The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #104 Three Truths

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

Between you and Nikki, she might have invented the "stars like us" column as a kid. Nikki is aiming to be better about reaching out to friends in bereavement. Nikki and Andrew discuss how their parents handled their budding talents as kids. Nikki fills him in on her vocal lesson and in Andrew's news segment he fills her in on a grocery store violation, cosplay gone wrong and how the USA gymnastics team was failed by those who should have protected them. In the Fanthrax segment, Besties ask for relationship advice. In closing the show Nikki and Andrew bring up Cauliflower Pizza Gate! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music. I like to isolate each instrument. The rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street.

Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere. A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. Hey, you guys. I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet.

And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events. Tune into my new podcast, Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide.

Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that, too. The Happiness Lab's how-to season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning,

well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Good day to you, good sir and madam, or they, listening to the podcast today. Thank you so much for tuning into the Nikki Glaser podcast. It's Thursday. I get sad on Thursdays because it's the weekend. Listen, I love doing this show. So I hope you love listening to it. I don't know why you would be listening to it otherwise. Maybe I hate hate listen sometimes we do things just to hate noah do you do anything where you're like i do it to feel hatred and angry i mean of course i have done that um like hate watching people go oh i hate these people so

much i love watching them or like they make me so angry I think people just want to feel anything yeah uh not really with hate but just kind of like looking at other people's lives that are not at all like my own that make you feel insecure and like that might make you feel like bad and yet you keep doing it yeah because it's, I think that's different than hate watching because I think we all do things that are like, this is bad for me, but it feels so good. But I guess that's the same thing.

Like hate, hate watching things feels good because you're like, that's not my life. Yeah. I guess I just take it more as like voyeurism. Yeah. I love,

I love seeing inside people's lives. I even, I don't want to take credit for it but I do think so when I was like in middle school I got entertainment weekly I subscribed to it because I like loved entertainment and like you guys know I was voted most likely to become Cisco in my eighth grade senior superlative let's not let's not even mention the fact that there was in my eighth grade superlative, like most likely twos, there was also a most likely to succeed. And I kid you not, I would

give anything for a copy of this. It said most likely to succeed, Katie Miller, dot, dot, dot, and the class of 2002. They just like threw us all in, but also katie miller and katie miller is truly the one that i always go to is like i wanted to be here so bad um but i was most likely to be cisco and ebert um i got entertainment weekly early on and i remember they were doing like a customer survey and i felt really cool that like we got a phone call and they were like may we speak to nicole glazer please and my parents are like a man wants to talk to you and i'm like yes and they were like, may we speak to Nicole Glazer, please? And my parents are like, a man wants to talk to you. And I'm like, yes. And they were like, we're doing a customer research survey as a subscriber to Entertainment Weekly. Like, will you answer these questions? You know, the kinds of things that you would now do on your phone. And I was like, hell yes, I will.

And I remember them at the end of the call, they were like, are there any other things that you would like to see in the magazine? And I go, yes. You know what I want? I want more paparazzi photos of celebrities, not on red carpets, but like out and about. And do I want to say that I predicted and I was very influential in the stars are just like us photos? Because Us Weekly wasn't out yet. All we had was National Enquirer. And that was like alien baby grows out of 60 year old woman. And it was always like those kinds.

It never was, or it was like, you know, what's that one woman that always wins is like on soap operas. It would always be like, God, what is her fucking, Susan Lucci's affair with Elvis. You know, it wasn't like Stars Without Makeup or Adam Sandler takes out the trash. I wanted that shit.

I wanted to see Stars Without Makeup, which is also the name of a band that I want to start. I think the band Stars Without Makeup would be a great name for a band. Someone take it. I'm not going to do anything with it. But I think I was on the forefront of seeing, of being someone who was like we like

to see celebrities in the natural habitats um what do you like to watch on you we we went over on um or on instagram we went over the fact that you enjoy motivational um talks which by the way i want to give a shout out to someone if you if you are like noah and enjoy motivational people there's a guy from f boy who i just love um jamie wood official follow him he had a great one this morning that i even commented on what did you like about it let's listen oh he's first of all he's adorable so like He was a nice guy on the show. Oh, God, I'm connected to my dumb headphones. It says, don't get upset when you're not connected to your headphones. Or whatever.

It's a great day to be alive. One thing I was thinking about this morning as I'm reflecting and getting ready for the workday is that I've got to be more mindful of what value statements I place on my experiences. The experiences that I've had in my life, whether good or bad, um, may not, that may not be the case. And oftentimes I place those value statements on things to make sense of maybe what I'm feeling. Um, and so my challenge to you, um, is to dig deeper into those things that you label good or bad and to look for the lesson or the feelings or the emotions that might be behind why you label it as such. Okay.

What I wanted from him a little bit more was like, I wanted an example of his life. Like what's an example of something he labeled as bad that he could find the good in. But I thought that was a nice reminder and you can tell that he's kind of like inching towards doing kind of self-helpy stuff and I go oh you know what as much as it's like kind of you cringe to see someone attempt to be an influencer and that that doesn't go for Jamie it goes for anyone who just makes that pivot to be like I deserve to tell people how to feel good even me you know like making that pivot myself feels like oh who do you think you are um I actually got something out of watching that and he's he's he's gorgeous to look at too

so that doesn't hurt and Andrew knows him too and like we always just talk about how Jamie uh one of the first guys to get like a wristband from the girls on the first episode of fy island a front a clear front runner from the beginning he uh he's just a good person and i'm i'm uh he uh andrew's always like he could have gone pro man like he's like a legit football player like like a lot of these guys say they they're pro like he's legit he just got injured so um Jamie Wood official I I wrote underneath it I learned yesterday that although I live like to live myself my life honestly and I feel like I never lie there was something that I sent a text message to someone in an attempt to have something done like I wanted

I wanted something right right? And I decided to phrase it in a way there were, there were a couple, there were probably three truths about why I wanted this thing, because I wanted someone else whose feelings I think I have control over to feel good. So I was asking a favor of someone to do something that would make a friend of mine feel good, right? So that was number one, make this person who kind of seems to be annoyed with me feel better. Number two, I think it is the right thing to do what I'm asking for. And number three, I have insecurities that the person I was asking for this thing from has problems with the person I'm asking them to do it for. So I'm trying to make them like this person more by like so many,

so many motives going on in my head. But before the text message I sent, you would have thought I had one motive, which was just, I just want people to feel good. And there's nothing self-serving about this, but it was totally self-serving. I had so many. It was very layered. And because I wasn't honest and just asked for what I wanted and because I felt like the person I was asking for it from needed to be served this request with kid gloves because I was so scared of this person's response, them taking it the wrong way. Guess what?

I gave them a bunch of bullshit around it of why I wanted this favor. And it didn't need that bullshit. All I needed to do was ask for the favor. It didn't need to be like, like I always tell you guys, if you don't want to go to a party and your friend and you have to cancel because you're anxious or because your stomach hurts or because you just don't want to go, you can just say, I can't make it. And you don't need to give up a reason. You don't need to make up a fake reason. Now now although my reasoning behind this text were all true the real truth was not what I I was manipulating I was trying to send this text to get what I wanted where that person wouldn't be mad at me and guess who got mad at me that person because they sensed it was bullshit and like and they took it the wrong way so i was like it led to a huge misunderstanding a lot of drama a week of pain and strife and us me and this person

not talking because we were both mad at each other then we get on the phone yesterday i understand their side of things how they read the text i i understood oh oh my God, I sent that text that I thought was innocuous. Why are you mad at me about that? Because it was laced with bullshit. I wasn't being authentic, even though I thought I was being it. Now, where do I get the good out of that? Now, I can look at how I text this person who I have a lot of anxiety about texting them because I feel like they're going to get mad at me. I feel like I can control how they perceive it. All I need to do is just be honest with this person. And like when I ask for things, not have a million caveats. And that way, when they get mad at me, they're mad about something that's true and that I can defend

because it was true as opposed to now he's mad at me for something that wasn't even true and i go well i was you ever me and me and rachel used to say this thing noah about um you know esty the woman at the comedy cellar she runs we're all scared of her even though she's a lovely woman but she just like decides the lineups and getting a set at the comedy cellar it means everything to a comic even like chris rock kind of gets nervous around Esty. And I'm just saying that as an example. I don't know that to be true, but it's just people that you would never,

you would go, you care what Esty thinks about you? And they're like shaking in their boots. Like, I think Esty's mad at me tonight. And it's like, no, she just, you know, got someone cut her off in traffic on the way here. And she's like kind of annoyed by that. And it's nothing about you. However, Rachel and I always say that like when in our people pleasing days we used to sit at that table with sd and nervously at the comedy cellar and if sd would

be like oh you know i i watched um i watched that uh bachelorette last night i saw the finale of the bachelorette we would try to have the opinion that we thought esty was going to have no matter how we felt about it so i would go oh i hate her just because i would think like esty would hate her even if i don't hate her right so then i go i oh isn't she the worst and i still go no i like her and i go oh no i've i actually like her too we could have had a good conversation but now I've just true have you ever done that Noah where you try to like give someone pleasing yeah and then you're stuck in this opinion that you don't even have and then Esty's like why do you hate her and I'm like

