The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #12 The Butt I Was Dealt

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

The Nikki Glaser Pod crew want listeners to have all the swells so between you and Nikki, resentment sucks. Andrew finally sleeps in the perfect temperature, Nikki comes up with a pitch for Shark Tank while a shark appears in the distance, they urge women to let go... of flatulence and cover a range of topics in the news. They read off some listener submitted Grossest Thing You've Ever done stories and round it all off with a Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast,

and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports.

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Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki.

Yeah, here I am. Hey, Noah. How's it going? Hey, besties. Everyone listening out there. Thursday show. Let's kick it off. Between you and me, I'm coming in. First of all, I'm in a great mood as I always am when I

start this damn podcast. I'm sad that I have three days ahead of me where we won't be doing this. It's been a great week so far. But I've got really nothing to report. I'm just kind of happy. I have the day off today from my show that I'm filming. We're getting ready to wrap on it. It's like, well, not ready. We have like a couple more episodes to tape, tape, record. I don't know what they do anymore. And then I might stick around the Cayman Islands for a week just to like hang out. And I mean, I'm already on vacation with this show. For me, hanging out is going to be hard. But today we're going to a really nice hotel with like a ton of the people from the crew.

And we're getting a cabana. And we're going to like hang out by the pool and just hang. And it'll be fun. It's an hour away though. It's like a long drive and part of me just wants to like be in bed all day and catch up on sleep but I can't sleep.

I'm just too excited about my life. But Andrew said the other day, he was like, that's good, you know, because you used to be so, I used to hear you be so depressed that you just wanted to sleep to escape your life

and now you don't want to sleep because sleep isn't better than life. And that's a good feeling to have. But I'm sleep deprived. There's no question about it. But do you ever get so, like, you know you're sleep deprived, but because you can just add up your hours, and you can't even do the math because you're so tired but um you just know you're not getting enough hours but you're just not also not tired i've

never really had that i okay i do know that point i call it like the point of delirium where it's like i'm just so crazy but like hyper but it's definitely not good for my brain yes it's like you're yeah well mean, sleep deprivation like makes you like drunk and then, yeah, I just don't, my biggest fear in life, my biggest stressor is not getting enough sleep. Like if I see that in my future, you know, that as working with me for a while, like if I look at my week and I go like, when am I going to nap? When am I going to sleep? I start to like panic, but I don't know. I just don't, I'm just like so jazzed and like amped about, uh, life right now. I'm pretty happy.

Um, which is a weird feeling, but, um, I don't know. We were just talking off air about resentments and I've got quite a few a-brewin'. Just like where you just are... For me, resentment is a kind of newish word because I'm just like, oh, I hate that person or I'm mad at that person. But resentment is interesting because it's all you. It doesn't really have anything to do with that person. And it's just, it's interesting to learn so late in life that when you're mad at someone,

it's not anything that you literally, they have no part in it. It's just you. And like, it's really hard to grasp that, it's always the case i mean literally oh i mean maybe if you like someone murders your dog or something and you resent them maybe that's not your fault well it is because you could you could let it go i guess takes a strong person no what do you what are your the resentments you carry? I guess a lot of them is just like stuff I have to deal with in my relationship where I know that it's a narrative that I create in my head and a story. But it's just so much easier to carry around a resentment and just blame it on somebody else.

Like what's a story you tell yourself? That is definitely a hard question to put me on the spot with. No, but like I get it. Like you go, oh, this person did this thing. They don't care about me. They don't care. Yes, that's a huge one. As much as I love them.

Yes. I have separation anxiety. I'm like a beagle. You know, I just have like dog problems. And it's all on me and things that I have to work on myself. But I hate resentment. I wish I could just kind of get a lobotomy or something. Just take out the part of my brain that feels them. I know. And the thing is, I've been trying so hard to voice my resentments as soon as they come up. So that,

cause so often they're not what I perceive them to be. The story I'm telling myself is not even like the person isn't meaning to make me feel that way. Even though no one can make you feel anyway, I'm tired of people saying made me feel, but you know, even like as simple as, I mean, we talked about this the other day, I don't know if it was on one of the lost episodes that didn't record, but like when

someone's driving in front of you and they're going slow or they're tailgating you, like, it doesn't matter really. I mean, I guess it's causing you a little anxiety because you could stop short and then they could slam into you but so it could harm you but i mean someone driving slow or someone just i watch andrew get so much road rage not rage but like road agita and i always just want to be like it's like it's not this doesn't the yeah this isn't going to change your life in any way like you know and just it's but it's all resentments of like this person you're telling a story like this person is stupid they're slow they are selfish they are dumb and it's like maybe they are going the speed limit or maybe

they're go maybe they're high they're going under it and then you're like why are they driving high and you're like well maybe they are struggling just? And you're like, well, maybe they are struggling. You just don't know what's going on in their world. You gave me the best advice yet. Unfortunately, it is on the lost episode. You and Andrew had a heart-to-heart conversation. And I asked you, how do you start that heart-to-heart conversation? Because I only know how to start it after a big

blowout right after an argument and I just want to be able to start it without that and you gave me the best advice um I think I said couch it start it with compliments of like because when Andrew and I were um I guess no I was I was brought up something to someone recently that they were like hurting my feelings by something they were doing

or I felt my feelings were hurt because the way I interpreted someone's actions and I wanted to like explain it to them

and I just realized oh the reason that this hurts me is not because you're doing it it's because the way you treat me otherwise is so amazing that when you do these little things it makes it so much worse because it's so the opposite of what I go to you for so I couched it as like you make me feel so good

