The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #116 The Part That Is The Thing

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

Between you and Nikki, it's alright not to have an excuse to be feeling down, it's complicated, much like getting sentiment out of parents. Andrew tells too much about his "hard" situation in the middle of the night. Nikki reflects on the hang they had with her family and if only her parents could see her meet and greets. In the news, a spider bite that is out of hand, "tapping out of your genitals" on screen and a sports moment that leads Andrew to show off his apology skills. Fanthrax messages included voicemails about laughing skeletons, a mispronunciation, hand written notes and in the Final Thought a warning from a Bestie! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Yeah, popping that zevia. Hi guys, it's Nikki Glaser, here I am Welcome to the show, it's Thursday on the Nikki Glaser podcast Coming to you straight from St. Louis By Curious from St. Louis, I should say Andrew Collins in the next room With his girlfriend Brenna, I miss you so much Brenna I just miss her when I leave the room. She got into town yesterday. We had a really fun hang last night with the family.

My parents came over. Kirsten was here. We went on Instagram Live. Maybe some of you saw that. If you missed it, it's because you don't follow Nikki Glaser Pod on Instagram. We had a good freaking time on there. It's been a while since we'd done a live on there, but we got to bring them back. I've just been so busy that it's, um, uh, I haven't thought to do it, but I love going live on there. It's just, it's so much, I don't even go live on my own ever. I don't think just love giving it right to the besties. Uh, how are you all doing out there? Noah, how are you today?

I'm good. Wait, why did you squint your eyes like that? Did I seem not well yesterday? No, it did make it sound like I was concerned about you, and it was based on some kind of information. What kind of vibes am I putting out? I don't think they asked you yesterday, how are you yesterday how are you how have you been thank you we've been so like just get in here record no kind of pleasantries boom boom done go like there's

been no um interaction because i've just been running around how have you been lately um you know i was trying to i was thinking about it yesterday i've just been feeling very unmotivated and uh avi asked me he's like are you depressed and i'm like no i'm not depressed i'm not depressed and then i've just kind of like had that in my mind like am i depressed over something and like i'm trying to figure out why i just don't feel motivated you know i don't have that like what is there something on your mind that you're like oh i gotta get that done is this the thing that you would have spent a hundred thousand dollars on yesterday like house stuff maybe that's adding to my depression because it's a like a big burden but um i don't i just don't feel motivated to do anything extra

like even with jujitsu i'm not like in it like i was two years ago i don't feel like going and exploring tucson you know like i don't i'm not doing this the things that i enjoyed before i don't know what i enjoy like a uh you know the symptoms of depression on a zoloft ad are you not enjoying things you once enjoyed are your beloved family members asking if you're depressed? No, it's, I mean, whenever I kind of feel depressed, like there's always symptoms where you go, why do I feel fat today? And like, it's, why do I, why am I comparing myself more?

Why am I getting in, why, why am I not curious? I feel like that is a sign of it, of like not being curious about the world and I think that's a symptom of depression like um like you not wanting to explore Tucson or just are you just tired yeah I feel so like burnt out I think same yeah and I feel guilty over it seasons and then the guilt doesn't help anything because that's only going to make you more sad. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, the guilt is like, I think that's a definite like, like that, the guilt

causes so much of the feeling that we're feeling guilty about. It's just such a self-fulfilling thing, you know? Yes. Like, never have I felt guilty and felt better for feeling guilty you know like I think it's we feel guilty so we can feel like we were acknowledging that what we're doing is wrong so that it lifts some of the burden of being wrong because if you're just in denial of it that that's not good. But it's like, it's less about guilt. Whenever people feel guilty, I'm just like, I mean, what does that give you? It just gives you, it just adds to it.

It never has solved anything. And I know that's just easier said of like, anxiety has never made someone, like worrying about something doesn't solve it but sometimes it does because you think about it a lot and then you figure it out I guess but the guilt is is like you have the guilt of like I'm being lazy

I mean I feel like that's what everything comes back to is like especially for Americans I think we're just so scared of feeling lazy because what what what do you have guilt over of not exploring Tucson like or whatever it is so for me it's like feeling guilty over the possibility of being depressed like I should I have it really really good right now in my life that I should not like feel depressed you know like I don't

deserve to feel depressed because I don't deserve it yeah I relate to that a lot but it's almost like you know depression's like a cold like you caught a you you're it's not your fault and it's like in your brain and it's and yeah there are things you could be doing to get out of it. Oh, go for a walk outside. Meditate. Call a friend. There's all these things you could do. But sometimes those things are too difficult to do.

And a symptom of the sickness that you have or the little bout you're going through is not being able to do those things. It's like asking someone who has a cold, just breathe clearly through your nose. That's the same as telling a depressed person, just go for a walk outside. And I think just with mental illness things, it just seems like so like, well, you have legs at work and there is outside and it's not raining, just do that.

And it's just, or take a shower or get out of bed and make your bed. Those things are just as difficult as telling someone who has a broken leg, just walk on it. But it's nearly impossible. So it's like I would say forgive yourself. I would say that I think you should be allowed to say that you're depressed even though your life is good on paper. Because I don't know.

You know what? I hate saying it's PMS for me sometimes because that kind of makes men not be able to have that excuse. It feels like you're just giving an excuse, and then when you feel depressed and you're not, I'm about to start your period, you're like, well, then it's just me being wrong. But anything that is you, you don't want to be depressed. If you could check a box, and tomorrow it's wake up, depressed or not,

you would check the box that said not depressed. No one wants to be depressed. I mean, some people do maybe because sometimes I get depressed and I do want to stay depressed because I feel like it's my depression makes me feel like I'm seeing things the way they are because it's often a very negative outlook. The world is ending, You know, climate change. What's the point? We're all going to die. Nothing matters. Like, I feel like, oh, my God, I see things, like, so clearly.

And I don't want to be happy and delusional and walk around like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong. Like, I don't want to be one of the sheep. So sometimes I fight it because it just feels right. But, um, but I don't think anyone wants to feel depressed. So that's, it's, it's just so hard when things aren't a physical, like a manifestation of whatever it is. And when you're just like, I can't, I can't track the source of it because you even said you go what's going on in my life right now that's making me depressed and sometimes it is nothing sometimes it's just a hormone change that is like at a molecular level and you don't have anything you don't have any say over it or you wouldn't be able to see it or point at it but I

definitely feel that way about um yeah lately I've just felt uh what was I doing last night that was just some I've just felt I did the same fucking thing last night no I was such a I was kind of a brat to my parents which is just you know they're cameras filming me and after my parents leave like the people with the cameras are like, that was great. I mean, you didn't even need to say anything. We could see it on your face, how annoyed you were. And I was just like, I'm going to come off like such a twat in some of these things because my, and I've always felt that way. Like when I get like bratty with my parents, my friends who are like, on paper, your parents are great.

They're so cool. They're so nice. They're fun. But to me, they don't see the little thing. Like they're my parents, so they're super annoying. And last night, Kirsten was like, no, you know, if people end up seeing this thing and they judge you for being a brat to your parents, they'll understand that everyone's, like, your own parents make you crazy no matter how good they are. But the thing is, I don't agree with that.

Like, even though we all know that, we still think, well, if I had her parents, I wouldn't be like that. Because I, you know, we were talking about it yesterday, my friend, Sarah Lena, the girl, like, even though I know that her life, she still has insecurities. I've heard them. I still secretly think if I were her, I wouldn't have

those. If I had Nikki's parents, yeah, I'm a dick to my parents. And I know that everyone has triggers with their parents. I don't think people are kind of empathetic enough to understand that. So I think I just come off looking like a bitch.

But I was asking my mom to tell me why. Because we were all like freestyling a song about me moving back to St. Louis or whatever. Which already feels self-indulgent that we're all talking about me. But that's kind of like the, it's just, it's uncomfortable to have this thing, these cameras around me because all the conversation kind of has to be about me. And I'm already like worried I'm a narcissist and all these things. And now, you know, I have people being like, hey, can you talk about the pressures of Hollywood as a female comic? And I'm like, my parents don't want to hear about me shifting it to like, so in LA, I really feel like it's just like I just have to steer the conversation back to myself all the time. And it just feels so self-indulgent.

