The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #120 Just Kiddin'

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

Nikki has a positive "canky" update, so she's doing much better brain soul and body. She helps Noa with an unresolved conflict and reflects about the difficulties of opposite sex friendships. Andrew is in for a surprise as Nikki finally shows him a video of a well endowed dog. This was brought on by a story Andrew told about texting a dog walker colleague a text meant for his friend. You Heard It Here First, we are all distraught from a horror house headline, we don't need killer dog robots and a Sports Moment that will make you wish your leg fell off! In our favorite segment, Fanthrax, we hear from a besties who spotted us in public, who are going to see the tour alone, those who felt comforted in the pandemic and one who talked about Nikki being her best friend while she was under anesthesia! Nikki's Final Thought will leave you stunned... just kiddin'! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Hello, it's Thursday. If this is the first time listening to the show, welcome. If it's not, guys, my kinks are on the mend. I was a little cranky and kanky earlier this week. I developed massive canker sores on my fucking tongue. That all started on Saturday.

I was dining at a restaurant I used to work at in college, Kealage. I don't know why I'm talking very St. Louis today, but I'm in the mood. Because you just talked to your mom, probably. Yeah, probably that. That. Even though she's from Cincinnati originally, but we definitely adopted a St. Louis kind of accent. Yeah, so I talked to my, it's almost like Fargo, you know?

Have you ever seen Fargo, you know? Yeah, yeah. So my mom, yeah, so I ate at um aladdin cafe in uh lawrence kansas and i took a bite of this like i think you know nightshades i might be allergic to them even though baba ghanoush is my favorite fucking food and it's made out of eggplant anywho got a my tongue erupted like just got big swelled on the sides. It like gets bumpy and swells when I have an allergic reaction to tomatoes and lectins. Lectins.

And, and then I bit the side of my mouth because it's swollen. And then boom, cankers. And then that, those cankers just bred more cankies. And man, I was just poor little Nikki I got that debacterol which was like this um treatment for it that my ortho hooked up for me so painful I did it yesterday and like the treatment's so painful and then afterwards for like five to ten minutes it's just stinging so bad that you just it's the worst pain I've ever felt right up there with migraines, like worst pain. And I'm just crying on the, like Kirsten was kind of like rubbing my back. I'm just

like feeling so sorry for myself. It almost felt good because it gave me a reason to cry, which I want to cry just about being stressed out. And sometimes I can't. So it was nice to just cry and be like, it hurts so bad and no one understands. But canker sores are so painful. And I can't do my two favorite things, which are talk and eat. But then I wrote my orthodontist again and I said, listen, debacterol is not working for me. And they're getting worse. And I sent her a photo that is alarming.

The mouth sores. Like I sent this photo to so many people. Like on this thing that I'm doing where cameras are following me. I was like, guys, look at my mouth. Be sad for me. Maybe cancel the shoot. And they were all like, Jesus Christ. I mean, they were just gigantic white blobs in my, under my tongue. And

if you have canker sores, it just like hurts looking at them if you've ever known that pain. Anyway, I wrote to my orthodontist again, sent her a picture and she was like, Jesus Christ. Okay, I'm going to prescribe you this mouthwash, this other mouthwash, and then another balm. And man, if you get canker sores, the mouthwash that really did it for me was an antacid like Mylanta. That's what she was saying. She was saying, you know, it's maybe try switching around Mylanta. And I was like, I had never heard of that. But she goes, I'm just going to give you a prescription for something like it. Boy, the soothing. It was almost instant where it was just like, oh my God, the answer. There was like some

steroid thing too that I took. So I mean, it was all just like, thank God for mama, modern medicine, M&Ms. I literally said that yesterday. I go, thank God for, thank God that my local pharmacy has something on their shelf that will take away this pain that radiates through my eardrum in my brain and is making me miserable and making me so not able to be fun, friendly, funny. And you don't even realize I was just like, wow, I just wasn't funny yesterday, I guess. I've just been not in a good mood. And I thought it was because of, you know, you know, I told you this. No, I was getting upset about relationships in my life. And it was all cranky, cranky. And now they're gone. And today I woke up and I'm so grateful for like, you know, they're

still there. There's still a little pain, but man, 95% better than it was. And like, God, what? Like, I have so much appreciation for like not being in chronic pain and if you are out there in chronic pain I feel for you so much so so much I like have all the swells for you my tongue had all the swells too this weekend and that's why I bit it but it's just there's there's nothing like getting well to make you appreciate how good life is and how grateful you are and how good you have it for about an hour or two. And then you go back to bitching about, you know, that my Instagram is being slow. My phone is like, God, the storage is full. I've heard so many people complain about their storage being full on their phones recently.

Like that's the number one complaint for people in my life. I'm like, our lives are pretty fucking good then. Noah, you said, you asked me before we started the podcast, how's your cankers? And then you said, how's your soul and mind? And I was like, oh, we should always do that. We should like, no, you said S- should uh like no you said soul and brain s soul body brain oh bs bsb backstreet boys body soul brain um so I love that let's check in on my body is like an an eight and a half today but I'm appreciating it like it's a 12. My soul is feeling very good and I'm at a 10 for my soul and my brain is probably like

an eight and a half. So I'm really firing. I'm firing off. I'm feeling good. What about you? What's your BSP today? Body feels, I would say maybe like a seven, eight. Soul, I'd say like a 4 because I realize I have some unresolved conflicts that I'm just avoiding and I just got to take care of it. What are you going to do? You're not going into detail. I'm not going to go into detail.

I have a call with my therapist today, which is good. I didn't have one last week because she was on vacation. Man, I needed it last week right yeah exactly um it is so nice to what with that you know you don't have to go into any detail whatsoever but what um did you thought this thing wasn't bothering you anymore or was it a new thing that you never even knew existed and And you're like, holy shit, I've got resentments here. Was it like that? Or is it something that you thought was resolved and now is bubbling up?

Where do you categorize it? So, okay, it's two things, but I'll talk about one. One of it has to do with my mom and us not speaking. And I just have to address it. I have to figure out a relationship that makes me feel comfortable and also like not guilty and also not like I'm doing something against my will you know so I'm just so it's so complex I'm so torn up about it I don't know what I want from that relationship um but I definitely don't want to feel what i feel right now like

not speaking to my mother and she's kind of like alone so it's just like uh it's really tearing me up to be honest i hear you that's got to be so hard because you're hurt the things you're hurt about you're probably not gonna get the um she's not, let me, I'm just going to guess that, you know, when I've been in these situations, you're hurt by someone. They're not going to apologize or be accountable for how they've hurt you in the way that you need to actually move on. Or maybe there's no way that they could, yet they're still alive. They're in pain or alone or whatever. You feel a guilt for not being there for them. But you also, like you said, you don't want to just do it because, but she's your mom, Noah.

She's blood. Like this whole thing of like, well, someone should have said that to her when she did blah, blah, blah. I'm paraphrasing or I'm projecting. But it's like, you know, I so often I think back on the therapist I had who was pretty terrible to me for a while. And she was the first person to kind of go, oh, you know, your parents, you thought they were perfect, which is great. And it helped you survive. And they are so good. I'm like, but they they they dropped the ball some places and maybe in obvious places, others not so obvious. And I remember she said that I had to mourn the loss of the mom that I wanted to have.

And that's not you know, if my mom watches this, I want her to know that doesn't mean that you're not a great mom. That means that I, you know, we all have this fairy tale, kind of, we imagine our perfect mom and no one's ever gonna be that. And so I have to mourn the loss of the mom that I wish would do this thing and ask

me about this thing and touch me in this way and I wish I had the dad that would have done this instead of this and you know and you just go there's like this um anger of like why didn't I get that mom and you almost have to kill her like you have to like you have to like um I remember feeling like my mom like died or something like this I had to kill off this person I was waiting for her to become and it was like this really I don't know if anyone's been through it before and I'm sure you have no you've done so much work but this kind of mourning process of like killing off the expectations and it doesn't make everything perfect overnight but like having no expectations but at the same time my my old therapist wanted me to like cut off things

with my mom if thing you know if I if she doesn't do this and change her ways I have to put a boundary and go then I don't want to be around you anymore and that that was her method that she wanted me to employ and I tried it for a little bit and I don't I just didn't want to do that and thank god like I just um my mom's not perfect I still get so aggravated with her and it's a different situation than yours but um and and with my dad as well and I believe if I ever have kids they'll deal with the same thing well they'll have to kill off the version of the mom who isn't me. You know, whoever I end up marrying is going to have to kill off the version of the woman that they thought that they were going to marry. And I love to do that, too, for the man.