all the time and that's why I'm wanting what that's why I like being around you like having you around me that's why I want to be close to you because you always build me up and make me feel amazing and cool and beautiful and funny and all these things so when you do a little slight it just stings so much more than if you were just like, uh, just any other person. It's like, because you're so great, I am more sensitive to the smallest light. And that's a problem I'm working on, but I just want to let you know, like how fucking good you make me feel. And I wouldn't even bring this up unless you did make me feel so good. And the person was like, I feel like you're just like kind of bullshitting me right now and I was like I'm not like this isn't

me trying to make it palatable for you this is me actually processing why the fuck this is annoying me so much that you did this little thing because I feel ridiculous being so hurt by this seemingly innocuous slight and it was I was sincere I was like that's why it bothers me and then like if if a random person did this to me it wouldn't bother me but it's like i rely on you it's like you know when your your shower has cold water your shower that you trust to have warm water all the time suddenly has cold water you like freak out now if you're at a hotel and it had cold water you just like go like oh this is just a cold shower and i won't't, I'm going to change rooms. You don't like yell at the shower and try to fix it. You're just like, this is the way it is. I'm not going to be around the shower anymore. But suddenly this

warm shower spitting out fucking coldness. It's, it's, it's worse because no, I trust this shower. It's my shower. So that was my advice. Yeah, definitely leading with a compliment and using positive reinforcement, praising the action that I liked is just, it's so hard for me to do it just like out of the blue. But I want to say thank you because I did it last night and it definitely helped me. So thank you. Yeah, you were saying like Pavlov's dogs,

like if you associate, like when you make up with someone after a fight, if you're starting with a fight and you get like the makeup sex or the kiss or the niceness afterwards, you start to associate the warm feeling of those, that affection with the tumult that has preceded it. And so if you start with good, get into the bad, end with the good, you might not start salvating when you say,

can we talk? All right. Let's get Andrew in here, process more of our feelings, get into the news. Lots to talk about today. It's the last show of the week, week three. We're going out strong. Make sure you follow us on Instagram, Nikki Glazer Pod. Lots of original content on there. I think we're going to videotape one of the segments today so you could see us in action doing it. We'll put it up on there. It's a private account, so we have to approve you, but we want you there. So if you're listening right now, go follow us on Instagram, NikkiGlazerPod, and we'll get Andrew in here right after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early? Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less

and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups,

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Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere.

It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. or wherever you get your podcasts. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music. I like to isolate each instrument. The rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Hey, hey, hey, hey, careful babe, there's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere.

A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. Alrighty, Andrew, welcome to the show, buddy. How'd you sleep last night? I slept well. I slept in my bed, not the couch. You were gone? Wait, I... Hold on. Wait, can I say that? I was gone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you were gone, so I got to do the thermostat at what I like, which is about 45 degrees hotter than what you like. You're a Eskimo in a ice luge who has a cold heart. And I am a hot boy in New Orleans with Juvenile. If you're a hot sleeper,

what the hell is wrong with you? People who bundle up in fucking flannel pajamas and then they get in... I've never understood flannel pajamas flannel sheets i sweat so goddamn much when i sleep why do you sweat so much i don't know my body like regulates itself and it's made to be like it's efficient and it knows that like i might be sleeping outside sometimes because i'm a human being that's meant to be sleeping outside homo sapiens what up i'm almost done with that.

Blinkus. Not really, though. Yeah, go ahead. And I don't need to like, I'm not like this little tiny shivering baby bird that needs to be like fucking. But you're not sweaty during the day. I just wonder what happens at night that makes your body. I don't know.

My body relaxes and it just gets hot. And I bundle makes your body. I don't know. My body relaxes, and it just gets hot. And I bundle, and I feel, I don't know. I just like. Is it tough, though, when you're dating someone or something, and you sweat so much? Are you insecure about it at all? Oh, my God. I'm not insecure about literally anything anymore.

And even my old sweat problems when I used to be more insecure were not. They were funny. My ex-boyfriend used to call me sweaty Betty. I used to say I wet the bed. I mean, it was more like, oh babe, what is going on? It was just like, I don't know. I'd wake up just like at a fucking puddle and my clothing used to go flap on the,

you know, as maybe a side effect of Zoloft. But I don't really get that sweaty when I sleep anymore. It used to happen even if the room was cold and stuff. So, um, I don't really know, but it, no, I, I, I'm literally like not insecure about, um, anything. Like I fart in front of you now. I mean, that is like, that's not just like you. That's like pretty much anyone I'll fart in front of. Like, I don't care. Like, I used to be so embarrassed about farts. Like, if someone heard me fart and like, now I can talk about the fact, like,

I don't know what happened. I just don't care. I love when I look over and I see that look on your face of just, it's like, I don't know, a fart face. You're not smiling. You're also, you're just, there's something so peaceful about a fart face and you spread your cheeks your right because last night you were on no usually i don't hide the the sound

i'm around you but last night you were on instagram live and i wanted i had a pretty deece one and and i'm like on my period kind of it's like a phantom period like i'm having every symptom but i only bled for one day it's really strange but um you know you get kind of gassy when you're on your period right noah am i alone here no i guess i am uh no you're not alone no she was muted because she was on her period too we've synced up even on zoom oh actually no i'm supposed to get my period like tomorrow so we're slowly slowly sinking back up. Okay, mine might start up again. Who knows?

But yeah, I let one out last night when Andrew was on the Instagram live. And yeah, I spread my cheeks so it wouldn't be a sound. But I really was only doing that because I didn't want to distract from the riveting show you were providing your 69 viewers. I mean, you say that. Checkmark. It was very late at night. Also, you were in the dark. I wasn't even going to say that. Yes, you were. You assumed that I was going you say that check mark first of all it was very late at night also you were in the dark i wasn't gonna say that yes you were you assumed that i was gonna say that i was gonna say it's very late at night i hate when you're right about what i predict because then i have no rebuttal other than to say oh wow you finished my sentence perfectly exactly like maybe better than i would have because you know more words than me.

