The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #146 Don't Brisket, Just Risk It

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Between you and Nikki, she's slowly finding clarity on a bad habit she wants to break. Nikki and Andrew discuss what they would be like at a College Bar and how much things have changed for them since their drinking days. You Heard It Here First, how to stay safe, brushing off other people's opinions and Nikki is so done with weed. In Nikki's Reddit Dump she unloads on a photo taken in bad taste, a celebrity who told the same joke once a year and kissing herself. In the Final Thought they call Emil Wakim to discuss a great pick up line. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships,

and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom

of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I

had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. I had to grab the lamp and smashed it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser podcast. Hi guys. I was just looking at my Instagram Noah and this girl that I follow posted a picture of

her thumb. Like when you flex your thumb, like giving a thumbs up and you look at the, there's an initial in the lines in your thumb where it bends. You can find an initial of like a letter and it's like, you can find the name of like the initial of the person that you're, you are in love with or something. Really? Yeah. Well, I think if you just look at your thumb lines enough you can get anything you want out of them this is a you

know kind of horoscope thing where you're just like oh my god it's so me but this girl really does have a k in her thumb and her husband's name is kevin but also what if her husband was chinese and the k is a symbol that doesn't look like a k you know what i mean this is all like the english alphabet yeah or you know i guess what's the alphabet i mean italians use the same alphabet oh yeah so i guess the latin yeah okay maybe that's it we don't know things on the show um do you see anything in your thumb i see an s but it's just because the squig the like the the lines in my i see an s and i don't have anyone in my life with an s name that's a bummer oh wait this thumb i'm seeing like a an x there's no people with a xavier i don't know what are you again what's your star

sign a torus what does it check out for you are you like pretty much you're a bull is it yeah stubborn and loyal stubborn and loyal okay yeah i would say that you're you're both those things do you worry about what people do? If someone doesn't like you, does it bother you? Because I went to therapy yesterday and was talking about being a people pleaser. And I'm going to a therapy session with someone that I'm seeing and I'm not even like official with but we're just seeing if we should be it's really interesting but we're talking about people pleasing because that's one of my character defects that this person it doesn't make them feel safe because

they think that I am not consistent and like you know I can say that I like someone and then or I can say that I don't like someone and then I'll post something promoting their album or whatever. And for me, I really work on being more consistent with my word. Like I'm less of a two-faced person than I used to be in the past. I think it was just a lot of insecurity. i when i say like oh god that person's so cool and then i end up like posting their album or liking them or or you know being kind to them when i see them i argue that someone can be good and i can still like them like people contain multitudes like i can really hate this thing about someone but i that doesn't mean that i don't think they're funny and want people to see their album and

and it's not even about and sometimes for me like I think that sometimes people pleasing or um you know being nice to people that are in positions of power can be interpreted as oh you know I I want something from them in terms of like they can give me some of like I'll get a role on their thing or I'll get a, they'll like me and they'll put me in something and I'll get more famous. And, um, that's not really why I ever people please. I, you generally people please or, um, am fakely nice to someone when I don't like them because I'm scared of them. It's more of fear, not of like missing out on the things they can give me but fear of them being mean to me what are you scared of in that situation if someone is mean to you um I'm scared they're

gonna say things about me that I that are gonna confirm my biggest fears about myself and then I will have to just like that I'll just then that thing that i've always secretly thought about me they're gonna they're they're usually type of person you know the people that i'm most scared of are usually these people that are are not scared to say to like tell you the truth you know and a lot of times it can be very cruel and i'm just scared of you know i'm scared of being of of upsetting someone to the point where they're like you're ugly like pretty much being called ugly or being called like untalented or a fraud all my deepest insecurities of like I'm truly this thing or like you know your face is sag just something mean

