The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #107 The Cat Wanted Out w/ Seth Glassman

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

Between you and Nikki, the other side of fear is freedom. Andrew needed a nap this morning after actually going out and doing something last night. Nikki can't quit her coffee order and reenacts how she asks for it. You Heard It Here First, the top funeral songs of 2021, MGK/Corey Taylor beef and Nikki does care about Nicole Richie burning her hair. Andrew's BFF Seth Glassman joins to share what it was like rooming with him. We learn a lot about Andrew, Nikki gets some closure on a restaurant experience and an unknown behind the scenes story about "Ragu" from FBoy Island comes up. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration.

It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser podcast. It's Wednesday. It's Wednesday. That's what I meant to say it like it's Wednesday. Oh boy. What a show we have for you today. We have a special guest on. I'm excited to have him in. It was an impromptu booking of just like, I want to hear

what this dude has to say about my co-host, Andrew Collin, someone who knows him very closely and personally and has good stories about the way he was. Because like we were talking about on the show yesterday, you only like remember things the way you remember them. And there's always someone else's side of the story. And Andrew is very good about presenting himself as he was in the past like telling the really like sad parts of his life and some of it makes me want to cry just of how um oh man there was a story this weekend about he and his girlfriend getting a cat which I'm sure he just got this cat to like impress her because you know his college relationship with this girl was just him like trying to win her back then he would get her back he would like work out and get in

good shape and take care of himself stop drinking she would come back to him then he would fall apart again and then she would reject him and then the other day I guess we talked about this on air the other day he was like she never went this on air the other day. He was like, she never went down on me. And it was like, yeah, because you didn't wash yourself. Like we figured out that she wasn't just like frigid or not giving. It's like, you know, you look back on relationships and you can, when you hear one side of like a breakup, it just is so easy to villainize the other person and not have any perspective of like, no, I've heard about your past boyfriends and I'm like, oh, I hate them. But it's like if I talk to them, they might have a little tale to tell, you know? Oh, so many.

Do you feel like, I mean, there are things that I'm like very ashamed of in relationships in the past. And I kind of was talking to one of my exes today about – he was kind of talking about – he does a radio show here in St. Louis. And he was talking about – I listen to the radio show every morning. And he was talking about podcasts, like what's the most niche podcast that you would want to start? And they were just talking about different funny ideas. And he said to me just in a text, like, oh, I would love, I want to start a podcast where people who've been talked about on podcasts come on to set the story straight and say, like, it's called, like, The Other Side. And I was like, oh, I know. And then I went into this whole apology again to him

of like I was in a bad place. And he was like, oh, I didn't mean this to like bring up something. I was just like saying that's an idea. And I'm like, no, it's not. First of all, it's not a bad idea to have, like it would be interesting to have a podcast where it's like two sides of a breakup

where the first episode you've, well, I guess I've done that before with like different shows that show the different ways people have interpreted it like um i guess the affair was like that did you ever watch that show no i never watched it it was about the two sides of an affair and like how someone's what what they what happened on their side of things and then of course the taylor swift song that i or the songs that i love so much um from folklore where she writes about this like high school affair you get all the sides of the story and you can empathize with all the characters because it takes two to tango but um you know uh it's what what would ex-boyfriends say about you no uh in terms of like no don't make me reveal it

really I mean you don't have to you don't have to but like they would say that I was jealous I was like um like probably unhinged I think would be a word they would use unhinged is a really that's the new like nag you know what I mean like there's certain words for women that's the new like nag you know what i mean like there's certain words for women that's the new cunt i would rather be called a cunt than unhinged or spiraling like that's a trigger for me oh just spiraling i think is worse if you look up the word if you do um you know look up crazy in a thesaurus any word that follows that is would be one that I don't like but unhinged means she doesn't know how she's coming off like that person that's my biggest fear of like people are talking about me behind my back of like oh no the elephant in the room is that Nikki is crazy I don't mind being told to my face

I'm unhinged while I'm being unhinged but when it's like later on I found out people have like talked about it and they're like yeah you we kind of all noticed like you were pretty unhinged like that would be I don't want to be like an old cabinet door I don't want to be unhinged I like yeah what are other adjectives that I just cannot stand? I mean, when Joe Rogan called me a lot, that hurt. But I let it in, and I use it now as my intro. Andrew, when he brings me on stage, he says, like, you know her from the roasts and her comedy specials. And Joe Rogan called her a lot. I just like it because it kind of does prepare people for what they're about to get.

I am a lot. And that's okay. But it was interesting to talk to my ex and like this morning kind of go over. Because we've already talked about it extensively about where like when I would, you know know misrepresent things in podcasts my side of the story and it was like I was in pain and I didn't know how to deal with it so I was just blathering on and making myself the victim because I was like so I was I didn't I didn't respect myself at that time I was like in the depths of like just, you know, abusing myself with food and pot and just like overworking. And like if you are, you know, we all know this, but if you're treating yourself like shit, you're definitely going to treat other others like crap because um yeah and it's it's hard not to I was a total bitch this weekend and I regret it and I owe like I said I owe an apology I mean I already apologized but

I think I owe another one and what I would like to say is how I well I did that too we kind of talked about it it was with my tour manager and, you know, Anya, my opener is my tour manager's girlfriend. And my tour manager is like this amazing, accomplished musician, Matt Pond. Matt Pond, PA is his name that he uses as a musician. But he's incredible and like so hardworking and just wants everything to go so smoothly. He's always trying to do his best. And we landed at an airport and there was no plan of like how to get to the hotel because there is a small airport. There's no Ubers.

There was no taxis. And we were just all kind of like looking at each other. And if it were up to when I travel alone, when I used to, I know that this is a small airport. So I've already looked into what am I going to do to get there? Is there a shuttle? Is someone from the festival picking me up like and we all just were kind of like looking at each other like wait I thought you knew wait I thought you knew and I'm like if I would have known that we didn't have a plan I would have done it myself and then I just hate

waiting I hate getting somewhere and like just sitting around and waiting I'm really uncomfortable with it and that's my problem you're really you're really'm really uncomfortable with it. And that's my problem. You're really efficient with your time. It's something that I really love about you. Like, you know how to like plan your day, like, like to the T, you know exactly how long something will take what at what minute you're gonna arrive. Yeah, you're so efficient with time. I love that. I really am. I mean, I haven't been great about it with you, because I'll be like, seven minutes, and then it'll be more like nine minutes. But usually I am am I mean I haven't been great about it with you because I'll be like seven minutes and then it'll be more like nine minutes but usually I am really good about I will be there yes I was running late for a sound healing session and I go I'll be there supposed to be there at four I was

like 409 and I got there exactly at 409 like I'd rather say that than 410 I'm I always but the thing is, I leave no space to wait. Because when I wait, I feel, I just get so angry when my time is being used to just do nothing. You know, I could always be on my phone or I could pick up, I could read something. I could read an article. I could sit down and read while they figure out the car situation. I didn't need to freak out and be like, I need to know where we're, like, it just was unnecessary. And everyone's trying their best. And, you know, I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. So part of me is like, I need to scare everyone with my mood so that they know that this is not to happen again.

But that's not the right way to do it. And I hate when people shut down and I would rather a confrontation of like why don't we have a ride who said that we were supposed to and like look someone in the eye but I'm so bad with confrontation that instead I am talking as I'm looking in my phone and just like muttering under my breath then I go and I sit over by myself and I I'm like, I'm just going to take care of it. And I go off by myself and leave everyone. It's just like, and then I'm in the car on the shuttle to the hotel and I'm just quiet listening to like my music. And it's just like, you're creating an air of like, I'm pissed and everyone has to sit in this fucking water that you just pissed in. Like I peed in the hot tub and it's

just rude. And I think everyone relates to it. And I know that people are going to be like, Nikki's such a bitch. Why did you do this? I'm telling you I was a bitch. I'm aware of it. So don't get mad at me. Everyone has, there's no one on earth who hasn't let their anger get the best of them in situations. I'm able to look at it and go, o I don't want to do that again how can I not and I think it's just a matter of I don't I mean I don't know what do I do in that moment I think it's a matter of realizing everyone no one's trying to make me mad like that's the thing I always beg when I make someone mad or would make my ex-partners like mad.