But have you farted in front of a guy you fuck? No, I haven't tried that yet, but because I haven't fucked a new person. Or whatever, you know, fool around. If I fool around with someone, I would fart in front of, like if I'm considering the people that I would consider fooling around with, yes, I would fart in front of um like if i'm considering the people that i would consider fooling around with yes i would fart in front of them i i would there are maybe ones that i wouldn't i don't want to i don't want to be like oh this is a a fun thing but if i did it i wouldn't be horrified and like i'm not gonna like try everything in my life to never have them hear me fart like I used to.

I do feel like there's a way to ease into it as a guy. I just feel like if you farted, let's say, in the car about five hours before we're going to fuck, I wouldn't even think twice about it. But if we were in bed and we were about to have sex, it's all time appropriate. Yeah, and I'm not going gonna try to fart around someone like i do want to keep things sexy and i do think it's important to like not be like be too bro-y around guys that you're attracted to but i um i don't know i think they're kind of cute i want you to fart in my mouth would that turn you on or turn you off um listen i'm into some things that not everyone's into if a guy i really loved was into me farting in his mouth, I would feel like there's something going.

It's weird, but I wouldn't judge it, honestly. That's fucking dope, dude. It really is. If they wanted me to shit in their mouth, that's just a mess, and I don't want to smell my own shit. Well, the cleanup between that and the sweat. Someone asked me the other day, like casually, like, would you, if like a guy wanted to pee on you, would you be into that? And I was like in the shower.

Sure. If, if a guy wanted me to pee on them. Sure. What about at a funeral? What? No, I'm just saying like the most absurd time a guy would like, it's yeah, it's all appropriate. It's all like, yeah, because I'd be wearing black and if I got pee on it wouldn't you know that's a good point stain but i'm i'm into like experimenting like i'm into some kinky stuff that not everyone is into like my sexual

proclivities will not overlap perfectly with anyone so that means i'm gonna be introducing someone down the line to something that they might not be aroused by themselves and therefore I probably will have to do some things that I don't really want to do you think women are act not don't want to do but I'm not women act more

crazy because they're holding in so much gas and that if they were able to fart they wouldn't yell about you not doing the dishes I was going to say on Conan the other day that men's emotions men's like intense feelings are like women's farts you just hold them in until you can't

until it's so painful that you just let it out at a time that you're not ready to and then it comes out of nowhere and it's so it just ruins the mood and you really can't go back from it. Because if you fart as a woman and it comes out

and you've never farted before in your life, when it comes out, you're going to be embarrassed. It's going to be at a weird time. It's going to be a sound that you didn't mean to make. And when you're a man and you're hiding in emotions about the way your dad didn't make mean to make and when you're a man and you're hiding in like emotions

about the way your dad didn't let you you know fart in front of them yeah yeah i mean i feel it's gonna come out as a burst of anger that's i feel like guys like they'll do like a dutch oven to their girlfriend and then not expect them to fart like the difference between a dutch oven and no farts is wild yeah like i mean i've dutch oven girls before and it's they seem to really i mean that is a cruel joke and prank i don't like when you fart around me and i have to like smell it but if you're across the room and fart i think it's funny farts are so funny they're the funniest things ever made they're they're they're the the sound you can't it a fart machine is even funny a whoop remember whoopie cushion came out oh yeah and you came out you don't remember when

they came out but like yeah they were they were around didn't come out the cushion's been around since like 1932 probably really dude it's a balloon it's one of the most basic fucking games ever wiki it oh yeah yeah no can we get a research on um when the fart when the whooping remember are you 200 years old shout out to kyle dunnigan he has a tesla and the only thing we liked about the car was the fart that fart noise is that you can do in this in the car you can like make the person in the back seat sound like that that they farted yeah he spent 80 grand to do um specific farts it's so funny it really is i um yeah how did you sleep by the way well um i slept great i mean yeah i'm i'm sleeping when i do sleep sleeping hard hard, sleep mask. I had a sleepover with some friends and brought my sleep mask with me. And that was the only thing I brought.

I was just like, I washed my face, I brushed my teeth, and I was like, I'm going, brought my phone and my sleep mask. That's all I need out on the road. No toothbrush? No, I had already brushed my teeth before I left. But you figure you're sleeping there. You're going to wake up in the morning with rank breath now. I don't mind.

I just like, there's an explanation for that. It's like, oh, it's, you know. Cum in your mouth? Yeah. Old cum. Oh, my God. Andrew. What?

Andrew. Don't tell people my midnight snack. You think cum helps your teeth get whiter because it's white? No, I do not. I don't. That's not a thing. Well, you said there was cum inside your Invisalign, so wouldn't that help? I didn't say that.

I'm just kidding. We could take that out, I guess. What did I say? There was cum in my Invisalign. So wouldn't that help? I didn't say that. I'm just kidding. We could take that out, I guess. What did I say? There was gum in my Invisalign. You said you gave a blowjob with the Invisalign in. I have done that before. And I do recommend it because it makes your teeth very soft around the edges. And you don't have to worry about scraping or biting a penis.

