the roast she had great delivery wasn't trying to be anything other than what. Um, wasn't trying to be anything other than what she was like, wasn't trying to be a comic, you know? Um, yeah, that I, I talk about that on stage a lot about the settling thing, um, about, you know, how everyone goes, never settle. Don't just like, you know, if this guy's not good enough don't put up with it and and look for someone better um you know never settle like keep going the book that you know I talk about a lot called getting to I do says that if a guy is 51 good keep him do anything you can to make it work

before you give up unless he's physically abusive, which that then he shouldn't be 51. However, people always go, I found my soulmate. And I tell the audience, I go, you all have settled, by the way, don't tell me you didn't. And everyone goes, No. And I see them all kind of reach for each other's hands. Like I didn't settle. That's not that's not us. And I go, yes, you did. Settling, settling, it gets a bad connotation, but no matter what, who you're with, you settled. Because guess what? You didn't meet everyone you could have been with and you could have kept going. But at some point you just go,

this is probably as good as it's gonna get. And for me, I feel like I just, I never want to, I always wanna leave the option open for something better. And I think that's why Bumble and all these apps are like, there's an endless supply. And so no one wants to like actually choose someone and stick to it. But I also feel like even if you choose someone and you do find someone better, you could go be with that person if the person you're with doesn't keep up their end of the bargain.

I don't know. That's just my thought. Let's get Andrew in here. Andrew! Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics,

entertainment, sports, and more. Join by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Explore this idea in my podcast, Mini Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair.

And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. we've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions including jane lynch delaney row and cord jefferson each episode is a new person's story with new lessons new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique listen to many questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop.

Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me.

We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps.

Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world

that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition,

and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Yellow. Hello, yellow.

Mellow yellow. Dude, we got a neon sign up in this bitch that is the, when we go to video, you'll see it. But Andrew, your shirt is just as bright as the yellow sign. I honestly don't. I didn't know they could get cotton to pop this much. It's going to lose it when you wash it a little bit. Maybe I'll never wash it then. In a dark black light?

Well, I think we're both wearing badass outfits. You got the cheetah. I got the ring light. I was so annoyed that you made a comment on my outfit today and i didn't need to be but i do i'm wearing like a romper that's like has a snake skin print and it's just like i i'm only wearing this because i ran out of t-shirts like i just had to grab a romper it's it's the thing that annoys me when when you're a girl and you run your laundry goes like you run out of things to wear that you normally wear you have to pick a dress and

people go oh someone's dressed up it's like no someone's depressed and um can't do their laundry and it's all in a you know mess on my bed and it's kind of half wet and smells like mold because i left it in the washer you start to get into the walk of shame category of your of your closet you're like oh fuck this is gonna look like i wore it last night and i got fucked and i haven't showered yet no it just it people attribute i mean i know what you're saying but like people attribute you wearing a dress to like do you like someone in the office oh do you have a date later today and it's like no it's like i just have a dress on and and you and the effort that's why i don't like wearing makeup and like doing my

hair and looking like better than usual because people go oh and then it makes me feel like god i must look like shit all the other times and also the effort that went into this was like nothing like oh wait i resent when i they they credit my effort actually i like when when i put a lot of effort in and i get attention for it because then i go it makes sense i put an effort but when i just put on something that is easier honestly than putting on two separates and you go okay all right someone's like oh it's no my my thing is like like it's an innocuous comment you know what i mean like i'm just seeing it i come out of my room and you're in cheetah and usually you're in lululemon or some kind of workout outfit or like something like a taylor swift shirt it's something different it's gonna catch my eye i maybe i

shouldn't mention it but you know what no there's a cheetah in my living room i gotta say something wow that's a good one thanks um but you were your room, and I just wanted company while I ate my breakfast, and I wanted to talk about stuff that we don't talk about on the podcast and stuff. So you were sneaking in your room, and I go, are you going to take a shit? And you go, no. And I go, what's going on? Can you come out here? And you were just like, um.

And I go, what are you doing? And I don't want to have to be like, are you masturbating or whatever? Jerk off in the morning. But, and I knew that too. Like, I just,

I know your sketch for some reason on that. And. Down did a minute. I just know you're not a morning jerk off guy. It just doesn't strike me as someone that thing you do. A morning person would jerk off in the morning. You were just kind of peeking in your room and like, and it was because you were hiding this debut of this shirt yeah the highlighter shirt see i you like getting attention very close i hate it and that's why i never like getting

attention for my clothes why would you hide it huh why would you hide it because last time i dressed like a crayon i dressed i had a green hat green hat and a purple shirt. You mentioned it. So I thought it would be fun to come in with this thing, which is by far the highest colored thing I've ever worn in my life. You like when you cut your hair or something, you'll kind of

hover around me, kind of giggle a little bit, waiting for me to say something. And I'm always just like, you did something different with your looks. What is it? Or you'll be like. Does a compliment hurt you? But when you're digging for it, it's just.

I don't dig. Get out of here. Oh, Andrew. You dig. You're a digger. Oh, that sounds bad. No, I'm not. I don't dig at all.

I really don't. Like I. You dig at night when you want to look good. You want to look good. No, but I don't. I don't go like. you want to look good, you want to look good. No, but I don't go like, guys, when are you going to say something? I don't do that. And that's not because I'm better than you or something. That's not what it's about.

Maybe I want a compliment, but I would never ask for it because I would feel like it would be forcing someone to give me one. You know what I mean? I don't think I've ever asked for a compliment oh my god you did i have one i have one when do you mind i don't care we went i love that you have one ready to go no but it was just so cute because it was like it just it was really just how many ones do you have well this was why i never wanted to go see you go golfing because i just knew that i wasn't going to give you the amount of compliments that you wanted for your golfing like you keep going like come to the come to the range come see me okay maybe i have come out of my room a few times and asked you but you're the only friend i have in st louis no no no you go

we so i run i run in forest park i run and sometimes we go out at the same time at night and he goes to the golf range. And Forest Park is gigantic and I'll sometimes go run to the range and meet him on my third mile. And then we drive home and go to Whole Foods. So I ran up and I was watching his swing and trying to be like, wow, that's far. I don't know what to – you look strong when you do that. I don't know anything about golf, so I don't know what I – I don't have anything to like you look strong when you do that like i don't know anything about golf so i don't know what i could like i don't have any thing to base it off of okay really so i don't like you looking for any kind of feedback from me i don't know what you're looking to get and i'm not saying that like what do you want i just i actually want to know like what could i

say that you would feel like oh she knows what she's talking because i don't know what i'm what does it have to do with how i was dressed no it's not about how you're dressed so then we're driving home and i tried to compliment him as much as possible but i also really hate when people are waiting for you to say something like i know that you do it with guitar like with your dad you do it with your dad with guitar no it's the same thing but i tell my dad why don't you ever say anything i just want to know the reason and i'm telling you i don't say anything because i don't know anything about golf that's why i don't say anything about your swing and because the i am it's an ugly part of myself but me and my friend uh robin she has this too where she feels like sometimes uh someone that she knows will be looking for like we'll do

something kind of wait for them to say like thank you or like uh like you're the best and she's just like god i would say it but the fact that they want it makes me not want to say it it's like no one do you relate to that at all of course like when people want something you don't want to give it to them as much as if you just like yeah it's like when a comic gets off stage and they do well but they they have this look like, who's going to say? Yes. Who's going to tell me? I get that. As opposed to just like walk normally. And we know you want it, but there's a way to not look so desperate.