I'd be like, will you just forgive me? Because I promised you it wasn't intentional. Like I'm not trying to hurt you. So will you just extend that it's like forgiveness because you know it's an accident. Like if I was maliciously doing something and trying to connive a way of like I'm going to hurt him, which I've done before to people. It's just a disgusting thing but I I have been premeditated in my uh like bitchiness but um I want to say people I want to say that like you acknowledging this on the show and going through it is not making an excuse

for you doing it I think this is a process And like you said that you used to be like, you know, like when you would do this, it was very like premeditated. I think this is like a, like a, a fate, like phase that you have to go through before you learn how to deal with what happens to you emotionally. Yes. Yeah. You have to, you have to walk yourself through it and go, okay, this is what happened. And it's so embarrassing. I mean, none of this is like, and this was two days ago. This wasn't years ago where I'm like, oh, I've changed since then. And yeah, I guess I just am reluctant to share things because in the past when I've shared that I was bitchy, people have been like, Nikki treats all her friends so terribly.

And I'm like, I told you I did. It's not true. I'm aware of it. Right. You don't have to tell me and you don't have to talk amongst yourselves about it and um I'm trying to be better I know it's wrong but I mean for the most part I think that I've I've gotten a lot better at it and I just I just have to remember it's like the golden rule that's like do I would I want someone to do this to me but then I go I would never fuck

it up this way I would have done this and it's like yeah you would have but you're not the person that this person is so maybe their experience the way they handle things wouldn't have thought a thousand steps ahead I'm very I just think too many steps ahead and you're right Noah like today I'm having lunch with a friend and I get done. I'm, you know, working on writing a book and I have a meeting with my gonna tell him 2 45 because even that is too much time in between things I just want to go boom boom but I go what are you doing today I actually go let's do three o'clock so that like maybe I have time but here's the problem if I make it three o'clock I'll pick up my guitar and I will get lost in a song and I'll be like one more and then I'll be late but if I'm stacking things I don't have time to get distracted in between song and I'll be like one more and then I'll be late but if I'm stacking things I don't have time to get distracted in between I think it's an ADD thing I don't know I'm just

very um I I also last night Andrew and I went out for the first time ever we socialized wow we went to a bar um on Cherokee Street if you're familiar with St. Louis it was called Whiskey Ring K we said the name was K uh my friend Taylor is in town she's from um she was in Tulum with us and then um she's in town for like a wedding and so we met her and a bunch of her friends down there and then I was like Andrew will you go with me and then I invited a couple people who are in town who are going to be following me around with cameras. Can't really get into details about that, but I met them. And we're about to start that process. There are people that moved to St. Louis to follow me around with cameras is all I can say right now.

And they're living here for eight weeks. They live in L.A. and New York, respectively. And there's, I think, five people here just living here for eight weeks like they live in LA and New York respectively and they like there's I think five people here just living here and so I invited them out too because we're about to start this thing together on Saturday and honestly when I went out and decided to do this thing where I get followed around with cameras. I didn't understand like how much time they would be following me around. Let me just say, I just thought, I don't know what the fuck I thought. Honestly, no clue what I thought this was going to be. Found out last night in a like fun bar setting that it was going to be 10 hours a day of being followed by

cameras let me just say I almost started crying and I couldn't I had to like keep it in because what that said to me and by the way my only break from being filmed 10 hours a day is going on the road and working and traveling all day and doing shows at night. So for the next eight weeks, I have zero days where I'm not working, like literally zero days. I've set myself up for this. I asked for it. I started kind of panicking because I'm like, I need sleep. And I like to stay up. I like to, like 10 hours a day, that's a fine work day of being followed around. but I'm doing activities all day I mean this isn't just watching me play guitar and like talk to Andrew in my kitchen this

is and make my bed maybe like this is going out and doing things which you know you guys know I don't like things and I kind of freaked out Noah like I just got really quiet and started thinking like oh my god like I thought it was maybe a couple hours a day but why would a crew move out here for a couple hours a day that's doesn't make sense like this is going to be a lot of work but then I was like okay it's eight weeks that's fine and I'm honestly doing this because I want to be totally okay exposing like every part of myself and it's not because I'm like I think I'm so interesting I need the world to see and this needs to be documented I mean maybe it's a little that but it's mostly like I think this is for me to put

myself out there as much as possible so that my biggest fear is people seeing me for who I really am and not them not liking it like you know intimacy so getting close to someone having them see all your flaws and then being like actually you're not what I thought you were you suck and so I'm doing my biggest fear of like I'm not gonna be able to hide who I am at all in this I'm not buying a new wardrobe for it I'm not cleaning my house I'm not doing anything different I'm not buying a new wardrobe for it. I'm not cleaning my house. I'm not doing anything different. I'm just like being myself, wearing my hair the same way, not getting hair and makeup done for this, going to be on camera, normal. And it really is, I realized last night, a experiment for myself to accept myself for what I am and not try to present anything else to the public or wherever this ends up. I can't tell you where yet. You know, like it's not, it's, it's for me to go here I am.

And if you don't like it, that's okay. I'm going to live. It's like dancing with the stars. Like I thought dancing live on TV and getting eliminated first, if you would have presented that scenario to me before I went on that show, I would have said that is the worst thing that could ever happen. I'll never recover. Well, guess what? guess what it was fine and now and that taught me things that you fear um if you set yourself up to do things that you're scared of on the other side of it you just you have this immense freedom of like oh I could do anything you know like uh do you ever what's like a thing you've done Noah that you were really scared to do that you did even though you didn't want to but like you did it only because you you know that feeling on the other side of it and did you did you know you were gonna have that feeling because i didn't know once you lean into something

you're so scared of and get through it it opens you up to a world of possibilities not just that thing again but like anything yes uh i i guess i would say like camping or any kind of like mountaineering or thing really outside my element like ice mountain like didn't you go ice yeah I went ice climbing just like doing yep something that I would never even imagine myself doing god I mean I get nervous when I try to fix my ice maker and lift the little bar up so it starts making it again And like I'm gonna That kind of stuff Yeah you

And you've done you've competed With in Jiu Jitsu You've done horseback riding You bought manuals on how to fix your house Like you go into things that you're not Naturally like no one would go Oh yeah that's what Girls that's what a five foot two Are you five foot two to fix your house like you go into things that you're not naturally like no one would go oh yeah that's what that's what girls that's what a five foot two are you five foot two five foot three

five foot three like girly girl would do and then you realize like i mean i have a joke about it in my act and i don't want to ruin it but like after i licked a man's asshole one time i was like that's the most disgusting i never ever would have dreamed of doing that i would maybe a night a nightmare about doing it but i would never want to do that it wasn't like i was like i want to and i'm scared like even dancing with the stars i wasn't like i want to i was like i actively never want to that's not don't ever offer me that and and and the same with licking ass like at one time and i hate to be disgusting but on the the same with licking ass at one time. And I hate to be disgusting, but on the other side of licking a man's asshole,

I was like, I can do anything. I could be president. So, let's get Andrew. Andrew! 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need

to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

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These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis and former Prime Minister of the UK Tony Blair.

And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions. Limitless answers. Hey, Andrew.

Yo. Yo. I was just telling Noah that we went out last night and socialized. Whoa. It got wild, dude. We never socialized. I'm so glad you went because at first you were like, I don't want to go. Well, I just woke up from a nap ski.