I bet people that watch whatever might the cameras might be capturing might think, God, she is really full of herself. So last night we were singing about my return to St. Louis. And I want to know what you think about this. My mom kept going like, we're so glad to have you back. Like we're just like, she's just like, we love having Nikki back. And I just kept going, why? Like I just want to detail like why. And I wasn't saying that to be like, I don't trust that you do.

Because I know they do. But like why? And she's like, because it's just great having you back and I'm just like that's not an answer and so I kept going why and then it led to like well then we joked because it's because I bought her a car and that was like funny and then I just kept I then it got to be like I almost got offended like can you give me one answer that you like having me around because what I the conclusion I came to is like

it's fun having you around again in what way is that weird of me to want a specific I know that's crazy but I just want to know like yesterday my mom we went to go get Botox, which is a whole other thing.

But we went to go get Botox, and my mom got, like, filler, which I'm so proud of her. It was, like, so weird and exciting. She was so cute when she got done. She's adorable. And she's never had anything on her face, you know, any work done. And, you know, this was kind of, she wouldn't have done this had we not been participating in whatever thing we're doing. And she looked at me yesterday. We were like kind of close up waiting for, you know, something to be set up. And she was like, what are on your teeth?

And I go, the attachments from my Invisalign, like these little plastic dots. And she goes, what is that? And I go, that's my Invisalign. She goes, no, it's not. And I go, yes, it is. And I go, I have had these on my teeth for six years. And she's like, no. And I go, mom, yes.

And she goes, I have never seen it. And I go, you've never looked at me. Just don't. And it's not like, I just don't think. And like, okay. So like after we shot this or like after these cameras were here, the people with the cameras came in and we're kind of like debriefing, like I said, and they're like, oh my God, that was so amazing. You guys working out like your family issues and song, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, isn't it interesting? She could not. I mean, and I kept bringing, we kept laughing.

Like she had no reason for why she liked having me home. And then I would literally go, no, I'm serious. Like why? Like give me one reason you like me. She like couldn't come up with one. And I was like, an example might be you're funny. She goes, why do you like being with us? And I go, because we like the same TV and you guys make me laugh at how you take it apart with me.

Because you make really delicious food. Because you guys are both hilarious. Because you are both. And then I really couldn't come up with reasons because i'm like we don't really i like talking like serious things with people i don't like having like surface conversations and i realized that like my parents just like surface kind of talk and so i don't think we really know each other so then i wanted to play a game where if Andrew or my parents know me better, and I think Andrew would win. And so I bought a game from Uncommon Goods, one of our sponsors, called the Best Friends Game.

And it's kind of those questions of like, who knows me better? And I guess it is very self-serving to be like, let's do a game about me, what you know. But there's some part of me do you ever feel like knowing like your parents don't know you or like don't really care about like the details of your life oh my gosh yes there if i had to ask my dad the same question he would just respond with either you're good or like okay like that's as emotional as he can get and that's why i don't understand when they want to hang out with me i go why if because you made me that's not a good enough reason like because like at least they

want to hang out with you yeah they that's a good point all right well at least i have that but like it needs to go beyond that like for i was even talking to andrew about this the other day i don't i don't understand you know this was kind of going off of our conversation about having guests, say. And a lot of times, guests are just family members that are coming through town, like aunts or cousins. Wild, wild opinion here. I don't think I should have to go hang out with aunts or cousins just because I'm related to them by blood. I don't think that it should be required. I, if I'm an adult woman, if I don't really have much in common with my aunt or my uncle or my cousin, and I don't like care to like them, I don't, just because there's some

blood that we both share or like lineage or whatever, I, unless I want to to I don't think I should have to I'm I'm tired of this like familial like duty because like well he's your uncle okay so your mom had sex one more time and made another kid and now I have to go to a lunch where I don't and then I hang out with these people and they don't ask anything about me they have no interest my life. They don't want to talk about anything real. It's like, what did we do this for? I could have listened to a podcast where someone shared more. I could have listened, you know, like I could have taken a nap where I learned more about myself or about you. Like at least in a nap, I might have dreamt that we had an interesting conversation.

This is fucking torture. I just don't understand why people want, I think people want to do things so that they can say they did them. And it's not really about the experience. It's saying, I went to lunch with my niece. I am a good aunt or I'm a good uncle or I'm a good niece or nephew. And it's like, that's not enough reason unless we're getting real enjoyment out of this. I like seeing my parents because I like they are funny and they are smart and interesting. And I like hearing their thoughts about shallow things because we're not getting too deep. And sometimes with my mom, I get her alone and we do get deep.

And I learn a lot. Yesterday, I learned that she always wanted kids. Didn't know that. Guess I had never asked because I didn't want to know. I guess I never wanted to ask, why did you have kids? She always wanted kids

and I asked Noah, as I do with like you and Kirsten and people in my life who want kids and just know they want kids. I asked her why. And she said, because kids are so cute. Okay.

My mom literally had the same reason that I made fun of in my special perfect about why women have babies. Because they want a baby. Because babies are baby. Like, who doesn't want a baby? It's a baby. And I'm like, do you know that someday that baby is gonna be some dude named doug who's gonna need to like get health insurance and like be like mom what's your maiden name i forgot my password to my

i can't get on netflix mom can you pay my bill like it's just gonna be a guy some do they not do they think they're gonna have a child that like never grows up like that's what people get dogs because they're like I like puppies it's like so that'll that kind of disturbed me that my mom just wanted kids because we're cute because God only and then she goes and I don't know where you got this idea that your sister was like beautiful I never told you girls that you were beautiful and I go okay I mean that is true but why and she goes because I didn't want you to get a big head and I go I thought it was going to be because I didn't want you to like that like think that that was something of value and to make yourselves feel like that was why you're special but it's because she didn't want us to feel special.

My mom is doing her best, and I love her so much, and I actually learned a lot about her yesterday that I didn't before, but maybe someone relates to this. I really do love my mom, but it was interesting to hear that she only wanted kids because we're cute, because God, that phase only lasted a couple of years for old Glazedog. Let's get Andrew in here. Andrew! 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way

in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How To Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins.

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Good people, what's up? It's Questo. Quest love. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Quest Love Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical effort. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers.

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So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What up, And? What's up? How'd you sleep last night, bro? I slept good with baby old Brenna next to me. Yeah.

Actually, we both woke up in the middle of the night. And I was hard. I don't know. I really just thought you guys were going to eat some pizza in the dark. But, okay, so you were hard in the middle of the night. And she, like, started giving me a handjob, but not, like, sexually. It was kind of like she was, like, giving me a hand job but not like sexually just kind of like she was like sleep like it was like a sleep handy and then how did this even get

started were you like i'm hard babe no uh i think was it non-verbal like everything yeah it's pretty much not we were like zombies and then i go are we have sex and i'm trying to walking fall asleep and i was like i was like should we have sex she goes can we just skip that part and get get to get to sleep like like it was just funny like she was like can we just skip over that part and you mean the part that is the thing that i wait what did she just want you to jerk off she meant no no no no just like nothing nothing sexual she just wanted to get back to bed And I wanted to get back to bed But I thought maybe sex

Sometimes when you have sex It leads to falling asleep And she's like, let's just skip over that Didn't you guys have sex earlier? Yeah No, I'm just guessing that you like Jumped each other's bones when you first saw each other Yeah, but then we had a little bit of argument because the baseball game was on while we were having sex.

And then the game increasingly got better. Sex was great, but ninth inning, 1-1, walk-off home run. So you were not present at all if you were able to hear the score and the innings and how many people were on bases and stuff. Yeah, for a couple innings. What base were you on? For a couple innings, I was in it. And then the game, you know. How long were you having sex?

A long time. Really? Oh, wow. All right, well, that's fine. Yeah, that's what I thought. But yeah. No, it's fine. We're fine.

It was just funny. It's funny to compete. Because, you know, the longer- Because what did she say? Was she like, are you paying attention? Like, did she call you out on it? Yeah. Or were you just like-

She's like, I can feel you not paying attention. Because where were you looking? Like, what was- I mean, I really am reluctant to ask for more details. But no, I kind of want to understand, like- We were doing- Like- This is where the problem, I think, lied.

We went to doggy. Did you go get your baseball club to wait for a football? Yeah, I put on my jersey and I put on my stirrups and I called my dad and he didn't answer. But I dug up my grandpa

and we went to the game together. Just like Shea Stadium back in 1988. Is that true? Yeah. Okay. Well, we didn't dig him up, but we went to true? Yeah. Okay. Well, we didn't dig him up, but we went to the game together. Okay, yeah.