Here's the thing. I've worked very hard on my golf, like a ton. You've never seen me hit a golf ball ever, I think. And I don't know. Part of me was like, wow, look at this work I've done. And I value your opinion, even though you don't know about it you could say hey wow it looks like you've worked without it's not even like a big thing but i i do that all the time when you come and tell me like scores so i can understand scores like i went from this to this yeah whoa that's but when you see a ball just

fucking explode off my club like a like a rocket but the only golf i've seen is professional golf so that just looks like it looks professional i could say that okay that's great and i gave you some of those like i was like whoa like damn like i would give you like holy shit and then i don't have good eyes so i don't know where and i don't know where you're aiming so i don't know if it's and i don't know how close you're supposed to get to it that is going to be successful so like if it's so i don't i don't know that kind of stuff and i'll admit i used to have that energy getting off stage or that and i i honestly feel like and it's not just because it's just like it's maturing and i really don't like i could go and surf on my own without having

someone oh yeah you did good you did good boy although it does feel nice like there's nothing wrong with like wanting compliments or wanting to be reassured what you're doing that's why people pay trainers that's why they pay coaches that's why you pay a guitar teacher because you need someone to lie to you i was talking to someone about going back for my i know well not lie to you i hate when people lie to me but yes i know i'm just joking but yeah but you're right though like i i there's nothing i mean i did a special about it like i love compliments they they direct me in every course of my life yes but they have to come from someone whose opinion i actually value where i just didn't know that i just didn't it didn't

make sense to me that you wanted my validation for golf because i don't know anything about golf but i could have i did say the things that i thought I could give you yeah and then we were driving to Whole Foods and you go so I'm getting pretty good aren't I like you said something like that that I was just like oh like I guess I didn't give enough like you need more maybe it just felt good because how many people watch me I have my friend Jordan and I have a golf pro sometimes and at the time I wasn't but doesn't it feel less good when you've asked for it like i would never like there are a lot of comics i was talking to lisa last week where comics when i worked with her i would never go will you watch my set yeah because the comics aren't looking for criticism they're looking for you to say you're great this i love this there's something i would never ask a comic to do that because i would feel that's why i don't look

people in the eyes because i it's tricking them into laughing when they don't want to laugh. But you do like when people say you're great. Because when they do it without me asking, because if I ask, then they're doing it because I asked. And then you get upset sometimes if people say that I'm good in front of you. Oh, everyone hates that. Every comic hates that. We talk about that all the time. I know, but why?

But do you like it when someone goes to you about a meal like i think it was great i honestly would take no offense to it if he walked right past me and said a meal you were fantastic it wouldn't hurt you at all wow you're a stronger person than me i'm not trying to brag i'm not trying to like i'm just saying it's like interesting because compliments i don't know, compliments are weird. I do like, I remember. See, I don't like that not because they like you or I'm like, I'm not as good as him. That's so rude.

Because you know I'm standing right here and you could do that in a way where I don't have to hear it and it's not done. It's done to hurt me. And I hate when people do it. It's not like I'm like, yeah. That's what I'm saying. So you hate it. So you acknowledge that it's a rude thing. No, no. I hate when people say it it's not like i'm like that's what i'm saying so you hate it so you acknowledge that it's a rude thing no no i hate when people say it to me i know yeah exactly so yeah oh yeah for sure my feelings i tell them to blog about it later though but it's just it's just as like it makes me disappointed in humans i think yeah because i used to think i took it

personally now i take it probably 10 personally and i'm like i suck i should be more like andrew to get that person to like me. And then the other 90% of me has all the other reasonings for it of like, they're just a rude person. Something I said triggered them. They wanted to, it often happens with women where they're like, there's something they didn't like about me. And they go, like this girl this weekend.

She goes, can I be honest? Can I be like, oh no. What did she say she say she goes wait i'm just gonna tell the truth i'm just gonna can i just tell the truth it was one of the girls we met in um orlando oh and she was like lovely to us up into this point she was like i stayed for your show i'm a huge fan i was like oh my god i found out nikki glacier was gonna be here i'm staying for the show she worked there if you're listening z shout out you were beautiful and i wanted your approval so much because you're so glaciers are falling apart who knows how long you'll be here yeah that's it's getting hot it's 90 degrees and uh she was like very lovely and she was like you know i work in this venue i never stay for shows but when i found out nikki glacier was here i was like i love her i'm staying

she was very complimentary and then she said to a meal in the elevator, like you were, Oh, he was great. And I thought that was kind of rude. Cause you were there. And I was like, Oh,

that sucks. But I don't think you heard it. Cause you were talking to someone. Then we get to the meet and greet and she's standing there too. And then she kind of goes, wait, can I just be honest? Can I just like,

no lie? Like you were, she says to me, you were great. But like you, and then she pointed out, she was like, he was funny. Like, he was funny. To who? You.

And it was like, we don't need that. Like, why can't everyone be? It's not a competition. I mean, it's human nature to do that. We always do that. But in front of people? Oh, no. I think it's terrible.

People have no empathy. Like, if you were in a position where you were, like, you know, your coworkers, and someone said that to you, like, people just don't... Do you think it's also humility? Just, like, with accepting and giving compliments, humility has something to do with it? Well, the recipient is kind of, like,

not a part of this complaint that I have. Like, it doesn't... What do you say? Oh, sorry. sorry so I'm sorry so going back to receiving compliments and giving compliments a person who is humble would not be expecting the compliment but would probably receive it well and then a person like the person that you interacted with at the show is someone also who could use a little bit more humility to not say something like that i think it's i don't because i gave her compliments too because i was like you look like jamie lynn ziggler do you ever get that meadow from the sopranos and she was like i do

get that it hasn't happened in a while then she revealed to us that she was like i actually i gotta get home to my she was like i have kids and she goes i have a 24 year old and i go boyfriend she goes son and i was like what the fuck did you have a baby when you were two and then we joke that she tells everyone that so because everyone has that reaction yeah i mean i have a 700 year old son yeah we started being like my son is older than me my son died of old age and i'm just because this woman was so young looking that it is no one would ever respond to her having a 24 year old son and go oh that makes sense yeah they'd all go what because she was beautiful

but it's more about just have empathy like do unto others i guess like how would you feel if you imagine that you were in maybe you can't imagine being a community you know what it is honestly i do think that i just didn't get it from my parents at all growing up like when i did well in sports because they weren't at the game or whatever i remember like in like ninth grade i i made a great hit on there was a punt return and i destroyed this kid like destroyed like unbelievable hit and one of my friend's dads was driving us home and he goes hey man hey andrew i saw that hit that was great and it just felt so amazing to get like a parent to say i was good yeah and so then the whole car ride i kept having to explain how it looked like yeah like so needy i was just like i was like so what did it look like how did did I hit him? Like, how did he fly?

Did he fly, like, far? Did he fly, like? Cutie. I know, but that's, like, that. So I think I obviously still have that because I want someone to say I'm good. Yeah, I love compliments, too. And I got too many of them from my parents, and I didn't. When you didn't think you deserved them?