I was a little tired ski. Yeah. Did you say the name of the place? Yeah. Whiskey Ring. Whiskey Ring, where you don't know what's gonna happen but you kind of do it's just like a bunch of people drinking outside but it was a cool it was a cool vibe i liked it by the way st louis hipsters are so much cooler than brooklyn actual hipsters yeah

because they're like their parents aren't rich they're paying probably 200 in rent to live on top of a rat like you know what I mean? They probably travel by rat. They really are. They're like hipsters. And I was looking around, I was like, I kind of respect these hipsters because they're not...

They're not... They're not... They're not. They're just the way... They're just different. It reminds me of how my stepbrother is like Florida. He has 80 tattoos,

but none of them are ironic. It's like my dead cousin, my wave, a snake. But they're cool, but he just- There's no sense of irony. No. Your cousin probably doesn't even know what- He doesn't even know why the snake would be funny to anyone else. It's just a cool snake.

Yeah. I mean, he's Jake the Snake, right? Yeah. Why is he that? Because he's got a snake on his arm. Okay. Well, that's hilarious that the snake tattoo preceded the nickname. Did you want to be Andrew the Jaguar?

It doesn't rhyme, though. Andrew the... What are you, Nikki? Age-inappropriate tattoo? Yeah. age inappropriate tattoo. Yeah, Nikki the maybe we'll get her eyelashes tattooed one day. I mean, I would like to get a tattoo

one day just to... Because it's just this preciousness about not doing it is almost kuh. Yes. Like, you know, like being like, I don't have tattoos is kuh too.

Saying you don't have... I was watching this TikTok video that really made me laugh. People that don't drink coffee. They're like, I don't have tattoos is kuh too. Saying you don't have, I was watching this TikTok video that really made me laugh. People that don't drink coffee. They're like, I don't drink coffee. Like this girl was making fun of people that say they don't drink coffee. I mean, they are better than the rest of us, I think. They're just like pure human. Because we're all fucking doped up on this thing that we all think is like makes us normal.

But it makes us insane. We're all, that's up on this thing that we all think makes us normal, but it makes us insane. That's why we all have anxiety disorders because we're just imbibing caffeine all the time. This mainlining, it's a drug. Yeah. That's so... If you never think it's a drug, just go to the airport and see the line at Starbucks

and see the line for Chick-fil-A. I don't know what they put in Chick-fil-A, probably coffee and chicken. Fat and sugar and oil, Chick-fil-A. I don't know what they put in Chick-fil-A. Probably coffee and chicken. Fat and sugar and oil. You know? And salt. One time I was at the airport and the line for Chick-fil-A was like a mile.

And then you know how McDonald's copied their chicken sandwich? I didn't know that. Pretty much verbatim. They tried to. It was called the Southern Chicken Sandwich. And the lady working at McDonald's goes, We got the same sandwich, we got the same

sandwich. We got the same sandwich. The lady, she just kept going, we got the same sandwich. I mean, when I have to go Dunkin's instead of Starbucks or like a Pete's coffee or a Caribou coffee, I just am like a little bit, you know, it's just, there's some,

they figured out something that makes it addictive. It's not about like it actually tastes better. I just don't subscribe to that. And you know how I feel about coffee. It doesn't taste good. Children would drink it if coffee tasted good. When children accidentally drink a coffee, an iced coffee thinking it's a Coke, they spit it out in disgust. Unless it's super sugary, which is why people add sugar to make it taste better.

Have you ever said your order on here i mean probably let's go through your order because it's a it's it's a fun one i spend twenty dollars a day on coffee it's your only vice i am not proud of that i don't think it's cool it's actually kind of to even say that i do that like it's so it's embarrassing no there's nothing it's not because i to even say that I do that like it's it's embarrassing no there's nothing it's not because I don't think I'm cool

but it is that's why I don't like give having people buy me coffee because it's too embarrassing to tell them what I want yeah I often just send a screenshot

of the order from the mobile app because writing it out looks like I'm sending a text message an apology to someone you know it's just a tower of text.

This is how I order. Can I get a – and it's in this voice because I'm already really sorry that I'm ordering a salad from Subway. It's the same voice. It's the same voice. I'm about to be a twat. So I just want you to know that I'm going to tip you enormously on the back end of this so um yeah can i get a um venti extra hot almond milk latte uh with two pumps of sugar and then and then they type it in and i go and they go is that all

and i go with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla all right is that all can i get anything else and two stevia um we have a sugar bar i'm like oh oh you implemented that again okay great i'll put it in myself okay thank you so much and then they say then it's just and then i say sorry yes i wonder if they like if it's they get absurd orders all day long i mean i follow the subreddit and i know exactly what they get and like how ridiculous it gets this is not terrible in terms of a drink to make as a barista this isn't the worst of the worst. I'm saying it could be fun for them to get an absurd drink. You know, like I get a fucking small coffee with oat milk and two steaks.

They're like, oh, boring. Maybe it's fun for them to put in nine pumps and get it right. And like, I don't know. We have to ask. Yeah. Or they hate it. Or they hate everything. But I just know that their favorite drink when you order it, besides I think maybe just a regular drip coffee with nothing, is an iced chai latte.

Why is that the easiest? It's just ice and then you pour in two things. As opposed to steaming and then mixing and shaking and blending and all these other things. Like ice chives are, in terms of the manpower that goes into it, the most marked up thing. It is so interesting. I think like you're talking about how coffee is a drug. Wheat is a drug. But if you make it commercialized and like a fun sign, like you could sell anything. It's like Big Pharma or whatever selling oxycodone.

But it's in a pharmacy. Like it's like big pharma whatever selling oxycodone but it's in a pharmacy like it's just interesting like if you package something right you could you could lie to everyone and be like oh wow i mean i i see you eating things all the time that are like have a green package so you think they're healthy like i know your brain well i eat the cardboard around it like you'll buy those juices a lot of times not a lot i've been anti i haven't been mr juice but i used to be mr juice i see people drinking juices and smoothies and it's just this illusion of health because it's fruits and vegetables right like how could that be bad and it's if you look at those

the sugar content it's three snackers i mean it's it's insane and i'm getting my broccoli but it has a but it has a vegetable on the cover of it on the package I mean everything is marketing I mean that's what we talked about with The Edge the comedian is like that's all marketing that's using people's stupidity

and the way our brains work people especially ad geniuses and people who sell this stuff go in and go you, we've done studies. And the Facebook, the color of the font on Facebook, the shape of the C and how they – every little thing. Starbucks, the color, the music they play, the wood they use. The hot girl with the green face. The way they call their employees partners.

And it's all done so that you buy more. It's not done because they're good people or because this is good for you. Hey, it's just a small town coffee shop that was started in Seattle in a little marketplace. Yeah, we saw it this weekend. We didn't go into it. Everything is smart. I mean, I'm fascinated by it. I really want to get more into the psychology of things and why we do things.

I mean we got into an interesting discussion last night about polyamory and monogamy that we should follow up on. I started like reading up on polyamory because I'm just like, yeah, I think that's what we're meant to do. And I think that monogamy – like i don't know i just can't i just came upon the idea of i heard this once but people are like no you can't you can't be in two relationships and love two people equally that's not possible like if you have a if you have one boyfriend you can't have another boyfriend you're gonna you're not gonna love one as much as the other one's always gonna get more love okay that's what everyone says. I would never let my boyfriend have another girlfriend

because then he's going to love her more than me or he's going to love me more than her and I'm not going to get all of him. What about when you have kids? If you have one kid and then you decide to have a second kid, does anyone go,

I don't think you should have that second kid because you're going to have to split your love. You didn't even fuck the first one no i'm just fucking no one's no one says that about when someone has five kids they don't go well well how many partners is too many do you however many you want like i just feel like if you told me i said this last night to you and i'm not saying that i want this because i think that the thing is when you it's all about sex when you bring sex into something it changes it that is the difference between friendships

having children and pets multiple pets when you have multiple sex partners and having that like love intimacy people just cannot handle sharing that but we share everything else if you said to me Nikki I don't know your friendship with anya

like we're best friends and you say anya's your best friend too like i think you need i you it's either me or her because you i need your like best friendship i would be like fuck you andrew like what are you talking about i'm not allowed to have more than one friend that's insane yet for some reason we all go oh you can't possibly have two boyfriends. And it's like, wait, why? If everyone gets tested and we take that – Well, I think if it's an open communication, you're honest about the situation. I just think like if you're dating one and the other one doesn't know – No, no, no.

