The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #129 Make You Good

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Between you and Nikki, getting Starbucks is not even about the coffee and her hormones are even driving her period app crazy. Andrew picks the wrong day to pitch a golf podcast and Nikki changes a morbid mantra with the stroke of a comma. Kirsten joins and we learn that she does not prefer a cracked soap bar. You Heard It Here First, we like Pete Kardashian, there are no Power Ranger suits in Squid Game and we care more about Invisalign hacks than Drake's new watch. In Top1 Bottom1 they talk about Road Trips and in the Final Thought we learn more about Nikki's experience on Last Comic Standing. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hello, here I am. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whatever it is. It's Monday on the Nikki Glaser podcast. Oh boy, what an episode we have for you today. Actually, I don't know what it's going to be, but I have a feeling it's going to be good. I'm in a good mood. I'm clocking in at like a, if I'm doing a BSB, body, soul, what's the last one? Body, soul, brain.

Brain, yes. Body is like a six six which is fine um soul i'm cranking in at like a nine and a half brain eight eight and a half what about you noah what do we bsb backstreet boys good everything is like i would say like eight like eight nine eight eight across eight nine across the board oh that's great that's great um yeah kirsten's here she's gonna be on the show later andrew's in a good mood today so am i i um i got him two breakfast sandwiches today um he doesn't know he thinks it is out of the goodness of my heart it was really to complete uh the starbucks challenge on the app today which is if you buy four breakfast sandwiches before between October 28th and November 1st,

you get 80 points. What is 80 points? It's 150 points is a free drink. So pretty much 80 points is like $3. So I spent four times. I spent. It's really if you do the math, I lost money, but I wanted those 80 points. And yeah, I don't know what's wrong

with me i follow these little games on the app and um and this morning my app wasn't even working and i almost was just like i almost lost it because i'm just like i can't i'm not gonna get starbucks without contributing to my points and if my app doesn't load i can't get those points it's just like what is happening i'm such a consumer it's embarrassing um do you do any kind of point system noah are you like a do you do like the grocery cart like grocery stores super saver card anything like that sephora points yeah honestly so um if i if i go to like i try not to go to starbucks even though I have been, but when I go to my local coffee shop, they have those punch cards. And whenever I finish it, I just feel too guilty to ask for a free coffee.

I can pay for a coffee, so I don't even ask for one. Wow. Oh my God. I just don't want it for free. That is so altruistic. Is it just because you are too embarrassed to be like i want a free thing i just don't want to take from a small business yeah it's a small business thing okay but i do save it just in case i you know like i want to give it to somebody else or something that's sweet maybe like a homeless person right that would be a good gift who just needs to be i mean coffee does

make you feel um to me it makes me feel happier honestly so yeah i mean it it does that's why i drink it i don't even think it's about so much like feeling more awake i think it's just a well i'm addicted to it obviously I love the ritual and it is my one vice because I don't drink I don't smoke yeah I mean it is a but you don't drink it

in inordinate amounts like what are you doing one cup a day just one oh my god and it's like you get like a small coffee and I even offered to buy you Starbucks when I was here or when you were here. And you're like, no, I'm actually good with the coffee at my hotel. And I'm like, what? And I love that you even have a barometer of what tastes good.

To me, it's just, you know, I need, I just need Starbucks because I need the, it's about the milk. It's about the syrup. It's about the milk. It's about the syrup. It's about the cup. It's about the ritual. Yeah, the weight of the cup in my hand. Yeah, the ritual of it. It's so, but it is, it's one of those, you know,

I've talked about coffee addiction or caffeine addiction a lot on this podcast, but it's one of those things if you start doing a little search on it and i don't think you have a problem with it with one cup a day that is like that's like someone who has one glass of wine you don't drink at all anymore no no not at all did you ever i feel like you drank oh yeah you used to drink a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot oh and then when i got on antidepressants for the first time, I was like, I don't want to take a depressant and an antidepressant. I was so worried about my brain exploding that I just was like, I don't need to drink.

I'm going to quit because I want to focus on this. Good for you. I mean, was that hard for you to go from? But did the antidepressant do the job of the thing that alcohol was doing for you yes so i guess i always say that i'm i'm too lazy to get addicted to anything like it's just that's true i just don't so it was like i i do i do everything cold turkey. Right. You know, like I used to smoke cigarettes one day. I just got so sick of it.

I just was like no more of this. How long did you smoke for? Like in my 20s. Actually, I think I started at like 18 or 19. Cool. And I would say like four years on and off. Yeah, me too. I was definitely very addicted to cigarettes and it was the ritual of that like going to bars a reason to go step outside a way to socialize

and then it starts making you uns antisocial because you smell bad yeah some less and less people smoke anymore so you would have less people to hang out with and now it and then it's like it becomes yeah the book that i read to quit smoking was just like you think it's social but it's actually alienating you from everyone and like that's what addiction does like my coffee thing like i have so many like now i'm just like i like what i like i know that the best way to quit something is to accept that I need it right now. Having guilt about, oh my God, I have so many coffees a day.

I need another Starbucks. Oh my God, the people at the store probably think I'm so crazy. All that stuff, I just let it go. If I want it, I just let myself have it. And the gentleness with which I'm not, I try not to judge the things that my mind instantly goes why are you doing this you're failing and and when i'm nicer to myself

about it i'm just like you want it it tends to fall away quicker but caffeine addiction is so gnarly dude it's it's the yeah the withdrawal symptoms are what we're all they're the worst even on one cup of coffee if i skip it i just have a a terrible migraine and i just feel sick what the hell that's the i mean what does obvi say about it he's someone who's very like mind body he's a bsb he's very disciplined but he loves his coffee yeah. I mean, it's just one of those things that is so culturally ingrained in us to not feel like it's a habit that any of us should feel guilty about. And guilt is not what I'm trying to put out there. It's just awareness that it is a thing that people cannot live without.

And the second you're like, people i'm not addicted it's like okay try to go one day without it then just try see what happens like you'll be irritable lethargic headaches you know it's it's it's brutal um but i'm just like whatever you know i i read how people are and on and off it on this uh subreddit decaf which is all people getting off coffee and the stories that they tell are just like you know my anxiety went away we're pretty much drinking cups of anxiety and we're all wondering why we have anxiety disorders because it makes your it makes you have anxiety it's pretty much that it makes you agitated it adds to it but you know i can sleep with coffee in my system I can it doesn't it's a drug that

doesn't have the same effect on me Conan O'Brien also says that he he doesn't even drink coffee because it doesn't do anything for him like it doesn't make him more alert it just doesn't doesn't affect him and um I just I think that's kind of I don't know i just crave the taste i get addicted to like just you know right now i just like i only eat like i i only ever crave like the same thing over and over i get on these kicks where i just want the thing i want and i'm fine about it because i'm not like i'm not uh malnourishing myself necessarily but there's got to be some food deficiencies going on. I just got walloped by my period. Like it's a hurricane coming through, which makes me feel good because it makes me feel like,

okay, my body's working, whatever. But Jesus Christ. My period app is like still? Really? Because it usually comes in for two days and then it goes away. This one just will not leave. And I was at a concert

the other night and I thought it was done and I was jumping up and down to the song I went to go see Ludo my friend Tim's band and um there's a song called scare me that I'm obsessed with it's so fun it's a Halloweeny song so but it's still one that you can listen to anytime I really recommend everyone checking it out it's just one of you can listen to anytime. I really recommend everyone checking it out. It's just one of my favorite songs. It came out in 2020. I'm obsessed with it. I sing it all the time when I'm running.

It's just my go-to pump-me-up song. I got to see it live, and I was just so excited for this song because I knew the set list of the show, so I knew when it was coming. I was just like, listening to a song I really love performed live, there live there's no greater feeling and that song that I know all the lyrics to that's why I don't understand people that go to live music and they just are like I've never heard of the band but I just like going to concerts it's like don't you love to know the song inside and out like I don't enjoy it otherwise I mean I can enjoy it but it goes from a level three enjoyment to like 20 based on if I know the song or not. Um, and, and, and one of the, and so when I was jumping around to that song,

my period like started again. I, I've just was like, well, it's, I'm going to be leaking through these pants, these trousers. And, uh, and yeah, it started like like it just like all flew out of me sorry for the grossness but it was like do you ever think your period's gone and then it comes back like so there's like an aftershock and it's just like oh my god it's so nice though to have a period to have something to blame your erratic emotions on like it's it's just nice to go oh it's because i'm on my period or like if you're feeling a little bloated you get to be like oh it's gonna go away and it's just like no this is just who you are bitch but it's just that's fine blame it on the period um yeah i just um do you ever just want to be alone like you just want to like i have kirsten staying with me and i have