Like, I'm sure there are things that Avi does that you're like, OK, I wish he didn't do that or I wish I could change that. That's why I'm very fascinated in my friends, husbands and, like, the people they've chosen to be with forever. Like, but he's not, like, what about when he does something that you're like, why did you do that? Like, how do you just not go, I can't be with someone like this. Like, I just want to cut it off and go bye. And especially because they're not, I just, I don't know what that is about me that wants to just do what you're probably doing to your mom right now and going like, well, fuck you. If you're not going to change and you don't want to address this, bye. But then there's all the things where you're like, I don't know, Noah. Do you just feel like there's still a relationship to glean from reaching out to your mom again?

Okay, well, that's the thing. The answer to that is no. I don't see having any kind of meaningful relationship with her. But at the same time, I do feel I'm like, there's a pandemic. The whole world seems to be crumbling apart. And she's on her own. She moved to a different state away from all of us. seems to be like crumbling apart and she's, she's on her own. Like she, she moved to a different state away from all of us.

And I, I just don't feel like a good person. I know. I get what you're saying, but, and like, do you ever think about looking at it from like a social workers perspective? If she was one of your,

like she was on your sheet of people you have to check in on, like just a job, not getting not just checking in to be like, are you well? Like, are you good? I want to talk to you. Tell me a story about your life, like checklist to make you feel like you're not alone and having no because I think I mean, I'm guessing you've let a lot of the expectations go, it sounds like. Like you're not expecting any kind of relationship. But there must be something holding you back from reaching out to her because there must be some kind of feeling that you get after it that makes you feel sad or bad.

Yeah, or angry. Yeah. I just don't want to be an angry person and um I think it's just like I have to learn how to manage that relationship how to set boundaries better and how to keep the door open as much as I want because she tends to just like barge in and I don't think it comes from a bad place I just I just can't take it and I have to learn how to control how much the door opens. And I think you're hitting it so like right. Like I want to tell you right now, first of all, you're a good person. And I know that me telling you that is not going to make you just like go, oh, okay.

Thanks, Nikki. I'm done feeling that way. But you really are, girl. Like you're anyone who knows you knows that you're there for your friends And anyone who is loving to you, you're loving to them. And even people who aren't loving, like just strangers, you're just like such a kind person. And if your mom showed you – if your mom deserved your kindness, you would give it to her. Even like – a little bit. Like it says a lot that you are wanting to put up a boundary there.

And like people make their own beds, you know, and it's there's something so sad about living alone and being alone. And they really don't have a choice, you know, with no free will. I do believe like your mom does not have a choice but to be alone. Like you go, oh, just make some friends friends like go out and find a hobby and like meet people it's just like they can't fucking do it and they just it's it's it's so sad it's just sad to think of someone that you know just being alone just loneliness is sad um but it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own but the anger thing dude I mean I had an anger explosion last night that I was just like

did not know how to like even deal with the anger that spouted out of me because I felt in a moment Andrew and I had like a really good talk last night right before we went to bed. But it was only spurred by the fact that I like – we were talking about some drama in our lives and I misunderstood something that he was saying. And I felt like he was kind of saying, I mean, the only reason I hang out – the only reason we hang out is because you're my boss like otherwise it's you know we we kind of but it's difficult having a best friend who is of the opposite sex who is you know an attractive person for both of us for both uh you know, and like the thing is, Brenna is so cool about it. Never has made me feel weird. There's no reason she should feel weird. Anyone who knows us knows that that's the way our relationship is.

But it seems to be, it's just not something that I think a lot of people can understand or handle. And I am really resentful of the fact that like, you know, I've been talking about this all week. Like, when you get married, you just have to, like, kiss your one life goodbye because your life becomes someone else. And it's not like you kiss it goodbye completely, but it's really hard to integrate the single life, which I'm not out, like, fucking people every night. But it's like I've always said when Andrew and I get partners that we're gonna hang out less right like that just happens because we're both like the reason we hang out so much is because we don't have we're we're pretty much filling that role without the sexual stuff but also we're friends so like if we were just best

guy friends, it wouldn't be of discussion if Brenna was cool with it or not, which she is. But it wouldn't even, we wouldn't go, wow, she's so cool about you being friends with me if I was a guy. It wouldn't be of note. And I was just kind of getting frustrated. And we watched Romy and Michelle's high school reunion

last night with Kirsten. And I was like with Kirsten and that movie is so sweet about two adult best friends who live together two women and you know in the end of the movie Michelle gets the guy and Romy is just like hanging out with her and I was like the whole movie Andrew kept saying that Kirsten was a Romy and I was a Michelle and I'm like secretly I was like I've always been I know I'm Romy. I'm the girl that doesn't get the guy, but who like has good ideas and is like, come on, Michelle, like, let's do this. And Michelle's just like, okay, let's do it. She's like fun and a little bit more adventurous.

And like, everyone likes her in bubbly. And then in the end, Michelle gets the guy. And then Romy's like, can I come along in your helicopter with you? Like Romy doesn't end up with a guy, which I kind of like about that. And they end up like opening a shop together. And I'm like of like about that. And they end up, like, opening a shop together. And I'm like, I want that. And I feel like, you know, when I'm pursuing my own relationship and I see, you know, we talk about Andrew moving out.

I'm totally fine with us moving out. I just don't know that we'll hang out as much. And there's a little bit of sadness to me about that. But also, I think where I got really upset was that, you know, he was saying like, guys shouldn't even have a big problem with us hanging out. Because, you know, Brenna's so cool about it. And I probably, a lot of my life revolves more around you. I spend more of my time doing what you want to do than you do what I want to do. So a guy that might be threatened by me in your life, if we're talking about you dating men and having conflict when you tell them that you live with your best friend or like you have a best guy friend that you're like work partners with, those guys shouldn't be as jealous as Brenna

has reason to be because I spend way more time with you doing what you want to do around your schedule than you do with me. And I go, yeah, because you work for me. Like, that would also be like, Brenna's so cool that I go to work. And I'm like, why does Brenna have to give, why do we even have to, and the thing is, this is not about, Brenna is cool and has never been an issue, but I just took it as like, oh, well, isn't that convenient for you when, you know, maybe and let's not even say Brenna, any girl in your life would ever get threatened by me. You can throw me under the bus and be like, well, I have to. She's my boss. Whereas when a guy gets jealous of you in my life, I go, I want him around because I like him.

You know, like I don't have the of, like, he's my boss. I got it. Sorry, babe. And it's, like, that offended me a little bit because I'm, like, I want to be able to be friends with anyone and have them go, no, she's my friend. I like hanging out with her as opposed to, I don't even want to, but, like, I got to make a a paycheck she pays me and I just felt like it was do you do you hear what I'm saying yeah and I just snapped I was like oh I'm so oh Brenna's so sweet to let you go to the to let you work for me and like I and you're so thank you so much for hanging out with me and that I like you wouldn't otherwise and now I know and I even said I go I know you fucking throw thank you so much for hanging out with me and that I like you wouldn't otherwise

and now I know and I even said I go I know you fucking throw me under the bus if she's a little bit annoyed that you have to go out of town for the weekend you're not like I want to you're just like well Nikki needs me there like it's like Nikki she's a lot like I know how we talk about our bosses and listen I can be a lot but I just I don't want I don't get to use men in my life as an excuse like that like I gotta put up with Andrew he's I don't need to make an excuse I can just be like I actually like him a lot and he makes me laugh that's why I want him around and if you have a problem with that well then bye you know I have to kind of like I have to say the harder thing which is I like someone aside from the fact that they pay me or something.

And, you know, that's just the nature of our relationship. And so it just made me feel like, fuck, I doubt he would hang out with me if I didn't give him an opportunity. But I just know that's not true. That's not true. And that's why we kept talking and then we got to a place where I was like, listen, I know you didn't mean to say that, but it just felt like I'm the old like ball and chain that you can just go, God, I don't even – Brenna, I don't want to be with her. I just have to. And it's like sometimes you do want to hang out with me and that's okay too. You don't need to make it like I – I don't want to.

Like you should be able to just go get lunch with me and not because I'm your boss, but because you want to. And I feel like, you know, men and women can't really be friends because, you know, if we want to have relationships outside of that, it's just too threatening. And this is not talking about anyone in our immediate lives. I'm just like kind of examining, you know. I just feel like marriages and relationships feel like a trap and feel like ownership, and I don't want to be owned, and I don't want to feel like I have to, you know. Well, I have to hang out with Andrew because he has this thing I need to pick.

He's bringing this thing that I have to get from. It's like can't we just be like, I like this person and it doesn't mean, I don't know. But I said to Andrew, I go, would you be okay with Brenna having a best friend that's a guy that makes her laugh harder than, like, that makes her laugh the hardest she's ever laughed? Would you be okay with that? And he was like, uh. And I go right so I'm kind of it's not a good it's not a great position to be in so I gotta dump him but let's get him in here so I can talk to him just kidding and that brings us to just kidding which we'll talk about in a second Andrew

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever.