I should bring that on Shark Tank. Can you pitch that to me real quick, Shark Tank style? Yeah. Hi, sharks. Are you... Wait, hold on hi sharks are you worried about hi sharks hold on hi sharks do you want to straighten your teeth while giving a pleasure to your man that you're going to resent later because he did nothing to you well then i have the perfect thing for you it's called invisicum it's actually wait it's called come a line it's wait is that a shark out there whoa i think i just come along i literally think i just i'm seeing a shark in

the ocean no it's probably this is really fucking up your pitch. Well, I saw a real shark. I started pitching to that one. I don't know. I think that was Mr. Beautiful. Mr. Beautiful. No, but really, I think there should be mouth guards for women to give blowjobs. We talked about this yesterday. Women are always so worried about

their teeth when they give a blowjob and they have to do this grandpa face where they're like, oh, sunny day, how about nickel? And you look like an old toothless turtle when really you could just wear a mouth guard or Invisalign and just go to town and smile the whole way through

and straighten your teeth. I think the Invisalign should come with a vibrating feature. Oh, that's it. That's what we were talking about. And a thing like Pop Rocks. Oh, wait. Wouldn't that hurt? It's fun.

I've had a girl blow me one time with Pop Rocks in her mouth. Yeah. I want to try that. I love candy. Oh, it rocks, boy. And I popped. Oh, my God. That's so fun.

Wait, who did that to you? This was years ago. This is when Pop Rocks were big. Oh, when Pop Rocks first came out with the Whoopie Cushion back in 1843 when you were a young tot running around the slums of Brooklyn. The Whoopie Cushion coming out, when it came out, you think when things just waft into your field of vision is when they come out.

Let's see when the Whoopie Cushion came out. I'm guessing the 60s. 1920s. Yes. When were they popularized, though? When did it get popular? Usage. 1988.

Oh, if the victim happens to sit on the opening, blocking the airflow, it can rupture the cushion instead. For this reason, some pranksters place the cushion so the opening extends towards the front of the chair, which is less likely to be sat on. However, this can make the cushion

more conspicuous. Oh my God, people on Wikipedia are What are you about to announce? Harry Houdini coming out? Oh my God. You have a very good Harry Houdini. And then, go underwater. Gather round, everyone. Come look at the new blowjob mouth guard.

Come along. Come along on the ride with us. Your teeth will be white and your dick will be hard. To come along, we'll take care of everything. Harry Houdini next. You're good at that. Thanks. Compliments.

Let's get into the news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. You're a little late. Did you not get to the news desk in time? What's going on? Yeah, I was in the bathroom. I apologize. I was taking a dumpski. that's where poop

comes out of my butt no what is going on in this episode oh i don't know we're having fun it's thursday well you know friday's always our funnest i know we're having fun but what about the listener yeah i would guarantee that our best friends out there are having a fun time out there and they're having all the swells wait do you hope that they are or do you guarantee i'm almost gonna start guaranteeing but i just hope for now but in two months or so i'm gonna throw out some guarantees i'm just letting you know stay ready oh boy you're gonna love this headline nick i hope you're sitting down i am all right you're sitting right next to me. You can definitely see that. Yep.

I see you sitting there. All right. A home inspector caught on nanny cam pleasuring himself with an Elmo doll faces charges. Home inspector. So. Someone. Yeah. A homeowner hired a 59-year-old Kevin Van Leuven, shout out, to inspect property.

A nursery camera detected movement in the nursery, so the 22-year-old homeowner, wow, humble brag, checked her phone and caught Van Leuven in the act. After he finished pleasuring himself, he returned the doll to its original place. When questioned, Van Leuven said he moved the doll to check an electrical outlet. These excuses. Wait, is this a Tickle Me Elmo? Was it like the vibrating, like the laughing Tickle Me Elmo? I mean, that's what Elmo's into.

I think it was Choke Me Elmo. Is this guy. What? Oh, wait, there's a video of it. Oh, Jesus. Do we have a video? He's wearing a mask at least he's oh my god he literally just is carrying this elmo the elmo looks like a victim it looks like he's holding

elmo by the neck yeah it really does look sexual you guys he is traipsing across a nursery with an elmo he looks so terrifying at least he has his mask on um oh man it is funny like look how empty that room is like the electrical outlet like he's he's saying like elmo was in the way so i had to like dude do we have like the footage of the jerking off no but have you ever jerked off on the job um no no no no i have i had a few you had sex at work yes yes a lot what do you mean what do you mean oh can you talk about that yeah yeah i used to um my uh ex-boyfriend and i got together before people on our show knew and he used to like we used to just he used to like bang me in my office like behind like where like very i mean people could have seen it was so thrilling so hot he used to like sneak into like he used to do this whole building because he worked in there for

years and years and i was like kind of new to this building and he used to like be like meet me on the 17th floor and i just take a like elevator up he's like third door on the right and i would just like walk in and it would be this like dark edit bay that like no one would be in that he would like have access to and we'd go in there i remember one time i came in i was wearing my robe that like we had these robes that would go over our wardrobe so that we would get stains on them while we waited and i was wearing nothing underneath and he didn't know that because he had just seen me but i was like i'll surprise him and i just remember that's the best thing when you like do something hot and a guy's like what the

fuck like their their minds are kind of blown that's like my favorite guy reaction is like i can't believe that you just did that like being in awe of me and that's all the porn i watch too is like men being like proud of like what a whore you are man that story reminds me of when i would walk dogs and go in people's bathroom and jerk off you mean mine you don't want to say that on air andrew yeah you do he's never going back to that life yeah he can throw it that's the past wait you you definitely jerked off at my apartment. Oh, yeah. You would stay there and watch the movie Jane Marion.

