The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #106 FU Tonight

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

Between you and Nikki it might be time to put away a fancy dress from Saks and maybe it's best not to always trust your brain. Andrew and Nikki talk about the TV they got from Goodwill was a bigger bargain than they thought. Nikki wants to know Andrew's take on upgrading her wardrobe with "wine o'clock of vegetable' themes. You'll have to hear the episode to understand... The news sparks conversation about going braless, favorite smells and a new love in the air. Nikki brings up some topics from r/Dating_Advice and r/AskMen in her Reddit Dump and in the Final Thought she talks about one of her worst days at work. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women,, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast.

We want to speak out, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated.

We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. I had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Welcome to the Nikki Glaser Podcast. It's Montuesday. It's Montuesday. Feels like Monday to me, y'all.

Because I got back in town last night, and usually I get back on Sundays. Who cares? Welcome to the show. It's Tuesday. I'm kind of sad because that only means we have three more shows to go before the weekend. I like this show. It was a wild weekend for me on tour. Friday night, Vegas.

Saturday night, Seattle. Sunday night Jacksonville, Oregon. Not Florida. It was so fun. One show Vegas, two shows Seattle, one show Oregon. Man, it just reminds me of how much I need to do. Repetition makes like one-offs I can be you know you can catch a lightning in a bottle at some points when you just do one show here and there but you're taking a gamble but when you are when I'm by the end of the week by the second show by Seattle I had all the you know Vegas I worked out some of the the kinks No one seemed to notice. But I got to start dressing more comfortably on stage. I tried to dress like Vegas-y, you know? Like I wore this dress that I am obsessed with that I got at Saks on sale when I was in West Palm Beach doing a birthday party over the summer, like a private party.

And I got this dress and it's so like Britney Spears pre-Freedom. And it's just makes me feel like a pop star, but I'm just not comfortable. Which dress is it? Leopard? It's black and really sparkly and really short and has a mock turtle, like it has a turtleneck kind of thing and then has long sleeves. It just looks like Taylor Swift, pop star. It's a great dress. And it was weird because I bought it and my stylist, who I use for all my big shows that I do, they go, that looks really familiar. And they sent me a picture of me in a fitting from a couple years ago in that dress as one of my like final options so

finally I have a good eye and then it was so sweet because um well like it's been really fun for me on the road to like dress up and have an excuse to because you know like I said about Dancing with the Stars it was an excuse to like dress slutty and be like, well, they made me because it's like, it's fun to dress slutty sometimes. And, um, but that's what this tour has been too, because it's like these big theaters, like when I'm doing, um, clubs, it always felt a little just, I was overdressed to really dress up. It didn't even occur to me, but when you're doing a theater, I just really love wearing fun things that I wouldn't normally get to wear and so I've been ordering from the runway and just buying like insane things that you know it's on Poshmark I went wild this

weekend buying stuff but um it's just uh and then but the thing is so in seattle or in uh vegas i was confined to this dress i was worried that my spray tan was uh sweating off because my thighs it was really hot on stage and i was getting a lot of um flop sweat from my flop which is i wasn't bombing so it wasn't like you know flop sweat in that way but it was for i should call my vagina my flop so it was like i was just sweaty there and it was running down but the the leg spray i got sally hansen i did i left my spray last weekend and this is who cares i left my legs the spray is the best because it dries quickly and it will not come off unless you shower and like scrub with a towel and then it comes off very easily it is by far the best spray tan out there it does not last it's a one-time use thing but it's seriously you spray your legs and it's just

you don't have to rub it in or anything I left it in uh Charlotte so this weekend I had to like grab the stuff that I had from before that's like more lotiony same Sally Hansen but it just goes on streaky I had so many streaks on my legs and it was sweating off and I was just paranoid the entire show that I was going to have stripes of uh sweat going down my leg and when you're thinking of anything else it's hard to be in the moment and like enjoy yourself and I'm thinking about how short my dress is and it was a late show it was a 10 o'clock show on a Friday and so most people that's that's why Steve Martin quit comedy he said it was a late show. It was a 10 o'clock show on a Friday. And so most people, that's why Steve Martin quit comedy. He said it was the late show on Friday because people work all day.

They woke up. They're so tired from the whole work week. They get wasted before the show. And then they go to a 10 o'clock show. They're tired. They're drunk. It's just not the best place. Even I'm not my best like you know we flew into Vegas

on Friday and we got in it was so much fun the Mirage like treats me like a queen I got this amazing suite it was meal a meal meal me a meal Andrew Anya Matt we all got there and um just hung out in my room and we're like throwing grapes in each other's mouths just like Vegas like that's our version of Vegas is like soberly like using my fruit tray as just such debaucherous fun and um and then Anya and I got to like spend alone time talking which has been so great to bring a friend on the road and um just send everyone away and be like we have to do boy talk or whatever and then I got ready for the show and was like jamming out to like such good tunes in my like Vegas suite just like getting all pretty and like it's fun to get take that process

very slow sometimes curling my hair just getting actually blow drying my hair. A whole other story. Doesn't matter. And then we go to dinner. We had a dinner beforehand at 8 o'clock or at 7 o'clock and the show's at 10. We went to this dinner at the best time of this dinner. And also, can I just say I'm obsessed with this song by Glass Animals called Heat Waves. It's like the number one song on Spotify. And I only only know it because taylor swift put it in one of her tiktoks and it's just really really good and so i was just and you know with me i just listen to a song until it makes me sick i binge it just like everything like i just you know i either I'm always into eating

one certain type of food and I want it for every meal and like deviating from it makes me go like, no, you know, and then I get sick of that food and then I move on to another food that I get obsessed with. And I'm the same way with music and pretty much everything in my life. But Glass Animals Heatwaves is dope. So I'm listening to that. And then we go to dinner and we had the best dinner. We were like, I mean, we were talking a lot about 9-11 because amil and i are 9-11 heads and noah we were talking about um well we didn't get into it but it just reminded me of our show you up where we were talking about 9-11 i think it was like on it was maybe around an anniversary uh when our serious show yeah Jen Jen our beloved uh co-producer assistant um who was often on air

I went around the room and just asked everyone like because I'm obsessed with 9-11 in a way that I know like a lot of facts about it that I just thought everyone knew. And she's young, by the way. How old is Jen? Jen is in, at that time, she was in her mid-20s. Okay. So she was in her mid-20s. And so when 9-11 happened, she was fairly young. Like, yeah, she was probably in middle school, probably early middle school, maybe fifth grade.

I asked everyone how many people perished in 9-11 like you know not later on from you know uh inhaling the stuff yes and depression all the stuff but like that day how many people did we lose we went around the room and it got to 10 oh we wrote we wrote on paper. That's right. So we didn't influence each other. Jen, sweet, sweet Jen, wrote down one million people. Oh, Jen. And that was so funny to me because if that was the number, I mean, that would be, I mean, 9-11 couldn't have been any bigger except in Jen Daniels' world, in her mind.

And she did the thing that something killed one million people. When really, I mean, like, it's, what, it reminds me of a Sarah Silverman joke where she was, like, talking about the Holocaust with her niece. That's, like, the worst. It reminds me of a joke. She does a lot of Holocaust jokes, but she does them very, I think they're just really smart jokes. But it was like something like my niece said, oh yeah, I remember it now. My niece and I were talking about the Holocaust and my niece said, you know, Aunt Sarah, 60 million Jews died in the Holocaust. And I said, actually, it's 6 million. And my niece, who's like, she was like eight or something,

she goes, I mean, yeah, but like, what's the difference? You know, and Sarah goes, well, 60 million is unforgivable. I mean, now I look back on it and I'm not that big of a fan of it. But just the way Sarah delivers those jokes always gets me. One of my favorites that I quoted the other day to Andrew was she was talking about, you know, Sarah, I think, doesn't do this character much anymore because it got her in so much trouble. But she used to play like a character in her stand-up that was really stupid and like naive and I like would say things from a kind of racist perspective but just being too stupid to know that it's wrong you know and now she can't really do that character anymore because people are like what's the difference between you saying that and the character and it's like well the difference is she's playing a character even though she's bringing brought on stage as sarah

silverman the joke is that this person delivering the joke is stupid you're stupid if you don't understand that and i don't understand why she can't get away with that yet writers on veep can write the most racist i mean veep is my favorite show but the jokes on that show if anyone told them as a comedian on stage you would be canceled like 90% of their jokes yet we don't go to those writers and say you get to have to lose your job because you wrote that joke because it's for a character so what's the difference um I'll tell you the difference Sarah Silverman's joke is unforgivable uh call back okay so but her joke that I told Andrew the other day was, and it always, this joke made me, where I was just like, oh, that's the level of which I want to work at. She was thinking, she was talking about, she saw one of those commercials where the kid is in Africa, is and they're you know flies buzzing around their

head and it's like for a dollar a day you can you know save and oh on her Sarah Silverman program I remember she was like she was taping dollars to the screen so that she didn't have to see the horror that this commercial was but the joke was she was like and it just moved me so much that I wanted to do more. So I found a way to ship to them 50 like beautiful J.Crew cowl neck sweaters that were just like she just, you know, she's coming from the perspective of like, what would she want? You know, she's a selfish person. And so she goes, but here's the joke. She was like, and they're in really fun colors. I loved that line. She's like really fun colors. I loved that line. She's like, really fun colors.