We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they pave the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture.

This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model. Lingerie, topless.

I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,

and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Glovey. Hey, what's going on? Sweet look. Did you like that text i just sent you

yeah yeah well at first i didn't get the it's funny when you send the video god you didn't get the video at first so you were just freaking out not freaking out but i was just like did you get my text yeah so i texted him last night after our good i just told them about our talk oh okay yeah um and i said that after the after we talked uh i didn't say this but i just was like feeling so good i was just like oh that was the best talk like we resolved this like really tense moment where i got really angry like really angry more angry than i've been in a really long time because i felt like you were saying you only hang out with me because i pay you no that's how i and i misinterpret. I mean, if it was more money.

No, that's, yeah. I think it got lost in my mouthlation. Yeah. It's funny. Like, it would probably be, with my lisp, it's probably better I just text you it. If you did, like, the voice speak, it would just be snake emojis and like water splashes.

And your phone – you'd have to put your phone in rice. No, but I like – That's a neat slap. We had a good talk. And so I – we rarely express like – I was just feeling like a lot of love for you as my friend i was just like the same way i say to my girlfriends all the time like god i love you like i was just like i love you thank you so much for that i forget what i said i said before i went to bed and he didn't write back because he it didn't even deliver i wasn't like what the fuck and then this morning

you wrote me back and a really nice thing but uh i was driving when i got your text so i couldn't write back um because i was already texting someone else, and I was reading a book as I was on the highway. Yeah, and you were in the backseat. And then I also saw my mom this morning, and she kept saying her classic, just kidding. My mom does this thing, Noah,

where she will say something really offensive. She'll be like, Nikki, that skirt is too short on you. Just kidding. Or she'll be like. I love the Taliban. Just kidding. And she just cuts it with a JK.

Just kidding. And so today I got her to say a just kidding. And I filmed it. And I didn't even film it knowing that I was going to use it. But I wrote back Andrew after he wrote me back. So he wrote me back in the morning after I'd sent it. We had just gone to bed and I sent the text. So it's like I figured he was going to be still up.

But he didn't get it until this morning and he wrote back. And I just wrote back, to be honest, I was really upset about the delay and you getting back to me. And then I let it sit. And then like two seconds later I sent this. Hold on. Let me just play my mom. Wait, do you have it. And then I let it sit, and then two seconds later I sent this. Hold on, let me just play my mom. Wait, do you have it, Noah?

I got it, here we go. I wish you posted it on Instagram because you could just repeat it over and over. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. So then I sent Andrew. It should be a doll that you pull the string.

Just kidding. Julie Glazer doll. Should we make it? If anyone makes dolls out there that can talk. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Or make us all dolls.

That'd be great. But I sent that as, because I hate pranks. And you know that I hate any kind of like, you think this for a second. I wanted to instill. I sent them together. But the video didn't arrive. Yeah. It's always funny when a video's delayed,

when you're trying to set up the punchline of the joke, and you're just like, fuck. And then you can't delete. Or you send a picture, and then you write a caption for it, and it sends, and you want the picture to go after it, and you're like, fuck, well, fuck, cancel, because it just needs to be. That happened to me when I was dog walking.

I think I told you the story, but Ari sent a picture of his dad in boxers. And I was like, and I zoomed in. I go, nice dad's dick. And then I sent it to a dog owner instead of back to the group chat. Nice dad's dick. Just a zoom in of a dad's dick in boxers. And so I tried to like un i was like uh unsend unsend because i could see it's still working because i was in a basement for a comedy show

so i was like oh i have time and then i didn't say anything you know like i didn't you can't write to that hey sorry about the dad's dick hey i'm on a chat with my friends and he sent a picture of his dad's dick and nothing sounds good there's no explanation i mean even even knowing you guys i'm a little confounded at it so that was on the weekend and so then i went in on monday to walk the dogs and i could tell he wouldn't like look me in the eye like i felt like a weird vibe from him that i never felt before and i was like hey but you didn't write anything? I didn't write anything. I just let it sit because I didn't know. Because I thought I might have deleted it before it got there.

Oh, gotcha. I thought, maybe, because it was still. Is there any way to stop a text from sending mid-send? I don't know. John Gruden would like that. For an email. I don't know. I don't know who that is.

He's the one that just got fired for writing misogynistic and homophobic. He was a football coach. Oh, I don't know. They went through his private emails. Is this our sports moment? Can we get it over with? No, this is emails. They went through his private emails?

This is more of an email thing. Okay, gotcha. Oh, gotcha. So anyway, so I end up going to the guy. I go, hey, man, did you get a text from me over the weekend? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I got it. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I was like yeah yeah i got it oh my god yeah and i was like uh yeah it was a friend thing and the dad like it was his dad i would just wait listen i know this

is insane but i my friend and like i feel like guys yeah yeah he was he's a cool guy he got he got it like but it definitely could have gone very awry. Noah, do you have the video that one of our listeners sent of their dog's penis? Did I ever send you that? Yes, you did. Do you have it? Because I really want to show Andrew. I cannot believe I've forgotten. I've sat on this for so long.

You've sat on a dog's dick? I couldn't. It would seriously come up through my throat. What kind of dog is it? I don't. It would seriously come up through my throat. What kind of dog is it? I don't. I mean, some dogs have hogs. Wait, what's the biggest dick you can think of a dog having? Just give me what you think you believe.

Because I got to say, when this girl wrote in and said my, because I was talking about Luigi's penis being too big. I mean, they're usually thin for a dog. If it's a thick, thick cock, it's probably like a Rottweiler. I have never seen anything like this. Oh, my God. I'm excited. Well, when Noah finds it, we'll watch it.

But until then, stay tuned for this dog dick because it's going to blow your mind. Literally. But, yeah, I was really – we got through such a good talk last night. That was like a really perfect friend conflict. I just feel like we're at a really good place right now. Yeah. And I don't, you know, whatever like, like whatever you're doing like towards me like be put like nice like not like friendship but i have the dog's dick do you want to see yeah please do because

that was getting too sincere and i was getting really um i felt like someone put a dog's dick in my mouth i was like you know a dog okay no you going to put it up on the screen? Yes, if this thing allows me to. I mean, this is like Bigfoot footage. Like, I can't even. Did the dog sign a consent? I'm feeling a little nervous. I know. I asked the girl if we could show it, and she said yes.

So this is totally consensual. The carpet that it was dragging on did not consent to be penetrated this way. What was the carpet that it was dragging on did not consent to have to be penetrated this way. What was the carpet wearing? Hold on. Where is this dick? I'm so like, oh my God, it's not downloading.

It's not going to let me show it. It's that big? Oh, it won't let you show it. No, if you text it to me, I can just hand it to him. Okay. And I don't think it's going to fit. I'm going to have to go get my iPad.

It is so big, Andrew. Should we put it on the big screen i mean we will later we'll transfer it on there but um yeah i mean too many gigabytes it was when this girl sent it to me i just go okay your dog has a big dick let me just watch this video and i was well i tell you all the time rottweilers have sex butt to butt. They start doggy style, and then the male Rottweiler will turn around and bang her through his own legs backwards, because then he gets more, I guess... They do the reverse doggy? They do your style?

Yeah, but they're both doggy. Butt to butt? Butt to butt. That is so weird. I know, but that's how thick and long their cocks are. Oh, my God. Wait, do they put it in doggie style and then they step over their own and they twist it around? Oh, yeah.

I guess that's how it would have to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Noah sent it to me. Oh, my God. I mean, this is unbelievable. I'm like, I can't wait for you, your reaction.

Okay. Okay. You have a glove on, by the way. Yeah, golf glove. Golfing glove. Okay, let's see this. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Andrew, describe what you're seeing. It's purple. It's a monster. How big is it? It's you're seeing. It's purple. It's a monster. How big is it? It's an absolute monster. It's probably no joke. I mean, the dog isn't a huge dog. No.

I'm going with, like, about a seven-inch thick hog. And then he blows himself at the end, which is cool. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. What? Yeah, he sucks his own cock. I mean, how couldn't you? You're right there.

I mean, it's already in his mouth pretty much. Yeah, it looks like an old kind of sheepdog. Dude, he's walking like he just got off a horse. I mean, maybe he's a quarter horse. I mean, that is... I would be embarrassed to walk that dog around. Yeah. I'd be embarrassed to be her husband.