I don't and it's more embarrassing for me to admit that I tried to people please so I'm just gonna pretend like I do and come up with a bunch of more lies um that is but we I I still find myself doing that but the benefit now and I said to this person because I go I'm sorry for I just wish I would have been honest and I was starting to beat myself up like why do I still do this why am I still scared of you and your response and the person was really good about being like because I've conditioned you to be that way by my behavior in the past that I'm working on. Like, I haven't made you feel safe to be yourself around me. And I'm working on that.

And I was like, fuck, yes, I love someone who can see their side of the street, even if I'm the one in the wrong. And I was able to see my side. And I go, you know what? I'm so glad this happened because it's going to make me more aware now when I send texts of what am I trying to get out of this? Why am I doing this? Am I really being authentic? Today I had an opinion about something and I knew that I would probably need to talk to this person. It was not confrontational, but it was like a touchy subject. And I wrote a whole text message.

And I was like, this person doesn't need to receive this big block of text right now. I knew the person was like busy with something. And I'm like, I'm going to see this person later. I can just talk to this person about it then. And so I was like, I had decided like, just finish your thought and then copy and copy and then paste this in your notes, and then if you want to send it later, send it, but just sit on it.

Of course, I accidentally pressed send. So I wrote, please don't read it. Please don't read this now. It was meant to send later, and the person really appreciated it actually because, man, I had the best morning already because the person, I was telling a person that I was worried about another person in their life being maybe having signs of depression that they weren't

that I was picking up on as someone who suffered with it and um they were just exhibiting signs of depression that I've noticed just uh like that they don't even notice that they're giving out that I just wanted to flag for this person who is a friend is close to this person. And I go, it's none of my business, actually, like, I don't need, I'm probably projecting. And he goes, actually, this is important. Because as I've learned, like, no one, you know, when he goes, the Joe Rogan thing, remember when you sent out that tweet about wanting to shave your head and no one, it was a cry for help, but you were too scared to actually cry for help. So you put out a joke and only one person picked up on you being in pain and then he

reached out to you. That, it takes that one person, the bystander effect, Kitty Genovese, like you think everyone else is doing it you know no i don't know how are you with um like when when you have friends who are who are who lost someone close to them are grieving are going through something that maybe you haven't been through before i have you lost uh someone like have you suffered like a tragic death or loss in your life uh and i'm not and you know bruno your dog even comes to mind for me is like i wasn't there for you in the way that i would want to be there for a best friend for your the death of bruno we had it wasn't because i didn't care but it was because i felt like i would like to have been better

but i feel so i've talked about this before, I really don't handle death well. And I sometimes abandon friends when they are dealing with it. And if a friend did that to me, if I lost my father or my dog or an earring I really liked, I would feel like mad at that friend even though I do the same thing do you tell me tell me about your experience with like comforting people through well hold on a second I just want to go back and say we had a very like meaningful and like touching conversation after Bruno passed away which I think about all the time and I want want to say that you, once upon a time,

gave me really good advice about, I told you that a friend of mine invited me to her bridal shower that was out in Long Island, and it was like this whole big thing to get there, and it was creating me more stress to go than to not go. And you told me, look, she's still going to have a great time that day, whether you're there or not. It's not your day.

It's not about you being there, whether or not the party is great. So just let her know that you can't go. And I did, and everything was just fine. I felt better. Through pictures, I saw that she had a great time. And I think that also applies to when a person is mourning. And when I was going through Bruno's death, which is not really like this big tragic death. I have a friend who lost her mother in a very tragic way.

But I wasn't thinking about, I can't believe that my friends are not here to comfort me. I was just like in this like vortex and it was like my own world. But any little thing that someone gave me, like any morsel of just like acknowledgement felt great. So I, so I think it's important to hear that a conversation we had, because I do remember having a conversation with you, but it, it,

I think it was long after I had first thought to reach out to you about it and I think I am and you know like when you comforted me that time in Cayman Islands when I called you like I kind of forgot about that too you know like I but it was but it happened like you you sometimes the like you're not even aware of when you've helped out or when you've received help like I'm not my the story I'm telling myself might not be the story that other people are experiencing yeah and I don't know I just often feel like with you especially like I you're someone who I feel has been a better friend to me than I've been to you in terms of like I I have no expectation.

Like I know. And I know you don't friends. You and I never have. Like that's the other thing. I never feel like I've I've come short. Like I know you'll ask for what you need from me. And that's what I want for all my friends is like, hey, if if I bum you out and I'm not there for you in a way, will you let me know? And that's a lot to ask of other people like you should try to but I will say that with Norm's passing I have a couple friends who are

very close to him very close to him and um one friend in particular who is maybe was the closest to him who is not someone I'm extremely close to I mean I at our, I pulled up, you know, his name to text him. And I hadn't texted him since December. And before that had been maybe a year and a half, like it's in and I only texted him because we were meeting up with friends and I didn't know where to go. And I knew he was going to be there like it wasn't it. We don't talk, you know, but we're friendly when we see each other. I was like this person is a part of many clips that are circulating right now he's probably getting bombarded by support and condolences and all of that but you know and is and and I could let myself off the hook for this one even even Spade like I know Spade was friends with norm and i think i i

wanted to write him right away when i found out but i waited a day and i just sent like a voice memo of like i'm thinking of you like it's uncomfortable for me to like be that sincere and like i don't know what to say i'm thinking of you um i'm here that kind of stuff but I wrote to this person that is probably closer to Norm than anyone that I knew of and um this morning I just uh wrote and was like I just thought about what maybe I would want to hear I tried to like golden rule it for myself and I also thought like all these clips I'm watching whenever Norm is in a clip with this person there seems to be like an energy to Norm that's like he just seems happy and comfortable and I was like wow I'm really grateful for for this person to have been in Norm's life and so I

just was like I just wrote him like a thank you of like thank you for bringing the best out in this person in the years that he knew you the last years of his life that he was close to you. Like, thanks for making this icon that we all loved feel so be the best version of himself. And honestly, I wouldn't it wouldn't be crazy to think that you prolonged his life because, you know, surrounding yourself with people that make you happy and feel free definitely helps your health and this person's obviously going through it and I just said you know send me a voice memo whenever you want to like dump your feelings I go I don't even need to respond to it you can tell me don't write back like sometimes we want to cry and we don't want

anything we don't want it to be acknowledged like what we just said because it's so vulnerable and also I go voice messages like disappear. Like if you ever want to just like spill it. And I just, I don't know. I feel like that's such a sign of growth for me to be able to do that for people who, you know, I'm just a different person now. Like that it wasn't hard for me to do that. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible. And I've really let down other people in my life before when they've lost people close to them. Because I feel like,