I'm talking about honest. Yeah. If it's honest, then I think it's fine. Of course. I honestly don't have arguments with it. No, no, no. That's not the point. My point is, yeah, there are people that are fine with it and honest.

There's poly communities. But I'm saying, no, there are so few. If you want to be polyamorous, it lowers your dating pool down to nothing. There are so few people. And it's all based on ownership. It's also interesting. It's like, well, once you classify yourself as dating someone, then it's exclusive. But anytime before that, you could date multiple people, sleep with many people, like many

people. Not openly. Not because you can't. Well, you don't ask, don't tell. I know. But then if you want to date someone else while you're dating this girl, you're worried that she might see you with them. If you ran into each other, it would be a whole mess.

I'm agreeing with you, though. I'm saying the point is, like, we go from, like, you could date multiple people and you can go on different dates. And you need to date more. You need to like a lot of people. Yeah. And then you go from there to one person. Yeah, you're right. And it's like a big jump.

And there's nothing really kind of in the middle of, like, let's kind of date and kind of love each other and multiple people. I just had a really like, I don't know, an awakening yesterday where I was just like, wait, why do we only get one? I'm really like... Well, how about this? Right into the show, if you're a married couple

and you're happy and explain why it's great to be married. And then if you're polyamorous, let's hear from you and explain why it's great to be married. And then if you're polyamorous, let's hear from you and say why it's great and maybe hear from actually people that are going through it. I don't want to prompt that yet because we haven't gotten into why that's the prompt. You just jumped a big thing. Yeah, yeah, I went big.

I went ham. We got to get to the news, but I just want to bring that up. And if anyone out there, I will say if anyone out there is in the poly community and wants to forward me any research, scientific research about why it works, why it doesn't work, why monogamy even exists, and any books, I would really like to hear about it and read about

it. But don't come on to me and ask me to fuck you or anything like that. I don't want that. Yeah. I don't want someone to be like, I would love you to be one of my girlfriends. That's not what I'm looking for. I just i want research on it let's get to the news you heard it here first yeah you heard it here first oh boy it's wednesday and you know what that means our video is coming out on youtube i don't know what our name of our channel is going

to be but do we know do we know noah uh yeah the nikki glazer podcast but do we know? Do we know, Noah? Yeah, the Nikki Glaser podcast, but we're going to, there's a link on it on our Instagram page. Yes. And when time is it coming out? I mean, it'll be out by the time this episode is out. So, yeah, the episodes are going to be like a few days behind like the video release.

So Monday's episode is out today on Wednesday. Right, and at about 2 p.m. Eastern time. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, so by the time this podcast is coming out today on Wednesday. Right. At about 2 p.m. Oh, beautiful. Eastern time. Yeah. So by the time this podcast is coming out. Awesome. It's well online. And have all the swells.

Never forget. Well, that's not. Never forget to say that. Analyzing over. Analyzing over. What? Analyzing. That's a fun word.

Wait. Just say it. I know it. Analyzing? That's a fun word. Wait, just say it. I know it. Analyzing. Okay, yeah. Over 300,000 songs from Spotify playlists, the world's most popular funeral songs for 2021 are revealed. Oh, I hope you have this.

Is that on there? Good riddance? Cigarette Daydreams. You would know it if you just play itdreams. You would know it. If you just play it in your ear, you would know it once you start playing it. It's one of those songs, but I can't believe it's number one. See You Again. I don't know that song.

Really? Nope. All right. Well. Keep that elephant in that cage. Yeah, he's getting in there. See You Again by Charlie Puth. What is that song?

I want to see you. It's like the sad song he wrote on his keyboard. Thanks for letting us know how he wrote it. Wait, I don't know that song either. I bet you know that one. Charlie Puth? Play it, play it. Let's see.

This is so funny. You go to someone's funeral and you're just mad you don't know the song. Okay. Really? He died and he picked that song? It's not even coming up for the see you again. It's not even there's a Miley Cyrus see you again. Puth.

Puth. I mean, it's literally not coming up. Well, it's a Wiz Khalifa song. Oh, yeah. In the long time. Out to my friend and I'll tell you. Oh, yeah. In the long time out to my friend and I'll tell you. Yeah, that one. Oh, Taylor Swift sings a great

version of that in a live with Wiz Khalifa. And she's like, oh, it's so good. You guys got to check her out singing that live with Wiz Khalifa. Mr. Lover Man, which I played. Ricky Montgomery. Mr. Lover Man. Just a sad singer-songwriter guy.

What do you want at your funeral? What song are we talking? I don't know. So this made me think differently because, you know, you got Supermarket Flowers. You got Take Me Home, Country Road. Or take, yeah, Creep, I'll See You Again. Like all these sad ones. Creep?

So I creep? Oh, no, no, no. Radiohead. I was going to gonna say what the hell i'm a creep and i would want to do the choral version that was i don't want no scrubs scrubs i mean like will you please put scrubs on my funeral playlist that's what i'm saying you have to there's just one at like when there's the slideshow playing of all my memories. Number 12 is Super Bass by Nicki Minaj, which made me think completely different about my funeral.

Super Bass. Oh, no, no, I know. This one was for the boys with the little assistant, that little girl singing on Ellen. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, got that Super Bass. Why is that a funeral song? Are you kidding me?

Why are we picking sad songs? Why don't we fucking do some fun shit? I mean, New Orleans funerals are the best. There is, you know, I guess maybe it's in a minor key. I don't know anything about music, but there is something about the background noise of the super bass song that starts out. It's like, there's a little bit of like a sadness to it.

And I know minor keys are the ones that make things sadder. Yeah, there is a little bit of, like, a sadness to it. And I know minor keys are the ones that make things sadder. Yeah, there is a little bit of, like, a... What do you want to play at your funeral tomorrow? Well, that kind of changed how I would view it. I think it would be very funny to play Dead Wrong by Biggie Smalls and Eminem. Because it's so inappropriate. Oh, I don't know that. Just to see, like, some people going,

Is this someone played a wrong song? Like, I just want one person and maybe then in the middle of it it switches over to some john prine song and then back to dead wrong and they'd be like i had your goddess even in death my dad should do your puddles theme song oh i'll sing it with him wait you think your dad's outliving me here i mean based on your eating habits super base no my dad is probably gonna last a pretty long time although he is tall and tall people don't live that long yeah why is that because they have to hold their hearts maybe if he has a lot to support it's a you know it's a how tall is he though he's like six two he's yeah six two

yeah that's not so tall though where, where it's like 6'10". They die from just falling. Just toppling over. Yeah. Just being so high up there. Just steel beams melting it. Jet fuel melting them. I don't know what I'm talking about.

What, paper airplanes hitting them and then they melted them? Yeah. Okay. That's a good one. Do you believe that airplanes in the night sky you're like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now wish right now what happened to that guy bob bob i don't know bob haley haley whatever her name is from paramore she's got a great voice she's so good yeah i like her a lot she does a great version of uh use somebody kings of leon she does

oh you know who does a great chris cornell does uh the guy that died yeah um what the fuck song did he do oh god it's such a good rendition it's acoustic and it's in serious i i forget the name of it he did on howard probably i think so And it's so funny. I love acoustic versions. You don't realize these rock and roll guys, they could obviously hit these notes. When they're just acoustic, you're like, oh, they're like the best singers on earth. Yeah. Oh, you just think rock and roll is just screaming. I mean, not like Slipknot, who got taken down by MGK.