I couldn't fucking live with that dog in the house i'd have to neuter everything i'd neuter his penis and leave the balls i'll tell you that i mean every morning i wake up and be like are you fucking serious so we're back to a good place yes yes we were in a good place last night it was all good yeah all gravy it was all gravy i was just yeah it's just i'm i'm really just struggling with just having kirsten come back and hang out so much i love it so much and i'm just get so sad when she leaves and i blame like monogamy for it oh yeah yeah like i just blame like blame that she's married i blame the only friends i hang out with are single girls. Like once my friends get in relationships and like get married,

it's just like, I know I've brought this up all this week, but it just, why does it have to be that? Why can't we all live? If you, if you got a very serious relationship, you might end up doing the same shit.

I want to stay friends with everyone. That's why I won't get in a relationship because I don't want, I don't like that when it starts to be like, no, now it's just us and we're creating our own new thing. Like I want to take all of our friends with us. I can't,

I don't want to say goodbye to this life. And I, but I don't have to. That's the thing I'm just like, oh, I have a satisfying sex life. We were even talking about, you know, if I was in a long-distance relationship

or if I was with someone and we couldn't be together all the time because of my schedule or their schedule, how many times I would need to see that person a month for intercourse. Honestly, twice a week on Av would be great to have sexual intercourse and hang out with that person.

I don't need more than that. I think I could sustain a relationship where we see each other two days a week and then some days you know obviously have weeks where we're together but i generally think that's a good and i don't mind if they hooked up a little bit with that with we'll apply that to your friendships with kirsten you get three solid amazing friendship days days. You almost get her 100% exclusively. Yeah. Rather than a little bit here and there if you lived in the same town. Right. You might not see, you know, when we live in New York or whatever, we see.

I see you friends all the time. No, I was, dude. I was. If you went to the Olive Tree, I guess. No, I was meeting up with Sarah Lena and Elna and Anya every night. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. No, I was meeting up with Sarah Lena and Elna and Anya every night. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you saw your friends more.

To Andrew's point, Esther Perel talks about this, and you can't have your partner be your everything, your emotional support, your golf partner. And that's what I think people do. Yeah, exactly. So imagine how much richer your partnership with whoever you choose to be in a sexual relationship with and all that, how much richer it would be if you did have friends who fulfilled the things that your partner couldn't really fulfill. Yeah. And to go back to your point, Noah, of

kind of, or the thing we were talking about before about like mourning the loss of the moms we wanted or the partners we wanted. And like, yes, it would be amazing to have a partner who just checks every fucking box. And so you don't need anyone else. It just doesn't exist. And so, you know, there's going to be, I might end up with someone who isn't funny, let's say, but like, okay, I have funny friends. it seems absurd that i would be with someone who isn't funny would want a romantic relationship with someone who isn't funny but i also have friends who aren't funny that give me other things that i don't i don't expect them to be funny you know or you know there's some things that i think are just deal breakers like i need a guy who

fucking you know goes down on me but you can have like your friends for that. In a funny way. I mean, yeah. Well, think about like, what's her name? Alana Glazer. Yes. Like she married like a scientist who she like met on a train who like is the antithesis of what you would think of.

Yeah, I got to take more trains. Sounds like. These planes ain't getting me. No, these planes. No. You would think like, planes ain't getting me now these planes no you would think like i don't know i mean i think like yeah you find someone that they don't have to fulfill everything i just think at the end of the day that for me i just want someone that can get along with everyone

like that's the number one for anything easy going easy going not someone that you have to worry about when you bring them to something yes you know what i'm i can offer that too like i love when i've been in relationships and i've been brought into like a kind of high stress i don't know anyone's situation where they know everyone and they say to me afterwards and i've gotten this compliment a couple times i never had to worry about you being like oh i gotta go make sure she's okay and not like feeling alone. Even if I am feeling alone, I can just sit there alone. I'm okay. Like, I love that I can offer people that, that I'm self-assured enough. And I wasn't always like that. I would have been like, why are you leaving me? Like, you didn't talk to me at all. It's like, now I can really be secure enough in those settings and give that gift to someone who someone who you know has to do a lot of heavy lifting around family and friends or whatever and also even if i am feeling left out

they know that i'm not going to be like pouty later yes and be like because i've done that before too of just being like yeah it was fun it's fine and just like well yeah and and they they might leave you alone and they know you're okay but they know that you're gonna have resentment about it like i can truly now let go of that, I think, and realize going into a situation, this isn't the Nicky show. Like you can have that when you get home. He's not going to be doting on you all the time. If you want that, you're asking for a pushover,

and you're not attracted to men that are like that. So I think that that's kind of something i've had to and i think like with that it depends on like how obviously with coven now but like there's nothing worse than being worried about someone else oh i like a party yeah when you bring someone and you're like having to like just make sure that they're not feeling awkward or and i listen but that's but saying that i also want to say no, if you ever go to something with me, like an event where you feel awkward and I go, no, I got you. I like that.

But like a partner that you're just like, you can do this. It's not as big of a deal as you're making it. I'm not disrespecting you by leaving you over there. I want you to come along. But if you want to go over there, I'm going to leave you there and know that you're going to be okay. I'm going to be by the shrimp cocktail party over there eating eating some shrimp you go hang out with people i'll be fine i'll be with the shrimp but i also love someone who is willing to admit that they're scared going into a social situation and is going to say hey listen this is what i need from you and i'll go

oh my god thank you for like this is what i can give you let's compromise yes there's a difference between here are my fears and i don't want to go because dude i fucking hate talking to people and i hate this and i hate just using the word hate all the time as opposed to like oh no i'm just scared like there's a difference between those two things and you know i mean look i get it some social interactions some social parties are the fucking worse and you don't know anyone there and you feel like you're out in left field so you want to feel attended to by your significant other because you're so uncomfortable but like there's a way to just be like flow let's all just flow but then it's interesting because then on the other end of that is like yeah let's just fucking flow let's fucking eat acid at the party do whatever and it's like whoa

that's too much flow yeah you drank they drink a little too much they get to be they're they're taking chances on the dance floor that you're like i don't think that you'll want to see the still photo of that later on yeah there's there's – you just want someone – and I think this comes back to the best relationships are ones where each individual would be fine without the other person. You're not dependent in any way. Like that's what my old abusive therapist used to say, and I really do believe that was the one nugget I got from her aside from the fact that I'm not a beauty and that's okay is that the best relationship is one that you can live without with or without and you'll be fine like the way Cher describes men she's like I think they're a luxury they're not a necessity I my life is good I might get a nice Bentley but I don't need a Bentley to get around like i feel for the first time ever that um and that's why

share dated david gethin for 18 months in the fucking 70s david gethin was gay yeah 18 months he was in a love affair with chair they were the most in love he's ever been they were deeply in love lived together it came out of nowhere he the first woman he'd ever been attracted to and um and i just i'm like oh that's why share was just like this guy actually adds to my life come along i don't even care if you're gay before like i just want you around and until you until i fall in love with um who did she fall in love with the guy that died uh that that what are those brothers the not doobie brothers the alan brothers the uh allen parson

are the some one of those brother yeah she fell in love with one of those greg allman allman she fell in love with greg allman and kicked uh old geffen to the curb but i just like that because ever since i heard her she said so many great things of like mom i am like i just want you to marry a rich man mom i am a rich man and like the men are a luxury that she goes, I love men. They're like dessert. I love dessert. Do I have it? Do I need dessert?

No, but it's nice to have sometimes like, and that's not insulting men of like, you're not shit. We don't need you. It's like, no, you like, you would make my life better. But if I don't have you, I can still be okay. Yeah. It's like women for me are, I can still be okay. Yeah. It's like women for me are just a hole in the wall. Yes.

With hair. In the wall. Although I do sometimes when I'm in a physical relationship, I miss masturbating. I miss like having a little quiet orgasm by myself in bed, like laying in a sarcophagus. But why can't you have that in a relationship? Oh, because if you live with someone? Because I'll have to suck a dick. Like I have to like service someone,

which I like doing as well. But sometimes I just want to service myself. When you have like two days off from that person, do you feel like, okay, it's time to masturbate? Or you're like, okay, I'm kind of tired now. I don't even feel sexual. No, sometimes I just, yeah, sometimes I'm like, oh no, I just came a couple times the other day, so don't need to but there are sometimes where i'm like i just i want to see

what kink.com has out like they put out some new videos probably and they've been making more videos steering towards my preferences because i think they're learning that you know gangbangs should be supportive well they see your poshmark purchases yeah Yeah, they know what's up. And they connect the dots. Oh, God. I have a couple bondage pieces saved on there. Okay, let's get to the news. The news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first.

Happy Thursday, folks. It is Thursday. So we all know what that means. It is Thursday. Oof. Hope you're having all the swells out there. Nikki is. I just got a canker sore burn in my ear.