you know i'm just constantly surrounded by people even when it's not even when i'm not necessarily working you know like yeah uh there's cameras following me around even when those cameras are not actually recording there's still people around and you got to kind of talk to them and like that's why I don't like getting my hair done because I that's a that's a that's a chunk of time that I just don't want to talk like I really just want to be in my phone the only time I get to just truly be in my phone and disappear into it and feel really like like not guilty about being in my phone is when I'm about to go to bed and when I'm getting my hair done or there's something where I can't move you know and can't be doing work and I just don't want to talk and you know having a friend in town who's like my best friend and who I love to spend time with and she's married and lives on the other side of Missouri so I rarely get to see her like

but I you know she's been here since Thursday and she's leaving Tuesday and it's like I just yesterday when I'm on the day our day off I just was like can I just be a like I just want to go to bed and be alone like I needed a nap yesterday even though it was a beautiful day outside god I would have loved it to be raining yesterday because it was raining in my soul and I just needed to be alone and that's what I fear I guess of being in a relationship is like feeling or even having kids it's like yesterday with how I was feeling like mommy needed to go in her room and cry and be alone for three hours to just like a mini suicide you know like that's what Nick Griffin comedian calls naps and like I just needed in the middle of the day even though I

slept till 11 45 I need to go back to bed and sleep out this depression like I needed to leave my system almost like a migraines when I get migraines like they will not go away unless i nap and like restart you know like i have to shut down my computer and restart it because i keep trying to get it to work and it's just it's exactly like a computer when your computer like the mouse is kind of going like like you're trying to move it but it's like lagging and you're like maybe if i just keep trying things it's like no press like you need to hold down the power button and force restart and that's what i feel like naps are noah do you ever feel that way and like what do you do when you have a partner who's like let's go for a hike or let's go walk it's a beautiful day outside

you live in arizona the air is so crisp there's a sunset there's a bird like what do you do okay so guilty we understand that um sometimes each one of us needs autonomy and um so you know even though we are together we do have our separate lives i do understand the whole nap thing because when i was depressed i used to just want to like close my eyes and just like fantasize and be in a dream where everything works out. And it was better to just be asleep than to be in real life. Yes. So it's definitely linked to depression. Yes.

I know you have a lot of stuff going on probably related to that. But there's nothing wrong with taking some time to yourself yeah but i think it would be better spent if you were awake with yourself i know that was the hard part was like i was so depressed yesterday and like crying and just not being able to like no one could talk me out of it like there was no getting out of there was no yeah I just in it I become a broken record like there's just no hope everything's negative anyone who just completely disproves what I'm saying I come back at them with like no but you're wrong it's just like not pleasant to be around I couldn't and I knew that maybe a walk outside would have been

good but man I took a two-hour nap and it just I woke up feeling a thousand times better like I just needed to purge it out of my soul with that nap and I know that sometimes napping can be bad but I just let myself have it because I I fought against it and I was like try to wrap your head around going for a walk with your friend try to wrap your head around going out to lunch and I just didn't want it just like I didn't just like I want coffee when I know that I probably shouldn't have another cup I was just like this is really what you want right now like you're considering the other options you're not just knee jerk going to bed you're actually thinking about it and this is what you want and don't feel guilty just

indulge and I think by doing that I was able to get the most out of it and not stay in bed all day and wake up and just completely different person like come like the you know if you're someone out there who suffers with depression and like the way that your mind can work when you're in that fog it's it's you don't even relate to it when you're feeling good like i truly hours later could not relate to the person that was saying the things i was saying before uh it was just it's alarming but it was really like the kind of i just have to talk to my psychiatrist and my doctor and just say listen around my period things get way worse and i need to bump up something around that time because it's just, it was rough waters yesterday and there was nothing anyone could do to get me

out of it. Any loved one. It was just, thank God though. Thank God I had the space and the time to sleep because, and you know, I had work to do that we kind of put aside and thank you Noah for being like we can just do it another time like in the middle of recording you know some podcast

stuff I was just like I can't do this like it just I was and thank god it wasn't stuff that urgently needed to be done I fear I fear having that happen to me when I do urgently need stuff to be done but I think it only lets itself out when it knows it can I have space for it because some some reason it always comes out in a time where it's like things can be canceled and moved like I just needed a break and that's okay and yeah Kirsten walked in my bedroom after I slept and she was like, oh my God, it smells like something fucking died. And we were like, is there, did Luigi poop or like, did something die?

And it was like, I didn't. She was like, were you farting? I was like, no, like what happened? And I think it was like my depression, like the ghost of my, I'm not even kidding you. It like smelled like death. And it was just like me sleeping and depressed and it was just like the work but it was just the way my soul felt and it was just lingering in this room so we like aired it out and we like went on a walk and then it was

gone and i was just like bye ghost bye depression ghost it was seriously like this dark cloud in my soul was just like it it it got out my system. And even being in that room, I was like, I got to get it. Don't even come back in me. I feel like possessed. So it's a nice way to look at depression as like a possession and it's not your fault. And it was just like I had the flu for my mind. So feeling much better today. Thank God. Oh, thank God. It will happen again. I'll be ready for it. I'll know that it's not my fault. And yeah, I'll hopefully get through it. Thank you to all my friends who were so kind and gentle with me when I was being a real bitch-a-roo.

But let's get one of those friends in here. Andrew! Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives

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I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery, a story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever.

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Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit.

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Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilberger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Each week, we'll sit down with inspiring figures like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. And their plus one, their ride or die, as they share stories never heard before about their remarkable journey. Listen to My Legacy starting January 20th on MLK Day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Yo, hey now. What up, Andrew? Can I say hey now or is that copying Howard Stern? That's copying, well, I think he's copying Larry's Handershow. Oh, really? I say hey now Or is that copying Howard Stern That's copying Well I think he's copying

Larry Sanders show Oh really Yeah Yeah hey now Oh yeah What was that guy's name The other Jeffrey Tambor

Yes Jeffrey Tambor Who Yeah was Mean to me once Really what happened I was on Opie's show Opie and Jim

When they were on Serious No it was opie and jim and opie when they were like doing the show together without anthony and jet jeffrey tamber was on and he was you know promoting transparent and i was just talking about i forget what did he say it was so rude i was like backing up because you know they were making jokes about like you know you're wearing a dress you wear lipstick and he was very much like he understands trans rights as that playing that Kara care character Moira on the show and I think I was just backing him up and he was like what are you even saying what are you here for what are you even talking about what do you what you're you don't even what he just he made he goes i don't even know what you're saying

or what you're talking and i was just like i'm backing you up and actually i had a pretty interesting thing to say i know when i'm being not interesting yeah yeah like i know when i'm being a rambly idiot i know what i just did on this podcast for the last 15 minutes, but I, I definitely, but wait, I don't know if that was Jeffrey timber from Larry Sanders show. The older guy with the,

he talked like this. He had a little, that's ripped horn. Yeah. Ripped horn. But he wasn't the one that said, Hey now. Oh,

okay. But that's what I was thinking. Character said, Hey now. Yeah. Uh, what a great name. Ripped horn. I mean, how do you get born? Oh, I mean, that's what I was thinking of. Jeffrey Tamper's character said, hey, now. Yeah. What a great name, Rip Torn.

Oh, such a good name. I mean, how do you get born? I mean, that's a nickname, right? It's got to be, right? I don't know. Or maybe you just had clever parents. Was that the new hat? What would you name your kids?

Yeah, it was a new hat. Oh, where'd you get that? TaylorMade sent me it. Nice. Sent it to you? Yeah, sent me seven hats. Oh, I didn't know that. Those are the hats Kirsten was trying on the other day?

They sent me and then I traded in my golf clubs for being the drivers. I still have tailor-made irons. Don't worry, folks. I don't understand what... The difference? So the golf club changes everything? No, it's the golfer.

You traded them in? You can just trade in golf clubs you trade in and usually you have to pay a little bit more like like a difference it's like trading in a car like so let's say a club's 400 bucks you trade it in and then you probably have to pay 100 what do you just take it to the shop and they assess it yeah and they say this they go this is what the club is they type it in they go this is what you bought it for a week ago and now it's already dropped about 80 percent where you bought it and so then you're traded whatever they they have a nice thing going when do you just go i'm done and these i think i'm done not i have heard that so many times not i okay here's the thing i started with all i started

with all taylor made sims 2 traded into sims 2 got 790 irons because i'm it's a little bit better of a player iron they call it my driver i traded in but it was too light because i i was dealing with uh slicing the ball now i'm dealing with hitting it to the left okay so then i got a heavier and then i traded in the uh my my wedges for titleless wedges because they're the best wedges the sm8s and then i traded in my wedges for Titleist wedges because they're the best wedges, the SM8s. And then I traded in my Sim 2 driver, 3-wood hybrid for all ping because I hit the ping driver so well.