And then she goes, and you guys, I got back a letter that said, thank you so much for these sweaters. They were delicious. And that's the line that kills me because the whole premise is funny. And then you go, is there going to be a good payoff? And there is um I digress we went to dinner talking about 9-11 and then we all ate too much and we're just like we have a show and then we had a show at 10 and it ended up being really fun but we were all like a little sluggish from dinner and traveling all day and working all week but then man um and

I didn't love my set to be honest with you I uh it ended weirdly I just kind of ran out of steam I could tell the audience ran out of steam I knew we had a dance to do I bring out Andrew and Anya to come do a dance and I just like I didn't there was no joke that was going to be short enough to get a good applause to be like thank you good. Good night. So I was just like, guys, we have a dance. Come on out. It was just like very anticlimactic, like not my best work. However, I did a whole 100 hour and 20 something minutes of material before then. But I know from my studies of reading a thirds of books that people remember the first thing, the last thing, the thing that made them and the thing that made them the most uncomfortable. Like they don't usually remember

the thing that made them happiest because the survival technique, you don't really need to remember what's happy because you'll, you'll remember that naturally. Like if a plant tastes good, you'll be like, Oh, let's go back to that plant. You'll be back there the next day. But if something is negative, you really need to remember that to avoid it. So it's like kind of survival. So when you go to a show, that's why you never remember the funniest jokes. You always remember like, oh, that one bombed or, and you remember the first joke and the last joke. Those are always the things. So I ended poorly. So I was like, fuck, they're going to hate me. I went backstage. I needed to be alone afterwards because I was just like that wasn't my best and I feel like

they're gonna be mad at me you know I have a little bit of um runoff uh anxiety from some reviews I got early on in my tour and that weren't wrong you know I was smoking a lot of pot and dealing with coming back to work after being off work for a while so it all checks out those people had reason to be not that happy but I thought I did my best that's all I can say um but after this show I was just like oh no this kind of felt not good I'm gonna hear about it and then I went to the meet and greet and I'm not in the mood to do the meet and greet because I have to face these people who just saw this performance that I'm not that proud of but I have to say like everyone was so nice and was like, that show was amazing. And all the DMs I got were so nice. So I'm back to not trusting my own self on these things.

And I really want to trust the crowd and especially the besties. I mean, so many came out to the shows. Shout out to Nikki, who gave us two t-shirts at the Seattle shows. You also wrote me a card, Nikki, and I left it in my, cards are hard for me to read because it's a lot of like, I just don't feel like I deserve them.

So I always like store them away and then I lose them. But it's not because I don't like care that you wrote the card. It's just like, it's too much for me. And I want you to write cards to me because I even think if things go unread, you still get your feelings out.

So don't hesitate in writing me letters. And sometimes I do read them. I left it in my Seattle hotel room and I almost turned around, but we were running late. So thank you, Nikki, for those shirts. And thank you to all the besties who came out and just made me feel great.

But after Vegas, man, Seattle were the best shows I've maybe ever done. And then Oregon, too, was an outdoor amphitheater. I called it Red Rocks Light because it was up in the hills in Oregon, in southern Oregon. And I was, oh, man, I was in a bad mood. I had a couple mood slips this weekend that I'm not proud of. And I owe some apologies that I'm gonna ship off today via email because it's easier for me to apologize in writing than it is sometimes face to face but

it was a little bit moody this weekend and not proud of that but man the shows felt so good what I was gonna say is that in Vegas I think the problem was my outfit. And I was only doing that outfit because it was Vegas. And because in Seattle, I wore jean shorts and a turtleneck and I looked really, I felt sexy, but I also felt really comfortable because I was in shorts and like looked cool. I mean, honestly, I was kind of doing a Sarah Silverman look because she likes to wear shorts with like tights. I wasn't wearing tights, but in boots. I think that's my new stage look because I got off stage and I go, okay, that's the special. Because if you don't know, I've been like really worried about my special that I'm taping in November and being like, what am I even saying? Is it funny enough? I finally know what I'm saying.

I have a message for it. It's going to, whether or not people think it's funny which it is because that's just it is I I I know if something's I know when I'm not getting laughs so it is funny but what it really is is going to make men feel better about having a penis that they don't love and it's going to teach women how to possibly like respect themselves more in terms of like their sex lives. And I have to figure it out how I'm going to do it. But I think at the end of this, like, man, it feels good to have like I felt like in Oregon, I gave I made everyone in the crowd feel better about who they were. And I also made it funny. So you know, I did what I do on this podcast, or what I've heard I do in this podcast for people. And sometimes I'm not funny on this podcast. But I was able to make those same messages funny. So I'm really, I'm really, I'm finally excited. I walked off stage in Seattle,

and I go, that's it, I got it. And then by the time in Oregon, it was great. So St. Louis show this weekend, I'm in town all weekend. I'm so excited. I have so much more to talk to you about. Let's do it with Andrew. Let's get him in here. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.

Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland,

sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Mini Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends.

EGOT winner, Viola Davis. And former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story

with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions. Limitless answers. We want to speak out. We want to raise awareness. And we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult

entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes please. Because at the centre

of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere.

It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What up, Andrew? Paul McCartney. I mean, I just went to, I was telling Noah I just went to Starbucks and was sitting there waiting for our stuff. And I saw a guy that the guy, one of the guys baristas looks especially with the mask on identical to John Mulaney did he sound like him he kind of did actually but I was trying to

film him and I go in there all the time so I know that someone in there is going to follow me and see that I did that and I hope I don't get in trouble but I didn't say anything bad John Mulaney is a good looking guy yeah well then it was the old woman that looks like Paul McCartney yeah did you see it I did and she looks exactly like Paul I mean exactly like in fairness every old woman looks like Paul McCartney not like not like that that was exactly you know the Paul McCartney is a gorgeous man or older woman he looks like an an old cat now, right? He's kind of like a cat. You can't not look a little bit not great when you're old.

Yeah. I love the way he looks. I've been actually trying to find... The serum? I'm really into whatever serum he's using. He's vegan. I love that about him. I've been kind of a shopaholic recently, especially with the new video that we have going on.

I'm trying to acquire a lot of new shirts and things to wear on this and just fun stuff. And I was talking to someone about what I like to wear and what fashion is to me or me or whatever and I just want what is fashion to you fashion to me is yeah being able to wear things that you that make you happy that make because honestly like if you're comfortable and I don't mean like pajamas because well some people like pajamas every day but like comfort in terms of like I, because I always get kind of annoyed when girls are like, I wear makeup for me. And I'm like, it is the patriarchy why you wear makeup.

Don't say it's for you. You're still trying to achieve a look that makes you feel good about yourself, but the look is based on men's desires. But that's okay. It doesn't mean that you're trying to get men, but you have to admit that it is based in that on men's desires. But that's okay. It doesn't mean that you're trying to get men. But you have to admit that it is based in that,

if you ask me. But no one is. And I'm not an expert. So feel free to write in the comments why I'm wrong. I won't read them. But I think I realized I like wearing things, first of all, that get compliments from other girls. I don't really care what guys think.