When I would smell your pillow. Oh, God. No, I wouldn't smell your pillow. There was too much sweat on it. But no, I would masturbate in the bathroom. Never on an Elmo doll. I would always keep it PC. And I would come and I'd be like whoa you did it again i'd

always be surprised and that's my favorite reaction to myself i mean that's that that you guys got to go look at that elmo doll picture i mean it's kind of disturbing it that guy is definitely like he i mean why elmo i mean I think that was the only doll in there. I think Cookie Monster, I'd rather fuck. These guys are doing it because of Elmo. I mean, he'd gobble it up and make a mess. You and Cookie Monster have so much in common, I just realized. I feel like you eat the same and you're like the same happiness.

That's how you eat. If you fuck oh my god he would be the best at eating oh my god that guy for what it's worth i'll just say that um the elmo guy this was not an isolated incident he enjoys the idea of he there's there's a pedophilic nature to this. In a nursery, I mean, let's just be glad it was just a doll. There's cameras everywhere, folks. I wonder if he'll have to be like he's a sexual predator now because he did it in a nursery. I wonder. Who knows? Next story. We'll find out probably

in a month when he's back in the news. All right. Esther Peril breaks down relationships into pandemics. Essentially... Wait,emics. Essentially. Wait, please, Andrew. Just honor her by not saying her name is. Esther Perel. Is she famous or something?

Yeah. Oh. I mean, Noah and I love her books. She wrote Hiding in Captivity and other affairs. Well, in that case, Ether says that the crisis of the pandemic acted as an accelerator in relationships urging people to move in together have kids get married but can also make them ask the question if life is short i'm not doing this for another 20 years yes rituals ease us through transitions rituals are routines you say rituals like you like we

don't know what you're reading like you have to read like we're not reading along with you. You know what I mean? I feel like you read like we're also on the page, so when you say rituals, we can just know it's rituals because we're reading, but we're not. So you have to say rituals. Okay. I would do that.

Why are you so mean to him, Nikki? No. Why are you mean to me? Don't bully him. Well, because I'm trying to make him a better newsman, y'all. But you also want me to get through the fucking stories quick so you

understand that I have trouble reading. First of all, you know I have trouble reading in general. I didn't know that. No, I don't. I'm a very good reader. You're supposed to say no. You actually can read all right. No, I just want to get through it fast. There's a lot of words here that Noah wrote. Well, just rituals is a word that you. You're supposed to say no. You actually can read all right. No, I just want to get through it fast. There's a lot of words here that Noah wrote.

Well, just rituals is a word that you maybe not want to skip. Rituals ease us through transitions. Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning. Esther encourages post-breakup rituals because they help us understand that although a relationship is over, we are not over. What's a post-breakup rituals because they help us understand that although a relationship is over, we are not over. What's a post-breakup ritual?

So like a post-breakup ritual would be like writing a letter to the person, going to a spot that you guys would go on dates and like have a moment there. So don't look at a breakup so negatively. Be like, we're ending, but we're not ending. Yes, love it, love it, love it. Everything must end, whether you die or you break up. You will have a breakup at some point in your life. So everything will end.

Endings don't need to be the saddest thing. They can be almost celebrated or honored. Noah, is this what the gist is yes yeah that's exactly it and to andrew's point about going to a place that you went with your ex like instead of seeing it as a place you went with your ex take your girlfriends there go there connect connect with other people and just um you know don't look at breakup as such a negative thing yes cut that ritual. She was saying how like a wedding,

like you have an engagement, a wedding, like you're celebrating and then a divorce is like dark and, you know, take divorce photos. That's what I would do. Yeah, it's all about your perception of it and how you present it. Whenever people tell me they're going through a divorce, I say, congratulations.

I always do. And it's not something that I'm just like faking. I really do think it's so brave to have sworn to, to be, or, you know, like not sworn in, but to have vowed to do something forever and then realize that you've

changed your mind. Like I had a good friend, um, possibly a close relative who quit their job, resigned. Cause they were like, I don't want to do this anymore. And then they changed quit their job, resigned, because they were like, I don't want to do this anymore. And then the job was like, we understand. We'll miss you.

And then the person changed their mind and was like, you know what, actually, that was a rash decision. I didn't think about it enough. I'm going to ask for it back. And I was like, I said congratulations on both. None of those are embarrassing. You just, at least you are doing what you want. And so I think when you break up,

you should treat it as a celebration because just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it was a failure. That is not a cliche thing. That is true. A 10 year relationship deserves a party. Even if it ends, you know? Yeah.

I mean, I look at my, whatever my parents divorce and like the divorce was horrible but then the 25 years of fighting after is way worse than the actual breakup and you just wasted time arguing ego just drop it and understand like yeah we had a great time it's time to move on you don't need to it, but you need to work on your resentments, which Noah and I talked about. Of like, okay, why am I, my husband cheated on me? What did I, not that it's my fault, but what's my role in this?

Do I need to let this ruin my life? Do I need to play the victim here? Maybe. But what can I do to take back control and not let this ruin my life? And it's hard to do. It really is. It takes a lot of work and a lot of self-reflection. I recommend start stripping.

There we go. Next story. Men are often lying when they say they want an older partner to study shit. I love these studies. Like, it's not like. Yeah. I mean, these are all studies that I've conducted just based on my dms slides what's the youngest guy in your dms these days i get like 19 year olds jesus what do they say 21 you know i uh if you're interested in a younger man i know you probably

don't want to go it's always very self-deprecating like you would never want me like the young boys don't have a lot of confidence in that way they're not like i'm a young buck that can fuck you better than an old man like it's always like you probably don't want me um yeah you always get mad when they're like oh can you teach me a few things and you're like no algebra like i don't know what i don't know even how to do long division anymore. Yeah, I can do your long cock. I can do half of the ACT's written essay part. No, I, yeah, I've always said that I don't want to be a fetish to a young boy.