And then I went with a putter. I got the Spyder X putter. And then I traded that in. Oh, no, the Spyder S putter. I mean, I can't tell you enough how this is not going anywhere for us. Are you getting to somewhere where it's going to really click? Yeah, it's all going to come together. And people that don't enjoy golf are just going to go,

okay, that was worth the wait. Okay, I'm waiting. And then I got the Scotty Cameron putter at the casino. And I was like, oh, wait, that's the putter I'm going with. So I'm done with the Spider-S. So I traded in the Spider-S when I got the new wedges. Yeah. Where is this going?

I'm telling you. Okay. So then I was like, all right, I like this ping putter. I feel like this is one of those squid game challenges. Oh, my God. I wish I understood that reference. I don't understand it either. I traded in the ping putter for a Spider-X. So now I have that reference. I don't understand it either. I traded in the Ping Butter for a Spider X.

So now I have Ping Driver, Ping 3-Wing, Ping Hybrid. No, you just wasted everyone's time. $7.90 tailor-made Titleist wedges and a Spider X Butter, and I am happy now. No. That was not good. Andrew, that was for like golf people would like that. Save that for the golf podcast.

Why don't you start a golf podcast where all you do is talk about golf? First of all. You talked like you were going to get it to something interesting. It was going. It was building. To what? You ruined the build. It was building hard.

But what did it end with that I ruined the payoff? Just what your complete set was yeah i hated that but i'll tell you what there are people out there that go i i know but most of our listeners do not know i get a lot of messages from our listeners that play golf i great but the vast majority we're supposed you know, we can talk in specifics, but not for that long. It was a 15-second rant. You made it 25 seconds. That's a good point.

I did make it longer because I just was like. I think anyone can understand, though, changing everything about yourself except for yourself, and that's what you do with golf clubs. Instead of just changing, understanding that it's your swing because your dad had that three and a half wood that was from like 1848 yeah and a club called the controller which is a two iron sounds like what my what we call my dad yeah and i was able to hit those uh-huh so my swing's It's not the club. It's not the shirt. It's not the jeans. It's not the shoes.

It's you. Make you good. That's the point. Make you good. That was Melania's first name for the Be Best Challenge. Make you good. That's pretty good. Yeah, it is.

It always comes down to you. And people do in recovery programs when people move towns and they're like, I'm going to start anew. Yeah, it is. It always comes down to you. And like people do in recovery programs when people like move towns and they're like, I'm going to start anew. Yeah, exactly. They call it a geographic of being like, oh, this will change me. I'm going to move to a new city and reinvent myself. And it's like, you just brought you to another city. You're still you.

Nothing about you is different now. Or you lie to yourself for like a month and you're like, I'm in Paris. I'm going to read now and, you know, better myself. different now that if or you lie to yourself for like a month and you're like i'm in paris i'm gonna read now and and and you know yeah better myself and it's like you don't have a job and you're on the street somewhere to like be like i'm gonna write a book because i'm gonna be inspired by what's around me it's like if you if you can't write a like a page in st louis you're not gonna write a book in paris it's like everyone goes i need more time i don't have enough time and it's like then you quit your job and you have nothing

but time and you don't do it and you're like oh maybe that wasn't it like time is not my problem like i get so much more done when i have less time and i think we all know that like when you have a bunch of shit to do you can get you just go bam bam, bam, bam, bam. And it gets it all done. But I just, yeah, what's the thing right now that you're trying to overcome and be, what was it called? Be better you? Better you. Wait, get better you. Oh, be, what did I say?

Be the. Something good. Be. Something good. Do you good. Yeah, do you good. Be good. Be your yeah do you good be good be yours do yourself good and i thought of a really good uh word play on words yesterday that was like

uh oh you know oh saying like i was saying if because i was just so depressed yesterday that i all i could think of was like like i i need to kill myself like that word just goes in my head over and over kill my i didn't want to kill myself i want to kill myself and it becomes like a mantra it's it's insane but then i started so i was saying it in my head over and over like a mantra and i was like i couldn't stop doing it it just made me feel so much better. It's the funniest mantra ever to have, by the way. I know, and my mantra recently has been, I create joyful experiences in my loving world. That's been my mantra recently. And then yesterday, I was just like,

all I wanted to do was just say, I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself over and over when I was trying to sleep. It's insane, insane, right? But then I was like, how can I make this phrase not, even though that's exactly what i

want to say in my head and nothing nothing is going to change that and i just want to say those i want to kill myself those five words how can i change the meaning of them so i can still say them and it doesn't mean that did you turn it into a haiku no i changed it into, I want to kill myself. Like, oh, you killed up there. I want to kill myself. Like, also. Oh, I want to kill as well. Yeah, like, as well. Like, I'd like that myself.

You know, like, you say myself as, like, too. So I was like, I want to kill myself. But, you know, you don't always get to kill. And then I changed it so that I was able to say it, still say it, and it just meant that I want to do well on stage. Does that make sense? No, it does.

I mean, it's absolutely insane, but it does make sense. There's something in my brain that was like, you can't say anything else right now. And there's not, I also like, look at it.

Like someone just killed themselves and you saw them kill themselves. And you're like, Hey, I want to do that. Like, Hey, no, that would be,

I want to kill myself myself. Yes. I would, I want would i want to yeah but or if i saw someone murder someone i would go i want to kill i want to kill myself yeah like you just killed someone i want to kill myself yeah yeah no it makes it i guess yeah you can turn any like really dark meaning it's still the homonym of it it still sounds the same but the meaning is different yeah it's like when i do you know i i do the one bit about dad cheating and stuff and you're like no but keep it you don't have to take it to a real tone like keep it silly even if you're saying a dark thing like you could say it's not the same mind changes the meaning of it but yes i know what you mean like make it make a sad thing yeah take a sad

song and make it not about killing yourself remember yeah i mean that's that's a tough way to uh spend a day i'm not listen this is a specific it's like um it's like canker sores people who don't get canker sores don't know what they feel like but they are very specific kind of pain and that's why when i was going through that i was like if you're out there and you know what a canker sore feels like imagine your whole tongue is that because it's not the same as having a cut on your lip or biting your lip and like having it kind of hurt it's a specific like sour tasting like striking pain and the kind of depression i have is a very specific type of depression that isn't just like i'm sad it's like you your brain wants to you you want to go to bed

so you can when you were talking no about like sometimes you just want to go and lay and fantasize about a better life i don't i want to fantasize about killing myself and that will make me feel better that's the only thing i want to do that will soothe me and like it's and i i talked about on joe rogan and the only reason i know is i'm not alone with this there are other people i know other people out there who have this kind of depression it's like it's like it's like the canker sore of depression it's like a very specific kind of pain that it just, and that's not something I choose to think about. It's just what my brain wants to do so that it feels good. It's like when you have an itch on your arm

and you just want to, like, it's saying, like, scratch it. And you're like, am I choosing to want to scratch this? It's like, no, I just, the saying I want to kill myself is this for your arm. And it leaves, like, a bloody mark. But you're like, I just had to do myself is this for your arm. And it leaves like a bloody mark, but you're like, I just had to do it. Cause it felt good.

I mean, this gets dark, but is it like that stopped you from doing it? Yeah. It feels better. And it feels, but the thing is, I know that it's not good because I know positive mantras work.

So why wouldn't a negative mantra work too, to like put me in a worse state of mind so that's why i was like okay you've got to change the meaning of this thing that you're gonna that your brain is one gonna want to say but bring different meaning to it so it's not so that the real truth that your body absorbs is not that meaning but you can still say those five words but not have them mean that instead it just means oh i want to do well on stage two yeah it's so fucked yeah but it's the same as scratching i think my analogy is perfect because when you have like a bug bite you're just like oh and then you cause it to like bleed and like you cause a scar

from scratching it and it made it feel better at first but then it made it bleed so when i bite my nails and i eventually start bleeding yes or i pick up my cuticles and they eventually start bleeding oh and then they were so in pain and then i had to put new spore on them to make them like numb do yours hurt when you pick when you rip them yeah of course like when i like especially like when it's like the one like right by the side satisfying to get like little pieces of nail like the The hard part is when you rip it and it feels great because you get that where it's kind of dead. And then you know if you keep going,

it's going to bleed and hurt. But you've got to get it. Help it, dude. I get it. I relate. Let's get Kirsten in here. Kirsten! She's a healthy person

that doesn't harm herself I don't think. She's such a positive person. Oh yeah, she's great. She's a trainer for our apartment. Yeah. Get in here.

Oh my god. What is that? Keep that on. Keep it on, bitch. She looks exactly like the opposite of what we were just talking about. She looks exactly like you would bitch she looks exactly like the opposite of what we were just talking about

she looks exactly like you would think she looks come on just come in no keep it on you had all the time to pee

don't do this every time we leave to go anywhere you go wait I gotta go pee and like put on some cream and I'm just like

no what I was gonna say is that I was digging for some shoes to put shoes on for this cause I always come in barefoot oh no you're fine and i found this band yeah and i did a few yeah she found a um a rubber band you did a few activations on your bed yeah on my bed okay wake up my body and soul for you guys oh you smell so good really yeah what's going

on wait what is that what What did you put on? I washed out my armpit. Yeah, it's your armpit. That sea salt soap. Oh, it's good. It's um. Did you put that in my bathroom? I did.