honestly, like, if I give a little bit, they're going to need me to stay over the night and hold them. And like, it's going to disrupt my life. And it's like, if it does, guess what? I can say no and go, what else can I do for you that is within my doing? Like, I can have boundaries around people that are grieving. And I feel like I get scared that I won't be able to I also just want to say before we bring Andrew in I just had a voice lesson my first voice lesson and I probably sang for like two minutes of the entire voice lesson it was an hour I met a new best friend she is incredible I talked so much about why I got why first of all i walk in and her voice is like asmr like like i was like soothed her she had a sweet little cat that came up and like instantly wanted

to touch me and i was just like i feel very comfortable with this woman and i just told her like what i needed in terms of a voice teacher i don't want to know about the logistics of like the vocal cords slapped together and the air goes through here like the diaphragm I get the science and we can get there but for me it's going to be very mindful and like imagine your head is a balloon like I like visualization techniques she let me close my eyes when I sang because it's really it's embarrassing to sing especially when you're like oh like your voice is like cracking and she's like just let it crack that's like part of it this is calisthenics like you're gonna if you're doing aerobics you're gonna trip sometimes like it's that's gonna be that and but then we just got

to start to talk about like why what like when I get nervous talking to someone if I ever grab my throat it's because I'm like, I don't want to say like, I'm really scared about what I'm about to say. And I'm trying to hold it in. And like, when I grab my chest, it's because I'm like, I've just noticed these cues for myself. Sometimes I grab my chest when I'm like, really feeling someone like I'm just emotionally connected to someone in open. And then when I grab my throat, I am so closed off. And we just got into like the semantics of things. And she's like a Reiki healer. This woman is incredible.

And like we ended the session being like, I am so grateful to meet you. And we like had a huge embrace. And I was just like, new best friend, NBF. She's going to, you know, she allowed me. She was like, I'm comfortable being on camera. I'm like well the cameras that are about to follow me around are gonna follow me to your place a lot because she goes some of our sessions we can do reiki instead i go a reiki and i go no we're adding

on sessions i want to be around you a lot you're so calming and i feel so peaceful let's get andrew in here and uh and crank up the anxiety jk he makes me feel great too. Andrew! Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly

headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing.

You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose. We make it this big pie in the sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's How-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove and Team Supreme and I have been

working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical we enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements

some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA.

These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart

of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I

had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places.

I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network.

Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What up, Andrew? Yo. What's up? I'm wearing sunglasses today because, I don't know, I don't feel like putting on eyeliner yet. I didn't get a chance to. I love the shades. Thanks.

I left my makeup in fucking where were we charlotte you look very machine gun kelly like thank you loves pink you know what whatever daddy tells me to wear that's what megan fox said on the red carpet did you see that no they're like you look amazing tonight she's like i just wear whatever daddy says to wear and then he was like kind of embarrassed and like kisses her cheek and the woman's like now like you know you're so talented too megan like my bloody valentine she was in like the video for my bloody valentine and they're like are we gonna see you any more videos and she was like yeah i i i

would imagine so because i'm not gonna let any like video hoes be next to him and i was just like, uh, this is doomed because he's a musician who makes music videos. So no women are ever allowed to be in a video with him ever again. Or go to their concert. No women in the audience. I remember you asked me yesterday, are they in an open thing? Does that cover it for you, buddy? You go, maybe they're open. I go, no, she is not someone that will share that man.

And rightfully so but um i just loved her saying no no i think he'll break up with her if i have to guess within a year that's what i'm guessing not to be a pessimist i just i he seems like he's he goes through a lot of stages whether it's his music career are Are you projecting? No, not at all. Of like different things he tries? Yeah. You try a lot of different things too. Well, yeah.

I mean, I could have something in common with the gunner. The gunner. Oh my God. Spade sent me a picture of a guy that looked like him today and goes, squirt gun Kelly. It's like a low rent version. I liked it. Yeah, he's the gunner. He got you in the scope I mean I've been

I watched I tried I want to show you his documentary he like so he did this thing called Kelly Vision

on YouTube where there were vlogs but I'm talking it went back eight years ago like you could see him like sleeping on a couch

like literally doing his first shows for like nine people he is a genius yeah I don't toss that word well I do toss it around but like he is truly Literally doing his first shows for nine people. He is a genius. Yeah. I don't toss that word. Well, I do toss it around, but he is truly- You think you toss that around a lot?

I think we all do. Genius, it's like, is he going to get us to space? Is he going to get us landing on Mars? No. But musical genius, I do think he's up there with the greats. I don't know. He's just so. So much wasted talent.

How many geniuses do you think out there that probably could have cured cancer, but instead they, like, I don't know, are a good mechanic? You know what I mean? Like, because they just didn't have the right schooling. Because they didn't have the right parents that guided them in the right direction. I mean, you know, I think everything happens for a reason. I went to my voice lesson today, and I was talking to her about how like I got like I wanted to be a singer songwriter. But, you know, that one time my mom got a call. Like, I think she called my singing teacher to find out, like, does Nikki got it?

Like, are we wasting our money? Are we dealing with a genius here? Yeah, exactly. Like, is she a prodigy or not? And the answer was no, because most people aren't you know it's like it you how much worse singing lesson maybe it was a money and financial issue back then i mean i'm sure my mom didn't like shelling out 20 bucks for an hour or whatever it was back in 1999 2001 area but um you know those pre-9-11 prices um but it was more about driving to chesterfield every saturday or sunday morning like i remember that was and you know like not wanting your daughter

to be embarrassing and to like know and to be more self-aware like stop pursuing this thing that you ain't got bitch what what is your mom because you i remember you brought it up at that show it was so funny when you were talking about it. Has she ever been like, you're misconstruing the history of this? And what does she say? That one she doesn't remember. Oh. Plead is the fifth?

Yeah, I think she doesn't remember, but I remember specifically she, you know, back then you didn't know, it wasn't even an option to be a singer songwriter like what was that i didn't know how to play an instrument so what am i how am i going to be a songwriter like even though that's what i wanted to be and i think that the goal then was just acapella choir that's why i got into it was to become a better second alto and then also musical theater and yeah i don't have a good voice for either of those things like i have a good but neither does tom waits neither does eddie vetter neither does a lot i mean i can't think of like women that have like different voices but like anya might not be great on on broadway but her voice is perfect for the kind and i don't even like broadway i do like talking like this and i can and i will because you're a star and a genius.

But, you know, that was the goal. So I think that when she realized I wasn't going to be a great Broadway singer, it was like, my daughter needs to make money someday. I want my daughter to be successful. This ain't it. Let's focus on something else. Be an English teacher. That's where she went to. So you didn't sing.

Yeah, what about you with football? Same thing. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well, yeah, but I think it was, my dad didn't want me playing football because I was so small. He thought I'd get hurt. But I mean, it wasn't really like,

with soccer, with traveling soccer, parents have to sacrifice so much by taking their kids. Some of these kids play like 65 games in a year. You know what I mean? It's wild now. Taylor Swift's parents had to move to Nashville because they believed in her. She had enough.

She wrote songs and sang. Your mom wouldn't drive to Chesterfield. Her parents moved nine states. I wasn't dedicated enough. Some parents moved to Hollywood for their kids. Some of them are doing it because their kids want it. are doing it because they want it or they just have a cocaine problem and it's better in hollywood like i like it was for the kid it was for the kid i mean you weren't really there for the kid you were just so you have to have that perfect mixture of like the

kind of supportive parent that even allows you to even have access to the football like program or the swimming program like all these people have parents that have either expendable money or um or they have so show much show so much promise early on that someone invests in them to finance these kind of dreams well that's the thing it's like we we you know my nephew is good at jiu-jitsu he's been doing it a lot lately like he's unreal but then with hockey he didn't play hockey for like a year and a half and he's only like seven or eight my brother brought him to like these tryouts and he was by far like not even close to the like it was noticeable because in hockey it really shows like if you can't skate as good it's really and it was so hard for him to be like, well, I'm good in this one thing.

But then also, he's seven or eight. Like, do you give up on him because he's so far behind right now? I think you just go – When do parents become – No, you don't give up. You do – you go – first of all, you don't want to push your kid into anything. I don't think that they don't want to do.