So if like men are like, you know, into older women, I don't want to like contribute to that. It like makes me uncomfortable. But I'm definitely down to... I think that I'm okay now with engaging in romantic relationships that I know aren't going

to stand the test of time. I can picture them as like, oh, they exist in this moment. They don't need to be forever. We have to get the phone. Yeah, I just think that... Wait, what were we talking about? I don't know. We forever so like when i don't want to we have to get the phone yeah i just think that wait what were we talking about i don't know we got a phone call got a phone call uh we were talking about age and and yeah like yeah i just don't want to be you don't want to

be like fetishized but at what point does it become a guy is going to use sleeping with me because i know that i've asked guys this before like what's the oldest woman you've ever been with and when i was 20 something and they in a guy my age 25 year old would be like i slept with a 46 year old be like oh my god what was it like and they're like oh and they can like say something that will make me feel young and validate me and i just don't ever want a guy to be like her skin was saggy and her tits were old or like i there's just so many insecurities i have about men saying mean things about me even though i just said i wasn't insecure i don't think you would ever even hook up with a guy who is that

um nasty yeah that was like a guy who's who would actually say that about a woman is disgusting and i don't understand what guys say to get hot girls to fuck them and if they think telling a hot girl that nikki glazer isn't that hot when you take your clothes off because they'll be like oh i slept with nikki glazer because i'm famous ish they they might use that someday down the road to get laid with like younger girls and like the girl will be insecure and be like, you did, you slept with her. And they'll be like, yeah, but she wasn't even that hot or whatever. And then the girl will like them more. Like guys will just like lie to get,

I just don't ever want to be used as like a novelty. Yeah. The problem is, is a lot of times too, like a guy who's like, I don't know, 28, 29 will sleep like a, with a 50 year old or whatever, or like someone older and be like, it always feels like it will only be a one-time thing yeah which is sad because it's talked about like yeah one time i fucked his 50 or you know it's never like oh and then we actually dated and i and i you know met her kids and we we got along really well and she loves to read and she loves

to travel it's always like i fucked her and she had faked her tits were actually firmer yeah i mean i am finding that like even with the small amount of sexual experience i have in the grand scheme of things it is not a lot i've had like a lot of dark days um like my sexual like i really haven't had regular sex in years and years. And then before that it was just like the same person forever. But I feel like I am so much better sexually than most young girls. Like I just, I know I am, I'm better in bed. And that's just not because of my experience,

but because I'm just like a woman who's comfortable with her body. And I think that, that, that, um, yeah, like I, I feel like I have something to offer the young, young boys.

I'm not opposed to it, but so it says they're lying. Look, you reached the farting stage, which is the stage you start to fuck like a champ because you have let all your insecurities go. Yeah. And all my farts go.

The findings. Oh, well essentially there was a survey and on average respondents said they were all your insecurities go. Yeah, and all my farts go. The findings, oh, well, essentially there was a survey and on average respondents said they were seeking a partner who was within two years of their own age.

Yeah. Results showed that while members of both sexes between the ages of 18 to 23 typically accepted invitations from users close to their own age, it declined for older men. Hmm.

The number, oh, it declined for, oh, older men would tend to only want people in their closer age. Yes. Closer age. The number dropped drastically to 25% once men reached the age of 30. On the other hand, older women were

far more likely than men to contact partners their own age as they got older. So men are just staying in that young age and women are more inclined to. inclined yeah they keep getting younger you guys get older they like the fucking mcconaughey line from oh yeah what was that line they love them high school girls i get older and they stay the same age and back then we were all like that was the coolest man yeah it's really he's like no that made his career um yeah it's really nauseating. He's like, no, that made his career. Yeah, it's gross.

But, you know, this is nothing new. Sports story, though. Are you ready for this? Yeah, let's do our sports moment. You get one a week. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. Oh, do you sound thrilled? Okay.

Shaquille O'Neal, who's a basketball player, Nikki, paid for a stranger's engagement ring when he overheard him asking how much is left to pay it off. Shaquille says, I'm just trying to make people smile. Cute. So essentially, at first, he didn't want to take it. The guy, he said, he was like, man, I can't do that. But I told him, don't worry about it.

I do it all the time. O'Neal says he didn't intend for the moment to go viral because he does it all the time and not for that reason oh my god cute oh my god i love him and you know what i believe this that's so cool i want to be so rich that's got to be a great feeling that you could buy a diamond that was mined by people, slaves just that like you overhear someone struggling to get their change together

at the counter and you just go I got it I mean if Shaquille O'Neal is doing this all the time I got to start following around Shaquille O'Neal and by I got it I mean like you pick the nickel off the ground that they dropped and you go I got it and you give it back to them and then you wait patiently for them to pay and then you pull out your... No, I think it's just

so cool that to do that for people and to... Yeah, like that's the thing about like tipping even $5 extra on a meal or something like this doesn't... You don't have to be Shaquille O'Neal to like kind of spread this kind of joy financially.

It's like two or three extra dollars when you go out to eat, like for a tip, like on top of the tip that you already left will make someone's day better than it would have been. It's that simple. And I really implore everyone out there to,

cause you'll get it back. If you can afford to an extra $5 tip, whether you're at Starbucks, like, can you imagine tipping 100% on your Starbucks drink? It's just two drinks. Just add on $5. Once in a while,

these people are, they work so hard. They'll fucking, they'll smile so much. They'll be like, really? Like, and it's just $5. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

If you're the woman marrying that guy and Shaquille O'Neal paid off the ring, would you find that as a turn off at all? No, I'd be like, that is so cool. No, because you already know the guy is probably hopefully you know the guy's finances and it is

really dumb though for that guy to buy a ring or for that woman to expect that guy to buy a ring when he that woman to expect that guy to buy a ring when he doesn't have the money for it. I think that's just ridiculous. I think wedding culture and diamonds and all that stuff is just so stupid if you can't afford it. Unless you have Shaquille O'Neal there.