Well, my therapist, Donna Donna when I was like felt really ugly my dad would always say I was like beautiful breathtaking oh my god the the thing I hated more about myself than anything was that my hair was frizzy and back when you know straight sleek Jennifer Aniston like bone straight hair was in like I hated having cowlicks and like when I put up my hair I just wanted to be all slick like kirsten's i didn't want these like little pieces that never grow to be coming out like i hated it my dad was always just like you're so beautiful you could be a model and i just it it just wasn't it wasn't yeah my my therapist donna was like you just you were lied to you weren't cute and like your parents lied to you so you don't trust anyone when they actually give you compliments because you think it's just they're they're trying to be nice or or they the

thing is my dad did think i was beautiful but it's because i was his daughter you know it's like it it you and you can go no nikki you were beautiful but it's like not in the way i my feelings weren't validated that i felt ugly and then like you can tell a child they're beautiful all the time but if a child feels ugly you don't need to say yeah you're ugly that's valid but you can say i've you know it's it's so sad to feel that way about yourself let's talk about it as opposed to like just stop it you're beautiful and it's just like that doesn't that doesn't change some people feel like i feel like they take it in and they go they go through life thinking they're beautiful because everyone is beautiful

in their own way. Schumer has a great joke about it that her parents, she was so beautiful and then she went into kindergarten and she was like, hey guys, and she like walked in like,

everyone get in line to meet me and she had like curly bangs and a Cats the Musical sweatshirt and she's like, you're welcome, I'm here and they're like, gross.

And it was like, yeah, like it can go either way. And I just want to say like, you're welcome. I'm here. And they're like, gross. And it was like, yeah, it can go either way. And I just want to say, there's no judgment of the cheetah outfit. If you want to rock Leopard tomorrow, there's never, I don't want you. No, I don't feel judgment. I look amazing. But it's like, it just, I just think it's a funny thing when guys compliment the thing that you're doing because you ran out of underwear. It'd be like if I was wearing a bathing suit and you're like, hello.

And I'm like, no, I shit in everything else. Like, it doesn't mean that I'm not like a fancier woman today. I'm actually ironically so much more gross than you think I am because I'm wearing a ball gown. It's all I have left. It is fashion week. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Fashion. Let's get to the news. I had so much more to get to, but I feel like that was a good segment talking about compliments. Yeah, that was fun. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first.

Yeah, you heard it here first. You, boy, I hope you had a great weekend out there. Apparently we did, if you look at our pictures on Instagram there. I hope you had all the swells. Yeah, we took a lot of, there's a lot of, on of um there's a lot of on instagram there's a lot of jugs of water yeah pitchers pitchers i think you said calyx i think

you said calyx wrong calyx how do you say it calyx how do you say it noah oh i think i say colic oh wait no colics whoa yeah i think it could be pronounced that way, too. I think it's like caramel and caramal. How do you say it? You have caramel in your hair most days. I say cowlick. I don't know. How do you say caramel or caramel?

Caramel. Really? Yeah, I say caramel. Whoa. I don't put the A. I say caramel. Caramelcorn. Oh, weird.

You're going to have bad caramel for how you say that okay so here we go the way and this one's really small all right a 21 year old creates a 17 page relationship contract for her boyfriend two weeks after the first date how'd she get him to be her boyfriend contract did he sign it how did this get out did she say he brought it up according to the article he said he wanted a he wanted a contract no they want to he wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend oh he was the one okay well no well no she got burnt a lot in her past relationship i'm sure she told the guy he said i want to be your boyfriend she goes okay well now you're gonna have to let's hear let's hear what this 21-year-old has in her contract.

Well, it came with four objectives. Honesty, awareness of your partner's needs, clear communication, and alignment in both parties' intentions. I mean, Noah, these little Gen Zers know what's up. I mean, this girl, I don't disagree with any of this yet. Go on. I mean, essentially, she wants her boyfriend to be romantic, give romantic gestures at least once every two weeks. Not crazy.

No, that's not bad. And to work out at least five times a week alone. Again, you're asking for the compliment. You're asking for the thing. If you ask for it, if you tell your boyfriend you're not being romantic enough and then he comes home with flowers that day, there's a little bit of you that's like you only fucking did this because i told you to and there's like i don't you know it's that jennifer aniston line in the breakup where it's like i he's like i'll do the dishes i'll do the dishes and she's like i want you to

want to do the dishes and he's like why would i want to do the dishes and it's like because you think of me beyond you you think of what might make me happy before like it's not about wanting to do the dish it's not about wanting to get flowers like he likes buying flowers he likes making doing something that will make me feel good i do think though if you get a lot of compliments in your life you tend to stop needing them or some people still need no sometimes i mean models are the most insecure people ever and a lot of times models don't get any compliments because people think they get compliments all the time it's the bystander effect which someone had written to me the

kitty genevieve story is completely um false and like uh not what but it was um but you know the kitty genevieve story that girl that was murdered in brooklyn oh yeah all the people witnessed apparently all or the old story goes all these people witnessed it no one called the cops because everyone said someone else is doing it yeah it happens to me all the time when i'm a model though that's a good point she was very might have been ugly oh she was never mind yeah but um she uh no whenever i'm on tv for something and sometimes the things air that i don't know are on or someone will bring me up like you know rogan will talk about me on a podcast or Bert Kreischer. Someone will mention me, say something nice.

I get one person going, I'm sure a million people have written to you about this, but you were on blah, blah, blah. And I go, you were the only one because everyone else thought that everyone was bothering me about it. So I get. Yeah. So. So just if you do see me on something, please tell me, because I will. But she's not asking. No, I am asking.

Oh, I know. And it's not about a compliment. You don't have to say I looked pretty. Just tell me I'm on it so I can post about it, you know? Now, do you think this contract, I mean, romance should not have, I mean, granted, when you get married, you get the government involved.

It is a contract eventually. But this early on, it just feels like it takes away the, That's what I'm saying. It's like um so like nice to meet it's you know it's like leave the business at home at work the word contract does suck some of the romance out of it but let me say like these are things that you need you need to actually have these things figured out before you enter into a relationship and you should you should know that a relationship is a lot to ask of both parties you're going to close yourself off to other opportunities shut down a portion of your life where you could be open to meeting someone if you're looking to get married and have kids you know time is of the essence especially as a woman and if you're going to devote your time to one person and cultivating a relationship you better

know for damn sure that that person at least has the things in mind that are going to make you happy so yeah having a contract is a little much but i think it's more for clicks than anything yeah and i think that you know the fact that we know about this means this person knows how to work social media in a way that is you know makes things sticky and also 17 pages i mean i hope it was Courier New and Triple Space. Yeah. I mean, that's – but all the things she's asking for, like, I don't know. When I go on dates now or look into dating someone, I want to know what are their thoughts on marriage? What are their – Do you have five questions that you would – what are your top five or top three?