It's like coming up through my ear. It's fine. I'm being a little bit of a baby. No, you're not. Yeah, you are. I'm a little shaky baby. What do you want in your bottle? It's called the sick roll in psychology.

Remember last night when you told, we confirmed that we would both be really good psychologists, and then you said that there was math involved? Yeah. I don't know what kind of math, but I remember – We both got – we're out. I remember I took one psychology class in college that I cheated every time on. Yeah.

And I think I actually was given the final – I think I said my grandma died again, and she ate, like, an older new banana or something, and then, like, she had ham drip. And then, like, you know. But they gave me. I got to take the test by myself. And I snuck in notes. And I still failed the test with the information in front of me. I think the numbers that you saw that the math was just the time of the class that you should have showed up for.

I didn't know what time it was. Okay, a house where... Oh, have all those swells. Okay, a house when teen violently murdered... Oh, a house where teen violently murdered his mom and sisters features chilling Halloween display 20 years after the killings.

Okay, well, that's awful. Yeah, so John Sisling... 20 years ago. beat his mother and teen sister with a baseball bat oh god i guess it's the sports moment and stabbed them that's so fucking funny fuck dude okay and stabbed him with a kitchen knife before he plunged a blade into his distraught six-year-old sister's throat. Okay, I mean... That's a tough sentence. We don't need to hear distraught. I'm guessing she was distraught.

His calm and placid six-year-old sister who just watched her mother get beaten with a bat. I mean, this... Specifics make things so much worse. And they don't know what she was at the time. They don't know if she was distraught they're

adding things yeah this is before baby cam and like tiktok where she filmed it yeah um there are three gravestones around so nowadays so the people that live there now are paying homage to the murders by decorating it for halloween it was their family's home they've lived in it they rented to this family where the killings happened. So it was like an air... It was theirs to begin with. Yeah. So it was like a weird... That doesn't make it better.

I mean, I think the sad thing here is that... Now this is... So now they have three gravestones. It's surrounded by police tape. There's evidence marker of a baseball bat on the porch, which is a little much. No! The front door has silhouettes on the glass would help us written

in dripping red paint no handprints on the front windows the woman who grew up now okay so this is the thing i read the article what is the thing because this is not this house is well known for these killings right and so constantly they live in the house now. Constantly, people will drive by and yell, oh, John killed the girl, whatever. So this woman that owns it is like, I'm aware what happened here. Home run. Yeah.

Grand slam. It was a triple because three died. But baseball. She wants to go, I'm aware what happened here. We know what happened here. She leaned into it to show like, we're okay with it. I think the fact that a child died makes it like not okay.

And I hate to be that person that's like, well, it's fine if it's adult, like having these caveats of like cancel culture or whatever. I don't, I just think it's, it's so fucking tragic, especially since the six year old was distraught. I didn't know that the six-year-old was distraught.

I didn't know that until now. Yeah, she was distraught. No, I mean, it just is tacky and insensitive. What did you think of... This kind of reminds me of the backlash that Kim Kardashian is getting for the OJ joke. Oh. Because she said, I can take a stab at it.

And she said, he was the first black man I met. Let me, a stab in the dark. Something, what other jokes she made? Something about him being distraught. No, I don't think he was. He was. He was. He was.

He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was.

He was. If anyone. Yeah. Anything. He was. Strut. He was a strut man. No, I think.

Well, I think. I don't know. Your glove that you're wearing looks shittier than the Bruno Mali gloves found at the crime scene. Look, it does fit, so I can't acquit. I want to quit podcasting with you. Wait a second. I really think that there is something about murders where you're just like, God, I just think when there are children involved,

we don't need to like the baseball bat. It's just, it's too much. It's so sad. And it makes it almost like- But everyone else can joke about it. But then if you're close to it, you can't joke. You know what I mean? There's been thousands of OJ jokes.

But because she knew- Oh no, the OJ jokes, it's like, listen, if I ever get stabbed, if I ever die tragically and the murder is just like so horrible, so brutal, so sad, I'm distraught, I'm sick. I'm telling you, I'm okay with jokes being made about it because that's how you deal with pain. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

But if you're close to it, I guess that's more of a problem. But a neck wound, laceration, you can't – a joke ain't going to solve that kind of pain. But yes, that is how people – I hope people make jokes about whatever kind of befalls me in the end. You know, I remember Sarah Silverman did a joke at one of the roasts about jennifer love hewitt and she said that you know jennifer love hewitt you're jennifer love hewitt is here oh hi doll it's people call you a a young audrey hepburn do you is that weird to you that uh knowing you're gonna die of colon cancer because audrey hepburn died of colon cancer oh gotcha and i remember that getting a lot of um oh it's just like it she didn't kill her she's just acknowledging she died but the word cancer

people are like my great uncle died of cancer. When Sarah says it, cancer. It sounds cute. It is really fun to talk like her because it's like, it just makes things like just more cute and fun. Silly and fun. My dad died of cancer

too. Yeah. So, anyway. I just think it's interesting that like with kim kim was close to it so that's her joke to make i think her dad died of cancer or oh yeah cancer and then cancer and then cancer this woman it's her house she should be able to make the joke like if anyone can make the joke she should be able to make the joke. Like if anyone can make the joke, she should be able to make the joke. But I also think like,

it's interesting when like people put up scary decorations, but when there's a true story behind it, it adds so much more weight. Would you rather someone stab you or beat you with a baseball bat to kill you? I just wanted you to like pick your weapon. I've been stabbed. Okay. And so you know what that feels like

i don't yet though so i want to just see what it would feel like to stab you depends where you're it all depends on where you're stabbed and where thanks noah where the baseball wait what did you say wait okay so let me just say let me offer you some choices okay okay thanks uh so let's say you have to be put to death, right? Yeah. Gallows. What's the gallows again? Head chopped off? No.

Keep guessing. Vincent Gallo. Hung? He stabs you. No. Yes, hung. Okay. So hung.

Firing squad. Okay. Lethal injection Okay So we're going by like Or Electric chair Let's throw it in But you're not gonna choose that one

Who the fuck's gonna choose that Or Getting hit by a Jumping off a building Okay Like a tall building Baseball bat Or a semi truck running you over at like 60 miles an hour.

Baseball bat? I don't think no one's going to pick baseball bat in this. I mean, those would be far more injurious. I think it's pretty easy there. Lethal injection. Really? Yeah. I've heard lethal injection's really painful.

Oh. I don't think it's like that humane. I would probably go firing range for you. Oh, for me? No, I would do firing range for myself too. But here's the thing. It depends where they're shooting you. That's all like...

Well, I mean, I would say please aim for my head. I give the firing range... This is very grim. The reason why I wouldn't please aim for my head. I get the firing range. This is very grim. The reason why I wouldn't do it for you. Thanks. Is because I wouldn't know that I. I'm twitchy and I might miss it and hit my jaw. No, I just, if I did it with like six other guys,

I'd be upset that I don't know if I'm the one that killed you. That's why they do it, you know? So they don't know who did it. You want to know, you want to know. I want to know I gave you that last shot yeah um all right let's get to the next story halloween that's a good halloween section that was a really good halloween segment sorry for the gruesome nature of it but yeah if you're triggered go to that and honestly i just have one thing to say just kidding can we send that to Noah and have her put it? I did. I did. Black Mirror's killer robot dog grows huge penis.

No. That's just funny to think of a robot dog with a giant cock. Became a reality terrifying four-legged robot dog with a sniper rifle. I never saw the Black Mirror episode they're referencing, but okay. On its back was unveiled at a trade show. Unveiled. Yeah. Unveiled. I wish lambs would be unveiled. referencing but okay on its back was unveiled at a trade show unveiled yeah unveiled i wish

lambs would be unveiled um okay so there was a why are people making i don't murderous robots when we are so close to the robots being like just turning their heads being like i am smarter than you now yeah but you have a rumba civilian my rumba would never hurt me well then they're gonna say the robot dog would never hurt you i mean if you put i'm not striking strapping a rifle to my rumba's back maybe we should and sell it that'd be pretty bad god if one day my rumba was just like and then it just slowly was like yeah nicky time to die and it just like started like vacuuming over my feet and i'd be like room but this is fucking ridiculous what are you even doing get back to that dust

getting rid of bunion trying to eradicate bunion it would be funny if we just and then it just like rolls over me and i get sucked into it and like it just climbs over that would be like a horror movie where Roomba just is like, and I'm like, no! And it's like my leg and it's just crawling up my leg and then it just makes me all bloodied so then I bleed out. And then it cleans it up. Yeah, and then it goes like, it's a perfect crime.