Yes. And I know that some kids are like, I don't want to go to swim practice. And it's like, okay, well, do you want to be great at this? Do you like, do you, then there's certain things you're gonna have to do. But if the kid is like, I hate swimming, I hate hockey, whatever, then no. But if they, and even if they're not good at it

and they still enjoy it, let them do it. But I think it's really about, but then we might not have any violin players because what kid really wants to play the violin? And even if they're not good at it and they still enjoy it, let them do it. But I think it's really about – It's hard to see that though, right? But then we might not have any violin players because what kid really wants to play the violin? But I mean there's probably some. I think at age eight kids start to feel embarrassment also. That's what I would be worried about. That's what I'd be worried about if he was at the practice and he was by far the worst or something.

Being able to rationalize well i'm good at this because i do this a lot i haven't done this a lot but i should i would give examples of people that they admire maybe even themselves like as a parent i would say well let me tell you like the thing that mommy is best at she was really bad at and i embarrassed myself so many times and look at all these other people watch um you know watch watch michelle williams fall on a catwalk she's in she was in destiny's child though and she said in prosperity like i would show embarrassing moments of people that made it to defray that i guess that would be my approach if someone was really embarrassed i mean

there's so many athletes that aren't great until they go through puberty and like i mean i know this for an example like i was freshman year from in college for a senior year in high school i was 30 stronger it's when you go through puberty like so to like deny your kids so when you were singing maybe your voice when you hit puberty started to become even better and you had more confidence so it's like i don't know it's just like parents need to i wasn't ready for it i'm learning like through this i went to the session today i was just telling noah yeah how'd it go i walked in same person that you've done before no oh new lady how did you find this lady um through a uh i just googled singing like guitar singing lessons and um i wanted to find someone who could

do both but they couldn't find anyone locally so and they're throughout the whole country i'll i'll i don't remember i just called a hotline and i thought it was local because google i don't really know yeah i called a guy and he's in texas and he's his name was noah oddly enough and i was like explain my situation and he's like i go i do comment like i oh this is on facetime no this is on um no i went to replace but this is the dispatcher who finds you people so they're everywhere rotary company yeah he's like let me connect you he's putting in like those let me give them a shout out because they really did find great teachers for me and maybe teachers who are looking for work and placement can look at it but um i got dolores in south robinson music taylor robinson music so i called this guy thinking that exactly dolores in south

county so he um i'm talking to him on the phone his name's noah and i was like you know i'm comedian but i'm trying to like transition to singing songwriting i don't know what i'm doing and he's like oh i'm actually just giving comedy a try i'm usually a musician i was like oh that's cool i go i'm actually a famous comedian nik Nikki Glaser and he's like oh my god well alright well yeah I've watched a ton of your stuff and then he was like talking about like and he wasn't that impressed which was cool but he was just like okay

cool alright we'll help you out and he placed me with this woman down the ways I got to go to a part of St. Louis I've never been to before that was so cute and just like on the other side of Kings Highway it's called like I forget what she said it was called but I walked in and I told Noah instantly like her voice is ASMR her like house was dimly lit she had a really sweet cat that just came right up to me there was just an energy about this girl

that like I was just like I love this and I just felt comfortable in sharing my experience of what led me there and like the ups and downs. And like and then pretty soon, you know, we talked the entire time. Like there was no singing. There was a little bit of singing, but like not much because we just both ended up sharing like struggles in our life and how and how we found things later in life. We found out who we really were later in life when we thought along the way we had found it and we had tried to escape it. And we have a very similar story. I don't think either of us ever thought

that we would get in within an hour to the places we went emotionally. She almost started crying at one point. I was almost crying at one point. At the end of it, we huggedged and we're just like, I like love you. Like I, this is like, it felt like, you know, the universe worked some magic to put these two people together that I was like, she, she's just, she's like a healer. She's an energy.

She does Reiki, you know, and sound healing. And I go, I've only done sound healing, like on reality shows where it's like, isn this weird let's make fun of it and so I was like I'm dying to do those sessions so we just like it was like therapeutic and her I can't I mean I'll ask her permission at some point to share some of the things I learned about her but I like she's just some I'm gonna be able to get close to someone who has a story that I am very excited to like unwrap because it's like um you know it's just a it's i've never met anyone who's had like enough intimacy with someone to really ask about the process that they have gone through to like be who they are and like i just feel like i finally have that kind of friend who who can like make me empathize with a type of person or a

like that I've always wanted to empathize with those with a human with that's been through that experience but I've always been almost scared to engage because I'm like they don't want to be friends with me and I don't really they probably look at me like I don't like I you know it's just when I there's I always have I'm always I was talking also about like reaching out to friends of Norm to like comfort them or to like offer my support. And like, I just feel like because I haven't suffered deep loss or I haven't been through the same kind of trauma or even anything close to it that they don't want to hear me ask questions. That my questions are almost going to seem either like I can't relate or like voyeuristic like wait tell me what it's like to do that or like and i never want i just but the truth is like they can tell me that they can have boundaries and say hey i'd rather not share that like i can ask questions and not be

like a bad person for well what do you want to find out like what are the things like let me give an example like it would be like if someone if someone grew up in, like, a... An abusive household. Or, no, no, no, like, in Palestine. Like, if I met a refugee. Now, I feel like I can't, I don't want to be friends with refugees because, first of all, I can't even fathom the experience of that. And they're going to look at me like this privileged piece of shit

that I'm also going to feel like. I also don't know anything about the conflict and where they came from and like don't know any of the history of it so i feel stupid about what they're going through i feel ignorant and i feel like yeah they could teach me about it but i should know by now so i feel like i'll have to do research beforehand i don't want to have to do you know like all those hang-ups i have about someone else's experience that keeps me from actually being friends with people who I deem like other, you know, and other meaning like good or bad other. Like even like, you know, I was talking yesterday to the woman that I'm working with on writing my book about babysitting for the Apatows and being like, I felt like a fucking disgusting like hobo walking in their house and pulling my Civic up to their beautiful gate. I felt like I would go through their gate and they'd be like, we sent a car from before 2005. Please detonate.

They would just sense that I was dirty and didn't belong in their world. And I feel that sometimes. Did you feel that though the more you got to know them? No, that's what I loved about that experience that experience was like they were such a normal family yeah i mean do you struggle with like comforting people when they've gone through loss i you know it's so funny i was literally i was literally just listening to bob saget to talk on youtube about his relationship with norm and it was so touching and I was like should I write Bob Sag like because we're I guess we're friendly in a way yes should I write him on Instagram

be like hey I just listened to your thing and you know my thoughts are with you something like that not a question just like oh you're heard because who knows if anyone's writing him or whatever and it just hit me like it might be the bystander effect everyone thinks that he's getting a bunch yeah and I just and then I go but then i go i do have thoughts like well am i doing

that for selfish reasons am i doing that because then bob will like me more question it but but i don't i i only i question him like i'm i i would say i'm 90 10 like i just want to that it's not for that you know what i mean but but to your point with the palestinian thing and like being like well i don't have the same experience what i've found and you know whether i'm in a bar a shitty bar sitting next to a guy that's a vietnam vet who maybe lost 10 friends and might be missing an eye or if i'm sitting next to a rich guy who they're all human at the end of the day and you don't end up like even talking about those like really in-depth things of like where you're from and like no you you just bond over the bachelorette just a connection yeah something like that totally but just like a

connection just a human connection what if they don't get the bachelorette in palestine then you talk about reruns of garfield yeah that's that's true. They probably got Garfield in the first. It's huge there. Yeah, yeah. It just came out. That's a good lesson. I think you should reach out to Bob, but also I always feel like, oh, they're going to feel

like they have to get back to me. And so I always do the caveat of like, you don't even have to respond to this. I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you. And then like, boom, it releases everything.

So I think you should write him. Let's get to the news. The news, apparently. Here it comes. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Yo, folks.

The weekend's coming up. You know what that means. Grab your suntan lotion. Grab your alligator raft, because it might be the last weekend. You could go into a pool, because it's getting a little chillier out there. Oh, I love. You know what? When fall starts coming through, I go, the planet's still working.