whose truth is that though like if if you are with a person and that person doesn't like you and their truth is to tell you what they think about you, which is probably a projection of themselves and what they think about themselves. Why is that the truth? Because I tend to, I think, value people's opinions when they're a type of like narcissist where they just seem like they know what's right. Like I sometimes, you know, I think based on not having a lot of self-esteem growing up, I just kind of deferred to people who had the confidence that they were right. And so I still have that in me that if someone, it's their truth and that's enough for me. You know, like if they think I'm ugly, whether or not it's true, it's true for them. And even if it isn't true for

them, at least they think it is. So, you know, subconsciously they might think they're ugly, yet they're telling me that I'm ugly, but both can be the same too. Like you can project things onto people and it can be true for them, even if it's a projection. So I think it's just having someone out there who – generally the people I'm most scared of are people that I know talk shit about people and can spread lies and opinions like wildfire and get their comments the most upvoted so the most people can see them. Like that's, that's generally why I don't want to comments, you know, on my YouTube clips, or I don't like to read YouTube comments because people's, people's opinions get formed based on those people's, the most outspoken people's opinions of you. So I think that's it. And I just wonder, do you, I wonder what's the difference between me wanting someone that i'm kind of scared of you know i've talked about this like i have nightmares that i'm nice to trump i'm scared of trump trump's like complete lack of empathy and his unbridled confidence and smugness

and self-assuredness that is intimidating to the masses and that can obviously influence the masses is terrifying to me. And I want him to like me, even though I hate him. I still want him to like me because I'm scared of what, if he does not like me, what that could do to my life and so there are a lot of people like Trump and I'm talking about narcissists who I seek their approval because I'm I'd rather them not notice me or like me but if they don't I don't want you know I think a lot of times you know this person and others too can see me be nice to people that I truly hate and they are like this is so inconsistent you're being nice to someone and it's like I'm just trying because I have to interact with this person I prefer it to be kind than for it to be negative because I don't want the brunt of what it is to be on their

shit list so I would prefer so I overcompensate by being nice if I could choose I would have zero interaction with this person and not exist to this person. But if I'm forced to interact with people that I do have strong opinions about in that way, I'm going to be super nice because I'm scared of them. Because I'm smart. Because sociopaths and narcissists are dangerous. And if they don't like you, you should be scared. Right. And they're all over i read a great book once called i think like the corporate psychopath yeah and i learned so much

about just like they're everywhere ceos or just like managers and and just people who you think are regular people who are actually psychopaths who are like at work you know yes could be in the cubicle next to you so the need to be liked is not so much a self-esteem issue as a self-preservation issue in my defense, you know? It probably goes back to like primitive, your primitive brain and survival and stuff. Yeah. And also knowing, you know,

let's say there's someone and I think what they've done is morally abhorrent and possibly illegal. And they've maybe they've been canceled for their actions and now they get uncanceled and now they're famous again. And I'm now I have to interact with that person because I either have to bring them on stage or I have to like see them in the hallways at the comedy place and I know the truth about them and they've been forgiven by society because we tend to forget those things and they weren't charged with anything or even if they were let's just say like I if I met Chris I don't like Chris Brown I don't like what he did I think he's a monster I think he's obviously went through a lot of childhood trauma that led him to be have anger issues that lead him to take

violent actions against women especially if i ran into him i i remember one time he was in the building that i was in and i was terrified because i was just like i don't want to i don't want to upset him because i'm scared of his anger i don't it's not because i want him to put me in a song and feature me so i can make millions of dollars i don't want to be i don't want to be in the same building as him so i don't know i'm getting defensive for no reason but i think that yeah and i feel like i didn't get like heard in the way that i needed to in terms of like i just don't want people thinking that i people please so that i can get roles in things. And this rich person will like me and they'll give me things and I'm going to be more famous.