Now cleaning. Roomba. And then Luigi high-fives it. Hey, look. This is a little dark no i'm just okay uh no what's the next news wait but i love that they call this thing a dog to like oh yeah it's kind of like sarah silverman saying cancer it's like it's just a dog it's just a murderous little dog puppy dog. It's just a robot that's going to destroy us all, but it looks so cute. It's a little dog. Yeah, so we're probably going to definitely die by that. I mean, we're going to blame these nerds for hooking guns up to these robots.

Like those robots that look like the NFL one. Yeah. That's like, can we stop? They always have a bunch of nerves. Boston Dynamics. I used to drive by it all the time where I worked in Boston. Yeah, Boston Dynamics. Taunton, Massachusetts.

I would drive by it and you're like, God, there's nothing good going on up in that road. In Boston? Well, yeah. Okay, you got to take a break. We'll be right back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. We'll be right back. early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements,

some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA.

These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help,

I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. or wherever you get your podcasts. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's time. You know what time it is. Sports. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. Woo-wee, boy. I love Thursdays. Yeah, man. This is the one.

And you put on your little sport glove for this one and your golf hat. I got it all, boy. Getting ready for my golf trip. I feel like if I wear it more, I'll beat my brothers. Okay. A fan caught a ball in her friend's prosthetic leg during a White Sox game. So they were waving this girl's leg at the outfielder. With a mitt at the end?

No, just the hole of the prosthetic leg. Oh, and it landed in the hole. And they caught it in the hole. No way. Yeah. I mean, it's thicker than you think. It's a thigh thickness. Oh, okay, so the top of it, like the hole of the top.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah, it does look like one of those scoops, those like lacrosse kind of netted. Oh, my God, Yeah, it does look like one of those scoops, those like lacrosse kind of netted. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. I love this. I love. I love a prosthetic leg being used as a prop and just like owning it.

Oh. Yeah, it's fun. I wish I, if I lost my legs, I pray to God that I could have a sense of humor about it. I know. I saw this one, this TikTok, where this guy gets on the leg machine at a gym, and he has no legs. And he's like, like he forgot today that he had no legs.

That's so funny. And it's just like, oh my, fuck yeah, own that shit. There's just something so hot about a guy with one leg that's like in shape. No offense to people that are like being – I would think that most people – but there's a really fit guy that has – you think it's lost in the war or he blew it off cleaning his gun or whatever. A robot dog bit it.

Yeah, Roomba attack. That one guy, that one dog's dick hit it. It's so hot for some – i love a guy with a limp i got up and i'm not trying to like sexualize or um what's it called fetishize that because i know that i once had a friend that was really into women with stumps and like prosthetics like actively was horned up for it and so why not that's great yeah but i don't when does a fetish why is a fetish bad i'll tell you i would not i would like to i would definitely um think about being with someone younger but if they had a milf fetish where they're like i like that you're older like

that's the reason they wanted to be with me it would feel icky and i think that a lot of prosthetic eyelashes that's true if that was why then – because if they liked my little stumpy lashes – You could catch a baseball with those. No, I don't have fake ones on right now, by the way. Don't you dare blame me for that. I wear them on my theater shows. I wear fake ones. But I will say that I think I can't speak for the Asian women, but I do hear that Asian women it sucks for them because

sometimes they're fetishized when they think it's just a guy wanting to go out with them but it's really about it just makes it not about you like when I got upset last night it was because I thought you were saying you only hang out with me because I'm your boss and I was like that makes me feel that is a

facet of our relationship and that you do like about me probably and that I give you opportunity and believe inet of our relationship and that you do like about me probably. But in that I give you opportunity and believe in you and all the things that come with being your employer. But also that's it. Like that's what I would feel if it was like if someone had a male fetish. My thing is that if you're a prosthetic, if you have a prosthetic leg, right, a lot of people are instantly ruling you out because of that so if there's a small percentage of people that are like really turned on by it if i had a prosthetic i'd be like fuck yeah i will say if men were into bunions i would if you only like me for my bunions so do i i only like that's

what i'm saying my point being is like a lot of people rule you out probably after they saw your feet yeah they probably would yeah i went to a foot fetish party for Not Safe, and the guy was just like, ugh, you've never seen that clip? He just goes, no, that's not for me. And it was actually offensive. And then one guy was massaging my feet, and he said he was getting excited. Wait, can we go through what happens at a foot fetish party? You go in, and they go, take off your shoes.

Yeah, you go in, and there's women hired to either be like kind of models foot models that walk around and they'll walk on guys feet they'll like you know a guy will lay on the ground and a woman will just put her feet on the man and they'll suck their feet and they get tipped and things okay they're and then they're um it's mostly men paying to be there and women being paid probably by so you take your shoes off and the guy goes he was just like yikes okay and i go can we get this girl some prosthetics and then i put i put my feet together it was a really funny clip i put my toes together and did this yeah like this like i was concocting an evil plan like making a potion yeah because i can i'm pretty ambit i'm pretty uh dexterous with my toes.

Yeah, so. But yeah, anyone that owns that shit, that's awesome. I like that it was the girl's friends, too. The girl was just like, guys, stop it. They were bullying her and were like, that's fucking cool, man. You have to give me back my leg. Yeah. Like my friend who used to pee her pants when she laughed,

that was like a true disability she had. Every time she she laughed too hard she would piss her pants all full bladder not just a little squirt full bladder and we used to like we used to just surround her when we thought it was happening and try to get her mean kirsten would fight each other to be like no i was the one that made her pee almost like a firing range being like no it was me it was mine there's something about a full bladder that just makes it so much sadder because it takes that's a 30 second like dude she didn't have that waiting she didn't have any power to stop her um pee stream because one time i was peeing uh she was over my house and i went in the bathroom and was peeing we were talking and i couldn't hear her so i stopped my stream to be like what'd you say and she goes did you just what did you just stopped

and started again and i go yeah everyone can do that and she's like i can't once it starts it all goes out and i was like oh um okay has she ever controlled it or no no and when those commercials came out that were like gotta go gotta go gotta go right now gotta go gotta go i was like get on that stuff talk to your doctor about laracel or whatever the fuck it was probably like makes your fucking ears fall off but then you can stop your piss yeah phanther i mean she was born prematurely so she also has this thing on her eye that her doctor said that one day i start laughing because it's so funny the way the doctor described it but

they said that like one day her eye will she'll just she'll go blind in in one of her eyes and that the curtain will close it'll be like and we just always pictured like two little guys on the side of her eyes being like and it's time to like the end of the show and then like people come out and bow and flowers like we would and one time we were swimming in the pool and she was like, guys, the curtain's closing. The curtain's closing. And we were like, encore, encore. But it hasn't closed yet. So she's okay for now. There's got to be something you can do about that.

Some kind of stitches to put on your eyelid. A cool eye patch. She'll be fine. That's very cool. Yeah. No, she'll deal. But it is sad. I mean, blindness, I can't think of anything.

Honestly, I really would rather lose my ability to walk than to be to go blind i know but i've never heard someone go blind just because their eyelids don't work no it's not their eyelids dude it was like it was just a it's like macular degeneration but it would happen like i thought when you were talking about curtains like there were two little guys pulling the eyelids together like two little curtains that is insane. That is insane that you thought that that might be a thing. That your eyelids would just permanently close and they could never pry them apart. I picture two little guys going, pulling.

They would just surgically remove your eyelid if it refused to open up like a stingy clam. I took it too literal. Oh my God. We used to call this one guy Quam Eyes because he kind of talked like this. He talked with his mouth like this. Just like because he wanted to. And we used to call him Quam Eyes because his eyes, a lot of people do have clam eyes. I'm jealous of them because their eyes meet the same up as down. Do you know like they come together in the middle instead of mine go the top comes down but quam eye people because he had that like this we called him quam eyes

and uh his eyes were like under dusty and they were widow quams and then there are times steve buscemi has quam eyes oh yeah you know where it's like it both so send in your quam eye submissions looks like a pug for our next fanthrax hey can I go to the bathroom before we get to fan tracks? Or maybe Andrew can just herald us in to it. I can hear. Okay. You hold the show. YIP.

It's going to be very, very fast. Okay. Yeah, I got it. All right. No, let's get it. Let's let's start up fan tracks. Oh, man. Avi sounds happier than ever.

So what do we got first here? I'm excited. Okay. I don't know. I feel like we need to wait for Nikki to come back. No. Start her up. I'll fill her in.

We asked Noah to tell you about REI. So Noah, yeah, let's read this one. Noah's famous. She's Tucson famous, which is, you're like an R-rated celebrity. Nikki is famous. Something low on the alphabet. Nikki is so famous that she got me recognized in Tucson at an REI yesterday. Yeah, story of my life.