Like, it's a reminder that climate change hasn't completely decimated any form of like but i heard that climate change that winters are going to get colder but yeah that's true i'm not well global warming is like the a misnomer okay you know where it's like it sounds it's not what it sounds like but it is still a thing and it just because it's global people go well i'm freezing it's like but um oh and have all the swells by the way yeah i don't want to forget i don't know the crispness of fall coming through with it it gives me like a sense of peace that like okay climate is still kind of reliable in ways because it's getting kind of unreliable okay what's the first story uh a man allegedly defecates in a grocery store freezer. Woman accidentally puts hand in it

while reaching for pizza rolls. Was it frozen though? Oh, this goes back to picking up dog poop and whether it's hardened or soft or your own dogs. I don't think it was frozen yet because it was so fresh. It's just on it, yeah so fresh yeah they got him on video shitty

I mean this guy it's funny but the woman was traumatized she goes I was upset I was disgusted I feel like I was violated I was almost in tears oh my god I can't believe she wasn't in tears I mean that is this is a great diet program

you know what I mean you reach it for pizza rolls oh my god that's true and you just get a handful of shit i wish they shit on my fingernails so i don't eat them i bet the nutritional uh you know contents of that shit was probably more beneficial than what was in those pizza rolls i mean that is honestly so disgusting and and shit is a huge violation it is just so bad toxic and so um it's so funny that we carry around something inside our bodies each and every one of us that is mere just folds of skin away from the outside world that would cause someone to shriek in horror if they touched it or came into contact with it you know isn't that interesting it's so funny it's

like it's just so funny to think we're just computers it's like our trash like oh you gotta take out these files but like shitty files i i know i always say it but poop is so weird that like when you take a huge shit or like let's say that's one that you don't even see coming and it just you go oh my god i was just in lululemon with that like i feel like i was smuggling yeah yeah like that poop was in lululemon like or something like i went on a date and i had that poop in me i think about i think about the same thing with just organs i feel the same way like right now we have like a liver and like this just floating just like this and blood in us. It's so crazy. Yeah.

It's crazy, dude. It is. Bags of blood and poop. It's so funny. And bones. Unless you're a woman once a month and then that blood gets away from you because it doesn't even want to be near you.

Edge notes. Edge notes. So what was also great about it is they were driving back home and she cleaned off the poop and her kids kept going, we still smell it. We can still smell it. We still smell it.

And she's like, I'm trying. Like, oh my God. And you know, it becomes a phantom smelly, but she's going to be haunted by that for a while because smell is a cognitive thing as we've learned with COVID. Like something in the brain happens that makes you lose your sense of smell. It's not directly related to like your nose oh wow yeah it's cognitive i mean it's like i do that when i first move into a new place a lot of there's so much anxiety when i usually move that i can't stop smelling something that makes me go i need to leave this is just this place has something dead in the walls or

the person who lived here before like it was a scapegoat to not move in there it just because i'm so anxious about living there and i so don't i'm scared that i will invent something it happened i've now recognized it because it's like it can't and then it eventually goes away so i don't get used to it other people can't smell it and i'm not someone who's like very fine-tuned to smells where i go something smells something smells. I need to get, like, I have friends that are like, I don't care about perfumes and stuff. I'm not that, but there will be a stench that is so powerful that. And it's connected to your brain, you think. It's connected to my dislike of the situation,

and it just like, I invented. It's like a phantom smell. And then you're like, oh, wait, no, I picked up dog shit with my hands. That's what it was. Yeah mean that poor woman it is a salt shit is a salt smell is weird like that because like i remember uh there's a place in florida where they burn sugar cane and it's like the strongest stench ever and we used to play football and it'd be the most ominous thing ever you get off the bus and you smelled it. And it's like, oh my God,

we're going to get killed out. We're in the middle of like a sugar cane field. And then 20 minutes later. I bet that smell would have been good had you had a lot of victories there. Yeah. Yeah. But the team was really good

that happened to live there. So you were scared. So you like, it smells wild that it can bring you back. I mean, it is, I think it's one of.

But it went away though, what I was saying, like in 20 minutes, you don't even smell anymore. It smells interesting. That's our evolution. I learned that in my psychology class at Boulder. It was one of the only things I gleaned from.

But it's really fascinating. The reason you get used to smells is because smell helps you determine if something's bad. You don't want to eat it or it's a threat to your survival. So if you would have a bad smell and you had time to go, okay, that's a bad smell. I know about it. You need to be able to smell other smells so your body just lets you off the hook for that. And it's the same reason why

if you look at your eyes closely, your eyes are always moving very rapidly back and forth. They're always twitching like this. And they're never steady because if they are steady, which they've been able to make vision steady, it completely goes blind because just for the same reason you need to know other things that are coming in new so if something a bird flu you would see that but the

static image that you're looking at that's why your eyes are completely always twitching is to keep more is happening your eyes so you don't have blind spot um no no no no actually if it's more stagnant i would think that the your eyes would be twitching more um no no no no actually if it's more stagnant i would think that the your eyes would be twitching more to reorient to go okay re-up this like keep it going it's really fascinating i love that let's next story god the human you should do one of these stories as the edge and respond to it if you want yeah i'm down maybe why don't is a really good one okay edge uh give us the next story. This is our new character that Andrew does. It's an edgy comedian. Yo, you're going to like this.

Oh, shit. What's up? I am? Yo, this article's wild. All right. So a Hollywood-enthused attorney was arrested. Wait, hold on. Go back.

Oh, wait. A Hollywood-enthused? Wait, I'm sorry. Hollywood is not supposed to be in there. Oh, wait. Oh, I'm sorry. Halloween. Yeah, to be in there. Oh, wait. Oh, I'm sorry. Halloween. Yeah, Halloween.

Yeah, I fucking can't read, bro. That's that private school education that I got that I was overpaid for that I didn't study that much. All right, so anyway. But that wasn't your fault, was it? Never, my fault. Yeah, okay. So what is the actual headline? It's a Halloween enthused attorney was arrested after- Wait, I still don't know what you're So a Halloween enthused attorney was arrested.

Wait, I still don't know what you're saying. Halloween enthused? Yes. Lady, what are you doing? Enthused? Like a Halloween-enthused attorney. Yes. An attorney who really liked Halloween.

A fan of Halloween who's an attorney. Yeah, woman. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's like talking to a rock with hair. Anyhow. Man, Jesus. yeah it's like talking to a rock with hair anyhow man jesus i'm just glad you acknowledged that i have good hair i didn't say it was good lady stop calling me lady okay bitch i honestly would prefer that it makes me feel younger than lady okay miss okay so a halloween enthused attorney was arrested after he took a stroll down a beach dressed as the slasher movie villain

Michael Myers, complete with a fake blood-covered knife. Okay. He turned to his cosplay humor when Hurricane Nicholas shut down courts. I don't like the edge reading. I feel like, I don't even like Andrew reading, but the edge really suffers.

We're losing all intonation that would clue me into what the hell you're saying. So I'm guessing a guy that's a lawyer that's separate from the story. He is a lawyer though. That's his profession. He's walking down the beach dressed as Michael Myers with a blood soaked knife. Why?

Because there was a hurricane and the courts were closed for the day. So he just wanted to entertain himself. And he ended up getting arrested. Good. Why can't a man... Okay, just hear me out. I'm listening.

This is why California sucks. This is why everyone's moving out of California. This is why I moved to Texas. You can't carry a fucking bloody knife on a beach. I mean, I think it's just like it would seem like that guy has murdered someone he's trying to scare people that's the problem everyone's a fucking snowflake you can't fuck i don't want to say it i mean i feel like you should no i'm just saying like oh

victim blaming all this shit like it's like oh oh, you know? Well, I don't think this has to do with, like, you know, people who want to be referred to different pronouns. This is about a guy. Why? This guy can't get referred to as Mike Myers. Well, it's not Halloween yet, so it's just out of context. And it's just like, that's just scary. You wouldn't be, tell me, Edge, you wouldn't be scared if you're on the beach with your girl, taking some pictures. With your girls. And you saw a guy.