I don't know. I just think that sometimes I'm really terrified of being misconstrued as a climber. I'm not nice to people who are famous so that I can get things. I mean, they're nice to them because I admire them and I want to be friends with them and be around them because they're interesting people and they're obviously famous because they're interesting. They just so happen to be famous. It's not so that I can feel famous or get something. When I've been put in things that people have given me over the year like I and you know I have a defense up of this of I'm writing a chapter for this book about it

and I'm writing about you know when I started getting success early on people would say it's because oh it's because that guy wants to fuck you that's why they gave you that thing or you got that thing because that guy you you did have a relationship with that guy so he offered you stage time i would always turn down stage time i didn't i don't take things unless i know that i can do a killer job at them you know barring dancing with the stars dancing with the stars i did agree to do even though i knew i would be struggling at it because it's part of the show that you struggle is built into it that you don't have to be required to be a good dancer. But if someone offered me, you know, early on in my career, when I would be offered by comics who

probably wanted to sleep with me, yes, there was a little bit of that. And they would offer me stage time, you know, like five minutes on my show, come do it, hang out. I'd go to hang out because I wanted to hang out and like be around comedians but I wouldn't accept the stage time because I wasn't good enough I was never delusional enough to think I deserved things I would take them if they were given to me and I would trust people going like no you are good enough but I would generally turn it down and I think I just get defensive when people think I'm doing things to like get famous or like get ahead. I've never done that. Honestly, I'd be much more successful if I accepted all the opportunities that have

been offered to me before I felt like I deserved them. I think a lot of women, like professional women, I think on all levels who, you know uh just pursue career i think they all kind of go through that especially in male dominated industries i know i felt that way as soon as you get things that people say it's only because men want to fuck you yeah oh because you look hot you know you they they just want to see you more they want to see your ass more stuff like that it's not about like it might also be my work listen it that might be true let's just be honest which is fine men do give women opportunities who they want to fuck but that doesn't mean that you're not all so talented both can be true exactly and that's what would bother

me is like yeah that guy i did i did have a crush on that guy and that guy did like me but i didn't i i'm still i'm still funny it doesn't take away that yeah and yes i've gotten opportunities because men have wanted to fuck me that there's no way that's not happened it's just the way it is that's happened am i supposed to turn down that work even though i know that i could do a killer job um no i won't turn it down if i can do a killer job have i turned it down when i know i can't do a killer job? You're damn right I have. Do I think every girl should turn down every opportunity if she thinks that maybe I will bomb this?

No. Take it. If a guy thinks he can fuck you and he gives you something, fucking take it. What an idiot. But that doesn't take away from the fact that you also might be talented enough. And, um, so I think both can be true. But I just, yeah, I'm struggling with this people pleasing thing because it's, you know, it seems to be an issue that, you know, I don't want, I hate the idea that someone thinks that I'm doing it so I can, I people please all the time,

but it's not to get things. And maybe it is to get things. It's to get a better life, you know, for me and my loved ones. Okay, let's say I've never done it, but let's say I do, you know, I flirt with someone to get a role or like I'm nice to someone

because they have a role in a movie that I want I want that role in the movie so maybe yes I can get more famous but not so people can like me I really don't give a fuck anymore about how many people like me I do care about the number of people that like me because it amounts to money more people like you more money you get and then that money I can use for when my parents get cancer and I can give them money so that they don't have to work. Like it all comes down to my parents getting old and being able to take care of them. It doesn't come down to me being like I can more people will think I'm hot. Isn't that a huge revelation, though? Because it sounds like the people pleasing is.

It's about survival. Yeah. And now what you just said right now, what you're afraid of about your parents, that's a revolution. I'm scared of my parents dying and being in a bad situation when they die or worrying about money when they die or, you know, someone in my family needing. I do everything. I'm motivated by money because money to me equals health and happiness for my family and my loved ones and you know the the charities I care about and and even for myself at times a lot of times you know um yes it means more Starbucks I get I spend upwards

of 30 on Starbucks a day sometimes that is not me being generous to the world but that's a me thing that i do indulge in and yes money buying money does go towards that so maybe some jobs i take to go okay let me write off my starbucks this year but um this whole notion of and if let's just say someone does people please because they want to be liked you know let, let's talk about cur. We can call cur things out. Does it mean those people are bad people? No. You know, if someone posts something on Instagram to get attention, let's go there. The most abhorrent thing that we all can think of is like someone being thirsty and just wanting sympathy or like wanting to look cool or wanting people to think they're special what is that really rooted in or should we hate those people

as much as we do is could should could cause us to hate people no wow could should honestly if we track it should make you go that's so sad that that person doesn't feel good enough that they can't just drive down the street without revving their engine. They are so insecure that they need to get attention by taking on this identity of, you know, they seek it through other ways.