I know what guys like, tight things that show my boobs and have holes in them. That's what guys like. Noah, if you ever wear something that's a little bit short or sexy, guys are going to compliment it. It doesn't matter what it is. Yeah, it's pretty simple. It can be a garbage bag. We don't care if it's valentino as long as it has a hole in it where i put valentino yeah or valentino yeah yeah both valentino is the tj maxx brand of valentino it's the ferraro of ferraris i'll never forget a dateline episode

where they were talking about you know counterfeit uh electronics and there was in time square you know like a store that sold it and there was a VCR I mean this was in the 90s and they were like this VCR you think says Panasonic but what it does say is

Panasonic I just love that there's an extra A in it Panasonic so did it work though? I wonder I'm sure it works a little bit

you know like any knock off thing like our TV that we got for $38 no our TV is great there's something glitchy about it

but it's worth $38 should we talk about the family whose accounts we use oh my god poor Scott so we got this TV from Goodwill

that my mom found gigantic TV generally costs $1,200 something like that probably yeah maybe more my mom got it for like $40 TVs oh yeah are way cheaper now it's unbelievable gigantic tv generally cost twelve hundred dollars something like that probably yeah maybe more my

mom got it for like 40 bucks tvs oh yeah yeah are way cheaper now it's unbelievable i bought a 27 inch flat screen 20 15 years ago two thousand dollars i know it's computers too like used to my computer would be like ten thousand dollars for this thing that would take up half of your den yeah yeah yeah um but you could show it off. I mean, it's what you had to do. We didn't know any better. So we bought the TV. But on the TV, the smart TV,

I loaded all of the Netflix, HBO Max, all these accounts that we're just not logging out of out of laziness because I honestly... We all have them, too. We have them. We have all of these. We're paying for all of these accounts, but we log into theirs because they're just there.

And they're like families. It's Scott, Bethany, Andrew. But Scott, his parents probably have a lot of questions for what he's been watching on HBO Max. I imagine it's a seven-year-old boy and his parents are like, he likes watching scenes from a marriage like our son needs to be going to art school this kid's in rehab or is in uh therapy because of our he saw

the white white load it picks it right back up but white lotus where that guy's getting his ass eaten scott just tunes in like what's white lotus scott's like i usually i watch cartoons and sometimes i watch white lotus get ass eaten yeah I mean that is what's happening Scott oh they have a sit down it's just you know putting in your password I have so many passwords floating around I don't want to make a new one yes I wanted to write a joke about this

for a while but whenever I write a new password I'm like I don't want to get I don't want to have to come up with like my dead dog's name and then they're like no you need you need a punctuation I'm like I'm not I don't want to have to come up with my dead dog's name, and then they're like, no, you need a punctuation. I'm like, I don't want to be excited about my dead dog now. Speedo! I guess you guys got to use a question mark there.

Speedo? But then you're calling for your dog. Speedo was my old dog's name. I just copied what you just said. Yeah. You asked me the other day. You were like, what was that dog's name? And I said Speedo.

What do you think about that? I like it. It's a great name name we were on the way to swim i mean i just see a a nice package like i see the dog wearing a speedo and his speedo was a brand of swimsuit but that that is almost like kleenex and that men's men's underwear like swimsuits have now just be called are their speedos even though it's like really bath tissue or whatever they call it but i it is funny like anything that if you did a question mark it'd be like you're calling out to your dead dog speedo are you there or you know what i mean like and then a period you're not giving it enough for a dead dog i just thought it was a funny line to go i don't want to get excited about my dead

dog and i was always wanting to write a joke it is a good line what was fashion to me and we talk about this a lot because we are just purely you just look at us and you think fashion I'm wearing a Whitney Cummings shirt by the way I go over to Whitney Cummings she does a podcast where she's on video and she has a wardrobe closet that she goes into and when you come

over to her house she's like do you want to wear something from this take whatever you want and at one point she was like you can have so many things i never wore this because it's just not me but i just uh why isn't that you though because it's just like it makes me feel like i'm too like it makes me feel dressed up and it makes me feel like i have to do the rest of my like my hair should be dressed up then my makeup should be on my my whole outfit needs to match how cute this thing is when really i can't wear this with like biker shorts and it's it's busy and it's not um it just doesn't suit the cut doesn't suit me i have like broad shoulders i tend to like to it's it's just not but i like it it looks good i put it on i like

it yeah i think um what i was gonna say is I'm trying to accrue a bunch of shirts. And I was thinking the thing that I like about what I want to wear from now on, and I know it makes me a child, is just I want to wear things on my shirt that I care about. I want vegan messaging. I want Taylor Swift. I want artists I like. I want cool vintage shirts that can spark up a conversation with people who like those things too. So I was looking into vegan shirts because a lot of them are so annoying. Yeah, I'm sure.

Like most people hate vegans and you don't want to be like vegan AF or like don't talk to me until I've had my Satan. Yeah, it's like the wine o'clock of vegetables. Yeah, and vegans think they're better than everyone because we are and because we're right. And people hate it. And I saw some, like on Etsy, if you type in like, I was typing in PETA, like vintage, like maybe vintage PETA shirts or something would be cool. And it was like people eating terrific animals. It was just like,

like anyone who, vegan can be, but mostly meat eating, like anti-vegan stuff is some of the stuff. Any extreme on either side. But you know the one I like that I think sends a good message and is like,

it gets people thinking, like no shirt is going to someone vegan i realize that but why not try to get someone it takes nudges like for me to become vegan it took like a lot of messaging it wasn't one thing i saw and i'm like i'm done although if you want to go vegan there is one movie you can watch and it will make you vegan i have never seen it but it's called dominion and if you really need that extra push over the ledge, without question, that one... Why it shows how these t-shirts are made?

It shows... The creative process? Yeah, it's just footage of a bunch of hipster vegans in Williamsburg at a coffee shop sitting over a table. Who eat meat in the janitor's office and don't tell anyone. Yes. Sitting over a laptop going, wait, I think it would be better with this font. Like, no, the one that I really like.

And tell me, what do you think about it? Well, this one is very popular, but I want to make my own. It says eating animals is weird is usually what the thing says. Yeah. So that's one, which i think is interesting because it's like people don't even think about it like oh that is kind of weird to like eat animals and maybe it's not weird because they're like we're carnivores and we should and we hunt and that's but i think um the thing i would want to change it to which i think would get people a

little bit angry and wanting to be like what does that that mean? Eating animals is gross. Because if you say gross, people are going to go, that is a judgment on them more than weird. Because some people like being weird. Keep Austin weird. But gross will make people go, no, I'm not. What do you mean by that? They'll get defensive and then they'll eat more meat. I think weird is good because it it it it nudge like you said it's a nudge and i know

sometimes it's i want to you want to do more than a nudge you want to put it down their fucking throat be like put an asparagus down their throat yeah but i i like last night i watched or i was on the airplane i was watching this video there's this quarterback who plays for the chicago bears right and he played for ohio stateuckeyes and Georgia, whatever. This guy, Justin Fields. And he did a 30-day cleanse where he stopped eating meat. He started eating vegetables. He started drinking this kind of weird drink that smells like urine.

And he started to feel better, and he lost like 20 pounds from it. And he was just supposed to be for 30 days. But now he's doing it forever. He's made it his lifestyle. And that's who he is now. We'll see if it's forever. But my point is that that was a nudge where it wasn't like, fuck you for eating meat. It was more like, oh, here's the benefits for me for vegetables.

That's all I'm saying. I get that. And I just thought it was interesting to watch it because it's like- That makes me think eating disorder stuff. So I don't tend to want to appeal to people's weight loss and like- No, but it wasn't about weight loss. It was about feeling healthier. Well, I think you'll feel better if you aren't contributing to animals being hurt.

I think that should give you enough of a sense of- But don't you see how that could be a nice thing or a way for people to see it without feeling like, fuck you for eating meat. But what do I say for that? Do I go, there is a guy that used to play for Georgia. He also plays for Alabama sometimes. No, no, Ohio State. Ohio State.