Oh, yeah. What did he say again? Oh, I saw that. Did you see that, Noah? Yes Oh, yeah. What did he say again? I saw that. Did you see that, Noah? Yes, I did. What did you think? What did he say for our listeners and me? They were both performing at Riot Fest.

You sent me this. You sent me this. That's why. Sorry, go on. And they were both playing at the same time and um and mgk goes something like oh uh he said that you're here then yeah he said to the people like at his show yeah like to the crowd better than you're here than some old guys and like weird masks 50 year old men and weird masks and uh and but because slipknot said you know we don't change or you know essentially they were calling out mgk for being a failed rapper and that's why he went

into you know blink 182 it got a little it got a little deeper than that because when i found out more details apparently apparently uh cory taylor was supposed to do some tracks on machine gun kelly's song and machine gun kelly uh like had a lot of notes for him that and it travis barker like forwarded an email and after cory taylor started he's like you know what i think this is like not like i don't think i'm the right fit for it the lead singer of slipknot yes okay what did he tell him to take off the mask and act your age and put on a polo? Put on a polo shirt. I did see a really funny meme on Reddit last night that said like Metallica fan. And it was like some guy dressed like heavy metal.

And it was like Metallica lead singer. And it was a guy holding like a Versace shopping bag in a polo with like white shorts and like a cut like perfectly cut hair with his kids i love that i love that too um but someone wrote made a tweet though of mgk being like fuck you you old fucks like we're young and then it just circles on the bottom right 31 like like he's 31 which isn't old and he will be old i'll like to see what he does with being old someday because he talks a big game. He better act his age at some point too. But I love his use of weird.

We talked about it yesterday when I was talking about the vegan shirts. I said, getting a shirt that says eating animals is weird. Is that going to be triggering enough to people who eat animals to be like, no, I'm not weird. But when MGK says says weird because we heard it first in his diss track for eminem where he goes hey give him some clippers his fucking beard is weird and like calling eminem's beard weird is so funny because it's the perfect way to describe it because if he said it's like disgusting or like like uh whatever sporadic or whatever weird

is just sporadic did you just watch clueless this weekend and learn a new word I'm still big he literally just watched clueless with me and there's a scene where I don't remember they say sporadic yes she's teaching Ty how to be a better more articulate and she's like you know Ty like

we'll do it sporadically and she was like like what is that word share like I don't even know what that word is and she was like sporadic it that word share? I don't even know what that word is. And she was like, sporadic. It means once in a while. Try and use it in a sentence today. And then later on,

Josh is like, all right, see you around time. And she goes, yeah, I hope not sporadically. Well, Eminem's beard is sporadic.

Sporadic? No, it's not. It is because he doesn't have, it's not thick. Okay. Well, it's thick, but it looks like it's,

it's once in a while. His beard is once in a while. He has like hair plugs. Yeah. thick. Okay. Well, it's thick, but it looks like it's hair plugs. His beard is once in a while. He has hair plugs. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's take a break and come back with Why Do I Care and your special guest. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early.

Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Can you hear it? It's the whisper of two wolves inside you. One says, you're not enough. The other says, keep going. You can do this. They're always talking. The one you listen to shapes your life.

I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. On my podcast, we explore how to hear the voice that matters, the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction. Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's your turn. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. good people what's up it's questo quest love and uh team supreme and i've been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of quest love supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss now one of the things i love about this quest love supreme podcast is we got something for everybody every type of musical ever we enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed.

You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend, Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata, Matreya, Kathleen, Hannah, and the RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right.

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique.

Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts seven questions limitless answers okay why do i care why do i care oh man i don't know if you're gonna care about this one to be honest i really don't it's on the fence for me okay uh nicole richie's hair catches on fire while blowing out candles at her 40th birthday party it's on tiktok she's blowing out her candles her hair when people i like that she's 40 when people get caught on fire i like people they go and then it like gets bigger and then And then they're like, oh! Like, watch this. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. It really catches.

And her husband wrote the first comment, that's hot, which is pretty funny. That's hilarious. Did it, so was her hair long in that or did she have extensions in, Noah? No, it's just her natural hair, shoulder length. Oh, dear God. That is my worst nightmare. I do care about this. I hate when my hair burns.

Have you ever caught on fire? I think my hair is going like, you know, it goes like, like when it burns, a hair burns, it goes. And that smell. Oh, that smell. I was like, oh, that's what dead fucking. I know. My dad used to come down to his dressing room when I was in high school.

Me and Taylor, who you were with last night, we used to iron our hair. Taylor's so funny. Right? She's so creative. Aren't my high school friends insanely funny? She's very cool. I like her a lot. Do you see where I got it?

I'm not even as funny as them. It's insane. She's very- Kirsten and her- She's her own thing. She's singular. It's pretty amazing. She's amazing.

Without trying, but yeah. We used to iron our hair. Yeah. And like with an actual iron to get that Jennifer Aniston real straight, straight hair. And we had the straightest fucking hair going because irons, we didn't have chi irons, like hair irons back in high school, early 2000s. We had like shitty ones that would not get hot enough and our hair would still be frizzy until we discovered the actual iron so we would go downstairs in my dad's like you know my closet like their little closet

room yeah and put our hair on it and go and like iron it and my dad would come downstairs go god it smells like god it smells like the holocaust down here i'm like what why do you know what that first of all no it does like he's like it's burning hair. It just smells like... I'm just like, that is a terrible... You're like, we're just trying to be pretty, Dad. I was like, am I as skinny as them, Dad? Yeah, is that what you want? Get on my knee, babe.

I like the smell of burning hair sometimes. I don't know why. Maybe it reminds me of high school. I saw this guy. He did a shot, and I did this in Greece, where they pour the... what's it called? Uzo or whatever. Like it's a Greek.

Greek liquor. And they pour it in your mouth. And then they light it on fire in your mouth. And then they throw cinnamon. That's a tough word. Cinnamon on top. So it sparks. And it's called the volcano.

Oh. So I'm like. And then you put out the fire by swallowing it right that's the shot where i was in a bar like where the guy so there's a tiktok where it went all over the guy's face and he's like and then he knocks out the fire and then he goes oh my god yeah when you're that drunk you cannot feel pain and when you're that embarrassed of lighting your hair on fire you don't even like and you have like third degree burns and then you look like what i like ever like the burn victim face but you're not making fun of a burn victim i'm just saying

that oftentimes they are smiling yeah um oh dear we gotta bring in your friend oh dude this is this is gonna be weird for me, but also great. My best friend, one of my best friends. Oh, wow, there he is. Seth Glassman. Can I say your last name? Yeah, of course. Seth Glassman is here. You can say anything about me.

Really? Anything? Whatever you want. Seth Glassman is our guest. He is Andrew's college roommate. They met in the dorms. Is that where you met? We met actually when

we were about 10 in summer camp at Kutcher Sports Academy. So we were friends at camp and then I found out he was going to Tulane and I had a different roommate who I got rid of to have Seth be my roommate. Okay. And Seth, where do you live

now and what do you do for a living? Uh, I currently reside in Los Angeles and, uh, I've always been in the restaurant business. Okay. I've heard of you. Andrew's original roommate.

He claims he looked like me. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, I should have been, I should have been your roommate. Cause we look alike. Like he kept telling us that we should have been friends.

You and your old roommate looked like you. He looked like Seth. Oh, he looked like Seth. So he wanted to be roommates with Seth and kick you out. Maybe, actually. I mean, Seth would have liked that. I think it was almost like, Andrew, you called me up almost like you wanted to be my girlfriend. So we knew each other from summer camp.