I think that's probably, I can... Wait, you dug up your grandpa in 1988? And he wasn't even dead yet. That's where he liked to sleep. Get away from my grandma. He was a hoarder. You had to go wake him up and dig him out of the trash. Okay, so...

Yeah, so we were going to dig him out of the trash. Okay, so. Yeah, so we were going to do doggy towards the wall. And then I was like, hey, why don't we. No way. And I didn't realize. No way. You go, can we shift? Did you act.

This is the annoying part. If you acted like you wanted to do that just because of another reason other than the game. No, I said. I go, there's two outs in the bottom of the eighth or whatever. So I dressed it and we laughed about it. So I thought it was cool. But it was more like, okay, but you're not going to win. How long do you have sacked? Honestly, I can't believe you lasted a couple innings.

Probably 30, 40 minutes. No way. Yeah. What were you doing for that amount of time? We were at everything. You know, when you're not with someone for a while. Yeah, that's true. You break out all the stops.

Right, right. You know. Yeah, that makes sense. The stops, all the hits. And you can last. Did you take a Vag? I did take a Vag. Okay.

And then. Achoo. And then you, so you took one of those and then, and you can last, Zoloft makes it so you can't finish, but it doesn't help you not last. It actually makes you last way longer, I'm guessing. Yeah, I become a human dildo because I can't orgasm and I can't not knock it hard. So I'm just like, I might as well just, my penis is dead. It's just rigor mortis.

When do you know when to stop then? When the sun comes up. I mean, honestly, like. When Joe Buck says, all right, guys, great game tonight. Like, what? Nice triple header. When the 10 o'clock news finally starts? I guess when I hear the rooster crow.

No, I, which actually sounds like Joe Buck a little bit. No, I honestly, no, I do have orgasm. It's just harder for me. But if you're not having one, when do you know it's over? You're just done. Hopefully she does, and then I'm done. Right, okay. Yeah, it ends on her.

I don't just go, hey, nah nah boy's hanging it up i was like i do everything i can to please her and then when she's pleased and i feel like there's just no way old dead penis is gonna walking dead head yeah yeah i just i call it a day i just hang up the cleats yeah i've had kirsten here the past couple nights and how's that it's good but i can't master there's nowhere to i can't masturbate when you have someone sleeping in your bed with you and i've been like wanting to like i've just been like kind of depressed and wanting to do i don't smoke weed anymore i don't i've i've been eating a little bit more than i've wanted to because i'm just that's a way to like anesthetize my feelings a little bit but

like there's nothing I can do to just jolt me to have a jolt of like feeling that might like disrupt the thing in my brain saying like you're not good enough you're pale your spray tan is gross you're keep picking at your skin like all the things that i'm just like last night even my dad was like what is that like on my leg and i was like oh i pick at my skin because i'm having anxiety and then just like moved on like he wanted to like some answer that was gonna be like not disturbing and i go i just pick at it and he was just like what like i think my i honestly think past the pad thai. Okay.

It was like, and that, I think that honestly bummed me out. Like when other people see the things in me that are like, like he doesn't know about my, when people call it out that know that, like, that's why I'm out about it. So if you call it out, I'm like, oh, it's because I told you about it. But when someone who doesn't know about it is like what the fuck are you doing to yourself I'm like shit I've got a problem and I think that's why I kind of spiraled because I was thinking about it last night I'm like why am I in such a fucking bad mood after my

parents left and it was just like I was just so down for some reason and I think it was because yesterday was just a long it's been a long life honestly it's been a long life, honestly. It's been a long life. It really has. I can't even, you know.

No, I get it. I haven't taken a break and I haven't had a day off and I don't even know when. I'm picking at it again. I just, I don't even know. Yeah, it's tough when people see the actual like a physical thing that represents your whole life. Yes. And you can't. And they go, what is going on there? And I mean, that's pretty much saying like, what's going represents your whole life. Yes. And you can't.

And they go, what is going on there? And I mean, that's pretty much saying, like, what's going on with your life? And like, and that can be like, that's why you don't have a, or like, to me, that's like why I don't have a boyfriend. Not because of that thing, but because I'm crazy. And like, I can't stop picking at my leg.

Yeah. I mean, I agree. crazy and like i can't stop picking at my leg yeah i mean i agree i just was so anxious i was telling noah last night like how much it hurt i think it really hurt my feelings that my parents couldn't articulate why they like having me around well it was in a song form no but then after the song i go no truly and then my dad kind of took me aside and was like we love you because you're funny and you're fun. And he kind of told me some things. But he had to go in the next room and think about it.

I had to give him extra time on the SATs to come up with why he likes his daughter. Well, you did give him multiple choice. Yeah. I mean, and I think he chose D, none of the above. Oh, my god. I know. But I think sometimes it's hard.

Like if I have trouble articulating why I love someone. You have trouble articulating the syllables in articulate. Yes, yes. But I think maybe your mom might be kind of similar though. It's not always easy to pinpoint. I'm sure they could come up with specific stories where they remember. But the thing is, I just don't think that they actually like me. And that might be the case.

I don't think they... I think that they probably talk massive shit about me behind my back. What do you think they're saying? And why do you think? And is there anything you can do differently? Okay. I think they like me. They tolerate me because I'm famous. I think they like me. They tolerate me because I'm like that.

They're like, they love me obviously because I'm their daughter and they want to protect me and they let me live at home because they love me and they want me to be safe. But it's less about like, we like who you are and more about like you're, and I know they do like who i am my dad was like because you're positive and you and my dad like sometimes cries when he like hears how much i their daughter like affects people's lives and like makes people feel special and they see me meet my fans like

sometimes i want them to see like my meet and greets so they can see like people love me like really appreciate what I get do for them and like I'm not just some because I think every time we hang out I feel like they're just like god Nikki and her like just bettering herself and all these like woo woo new age like love yourself accept yourself like I've accepted myself they just kind of roll their eyes and they're like that's for you and it doesn't work for us and stop projecting your own like they don't understand that it's a bigger thing and that it yeah but i mean i think you're saying things that like okay if how do i put this where it's like they're pretty simple people in in a lot of ways and i think like

everything you're saying like i'm bettering myself i'm doing all and they just like want to eat their oreos and not hear about that at 10 a.m you could see why they could go okay you're being a little a lot right now and that's okay but that doesn't mean that they don't love you i, they show you through their actions all the time how much they love you. They show up. They take your dog when you need it. They do things for you. If you call on your mom right now and you go, I need you,

she would do whatever the fuck it takes to be there. I guess I just don't. My love language isn't showing up for me. My love language is like, how are you feeling? Yeah. Like, oh, why do you like that kind of shoe? showing up for me my love language is like how are you feeling yeah like what um what oh you i what why do you like that kind of shoe i mean like even like i get that not like oh my god you're always so cute you look beautiful like my mom you said yesterday when we were getting potox she's

like because one of the questions i had to ask her for the fact that there were cameras there to just like prompt conversation was um you Mom, what made you get Botox? And she goes, well, you, Nikki. Because she was like, I've just seen you get so beautiful lately. And I just look at her and go, what did she do? She's so beautiful. All of a sudden, you're just so gorgeous.

And all my friends, they constantly are writing me saying, Nikki's so beautiful. Nikki looks so gorgeous and I'm just like that's like I think she like like I think that my parent my mom like yesterday I said that um you know I'm at a place in my life where I feel like maybe I'm not fully there but I could be I could you know have serious like facial disfigurement or something terrible could take all my looks from me or whatever. And I could still be okay and like myself and not want to die and not be a part of this world. It would be very hard not saying it.

It would be like, it's the same. It would be hard for me too. Yeah. But I feel like I said, and I think you'd love me just as much if I were extremely overweight or whatever it is. Yeah, if you would. And the truth is I don't know that that's true. Yeah.

I get that. I think that my mom might, she would just be disappointed. I think that makes me sad is that I got more love from my parents when I became famous and beautiful. And that's what, why, why wouldn't I, that's why when as a kid and I wasn't that,

my mom even said yesterday, Andrew, I just said this on the podcast. She never told me and my sister, we were, she goes, I don't know where you got this idea that Lauren was so much more beautiful than you. I never told either of you girls you were beautiful.