I see them as misguided. Yeah. A misguided person. Misguided and in search of attention they want attention we have this disgust for people who want attention but truly it's just if you saw them as that baby crying and not getting their mom to come nurture them when they're screaming crying and they have shit in their pants and they've been left for hours because their mom is playing fucking solitaire on the computer.

Whatever neglect they suffered that led them to later rev their engine, you'd go, that poor person. But some reason when they rev their engine, we go, fuck you, you fucking loser. So, kuh still can be called out, and we should still go, kuh, because we want people to be more self-aware about when they're doing those sad things. And maybe go, I don't want to be a guy that's kuh. Why don't I look into why I'm actually doing this? And get to a place where I don't need to disrupt those around me to get this love that I wasn't met with as a child. So this doesn't take away from kuh. Let's still call out kuh.

But to hate people that are kuh, we don't need to do that. And anyone who we see on Instagram today that we're like, oh, my God, they want people to like them so much. So what? That doesn't mean they're bad. It means they're sad. Be sad for them. Don't be mad at them. And that's my final thought on that.

Let's get Andrew in here. Andrew! for them. Don't be mad at them. And that's my final thought on that. Let's get Andrew in here. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance

because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

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I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head.

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I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride, full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism,

fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeartWomen Sports. Hey, you guys, I'm Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet and i've got a new podcast it's called throttle therapy this season i'm gearing up to make history competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events starting at the indy 500 join me as i travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing i'm also

going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula One. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, Andrew. Good morning, Nick. Good morning. How you doing? Good morning. I like this look. Really? Yeah. This is a... Yeah, I love it. I don't even know what it is, Nick. Good morning. How you doing? Good morning. I like this look. Really? Yeah.

This is a... Yeah, I love it. I don't even know what it is, but I like it. I think it's my hair is in front of my ears. Yeah. With the pink hat and the black sweater. I don't know. You look cool. Yeah. Thank you. I told Nicky the same thing. I said, I like your look. I don't know what it is about this look

that is doing it. Yeah, I don't know. I have makeup on. I don't know. It's cool. Thank you. Just hip. Yeah, I don't know either. I have makeup on. I don't know. It's cool. Thank you. Hip. Thanks. Hip, hip, hip.

Hip, hip, hooray. Hip, hooray. Hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip. How'd you sleep? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. No dreams of Lil Jon, although he's always in my heart. You did almost steal his crunk cup. I know. We almost hung out with him again, too. I know. He was in Columbus when we were? Yeah. Yeah, you, me, and Andrew Santino was in Columbus, too.

And Andrew was going to hang out with Lil Jon. It was, didn't happen. No. I got excited, though. We did go out in Columbus, though. Yeah, we went to. That was the first time I've been out, like, ever. We went to, like, a bar with a college bar.

It was a very college bar. Yeah. It's weird, you know, neither one of us drink. So there's nothing more like a zoo than a college bar when you're not drinking. Like, I can't even imagine what i look like in college to someone that walked in who was 41 years old and not drunk yeah not drunk i mean i probably had my shirt tucked in my i loved it i felt invisible you know because you're not like a young hot thing so i felt like like i could just like people watch it was fun oh yeah it was a good it

was so loud though I just cannot like guys protect your ears start wearing um earplugs at at concerts and I can't believe people don't wear earplugs at concerts it makes me so worried for them if you were a college kid and you had earplugs in you would get thrown out of the party I would have done that had I even thought about it back then i would have done it i was very cautious but the those bars are so fucking loud and i think it's you know because drunk people are loud drunk people get so loud maybe because the music's so loud no no they're loud like you know you go to a restaurant there's a table of drunk people the screaming starts and it's i wonder what it is do you just get stupider i'm working on a new premise did you hear it last weekend i was talking about and i i feel like it's gonna really be a

good point about um you know one of the one of the things i always think about when i quit drinking and that's in that alan carr book that I always promote is that people say, oh, I need alcohol. It's liquid courage. It makes me a better version of myself. It makes me brave. It makes me be able to conquer social anxiety and all these things.