And then he calls me up. We got our roommate assignments. And he calls me up. He goes, Seth, I really want to room with you. And we had to go through this process of switching roommates. And then finally we got together. Little did I know it would not be a good decision on my part. Yeah, Seth, I wanted to have you on the show because I have obviously heard about Andrew in college

and the penis pump incident. Were you a part of that, the penis pump story? I was. I was an intricate part of it. Were you the one that found the penis pump? I was. While you were looking for a lighter in his desk? Yeah, why are we even friends anymore?

You ratted me out. Yeah, but time heals all wounds. Tell us your side of the penis pump story at what point in college was this like how far into living with andrew um did did this happen okay so first of all um thank you for having me on obviously andrew great great friend don't set it up nice before you ruin me no but, no, no. I know, but I'm also, like, I've become, you know, I listen to the show, and I want to thank Nikki and Noah. I think listening to them, I've kind of gotten to know them, which is great.

So I love the show. Great job, guys. Awesome. I feel like I know you, too. I'm glad you're here. Yeah. So, you know, a summer camp in New York, your parents just wanted to get rid of you for two months.

So they sent you up. So as a New Yorker, they sent us up to upstate New York. Andrew's parents disliked them so much, they sent them all the way from Florida to New York. When I was seven. They just disliked being parents.

It felt personal. Perhaps it was. I'm trying to lessen the blow, but yes. They sent my little brother, who's five. But anyways, go ahead. Yeah. Okay. And then, so now, okay, so fast forward. So yeah, freshman year roommates in college.

And yeah, I was the one who found the penis pump. So definitely an intricate part of that story. How soon was it a regret that you were living with a guy who, you know, didn't do his laundry, doesn't really know how to take care of himself? Because Andrew truly, like, had no clue how to be an independent person. Oh, yeah. It was really bad back then. That was the first time you lived on your own, right? Yeah.

So how soon was it a deep regret of yours that you accepted his proposal of living together? Day one. Day one. Day one. Tell me about, like about some of his, what could you have not foreseen happening that was happening? First of all, day one, you got so fucked up that I tried to open the door to our dorm,

and I couldn't because your head was, I was hitting your head with the door. You were on the floor, passed out in your underwear and a referee shirt. Yes, yes. And we will get to that story no there's no doubt about it but the thing Andrew the difference between me and Nikki rooming with you now 22 years later you probably have like this big place in St. Louis there's probably like

some separation like a living room in between your two bedrooms I was in the same room the other thing the difference between and he was at that point, listen, he's grown so much. Andrew's... Not much. I loved him back then. I don't regret because there's so many fond memories from that year. But, I mean, he was so disgusting

underneath, and he's talked about it on the show, I believe, but underneath his sheets in the dorm room, there was M&M's. So there was M&M's in between the mattress and the sheet. It's good for your back. He really was

a little bit lost, but so was I. Yeah. Was there a smell issue? Were you embarrassed to bring girls back? What was his... He told me that he was pretty depressed that year and it's actually not funny. After the penis pump thing you really got depressed and like never left was it weird living with someone who wouldn't leave their bed and like go to class and was just you know he said that you almost lit his pile of clothes on fire well now i feel bad

don't he's fine he's thriving now to that depression after finding the penis bump i feel really bad no i mean you definitely did contribute to it swinging it around going what is he going he's swinging around he goes what is this well remember you guys you guys now you talk about it and you even play this game where you go into each other's room and you try to find something to me yeah we didn't have all these toys and all this stuff going around. Sure. I hadn't been privy to that. Andrew was a virgin at the time, but still went and got an STD test. Yeah. And, you know, I honestly didn't know what it was at first.

Yeah, and I started waving it around and stuff like that. You called 20 girls. You called 20 girls. Yeah, we forgot that part where you got a room of people you filled the room with people like a surprise party for him to come back and walk in and see you swinging it around going what is this what is this and andrew what did you say that's my penis bump i think i think similar to maybe comedians now and you guys could, but I probably crave the tension as well.

Sure. And you find a penis bump. It's like, I'm sorry, you were definitely going to call someone out on that. You're a freshman. We're all immature. Yes, of course. I love that he did it. It's amazing.

But then they all left. They just laughed at you and then left the room and left you in there for eight months. And then I tried to make up a story that I bought it as a gag for Seth. Oh, boy. And that backfired because there was lotion in it. Let me ask you something, guys. If I'm on this show, does this go on my IMDb? No.

I don't even have an IMDb, Seth. No. Okay, so listen. There's a little known fact i was on an episode of hell's kitchen like 10 years ago oh yeah what did you get yelled at by old gordo no i was a judge and and i actually had a line on the show i was like a celebrity judge they were doing a competition uh and back to the original point i've been the restaurant business my whole life so i was operating a steakhouse at the time

and they were doing these burgers. Like the chefs were doing these burgers and I had to judge the burgers and I had a line. And if you go back further, this is not on the IMD page, but I was in the fourth grade performance of West Side Story. Oh, okay. Fourth grade? They were doing West Side Story?

Yeah. Well, Andrew and I are 41. That doesn't make a difference. I just feel like it was... I guess back then they just didn't care about doing tragic... Well, Seth also took an acting class in college and he thought he was going to be an actor, but you hear his

voice. He's from Long Island. It's very distinct. He talks with his hands. He's like, hey, over here. Seth Glassman with gel in my hair. Who did you play in the fourth grade play edition of West Side Story? I was a shark. I was Pepe. My girlfriend in the show was Consuelo.

As actors and comedians, you guys all appreciate this. I practiced for seven months. I went to these rehearsals, two rehearsals. I had one line. I had one line. It was right before the number I like to live in America. I had one line. I had one line. It was right before the number, I like to live in America. I came to America with my heart open and I came to America with my arms open and my girlfriend Consuelo said that line. And so mine, the line was,

you came with your mouth open. Yes, I know that line. I know that guy. I nailed it. I nailed it. I had seven months of of practicing but i nailed that one line well what happened where where did your dream get derailed what what when did you give up on being an actor because i i also wanted had dreams of being an actress and realized they i'm not i must not be good at this because it's i'm not getting any roles where when did you when did your dream die you know what uh i don't think the dream ever really existed. I think it did, though. I took the attention, but New Orleans, as far as a professional standpoint, New Orleans really did impact my career because it heightened the interest in the restaurant business.

Great city for food and cuisine and culture. Fell in love with it and moved to L.A. You worked for a guy when I got arrested. He was in jail on a DUI. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. Cafe Nino's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you want to go, originally, I was a pizza boy.

I was a pizza boy. My mom and Tereza's on Long Island. Tell us, okay, as a guy in the restaurant industry, tell us as patrons of restaurants, what are some things you guys are talking shit about us about like what's the most annoying thing um to get like to hear about back in the kitchen or like what's what's something you guys know about us that we might not know about ourselves in terms of being customers um well everyone thinks of us as you know people

in the hospitality business and we like you and we want to take care of you. We don't. No. We don't. You don't care about our day. You don't care that we had a great evening and that we enjoyed our meal and about we're celebrating this anniversary. You don't care. But that's your whole thing.

You go up there. You go, hey, you want a good table? I got you. I'm going to take care of you. That's not real? No, secretly I'm lying. Yeah. Do you feel, do you leave, do you, is there a part of you that feels sad inside that you're living a lie?

Like you have to go in and like, and maybe you are getting to act every day. This is your. No, honestly, it would be exhausting. Let's backtrack. I truly do love what I do. Yeah. Why do you love what you do? It might be that people pleaser in me. I like to show people a good time. I get genuine satisfaction out of people, especially now you talk about the last two years. So people are using, you know, this is an opportunity to get away, right? To have two, three hours with their friends and family, enjoy themselves. And to be a part of that and to see their smiles on their faces is actually pretty rewarding.

Yeah. Okay. I'm glad to hear that. Do you have a family? Do you have a wife? Do you have kids? Never married, no kids. The restaurant industry is very, I feel like there are a lot of single people. It tends to just breed people that just hang out at late night, at late hours. You guys live kind of just party lifestyles.