God, like the best smelling thing in my bathroom is something you brought. What is that? Well, it's a, that company used to work for the. Oh, Zoom? Zoom soap. Yeah, Zoom. So, um, sorry, I was doing some things. Yeah, so I do love, I love that soap.

And I noticed that the bar of soap in your bathroom just, like there's no smell that comes out. It's just so neutral. And I kind of like a little scent. And the goat's milk is really like moisturizing. Yeah, my body wash that I love just ran out. That Necessaire stuff. Use that bar then. that necessary use that bar then

yeah use that bar to like shave and i use it from i i use it as soap it's not bad to have no smelling soap no i know i know you just said that to me like you were judging you were a little bit nervous to judge me no no i just the bar looks i don't what does it look like you told me the other day do anything to make this more comfy to stay with you. Yes. Like do anything that helps you feel more comfortable. So I just was like, I'll bring a bar of soap. I'll bring a jar of almond butter.

You just said my soap does not smell, but you also said it looks. What were you about to say? Okay. You know how when a bar of soap is so old that it's like cracked up and dried? Yes. And I lather, I would rub it, but nothing would come off of it. So I was like rubbing my armpits for like the first time I came up this fall

and it like didn't, I don't feel like it cleaned me well. So I just was like, I'll just bring her in the bar. Maybe I haven't been cleaning myself well. Sometimes I just dry up and get old because I think you use body wash. So I was like, I'll bring some soap.

I use like shampoo to like sometimes wash my. It's no offense. The three in one or one in three or whatever. I bring it, it's my favorite. A one in three-in-one or a one-in-three or whatever. I bring it. It's my favorite smell. A one-in-three. You got a cracked soap in there probably, right? No, I have body wash. Yeah?

Yeah. I think a hint of coconut. A hint of coconut for the butthole. I do a full face thing now. I have like five steps. Nice. Yeah. What do you do in the morning?

A face wash. Toner. face thing now. I have like five steps. Nice. What do you do in the morning? Face wash, toner, serum, eye cream, lotion. But I only have to do it right here because I have the beard. Under the beard, there's maggots. But up here.

In here, it's nice. Just this two inches. Is the lotion for your face yeah i have bad uh dermatitis yeah dermatitis i like how guys call face cream lotion it's like lotions for your elbows yes but face cream you know what i mean yeah it's moisturizing on uh cortisone forever which you know cortisone it's like for like uh for redness around my nose yeah yeah and i went to the dermatologist recently and she's like yeah that's um if you want your nose to be purple when you're 50 you can keep using that and i was like why would your nose be purple from from the zone because it's like cortisone is like a steroid like

it's too much for what you're doing. Like you don't need that. Like it's not the perfect drug for that. Right. And so I've been doing this for like, like my nose is going to look like a fucking. Old purple nose Colin they call him. Why do you have no pores on your nose? Why are there like zero pores?

I have makeup on. No, but like you literally have. I was looking at you yesterday. It was like no pores. No. Is it because you get extractions when you get well i think so whenever i go to my esthetician amber she always as we're doing microneedle treatments she's like your poor like she gets so excited she's like dude oh my god your pores are like non-existent girl and i don't know if she's just saying that i don't know the change but thank you

what is i guess it's good is it from her micro needling the micro needle is supposed to like like even your tone help your collagen also like help pores because my pores were huge she said she was like i had to tone it down when i first saw you because like your pores are huge and she was like she's like you work out all day and you sweat it's like I was like I don't work out with my clients I'm not sweating all day but she yeah I'm wondering

what gets your pores small what's she doing it's the micro needle it's like it's literally this roller of needles she goes

I think you'd like it because it's kind of painful yeah I like pain and so she rolls it all over your face and adds like a how much is your facial I don't think my husband listens to this it's honestly like So she rolls it all over your face and adds like a stem cell serum. How much is your facial?

I don't think my husband listens to this. It's honestly like each treatment is like $2.30. But I usually get an eyebrow tint. And like sometimes I get a lash tint because I'm a blonde. And you go once a month? Every five weeks. I was going once a month, but I was like, I need to go five weeks. So I feel like that's less.

I feel like I'm stretching it out more. Ten times a year. Yeah. But like during quarantine, when I stopped doing it, I just started at January 2020 when I turned 36. So when I stopped during quarantine, I noticed a difference in how I just like looked. I mean, it's fine to look how you are are but I noticed a difference in my skin Noah do you go to get facials

yeah actually a bestie helped me find my esthetician here in Tucson bestie with an estie will a bestie write me and find me an esthetician in St. Louis who won't talk to me a mime do you talk to yours the whole time?

We talk a lot, but I also look, I look for, I actually like talking. It's a part, it's part of my life where it's like, I'm the patient versus like me being the trainer and the client. Like I get to,

I lay down and I unload. I'm like, Oh my gosh, this week's been crazy. But days when I don't feel like talking, I just lay down and I go. I actually do have a really good esthetician here that I need to call up.

And she doesn't talk to me. And I should go see her again. But it's kind of nice to talk. Yeah, it's just hard to find time on my schedule to go see this person. You were getting facials a good amount though and you didn't like it, right? Yeah, because I was always trying to go

to someone new in New York. And they were always like, what is wrong with you? Who have you been going to? And then they would shit talk the person before you. Yeah. And that's why when Kirsten had one little facial thing here in St. Louis, when she went to her girl, she was like,

they really fucked up this part. I'm like, they always have to blame the person before. They always have to go, what did you do? Oh, God. No, my eyebrow got Bert and Ernie. Don't your hairstylist do that too, probably? Yes, every single day.

Who layered this, probably? So who did your hair last time? Yeah, they really made some weird choices. And you're just like, I know, throw them under the bus. But Nikki, I think you'd like going to an esthetician who gives you, the reason I like mine, I'm not trying to plug Amber, but she gives me results. Like I go in, I'm not going to like get relaxed like the emoji on the spa emoji.

I want it to be a nice experience and pleasant, not like a waterboarding, but I want results. I want to instantly look and go, this looks better for what I paid for. I don't want to just go to have it be something on my schedule. Yeah. No, I want to look forward to it too. I love going to get a facial because it can be very relaxing. And I'm friends with the girl that does mine. She just had a baby though. And it's just like I know that I'll have to look at pictures of babies and stuff.

And I actually would be excited to see her baby. She's a cute girl. And I'm always interested in – the thing is I She's a cute girl, and I'm always interested in her. The thing is, I always complain about, oh, a hairstylist, they talk to me about their lives and blah, blah, blah. I always enjoy the conversation I have when I end up being there. That doesn't mean that I still want to do it, though. You know what I'm saying?

You could dread something, and then even if you know that, it actually won't be as bad as you're dreading. Because I could fill my life with hanging out with my best friends. And you could never say in one of those circumstances that I'm with someone that I don't like. It's just that even being with you yesterday, Kirsten, I felt guilty being like, I need to be alone. Even though all I do, if I want to be around anyone, it's you. But that doesn't mean that I want it all the time like it's okay to not want it even if you like that person but sometimes when I go get my hair

done I just I say that I want to just use this time to be on my phone and listen to music and like meditate and then she starts talking about her stepdaughter and the party that her stepdaughter went to where a girl was date raped or whatever it is, and I'm like, then I'm like, wait, I need to hear about this, and I get so, and then we have an amazing conversation about what it's like to be a young woman, and then I'm fired up,

and I feel inspired, and I've just heard this story from a person whose life is so different than mine, and I feel. Sounds horrible. No, it feels, it's great. Just kidding. But I just talk the whole time,

and it's like i can't do that i have to take myself out of those situations so you know but then you you risk looking like such an asshole but some treatments are so pain like the micro needle is painful i'm literally laying there i'm like i'm like tell me about okay so like let's talk to this versus i'm not like zoning out like same with the workout like sometimes my clients come in and they're like I'm just I'm just getting by today I'm like okay it's like we're not gonna like I'm not talking I'm yeah it's easier for me to just coach you honestly versus like oh like react and then how many have I done it's like well what do you want the advice about your

ex-husband or you want me to like focus on your? How can we meet that halfway? Well, maybe talk about the ex-husband will make her work out harder. You know what I mean? Like sometimes revenge body. Yeah, revenge body. That damn revenge body. Let's get to the news. Apparently. We just made Kirsten watch, apparently.

By the way, I got a shit ton of messages about that. Yeah, to our Instagram. We got a whole bunch of the girl who dressed like the Apparently Kid. That's such a good costume idea. I don't know why I said costume. I don't know either, but I was excited about it. Costume. Costume.