It was really made you brave. All alcohol does is make you dumb. It doesn't make you brave. You just do things that are dumb. Like, because your sense of don't do that, that little voice in your head that's telling you not to do things that are going to get you killed or get, you know, harm you, gets drunk. So you don't. So this whole thing of I'm more brave isn't real when you're drunk. If it was, firefighters would get loaded before they ran into a burning building.

That would be awesome, by the way. But why don't they then? Drinking alcohol really makes you brave. Why don't firefighters get drunk? Yeah, or like football players. Or surgeons. Or someone doing a thing that requires a lot of nerves.

It's because it doesn't make you brave. It makes you stupid. Alcohol does not. When you tell someone, when you get drunk and you tell someone like, I like you or whatever it is, you don't do that when you're not drunk because it's not a smart thing to do because your body is regulating like, hey, this is going to protect you.

This is not. And it makes drunkenness is on a of you know if you keep drinking you get all the way to full-blown the word you can't say dumb yeah very dumb i i yeah i i feel like when i when i used to drink it was uh definitely i guess to feel more brave a party, which is just me being able to say hello to a random girl. Like, that's my bravery. But you wouldn't even say the right thing.

No, but yeah, you wouldn't. It's, I guess, brave and, I guess, awareness. Bravery is conquering a fear, is overcoming the anxiety that you go, you know, if you're about to bungee jump and you're super scared, bravery and that or running into a burning building or doing something heroic that you know, you have anxiety about or public speaking, like I had to get over public speaking without drinking, like when people drink so they can go on stage, you're not getting a good performance, you're there, you're doling everything about yourself so that you can get past that thing

when you really conquer a fear that's when it's really brave because it's requires when it when you tell a person you like them or make a move on them or glean in for a first kiss this thing that is fraught with like and like you you're fraught with anxiety because you're like what if they reject me what if they don't like me well what requires you to get over that when you're like, what if they reject me? What if they don't like me? Well, what requires you to get over that when you're sober is that you like them enough, that you're willing to risk it. And that is true bravery. When you are willing to look fear in the face and say, I see you and I'm still going to do it.

That's bravery. Getting drunk enough so that fear doesn't even raise itself, that's not bravery. You're not overcoming anything. You're a loser. You're a loser. I don overcoming anything you're a loser i guess the well you're a loser i don't think you're a loser yes you i mean i think the argument i'm not saying you're a loser if you drink but like you are you you shouldn't be proud of that that you did nothing but i think the argument is that you put game genie on yourself if you have like five or seven

drinks i agree but if you're only doing one or two drinks and you're just a little bit looser, I think that's fine. I take Xanax sometimes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's the same thing. It's like a drug. But it's not – you shouldn't be proud of yourself. That's not – it's not real. Be proud of yourself if you ask for help and you go get a prescription for something that will take the edge off.

But you're – and if you have an anxiety disorder, we're talking about a different situation here. But if you're drinking so that you can get things done, you're capable of so much more and you're capable of feeling so much more about your decisions and the things you do on the other side of those very scary moments than if you just drink yourself to a place where you can do them. I'm with you except for the fact that I think that people that have a healthy relationship, I think you can have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

I know that sounds kind of like an oxymoron. I believe that. I think there's people out there that can fucking be insanely intelligent and maybe be not braver. I think the word brave is... But they're not drinking so that they can say something or dance a little bit. Maybe they are, though. Maybe they are.