I never, I made a point never to say it. And I was like, at first I was like, oh, that's kind of, I'm never, I never tell Poppy she were beautiful. I never, I made a point never to say it. And I was like, at first I was like, oh, that's kind of, I never tell Poppy she's beautiful. I always say, you're so cute and you're so smart and you're so like fun and funny. And I just, I don't wanna,

I don't say things about looks or I try not to. Sometimes it's hard because she is so beautiful, but I don't want her to like have that value on that and i thought that's why my mom said she didn't say we were beautiful but i go why did you not say that and she goes because i just didn't want you getting a big head and thinking you were better like which is kind of the same idea but it's more of like yeah it's it's so hard to be a parent because then it's like because I know. I know. Because on the flip side, now she's telling you you're beautiful all the time. And I hate it.

And you hate it. Yeah. So obviously there's somewhere in the middle. No, I'm glad she didn't say we were beautiful as a kid. I just think that her motivations for doing so were not the reasons you're not supposed to. Oh, you think like a big head in the sense of she was competitive with you? No, no, no. She just didn't want us thinking we were better than people, which, by the way's the same it's the same idea of like there's then you have value on that but

it's not about like i don't want my daughters to like think to think that that matters so much it's more about i didn't want them to think that i didn't want them to know how much power they could wield because it's almost like i didn't want you going around thinking you were hot shit neck yeah well see that's tough too because then it's like that created different kind of problems It's almost like I didn't want you going around thinking you were hot shit, Nick. Yeah. Well, see, that's tough, too, because then it's like that created different kind of problems where you because you're not hearing it. But then my dad heard I said I was beautiful all the time. So I thought that's weird that one parent says it all the time and the other never says it.

Yeah, they're playing good cop, bad cop. And also my mom used to say she was ugly all the time. So my mom clearly knows what is beautiful and ugly. If my mom's able to say it to herself in the mirror and I don't hear it from her about me, I think I probably internalized I probably am ugly. Because if I was beautiful, my mom would tell me because she tells herself she's ugly all the time. Yeah. It's so tough because my mom does the same thing.

She'll say, oh, you're so handsome. And when I feel my ugliest sometimes, she'll be like, oh, my handsome boy. And I'm like, not this year. Like, or not this month. Like, I know how I'm looking right now. And she comments on my looks a lot. Then my dad, I don't think it's ever been like, you're a handsome boy, obviously. It's different with father, son.

But, like, I think, though, it's different with father son but like i think though it stem problems if you don't hear that from your mom then it's like it's not that you want to be better than other people you just want to be equal to other people you don't want to feel less than if you never hear from her if you're putting a lot of value on your look well i was smart enough to know my mom isn't someone that walks around and doesn't judge people's looks because i hear her do it all the time and to have no opinion of what my looks, I'm guessing if I were beautiful, she'd probably say something.

So her absence of saying something leads me to just I always think a thousand steps ahead. I'm a little bit I'm a little I have the brain. I have a weird brain. And so I think that I was like okay, if this equals this, then this.

And my dad tells me I'm beautiful. So obviously that's not a foreboding thing to say in my house. If you wanted to say it, you could. My dad says it every day. And my mom sits there quietly. It might be that my mom doesn't think I'm beautiful. I know. And she wasn't wrong.

I wasn't as a kid. And she goes, yes, you were. And know. And she wasn't wrong. I wasn't as a kid. And she goes, yes, you were. And I go, it doesn't matter if I wasn't, but I got the idea that it was like. But here's the thing. If you then ask her what she was doing and she goes, well, you were beautiful as a kid. And then you go, no, I wasn't.

You already have an idea of what you look like or who you were as a kid. So it's like, it's got to be frustrating to be on the other side when they do feel like that they're opening up or being honest and being either supportive or however they're talking to you and then you're denying what they're saying.

It's got to be frustrating because then they're like, well, why am I even going to tell her anything if she doesn't believe me? Because it's, you know what I mean? Like on their end. Right't believe me because it's you know what I mean like on their end right to to go well you know yeah she's she's practicing communicating with you and I guess maybe if you give her like positive feedback it might she might feel more open to to being more emotional towards you since it's hard for her to yeah I mean not to put the

onus on them like obviously no they're they're tried they i mean they want nothing but the best for me i know that and so i'm just but i'm saying that like i think that if i have kids someday and my husband is and i don't want to say anything about the kids beauty or looks and my husband's constantly saying that they look beautiful i might even i would have a conversation with my husband's constantly saying that they look beautiful, I might even, I would have a conversation with my husband of like, can we get on the same page about we don't comment on their looks? Or I need to get on your page because it's going to seem weird if I say nothing.

Because in this house, you're setting the tone that we talk about those things. And the absence of talking about them equals, you're going to go do ugly. I'm ugly. Because you don't tell someone they're ugly. I know that. I'm a smart enough kid to realize you don't tell someone to their face they're ugly unless it's your own face in the mirror but i but but um but if i was beautiful my dad says it my mom would say it so the absence of it i think made me realize and the fact that this even matters i mean this this is a topic i've become obsessed with when i'm uh depressed

yes but it really it hurts me and it it um it just and then the denial that my sister was more beautiful than me and that my mom didn't notice and things like that it's like that makes me feel sad because i believe her i believe that she did not see a difference between the our looks because she does look at her girls the same way and we were both beautiful and she didn't want to give us either a big head but i literally had a big head no i think that she just it makes me sad she didn't notice like i think i would like to be i see and this is uh like subjectively speaking like when i see pictures of you as a kid i don't i i think you went through a couple awkward years like we all do, like around like puberty time where like you started to look –

you looked older then than you did now. You cannot deny that my – no one can deny that my sister was more beautiful than me. And my mom denies that. There was a time I saw a couple photos where I go, I didn't see it. I saw you being more attractive than your sister. She had a weird little Lloyd Christmas Dumb and Dumber hair. But that was before she got beautiful. I know. I'm just saying.

It was before. And I'll tell you, I used to hear I was skinny and beautiful and all the things when I was little. And then it stopped abruptly and I got super depressed. And the fact that they weren't tuned into that. But dude, I'm telling you, there's like other positives that came from that. Like, I was told I was cute.

Yes, I mean, I'm a comedian because of it. I was little, but I was a very cute kid. Like, I was, like, model cute kid. My older brother was not as attractive. I think I got called out cute more than him. He wasn't ugly by any means, but he didn't have anything on me. I was cute as fuck. That dude is doing pretty good.

Yeah, he is. And I'm doing pretty good. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think it comes back to I just want people to acknowledge and ask me how I feel. I think that would have solved a lot of being like, Nikki, how do you feel? You seem sad. What's going on? That hostess told lauren that

she should be a model and looked at me and didn't say anything yeah and i feel like it means i'm ugly instead of being like i might have said that to them and they'd go just shut up i'm not listening to this right now shut up that is so ridiculous that's not good that's what i got other than well tell me about that that really seems hard to feel that way about yourself. What do you think that means about you? I just wish I would have had a little bit more of that. But the gift is that now I can give that to other, because I've been through that, I can give it to myself. I can talk that way to myself.

Because otherwise, I'm lucky that I've done the work to be like, something's wrong here. I didn't get something as a child and I need to find it and I found it. And now I can give it to myself more than other people could give it to me. And also I can give it to other people. And so maybe someone is listening to this and maybe we'll hear their kids say the same thing.

And instead of going, shut up, you're beautiful. They can go, I felt that way before and it's really hard. And I don't see what you're talking about and i think you're beautiful but tell me about how that makes you feel and and some of your feelings and just like hold them and let them cry instead of telling them i agree like i i can't remember one time in my childhood where they're like how are you like there were no conversations like that because they were in their own head they were dealing with their i don't want to hear any of this i don't want to hear any of this.

I don't want to hear how you're feeling about this. So you know what it was? It was just sad for me. You might love talking about our feelings now. That's all we talk about. I know. I sometimes think like my only thing is like for you, I'm like, it's not about a day off from work or like all that stuff. Sometimes I just wish you had a day off from your own brain.

Like I really... You and me both, brother. That's what I used to do drugs for. Yeah, that's true. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. You heard it here first.

Oh, man. It's Thursday. You know what that means? It is Thursday out there. And, boy, are they having all the swells. Thursday means it's Thursday. You know what that means? It is Thursday out there. And boy, are they having all the swells. Thursday means it's Thursday. Yep. And Wednesday means it's Wednesday. God, thanks for getting us there.