I really like asking someone if I asked your ex-girlfriends what would be the number one thing that they would complain about you in a relationship. And I'll share mine, too, as honestly as I can. And write down their number for references. I like to, you know, you can't really ask someone, do you lie? But you can get a sense of their how honest they are just by kind of how um like i was out with someone recently and they had told a a story and this is just like a friend but it just showed me who they told a story where they lied to someone just to get out of a thing that they didn't want to do with this person but it was just an innocuous like i'm not feeling well but it was really about they didn't want to

go and i'm like just say you don't want to go like you don't have to now you lied and said you're sick so then they're going to follow up and ask how you're feeling and then this and the person eventually revealed to me i got busted i for lying like about it like later on it came back this thing that i thought they'd never check up on it came back that i lied and then it's way worse and it's just you're entitled to not want to go do something. Like, it doesn't mean that you hate the person. The person, if they take it personally, that's their problem. And you can say it in a gentle way. So things like that, I test for like honesty.

Kids, do you want kids? Is that a deal breaker for you? Because I'm not sure. Now that's when I kind of push because I feel. Push for later on? Yeah, I feel scared that. It's a bit serious for me. I get so scared.

Yeah. Well, it wouldn't be if you really knew you wanted kids yeah like for sure you should know that a girl that you are seeing doesn't want that ever no i feel bad too because i i i want someone to be inquisitive and ask me questions and try to figure out like what they're kind of getting into but at the same time you just don't want to feel like there's a there's a like a checklist going on of like you know what you're doing how well are you doing it just feels very like no what do you think about the kids question because for me i i am on the fence about it which is a perfect answer because i could go either way if someone doesn't want them or wants them. However, I am 37.

Yeah. I think it's cool to be totally fluid with that and, you know, to not even have a set answer because I was always like, I don't want kids. I don't want kids. And then I met a person who I really love and care about. And then I was like,

Oh, okay. I think I really want to have kids now. This is weird. So I think it's fluid to be fluid with it. However, that's you though. There are some people that know they don't want kids. Like very definitively.

I didn't want kids up until like third of. Okay, that's a good point. All right, all right. Did it change too when you moved to Arizona? I'm not like from Arizona, from New York. I feel like when people live in New York, the feeling of wanting is like. It's dreadful.

I feel like I have to get. Yeah, get them in school. I got to pay 9 million just so they get a look. a i'm gonna be one of those women like on the train who like if you're not cute enough no one will help you with your fucking baby thing and then the baby's crying and everyone fucking hates you and like oh god yeah how am i gonna get through the turnstile with the baby carriage everything is just times a million in a big city yeah that's a good point did it change for you noah moving out to the west i think it definitely encouraged me to absolutely yeah a hundred percent i couldn't imagine yeah having dogs when i was in la i mean

i don't mean to make the but it was just so it was a non-starter i mean it was not a non-starter it was a it was a no-brainer i was like of course get a dog i want a dog I have a yard it's nice outside all the time and then moving to New York I was like this is fucking hell well you live it's hard enough to walk up transportation is huh remember when Nikki lives in that five flight walk up and having to take Mary oh yeah it was brutal and it never occurred to me in getting a dog out west that that would ever be a there would be a scenario where the dog would be such a burden but now that's my hesitancy with kids is like i don't with covid no one knew no parents knew that they would have to be around their kids 24 hours a day like we didn't know that they're sure they were like war and like apocalyptic things that could happen but nothing like covid no parents

signed up for having to do that and i really my heart goes out to so many parents that had to homeschool their kids and be around them so much especially moms that you know the dad was able to be out and like you know just working from home with kids it's i mean no one knew that when they signed up for kids and that was me moving to new york was my covid kind of was like shit my brother i asked him about that i was like does it suck that you can't go to y'all and he actually i don't know i mean who knows if he's lying or not but no i'm just kidding but like he said he he liked the fact that he got to spend more time like some

people but they have nannies but they have nanny yeah yeah if nannies yeah but a lot of people have nannies that you still have to be with the kids i understand that but yes if you don't have any help it sucks and you live in a two bedroom apartment and you have three kids and you have a husband yeah you're already making minimum wage and now you're both out of work like fuck dude the kids are supposed to usually be in school all like school is a huge it's a babysitter school um so yeah i i don't know yeah um but deal breakers in terms of stuff there's it's it's interesting i i'm you know in dating and realizing like is it worth it to me to put up with the stuff that i don't want to put up with in order to have someone who will be around and be like my person like is relationships is it worth it because it's a huge sacrifice to

be in a relationship. You lose so much. You have to give so much. For kids or just relationship at all? No, in a relationship. I think it's just everyone thinks, I always just wanted a boyfriend and thought that's an easier life, but it isn't always. I really now going into it realize I've been fine single most of my life.

I'm really happy. And so you really got to make my life better in order for me to put up with all the bullshit that comes along with a relationship because no relationships are going to be perfect you're going to hate that person at times you're going to want to scream and yell at that person you're not going to want to go to the thing that that person has to bring their spouse or their partner to because you want to go do your thing but you have to put them first it's like there's a lot of sacrifice to regularly fuck someone and have someone be there to call the electrician

or whatever you need a partner for. You could always add an addendum to the contract, I guess. Yeah. You know, like, oh, I didn't even know I was going to hate this about you. I mean, I bet it's the article 14. I bet that girl's going to add some stuff. What's the next story?

Research reveals that anxiety makes people more attractive because anxious individuals appear nicer, more engaging, more interesting, more conversational, have an alluring voile tone, all of which increase desirability. What was that word? I don't know. Alluring. Oh, vocal. I think it might be a typo.

V-O-A-L. Vocal? Oh, yeah. You left out the C. Oh, that's my bad. Made me look be a typo. V-O-A-L. Oh, yeah. You left out the C. Oh, close my tongue. Made me look like a fucking idiot. Okay, that makes sense. But I would say that stupid people are more attracted to people with anxiety.

Because if you're anxious and a people pleaser and want everyone to like you and you're constantly worried about things. So you're like, I'm more engaging and I'll tell a funny story and ask you about your day because i'm so nervous about this and you well jimmy fallon it's done from a place of you don't like yourself and the people that are just like can keep to themselves and just know that they're okay alone are maybe less attractive because they seem standoffish but it's because they don't desperately need approval from others or you know they're complete already a partner might like increase their life but like they're not going to attract as many people i would guess because i think i mean we know the general public is easily duped we've seen it with like you know

politics uh just you know social media how it's made people like people can Fox News. People can be brainwashed so easily. So, of course, someone who suffers with anxiety and has learned to put on a mask. Yeah. And and kind of mask mask their anxiety with friendliness is going to be more attractive. I guess it is nice to know, like, if I'm going out on a first date i i i don't go because i'm too nervous i get too nervous like it's a negative thing like it is kind of nice to see it as a positive you know you kind of flip the script it's like when i have add and you read a book on add and you're like well

you're not good at this but this is good or like when you have anxiety before you go on stage and maybe it makes you more magnetic because there's more energy inside of you so if you go to dinner just like i essentially i hope this article you'll read it and you won't avoid things because you get nervous. You know what I mean? Right. Like, I don't, that's the thing about dating that, you know, most people suffer with anxiety.