Well, if they're doing that, then they. Well, they're doing it. To do the running man. But if they want to dance and the only way they can is to drink, you've got a problem. But if when they happen to drink, they just suddenly want to dance, that's different. But if you're like, I used to drink because I wanted to be more social and I wanted to have more friends and fit in and tell boys I like them and kiss boys and be able to hook up with guys. That didn't help me in my actual pursuit of intimacy, which is what I truly wanted. It actually made me not even present for those moments. I was able to have them, but when I quit drinking, what was waiting for me was not like,

oh good, I've got all that practice that I did. I got all those intimate moments while I was drunk that I got past it at one point. That meant nothing. All of those, I was still starting from square one, which it was still waiting for me when i quit drinking of the anxiety of getting over all the things that i was still scared of before i started drinking what is interesting is i i i went to a wet or not a wedding like a like a bougie party which a thousand percent if i was i if i was still drinking i would have had nine drinks within the first five minutes because that's how uncomfortable i was with these kinds of people. And to be on the dance floor with these,

like, I just, it was like, like no way in fucking hell, but within like an hour, hour, it took me about an hour and 15 minutes to finally feel comfortable. And I danced with Brenna on the dance floor, completely sober.

And I remember all the dance. And I remember like, like not like be, you know what what drinking does is it cuts off seeing the person right next to you looking at you maybe going man that's a weird dance like all that kind of shit yeah they don't even it's not like you don't care about them it's they don't even exist you you're not even in the it's not like you're like i know that they're there and i actually i like myself enough to not care it's not that they're like, I know that they're there and I actually, I like myself enough to not care. It's not that.

They don't exist. When you drink, they don't exist. But I'm saying though, it's a cheat. I think if your anxiety levels, go to a party maybe, don't drink right away.

Maybe it's just the initial. It might take an hour and a half. Yeah, that's the thing. You might have to wait through it. This is not easy, by the way. When I quit drinking and and suddenly was like how do i have sex it took me years before i was able to overcome all the fears and i was making out with guys and and hooking up while i was drinking and i go why can't i do that

again i've already done it i conquered that fear with alcohol why isn't that fear already conquered now but it was just i had to get back. And now, yeah, it takes me a little, it's not that easy for me to, you know, maybe you're listening at home and you're going, Nikki is so easy for you.

You stand on stage. Like I have social anxiety when I go to parties, I need to drink to feel, I get it, but you might have an easier time hooking up than I have fears too, that I have to, that suck, that I would love to have alcohol for or Xanax for. And I don't really, I don't use Xanax anymore, but I have in too that I have to, that suck that I would love to have alcohol for or Xanax for. And I don't really,

I don't use Xanax anymore, but I have in the past. But yeah, you have to be uncomfortable. It's going to be uncomfortable. There's no easy way. I want to just add to your point, like they say that alcohol reduces your inhibitions. And here's a definition of inhibition.

A feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. Yes. But alcohol takes away your inhibitions because it makes you stupid. If you look at people that have brain injuries or they were born mentally handicapped or challenged, that is what being drunk makes you but i guess and of course they're not scared they hug people anyone who will look at them they'll go up to strangers and go you know like when you look at someone who's mentally challenged who has a that condition you go oh my god they're so funny and like they dance and they don't care if their

stomach's hanging out and they're they're free with their body but you don't go i want that you go that's we'll excuse that because they have a mental handicap but if that person was drunk you'd go that is gross look and that's what you do to yourself when you drink i think living in new orleans for four years it's just such a part of the culture so it it's like, I don't know. The world, every day is tough for a lot of people. So if you can get fucking hammered on a Friday and Saturday. Oh my God, it's the best feeling in the world. And feel dumb and stop thinking, especially if you're brain and maybe you don't realize

you could go to a psychiatrist and maybe figure out what's going on or a psychologist. But just to feel dumb like isn't always a negative i think i think sometimes it's like fucking for four hours i could be a fucking idiot and yeah you could blame it on the alcohol whatever it's not gonna make your life better though it never will on the other side of acting dumb and getting blackout drunk you're gonna feel sick you're gonna not remember what you did there's i know have you ever gotten drunk and felt better about yourself the next day truly um maybe not the next day but maybe a week later i was like god that fucking game with my friends where we each and you know there were times when like i would drink and it would

just be a great dinner or a great hang and And then obviously I went way past that with Jager bombs. And I would fucking be in the shower sitting on the floor. But was there ever a night where you did not drink to excess in those times? Yeah. Yeah, there were. But not few and far between. I think now, today, if I drank, it would be different. Like I literally like when I envision drinking,