You don't think they would freak out if they saw a guy dressed as Michael Myers with a blood-soaked knife. First of all. Coming at them, walking down the beach, having like a. And I know Michael Myers does enjoy long walks on the beach. Yeah. He's a romantic. Uh-huh. That's how he gets up his strength. You don't think that.

You walk in sand instead of the street, your leg muscles get stronger. You your leg kicks are better ufc is number one okay i get that that not to be on edges team but it was during a hurricane there was no one on the beach and something funny from the article was he's wearing a mask he was wearing a mask and uh someone had called the cops on him and when the cops arrived he was trying to like keep the gimmick going until they like pulled their weapons out on him and he's like oh okay i don't understand doing this for yourself though like this is weird what what you definitely aren't that's good you're doing something good because someone did see him enough to call the cops like he didn't go out in in hurricane like a like you know hurricane like five force winds whatever like he went out when it was like don't go on the beach yeah but like he got seen he knew he's gonna get seen this guy's

oh my god it reminds me of i don't know i love before a good idea for a new movie though think about it okay halloween hurricane hurricane verse you know when you tell me to think about it okay halloween hurricane hurricane verse mike myers you tell me to think about it before you say something yeah when you do that it really works on me because then you think because no even if i don't think about it i know that what you're about you're telling me that what you're about to say requires me to be smart yeah and i want to be smart so i'll just think you're smart and like I will want to prove to you I'm smart so when you say that it actually it's almost like a device you've created in order to get your dumb audience to think they're smarter than they are that's the dumbest thing I ever heard

well think about it we'll be right back with uh sports momentum John Stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025.

I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing. You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose. We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions?

We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's How-To Season starts January

1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Quest love. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Quest Love Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody. Every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements. Some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed, you know,

keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm a bill chatting up with hip maker, Sam Holland, sugar, Steve chatting with the legend, Nick Lowe.

And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and the RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn,

and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere.

It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses.

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available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, let's get to it. It's Andrew's Weekly Sports Moment. Here's Andrew's Weekly Sports Moment. Oh, man. It sounds like you almost want to do it twice a week with that enthusiasm.

All right. Olympic gymnasts testify in front of u.s senate about the pathetic lack of response to larry nassar's reign of terror i saw this alert come up and i didn't read it but simone biles name's name came up this poor girl having these all these poor girls having to relive this for so many years after they already have done testimony like so what what are they upset about? I mean, obviously. Because reports, there were so many fucking reports about this guy. Yeah, and they did nothing.

And they ignored it. Yeah, they ignored it. Starting 1999, and he was in prison in 2017. This guy got away. It's so interesting to watch Athlete A, that Netflix documentary. I didn't even finish it

because it was just so upsetting, but the way this guy worked was that the coaches were so mean. I'm sorry, which documentary? It's called Athlete A. It's on Netflix. It's about gymnasts and this guy, a lot of it.

I don't know if it's all about him, but it's just about the abuse these women incur from their coaches. So mean these coaches just cruel, make them them feel fat make them feel like failures constant constant ridicule and criticism and honestly this guy who would then abuse them this doctor was actually the only person who would be kind to them around the abuse you know like so a lot of abuse victims from what i understand they get so confused about the abuse because there's something comforting about it especially when you're living in a world where

you're abused so egregiously and like so obviously where you're being called fat and like yelled at anyone would go that's abuse but then this guy is nice to you he's a doctor and listens to you and and like he would be very nurturing like he was kind like they said he was actually kind and he would kind of make them feel good about the things that the coaches would yell at them about and he would kind of make them feel like don't listen to them like he would be someone that they could talk to and they would almost look forward to these sessions but then they were also getting fingered during these and violated but they were so abused on the other side of it that they almost looked forward to this other type of abuse which doesn't mean

that they liked it or anything and that's why these molesters are so fucking good because they make themselves indispensable in a child's life and offers them because a lot of molesters choose victims who come from broken homes that need um comfort and a warm meal and a warm house or just a place to escape from the violence that they're dealing with every day or the emotional abuse and then they they get then they get abused and they keep coming back not be you know a lot of kids choose to go back and and and and it's it's it's actually not a choice because why wouldn't you it's the lesser of two evils and it's just so disgusting and um this guy is just awful whatever that old tale of like a wolf in sheep's clothing like the doctor jacket the doctor the feeling of like this is uh obviously a brilliant man he's a doctor he's wearing a coat he has uh lab results like and then it's like leave your child alone with a doctor i

know there are doctors out there but just be in the room with a doctor like i i'm sorry then the other thing too is like um anyone's capable of this kind of shit i do feel like i think what happens is then they go, okay, they complain about this doctor, and then it's like, well, if we say the doctor is fucked up, that doctor was hired by me, and then that person goes, well, I'm not going to say anything. And then the person above them is like, well, I hired that person.

And that's what happens with these, because everyone's ass is on the line, because everyone has to go. And they know if this doctor is doing fucked up stuff what about the fucked up stuff i'm doing as the coach abusing these women if they're gonna have a problem with this doctor um who seems to be nice by all accounts from my perspective if they have a problem with whatever he's doing that nice larry guy well then i'm gonna come under scrutiny for how i treat these women. It's like, and USA Gymnastics, they're evil.

And they use these women, these old pieces of shit who could never do any of the things these women could do physically and yelled at them and made them have a menorrhea where they didn't get their periods. They made them starve. They made them, you know, just the abuse these girls went through

in order to be great and with or without their parents even knowing what was going on. And the pressure, I mean, gymnasts are always perfectionists, and I really relate to that. I just wasn't good at tumbling, but I could have fallen into this as well. And it's like they should be furious at USA Gymnastics because Larry is they and the fbi they knew the whole fucking time the same thing with the fbi knew too it's the same thing with the penn state stuff that's what they were saying like in their testimonies yesterday they were just like we started reporting this uh like almost 20 years before you guys did anything about it it took the fbi like the fbi wouldn't even do follow-up calls with them or anything.

This is why women don't report rape or don't report abuse because no one fucking believes you and even if they do, they don't do anything. So like I actually went, I was with someone recently and she was telling me about

one of her friends' young daughters reached out to her because she had been raped at a party by a guy that um you know this girl uh is a lesbian and just came out as a lesbian in high school and there was a guy at the party that was like i'll challenge you and they were kind of like friendly and drinking and flirting and like lightly hooking up and then it just turned into rape now this girl was drinking she also kind of like got alone with the boy she felt responsible for putting herself in that situation where he then held her down and raped her.

And this girl couldn't go to her parents because she was too scared. She went to this person that I know. The person that I know said, I will do whatever you want to do. But I support either side because let me just let you know this where you come from and the school district you're at and who this boy is and who his family is this could ruin your life more than just keeping it secret and you know what as much as i wanted to say no that's the wrong thing to tell this girl have her report it i mean what evidence do i have that things go right there's it's it's yeah it's so fucking sad for women it just seems so easy i have a friend that is one of the most outspoken badass bitches ever and i've told this before she went to a salon got a massage at a reputable place the guy put his finger in her asshole and this girl is a girl that will be like

get into brawls and bars with girls that look at her the wrong way very confrontational not scared to speak her mind she was frozen in fear by this thumb going in her ass um just didn't do anything yeah because she didn't know what to do and then didn't want to i go did you call the place and report the guy no i don't want to see him again if i report him i'll have to like go to court and see him i don't want to ever associate like i don't want to know about it yeah like and it's just gonna be my word against his because maybe he'll just say that it was slipped and I know it wasn't a slip, but it doesn't matter. It's like,

it proved to me that even this friend that I would think is out of all my friends is the one that would stand up the first and foremost. She didn't. So for me to even go, you have to, I don't fucking know what I would do. Yeah. And it's just,

it's so broken. Let's all stand up for, for women. And let's get to fan thracks. And men, by the way, men can be abused as well. This is our weekly segment.