It's like more common than not having anxiety. You used to be anxious about the end of a date. I was, I'm anxious about the whole thing because like, it's just, I feel like I, um, I will want to get away from that person and I will feel, I will start resenting them because now they've wasted my time and I'm sitting across from this person who duped me into being here and I could be doing anything else. And now I have to be like, and then I get mad at them. And then at the end, I feel like they want to do something physically with me that I

don't want to do, but they bought me dinner. So they'll be mad at me and they'll think I'm a tease. And that's just, it's anxiety. So I would just wouldn't go on dates. And then I watched that show dating around, which I've referenced before on this show. And that show really changed my perception of dating of like the thing I've said before, you're not unique, Nikkiki that you don't like dating it's awkward it's not fun it's like it's nerve-wracking it's it's scary do you find the

more you do it the less so i just i don't i'm i'm tired of telling myself this narrative of like you're special you don't like dating i don't like dating so i'm not gonna do it it's like you're not special stop it with this like no it's not for me i'm like different than most people i can't date no everyone doesn't like it just do it bitch it's like it's and and find something you like about it yeah you know do you find doing it more though that you find that you you can oh yeah whenever i go on one i go i could do this again and again and again it's so interesting it's it i i all it takes is one time on so many things it's so fucking weird, dude. I will say now that what you just said has completely changed how I've – yesterday I had an epiphany that I want to share.

So I've been wanting to – I quit smoking pot a little over a month ago, and there's times where I just have this voice that's like, I want to smoke pot. I just like, oh, I voice that's like, I want to smoke pot. Like I just like, oh, I want to feel something. I want to feel high. And I don't do it. Last night I said it to you.

I would go, God, I want to smoke pot. I'm glad you share that with me. And you go, don't do it. And I go, no, I'm not going to do it. I just want to say that that feeling, I need to mark those feelings when it goes, Nikki, go grab a bowl. Because that used to happen to me, you know, a hundred times a day. And I would, like, smoke, take a hundred hits a day probably sometimes on a bad day, sometimes a good day. But so I'm verbalizing it now.

It happened on Saturday night, too, after the second show. I was just like, I want to smoke pot now. And I used to think that feeling was truly, like, I want to feel high. Like, I want to get, I want to, like was truly like, I want to feel high. Like I want to get, I want to like loosen up. I want to feel good. Like it was me desiring feeling a fun feeling, right? Which there's something to that, but what it really is. And I realized this yesterday, even though I have dealt with so many addictions, read so many things about recovery, I've never put this, these two together is that the, I'm, I know that it's trying to escape a feeling. I've always known that, but I really, yesterday when I said it

and you go, don't, but don't. And I go, no, I'm not going to. I just want to acknowledge that there's something about this moment that makes, I'm feeling something right now that I want to get away from. What am I feeling? What is it? So I kind of like sat with it and I'm like, holy shit. Wait a second. What? What if being high, like the excitement of being high of like, what's this going to be like? Am I going to like feel paranoid?

Am I going to like, are sounds going to sound cooler? Is it going to like, when you get high, you kind of don't know what's going to happen. And that's kind of the fun of it. It's like you're in a video game. Yeah. So I thought about that for whatever feeling that was coming through i'm like wait a second get high off this feeling like get excited about the mystery that is this feeling that you're trying to subdue so get high off your own supply like

i've never gotten high on my feelings i think that feelings for me are like a dmt like a drug that i want to try but i'm too scared to do i see see what you're saying. Or like Coke or like drugs I've avoided. You want to numb them. Yeah. I've just been like, I don't want to try that drug. Like, not for me yet. I'm too scared. Like DMT, I might like meet the devil and he'll like tell me that, you know, like I

just don't want to feel like whatever Megan Fox said about doing DMT, like she died and was being tortured for eternity, but then it was like freed her. I'm like, that sounds great. It's a little much. But I don't, I i'm scared of it even though i want to do it so anyway i've decided now that like the feeling is my drug and i have never done those drugs before i've never like gone on the roller coaster that might be like a wave of sadness or a wave of anxiety or a wave of like fuck and so i just like went in this room and like played some songs that would help me like get into those feelings. And I kind of just like, I just like felt it.

And I didn't get, I didn't like get high. But I like micro-dosed that feeling. So now I'm very excited about when I want to get stoned. To not do it. To not do it. Because then I get to try the, now i get to i'm restructuring it in my brain where it's like my feelings are the drug now that i've never done that drug i get a new drug that i've never done well you get to see what's behind that door that you've been closing

with weed and it could be an awesome fucking drug or it could be a little easy and it might be both you know some people do lsd and they have the worst trip and sometimes they have great ones so like the the feelings might lead to something so cool so now i'm getting high off my own supply like i i i'm not sober like i i don't like the idea of being like i do nothing like my feelings can take me on a fucking trip if i let them and i want to like try to do those drugs now so if that helps anyone out there when you want to like grab the bag of food or you want to cut yourself or you want to go take a nap to avoid your feelings or whatever you do to escape, maybe look at the feeling as the drug or the exciting unknown. And maybe that will work for you too because it worked for me yesterday. Let's take a quick break and we'll get back to Why Do I Care. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show,

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What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends,

EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him.

Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses.

But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with

top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Why do I care? Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Why do I care? All right, Andrew, why do I care?

I ask myself that every day, even when we don't do this show. Yeah? No. No, you ask me, am I getting pretty good at golf, Nikki? Look, it was one time. Okay, Billie Eilish apparently shades Jennifer Lopez at the 2021 VMAs in a disc caught on camera. As Jenny from the block made an appearance at Sunday night's VMAs, she received cheers and claps from the audience as Billie Eilish sat still.

Billie was in her own head. Billie's very anxious. There's no way Billie has thrown shade at anyone. If you saw her documentary, she is a sweet girl. She is a huge Justin Bieber fan. She doesn't think she's cooler than anyone. Haven't we heard nightmares about JLo? We've heard that she can...

No, I've heard both great things and bad things. So I don't trust either of them. And I'm guessing she's just a person that has different sides to herself. But I've heard she can be really lovely to people and like so apparently they've met each other before so what happened was everyone's clapping and billy just goes like this yeah i mean i mean it's obviously ridiculous that we're even talking about it but it's no i, I actually do care about this. Okay, so it's a reaction shot, and she's not applauding. I can't really see it that well. Not smiling, very stiff.

You know, when you've got a camera in your face for a two-and-a-half, three-hour show, and your reaction is being recorded to everything, there comes a point where you are exhausted from clapping and smiling, and you're maybe thinking about the fact that you didn't just win an award or the fact that you just performed and you forgot one of the lines. That's the face you make.

There's a story about a comedian who did a roast. Now, what if it was intentional? It's just, I mean... What if it comes out that J-Lo, like, you know, talked shit or, like, was mean to her in the past well then good she should sit there stoically but i just don't think that that was what was happening and i think people want to read into stuff yeah um i do think though that there's this one to give you an example of when this has happened before there um there's uh like with not even within the comedy community i just know about it as a roaster

that i learned when you get done with your set no matter how it goes be animated the rest of the show because they're gonna edit your set to look like you killed no matter what so just look like you killed like have a good time afterwards you're sitting there you're still on stage have good reactions because there's someone who bombed their set. And you would never know it because they made it look like this person killed. But you can tell that they bombed because the rest of the show, you can see them in the background just like this. You look so much like the person that I already know you're talking about. And that's why it's such a good impression.