I think his name is Justin Fields. He always used to eat meat. Then one time he went on a cleanse. So this is the whole scripture on my shirt uh-huh okay well i'm just trying to think of what to put on the shirt on the back it says he got drafted by the bears he ran a 4-3 what about this shirt what about this shirt so eating animals is weird i'll get that shirt because i think that is that's interesting you're right it's a nudge what about um uh one i always love this one where it's like an animal's face, but half of the animal is a

dog. The other half is a cow and it says no difference. I like that. I like that. Yeah. And then, yeah. Or what about friends, not food? And it's a bunch of animals that we eat.

I think you could go. And it's a friend's logo. For humor reasons, you could go like that. Fuck you, you fucking fuck shirt. I want to tell you the one I got that I do love. You tell me what you think about this one, Andrew. This one. What if you like to cook your broccoli in conservative tears or something like that?

You know what I mean? Yes. I marinate my broccoli in conservative tears. I'm not trying to get Trump voters to go vegan That's the last thing I want to I love this shirt It's a cool design right

I love a black t-shirt with colorful colors It almost looks Miami Vice It's Miami Vice like pink and blue Like our background here What does it say I want to F you tonight so what is it what do you think it means vegan wise um this is a vegan shirt yeah i want to

it says i want to f you tonight f you tonight yeah i just thought it was a cool shirt how long is this going to take him to figure out i want to f you wait noah can you get it without seeing the shirt i want it says i want and then two and then f you tonight and it's a like the letter u yeah f letter u oh duh i mean i can't even figure that part out. No, no, no. What do you think it is? Wait, hold on. Let me show it to you, Noah. Yeah, hold it up to the thing. Oh. I want to F you tonight and it's vegan.

How would anyone know that's vegan? I don't think. I want to F you. Do you know it, Noah? I don't want people to think I'm trying to get laid tonight. It's a vegan message I want tofu tonight Oh That's why I love it

It's sex and Rock and roll And vegan Yeah I don't think people I don't I would say one out of 20 people tops would come up to you and go, tofu? Maybe one in a hundred.

Well, I mean, I guess if people are thinking I'm wearing a shirt that says I want to F you tonight, like that's hilarious too. Because who would wear that? Well, and then you go home with them and go, look, I'm going to fuck you if you don't eat meat. So it works either way. I go over to their place and I'm like, where's the tofu? And they're like, what?

And I'm like. What's the tofu? And they're like, what? And I'm like, what? And then they get soft and their dick looks like tofu. I'm like, I want it extra firm. All right, let's get to the news. Apparently, here it comes. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, man.

Hope you had all the swells this weekend. We sure did. We traveled a lot. We traveled a lot. We saw a lot. We saw a lot of Pacific Northwest. And boy, are we happy to be back in the Midwest. I love that Pacific Northwest air. A lot of air.

A lot of air up there. Moisture. Just like feels cool and moist. Yeah, like tofu. Like tofu. Like 2FU. All right. First story. Here we go. Here it goes. Like tofu. Like 2FU. All right. First story.

Here we go. Here it goes. Go time. A woman slams a nightclub in Manchester for not letting women in if they don't wear high heels. Oh, that's... What is this club trying to do? They're trying to get... I mean... People... know she's mad this girl was

just not dressed up enough in general and they maybe just pointed at that like it's it says no no high heels no well there was no there was no uh it said dress um like nice what i forget exactly what they said but they didn't say high heels specifically. And this person showed up in sandals or flats, and they're like, no, get out of here. I'm guessing it's just like she was just dressed, not like, oh, wait, let's see what she was wearing. And it's so funny, because the picture that we're seeing is she's standing around men who are all in sneakers. Yes. And that's what I was looking at the footage.

I think that might be the girlfriends. In sneakers? Yeah. So some of her girlfriends were in sandals, flat sandals and sneakers. But her critique on her TikTok video is that the club let in men with sneakers or something. So she and her friends didn't get in

because they all were wearing not heels. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's such bullshit. And, you know, it's like, why would you want to go to that club anyway? Because it's probably, but maybe it has good drink specials and you're meeting someone there. You should be able to go anywhere in whatever shoes you want.

It's just you have to wear shoes. Yeah. Or you can't wear those ones that look like the socks with the toes. the toes if you're insanely hot too with these clubs they don't care like they're like oh you're showing your tits oh but your shoes you know what i mean like i'm not saying that she's not attractive i think i saw somebody over that she was attractive but i'm saying like these clubs they tend to depending how rich you are depending places what about places where you walk in they make you go get a sports jacket or they make you wear a tie or something?

It's so stupid, but you know, I'm... No backwards hats, no flat brim hats, no long shorts, no... No bald men, apparently, is what they're saying there. Yeah, no poor bald men. No guys who are insecure about being bald. Yeah, I mean, this got me thinking because I was looking at the photos

i was looking at photos from this weekend and like it's just so funny to see me and anya and like these sparkly like outfits with heels on and our hair and makeup and andrew's wearing a sweatshirt from haynes and jeans and dirty sneakers and it's just like where what like how like isn't there a middle ground for you and there's not because that's just who you are and you get to i like that you dress how you want and you look and you look good and comfortable but it's just like women's fashion is so punishing and i was just saying this to noah like the reason i had fun in seattle Seattle was so much about I was wearing boots that weren't too heeled. I was wearing jean shorts. I was wearing a really like covering shirt with like a turtleneck that had like a hole in the – so you could see my tits in the front.

So God forbid. No bra. No bra. I'm going no bra all the time because it's just like bras always get in the way the straps always showing why am I ashamed of my boobs like because it makes men like see my nipples like who cares like I I just don't they look good they sometimes they're in tip-top shape and I just feel like oh I don't really need a bra tonight and I just don't care and I know and you know what there's something to look at if you're bored with my set I know that's wrong to say but sometimes people zone out and they want to look at some tits and at least I'm

I got some people talking afterwards like what was your favorite joke ah tits the first and last tit um I was saying before that you only remember the first and last thing of someone's set. No, after the show, it's funny though, because wearing no bra, everyone's talking about it and thinking about it, whether or not they're talking about it. But unless you say something, no one's going to say something to you. This is your friends. This is people you work with um but after the show in Seattle where I wasn't wearing a bra I uh went I was doing the meet and greet and a girl gave me a Taylor Swift journal and it really moved me like I was so

excited because I just love anything Taylor Swift but it's like this was in this really nice case and it was just beautiful and I I just finished my uh writing in my Taylor Swift journal I bought a few months ago so I was like I need a new one anyway and I was just moved by it and I was like oh my god and I said it really loud there's this whole line of people waiting and I go this just made my nipples harder than they already are and everyone laughed so hard because it was like everyone knew everyone who's already thought about my nipples. Everyone. It's just like, and that makes me feel, sometimes I'm like, I hate when someone's thinking something about me that they think that I don't know about me, which is that. But what are you going to do? I don't know.

I mean. And like you just said no bra. It kind of annoyed me because it's like you knew that and you like saw my nipples and it just makes me feel weird because you're my friend. And it felt like now I'm like, I should protect my friends by not showing my nipples around them. I didn't say anything was bad about it.

I know, but the fact that you noticed means that you were just like, Nicky's not wearing a bra. I wasn't like that at all. I was just saying, you were saying your outfit and I literally just mentioned that was part of your outfit.

Was it not? To me, it wasn't. To me, it was not part of my outfit at all. Well, you were saying your outfit and I literally just mentioned that was part of your outfit. Was it not? To me it wasn't. To me it was not part of my outfit at all. Well, you're saying, well, it's truth. It's an observation. I'm not lying here. I'm telling you that you wore an outfit that made you feel comfortable. It would never be of note to me that I wasn't wearing a bra.

To me, bras are comfortable. Not wearing a bra is generally uncomfortable except if my tits are like uh but it is of notice of you because you just said so much about how the audience perceived your tits how they didn't say anything about your tits until you said something about your tits obviously you were thinking about when i was describing the outfit it didn't occur to me to say that that's what i'll say okay that's until you said that but yes that's and of what the elephant is. And I did want to just squeeze him like this. Tune in Tokyo.