Custodian. You said it like custodian. Costume. All right, let's play the stinger. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, apparently Andrew has the news

for us, and apparently... That's good. Thank you. Apparently, I went on the ride and it went round and round, and apparently my dad watches the evening news. My grandpa. Oh yeah, my grandpa. Which makes it even better for me.

And it freaks me out! Ah! Dude, that was good. Oh, yeah, my grandpa. Which makes it even better for me. And it freaks me out. Dude, that was good. Thanks, man. It's Monday. You know what that means, folks. It's Monday. I hope you're having all the swells out there.

And if you're not, well. Just kidding. Hope you're having all the swells. What'd you say, Kristen? These are the leggings I'm going to give you. Oh, I love them. Why aren't you going to keep them? Well, now that I have them on, I think I might keep them. No!

Okay, good. Sorry. All right, I guess that's the first story. Yeah. All right, Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson hold hands on a roller coaster. They're just friends, sources say. Is there more? Is there more? Is there more?

Of course there's more. Yes, this is... They kissed on Saturday Night Live, apparently. Apparently, they locked lips on Saturday Night Live in a sketch. And they looked really cute and nervous when they did it. That is based on a Reddit comment I saw on the Dunois subreddit. Yeah, I am not surprised at this. I think friends can hold hands, though.

They are not friends. Why does he need a friend? I'm out of touch. Kim Kardashian. He needs a friend. He needs a hot, gorgeous friend. I don't know. Who is like, I just want to be friends with Kim Kardashian?

Like, I wouldn't even want to just be friends with her. Like, I would want more. Do that. No, this is obviously it's very difficult to get inside her circle i bet it's probably almost impossible so if you get in there the probability of you hooking up with her it's probably pretty good because it's hard to just get through the wall and he gets hot girls he has like a great track record i mean it's even more ridiculous than what you even say. Yeah.

It's amazing what he does. That's what I'm so sure of. I can't believe he's someone that I... It's amazing. I mean, listen to this list. I mean, we know the list, but it's just... Kate Beckinsale, Ariana Grande, Kaya Gerber, Martha Qualley.

Yes. Margaret Qualley. Margaret Qualley. Margaret Qualley. Phoebe Denevore. I don't know who that... Oh, yeah, from Bridgerton. Kaylee Cuoco. Ariana Grande. Kazzy David. He started with Kazzy David.

Everyone's like, whoa, he's dating Larry David's daughter. Who knew that was just a start? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think he's definitely gonna be fucking Kim Kardashian. I don't think she bangs right away, but he's definitely gonna be fucking kim kardashian i don't think she bangs right away but he's gonna he's gonna hang in there for whatever is like what makes you think she doesn't bang right away i don't know i just don't i don't i don't think she does i think she like really uh coming off a divorce i feel like you want to get it in she's a mom and

she probably when you're i think when you're an older woman like that you just don't I think she's just someone like you'd think that Paris Hilton bangs right away but Paris is very good about not having sex too soon yeah the older you get the more you just value your own heart and I think I can see that in Kim I don't know her very well I don't think

she just gets she like she has a lot of self-esteem I don't think she gives it away too soon yeah and she doesn't need anybody honestly she's gets, she like, she has a lot of self-esteem. I don't think she gives it away too soon. Yeah, and she doesn't need anybody. Yeah. Honestly, she's got everything she probably needs, so. Yeah.

But she is breaking up with Kanye because of pretty much his mental illness and his narcissism and stuff, and Pete seems to have some, he deals with that as well. He was actually talking about Kanye on SNL. Did you ever see that one? Mm-hmm.

Where he talks about how you could be mentally ill, but that doesn't give you any excuse to be an asshole essentially she really liked that a little bit yeah I know I think she probably

watched that and got a little horned up yeah that would be something that would get you just because you break up with someone like he put exactly

in the words what she wanted to say about her husband yes he knows how to work it that's cool and I bet you anything Kanye was so pissed

about that and she listened to so much of him bitching about Pete Davidson. And so it's just the perfect person to date to kind of stick it to him. Yeah. Now we get it. I think that, yeah, I get what's going on here.

And Pete, knowing Pete as much as I know him, he's sweet. Yeah. He's kind. He's funny. And he's just a nice and he doesn't i don't think people think that he thinks he's cool i never have gotten that sense from him and hanging out with him he was really nice to me i didn't know him yeah and he came off like insanely like complimentary and nice and like reserved yeah that goes a long way we were talking about

this the other day with noah i think like how you you think women are drawn to like supermodel muscle man it's like end of the day personality kindness being cute and having like a good smile goes miles and that's probably your girl and Funny He's funny. Yeah, and funny and just being secure. Well, you were saying how like an F-boy, a fuck-boy, whatever,

isn't necessarily a guy that fucks a ton of girls. It's a guy that's an asshole about fucking a ton of girls. Yeah, a liar.

So he is kind of he's so honest Yes. that it gets him a lot of girls. Yes. But is he an asshole for going through so many girls?

You know what I mean? Like, that's like the rub of like, you could be a nice guy and still fucking leave a lot of women. He hasn't left them. What if they just mutually were like, I'm not that into it anymore. Like, I don't think he's left a wake of broken-hearted women. What if they're F girls? Huh?

What if they're F girls? There are. You're right, though. I do think that he's very honest. I just see so many comedians that aren't. I think he's very much like, yeah, this is what I struggle with

and this is what I've been through. Yeah, I just, I'm bipolar and that guy's an ass. Hearing him on Howard and stuff, he he's not he is not trying yeah he has a lot of tattoos and he has a look and he wears cool clothes everyone's trying to be a little bit cool but i don't think he's actually getting his tats removed really all of them yeah all of them i mean that's what he's tabula rasa he said it actually hurts more than getting the tattoo. But he likes the process.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it must be a cool process to get. It's almost as, as cool as getting it. Yeah. I mean.

I don't think it's, I think that's like, it's like taking off all the bumper stickers off your 1998 Toyota Camry. Not you, but like. That's not cool?

It's like getting, it's like having a old car that has like bumper stickers. Like I'm doing the bumper sticker thing and then having to scrape them all off oh and the tape

still stays on there it is hell sell it as is I do love old tattoos and just being like this was a lot of mistakes but if you have the money and you actually enjoy

the pain which is a lot of why people get tattoos in the first place is they like that pain watch him get them back on after he gets them all off

because he's like I have to keep the pain process out. Well, apparently, he's an actor now and he wants to be a serious actor, I assume, as he gets older. He doesn't want to wear body makeup.

To cover up the tattoos takes like, he has to get there like five hours ahead of time. Yeah. Oh, I see where that's going you can just get a micro needle facial and then get the pain and that's true no but then i'll start the tattoo oh yeah yeah there's the issue okay i i'm i approve of this uh you know i think it'd be great i i think though it's it's you know her they're not trying to keep it secret the fact

that they're trying to be friends is just to protect Kanye. And she's maybe kind of scared of what he will say and do. And, but they are definitely more than friends. Wouldn't you love it? And they'll be dating soon. They'll be like full blown couple. What if she became Kim Davidson? Like how basic is that?

Kim Davidson. You know who that is, right? She ain't getting rid of Kardashian. I know. He'll become Pete Kardashian. I think it's the first white guy. Wait, no, Kourtney's dating Travis. Kourtney's dated Scott and Travis.

But I think it's like the first white guy that, you know, either her, Chloe or Kylie or Kendall has like been with. You know? Well, that one dude, he was half white. Chris, her husband. Humphries? Yeah, I think. Yeah. i don't know i don't know no i mean it's just a remark no judgment there but i didn't even realize that that

oh like that's how much i don't see color i hadn't even realized it but someone said that on the subreddit that's why i was like oh is he interesting he? Interesting. I mean, I guess. All right. Next story. Apparently, a 14-year-old boy suffers horrific third-degree burns after attempting the Squid Game Honeycomb Challenge. What's the Honeycomb Challenge? So the Honeycomb Challenge was a challenge in Squid Game where they're given a honeycomb that's a thin thing like this. And then there's an umbrella in it or like some kind of object. There's a shape.

A shape inside it. And then they have to use a little pin and get the shape perfectly cut out without cracking the skinny honeycomb. Okay. So the kid burned himself by trying to make honeycomb. But burn with what? The honey? So he put in like a bunch of like ingredients into a non-microwavable cup,

put it in the microwave. When he took the cup out, it exploded and just burnt his leg. Okay, well that's not the honeycomb challenge. That's just an idiot not knowing how to... Like pushing too many... He was adding an extra zero on two minutes. He was heating that honeycomb up. He did 20 minutes.

I don't even understand that. How many kids burn themselves with... I mean, that's awful. I'm so sorry for the kid, but. I mean, in this day and age, I bet you don't go, we can't have another squid game because kids are burning. One kid burned himself in New Zealand. So is squid game a lot like Saw where there are challenges and like you die if you don't win?