You know what I did yesterday? Yeah, just always shop where he shoots. In that tone. Shops. Shops. Sorry, I was distracting. shop where he shoots in that tone i um shops shop i uh i saw the guy cutting um the bushes outside and i feel like the the gardener at like a hotel never gets a thank you and he works harder than like anyone and i just made sure to say thank you to him and he looked at me like no one has ever said thank you before and he goes goes, you're welcome, man.

And whatever, I know I'm like, well, I did my deed. But it really was just a very little deed that I swear to you, the guy deserves it more than anyone. Yep. Yep. Just say thank you more. Put good energy out there. Try to make people smile by telling women that they should smile more.

Just whatever you got to do. do well thank you for that sports moment that was very palatable for me I know, me and Noah figured out the exact sports moment, it has no stats no wins or losses it has nothing to do with the game well that's for you because last time you actually had one of those you fucked it up

royally, sorry Kansas Kansas City Royals all right so let's get into uh a return to a segment that we started out remember a couple weeks ago when we did um what's the blankest thing you've ever done and it was the category of grossest well we shared our grossest things and boy we got some submissions for some grossest things from our listeners, our besties. We're going to read some of them now and just... They are gross. Really? You've read them?

I read one line and I got sick. Okay. Okay. These are our listeners. Wait. Sorry. Noah. I just want to say some of them are edited down a bit.

Sure. So I apologize. The grossest thing because we do get long emails thank you Noah for reading through them you can always write the show at the Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail dot com yes no and these are just some of them we've had so many but there's just not enough time for them all so

thank you to everyone I know our listeners are more information Lacey let's start I just saw one of the sentences. Luckily, our listeners are gross. I need more information, Lacey. Let's start with Kelsey. Kelsey, she says, I had the flu about 10 years ago. I was sent home from school for being sick and started to feel super nauseous.

I didn't want to throw up on my mom's couch, so I ran up the stairs but didn't make it to the bathroom. So instead, I stuck my head over the banister of the staircase and just let the vomit project down to the first floor like a waterfall. I also simultaneously peed my pants. My mom made me clean it up, that bitch. Fuck your mom. Your mom made you clean up your throw up, you poor little girl. I'm so sorry.

Your mom is a cunt. Are you being serious? Yeah, your mom's a cunt. No, that girl needs to clean that shit. Don't call your mom a bitch cunt are you being serious yeah your mom's a cunt no that girl needs to clean that shit don't call your mom a bitch because she didn't clean get first of all get to the bathroom grow up kelsey was so sick she was pissing and vomiting at the same time uh and and uh she was trying to make a beautiful waterfall scene in her house it's like those aren't cheap to do an indoor waterfall i i for your mom to make you clean that up

is a miss hannigan move you know what i would have done orphanage style i would have made her mom i would have made her eat it off the floor off my nice wooden floor no that is that's the one thing i love about when i was a kid was when i got sick my mom would really like baby me and like never make me feel bad clean everything up it was like the time from my netflix special that i said that i had uh engaged in some sex where some maybe some stuff happened some stuff came out and my ex-boyfriend acted like when i came back to bed after running to the shower and crying in embarrassment came back to the bed and it was the sheets were done it was as if it never happened and it wasn't i wasn't blamed for it it was like that was like it was just like so nice that all my mess was cleaned up and that's what that mom should have done for you yeah but her mom didn't tear that ass up next next grossest thing number two lacy lacy's just one line and this is it's ridiculous it was

the best email well lacy i don't know if you're like an er nurse this would make more sense you guys everyone just hold on yes if you're driving if you're walking up some stairs about to vomit run now to the bathroom because you're about to release it this is gross guys i'm not kidding you like i don't want a trigger warning lacy's oh my god lacy says i had to pull maggots out of someone's dick hole okay i don't even know what that how this could happen i don't know how you could love someone enough to do this i actually maybe if i was on a desert island was with my loved one and there was no maybe she's a pallbearer like she works at a funeral or something i'm not a pallbearer i love like operating on people but this is too much like i would i i got to pull a piece of coral out of someone's foot the other

day and it was fucking amazing yeah it's like maggots out of a dick hole. Oh, it was so good. Just searching for it and pulling it out with a tweezer. It felt so satisfying. So maybe I can see some enjoyment in maggots out of a dick hole, but I don't know. Maybe he has foreskin and it just like, you know, he got some food stuck in there. And then next thing you know, maggots come out. Maggots would have to mean he's a corpse, though. I know. Did Lacey give any other information or

was this one sentence it was just one sentence she did say um let me know if you need more info well yes lacy please we need more info the fact that your name is lacy is also like the most juxtaposed name for pulling maggots out of a dick hey if you need more info about me pulling maggots out of a dick hole yes we need one more sentence please at least i would i would take a um i don't know a novella about this yeah i would i would listen to a whole blinkus about this all right micah is next micah i went to a guy's house after being at the bar and we started hooking up before we were about to have sex i realized i still had a tampon in the guy got up to grab a condom and in my drunken state i took the opportunity to rip out my tampon and put it under the bed we had sex and somehow i forgot about said tampon oh girl that's where

the maggots came from i snuck out in the early morning hours and while in my uber i remembered my used tampon nesting under nesting is hilarious n Nesting under his bed. He moved out of his house a few days later. So there is no way he didn't find it. Needless to say, we never spoke again. What would you do? Andrew Colin, if you went to the bathroom before boning a girl and you two days later,

we're moving out and you found a bloody tampon underneath your bed. I would have to frame it. Yeah. Yeah. As like the first, like the first like a like a new um sandwich shop a new deli that opened in the first customer's dollar bill yeah yeah like a i would frame it like a jersey like i'd make it a fat head i would blow it up and i'd put it on the next wall that i'm honestly i would be probably pretty disgusted, but I would almost respect it that she was so down.