Does anything go through your mind when you're not wearing a bra and you're about to hug somebody? No, that doesn't cross my mind because generally you're hugging someone not shirtless. So they're not going to know like the fabric on them is gonna protect you no i don't think about that do you think about that i do what do you think that the guy's gonna feel the boobs on them well for my boobs usually my bras have some kind of like a hardened cup it's never like just a fabric yeah right right and um so whenever like i've been wearing a bra less and less and whenever i'm like i'm about to hug a friend or anyone right i have to do this hug where i'm just like touching with like my clavicle oh like the rest of my body is away

because i don't want them to feel like my boobs interesting i've never thought about that i guess if i was wearing like umbros or like some kind of shorts where my balls and penis from a male perspective if you hugged a woman that you clearly wasn't wearing a bra would you like kind of try to feel with your chest i don't think so although you know guys you know if a girl rubs their arm on your shoulder your tits on your shoulder, you could feel it. But that's not really where you're getting your nerve senses from. So if it's on your chest, I guess you could feel it. But it's not like horny.

It's not like it's not like something that's going to arouse me. I don't think. Although you could take notice of, wow, these are tits on my chest. Like probably because you're not used to feeling it potentially yeah you know i feel like bras often make me feel more femme more like a woman than not wearing bras like because they push them up and they make them really like right now i'm wearing a bra that makes my boobs look huge because it's like it's not um there's there's not padding in it but it's like almost like a it just has like a big cup like look that makes my boob

look so big but if i just had on um a bralette that is very slinky and like it would almost let them now this is keeping them up because it's an underwire so it's making them propped up but if it was just a bralette which would arguably be more sexy because there's less coverage it would make it more so i had a flatter chest, and it makes me feel less feminine, actually. This makes me feel like va-va-va-voom. Va-va-va-voom. So why did you wear that bra then today?

Because it was the only one in my drawer. Oh. That was, like, clean. And, yeah, it's so weird. Do your boobs change sizes, Noah? In terms of the month and like your nipples change and like everything? Not really my nipples, just like my boob size. It does increase a little bit closer to my period.

Yeah, mine get like they hurt and they get so swollen and like hard. And they look great, but they're just like, ugh. And then they deflate, and you're sad, and you miss them. They go back to being the way they were. Yeah, I can't wear certain clothes because I'm self-conscious about my nipples. If I wore a white see-through T-shirt, that's all I'd be thinking.

I couldn't do it. I wish I could, but one day. One day at a time. One nipple at a time all right try you ever think about wearing a bra the man's ear is that a thing that was on oh yeah seinfeld but is that like a real thing i'm sure i mean have you thought about getting a brush reduction no or nipple no i'm fine with it now i'm honestly like i think i'd be fine at this point maybe next show i'll wear like a see-through shirt to see my tits.

Like one of those burnout shirts. Yeah. All right. Next story. Smell determines your. Oh, I'm sorry. Pokemon. I wanted the smell thing.

And then I was like, well, actually, I bet the next story is going to be just as of interest to me. And then it was Pokemon. I was like, oh, dear God. Do you want me to smell them? I kind of want smell. Yeah, yeah. I smell you. Okay.

Smell determines your overall health, triggers memories, and you can smell like vanilla or urine to different people. The old blue gold dress. You can smell like vanilla. So the same smell. Some people smell Yanny. Some people smell Laurel. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Wait. My friend, Laura, hates the smell of popcorn because she thinks it smells like throw up. And that actually is a common thing that people are like popcorn smells like vomit. Interesting. Yeah. That's kind of like, yeah. Vanilla is one of my favorite scents.

And so is urine. That's true. And I eat a lot of vanilla. Like I put a lot of vanilla flavoring in thing. Every single coffee, every single oatmeal I make. You do love vanilla. So maybe my urine smells vanilla. Well, have you ever peed in the shower with a guy in there and he could smell your urine?

I got caught because the girl could smell it. Yeah, that's right. And I was like, was like no it's not you could see mine oh it's a very yellow yeah generally yeah i don't drink enough a lot of vitamins no i don't drink enough water i think it's a hydration problem but um that's interesting i've never heard that one before what's your favorite smell like you know one that you're like i love a fresh cut like a rain on after rain fresh cut rain fresh cut rain on grass fresh grass off rain yeah okay no i love the smell of like after after raining like after a thunderstorm that smell i like the smell of fresh cut grass um and i love the smell of like fresh cookies of the oven. There used to be a Gap scent in the 90s called Grass,

and it was so good. I want to try to find that. I bet there's some. Abercrombie Woods. Oh, yeah. Noah, do you have any favorite smells that are not typically, not like perfumes or anything?

I really love the smell of the ocean like seaweed has this very like particular smell it's it's kind of like i don't know almost rotten smell but i love it you like it it's interesting you say it reminds you of the ocean probably if if what sorry i didn't hear no the rotten thing isn't because i like to smell like a locker room can get like a mildewy, like rotten smell. Because you associate it with like a fun. Childhood, fun, football. Justin Fields.

He played for Ohio State. You know that. Oh, yeah, yeah. And also Charleston. What was the other one? Georgia. Georgia. That's right.

Yeah. But yeah, I like that smell. And it smells like shit. Like to some people, you know. Do you like anything? I love a permanent marker. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like an Expo marker. Oh. smell and it smells like shit like to some people you know i love a permanent marker oh yeah like an expo marker oh but after a little bit i was right i was journaling with sharpies because

they just i just love the feel of them and they were starting to give me a headache once so i i was like oh i'm probably getting high off this you know rubber cement that like glue yes that was a great smell i love gasoline i like ioline I like. I don't like gasoline. What the hell? People love gasoline. I knew Noah liked gasoline. I didn't know you did. Yeah, I love gasoline. I like a dog in a, whenever we go to the gas station, I just like stick my head out the window and just go.

You say dog and my friend Kirsten loves her dog's paws and says they smell like banana bread or something like that. Like the smell of a dog's paws often, or maybe someone online said that smells like that. How much do you think of smell though during the day? I don't, I think we've talked about it before. You're not a big smell person. Like I don't. I didn't know that I wasn't a big smell person until I caught COVID long ago and my smell went away.

And I thought, I thought that would be the worst side effect of Coke. For me, that was I didn't really get any other symptoms, but I lost my sense of taste and smell. I thought it was going to be devastating because of how much I love food. And I realized that I did not miss it because I still

liked all the same things. It wasn't like I was like, oh, I'm going to eat healthier now or I'm going to eat these things that I'm usually scared to because I can't taste. I love consistency and like creaminess. And so, you know, my favorite foods are really about consistency more than taste for me. I was blown away that I wasn't as affected by the smell thing. Although I did miss smelling my underwear to see if they were clean or not.

Or I did miss body wash in the shower and just being like, oh, I'm getting so clean. That eucalyptus nécessaire that I use that a lot of people got after I did a haul on this show. And I, yeah, I missed that. But no, I'm all about crunch and like smoothness when it comes to taste. Well, they say that, um, with smell, the, the vanilla versus urine, it's if you smell androstenone, androstenone, like if you're like, there's certain things that certain

people like. Yeah. There's certain receptors that they can smell things that other people can't. And if you can't smell that well, there are diseases that are like. More common that you're going to get. Yeah, depression, schizophrenia, Parkinson's disease. Great. Yeah, yeah.

No, I have a good sense of smell. I just don't need it as much as I thought I did. But there was this one time. Dogs could smell COVID in you now. I know. I heard that fucking wild i um that is that's ironic too you know because you lose it with covid yeah but um there was one time i bought a uh armoire or a credenza sorry from fucking cb2 or something anya bought it for me

she was at the store and she was like do you like this and i was like yes get it i mean she i purchased it with my money But she like Sent me a picture And I'm insecure about Like picking out furniture And think I have bad taste And I was like

Do you like it? She was like I love it I go then yes I'm gonna get it It arrived at our place And I opened the cabinet And every

I miss it so much Because And this is a weird one It smelled It's the only time I've ever smelled the smell Since Exactly

Like The psych ward i was in when i got admitted when i was you know 18 i was in a psych ward for like i don't know i don't even know how long it was some people think it was a week some people said it was a month i don't remember i don't even remember um which is really funny because i was reading that september 11th article that i was obsessed with in The Atlantic. And they were talking about how each person remembers something of how long this girlfriend stayed with the family of the guy who died. She was dating the guy who died in the towers and she stayed with his family because her family. Oh, like after the fact.