We would not be able to get there ourselves. I mean, look, sometimes it takes a bridge. It's so funny that you just said you wish I had a vacation from my brain. Like, that is so sad to me that a friend of mine is just like i wish you just like didn't have to be you for it yeah pretty much that's pretty much what i'm saying oh boy but i feel now i get what you're saying i'm like once every like like i i whatever anyhow but how would i do that let's get to the news i think even on a beach you're getting like you're finding something wrong with the sand oh god i hate the beach and and the sun will like highlight all of my spray tan areas

that i'm like why can't i just accept my skin tone and then i get mad about accessing a spin tone then i feel guilty about the guilt noah we about the guilt. I guess when you get your foot rubs, that's the place where, if you got a foot rub for 24 hours, maybe that could be it. I know. And that goddamn foot massager I bought sucks. Brenna loves it. I know. You know, one man's trash. Okay.

Virginia woman left hospitalized and hallucinating after venomous spider bites her lip. She was kayaking down, I forget which lake, but she was kayaking. She got bit by a spider. Oh, my God. And it ended up being a brown recluse. Oh, brown recluse, recluses. Have you ever Googled what those wounds look like? I mean, I'm seeing them.

They're like gunshots. That looks like your mom's lips yesterday. Oh, my God, yeah, I'm seeing it. They're like gunshots. That looks like your mom's lips yesterday. Oh, my God. Yeah, after she got filler. Wow. So how did, was she camping? And this spider just like. She was kayaking.

And then I guess the spider was probably on the boat. Or on a tree and like dangled down. I mean, so many times we get bit by bugs and we're just like, ah, it's just a bug. You know? And then like sometimes it's a fucking bug. That's happened to her so she started hallucinating yeah hallucinating i feel like i was hallucinating looking at the picture yeah black hole son black hole lip i mean look at this on your lip oh honey she looks like she she has one of those mustaches. She looks like she has a mustache. It's like a, I don't know, an accountant in the 80s.

Isn't it so weird, though? There's very few, I guess, venomous spiders, but it's like God was just like, oh, I'm going to make this one a fucking badass. Like, why did this one get venomous and Daddy Longlegs over there is like, can I get a little venom? I hate Daddy Longlegs. I seriously would rather... You'd rather get bit by a brown recluse? Come on. This is what I

hate about Daddy Longlegs. They'll be like, click, click, click, click, click. They'll be like tapping along and then all of a sudden, go watch the video on our YouTube for this demonstration. They'll be like, click, click, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. And then all of a sudden they just go, and they like spread out on the wall and they're just like flat on the wall.

And I just hate that flatness. I'd love to give them little shoes. Actually, I'd love to see them type a Stephen King book on a typewriter. Wouldn't that be fun? That would be adorable. But their bodies are just these little dots. And then they, daddy long legs are so gross. I just hate when they go, and they just like, all their legs splay out flat on like a siding

of an old house. I hate it. I want them to stay like. How are there so many different things? What is our world? So I don't even let my brain are you did you get bit by a brown recluse are you hallucinating right now i got bit by a brown eye recluse so what did she what did she do oh god seventh inning stretch fit it in what did she do she uh she's dead no

she lived she went to the hospital um i mean, yeah, she was just hospitalized. It didn't really go into the fact of how fucked up she got. The article wasn't that long. It just talked about how she hallucinated, and obviously she lived. But I think these could be fatal. I would think that being closer to your brain. Because you can get infections. I mean, these wounds are horrific.

They look like just all of a sudden there's a sinkhole in your skin. Like it just creates a giant hole that gets black and infect. It's so gross. I mean, there was a time in my life, if I got bit by a brown recluse and it was getting bad, I would just go. I know. Scabies. Scabies. Yeah.

Your scabies story. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Oh manabies story. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Oh, man. All right, next story. Jake Gyllenhaal says filming love scenes with Jennifer Aniston was torture because he had a crush on her. So she had to put an old pillow in between the genitalia before they started humping. In The Good Girl.

Yeah. Yeah, that movie's so good. She's great in that. And so is he. Wasn't that like her first thing after Friends? Wasn't that like a big thing? No, it was her first like dramatic. No, she did Pitch Perfect.

She did that one movie with Paul Rudd. She did, there was a couple of others. But that was like her like. She's the one. Her moment when she was like. That was her first like Oscar grab. Like when Adam Sandler did that one other movie. The Punch Drunk Love.

Yeah. Yes. That was her first like dramatic role. She's great. And I love that movie. And that's a Mike White. That's the guy that made White Lotus. He wrote that movie.

Oh. It's so good and quirky. I gotta watch. I don't know if I've ever watched it. Oh. I'll watch it. Yeah. Oh.

I love it. Oh. She plays like this small town woman who's married to um what's this the guy john c riley who talks wait hold on john's wait i can't i can do an impression of impression of john c riley i used to be able to he kind of talked like he's in the back of his old one that doesn't sound right at all. Let's see. Let's see what he actually said. No, don't. I can hear it in my head, and I can't do it.

But he's her husband, which is just like, yeah, right. And she has an affair with Jake Gyllenhaal, who's like this young guy who she's like, I shouldn't be doing this. And Jake falls in love with her, and it becomes a little torrid. And that makes sense that he had to – everyone has a crush on Jennifer Aniston. I mean, it's gotta be so I mean, he was talking about how there's 40 people in the room during the love scene.

Usually guys don't get boners because they're so nervous and it's just so not sexual because they're acting. You know, they're doing a job. I mean, why is it not just them two and the director goes, okay, I'm gonna hit the camera. I'm gonna hit record. Because it takes a lot of people to make a production. Why?

Because lights, camera, action. Yeah. There's a lot of things. No, but I'm saying once you've set it up, this is set up. We don't need 30 other people in here. What is going on here like why why i guarantee they could get rid of 25 people though it's like when you go buy a photo shoot in new york city and there's a model and then there's seven people like i don't know for me

it would make me more comfortable doing a sex scene if there were more people there than just like one director like kind of be like a threesome yeah yeah like what's a good number than eight what are we talking about like daddy long legs i'm getting hornier by when we add more people on cock huh um um yeah that's it but that must have meant he was like he crushed on her so hard that it was like he couldn't get out of that he couldn't separate the two you know because i've heard a lot of times with these sex scenes that you know you don't get horny during them because they're so you're just you're at work i know it's like a weird line because it's a because you want them to you want the woman to think you're into her but at the same time not

doing like you don't want it to seem too sexual yeah it's got to be fucking tough unless you go to the partner and be like look let's let's get it the fuck on like we're hooking up well then a lot of times though like the people that are yeah you know on set doing these romances they do start hooking up because you make out all day you're like touching each other it's like that stuff leads to you make out with someone enough you just start kind of maybe feeling things for them maybe like uh if you do it on camera and you like really go for it but then you kind of feel like icky because you're like wait we're just doing this for work we might as well do it for real

for real you know what i mean like if you were because it's like i already did it i already did it also like it's not cheating i don't want to practice in a hotel room alone with this person yeah with just a director there yeah they're like we only need to do to hold hands for the scene you're like yeah we wanted to um have anal just to really get nickelodeon weodeon. We're doing the... What's the technique? The Meisner? No, the...

Whenever I hear Meisner, I just see my Jewish aunt being like, Oh, you gotta act better. It's me, Meisner, over here. That's all I hear. I just hear an old Jewish woman yelling at me. I don't know. I've done make

out scenes for like acting before and it's you i'm not a good enough actor to to separate the two yeah and so i the only way i can act is to just like try to get into this and then because a lot of times even you know back in my days when i would make out with someone or be hooking up with someone that i didn't really like because it was in the morning and I was sober now. Yeah, that's acting. That's acting. I would seriously fake it until I made it. So I would kind of pretend like I was an actress in a thing and go like pretend I was a porn star.

Just like get out of my own head by pretending I'm a character. And then by faking it, you make it. You end up like sometimes I like can't have an orgasm so i go what would it what would it look like to have an orgasm or like um act as if that's a thing that we talk about in recovery a lot is like okay so you don't believe in god why don't you just pretend there is a god pretend like you're someone who does believe in god what would you do right now what who would you talk to? What would you say?

Just pray like you do believe, even though you don't. What if you did? And then you end up being able to find that kind of thing. And it goes somewhere, though. It goes somewhere inside you. Yeah. Like, if you play that character. So sometimes I act as if I'm having an orgasm, and I have one.