It's a really good impression. Eyes darting around, you know, leg shaking, all the things you do when you're flipping out. And I've been that person. When I did, I would always go first on the roast, on the Alec Baldwin roast. I forgot two of the

jokes that I wanted to do so badly. And you're up on stage. And I was sobbing after the show but during the show I tucked that away and I looked like I was having the best time but there were moments where I did catch myself I do it on to tell the truth that tv show sometimes I'll see that and I'll forget there's I'll forget I'm on camera and I'll just look like my face like it's gonna like dad yeah where I'm just like thinking about like what am i gonna eat later or like oh i wonder if i'm gonna get out of here in time to like go to that set and like

you know your mind wonders you forget there's a camera on you it's reality tv almost because you just you no matter how much you know what camera's on you you can't keep it up it's exhausting to keep up like there's also something to her behavior of being like, okay, I don't need to give it up fucking 55 times where she doesn't need the compliments that maybe I need. You know what I mean? And listen, she's getting a lot more press today because she didn't clap than if she did. So no one's clapping next year.

Good on you, Billie. The VMAs are going to be silent. I will say I am so over J-Lo and Ben Affleck. I think it is, when they like appeared together at whatever the fuck they got on the car for. And their slow motion like, you know, drone shots of them embracing. And it's like they're back together. And just her walking down a hallway thinking she looks like badass. There's a video today of her like looking just amazing.

And she's just like kind of catwalking backstage. It's just like I'm catwalking backstage it's just like i'm so tired of people thinking they're cool like i know you look amazing and it's hard not to like walk like that when you're wearing these shoes with this amazing outfit and sometimes i i feel that way too where i'm like i look fucking great it's it'd be embarrassing to walk like a normal person but just i think j-lo's care yeah all celebrities are i think everyone's good have you seen the outfits at the vma's what everyone's wearing they're the most absurd outfits ever i am so i that's why i say that wearing a highlighter that's fun but if you think you're

cool and you like have this air of like your purse slip and like you're better than people and you're so serious you're wearing a an outfit that was made for you because you're famous and because that person not because they like you but because you are famous and that person wants to be famous too it's all based on bullshit and i'm just like i'm as much as i you know so maybe billy thinks she's care and that thinks jayla's care yeah well maybe she's right and by the way jayla's's K, Ben Affleck's K. Everyone who thinks they're sweet because they're famous is K. And I have been that

person before too. I have been K too. But celebrities are not more special than you. They just aren't. They were talented at a thing that they just have one talent. And some of them don't even have that. They're just beautiful. And it's like

it's just this the met gala is my biggest oh my biggest we go to it and interview people no we would never i'll never get to go um i would go if i got invited and i i do the whole thing what would you wear on the red carpet i would like you know look like very like serious and like my lips would be puckered like i was like you know i would look i would take it very seriously and stand in a way that's like i'm i you know we all act like we're like fucking a mall clooney when we put on an outfit that's tight it's like you've done nothing for the world angelina jolie she's actually done stuff that she deserves to stand on a red carpet and we should all praise her. She does movies just for the money. Do you know that?

Which I actually respect. Just for the money? Yeah. Just so that she can do more work on refugee missions and go to places and get the word out. She just wrote a book. She's actually a good fucking person. And everyone else in Hollywood, including myself at times, you're all sad. And what's important to you unless it is mostly

yourself and i still worship celebrities but the j-lo thing it kind of that really all i could think of was like why does anyone care about this do you and the thing is i do i do i care because it's bullshit and i see it so clearly now, but I'm still, if I met Ben and J-Lo, I'd be like, you guys are amazing. You're so beautiful. And I would give them

everything they wanted. So I take, I'm a hypocrite through and through, but they just aren't better than us. I know that. Even though they just have better doctors that give them,

you know, things that you and I cannot afford. The Jeff Bezos pill. Okay. Let's get to our Monday segment. It's top one, bottom one. Today's category is guilty pleasures.

Guilty pleasures. Your favorite guilty pleasure and your least favorite. I'm reluctant to even share my least favorite because I don't believe that you should be guilty about anything that brings you pleasure unless it hurts someone. Yeah, I'm with you on that. But, you know, let's go in.

Andrew, do you have yours ready? I mean, mine's pretty simple. Your least favorite guilty pleasure. Yeah, my least favorite. I know it's almost hack at this point. Biting my nails. I'm 41. I've done it for 30 years probably.

I just need to stop. And every time I get done and i don't even know where i'm i'm in a trance maybe try the feeling yeah i know that high of not doing it which i did feel when covid first came out i didn't bite my nails and i was so proud of myself when covid first dropped yo when covid came out of the closet and said hey i'm here oh my god okay so so when covid came out why why you weren't biting your nails? Tell me how. Yeah, because I was in Brooklyn. People were in, like, there was drive-up truck morgues.

I was worried I was... Oh, so you were worried you were going to get it. Yeah, so I didn't bite my nails because they said it's on your hands. Tell me the feeling you have right before you go for a bite. Like, it's anxiety for sure. A lot of times I'll bite three fingers and still didn't even know I bit them until I look at them and they're bleeding. And I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, yeah when I see you doing it I know something is going on um like you're trying and you catch me picking it like that's I mean I'll do mine

now right now too my guilty pleasure is picking at this thing on my knee which I've been picking at all day today because it just and the other day Andrew goes you're picking and I go I know and he goes do you want to be and I go yeah I do want to be like i need to do this like i why don't we try this this week no picking the knee no biting and we'll check in next week and see how we do i need to put a band-aid on it then i'll put i got i got maderma it's not i got the maderna no i got the maderma which is the scar gel because i have a huge scar from this picking this but it just there's something about taking away and my my cuticles too dude i i read this one is just when they get dry i want to just peel it peeling them off when they're dry i hate blood i don't want to make blood i always just want it to be dry underneath and it's i you know

on reddit i just came across a thing about this girl posted before and after she stopped picking her face. And she said that she was able to do it by not looking in the mirror, getting rid of all her picking tools. So you need to get rid of your teeth. I'm trying. I'm close. Apparently, there's a lot of,

there's a supplement that you can take that'll help you with your picking problems. And I'll save it for Reddit dump tomorrow. But I screenshotted it to send it to carlisle because carlisle's talked about her trichotillomania which is you pull out your hair and you twist it and you like do different things with it and so many people have that so i thought that was a music festival miley cyrus is headlining Trick or Toll-O-Mania 2021. It's in... Where would it be? It'd be somewhere in Idaho

underneath a mountain. Yeah. Oh my God. Ham drip. Okay, so... Yeah, that's my guilty pleasure is picking things. I love picking dry things.

So let's do that. So let's try. I'll do it if you do it. Okay, besties who pick. Yes, besties pick Bite Nails or Trick or Toll-O- So let's try. I'll do it if you do it. Okay, besties who pick. Yes, besties pick, bite nails or trick up to a mania. When you want to go do it, like if you catch yourself doing it, it's okay, but

just see what happens if you try to stop or you like put gloves on. Do something that'll like, because I'm going to put a band-aid on this because if I have a band-aid on it or pants, I can't, you know. However, I do think that is just putting a band-Aid on the problem, literally and figuratively.

It's more than that, but it is going to feel the feeling that comes up. What is it? Can I borrow some of your clear nail polish to put on? Do you have clear nail polish? I would love to paint your nails, not clear nail polish. Oh, my God. Maybe I will. Maybe that will make me not bite them.

Okay. Noah, what's your least favorite guilty pleasure? Well, I don't know if I would say it's my least favorite guilty pleasure, but it's very like a misunderstood guilty pleasure. And it's my love of wrestling and watching wrestling. That's what trickle mania sounds like. Yeah, that does. Sounds like WrestleMania.