Yeah. And some of them thought she stayed for six months. She thought she stayed for a week. Others thought she stayed for a month. Like it was all over the fucking map. So, but anyway, this cabinet smelled exactly like that hospital. And I've never smelled it before or since,

but it was actually like, it just brought me back to it in a, there were some good things that happened in that hospital for me that I was just that only eyewitness, only I will ever, I'm not friends with anyone that I met in there even though i made friends and so it's just almost like this it's almost like a thing that's dead like i got to remember a thing that died to

me whoa it's really cool but then i sold it so i gotta find that again i wonder what it was it's interesting that you say that because like how do you know when people go on the stand they're like where were you on Tuesday, January? It just makes me think like if they like went through something crazy, like they're not going to even – they could put a – Oh, memory is completely unreliable. Have you heard of like how they'll have a mock – like they'll have a bunch of witnesses witness a robbery. A woman's purse gets snatched, but they'll set it up and then they interview everyone of what they saw. And it's like people think for sure

that they remember things correctly and they don't. So whenever we get in a fight where I'm like, I know it's that, I'm always in the back of my head like, no, you don't. You could be totally wrong.

And I'm like, she needs to go to a psych ward. Get in that cabinet. Get in that credenza. All right. Let's take a quick break and we'll be back with Why Do I Care? 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges

and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money

advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people. What's up? It's Questo. Questlove.

And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes, and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations,

like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? upon yes. years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved

sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy in my dog.

Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him.

Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Why do I care? I'm guessing this is going to be related to the Emmys. No. Oh, really? The Emmys came and went, and I did not even know. Well, we had a show, I guess. I know, we had a show that night, but still.

I know. I thought about that. I was like, everyone at this show didn't watch the Emmys, and so I liked it more. Not only did, everyone at this show didn't watch the Emmys and so I liked them more. Not only did not everyone at the show not watch the Emmys, no one watched the Emmys. Oh, do you have to do why do I care? Yeah, she does. Why do I care? Okay.

Why do I care? So at the Emmys, no, no. Chelsea Handler. Oh, I know. She's dating Joe Coy! Everybody get up! Everybody up! Oh my God. I'm so happy for her and him. I mean, I don't know them at all.

So I can't. I saw this last night and I was like, holy shit. Does it make sense to you? No. Oh. No. Read what she said though. No Coy?

Yeah, I know what she said. She was like, I just am taking this moment. She looks beautiful in this picture she posted on Instagram. I'm taking this moment to reflect on how important everyone is in my life and how many amazing people i have in my life and i also want to say that i am in love and the best kind of guy there is yeah there's hope for everyone that kind of stuff oh it honestly gave me hope i'm like chelsea was so um you, what's the word for it? Cynical about love. Jaded. Yeah, jaded when it came to finding a partner and just, you know, it dated guys in the past,

but she never really, I mean, just based on reading that one, her latest book was just like, it's not for me and I might not ever find it. And I don't even know that i'm like looking for it she just seemed like over it and not needing it which is exactly how i've been feeling recently of like my life is pretty fucking good without a partner i i mean unless someone is truly incredible and making my life so much better i just don't need it like there's i'm not waiting for my life to take off when i find a partner. Like it's already taken off. I, if I died tomorrow, no one would be like, Nikki never had a love.

No one would say that. Honestly, I don't think anyone would be, Nikki never had a husband or one true love. And I, when I realized that I was like, yeah, that's, it's not a part of my life. That's really, people are like poor Nikki. I mean, at least I don't think they are. And if they are, it's always inspired by me being like, I want a boyfriend. But I'm not saying that shit anymore because I don't feel it. But Chelsea and Joe Coy, she's known him since 2005.

He was on our TV show on the panel night after night. I mean, he was one of the fixtures of it. When I was going with him on the road and he was coying he was one of her most popular panelists and that's why he was able to coy and and have fans is because she put him on chelsea lately she would always tease him and they were like i think he was maybe even married at the time um but she was you know she would do the deadpan chelsea thing of just like making fun of him and he was like take her shit and like uh and I don't know I want I can't wait to find out how they got together and like what happened but they I think

it's so sweet because then he was spot they were together canoodling at some football game Dodgers game yeah or yeah Dodgers game and then TMZ asked him afterwards like what's with you and Chelsea and he's like she's just how beautiful is she she's the most beautiful woman and they were like are you dating he's like I I don't know but the way he described her like was just like oh man this guy's in love and you know I hadn't seen that footage prior to the story coming out but it just made me so happy for both of them and um yeah I just like I want to I want to coy for their relationship i coiled this weekend a bunch he got very famous after like recently i wonder if like how much of it is seeing him on like an equal playing field as opposed to like when she like when he worked for her you know what i mean

like and then they separated yeah i think he's been famous for a while now, though. It's so funny. The other day, Sarah Lena, my good friend, we were on WhatsApp sharing stuff, and she was like, have you ever heard of this Joe Coy? Nikki, you might have heard of him. And I was like, that's so ironic that I was just talking about Coying today. Of course I know Joe Coy.

She's like, I don't know, girl. I just was listening to him, and it just made me feel so much less alone because he talks about, you know, having a like Asian parents and how strict they are and how they'll never be proud of you and how they, you know, they don't love you enough and and all the like emotional abuse. And she was like, it made me feel like, oh, my God, I I didn't have a mom. It's not like I'm unlovable that's just the culture and i was like how wonderful that yeah she was able to feel that way uh about him like his comedy like an emmy award speech yeah she has a perfect voice for like to win an emmy she talks like this and she's not from she's from california city california she's my friend that's a model and she talks like this because she's from California City, California. She's my friend that's a model

and she talks like this because she grew up watching like old movies and she does, I don't know, girl. I'm worried but it was just delightful

that I was all cynical about Joe Quigg, you know, asking for a standing ovation by standing up and which, I will say it again and again,

he deserved it i mean he put on a show that i watched being like i'll never be able to perform that way and like have people that fucking pumped to see me and hey you got some standing o's this weekend but that's what i said i got to that point i did get some standing o's and um one could argue that i was coying because i did stay up there to address them because I was bringing you guys out. Yeah, I don't think you coied. You did raise the roof a little bit. I didn't do that. You all will get killed. Oh God, you guys, I want

to show you so bad the person that does that. Coying is brought to a new level by the person that does this subconsciously when she's he, she. Is it sub? And the this is just like raising your hand up and down for the people listening. Oh, yeah.

Sorry for the people listening. This is the most subtle raising. Okay. Walking out on stage. This is it. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Waving.

And just like upside down waving. Like waving and then just doing a sweep of like up. And you're in the audience and you go, you wouldn't even notice it, but it's a subconscious way to get people to stand up. And I don't even think this person, I said she already, I don't even think she knows she's doing it. Yeah. But it works. Because sometimes you do things and it's almost like evolution. Like you, this is getting a result and you don't even know that that was the behavior that got the result.

But now you're going to do it all the time subconsciously and you'll probably pass it like when you start talking with an accent without on purpose yeah but it's because it's giving you it's making these people respond to you in a better way and so you adapt so i'm not accusing someone of being manipulative but uh but they should stop doing that i I get that. Let's get to Reddit, Dom. I understand you there, man. Hey, let's go to Reddit, Dom. Let's get to Reddit, Dom. Let's get down to Reddit, Dom. All righty.

Karaoke mode. This is your Reddit, Dom. Ooh, karaoke mode. All right, so. Karaoke mode. I got some good ones today. I want to get to the ones that I saved a little bit ago, because there's one that's oh

wait no that one was so funny fuck okay hold on there was one that oh where is it it said like oh it was one if you if you heard this song and depends on what uh man i didn't save it i suck but it was one of those blue dress. What's the dress? It was either blue or gold. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of those. And it was like brainstorm or rainstorm or green beret.

It was like whatever word you're reading is what you hear. It's really creepy. Okay. This is from dating advice, subreddit dating advice. It says, shout out to women who communicate about sex. I met a gal a few weeks ago and have been texting and getting to know each other. I'm reading this. This is obviously written not correctly.