Story of my life. I got to put back my taylor swift shirt i put over my jumper because you know i'm going strong now i think this is like day seven of taylor of a taylor swift shirt and some might be a repeats but they're different shirts i want to be you have to take off your holes i had to take off the shirt to get up to the romper but i'm back okay no yeah you got spotted at rei by someone who recognized your voice it was so cute i mean that's unbelievable can i just read this part of the message which uh is already giving me a hot flash okay he goes i just realized i saw you and avi at rei tonight i was listening to the pod before i got there and overheard you talking i was like man that voice sounds really familiar. Then I looked you up on Instagram,

and sure enough, it was you. Oh my God. And you remember this guy? So, yes, because then, of course, I go, and I look him up on Instagram, and we, like, I went and I showed up. Wait, how did you know that this guy was on Instagram? From his profile.

From the message that he sent to the pod. Oh, you looked him up from the message. Got it, got it. I thought you were like saw him in REI and there was a new kind of Shazam for people's faces. No, no, no.

And then like, I do remember, I was looking at like the leggings and stuff and I just like see this guy kind of like looking at me, but I didn't like, I was,

I don't know. You thought know nothing of it you were just like oh you might think i'm cute or you might have overheard our conversation or yeah and i just find that people here in tucson are very um sociable and like just friendly you know they just yeah you met some of your best friends in a parking lot six of them i met six like well eventually became six friends um so yeah so hi and thank you i hope that i didn't say anything weird i love that and can i just beg our listeners if you see something about maybe you're not maybe you don't even want to but like say hi we would love it would you have loved it or what do you feel i i would have been like okay so you remember i was um my sister

in law and my brother took me on vacation when we were doing the radio show it was maybe like two months in and uh it was like a ritz carlton it was like a very nice hotel oh yeah i remember that we were at breakfast and my nephew just kept going auntie noah auntie noah and someone at a table nearby overheard i think her name was steph and she comes over and she goes are auntie noah auntie noah and someone at a table nearby overheard i think her name was steph and she comes over and she goes are you the noah from the nikki glazer radio show and i was just like my whole world it was like you know um in the wonder years when where they like zoom out of kevin's head and there's that like narrator that that narrator voice yes it's just like what is happening and she was so sweet she said she would listen

every morning and i i couldn't believe that i got recognized at that point that's how famous i mean people do love you and they love your voice as i'm talking over it no it's like it makes me so happy when people give me letters to give to you which by, by the way, I do have. Actually, I have it over here. No, please don't. I will read it. Okay. But I do have more letters from our fans this past week. Maybe these are from last week. Anyway, let's get to one of the voice memos, or you were going to read one.

Let's play a voice memo from Kristen. Hey, New Drookie. Bessie Kristen here. Long time listening. And so I have a mispronunciation story. And I also want to shout you guys out for giving me some courage recently. So my mispronunciation story takes place like 10 years ago, I was in middle school and my long distance Bestie and I were hanging out at her grandparents doing what we always did making updates to our Tumblr pages. While I was was Googling something, and I needed to minimize a pop-out window.

But instead of saying that, I said minimanize. And I've pretty much pronounced it that way ever since. I hope that doesn't make me kill it. Next thing is, Nikki, I have to shout you out. You brought me so much light during COVID, and I can never thank you enough for being my Taylor Swift. I remember how you openly talked about attending comedy shows alone, and how much

you enjoyed it, and so you inspired me to get tickets to your show this Friday in Durham, North Cackalacky. I spent more than I've ever spent on shows or tickets so that I could get a seat in row A. I'm so excited for Andrew and Anya and the whole gang, so thank you for giving me the courage to attend the show alone.

Look out for me because I'm going to be wearing these snakeskin boots I bought after seeing how hot you looked in your pink ones. Also, Nikki, your voice sounds adorable, and you'll be welcomed with open arms in Durham no matter what canker sore procedure you just had. Also, P.S., I love how that one bestie who wrote in one time said how they wrote out their voice message before recording, and so I did the same thing. Love you guys. Also, P.S., I love how that one bestie who wrote in one time said how they wrote out their voice message before recording, and so I did the same thing. Love you guys. I can tell.

I love her. Oh my God. I don't want to minimize that, but that was fantastic. I'm just like, I don't know if our listeners get the same joy from hearing these as we do, but Jesus Christ. What was her name kristen

kristen um make sure you um you dm me girl and and let me know um uh you're i i want to meet you so i'll i'll give you a little meet and greet um bump up um because thank you so much for did she say she bought four tickets I didn't hear four tickets but she said that it was you know she had saved up and spent a good amount of money and she's looking forward to it I mean I am like overwhelmed by people spending their hard-earned money on a ticket to see me I am going to that show is going to be super special now more so than ever because and it's tomorrow night and my brother my little brother and his wife's going to be there. Oh, that's awesome.

No, I'm going to really give it my all now because – For my brother. Yeah, for my brother. No, not really. Yeah, for my brother. Well, I'm taking it back down a couple notches, Kristen. What did she say? She's going to be wearing pink boots.

She got – Snake skin boots. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mine are – I hope they're not real, but I'm assuming they're not. I'm assuming they are. It sounded like they might be. No, it's all right.

I'll allow it. This girl can do no wrong in my book. I loved that note. I love that she wrote it out. I love that another bestie kind of encouraged her to do that because I bet there's a lot of people that are like, I'm going to fuck it up and I'm going to say something stupid and then it's gonna like beep and then it's gonna be too late and then Noah's gonna play it we're gonna get made fun of we won't do that to you by the way

and if you come to my show let me just make sure you know I am never if you need to go to the bathroom and get up in the middle of me telling a story and it's really quiet I'm never gonna be like look at this guy taking a fucking dump or this girl's wait up where are you going missy I'm never going to be like, look at this guy taking a fucking dump or this girl's, wait up, where are you going, Missy? I'm never going to call you out. I understand panic disorders. I understand anxiety. I understand having to go to the bathroom. I want you to be as comfortable as possible and never feel trapped. You can run out screaming and I will never be like, fuck you, bitch. Like I'm never going to do that. So feel free to come to my show and sit in the middle and don't be worried about, oh my God, I'm going to be trapped. So feel free to come to my show and sit in the middle and don't be worried about, oh, my God, I'm going to be trapped.

She's going to like it's going to be too weird for me to get up and then everyone's going to see and she's going to make fun of me. I will not do that to you. I promise. Unless you're wearing a really dumb shirt. Just kidding. But I really won't. Yeah, I will. Don't do it during Andrew's bit.

But mine, I promise. Just hold it for Andrew's. But during mine, I will not make fun of you. All right. Let's get to another. Do you want to read the next one? Yeah that one. Maybe it's not the one that I think. Do you want to read one of the letters

that someone gave you? Sure I'll read this. This says Nikki. Hold on let me open the card. Someone gave me in New York a Starbucks ornament that says New York on it. And she also got me a Starbucks gift card. Another person also got me a Nikki Glaser survival pack.

Or like, what are those things where it's like they- Emergency kit. Emergency kit. Thank you. And it was- For your bunker. Yeah. And it was a Starbucks gift card, ordinary uh hydrating serum that i talk

about and what was the other thing on it oh maybe it was the one with the taylor swift dog leash and it was something else that was really funny god damn it i'm sorry oh maybe candy or no it was a protein bar it was a vegan protein bar so good thank you so much uh forget the name of the person that gave it to me but it was really really nice shake it off oh my god this is a taylor swift card i know cards can be overwhelming for you so i'll keep this short you saved me from one of the darkest periods of my life simply with a podcast episode your your feature on esther's weird adults podcast oh awesome so um guys check out me on weird adults with esther um little esther no matter what path you take in your career

your five fans true fans i was like what five fans your true fans will always have your back we love you for you your stand-up does not make up your entire identity thank you for for getting me tickets to the sold-out show your bestie christine christine thank you so much for that and read this other one really quickly. This girl gave me the, this was from Jen. She gave me the cup. She said, I'm not always creative with gifts, but I know you like Starbucks. Maybe you'll

spot down, maybe you'll spot John Mulaney again. Oh, the old John Mulaney at Starbucks. Yesterday, actually. There's stuff right on the back, too. Sometimes I draw what a whole grain looks like for my patients, but I secretly think it looks more like a vagina.

Thought you may enjoy my dual artwork. That does look like a vagina, a whole grain. What does this bitch do? What kind of patients, yeah. Yeah, maybe she's a nutritionist or a gluten anti-gluten advocate. If you don't like whole grains, but if you love pussy.