Weird to hear that outside the bedroom, huh, Noah? Yeah. That is, uh, Noah's fiance, Avi.

Um, uh, thank you so much for that soundbite avi um let's get to fanthrax which is our weekly segment where we go through the voicemails you leave us on our instagram page the link is in the bio to leave us a voice memo i know some of you are scared to do that you can always erase it or at the end of it If you're like oh I don't like this you can just say don't Use this one and we'll abide by that And you can send us a DM also to be like I sent something and I don't want it like You're safe so Take a chance and leave us a voice memo

And we won't make fun of you ever on them Or at least we'll try not to let's get to them Okay here's a voicemail from Allie and Nat Hey Nikki We're two besties living in Central West End In St. Louis Okay, here's a voicemail from Allie and Nat. Hey, Nikki. We're two besties living in Central West End in St. Louis, and we listen to your podcast, and we're going to your show next weekend,

and we're so excited about it. And we just had a question about dating for you. So we always listen to your podcast and get a lot of our dating advice and what we give to other people from your podcast. We always recommend it to you. Basically, our biggest problem is we put guys that we like or go on a date with on a pedestal. We have a lot of guy friends that we have no issue just being like our normal selves, not caring about them.

And then they end up developing feelings for us, which is, I mean, it's just not who we want to date. But the guys that we do want to date will go on like three dates and then we're trying to come up with wedding hashtags with our friends and discuss when we're gonna when's the right time to move in with them and everything if we need to get out of our lease early to move in with them when they're when they buy their house um so basically we just need to figure out how to not do that that It's not really working out in our favor So if you have any advice

That would be great We're so excited to go to your show And thank you so much For making this podcast Thank you I want your podcast You sound so fun Please say hey if you ever see me walking around the CW

Okay what I would recommend Is date a lot of people Your podcast. You sound so fun. Please say hey if you ever see me walking around the CW. Okay. What I would recommend is date a lot of people because it will be a way to like, you know, the way to get guys to like you is to act like you don't give a shit. It just is. Like to act like you've got, you're happy, you don't need them, you got shit going on, you're busy. And if you date multiple people at the same time you will never put all your eggs in one basket and the and it will be uh it's an easier way

to give the uh impression that you don't care about a guy even if you really like one guy more than the other just keep it keep a a cast a wide net which i don't i know it's very hard to do that but just like keep swiping keep keep opening yourself up to others. Also read Getting To I Do. Just read Getting To I Do. I know you guys are young. You sound very young. I would just, I would do that.

And also just, but Noah, do you have any other advice for them? But I feel like that's, that's the reason she says to duty date which is like just don't date for marriage like just date a bunch of different people because when you when you are busy and keep your like when you have other dates and like things going on um the guy it'll it's just an easy way to play hard to get without actually having to like pretend that you're busy when you're not because you will be busy right exactly i think um continuing dating is a very good advice and also pat allen from the book she says um when a guy is with you he's not really present because he's just like thinking about your body he has his like sexual desires and everything but it's when he's alone that that's when he really starts

to think about like your compatibility and all of that and she said it takes guys a month to be distracted and then it could take them up to two months eight weeks to figure out like hey i really like this girl i'm gonna call her back and at that point women are just like who are you yeah guys are like women are so insensitive so just men fall in love in the absence women fall in love when you're with them and like that is I mean I've heard that a million times but I am totally feel like I promise you Nat and Allie that that is true in my experience I've seen it recently like i will be with someone and i'll be like i don't even think he likes me and then i will not i will just go away and not write back not like follow up with a text anything and there will be something that there i can feel

their affection grow from me from from a distance it it just they need to download what they experience they're not present when they're with you So my best advice is do all the things you want to do. Hashtag write your name with his last name. Figure out how you're going to hyphenate it when you have kids. All those things. Do not text them ever. And if you want to, draft texts. But don't ever convince yourself you should reach out to them.

It's not to play games. It's because it's just, it's not to play games it's because it's just it's gonna it's gonna serve you best too like don't you don't feel like that sometimes it's like if you have to do all these things then that's not the right person like i i feel like they're like well after three dates brenna used them on you i'm sorry she got a book brenna gave me why men love bitches she used these tactics okay you. Okay, I know. But let's hear my question, though. Like, if there's, I get what you're saying, but I do think that there's guys out there

where if after three dates they want to, like, marry this person, why are you feeling this way? Because the guy's probably not making you the number one right away. Yeah, that's why I'm saying work on those things. Like, let yourself do that, but Yeah, that's why I'm saying work on those things. Like let yourself do that, but know that that's insane. Yes, yeah, but I'm just saying though, like if it takes 10 things to make this person be the person you think,

I just start to wonder, okay, maybe there's someone out there where it's maybe three things. You know what I mean? That's all I'm saying. That's a good point. That's all I'm saying. I'm just saying, stop picking people

that don't want to be changed because you're not going to change them. And even if you do, then you're going to just make an asshole somewhat cool for a little while. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Do not sleep with them.

Ali and Nat, do not have sex with these men. I know. For how many dates? Until you get what you, until you either decide that you don't want a commitment and you truly don't want this person to be your boyfriend, but if there is any inkling that you would like a long-term relationship with this person,

do not, do not, do not let them in your vagina, number one. And if you can, not your mouth either. That one's harder but i would recommend getting um the thing that i bought where is it this little sleeve and jerk them off with this thing a lot of lube keep it in your little purse and jerk them off but don't do not fuck them no matter how much they tell you they want you to i swear to god they might be frustrated and be like mad and like you might part in like a bad way but say you know what i bond emotionally you can explain it because people always go how am i gonna tell a guy this i know

that when i have sex i bond emotionally in a way that i'm not ready to bond with you yet because i don't trust you that a guy loves a woman with boundaries and who like they know, because let me reiterate this. Men know men. And if men get you to sleep with them too soon, which is before commitment, they will not trust you because they know that you are easily manipulated. Even if you're not, they will think that you are going to be um like ripe for the pickings and they'll they won't they won't trust you and they'll have hang up about it so prove to them you have to like trick them into them thinking that you won't get banged by a bunch of guys because they all just think that every man can trick you and fuck you because they're men and

that's like what they think men do but you just just, I know you want to have sex with them. I know you want to blow them. Less is more. And it took me 37 years to learn this. Don't give them what they want. Let them finger you. Let them go down on you. Whatever.

But do not do anything to them. And I swear to God, they will like you more than you think they're going to like you. Have you thought about this when you were three? That's like, that's my my least favorite thing is when people are like i waited 38 years to to find the love of my life and i'm like you were like a toddler being like where's my wife my wifey i like you as three be like i'm not gonna fuck yeah yeah yeah hilarious okay we have time for one more um no no let's let's just move along to the next one.

There's so many good voicemails. So this is from Melissa. Hi, besties. It's Melissa. Love the podcast. Wanted to let you guys know that I just want to tell everyone everything that I learned on this podcast.

And I am also very self-aware of the fact that it's annoying to constantly be saying, oh my God, I learned this on a podcast and I am also very self-aware of the fact that it's annoying to constantly be saying oh my god I learned this on a podcast so I started just saying that my friend Nikki or my friend Andrew my friend Noah told me whatever the fact is and most people just kind of go with it and only my boyfriend has questioned who the fuck is this friend Noah I've literally never heard you be friends with anyone named Noah oh my god I had to tell him that Nikki was Nikki Glaser and then he said are you really friends with her and I said yes yes so there's that and I also wanted to let you

guys know that after all your recommendations I got getting to I do and I read it and I I read it too late because the day before I read it I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a hand job because I was going to do that extra lube trick that Nikki talked about. And then I, he was like, no, I'm tired. And then I found out that since I'm feminine energy, I shouldn't be asking him if I can give him hand jobs. I should be waiting for him to ask for hand jobs or whatever. Basically, I wanted to know if you guys have tips about how do you take the learnings from that book and add them into a seven-year-long relationship when it's kind of too late for some of it. Totally. Would love any tips.