But maybe a couple days later. Micah, I'm going to tell you something about yourself. What do you think? Number one, you have ADD. That's insane. You wouldn't remember to get that, but I also relate to forgetting things that are that important. I do too. And you also might have a drinking problem

but you probably have add is what is going on here and you know what i love you so much for writing this in i love all of these i love that they were all girls from what i can tell kelsey might have been a boy the the vomiter but i love these stories of just gross gross uh ladies i love it i love how gross women can be. Nothing to be ashamed about for getting a tampon and pulling it out and not like, I do that shit all the time where I'm just like, I'll just put it here and I'll remember. A piece of gum or something gross.

I'm just like, oh, I'll put it here until and I'll get it later. Wiping your boogers on something and being like, I'll clean that in the morning and then you don't clean it ever and then you sell the bed and you're like, oh, they found that. When I was 13, I would just wipe my cum on the carpet. Right, right. On my carpet and it got underneath my bed,

kind of, I would pull a lacy or not a lacy, that's maggots. Who was the? Micah. I'd pull a Micah and I would just wipe it underneath and then eventually we moved and there was a good two by two foot of just hard cum on my carpet. Oh my God. Yeah.

Well, that was the blankest thing you've ever done. And we're going to start a new one next week, I'm guessing. And we'll get your submissions for that. But if you have any more gross things to send in, keep them short, paragraph or less, send them into the NikkiGlazerPod at gmail.com. And make sure Lacey, you follow up and let us know why you were pulling maggots

out of a dick hole. Let's move into final thought of the day. I'm in a great mood right now. Man, you know we're going to a hotel, a really nice hotel to go hang in a cabana all day. Are you ready? I'm ready. I got my swimmies on.

I got my black t-shirt on that I could swim in. are you ready i'm ready i got my swimmies on i got my uh black t-shirt on that i could swim in and and are you ready to take your shirt off no i'm gonna take my shirt off because we're not around a bunch of 30 fucking hot whatever never mind take that out wait wait why are you gonna swim without your shirt yes of course i'm ready to take my shirt off. I'm ready to just spread my wings. And you know what I do, though? I'll go in the pool and I'll go to about four feet, five inches. So it's right around the shoulders. And I'll just sit there, you know, for a while.

So they won't see your whole torso. Yeah. I was in the hot tub the other day and no one likes to sit on the floor of a hot tub more than your boy. Yeah. to hide up the body yeah oh man i yeah i've let go of my um body insecurities in a big way like i really my biggest insecurity is my ass and like none of the none of bikini bottoms cover your full ass they carve into it now like they they're not doing a full thong but it's just like it's for girls with big butts but mine's just like like so flat. And like, I have, I just hate the way my cheek meets my leg.

I hate that part of my body. There's nothing I can do about it. Just like, is not good. There's not enough definition. I don't want to work hard enough to get it. And, um, and now I'm just like, I don't care. It's like, not that I'm doing, if your body isn't the way you want it to be, like, I know this is the simplest thing in the world, but it's not like you're choosing for your body to be that way. Like girls, like, and I'm speaking to girls and guys, but mainly girls. Like, I always felt like, God, I, I eat too much, blah, blah, blah. I don't work out. Like, this is my fault. And it's like like no it's not you're but you're not wrong for your body doing this thing if you could change it you would but you don't have enough time to do pilates and enough money to get a reformer or whatever the fuck it is so just the thing that

you hate about your body that you think is so different than everyone else's and like is holding you back from happiness when I focus on that part of my body which is my butt i just go i'm not wanting i didn't choose this i'm not a bad person i'm not like it's not like i'm murdering someone like why do i make it a moral issue of like i'm a bad person because my butt is this way like it's just the hand i was dealt or it was the butt i was dealt and no hands really want to grab onto it and no hands that were dealt want to grab it. But it's just like, it's not my fault.

I read a great stat the other day that people see you 20% hotter than you see yourself. No. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to make that up. I think you did. No,

I read that somewhere. Maybe Esther, Esther, SR, Esther Perel. Rituals. This has been a great pod. I really appreciate our fans.

We have some amazing best friends out there. Yeah. And thank you so much for writing in. I had this one guy write me because I also was afraid to take my shirt off at the pool. And I relate to you, bro. And if you ever want to do a standing 69 hit me up and i was like thanks jeff no our listeners are so nice and they uh are also dm me and i just like i love all the followers we've accrued over at nikki glazer pod on instagram i feel like that's

like the saturated that's like the that's a group of listeners that I can like depend on. I can post things on there that they will get. I'm not going to be judged. I'm not going to be objectified. I'm just like, I can just be more vulnerable to, with our listeners than I can with anyone else. And we do this every day.

I'm going to miss you the next three days, guys. I know we really do miss doing the show. Um, and it feels like too long of a weekend. I don't like a three day weekend when it comes to a podcast, but listen, this is the we literally put out four times more shows a week than any and it's still not enough,

but thank you for listening. I hope you all have a great freaking weekend and be kind to yourselves tip. Well, forgive yourselves for the thing you hate about your body. It's not your fault. It was just the way you were born. Just keep saying that. It's not my fault.

If I could snap my finger and make my arm not that flabby, I would. But I can't change it. So just accept. Acceptance. Acceptance and have all the swells. And all the swells. And we will see you on Monday. Okay.

Okay. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast.

And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party,

your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B.

As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships,

and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.