Yeah, the guy that looks like a stressed out like Starbucks barista, John Mulaney. So John Mulaney four months ago? Yeah. He, I saw him yesterday

with Kirsten at Starbucks and I did the thing that I hate when people do where I whisper to Kirsten, I go, look behind you, John Mulaney. And then she looked up

and he was looking at us right when I, after he saw me, whispered to her. And I hope that he thought that I was like, that guy looks like john mulaney because john mulaney's hot it's not it's not a bad thing but i thought you know it was just it seemed like we were making fun of him because then she laughed because it was so uncanny but not because it felt so bad then you almost want to say something yes i did but i didn't and should have. My canker sores were hurting so bad.

I was just like, I'm just going to let him think that we were bullying him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, John. You have to throw the coffee in his face. I know. Do we have another voice one or no? You in that glove. What's up?

You jealous? We have so many voice messages. This one comes from Maddie. guys how you doing um okay first of all i just want to say that i'm mattoos who made all of those posts in the uh nikki subreddit um but none of them are negative though so i just want to say. Also, you just put my story on your story. And if I knew you were going to do that, I probably would have written something curt. So I'm glad that I didn't. But yeah, anyway, I just want to say, like during the whole pandemic, when you were still doing the you will podcast I was I was in the exact same

situation as you because I I was living this amazing life in a different city with loads of friends that I've always wanted and I had to like move back in with my parents even though I felt like way too old and I didn't know what was going to happen next. I was like, so, oh my God, I was so depressed. And listening to you up every day, oh my God, like you have no idea how, oh God, like what that did for me. It really, really helped me. So yeah, like that's all I really wanted to say. And yeah, all the swells and don't be cut what was his name maddie oh my god maddie thank you so much i get really teary-eyed when people talk about um uh last year and like listening to that podcast because that podcast was really hard

for me to do because i was so depressed and some days it was like running a marathon with prosthetic legs which I don't understand what that would be like but it really was like easier the last yeah a lot easier um it was the last thing I wanted to do and it was so hard and I was so sad and I feel like it got me through it too because I just I guess I was thinking about those people that were listening I can't even believe people were listening I was in such a bad place I'm glad that it helped people but man

I was so alone then too it just it makes me feel better in retrospect even though maybe I wouldn't didn't know it at the time I think that like I felt like the hands of all the people on my back when I was sitting in that chair in my dad's office and like it was a hot summer day I just remember being so depressed and being like I don't

want to do this fucking podcast I have to just talk by myself I don't have anything to talk about and poor Noah would have to like edit it later on and like listen to me ramble about like I was my brain was so in a bad place but there's something when I picture that time I honestly start picturing like all these people listening and like how I wasn't alone and like that podcast actually probably saved me and honestly thank you to everyone who listened to that and who listens to me now still and and because you put up with a lot here too. But I really love you. Just kidding. No, I promise I meant everything. But just kidding is really fun to just drop in. Are you excited about my brother

being at the show tomorrow? No. You're supposed to say yes. No, I know. Of course I know that I was supposed to say yes and then just kidding. But it's funnier that the thing you expected me to do. I know, I got it. Just kidding. Just kidding.nier that the thing you expected me to do i know i got it

just kidding just kidding wait what'd you say just kidding wait one time more time i'm just kidding it really helps me it's the best final thought oh fuck me do we have one more yes wait can you read the one that you sent to us today? Oh, from Andrew. Andrew, you should read it. Yeah, will you read that one, Noah? Okay. Just kidding.

No, I don't care. Just kidding. Just kidding. Get that dog's dick out of your mouth and read it for us, Andrew. Okay. Here it is. I had gallbladder surgery yesterday, and when i woke up in my room my nurse kept asking me random things about you i was answering all their questions but i a little

confused then when one of my doctors came in he was telling me that during the whole surgery recovery i was telling them that nikki gla is my best friend. Just kidding. No, LOL. Really having all the swells. Hope you guys are staying well. So this girl. That's from Amanda. What's her name?

Coma State. Amanda. Amanda. Dude, that makes me so happy that you even, like the stuff we say when we're in anesthesia state. Yeah, anesthesia. When we're anesthetized.. Yeah. Anesthesia, yeah. When we're anesthetized. American Idol, yeah.

Fantasia. When we're Anastasia Komuninsky. No, when we, that shit's so embarrassing. Even the stuff, like Kirsten said that a couple times last night. She said I was saying full sentences. I was just like talking in my sleep, and I know what I was dreaming about. I'm really scared of what I might have said. I can only imagine the shit that I would say

to an anesthesiologist. Can she tell you what you said? She said it was just like me being like, and I just think that. And it's just like I was talking that loud. But she said it was nothing specific, but I was like, whew! Because I had some incestual dreams. Oh, incestuous?

Kind of incestuous. Do you know what that means? Oh, some incestual dreams. Incestuous? Kind of incestuous. Do you know what that means? Oh, not incest. No, yes. Oh. Like, that's a common, I'm not embarrassed to admit that sometimes my dreams get a little incesty. You've never had that happen where you're like, something happens with a family member, sexual? Yikes.

Nikki just admitted. You know what? With who? With your family member? No, you don't know't know and honestly i don't mean any of this i was just kidding so no but you're having incest dreams i have incest dreams sometimes and i'm not just kidding i'm serious dude no have you ever had a dream where you're like, ew? Okay, I'll give this one to you. I never had incest dreams, but I had a dream that I was like kissing someone and I was sharing a bed with my sister

and I woke up and I was kissing her head. Oh my God, that's so, you just actually had an incest moment. That's hilarious. It's so humiliating, but we can't help of it okay listen i had a dream that i was blowing my brother while his dog watched and when i woke up just blowing his dog oh yeah that would have been so embarrassing it would have been so weird um okay look at this this i just googled youest dreams. Are you not going to say who you're banging? Literally name a family member I've dreamt of banging them. Shut the front door.

And I come from a Catholic family. We've got many, many, I have a lot of relatives. These are five common sex dreams aren't actually about sex. Number one, sex with your boss. Number two, cheating. This is an article from archive.attn.com. Three, sex with your best friend. I haven't had a sex dream about you.

Four, incest. Incest may be the most unsettling sexual act to dream about. If you've woken up horrified from a dream about sex with a parent or other family member, it doesn't mean that you are sexually attracted to them on a subconscious level. These dreams tend to reflect tension or distance in familial relationships. Sex with a parent may have to do with transitioning into adulthood or becoming a parent yourself. Sex with any family member can be about acceptance deep forgiveness a longing to be closer or just what you really want i'm just kidding or healing a rift just kidding so just kidding but um i am

really flattered that someone thought they were friends you are friends with me i honestly you are you don't have to lose a gallbladder to admit it either what is a gallbladder and like what why why i guess we don't need it i think it's one of those which is weird sure yeah like a pancreas the pancreas the uh the gall of god giving you a organ you don't need well you have the bladder and then the gallbladder i guess the gallbladder i think is the one that gives you bile which you definitely need you definitely need that oh so sorry that you lost your gallbladder you need to stop throwing up if you're a bulimic out there i mean that's hopefully she's okay i guess she's okay i guess i think you i guess you just um yeah let us know what if your gallbladder is okay and if you had it removed or

what was going on and and how we can all prevent that from happening to us maybe you could put a prosthetic we gotta go um that is so but i'm so flattered by that i i what a treat that someone thought about me when in there like have you ever been under anesthesia yeah with my asshole colon oh that's right colonoscopy okay it's weird did you say anything weird? I did have visions. I had visions of like they knew like I was awake while they were flipping me around. Uh-huh. And I had like visions of them like pointing at my and laughing at my penis. Okay.

Well, that. But it was my uncle, so it's completely. It's just about familiar is there a thing called incest where it's like incest but with like ghosts of your ancestors whoa why you think like you blow your old like uncle great uncle who you never met before tony yeah i don't know but he was he might have been in that surgery room but i just kind of have a weird memory of them like flipping me around and like i mean i i want to hear if you're a bestie and you've witnessed people on anesthesia what's the weirdest thing you've heard someone say yeah and did you tell them afterwards what they said

let us know uh we'll hear from you next week with fanthrax on Thursday we have so many they're just piling up we got to get through them faster next week maybe we do a whole episode of them pretty coming up um thank you for dealing with my canker sore drama this week. We are healing up. I can't wait to see you in Durham tomorrow night and then in Charleston on Saturday night. Thank you so much for going to shows. And then Indianapolis next weekend, Milwaukee next weekend. And yeah, can't wait.

And I love you guys. And Jacksonville. Florida. Or Oregon. Or Missouri. Oh. Jacksonville Florida or Oregon or Missouri oh Joel the holidays are a blast but the financial hangover that can be a huge bummer

if you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove.

Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr,

E, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid.

Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships and engage in thought provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences. Decisions Decisions is going to be your go to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.