Things have been escalating and we made plans for this weekend. Pretty standard. This last weekend, she told me that since it looks like sex is on the table, for this weekend, we should chat a bit to make sure we are on the same page whoa she asked me to provide her with proof i am clean she did the same and we did a quick rundown of preferences and expectations and boundaries to make sure we are on the same page she told me how to handle her orgasm and so on i was so impressed by this it wasn't awkward but it eliminated so much uncertainty it was really nice to talk like an adult rather than assuming and just going for it.

I wanted to say how nice this is. Well, what do we think about that? I mean, yeah, that is something to ask for test results or, you know, to make sure someone's clean, like have all their teeth and everything. No, but I think like, do you have to show the date of the test? Like, I do think- Let's talk about the test aside. Oh, okay.

That's obviously important, and we all know that, and none of us fucking do it. I'm talking about the preferences, and this is how I come. This is what I like. This is what I don't like. Those things that we all kind of just enter into the bedroom and we start just like trying things out and there's something about trial and error that's fun yeah but i would argue that it's honestly not that fun and it's really awkward and it makes for a like i was saying on the pod the other day when a guy's going down on you or a guy's doing something to you and it's not what

you want i'm someone who has no problem telling people what i want you know that but there's something about sex that makes me feel like i don't want to ruin the mood by being too demanding about like oh this isn't good i don't want to make him feel insecure that he's doing a bad thing so i can nudge him in the right direction and say oh that's good that's but saying like that's not working because sometimes you're like oh just only positive affirmation well what if they're doing nothing positive okay so let's say let's say let's say before you even yeah so you don't do it while you're fucking or while he's going down on you you got to do it beforehand so what what would the guidelines be that watch my special banging banging i finger more i cannot

believe how many people i've hooked up with who have, literally have everything. But you wore a bra that night, so. That's true. No, I mean, I would say. No, what would you. What would I say if I were this girl? Yeah, like that's what I'm saying. Well, yeah, like what would your guidelines be?

How specific would you get? I'd say, hey, I have a feeling we're going. First of all, I don't have sex outside of relationships, so that wouldn't happen to me. But I have a feeling we're going to of all i don't have sex outside of relationships so that wouldn't happen to me but i have a feeling we're going to get down and dirty pretty soon and um i just want to let you know i really like finger stuff i really like more than one finger in me as many as you can fit um i like um and this isn't by the way i, I really- Is this an outline form? I like- Are you writing, like, I just like- Yeah, A, sub, sub, text, cliffs, then go back into the end notes. Yeah, yeah, so wait, so-

The bibliography. So you like more fingers. However, let me just start with foreplay. Like, you should not go down there until I ask you to. I like a lot of over-the-pants stuff. I think you can go down there when I still have my jeans on, like outside stuff, but I'll guide you when I'm ready for you to go in. Okay. But what about a guy taking control?

You're not into that, though? No, absolutely. Absolutely. If I put, if I, once, once we are, once I'm being penetrated by anything, that's a good time for you to like hold me down in any way possible and try to make me come. Just try. My, my thing is, I mean, if I could tell the guy exactly, here we go. Try to make me come as hard as you can without but like ease into it because a lot of times guys just like start fingering you like so hard and it's just like we just got started like that's for when i'm like about to come not let's like 20 minutes in and i know this is a

long time but like you know uh i would say um the the goal for me is always try to make me come, but don't say I can't until you tell me I can. And whatever you glean from that in terms of like holding me down, telling me not to move, all those things, I like that. But my biggest thing would be do not do anything unless I am. But how specific do you get about like the way you finger me because i feel like that's a thing with guys is we will do either the wrong way or like you talked about this before we're like oh i like it like that and then like a minute later that no the

second you say like that they change it yeah and i think we all do that in bed. I think women do that too. Like you'll be getting a blowjob and you're like, keep doing that. And you just hear that and you're like, that means faster or something. And so like you just shift as soon as you get some validation. But I think that's a big one too. The fingering style, I mean, just try whatever you like and then I'll eventually hold your hand and be like, like this. And like, or i'll eventually hold your hand and be like like this and like or i'll like demonstrate yeah but um but also i if i don't like something i will i will stop it uh if it's

something that's really not enjoyable and i'm not going to fake an orgasm so you don't have to worry about like that um i guess the only thing about like getting an instructional manual uh because it kind of takes this sexiness out of it when you're reading it like where to like how to put together a dresser but um no i think there's a sexiness to my point is though is like i i want to know maybe there's a way to put together to dress or a different way that you haven't experienced yet i'm just saying there isn't i've like you know what i'm saying i get it but guys always do this where they're like no i got it and it's just like no but there's been moves that been put on me or a certain kind of blow job or a certain kind

of way we're fucking that i've never experienced before that if i gave you a manual the manual would have changed i'm saying no and you're right I'm saying take this manual and then work within that and put your own, like, I like pizza, so I like these ingredients. Now, I can give those ingredients to many different people and I'm going to get a different kind of pizza each time. It's like that cooking show. With spices and stuff. Yeah. Like, show me what you interpret what you're going to do with all of this. Okay, that makes sense.

And I would also, so what would you say just to a girl leading up to it um in regards to what i like like yeah you're about to have sex like hey here's some things that i like here's some that i don't like anything like that um i love a blow job where you let the penis breathe a little bit. Like just constant mouth on penis doesn't work as well. I like hand with the mouth. I like it a little. What about pressure? In terms of pressure, do you like a lot of, like a harder pressure?

Harder pressure. Hard pressure. Every guy likes harder. Girls, we are going way too soft. You could beat the shit out of a penis but mateo lane uh gay guy mateo lane who knows a lot about sucking dick and receiving said that don't start with like your 10 like your performance level start with like a 3 amp it up to a 5 go back to 3 then take it up to a 9 don't go stay at 9 go back to a 3 5 10 like

what also depends on whether or not you want to have sex or not because if you stay at a nine then most likely i'm gonna have an orgasm and then we're not gonna be having sex or as much as or as there's a less likelihood you know what i mean because but yeah and then sex wise just reverse cowgirls fun right okay with my dude i've done this move i learned it in porn and it feels very yeah tell us i'll do reverse cow cowgirl and my legs will be outside her her her legs so my legs will be i'll be spread open and her legs will be inside my legs legs. Right. And it just, it works. That's good. That's a good move.

I like that. Have you ever done that? I actually kind of did something like that. Yeah, before. It feels very vulnerable for me. The positions you come up with sometimes when you're doing it where you're like, no, I need to call someone and let them know that this is a thing. Someone needs to diagram this because we just invented a new one, you know, but they had

to have all been done before. It's so funny. I gotta say though, when I described the blowjob where you're laying on your back with your head off the bed, people do not know about that. Well, it's a strange position to get into.

But it makes so much sense to make your throat, if you want a deep throat, it makes all the sense. I mean, there's still people out there that have to put the covers over them and then fuck missionaries though and stay within like three inches yeah okay well here's one that made me think of you this is also from dating underscore advice am i being immature for not wanting to date a girl i really liked after i found out one of my friends fucked her so i was talking to this girl for a while and i got to really liking her we

haven't been very physical as she wants to wait until we're actually boyfriend and girlfriend before we go too far. She must have read Getting to I Do. So she posted a picture of me on her Instagram story and one of my friends ended up seeing it. Later that week, we were hanging out. He mentioned it and asked what was going on with us. I said, we've just been hanging. I'm assuming my friend thought I meant we were just friends because he told me this. Me and her used to chill together. We hooked up a few times and she is crazy in bed. He said, I of course didn't want to hear this but now i have and i don't really like her as much anymore am i being immature or am i just or am i justified in not wanting anything to do with her anymore i would say andrew you would feel yeah i'm sure i'm sure people would say oh you're being

immature is it because this girl's gonna be is? No. You realize she's easy? I think when I was younger, I would feel that way. I think it's just like a level of just connection. And you're like, fuck, I can't believe he, one, got the connection before I did. Two, he'll know about that connection all the time that I'm now experiencing. Like those kind of thoughts. Is the connection like what her pussy feels like? Is that what you're talking about?

That could be one of them. That could be it. This happened to me feels like? Is that what you're talking about? That could be one of them. That could be it. This happened to me. What? Can I tell you? So I was friends with someone that I was also hooking up with in between relationships. And when I got into a new one, I brought my boyfriend around and my friend goes, she's a wild one in bed.