Because a lot of times they elude me so much. So sometimes, maybe you try that like the secret manifesting it a little bit but like just okay I can't have an orgasm right now what if I was a woman who could what would it feel like what would if my vagina feels literally numb but

if I could feel my vagina what would that woman feel right now and then it kind of happens well sometimes you could like train your brain into feeling. There's certain parts of the body that has more sensation, like more feeling, more nerves. And sometimes your penis or your vagina is kind of dead. It's not really connected to you.

So you have to localize your thoughts. Oh, man. Emily, Sex with Emily. She taught me when i was listening to a podcast of like when you're having sex and you're feeling really detached like put your brain in your like really like only try to feel with your vagina and sometimes i'm so tapped out of my genitals yeah i am like they are not in the fucking room tapped out of my genitals i am sometimes i just don't you know what what I mean? Yeah, no.

I get it. And then sometimes you go, oh, my God, wait a second. Let me just stop and actually put all of the feeling in there and only feel down there. And then it's like, what the fuck? Whoa, I just flipped a switch. I mean, our brains are fucking wild. It is wild how you can really focus on like that trick that we learned from Ben ben glebe when you're cold yeah remember that your blood is 98.6 degrees there's something that's nearly 100 degrees which if it was that hot

outside you would be hot yeah it's pulsing through you so when you're cold focus on your blood and all of a sudden you start to feel warm it's fucking trippy dude i mean yeah it's uh and it's yeah i don't know the generals are a weird thing man with me it's a weird thing what do you mean no just like the feeling of like i have to like sometimes during sex i have to like i get it i just think i get like revved up and then i get like i get like a meditative state where like i don't feel You would think I'd be more present, but I feel like... No, it's like when you're eating food when you're super hungry or super stressed, and you don't taste the food. You just chew it, and all of a sudden, it's gone.

You're like, what did I even just do? And there's sauces everywhere, and you go, where's the extra sauce I had? And it's like, I ate that? When the fuck did I eat that? That's literally me driving back from Chick-fil-A every Wednesday. No, it's the same thing. Sometimes I see you or even myself eating, and I'm like, that person, you aren't even – there's no enjoyment happening right now. It's not enjoyment.

It's just stuffing a hole, which a lot of times sex is like you're not present. Okay, so the next time we have sex, not you and I together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next time we have sex, let's try to focus on the feel of it. At some point in the middle of it when we start to go thinking about something else, the baseball game, what we're going to eat later or what we're going to shove into our faces later. Use that as a reminder to go, oh, wait a second. Let me just focus on my gens. And if you can, just imagine a Jewish aunt going, come on.

Come on. Use the mice. Nah. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back with our weekly sports moment. Oh, here we go. Favorite time of the week.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radioRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, bestselling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior.

It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique.

Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.

Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and pave paved the way for those that followed you know keystones to the culture this season we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like i'm pete bill chatting up with hit maker sam holland sugar steve chatting with the legend nick lowe and i've had pleasures doing one-on-one conversations with willow sonata matreya k Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go

back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here we go. It's time for the weekly sports moment. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment.

Oh, boy. This one I think you might like. Okay, I hope you stay sitting down. Okay, Jaguars coach Urban Meyer. Who Jaguars? That's the thing that's on your arm. Okay, Urban Meyer. Says he's sorry for the distraction he caused.

I love an apology. Okay. His team after video surfaced of him dancing with a woman who wasn't his wife. He caused a distraction. He's apologizing for the distraction it caused. I know. He's getting grinded on. So he's essentially not grinding on her.

His hand is, he kind of looks like a quarterback under a center. Like he has his hand covering kind of his genitals, but it's in her butt crack. Is he like bent over, like squatting almost? Well, he's sitting on a barstool. Oh, okay. Barstool. Like the sports. Yeah, but like the

sports thing. How do we feel about that? Is it cheating if you're getting grinded on? Also, this is right in public. This guy 100% cheats. I'm sorry. If your husband's getting grinded on at a bar. Why is your husband at a bar with women around dancing?

No, this is the first time. This is just the one time I did that, babe. At that bar. I mean, it's insane. He was with his wife and kids and his grandkids earlier. Like, at a dinner. His grandkids? Yeah, like three minutes before that, too, which is pretty badass.

I like that he apologized for the distraction it caused. Like, it's not about, like, I apologize to my wife. I'm sure he did that on his own time. And also, we don't know the arrangement they have. Could be open. It could be open. I mean, honestly, it could be. And if I were with this guy, I would not mind for this to happen.

I don't know how I would feel if I was with the kids and the grandkids and everything and having to take care of that. But maybe my husband wants to go get a little ass on a barstool. And maybe I'd be like i can't wait to watch tmz sports later and see this then fuck you because it's so hot what do you think do you is it is it cheating if you're getting grinding on yeah if you know if it's it you know you can't say yes or no to these things even though i just did but it's like if if if a woman i would say for most women in a monogamous relationship, that would be cheating. I mean, I can't. Noah, please. I mean, if you saw.

No, I'm not saying that it's not. I'm just wondering what you guys think. I would be appalled. Appalled. There would need to be some kind of explanation for sure. Okay, would you rather this would you rather him get grinded on like that in public or get a blow in private where then you're not embarrassed because it's not in public and no one knows oh i don't for me it's more about my feelings that are hurt not

other people no but your feelings would be hurt more By the more people that knew that your husband I guess one is like an actual Sexual act so that Would not bode well But I don't know like the guy could have stepped Like he could have stood up and walked Away or something or been like Excuse me I need some space

Would you rather grind in public Blow in private I'd rather him get a blowjob in private Just because I'd rather hear about – I think that's hotter. And the public thing makes it – So you'd rather him get a blow in public. Well, the thing is like if I ever get like into a relationship and I engage in this kind of the thing that I like, which is – Football? Yeah.

The thing that I like, which is guys kind of fooling around with other women and then telling me about it. Unless I'm out with it to everyone about my open relationship, I'll feel embarrassed because I'm like, people are going to think that you're sneaking around on me and then I'm like... Not in control of it. Yeah.

So I would be annoyed at that. But in general, I would assume this guy if you're getting grinded on at a bar by a random woman in front of 30 minutes after you're with your family you are definitely getting blowjobs in private like it's it's one in the same i do think though that um you should apologize to the cardinals for the distraction, the blowjob, and the sex you were having caused that team.

No, wait, actually, you need to apologize to Brenna for the distraction the baseball game caused you. I'm ready. It caused you to have in your sex life. Look, last night things got out of control. I want to apologize not only to my lovely girlfriend, Brenna,

but to the whole organization of the St. Louis Cardinals. I'm just a man, okay? I'm just a man. Andrew Collins is just a man. That's all I am. And sometimes men do things that they don't even want to do. And I'm sorry about the distraction. I won't happen again.

If it does happen again, I will take ownership again. I'm not blaming this on the team. I'm not blaming this on the other woman. This is almost better than you. The other night you were showing me what it looks like when an athlete throws a ball versus when an actor being an athlete throws a ball. Kenny Powers throwing a baseball is so fun. Yeah. And that was a better portrayal.

I mean. This is a fun character i really like this i feel like men practice you practicing your golf swing in the mirror is almost like you've been practicing that you've seen it so we've seen apologies from athletes so many times you just nailed that and comedians yeah i'm a man i'm just a man and if it happens again i will take accountability like yeah it's no one else's fault except my own yep if it happened you know i'd like to keep this private matter between my wife and my family and i'm ashamed i never want to say it but i'm also i'm dealing with some mental issues of my own i try to keep it i'm a man of god i'm a man of God. I'm a man of God, Jesus. Oh, it's God's fault.

Oh, he's fine because he's a man of God. Never mind. We forgive him. Okay, let's get to Fan Thrax. I love picturing Avi in the living room just doing that and Noah just like- Recording him? Yeah. That's exactly how it happened. How many takes did he do?