That's so funny. Just trick each other. So your love of wrestling, like WWE. WWE. There's other organizations that have, just like the sports entertainment theater. I love it so much. It makes me so happy. And who in your life doesn't understand?

Is it something you feel embarrassed about because it's just like this is why she moved to arizona it's yeah isolating to follow and be around other people does avi like it he doesn't mind it but he doesn't get as excited i mean i'm like jumping up and down on the couch like i i get really really into it yeah i. Yeah, I love that though. I love that, like, finding something that you love so much that brings out a childlike enthusiasm in you that you know most adults don't enjoy as much as you. And I started watching it at 35, like age 35.

Whoa. Wait, whoa. Oh my God, I didn't know that. So you got into it late? So late. I just... What got you you into it i think it was just like um so there was this uh tag team or actually it was like a three like three guys called um new day and they were all about like the power of positivity and they did like these dances and everything i just just, I love the whole gimmick. And I was watching SummerSlam. There was this like romantic storyline

and I was just like, this is so entertaining. I need to find out what happens next. So I just watched it. I kept watching and I got so into it. And then going to wrestling shows, there's just this like very welcoming and accepting environment of all sorts of people. And-

I love it. What's different than watching, like being into going to see musicals or any kind of live dramatic performance? I would say it's similar, except with violence. I would say the only difference is people try to say it's real and then people don't say musicals are real. I don't think people do.

See, okay, that's what irks me. The whole real thing. That's the rub is that everyone thinks I don't think people do. I don't think people do. See, okay, that's what irks me. The whole real thing. That's the rub is that everyone thinks that they are claiming it to be real when no one's ever claimed it. People that don't know don't assume that the people that like it think it's real. But the people that like it know that these people are – children think it's real just like children think TV shows are real. If we put out a poll, I think more adults go – they might not say it's real, just like children think TV shows are real. If we put out a poll, I think more adults go,

they might not say it's real fighting, but they'll say the pain's real. Because it is. The pain's real, the struggle's real. The theatrics are real. But as much as Keanu Reeves is really Neo, he does train and does know how to do a lot of things that most people don't know how to do stunts-wise. But he's not Neo.

And I think, Noah, this is Neo. Like, and I think Noah, you're, this is the thing about wrestling that I always rolled my eyes out is I, I assumed wrestling fans thought it was real. The truth is people who aren't wrestling fans think that wrestling fans think it's real. They are in on the joke too. Is that correct? Yes.

I mean, for me personally, I just appreciate the fact that they can, um, like last for these matches for like almost an hour. They, uh, have to be like funny on the fly and like,

or like, or like improvise these promos and stuff. So it just like, I just appreciate the effort that it takes to be, um, a good wrestler. And it's a lot more than just a script. I would almost go back to the J-Lo thing

and say that like that is theatrical as well. Like this person is clearly like a mom who wears sweatpants and works out to have that body and there's so much behind the scenes that you don't see and then she's on a red carpet and it's all like, you know, it's improvising that you're a queen and we can say she's a queen, but she's not royalty, but we are treating these

people ben and her like and i don't even think that you know royalty is really anything it's just a but every vmas act i feel the same way like i really almost everyone they're all wearing like the most absurd things it's fun though that's why the vmas are i know i know but i'm saying though jayla is doing that saying. She wasn't doing anything absurd. Or to me at least. It wasn't, it's not about her outfits. It's about the way she walks and like just this, like there's just the, just the way that they move where it's just like you think you're a princess.

It's a persona. You're just a person. Yeah, persona. And you know what? I take on that as well sometimes. But I just want you to admit it. You know, like it's like the comedians we talked about that they'll be off stage and they're talking normally and then they get on stage and they're doing this voice and it's just like

just admit you do a voice it's okay it's you're performing but j-lo you admit don't maybe she would admit it if you talk to her i don't know i'm just saying i'm not trying to play devil's advocate but maybe she's aware i mean a lot of these people remember we were talking about on instagram when they make these the most cheesy most absurd instagram posts where they're squatting down and they're looking and then if you ask them they go yeah i know i look like a dickhead but this is gets reaction i yeah i but that to me playing off of people but you're putting that out there because you think that people are going to perceive that as you're cool. So that's kuh.

Whereas if you just go, I'm doing this thing because it obviously makes my leg look better. That's why, you know, Bo Burnham is the anti-kuh. And I kind of float more into his direction where if I do something self-serving, I need to call it out. I need to be like, guys, my legs are painted tonight. That's why they look good. I have to tell you, I have makeup on. That's why I look hot. I learned to stand this way.

I'm not actually anything that you think. I got F. Boy Island season two. That doesn't mean I'm happy. But you still do get the compliments, though. Yeah, but I want to tell them. You take away the smoke and mirrors, but they're still, you look hot. You know what I mean? So it's like a weird balance.

That's like telling me that a mask I'm wearing is hot. I just want to, I take it away from myself. I need to. But you still get compliments for the mask. I know, but I wouldn't, a compliment on my mask would never, I bought a mask. It's a compliment on good job picking out that mask as opposed to this is who you are whereas when people write into the podcast and say you made it so i could go on a boat in my bikini in front of girls whose bodies i envied and i didn't care how i looked that shit that i don't have to go you only did that because i lied to you that shit you did because i was i was me. And I can let those compliments in much easier than, oh, my God, your waist.

Well, I'm sucking in so much and I'm dehydrated. That's why my waist looks like that. I'm dying soon. Yeah. Let's talk about the real facts. All right. Okay. So number one guilty pleasure, your favorite thing you never want to give up, you're not

embarrassed about uh i guess my obsession with high school football like it just feels like laying in the dark at 1 a.m watching a bunch of high schoolers play sports if it makes you feel good oh i love it i love it but i could see how it could be something like that i that's why i want to like sports someone wrote in wrote into the to our podcast uh to the instagram saying you know andrew would think this is cool, but pro athletes, they go, what college did you go to? And people start saying they're high school instead of their college. And she thought that I would think that's cool, but I think that's cool.

I love the high school shout out. I love high school sports because it's not tainted yet. Also, the kid that isn't the best athlete can maybe get on the field and there's just a pureness to it that just goes away. Is it because that's as far as you went? I mean, that might have something to do with it for sure. Like I didn't experience the other stuff. It would be weird if I loved high school musical theater. You know what I mean?

Do you? No. Oh. No. They're trash. They're not good. I mean, some of them are good, but like there's standouts, but most of it is bad. And there's some, I guess, humor in that.

But don't you like, don't you think about the fact that like, oh, wow, this person got to be the understudy or tree number nine or whatever, who people didn't believe in. But I want to know that like in retrospect, I don't want to know it in the moment because I'm not going to be paying attention to Jewish Townsperson B. I'm going to be paying attention to the lead and going, God, she's probably going to get everything in life. I would be too jealous of watching younger people do stuff. There's just something about pureness about it. I think with drama and stuff, yeah, if you get on Broadway, I mean, that's a whole other – that's the pros, right?

But anything in between that, it's just the higher up you go, the more it's done just for money. Yes. And I can't wrap my head around these people caring. I just don't think. I've talked to. We talked to our friend Joe Buck. And he's like, you know, baseball players, they'll go 0 for 5.