Love the pod. Love you guys. Bye. Love you. Okay. Here's what I would say. You could have said, you know what? I really would love to try to give you a handjob with a technique I heard

about. I would love, phrase everything from what you want and like what you like, your feelings. I feel compelled to give you a handjob right now. Like start everything with I feel. Also, I think from what I've learned from people in relationships that read the book and how it applies to already in a relationship, um, you know, when a conflict comes up, if you're the feminine energy, say, Hey, I've been feeling, um, confused and, uh, a little sad about something. And I would love to talk to you about it. Um, let me know what is a good time for you. And then they get to then schedule a time that works for them

so that when and maybe it might be then but at least they've agreed it's almost like it's their idea no is that correct um yeah interpretation you could absolutely still use the book to help your communication and maybe just like to have like your relationship take on a new life what how have you can you give me an example of something maybe you've done like your relationship take on a new life what however you can you give me an example of something maybe you've done in your relationship that is different because you you read the book before you got in a relationship but like maybe things that because you still go back to the book and like yeah even this morning i went back to and i was like oh yeah i have to be i have to stop like injecting my opinion and how av Avi handles certain things or like if I feel

like he can take a shortcut that I know about when he's driving to just keep my mouth shut oh so you just keep it shut you don't go like I feel like the ramp here will be a quicker way you don't say that you just go the longer way well I have been uh like I have been uh more in my masculine energy because I'm like why don't you take the shortcut don't you know about this road is there a way to take the shortcut and to suggest a shortcut in a feminine energy i would love to know that or do you just because there's so many times where i see a guy doing something on a computer or like and or like dealing with electronics and i'm like god i know how to do this. It's just this. Hey, I know a better way.

Do you want me to tell you about it? Do you want to hear it? Or hey, I know another way, not a better way. I know another way. So you can speak from I know. I feel like I might know a better way. Would you like me to say what that is? Andrew's going to murder us.

Yeah, always ask for permission to say an opinion. Does that work? Do you think that would work? i i think like i don't know we were kind of talking i feel as if the i feel like i have a a way for you to take that pizza out of the oven that might help would you like to hear it yeah i mean i think there's just a way of saying something to someone that just it doesn't come off as a demand that's right So it's like if you know a better way, be like, hey, this way might be faster. Should we try it? Or you want to try it? Exactly.

Yeah. And the tone of it is very important. Ask for permission to say the thing. But then like what we were saying, though, before about another situation that we were in, like, do you have to baby the person as well? So there's like, are you just sensitive to my tone? Not saying Avi. I'm just saying like, is this man perceived as a man? Like, you got to be a man.

You can't be like, why do I have to talk to you? Like, why do I have to be nice to you when I tell you something? Why can't you just handle it like a man? You know, there's that pressure. I think it's just like, I think you're right. My point is, is it the person you're talking to? It could be a mixture. I think what we learned with the pizza gate

is that there could be a criticalness on your side and then there could be a sensitivity on my side and I think there's a balance. We both need to work on each of those things. Yeah, I think you're right. I think that's, balance we both need to work on each of those things yeah yeah i think you're right i think it's um i think that's yeah final thought i think that there are these tricks that you learn in this book getting to i do but that um they're not they're actually getting what you want to do because i think so the first thought what i learned in like

12 step stuff is like your first thought is usually the – a lot of people go, go with your gut, whatever your first thought is. I think that's actually bad advice. I think the first thought is generally your body reacting, your fight-or-flight response, which can really get you into some trouble. Tempered by either a pause and thinking of how would I like to present this information? How would I like to receive this information? But also considering that maybe don't phrase it the way you would like to hear it because you're not them so have empathy for like a man wants to be respected in a relationship you want your feelings to be cherished so think of maybe how could i put this in a way that will maintain the end and reiterate

that i respect him over and that I respect him, which, you know, is I know this shorter way. Okay, my impulse is to go, well, you always go this way. Well, you go that way because it is shorter and I don't even understand why you always go that way. It's like you choose to be late for things. That's how I want to say it, right?

Yeah, that's fine. So pause. Yeah, pause. So pause and go. Look at Noah. I know. So pause and go, okay, so i want him to take this way it's coming up shit okay uh um uh you know i i don't even know if it'll work but i think there

might be a shorter way no do you want to try that no thank oh so i i i might know of a shorter way and would you want to try it if i can figure it if I can come up with what that is? Would you want to try it? I mean, I almost feel like the first thing, although it was how, like, I almost feel like you could almost say it exactly how you want to say it. It's just how you say those exact words. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like a disgust that I have.

It's a disgust. Yeah, yeah. Because I do have disgust that I have it's a disgust yeah yeah because I do have disgust yes it's honest like it's like it's disgust of like why do you why do you have to be such a stubborn man that you have to do it your way like I get mad that I have to be a quaint little woman in the passenger seat and be like I know I'm a faster driver we could get there sooner like I get I get so angry about like the fact that I'm a woman and that means that I have to abide by this man's feelings and make him feel like he drives the right way. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You don't want that. And then I start having the self-hatred that I have for myself and then I project it. Yes. But then you don't, yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. I get mad more about how come I take the time

to figure out where all the lights turn green in a certain sequence where I can save an extra five minutes and he doesn't care about that. I get so mad about that too of like, why? But then if he doesn't care, then like, don't you understand though, like the fact that he'll get just as mad that you do care so much. Right. So why is he not entitled to care about that if you're entitled to care about it if he's going faster? Because the thing that I care about makes us so we're not late to the airport.

And the thing that you care about or don't care about makes us late to the airport. But if we left earlier, we never would have been late. But if we leave earlier, we don't get to sleep in and sleep is valuable.

I could keep going. Then you could go to bed earlier. If I go to bed earlier, I don't get to finish the episode of White Lotus that I wanted to watch. Well, you can start watching it earlier. Well, if I watch it to bed earlier i don't get to finish the episode of white lotus that i wanted to watch well you can start watching it earlier well if i watch it earlier then i don't get to go for the run that i want to like you know i like to live my life efficiently with time and i feel like a lot of things that men do are just like they don't see the layers beneath and the planning it's the classic grocery store example andrew do anything

from the grocery store no i'm not hungry well there's going to be a future in which you will be hungry. Can we plan for that? No, I'm good now. I know you're full right now, but can you imagine a world where you might be hungry down the line? Yes, but a million times over, I say I've lived 41 years, not 41, 25 years on my own where I was able to eat and i'm still sitting here today so you shouldn't worry about it then that means that you get to hang out with me and we get to like have a good conversation and enjoy a show together as opposed to you having to go to the grocery store while i have to wait to watch a thing that we could watch together how many times does that happen but it's just like you know if we're on the same schedule and like i know but we're not

going to be on the same schedule like but getting grabbing you a pizza from the store would save you a trip to the store and i don't understand why you would want to do that but my point is like i'd rather you not grab the pizza if it's gonna even be on your brain ever later like i'd rather just like i'll get the pizza just i promise i'll be okay and i'll, I promise I'll be okay. And I'll eat. Yeah. And I'll be there for you. I guess it's about me wanting to have you available to hang out later and like be, and not have to go to the store and make two trips. And. I know,

but I'll be, I promise like. No, I've taken up, I get you pizzas still because I just know that like, I don't even have to ask. Like, I just know what you need,

but I will stop if you want me to. And like yesterday with the Thai food, I was like, what would Nikki want? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I think about what, what me to. And like yesterday with the Thai food, I was like, what would Nikki want? You know what I mean? Like I think about what you would like as well but like I don't know. Like I just like, I don't want you to hold like.

Yeah, if it turns into resentments, that's different. But like. Why don't you both read the book this weekend? Which one? Getting to a do. Getting me some food. Getting to rent is do. Getting to Venmo me later no yeah

I think that's we there's getting to I do for friendship but I think these are all rules that we can work into our lives thank you so much for your

fan threx's keep leaving us voice memos keep listening to the show spread the word thank you so much Melissa Kat and Allie thank you Noah

thank you to all our besties we will see you in Vegas Seattle and Oregon this week for tour dates and tickets don't be cut out there and jack robinson do i do john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

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