Like they die. They could die. I hate that. Hundreds die. Hundreds? Hundreds. On the show. Wait, what? Yes. Wait, tell me why. I mean, I don't want to. This is way more interesting than your golf club thing. If anyone hasn't seen Squid Game, I love

hearing like, Squid Game. So I just hit my ping driver. I got home, put on Squid Game. Back to golf. No, so it started with like 450 contestants. And the very first first game so they're all you know in debt they're all they're all in body suits or something like they're in well yeah they're only spandex well the people that are where they get those it's so funny to try to like if i tried to describe squid game knowing what i know which is literally just memes. You should. So what do you think happens? There's 450

guys and girls. 450 people. I just learned that from you. I wouldn't have known that. Down and out. In spandex, like Power Rangers suits. No, the bad guys are in Power Rangers suits. But who are all the people?

The good guys are just in regular clothes. No, they're in janitorial clothes with numbers on them. Costumes? Huh? Costumes? Costuniums. Okay. So then, and they all are, they have different challenges to win money.

And some of them involve like hitting, throwing a ball on the floor and trying to open an envelope and if you don't get it you get slapped in the face and if you do get it you get money i've just seen that one okay and then you get the money and then you go deliver it to an old woman in a um like a like a roadside shack and then, and then that's all I know. I only saw one scene of a woman watching out a plane. I had a client, he was like, oh,

great new show. you, you and Corey gotta watch it. I was like, what's it about? He's like, so it's like all these people, it's like a challenge.

It's really gory and it's really scary to watch. I'm like, not watching it. No. I'm not doing it. Corey, no, no Corey, no gory. Corey, no doing it. Corey, no Corey, no Gory. Corey, no Gory.

Corey, no Gory. Corey will watch anything. He'll watch like heads explode and stuff. The very first scene. Not first scene, first game. It's red light, green light. And it's this like Asian doll. It's gigantic and it's turning around

and it has eyes inside it that see. And if you go, you know, green light and you run and then if you don't completely stop at red light, you're just shot and killed. So then they didn't know they were getting killed. Wait, they don't know? Well, until that very moment. And the next thing you know, literally 200 of them,

or 250 get shot and killed. And that's how the game starts. And everyone's like, what? Is it in the future or is it now? I think it's now. And so how do they all get shot? People just shoot. People come out and shoot them?

Yeah, they're just shooting them from holes in the wall. The guys in the Power Ranger suits. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's just so violent. I can't. It is, but it's violent in a way that it doesn't feel violent. I don't know why.

Like you literally see a bullet go through someone's head and blood. But then you're like, huh. Yeah. Another handful of popcorn. What's the most gory thing that happens? I'm just picturing you in there just like, bullet. Oh, my God. I ate so much popcorn in bed last night.

Did you really? Oh, my God. Thank ate so much popcorn in bed last night. Did you really? Oh, my God. Thank you so much to Anna who sent popcorn to us from Kirkwood Pop Company. Birthday cake. Anyways. Did you eat the birthday cake? I ate the cookies and the caramel. You were having some this morning for breakfast.

Gotta get in there. You know what? You said more. Don't. Please don't. But do as well. I think what? You said more. Don't. Please don't. But do as well. I think we gotta go to break apparently.

Okay. We're gonna go to break and then we're gonna come back with more. I wanna know more about Squid Game. We gotta come back with Why Do I Care.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on

today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radioRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding.

I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery.

The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen.

I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place,aping. They're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party. That's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that

stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was

doing. She was like, oh dad, all I was doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network,

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin of the Kingdom Third. And together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilberger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Each week, we'll sit down with inspiring figures like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. And their plus one, their ride or die, as they share stories never heard before about their remarkable journey. Listen to My Legacy starting January 20th on MLK Day

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why do I care? Why do I care? While we were away, Kirsten told us a quick hack. Yeah, if you have Invisalign trays, you can eat popcorn and apparently not get... Apparently, it doesn't... In the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in up in the body it's an ayurvedic thing in the fall in the winter when it's cold out or even just in general eating popcorn is very airy and it can be hard someone call you um in my people are gonna hear this and they're gonna know about are you like a a unpretentious hippie

what did they say something hippie unpretentious hippie i i like that i mean i'm not trying to be like i am so into this thing. No, but that's the perfect description for you. Popcorn can give me anxiety. I'll just tell you that. Why do I care? For his 35th birthday, Drake buys himself a $5.5 million watch. Let's see this stupid thing.

It is so stupid. Look at this watch. It's not even good looking. That's five houses. It looks like a mold spore. Yeah. Oh my God. It looks like a mold spore on hummus.

You can see the inside of it. It's not even finished. It looks like one of those invisible phones that girls had in the 80s. It looks like a Swatch watch, like fucked a transformer. It looks like something you'd buy in that machine that goes, looks like an ashtray with a bunch of cigarette ashes in it. I mean.

It's bad. That's so sad about how many people that could feed, clothe, and shelter. I mean, you're so right. I mean, I know you can buy what you want if you've got the money for it, but I mean, wouldn't you really think about how many if you've got the money for it, but I mean, wouldn't you really think about how many people could go get like an education? I don't know.

I guess it just makes you think like, and who's putting the stuff out there. It's him saying, I bought this. It's like, not really for him. It's for us to talk about. It's for this conversation.

Kim Kardashian's photo with her and Pete Davidson that leaked on purpose. That wasn't like someone took a picture of the roller coaster shot of them off the screen. But we buy into it and we say, hey, they're dating. And then we also say, hey, Drake is the number one rapper. Yeah, and we're talking about it right now. Yeah. So we're part of the problem. They got us.

That's so expensive. I will say that blowjobs with Invisalign also, it rounds your teeth, the bottoms of your teeth, so that it doesn't scrape them. I love the Invisalign Reddit. There's so many weird things. Have they ever talked about blowjobs on there? Oh, yeah. People are like, this is crazy. But yeah, there's so many funny things you can relate to people who are doing it, too.

I love that's how an orthodontist, like, oh, you're 16-year-old? You want regular braces or blowjob braces. BJBs. You would not think that leaving in your and it only I only discovered that on you know accident. Yeah. It's yeah when I accidentally fell on a penis

with my mouth. Yeah I accidentally ate a penis. You're eating a banana. And it didn't and it didn't apparently it didn't scrape it and you can really like chomp down not chomp down but like give it pressure and it doesn't have that like your teeth have like a really sharp point but invisalign rounds them out i don't think i've ever felt teeth on a but maybe my penis isn't wide enough but i've never like been like fuck oh no really yeah you don't really feel. I don't know.

Oh my God. Well, that is nice to hear. Maybe it's an old wives tale. Honestly. Because that's always such a concern of mine. Yeah, I really feel like guys. I've never had a conversation with a guy in my life. Too much teeth.

Really? I swear to God. Why do we all think this as girls? I like Nikki's joke where you have to turn into an old turtle to do yeah you look like your dad wow because he looks like a turtle oh don't say that i really get hurt when people say i look like my dad i meant it as he was he's a turtle yeah i know what you mean it's i look like my dad it's fine i'm just accepting it as he's a turtle. Yeah, I know what you mean. I look like my dad. It's fine. I'm just accepting it as I age.

You look like your mom and your dad. Oh, thank you for throwing that in there, too. Because you go, no, you look like your mom and your dad. You look like your dad and a little bit of your mom. Mostly your dad, but a little bit of your mom. No, seriously, you look like your mom, but mostly your dad. Mom's like 10%, dad's like 90%. Okay, let's get to top one, bottom one.

Today's category is road trips. Road trips. Woo, road trips. Top road trip, bottom road trip. Kirsten, kick us off with your worst road trip. Kirsten almost told me the story this morning when we were walking Luigi. Worst road trip. And I go, please save it for the podcast.

And she's like, I think my best one was probably, and I'm like, save it for the podcast. Sorry, I just want to talk to you. She's normal human yeah i know that's true yeah so um worst road trip was flying into la and driving out to palm springs we left la like two like midwestern idiots everyone will laugh who lives there we left la departing, departing east at like three o'clock on a Friday. We were driving 20 miles an hour for five and a half hours, which should have took two. And I thought, I, we almost got divorced. Really? We got rear-ended once.

Like it, it was hell. We were going so slowly the whole time. We were just like, and we were stuck in traffic and by the time we got there we were just like we're at joshua tree but we don't even want to see were you just like fighting the whole time yeah because it was the reason we were we left because i wanted to go shopping air quotes and i wanted to do um like the shops in venice and then go to that how do you say that natural grocery store at your horn? Air One.

Air One. I was like milling about Air One, touching every item and like selecting snacks and Corey's like, we have to get going. I was like, 10 more minutes and that's the reason.

So I was just like shamed the whole way. I was like, and he was so mad and we were just both like so mad at each other. And then we arrived so late to our like

B&B in Joshua Tree. We couldn't even find it in the desert because it was dark. It's dark in the desert at night. Namaste. And then also, it's like you're going on a trip to relax. I know. That's the worst.