I guess it starts out that way. As you age, have you kind of stopped doing that, or are you still in that lifestyle? Definitely approaching eight years sober. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, what led you there? If you don't mind me asking. I don't mind at all. You guys can ask me anything. It started affecting my life you know like i feel like i couldn't be and it sounds like generic but like the best person i could be so once it started preventing you know my production and and the way i was um can you give me an example of how a time where you were just like oh like was it the hangovers was it the being drunk itself the saying things

you didn't mean following up in the morning with texts of like, what did I do? Just being tired. What was it? It was always a fun drink. I mean, you can go back to Andrew's first story. I mean, I was 17 years old, you know, 1997. Well, we got down, we were freshmen in 1998, but I was still 17. So I was maybe 18.

We go down to a French Quarter for the first time, 11 o'clock in the morning. We're walking down the French Quarter, all of us in the doors, and I ask for a shot of tequila and a beer, and the guy lines up three shots of tequilas and three beers. At 11, I said, what is this? This is three for one happy hour. At 11 o'clock. So at that point, it was going to be an interesting four years,

and it kind of, you know, that night, yeah, did lead to me on the floor. Passing out in front of the door. Yeah, on the floor. You got a big head though. I don't, maybe you were like across the room. He had a lot of gel in his hair too. He's fine. Still a lot of gel.

Depth. Depth. Yeah. Yes. I combined. Well, here's the thing. So during the pandemic, people started going for like toilet paper and sanitizer.

I had a buddy of mine because I was actually in the Midwest at the time. And I had a buddy of mine from California and he was worried that I was going to run out of gel. He sent me like two tubs of that death so I wouldn't run out during the pandemic. What happens to your hair if it doesn't have that in it? Like do you – have you – are you even willing to try? It's good dry. It's good dry. It's good. It's just, that's what Andrew says every night. I do like it like that. Wait. So, okay. I want to just get back really quickly.

You're coming up on eight years of not, of being sober. Andrew's coming up on three. Yeah. Three years, December. I'm coming up on 10. I'm just sober from alcohol, but thank you. I'm wondering, like for people listening, I think that whenever the subject comes up, it's kind of just interesting because either, I'm sure people have either stopped listening at this point if they still want to keep drinking

and they don't want to hear about people who, because I remember when I still wanted to drink, I didn't want to hear about people being sober or like that lifestyle because you just think it's so impossible. Like your life, I'm guessing, revolved around drinking probably every night. It was who you were.

It was part of your personality. What was it like when you first stopped? Like what, how, was it as hard as you thought? Was it, what? Yeah. To your point, I don't think everyone tunes out. I don't preach, right? I don't tell people what to do or what's best for them and stuff like that.

So, you know, when when asked about it in this perspective, I just tell, you know, my story. Right. What was best for me and how how my life improved after I stopped. But, yeah, I mean, there was, you know, in the restaurant business, it is conducive, but there's a lot of, you know, jobs that are stressful or late hours and stuff like that. But I don't know if all the jobs necessarily have like a full bar at your disposal, you know. It's not Mad Men anymore. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess I'm asking, did you, when, you know, let's say nine years ago,

could you have ever envisioned your life without alcohol was that something that like could you have pictured your life without alcohol no it wasn't until i realized that like yeah i wanted to do it for me a few other people had mentioned it to me oh it might be a good idea to stop um but until i physically decided that it would be the best thing um and then you know everyone everyone's got their own story. You know, for me, I'm blessed because I really don't think about it all that much. And as someone who's around it daily, literally. Does it make dating hard?

Let's talk about that because I find that it's just so, it's such a social lubricant. You know, people, liquid courage, all these things. Like the idea of having sex with someone for the first time, even making that first move with a girl. All of these things are so, or a guy, it's so much easier when you've had a couple drinks in you. Like drinking on a first date just eases this awkwardness that's in the air of like, are we going to see each other naked later? Did you find that your dating life changed a lot uh after you ceased to drink not not for me uh not for not for me i i would assume that there are some women who are like a little weird about it right oh should i drink around him

or i i want to drink like a lot or or whatever i don't know yeah I don't know it it could affect you know I'm talking more about your experience though let's like no it's pretty personable really like yeah like so what was compelling you to drink in the first place then because so often I think people drink because they want to get out of the discomfort of socializing or like you know for me it was like oh, I really want to have sex, but I'm so scared of it. Oh, this thing makes it very easy for me to be intimate with someone. Like what was drinking helping you with? Sure. I'm sure there was underlying issues that I was trying to push down and trying to hide. But I also liked, again, this goes back to, to partly,

you know, the people pleaser and wanting to to be the host right i wanted to be the life of the party right so it wasn't enough to you know if andrew had six i also i'm competitive if andrew had six strings i wanted to have eight you know i just kept yeah i was always like rallying people you know so it was like you know and andrew was very nice for saying it. I was always a very personable guy to begin with, but I wanted to take it to even another level. What were the three things you bragged about in college that you never experienced? Well, this was before we had cameras on our cell phones.

So I never really owned a camera. Okay. This is how he'd introduce himself pretty much. No! I'm Seth. I don't own a camera. I don't own a camera. I've never had a nosebleed,

and I've never farted. What? Yeah. Yeah. And then what did you say when you go, well, what about when you shit? He goes, oh, this sound, when the shit hits the water.

Yeah. Wait, have you still, are you just not someone who farts? Nah, I finally farted. So you have to For eight years you've been farting. Yeah. Now it's been a real problem.

That's hilarious. Yeah. Has your nose bled yet? No, nose is not bled. And even without the phones I did have like a little Polaroid What? Has your nose bled yet? No, nose is not bled. Okay. But, and even without the phones, I did have like a little Polaroid at some point. Okay.

All right. Out of those three, we're actually only down to one. All right. If someone really wanted to knock it loose, they could probably punch me in the face, and I'm sure it would bleed. So then we could cross everything off the list. What's the restaurant you work at so people can punch you in cross everything and then you probably fart what's the restaurant you work at so people can punch you in the face and maybe you can promote it on your

i don't know oh well so here's the thing nikki alluded to it in one of the first episodes where she was um she was doing a comedy bit and she was outside katana and they wouldn't let her oh my god yeah yeah yeah so that guy that woman was so they were so weird to me i'm not standing there mickey i want you to know i fixed it i fixed it you did yeah i i addressed it i addressed the issue but i didn't bring up your name or anything like that but i addressed i i've had dinner there and it was such a good dinner and such a good experience actually so wait so what happened so i was waiting for david spade to come pick me up i was wearing a ridiculous outfit because i was doing a paparazzi shot before then i was wearing that pink outfit okay and i didn't want to stand like on the street

on sunset like people it was still at like light outside and i was waiting for him to come pick me up and so i was standing in front of katana and they go you can't stand here because you're not like going to dinner here and i was like he's he was supposed to pick me up at the store but I didn't want to even walk by the store because there were comics there and I was dressed like uh you know like cowboy Barbie and so I go can I just stand here and um the guy kind of didn't say anything and then the woman came up and she was like sorting menus and uh now that it's fixed I feel bad about this but I just go she she kind of looked at me and was like, can I help you?

And was like, very nice, like, hi. And I go, oh, I'm sorry, I'm not eating here. I'm just like waiting for a friend to pick me up. I'm so embarrassed because of the way I'm dressed. And she was like, you can't, then you can't stand here. And I was just like, please, I go, it's gonna be like a minute. And she was like, I'm sorry, you can't.

And I was just like, really? And I had to walk into, so there was construction on the sidewalk. There was no sidewalk. So I had to walk into this like fake construction on the sidewalk there was no sidewalk so I had to walk into this fake sidewalk they made on the street people probably thought you were a hooker

they totally did and then David Spade picked me up so they 100% do so I get in the car and I literally just pulled down my mask and I was like thank you so much to the guy that ratted me out I just gave him a real look, and I felt very victorious. But thanks for fixing that.