And then they're in the locker room like laughing. Like they made $100 million. Like, ah. We could take out Joe's name. There's some innocence to it. Yeah. No, we don't need to. I think you would be fine saying that.

I love Joe Buck. It's so nice to be friends with someone whose voice you hear. I want him to do a meditation app. I love his voice. It's so confident. He just has a swagger. I'm just like,

I hate to say I'm like horny for his voice. I said that, Andrew was watching football in his room yesterday and I wanted company and I go, you can watch it in the living room. And I go, is this Joe Buck? Cause I was listening and I was like,

God, it just like, I love it. Maybe it's cause it's just familiar, but I was just like, I want this on because I just love hearing someone who's so good and comfortable at doing something that to me. He's so good at not having like announcer voice and not having too serious of a voice where

it's like i don't know it's just st louis man st louis friendly like real i don't know i just love it okay let's go into a final thought um and noah what is your number wait your number one is wait what's your what's your number one nikki my number one is obviously taylor swift like i i used to have a lot of guilt around it and there's still a little bit of that for me because it people are and think that she isn't as great as she is but um i just you know i i said it on busy phillips uh podcast and i posted a quote that they like kind of highlighted her kid birdie um they They love Taylor Swift as much as I do. And she was like, you would really get along with Birdie. And I was like, Birdie and I are so,

I feel so lucky that I love something that so many people are just like, why do you like that? And that's why I like to hear about wrestling and about your high school football thing. Like imagining you in your room, like loving watching this thing that like brings you so much joy. And you're not, there's nothing,

you don't have anything riding on it. You know, like Taylor Swift, there was something that someone sent me recently that said um like sometimes i want to kill myself it was like a really dark thing but it was like sometimes i want to kill myself and then i realized like i might miss taylor's like next album and i truly i did a joke about it in um the show that we shot where i was i was going to do this e-show called obsessed with nikki glazer and it was like all things i'm obsessed with and our pilot episode was about taylor swift and i made the joke but this was inspired by real events where i was crossing the street and saw my life flash like like a car almost hit me a truck like like seconds and i was like

my first thought was thank god i didn't miss like lover is coming out this week or something like I, I don't want to miss the 10 minute version of, um, all too well because it's going to be, it's just going to feel so good. It's going to feel like it's, I just got sad thinking that so many people had that feeling with the Beatles or like so many bands that just stopped performing together.

Oh, when John Lennon died, like I can't imagine the sorrow people felt. And like, I understand now, like if something happens to her, it will be, it'll be just as bad as losing like a friend to me and people might like joke and be like you know if something ever does happen to her and like people should reach out to me like it will be like a bit very bad time and and you know i was affected by

fucking anthony bourdain dying or like there's there's a lot of people that could die and I would be very, very. Tom Petty got me pretty good. Yeah. Even though he was older, but he wasn't old enough, you know? Yeah, no, it's just, it makes you so sad. Noah, what is your number one? All right, well, I am a sucker for a good pep talk. So like all those videos of motivational speakers and, you know.

So funny you say that because Nikki just started doing it before we go on stage. Yeah, I started doing, like, a circle where we just, like, hold hands. Well, not COVID. We touch elbows and we just kind of do a pep talk of, like, before we start performing. You know, they kind of do it on every music documentary I've seen. Like, you know, usually. Justin Timberlake. I amy used to do it before her like theater shows when she started just like getting everyone on the same page like reminding everyone nothing matters and like just have fun kind of thing what kind of um who's your favorite pep talker are you goggins girl

uh i don't mind goggins i do i i do really like him i like, Ed Milet. I didn't know him until you were on his podcast. Yes, Ed's great. And then there's a guy, he's very New York. He's from a New York hardcore band. His name is John Joseph. He does these pep talks in the Bronx or something where he lives when he's walking his dog. And they're always so motivating.

And he's just like, go out there and do something. And it just puts a little pep in my step. Do you like it when you're already in the mood to be pep talked or do you like it when you're feeling like I, okay. Because sometimes I don't want to pep talk when I'm feeling low. Like that's the last thing I want.

I was reading a lot about, oh, I should have said 9-11 is my guilty pleasure that I'm ashamed of. I love 9-11. I don't love 9-11, but should have said 9-11 is my guilty pleasure that i'm ashamed of i love 9-11 i don't love 9-11 but i like every 9-11 especially on these big you know the 5-year 10-year 15-year 20 i go i go hard and i gotta say there is a there is an article in the atlantic that you gotta read about 9-11 and um it's uh i posted on my story yesterday um it's it's not gonna be available by the time you get this but i just want to direct you guys to it um that you know i sent it to anya and she

goes i don't want to read this because i'm i'm not in the mood to read something sad but it's like it's like a set it's like reading the best documentary you ever read and it's um it's the atlantic you can go on their um instagram and it's uh it's called what 11 9-11 did to one family and it's it took me a half hour to read it's a really long read but it's made me cry of happiness sadness it's beautiful so you know watching footage of 9-11 watching the waving woman if you've ever seen that footage that's a new one to me there's always something new that's like oh my god what's something the thing that i love about 9-11 and i say love being like why i'm fascinated by and sam harris at the no maybe it wasn't sam harris someone was talking about how where i read that um we don't

as much as we know about it we don't know the individual struggle of people who died like we'll never know what they saw what they witnessed we'll never all those people died we don't know what what killed them what they what they thought what they felt like there was no survivors really that have the story of standing next to someone who died next to them like you either died or you did it there was no in between really on 60 minutes there was a 9-11 phone calls of people that were just Oh, I've heard them all.

Oh my God. There's one that you listen to and he's just like we're in the tower. Oh my God. And then it cuts out and it's like the worst thing you've ever heard.

But I don't know why I I don't like that stuff but I It's like why you like murder documentary or why people do it. It's morbidity. That video I watched

the the other thing you posted. Oh, yeah. That was amazing, right? Oh, with Avencio in Virginia and Mike, the flight attendant. Oh, my God. How good was that video? I got really choked up.

I did think of a really funny thing, though. We got to post it on our story, Noah. Yeah. And we should post a link our story, Noma. Yeah. And we should talk about it tomorrow. Can we post a link to that video? Yeah, let's talk about it tomorrow. Go watch that video. It is something that I think if they made mandatory in schools to watch or like made mandatory for human beings to watch it once a year, it just made me be so much nicer to strangers yesterday.

And to have so much more empathy for a situation that I normally be like, God, what the fuck? Like annoyed. It's just, it was, we should all be like Mike. Mike, yeah. When he was like, what can we do to help you? It was like, oh, that question. He goes, you don't need to say sorry to me. Yeah. It was like, I hate to tell you, but Mike lost his life when he was at the age of like 50 something.

I know. He's gone. We don't know what he died of. It was a Reddit. I read the Reddit thread and it was like Mike's dead. But what a lovely man when he was around. And I'm so glad we have that memory of him. And I want to disseminate.

I want to put it out there. I want everyone to see it. Spread this video. Go watch it and we'll talk about it tomorrow. See you on the podcast. What a fun show today, even though we went to some dark places at the end uh have a good one out there be kind to each other and i mean that not in an ellen way um and uh we'll see you tomorrow don't be care and jackalana

john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls.

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Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences. Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly

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He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.