I think he gave me like seven. Oh, that's cool. That's nice. That's pretty good. We got it in one. Let's hear how low you can go. Fanthrox. That's really good.'s really good your farts

all right let's get to fanthrax our weekly fan letter voicemail dump okay so our first one comes from abby hey nikki noah and andrew this is abby i just wanted to drop in and tell you this little story. So this, um, I am in the middle of taking yoga teacher training. And this past week we had an anatomy lesson and the teacher brought in a skeleton and all I kept thinking was, and so I was kind of chuckling to myself and the girl sitting next to me asked what was so funny and so naturally I had to tell her that my bestie Nikki Glaser has a hilarious joke about how skeletons are always smiling which made her laugh too and so thank you for helping me make a new friend in a room full of 30 people that I had never met before and also I'm going to be at your Kansas City show this weekend and I can't fucking wait. My husband just informed me that he got us meet and greet tickets because he knows how obsessed I am with you guys.

And so I, you know, just so freaking pumped. I will see you guys this weekend. Bye. Oh, my gosh. What's her name? Mandy. Abby. Amy.

Abby. Abby. We're both way off. Yeah. Abby, we'll see you this weekend. That's so exciting. Oh my god, we gotta take a picture like skeletons. Yeah, or a little video.

I love that. Yeah, use any kind of joke I've made to be like, yeah, my friend did this joke to make friends. That's a great idea. Also, it's like she's to make friends. That's a great idea. Also, it's like she's probably stressed out. She's in a class.

The skeleton comes in. And then she sees it. And it's just like, you know. And if someone laughs at the joke, you know they're cool. Yeah. Like, you know they get it and they're kind of weird. And like, they just, yeah, instant friend. I see her turning to one person and go, da-da-da-da-da. And they go.

Well, especially in a yoga training class. People can kind of be too cool for school. Because they're just recovering from addiction. turning and one person goes, and they go, and then the other person's like. Well, especially in the yoga training class. People can kind of be too cool for school. Because they're just recovering from addiction and they're like, I need something to sweat, but without like a real job. Oh my God. Well, that's so cool.

I'm always so like flattered that like people who are like into yoga like listen to the show. Yeah. Because I'm so not, I mean, I could really benefit from some yoga probably, but it's so slow for me.

It's too slow. I need fast yogs. Wait, is there fast yoga, I wonder? There is. No. Yeah, it's called vinyasa. Oh, that really? It's fast-ish, but you could probably get even sweeter.

You could put it on two times. Yeah, that's... Like my podcast. No, Abby, I'm so excited to meet you this weekend. And I love, you can always tell when there's besties at the meet and greets versus just reggies. Oh, there's some great people. Wait, I never read that note from that one guy. He gave us a note yesterday.

I'll go get it. Yeah. One second. Let me just go get a quick fan thracks that we got at the meet and greet last week. This guy came up up he was wearing a uh a dustin poirier shirt oh and uh so he was in you know he was a bestie and uh he was so nice he wrote us handwritten letters like oh yeah he wrote you one maybe we'll when you come here You'll read it Yeah It was so nice and sweet Wait shit

I think I only have Oh I only have Noah's I don't have mine for some reason Alright let's read Noah's I lost mine I lost my own From this guy But I do have Noah's

Can we read yours Noah To you Oh okay Let me put my head in my shirt Thank you for being A crucial piece of something I look forward to every day Always appreciate

What you put together And your perspective on things and your consistency in saying, Here's Nikki, is something every person should aspire to obtain, whether it be their professional life or hobbies. Speaking of hobbies, your love of metal and jiu-jitsu make you among the biggest badasses I know. BJJ is something I'd like to start soon myself, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, as I would love to be more knowledgeable on the applications of what I watch every Saturday. The two line events I have tickets for are this show and UFC 268 next month.

And I feel like that pretty much sums up my interests. I just adore all three of you because you guys keep me laughing and make me better as a person. Your attitudes and views inspire me to continue to work on myself and improve. I am indebted to all of you and I wish you all the best in the world.

Love you, bestie. All the swells. Derek. Oh my God. That's so sweet. So freaking sweet. Noah was like covering her face the whole time. Isn't it so intense to get letters addressed to you?

I feel the same way. I was telling Andrew this other day that I honestly, fanthrax, every time you press play, I get a lump in my throat because I get nervous that I just can't stand all the... The love feels too much. Right.

Yeah, I know. We have to find that perfect balance. I think that's been the theme of the episode. I know. All I want is love. And yet when I get it, I go, no, no, no. I don't deserve that. Please don't give that to me.

I promise you I'm shit. That is so nice. love and yet when i get it i go no no no i don't deserve that please don't give that to me i'm i promise you i'm shit oh that is so nice is this the one to dust from dustin there oh this is from maria i also got a thing from maria i wasn't going to write you because i figured so many people do then i remember what you said on the pot about bystander effect everyone assumes everyone else is doing it i feel compelled to write for so many reasons. I feel like we're swell mates. I like that. I'm also vegan. 100% for the animals because I truly love them more than people.

And eating meat is so cur. Speaking of cur, Vegas, the most cur place, capital of cur, but I do love it here. I got this note from Maria in Vegas. I'm from Canada, close to Niagara Falls, another cuh place. Another thing that makes us swell mates is I also have a gay male bestie. Just kidding. I know Andrew is straight. But like you, I sometimes wonder if I'm bi.

Women don't seem capable of hurting women like men do. Lastly, here's what I admire the most about you, how transparent you are. Fuck. Is she calling me pale? the negative fuck the negative losers on reddit similar to you i have struggled with um things and admittedly still do you have helped me realize how fucked up the the diet and exercise industry is i have used a lot of your strategies and continue to do so in my battle i just wanted to thank you you are my taylor swift and i mean that i hope you enjoy the smarties oh this girl gave me um smarties from canada the um the chocolate treat that i love that's like the m&ms of canada so thank you so much and i have a couple notes also that i'm

gonna save for next week that people have given me in person so if you want to write me a note in person for the meet and greet um i will read those on the the fanthrax um eventually so thank you so much maria and derrick let's get to some voice memos or some more voice memos if we have time yeah okay handwritten so nice so nice see them writing it by candlelight so this one comes from kelly okay i know juki this is kelly from tennessee I wanted to start by saying how much I love all three of you and how much I love the podcast. So thank you for doing this every single day. But I wanted to tell you about a mispronunciation that I had. So I was with a group of friends and there was a board game sitting on the table and I was kind of looking

at it for a long time throughout the night as we were talking and it had dark figures on it but I was confused by the the name of the board game uh so anyway once we finally one of my friends held it up to play it I go what the heck is codenames and everybody looked at me and started laughing so hard because the title of the game was Codenames. I had no idea that was one word. Was it one word, Codenames? Is that why she got it wrong? But it clearly said Codenames once they said that.

Codenames. Love you guys. Thanks. Love you, Cal. Sounds like a good candy. Codenames is so fun. I've played it so many times. I've never played it.

What do you do? It's really fun it's um it's a bunch of uh words that you put on like a board like five by five there's cards and their words and then you have each have words and you try to i try to get you to guess what the words are by so i have five cards that five of the cards that i have match five of the words on a board of like 30 words and i want you to guess which word i need to guess get you to guess my five well and by saying but i can't say the word i have to say a word that might connect like three of you know as many as possible so if i three of the words are coffee um is this a joke premise here we go uh bear okay and uh garden i might say

brown and then you might go okay brown is a bear coffee is brown maybe garden is brown i don't know and i'm like black black bear black coffee what about black garden like i'm trying to get your old son but you might so you might say that like she might say black old sun and then sound garden Black. Black Bear, Black Coffee. What about Black Garden? Like, I'm trying to get you. Black Old Sun. But you might, so you might say that, like, she might say Black Old Sun and then Sound Garden, but I don't know if that's good enough. Yeah. And I have to, like, look at you and be like, please know that I meant Sound Garden. It's really fun.

Yeah, no, I like that game. Final thought. Let's do one more Fanthrax. If you haven't yet, I don't know if there's tickets still available, but we're coming to Des Moines, Kansas. Well, we'll be in Des Moines tonight. Yeah, we're in Des Moines right now. Kansas City and Chicago this weekend. We're driving.

Did you say that? There's two shows in Chicago, 7 o'clock and 9.30, so make sure you know that there's. I think they might be sold out. And then, but you might, there might be single tickets available. But Kansas City tomorrow and Friday, you'll definitely, you can, tickets available. By definitely, I mean I think so.

Okay, so this one, an important message. Hi, Andrew, Noah, and Nikki. This is Maddie. First off, I just wanted to say to Andrew, I'm so happy your dad is okay now and doesn't have cancer. And I wanted to share my story because it's kind of weird, but I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was really young. I was like 22 or 23 in 2013, and I had no idea anything was wrong with me.