And I honestly did have a great meal at Katana one time. Oh, that food's so good there. Yeah, so that company, Innovative Dining Group, Sushi Roku, Boa, Katana. Oh, yeah. Again, I lived in LA for the better part of 20 years, so a lot of it on the Sunset Strip and, you know, upscale, nice restaurants and great company to work for.

Well, thanks for fixing that. Let's get to the final thought. I want to know, and I hate this question, but why are you single? Okay. Do we want to talk at all about the frat house burning down or no? We don't have time. Don't try to flip it on that.

We're talking about your fire. I mean, the frat house burning down is such a tragic story because Andrew got this goddamn cat with his girlfriend that you were probably just trying to impress her. So you got this expensive cat that didn't even live a year. She couldn't keep it in her dorm, so it ended up living with you in your dorm room. No, fraternity house.

Or your frat house cat in a room yeah which was also where the lyrics for um hit the bottle uh she hits the bottle oh my god did you find the bottle oh yeah i of course i read it but but but the lyrics burned down he had to redo it see everything burned down wait so tell me when you found his poetry tell me what we how did you find that that's better than the penis pump no a lot better than the penis pump i i have a little different spin on the on the the fire the okay okay so okay so literally it was after finals it was on may may 2000 may 2000 okay right yeah may may 1999 or whatever. May 2000. We finished finals for the year. I was

actually going back to New York the next day. I was going to come back to New Orleans for summer school. We go out to dinner. It was like five or six of us. I believe when the house started burning only one person was in the house. Andrew, correct me. I think it was Paul. He ran out of the house. Unfortunately, the cat didn't make it.

The firemen, when they were going through everything. The cat didn't make it. Paul lived. There was a pause. Okay, the cat didn't make it. He held the cat up and he said, whose cat is this? But it was dead, sadly enough. Oh, God.

Yeah, that was the mortality. Sorry about that. Did he go, what is this? As he was swinging it around like he was a penis pump? Like a helicopter, like North Carolina. Yeah, and he threw it away in the garbage. Jackpot. I can get into that.

And now it's a tattooed jackpot. You know? Okay. So I go home. Okay. But here's the thing. So the house is burning down. We get back to the house.

I'm looking. So we're like three blocks away. And we're like, oh, there's a fire. There's a fire. And then as we're getting closer, we're like, oh, it's the frat house. And so we spent like the next two or three hours outside the frat house basically watching it burn. And I got a flight the next morning to go home. I'm surprising my mother for Mother's Day.

So I don't know whether to get on this flight, what to do. I have no idea. My stuff's burning down, you know. And so I was like, all right, I'm going to surprise her for Mother's Day. I just get on the flight. So I surprised her and it was a nice Mother's Day gift and stuff like that. But I walked into the house and this is, again, showing my age. I had a newspaper under my hand.

I read the newspaper and I still had soot on my face from the smoke. And she hadn't seen me all semester. And she's like, what happened to you? What happened to you? I said, Andrew burned down the frat house. You look like a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins. It's like Andy Garcia from that movie where he saves someone. You know?

So. So wait. That's right. No? I don't know. What is it? In any case, my mom goes, well, what do you want to do? She was very nice.

She's like, let's go get some underwear and socks. Because I didn't have anything. I mean, he burned everything. He had a referee shirt. You're welcome. Yeah. Lost the whole. You found Andrew's poetry, though, which he had written in his depressive state.

That explains why I lit the house on fire. To get rid of any evidence that you had emotions. Where did you find this poetry? And what did you think when you found it? So technically, I guess we were roommates two years because we were roommates in the dorms freshman year and then sophomore year in the Pike House. We weren't living in the same room, but there was like 10 rooms in the Pike House and he lived across the hall. Now our room, people like to hang out. It was me and our other friend, Glenn. It was nice. It was

comfortable. His room was, again, disgusting. He still wasn't at his adult stage yet. It would have been animal abuse to have that... The cat did itself a favor by dying in that inferno based on the condition it was living in in his room.

The cat wanted out. The room was a litter box. I think in the whole mess of the room There was like this piece of paper on the floor And I picked it up and I went back And I started reading it to Glenn And then he later explained to us that it was About his mother

And it was called She hits the bottle, she goes full throttle Were there any other Well I know you guys are trying to do some songs together So I think This should be revisited as you enter yeah add a couple minor i think it's a great idea to re to to write she hits the bottle we need to do that as a country song i think i got a good singer for it too i think it would really help you um process some feelings yeah i'm down all right i would do anything for the charred remains.

Like burnt like a pirate's map. That would look so cool. I'd frame it and everyone would go fucking insane. Why are you single? We have one minute. Oh yeah. I don't know if I could sum it up in one minute. I mean, I think there's women

over the course of my career that I might have worked with, but to me, what does that mean? You just women over the course of my career that it might have worked with. But to me, I mean, what does that mean? So you just said over the course of my career. That's I think that just answers everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bad sign.

Oh, maybe I could be on FBoy Island. I mean, honestly, if we did an FBoy Island with like older people which i i would love to do because these dating shows no one knows what they want in their 20s these things aren't gonna last yeah i would love to have someone like you because it's what if you'd be amazing i only ask because i'm 37 and and single as well and and i get asked that a lot and it's like i am interested now in people our age who haven't like had long i mean i don't know about your dating history, but aren't married with kids and why we've chosen that because clearly we've chosen it.

Because if we wanted it, you can get it. Especially if you're a man. Yeah. So I think a few things. So first, on F1, you're right. It would have been awesome when a few people got eliminated if Andrew came out.

I mean, he would have been the only one with a gray beard. We tried. We wanted to have him be a character named Ragu, who just was an older man that showed up. He had these like neon sunglasses, like blue blockers. He was at these gold chains.

And so he would just show up as a joke. Like we would show up on set and we'd be like, Ragu's here. And he's just wearing like basketball shorts with like dirty flip flops. And like in my head, I was like, Ragu's here! And he's just wearing basketball shorts with dirty flip-flops. And in my head I was like, maybe they will put me on tonight. Maybe the joke will happen. The short answer, I always envisioned myself

being a young father, but I never really fell in love with someone to the point where I was like, alright, I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. Well, good for you knowing that you're not just going to do it to get it done and you're waiting for the right person because that's hard to do and um and yeah like we all have dreams of certain things and maybe you dream of being a young father or an actor and those things don't end up looking like you think they're gonna look and

i always look at david letterman becoming a father at the age of like 60 or something like he i think it's probably something he wished he had done sooner, but it's definitely not something he regrets having done later. You know what I mean? Like that changed him. The Letterman we have now, that's just like this, just his young son, he's like, you know, probably in his seventies at this point, but his son is like 12, 13. I don't know.

I just, I think there's something. Being an old dad isn't so bad, and I think it could still be in your future. A grandfather is usually a great father figure. Yes. They've let the ego go. They're not working as much, so you might as well have a kid at 70. Yes. They're going to see you die in three years, but it's fine.

A little wiser. You got a cool beard. A little wiser. You're wiser. Wiser. And they don't need to be picked up or have you around when they graduate. I'm going to throw a ball with my son.

It's like, shut up. He has plenty of kids to throw a ball with. It's fine. Seth, it was great having you on the show. You were amazing and just a perfect guest for someone who might not be broadcasting every day of their life.

It's sometimes iffy, but you were great. And I thank you so much. He's really good. You'll have to come back again. It was really fun. Thank you for being here. We got to go. Thanks for listening to the show.

We'll be back here tomorrow. Do you want to hit the jackpot? Yeah, you want to jackpot with us? Yeah, I'll do jackpot. All right. Don't be care. Don't be care. And jackpot. Alright, don't be cur. And, uh, Jackpot!

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