And I didn't know that my friend said that to my ex until we had an argument like way down the road and he just brought it up he had it stored i'm sure yeah he he brought it up like he never really liked my like the friend that said that and i was always like why why do you always get so like tense when he's around and you know like what what's the deal with that like why can't I just hang out with him and um I don't know I guess I never really got down to the bottom of what it was but I don't even think it was me hooking up with my friend I think it was more of like a macho thing it's definitely could be a macho thing but if you're if you have a close girlfriend right like one of your top five girlfriends and she slept with the guy that you're now gonna maybe date you wouldn't

think about that at all that's how you i'm with him now i got him and like it but what about when they like laugh together or like whatever like it wouldn't affect you at all you don't think honestly no because he'd be with her if he wanted to it's not like and and and you might argue like what if she rejected him i wouldn't be with someone who i thought wasn't like good enough for your friend good enough for like is is was someone that i was like oh he's not that good like she rejected him like i would just feel like god she doesn't know what good is like and you don't think it would affect your friendship with her um no i i mean i i don't i mean maybe it might like for her make it weird uh i'd or for the guy but i i just don't i i've had

boyfriends who are friends with girls that they've hooked up with and i've asked about it and they didn't tell me because or they were reluctant to tell me because they thought it was going to be a thing. But it just like if he wanted to be with her, he'd be with her or she'd be with him. And so I just kind of feel like I won because whoever I'm with, it always feels like a prize anyway. So it just is more confirmation of that. Like I got them in the end. If you find out more specifics though, if you're like – if your girlfriend was like before me, was like, man, he fucked me for 45 minutes and he went down on me for 25 like he did all this shit and he wasn't doing it with you then it would be you

know what i mean like there could be issues there like right oh she's a freak in bed and then you're banging her and she's not doing anything and that's probably this guy's problem is because he can't sleep with her yet because she's waiting until they're more official but this girl probably just oh yeah and she slept with the friend she probably drank a lot i mean that was in the past like there are guys that i hooked up with that i would never hook up with now but the person i am now is such a better person that you're getting than the one that hooked up with them but yeah i get like being like oh i i don't want this car because someone else drove it but I just it's like get over it final thought this one is from uh the subreddit ask men men what is the best decision you have ever made in your life this guy says stereo food says learn to say no to big decisions even under

immense pressure you don't have to agree to anything that's not fair to you even if it makes the other person mad yes that's right I mean that's what if it makes the other person mad. Yes, that's right. I mean, that's what I say all the time is like, don't do things just because you feel bad. Don't do things just because you feel bad. That is not what anyone would want from you. Like you wouldn't want someone to do something for you just because they feel bad. So, and if you do, then you're a weird person.

Yes. Yeah, I think, well, circumstances, context, I don't know. I think there's times where it's harder to make a decision selfishly if there's other things to lose from it. But I understand doing something selfishly. Like, for instance, yesterday you took a later flight because I made us late for the airport. We couldn't check our bags in time.

I took the earlier flight because I just went on without bags. You stayed behind for a later flight that got in way more late, so inconvenient, just because I put us in that position. You may have done that because you probably didn't want to do that. Who would want to do that who would want to do that but you did it because you were a good friend and i hopefully was like gracious enough to you to make you feel like okay she's not just like it's she's not being an asshole to me by doing this so there's there's a part of doing things as a favor and being like oh this will make my friend happy and make her life easier and then there's one thing of doing it just because you feel bad I mean I think I mean I I think it was less about friendship and more about like on the weekend I work for you mm-hmm if I'm gonna be completely honest

if it was just straight-up friendship I would be very upset right right so I need so with our we we just have a weird relationship like that i mean but i look at it like you know if you're in the army and your boss tells you to do something that's that is inconvenient you do it because the the greater good is i made good money this weekend i had great shows and there was a lot of positive and i want to keep doing that right right that makes sense but i i do think that in certain circumstances, let's say we were traveling as friends and I had to get back for a thing that I had early, that you might do that just out of the goodness of being a friend.

Yes, yes. You've done stuff for me like that before. Of course, of course, but yes. But saying you could be more furious at me, but you could have been furious at me yesterday too. It completely would have been fine. I mean, I was furious at myself but i feel like to for you to say i would have been fucking furious is not i mean what do you want i would i i don't know if we could go back i don't think i said

fuck i think i said i'd be more upset i maybe i said did i say furious you said something like which was very angry well i would have been upset because like, if. Because I made us late and then you have to stay behind because of my thing. Yes. But in some times in life, you. You don't think you would be upset if I did that to you? No, I absolutely would. But what I'm saying, if I knew you had to get back for something and you were like, I'm so sorry.

Fuck this. I really fucked it up. Like, I'm sorry. That there might be a world in which I would go, yeah, you did fuck it up. But okay, I can do this. And then like next time you'll get me when something like this happens. And I think I was. I'm not saying that.

So that's why I was saying that was maybe a little bit of that too. Because I feel like I was apologetic in the best way I could be and took ownership of it. Yes, and I think I was understanding the best I could be. Yeah, you totally were. You were so cool about it. I was like – it was so nice. So cool.

Okay, some other people said on this thing, the best decision they made, long-term investing. My only regret was not starting much earlier in life okay that's a common one once i found someone said once i found three pounds of meth working at ups i was using at the meth i was using at the meth at the time and decided that would ruin me i turned it in oh oh that was the best decision they made that's cool that's a great one found three pounds of meth he was on meth at the time and he knew better yeah because first of all he probably loses his job not only is he meth addict but now he found four pounds i've heard uh this one was good dropping everything to pick up my

son before his mother could move six hours away with him she went down a bad path for a few years and when i got the text that she was moving and taking him with her, I dropped everything and went to go get him before she could. Thank God my boss at the time was a good dude. I told him the situation and he told me to drop everything and go. I didn't even have to ask. He just said, go get your son. Ten years later and my son is doing well. It hasn't been

perfect, but the ups and downs he's turned, despite the ups and downs, he's turned into a great young man. Oh, that's cute. That's a good one. Are there any, what's turned into a great young man. Oh, that's cute. That's a good one. Are there any, what's your best decision you ever made as a man? As a, when stakes were high, like something like that. Just like you look back on your life.

It doesn't have to be the best one. What's a good decision that maybe other men could learn from? My toughest decision, well, I've quit a lot of things, which I think looks, a lot of people look at it negatively. And I think we've talked, we talked about this last week about how quitting is could be the strongest thing you've done. Yeah. Quitting the job that I was working for my older brother where money was good, but I was not doing what I wanted to do. I was having insane panic attacks. And instead of sticking with it and manning it out I ran put my tail between my legs back to Florida and uh and it caused arguments between

me and my brother and uh yeah it was a really tough decision to make at the time and uh yeah I don't know but you Simone Biles yeah simone biles i chose my mental health first but probably in the future you would want to catch it before you would just like abandon the shop like you're the decision overall was good but like the way you executed it could be oh i've made so many like where i've quit you could quit quitting can be strong but how you quit you can do it in a way with a little bit more tact but at the time you just can't because you feel like everything's on your shoulder yeah it's like ghosting like you sometimes i just stop showing up for work or like one time this i i quit and the woman was like

calling me being like you have a paycheck here like come get it and i was like too embarrassed to like show my face back there so like i didn't get paid for like my last two weeks of work because i just was like you just left You just left a paycheck there? Yeah, it was my first job. So sorry to the En Vogue Salon in De Pere. Sorry, Mary. You were really sweet to me. Why did you quit though?

Because it was just – I was really bad at it and I cried on the job. And at the time, we didn't have computers keeping our schedule. So it was like all pen on paper and I was crying because i overcharged this woman like 500 accidentally by pushing an extra zero and i was cried and my my tear the woman that was my boss was over my shoulder comforting me crying at her business for and she and my teardrops smeared like five appointments because it dropped down and like it was just wiped out. We had no we had no way of getting them back. So thank God for, you know, we got to go over every job we've quit on here at some point.

I've quit so many things. All right, guys, I got to quit this show today because we're out of time. We'll see you tomorrow on the show. Don't be cut. And Jackie Jack. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content

just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network,

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult.

He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica.

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Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.