And my regular doctor found a lump in my neck that I hadn't noticed. And she felt it, you know, how they feel your neck at the beginning of a physical checkup. And I got the lump biopsied. The doctor kind of brushed it off and told me it wasn't very likely that I had thyroid cancer. But yeah, it came back that I did. And my thyroid was taken out, but I'm okay now. And yeah, it's really crazy how you can have cancer and just have no idea. Because thyroid cancer goes very slowly.

And so I probably had that lump growing there for years. And if my doctor hadn't found it, I could be way worse off. So, yeah, it's crazy. She sounds like the girl from Chasing Amy. Yeah, she has a great voice. I mean, I thought a 7-year-old stole her mom's phone. No, she's so cute. What a thing to go through

at that young of an age and you never think in your early 20s that you're gonna have cancer especially a type of cancer that you don't especially that much about the doctor kind of like i love when doctors like probably not gonna and then they got to come back in and be like oh shit i was you know You know, yeah. Yeah. They were Googling back in the fucking kitchen area. Probably just anxiety to lump in your... They do always feel your...

When they're feeling, they feel things. I have a lump right here. It's your Adam's apple, dude. No, no, no. I have a real lump on there, but my dad felt it and he said it's like 99. i know as soon as she we started talking about cancer i was like oh god andrew's gonna get scared here you always hear these cancer stories like my pinky started to hurt a little bit and then i found out it was ankle cancer yeah um no i know i God, girl. But that's crazy.

I wonder how many more years you could have had that and it wouldn't have been like, if it's very slow. And she said she's already had it for years. And again, like we were talking, I'm guessing she left this message after the other day when we were talking about like these appointments that you make to go get your cancers checked out. And it's like, cancers checked out and it's like okay well it's so funny because i tried to make an appointment you remember the other day

we were like let's make our doctor's appointments call the place how long april i mean this is april out of control and i go and i and i made them check before i gave them my insurance information i go i'll pay out of pocket let's just get the let's get let's get the date and then i go okay now and i wasn't really gonna pay out of pocket i was just gonna give them my insurance information. I go, I'll pay out of pocket. Let's just get the date. And then I go, okay, no. And I wasn't really going to pay out of pocket. I was just going to give them my insurance after they gave me the date, but that's ridiculous. I mean, what kind of doctor? Vagina? Yeah.

Not until April. April, dude. What are these people doing? How did you find a dermatologist? Yesterday, I asked that are the doctor friend we have in the building if they could recommend anyone. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. And then the person that came in, she was fantastic, but she was a nurse practitioner that looked over my – the doctor didn't even – I was like, what's going on here?

Yeah. You don't can't see. That's what they said to me. They go, we can have a nurse see you. And I go, I see nurses all the time in my building. And I don't want these people looking at me to check for cervical cancer. No, no offense to nurses. I'm sure nurse practitioners, they pretty much are like, I know as much as the fucking doctor.

Just trust me. They do. But, you know, I want you just. Why do we have doctors then? You know, for peace of mind. To have sex with those nurses. Yeah. It's an interesting, I mean, April.

And they say it was, oh, this was great. So I go, they're like, oh, so you look good. This one's a little irregular. What did they think about the ear thing? It was something like, it sounded grosser than cancer. You ever get that? It's like, oh, it's scabitis, serotipitis, your ear's disgusting. I go, okay, can you just tell me I have cancer?

I know what you had. It's like, I've heard of it before. I know exactly, like, there's a really gross word for it. Oh, and then they, like, describe it. I was like, enough. They go, well, it could be, I get it. It's not, they go, if it grows bigger, we can take it off. Did they say you're just like...

It's from like not showering? No. It's not like a weird growth? Because I've heard of that of like not shower, but like a fungus. Oh, no. They asked me if I was German. And I go, well, okay. Maybe we should get the doctor in here.

No, no, no. I said I was from Eastern Europe, Jew. And they're like, oh, yeah, these kind of skin conditions in that region i go okay all of europe yeah all right so then they go then the thing gets done and they're like how's a year from now and then you check out and the girl goes okay uh how's october uh six uh wednesday around 9 30 i'm like yeah yeah i think i'll work perfect the only things that are scheduled that far in advance are weddings yeah like that's the only thing where you're like i might i've saved this date for something else nothing say it to you like a 9 45 or 11 we might be underwater by then what are you talking about it's crazy sometimes i the dates for

these things i go they go oh your specials coming out and you know at least It's crazy. Sometimes I, the dates for these things, I go, they go, Oh, your specials coming out. And you know, at least that's a real, like April,

2023, whatever it is. And I just go, we're not even going to be around. What are you even talking about? That's not a real date. Why do we even do the calendar? Shouldn't even go that far.

We should just be like penciling in calendar. It should be. Yes. There shouldn't be calendars being made to last that long but this is the problem because this is why you're till april because people are already scheduled so so many people are what's wrong with responsible people filling up these schedules let's just why aren't walk-ins welcome exactly well there are in urgent care but you don't want to go to an urgent care why not i've been to urgent care for so many things and it's been like boom boom get the drops i'm out of there your vagina looked at by an urgent care, but you don't want to go to an urgent care doctor. Why not? I've been to urgent care for so many things, and it's been like, boom, boom, get

the drops, I'm out of there. Okay, so maybe get your vagina looked at by an urgent care doctor. See what happens. I don't know if that happens a lot. I don't think they do generic checkups at the OBGYN. Maybe Urban Meyer can do it for you. By the way, when I tried to do the OBGYN,

the OBGYN, they go, is this for pregnancy? And I'm like, well, if it was, my baby would be born by April. What are you talking? This is ridiculous. It would already be in preschool. It would be driving.

You know what? I'll hold off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell the baby to chill out. Like, imagine being in Texas, and you're on your fifth week of maybe thinking you're pregnant and you're like oh how right april uh no i need to get this done within six days or my life is over ah red tape well this is the thing i think because so many people schedule a year ahead all the schedules filled up with people from 10 months ago that might cancel that day there's also like also think about COVID and how backed up the system is of all the people who avoided appointments.

I mean, I just don't think there are enough doctors to see us all. I mean, yeah. I gotta... It's really weird when one doctor is backed up until April and then you call another doctor and they're like, yeah, we can get you in at 2pm today.

And you're like, are you get you in at uh 2 p.m today and you're like are you bad you're a bad doctor yeah yeah right like why are you alone there's gonna be some difference here yeah there's gotta be that's yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean that's why these people i kind of felt good about because they gave me november yeah initially i'm going to so i got in at an OB. Dr. Fist is going to really help me. Dr. Fist. OB-Y-G-N doesn't feel like one of those eye tests. Whenever I hear that, I just think of an eye test. Like, O-B, like, the letters are just like.

I always think of like a gym. Like you think, like the OB gym. Oh, the OB gym. Like you're going in and I remember Tommy Johnigan had a joke that one time his young boy was going into the doctor and he went to an OBGYN and he like literally like signed up and like he was just sitting in the waiting room with all these women just like very confused. And I was like, you probably went in because you thought it was like a gym. Like you thought it was like for boy, like your little boy getting a physical for your

sports. And you were like, oh, yeah, because I think that's what it was and he was like i think that probably was it well when they asked him to cough and they're like uh sir you have a penis or he's like you do you want me to cough anything uh is there a pussy and you don't have a pussy sir and i'm nine why am i here like what does he do like i think he was filling out the form and it said the date of your last period. And he was like, when I wrote a sentence yesterday. All right. We got to go.

Thank you so much for the Fanthrax. I'm so glad you are alive and well. Kelly. I think it was Kelly that gave us the advice. Pretty much the advice is go to the doctor. Let them check your neck. In April. Yeah.

And follow up on things that people think might be suspicious. And trust your neck. In April, yeah. And follow up on things that people think might be suspicious. And trust your gut. And thank you to everyone else that sent in the fan threats, and especially for the handwritten notes. I'll see you this weekend, Abby, in Kansas City. And maybe I'll see some other besties. Tickets still available for those shows and a lot of dates on the books. Thank you so much for listening to the show, you guys.

We will see you on Monday on the Nikki Glaser podcast. Don't be kuh, Anne. Yeah, can't enough. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up. Well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica.

And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here.

If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist,

and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.