It's like when you're trying to relax. He was like, let's fly into Palm Springs. And I was being cheap. I was like, let's have lunch with our friend Beth. Oh, because you need that $2.30 for a facial. Jelena, wherever Jelena is, that fitness, whatever.

And he was like, why do we have to go in LA? This just makes no sense. It really doesn't. Next time we're, so whenever we're having like a bad. What made you go to

Palm Springs in the first place? I just like it because it's very like 50s and retro. How did you even know about it? Because my sister. Everything is always because Britta did it first.

Oh, okay. So Britta went for like a wine trip for her husband's company and all the mid-century modern houses and the vibe and it's so quiet. Have you been there? Yeah. I was there in July.

It was so hot. It's like silent town and it's all gay men. So wherever you go, you're just safe. No one looks at you. No men check you out. I don't even think I wore mascara. It was beautiful.

Oh, dude. So whenever Corey and I are like talking about a travel option or like getting in traffic, I just go, we're flying into Palm Springs because it's always just like

to avoid a fight, we're just going to fly. Yeah, there's so much fighting that is caused by road trips. I have a feeling that most of our road trips stories of the worst are going to be related to that. I think my worst

was really good though too but it was also my worst because when I was in LA, I lived in LA right out of college. We all know I was that PA for whatever. Anyway, so I had a mild overdose in new orleans off cocaine oh my god with a stripper and i don't know i can't feel my legs back in 400 bc when you were a dinosaur i seriously was like this all night then i did two gravity

tyranosaurus rex arms gravity and i was on a couch Like this Going I can't feel my body I can't I couldn't really feel my body My body was completely It was paralyzed I was paralyzed And I go to my buddy And I was like

I need to go to the hospital Having so much fun in New Orleans And he's like Hashtag beignets He's like stop being a pussy And then he takes me to the hospital He doesn't even He doesn't even come in with me

He goes later And he just drops me off You have with me. He goes, later. He just dropped me off. You have worse friends. He's like, later, bitch. Stop being a bitch. And I was like, I'm on a trip. Men are so bad doing that. I was like, I'm going in.

And then I walked in. I go, I think I'm having a heart attack. That's what I really did. I think I'm having a heart attack. And they're like, okay. They let me skip the line. Wait, where does this relate to a road trip? Oh, so I have the mild overdose.

You had a Norland's accent when you did that. You were like, I think I'm having a heart attack. They're like, did you have too many beignets? You had powdered sugar on your lips. They're like, you had too many beignets. That's cocaine. That's cocaine, bitch. That was too bad.

So three days later, I'm in the heart ward. Heart ward. Heart ward. And they put blood thinner into my stomach. They just shoot it into my stomach. And they said I had a heart murmur. I didn't have a heart attack. That does sound like what your heart would do

instead of attacking. It would just be like murmur. Yeah, your heart's like murmur. Even my heart attack is lazy. Yeah, an attack would be like, yeah! Let's go, let's work, let's get a special.

It's like you woke your heart up, like, I'm fine, just live in it. Heart murmurs like, mwawawaw. So anyways, I go back to Florida because it cost me it would cost me eight thousand dollars i had no money at the time and uh i had to fly with my little brother to la to get my car because i was

i was done in la because i had no money yeah and my dad was like yeah what are you doing and so i had to drive back from California to Florida. And it was depressing because I failed miserably. And you had almost had a heart attack. Yeah, I tried many times. Wait, you had that in Florida? In New Orleans. In New Orleans.

New Orleans, down there with the beignets. And then you were just visiting. You were a cool LA boy going to New Orleans, but then after that you were just Florida boy. Well, I went to school at Tulane, so and my friends were got back together to like have a reunion the year after we graduated oh my god and so then I went back to LA got my car drove back my little brother and it's a long drive obviously like especially when you're thinking about how much you just failed and had a mild overdose and i lied to my parents i think my dad knew it was probably like cocaine or like i don't know he was pretty cool about like not going in on me about like having like an intervention

or just neglectful or in denial or didn't care about you we could look at it either yeah it sounded like he was pretty cool about his son almost dying of an overdose but not saying anything that's pretty cool been a overdose he was so chill about me dying yeah you're the coolest dad that like didn't show any concern that you went to the hospital and had a heart attack hey he was busy dude yeah dude and you were like 22 had a heart attack no big deal it was mild it was a murmur you had the coolest dad so chill so anyways i uh i drove back and uh we were like we're gonna make it a golf trip and then we went and played golf at this place called the phoenician in arizona and it was like 300 so we spent all our money on one trip around but i shot a 39 on the back whatever for

the golfers and uh then we just drove back home like it was like it was like gonna be this golf okay yeah uh noah worst worst road trip my worst road trip was um i think i was like 14 and my mom my brother and my little sister and i were driving down to Florida to Disney World. And it was just 20 hours of pure hell in the car fighting. Why wasn't it hell? Why didn't the fight start? I don't know. It's so funny.

My brother and my mom are just so hard-headed. And they were both driving they like kept you know like um they would change uh like driving responsibilities and i just remember like we're gonna just die there's gonna be explosive road rage happening at any moment when you got to disney was it fun fun or no no none of it none of it was fun what about you my worst one was as a kid we would go back home to cincinnati we moved to st louis when i was six and um cincinnati was where like our whole family was and one time my dad couldn't go back for work so my mom just drove me and my sister and i was probably like six and a half and my sister was like four and we drove and there was a huge storm and I got really sick I had like I remember getting a

really bad fever and we couldn't make it through the night because it was storming and my mom later told me that a truck driver was masturbating next to her at one point during this trip and was like hey look at this and like lifted his dick up so she could see and we're like in the car with her humble brag I want to hear your mom's impression of saying that and when she said and was like, hey, look at this, and lifted his dick up so she could see, and we're in the car with her. Humble brag. I want to hear your mom's impression of saying that. She was amazed at me. When she later told me that,

it was just when we got to Cincinnati. I was still six. It was gross. I'm just kidding. It was when I was an adult. She was like, it was a bad trip. But I remember the times in my life where I was like, I remember just being sad for my parents,

knowing we couldn't afford things, i remember just being sad for my parents knowing like we couldn't afford things and like being just so embarrassed for them yeah and i remember and being scared because i could sense my parents fear at times but they would try to be brave but i could just very like i was very perceptive like i look back on times that my parents say like something happened i'm like i knew it like there was something in my soul that knew something terrible was wrong and um we stopped i was i was having a fever and my mom you know this is before cell phones and everything we went to this like motel that was so disgusting and i remember thinking like i can't believe we're staying like it was one of the ones where you have to go to the front desk that's like yeah in a parking lot and then they give you it's like a they always have

a bell on the front it was yeah they're sleeping in the back it was like schitt's schitt's creek kind of hotel and went to this room and i remember like just feeling delirious and just telling my mom like i woke up in the middle of the night like feverish my mom thought i was gonna like die because i had like a really really bad fever and i was saying weird things and i just remember telling her like you're playing me like a barbie her like you're playing me like a Barbie doll mom you're playing me like a Barbie doll and I just felt

I just remember saying it I remember feeling it and I didn't know what it meant but it like made a lot of sense to me and she thought I was gonna die in the middle of the night it was just horrific and like very scary and was just it felt like we were on our own.

And I know my mom was so scared and she was so young. My mom was 31. You were going to die. Like if you were like a failed comedian, like just of a fever and a shitty motel. Yes. You like knew your mom was young and that she was scared. Yes.

I wonder what the Barbie, like a Barbie doll. Like I just felt like your mom, you're not, you're not, you're not like being like what didn play me like a Barbie doll Like I just felt like Your mom It's a great lyric You're not You're not like being Like what didn't feel Like a mom

That's deeper You're just playing me Like a Barbie doll mom Like I'm Like it was really weird But I remember it made So much like poetic sense To me at the time

Especially at six Okay Best road trip Kirsten I think one of the best Was A group of girls from high school Hala Hala's dad was our principal

and like three other girls who we weren't friends with anymore but we drove all the way to field hockey camp at Princeton in New Jersey and then her dad took us to like we all got in a van and drove out to this field hockey camp and then we went to new york

city for the first time i'm so when on the today show like we held up a sign oh i'm so jealous and then on the way out there we got stuck it was epic we got stuck on the pennsylvania turnpike for like three hours just sitting which now as an adult i would be like hell but we got out and everyone was like camping out and offering beverages to people and going from like car to car because it was a huge accident it just shut the whole lobby down and that was just like that was between senior and senior year yeah yeah you guys were still playing field hockey it was so fun but yeah we went to this field hockey camp and it was just awesome fun like I was so chill. Because I wasn't good at sports.

FOMO. But it was an epic. I've never been on a highway that was shut down like that. Oh, yeah. That's fun, kind of. It's scary. And then when it started going, we were going like everyone was 10 miles an hour. Everyone was just walking with cars.

It was like apocalyptic. What about you, Andrew? I feel like we always have to be like, it when we were kids it was literally just recently yeah a trip from uh durham to charleston with my brother my little brother again uh he came to the show in durham that you know and then uh we met my dad and my brother in charleston and then had a great show that night yeah and the drive was great i got bo jangles for the first time ever which which was fucking amazing. And it was just like a simple road trip. It was only like five hours.

It wasn't like a crazy road trip. But it was just like going to see, because I haven't seen my brothers or my dad in a long time. And we had an amazing trip. And I don't know. It was just nice. What did you guys talk about? Me and my brother. Basically, we went live and just talked shit

about the different cars on the road there was this one guy with a very little u-haul i'm like oh look at your little u-haul like he only had it wasn't like the truck u-haul it was the one the state was rhode island like it was just on the back like you know a trailer u-haul which is like what are you it's the same way i feel about when people check a bag when you are at the baggage claim and a little tiny like knapsack comes through and you're like why what what are you putting in this little knapsack running away just like there's this video on tiktok yeah like a bindle stick comes yeah there's a video on tiktok of a guy making fun of a ladder like a four you know forerunners the cars yeah they

have these little ladders that go for that oh look at your little wadder oh yeah you have a wadder to get up to your wolf tiny little wadder it's like so funny like you couldn't just climb literally three ladders it's the funniest it's just such a little wadder and it's on a car that's like a full run yeah Yeah, full run. If you're so tough, just climb up. Anyways, but yeah, that was a great trip. Noah, best road trip. Best road trip was

October of 2020. We drove across the Southwest from Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Arizona, and ended up in Joshua Tree. And I got engaged. i fell in love with the southwest which i had never been to before and is the reason why i moved here so that's right i would say that was the best road trip did you fly into colorado yeah we flew into denver rented a car and then just drove the rest of the way. Oh, that's lovely. That's awesome. My best road trip was...

That's a good way to get married, by the way. Do a road trip with whoever you're thinking about. And if you can make it five states, you're the one. Yeah. So final thought. My best road trip was the one I took from Kansas City to Chicago when we auditioned for Last Coming Standing, me and a bunch of Kansas City comics in 2006.

This is the first time you were on it? Yeah, yeah. How old were you? 21. What are your thoughts? Are you nervous? Are you like, do I have enough jokes? Are my jokes going to –

I wasn't going to audition. I was just like, I'm just going to go for the fun because I knew that I wasn't good enough to make it on a TV show. I've been doing comedy a year and a half. Why would I audition for the show? I like this because a lot of people would be like, I'm ready for this show. I'm ready.

No, I was like, no. This would be delusional for me to think that I would make it on the show. How many people auditioned? Like hundreds and hundreds. It was in Chicago and it was all like, people waited outside in line. and it was all like people waited outside in line but it was so fun because sorry how many people were on the road trip like nine

we rented a van we had a guy that had a hookup at a like a rental place one of the guys had a worked at a hotel and so he got us hotel rooms in chicago for like cheap enough and it was just one of those things that was like me and yeah, like it was seven or eight guys and me and we all went in this big passenger van and drove up there. We listened to Patton Oswalt's album, feeling kind of Patton. And we got like,

so we were just listening to good comedy albums, laughing so hard. It was so fun. And by the time we got there, they were like, Nikki, just do it. Like you're here.

We have, you know, what else are you going to do tomorrow in Chicago? nikki just do it like you're here we have you know what else are you gonna do tomorrow in chicago just just do it and i only did it because i was like i just want them to say i have promise you know like i don't want to get on the show but i just don't want to i don't want to have one of those america like american idol like gag reel auditions where they just show you like william hunging it yeah i just wanted them to say like good job you know like oh you're i see something in her yeah i just wanted to

like have confirmation that i was on the right track and then yeah auditioned and and uh that's and yeah they said i was too young and and thanks for trying and like come back again next time and then when i was walking off stage they were like i really liked her and the when i was walking off stage they were like i really liked

her and the other guy was like well i mean i could be convinced and i just ran back up on stage and was like you want to hear another joke and they were like yeah and i told another joke and they were like we'll see you tonight it was um uh they you know they put a different joke in on the the airing of it of what actually why i'll tell you why because the joke i told was is your first joke no this was i auditioned i did like two minutes and then they were like it was really good how long you been doing it and i said two years even though i'd been one and they were like yeah you're just it's it's just you haven't been doing it long enough but it was really good and i was like perfect you know like oh good that's exactly what i wanted and i was like shaking because i was so cold because you had to wait

outside and it was like a blizzard that week it was so snowy and so cold in chicago it was in march and um and uh yeah and then i made it to the the evening show oh it was uh um i dated this black guy for a while, but I had to break up with him because he hit me. It wasn't his fault. I just didn't understand his complicated handshake. And that was, yeah. And they were like, funny.

All right, we'll see you tonight. And I was like, yes. And then I was like, what the fuck? Like, what am I going to do? And then I remember going to Starbucks after that and I cut my hand on the door and there was this, it's still there, that cut right there oh it's still there that's from that's from the day i got on last time i was standing i remember being like i'll probably have a scar

from that because it was so deep and um and then i that night i was like what the fuck am i gonna do like i don't even have any material and i remember ironing my shirt and trying to think of any jokes because i always think of my best jokes when I'm like under the gun and I was going to the show that night and I was like, and then I thought of the joke of my mom, you know, calls me drunk and she's like, I love you so much.

You're the greatest daughter in the world. And then she'll always call me the next day and be like, Nikki, I'm so sorry for what I said last night. I was drunk. I didn't mean any of it. And I thought, I remember calling my parents and being like, is that and they were like yes and i was like okay i'm

just gonna do it because i have nothing else and then um yeah and then i was one of 30 that performed that night and then uh i was the third person that made it through and got to go to hollywood and got the red envelope and it was-liner? No. Oh. You did like five minutes. Oh. But did you do the same? No. Oh. Different material. And then, but I was just desperate for jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just remember doing that joke. And then, yeah, and then I went to, and then we all went out afterwards and I got so drunk and I remember feeling so bad because there were just so many good comics that had been doing it way longer than me that were like bonafide headliners. I was barely, I was just, I wasn't even hosting in Kansas City. I was 21. It was like ridiculous. There's something about that like new comic – it just irradiates.

No, I got it because I was a young, cute girl that had good jokes. But I was nowhere near someone that should have been beat out these other guys. And it was embarrassing and they all knew it. John Roy made it through. Jerry D made it through. John Roy, I call it it to this day he was a dick to me that night because he just knew that i didn't deserve it and everyone knew it was like i was i was like the i always feel for young people or people who make it through on things or get opportunities when they don't deserve it it's like well are they supposed to turn it down and i remember

tommy john again telling me i should turn it down? And I remember Tommy John again telling me I should turn it down. Because I got invited to Hollywood and I remember talking to him because we were both young comics at the time. And he was like, I would turn it down. You're not. And I remember being like, I probably should.

But it was just because he's fucking jealous. Yeah, dude, you fucking do it. And so I always feel for people whenever they're like, this guy shouldn't have gotten that thing. And I'm like, but Comedy Central offered it to them. Should they turn it down? You would have done it.

They didn't trick anyone. I didn't trick anyone. I just asked for another joke. So shut up. I hate when fucking comics are just so high on their horse. Like, no, you should turn it. You're not ready for that. You're not ready.

You're not ready, dude. And I remember being in Kansas. Why are you ready? And I was shopping and ready for that. I wouldn't do that. You're not ready. You're not ready, dude. And I remember being in Why are you ready? in Kansas and I was shopping and I was on the phone with Tommy John again and he was like, I was in the produce department

and he was like, I wouldn't do it. I would turn it down. Did he get Pat? Did he get Santella? Eventually, like, you know, two years later,

he got on the show too. But, you know, maybe at the time he wouldn't have accepted it because we were very self-aware of like, we're not good enough. I knew I wasn't.

There was no part of me that was like, ha ha, I'm better i'll tell you one of the worst road trips though was that car ride back to kansas city with those nine comics who did not make it through and i did and i was so hung over the next day from drinking so much i was so sick we had to pull over on the highway and i was throwing up and they kept smoking inside and i go guys if you smoke if i breathe in smoke i'm gonna throwing up and they kept smoking inside and I go guys if you smoke if I breathe in smoke I'm gonna throw up and they kept smoking they didn't give a fuck about me because I got through and they did it yeah wow

that's a great story dude alright guys thank you for listening to the podcast today we'll be here all week on the Nikki Glaser podcast Kirsten will be here with us again tomorrow on Tuesday yeah don't be kuh and g yeah me off us again tomorrow on Tuesday. Yeah, don't be cut and me off. Jon Stewart is back

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