I envision maybe having like two Coronas on a boat. I think it's the salad thing that you said yesterday. What do you mean? You go, oh, I can have a salad and I'll take the croutons off. And then you eat the whole salad. Because the problem is people like, and I, listen, I'm just talking to the person that has said this to myself a bunch too. I was like, right now I could just have two.

But the problem is the person that you are right now saying that gets drunk. You get that voice that goes, I'm just gonna have two drunk and you take away their inhibitions. And then they go, one more. What's one more? And then that person gets more drunk.

And then if you could control it, you would. I agree with that, but I do think people change. And yes, i just think like i think back on like what i would spend my money on like buying a fucking mercedes and cash well you know what i think would happen is that you would not like the feeling of being drunk as much right now that's how i feel like i think it would make me feel sick right away because i would just be like oh i don't like feeling out of control you know how some people just never drink because they're like oh i don't know it just made me don't like feeling out of control. You know how some people just never drink, because they're like, oh, I don't know,

it just made me feel sad and out of control? And some people just don't respond to that well, because they like themselves, and they're like, it made me feel less me. That's how you might feel now, because you actually like yourself. I know, it's interesting. Whereas before, you hated yourself,

so when you felt less you, you're like, finally! But now, I feel like if i got drunk i'd be like i can't articulate my thoughts as well i can't be as kind or the you know empathetic whatever it is or like engaged like or i feel like a little like the world is spinning a little bit i used to love that feeling i was telling a meal this weekend i used to tell my last year of drinking i remember telling my friend sabrina i remember being like i was at the creek in the cave and i go let's get black out like that would be my goal yeah is to just disappear i get the person that wants to get take the weekends here let me just clock out i take depression naps

so that i can just not exist for a couple hours. I get wanting to clock out. I'm not judging it. I'm just saying if you're convincing yourself that it's a healthy thing to do, you're wrong. Yeah. But that's okay. I do unhealthy things all the time. But telling yourself that it actually makes your life better in the long run is a lie. But that's okay. You're allowed to lie to yourself.

You're not a bad person because you're lying to yourself. You don't deserve to punish yourself because you're lying to yourself it's just a thing you do to get by and that's okay yeah i used to react that if someone was like you know felt if i felt judged at all like my first reaction would be like oh you just don't have a good time you don't understand the culture in new orleans or you don't understand you get get very defensive, you know? Yeah. And I don't know. Yeah, I mean, look, there... Yeah, I just think back, like, the best times that I ever had drinking

was, like, when I wasn't getting blacked out. It was more like, we're just hanging with some friends. Like, when you get tired, you get... It's almost like a little drunk because your inhibitions go away, and that's when I get to see Andrew be a little bit drunk because he says things that like you're already unfiltered.

But when you get tired, that's another form of being stupider. Like your brain starts to shut down and you get a little bit more of the word you can't say. And it becomes funny to see someone that just is a little bit out of it. I mean, that was like my personality my whole life before like it was all about saying the outrageous thing or the darkest thing and like but you always had an excuse for it too i was drunk yeah with the booze i mean when people cheat and they go i was drunk there that's such a balm to put on your broken heart if you're a girl that gets cheated on he was drunk he didn't mean to he was a different person when you cheat and you're sober that is a different vibe that is like that's a that's a

different but guess what that's on a tuesday at like 7 p.m yeah that's yeah i mean girls are like are you sure you weren't drunk please tell me you were drunk no i was level-headed and i just don't like you or respect you and and I have no integrity. It was Wednesday during lunch at the office. Oh, God. Yeah, I was – no, you were hammered, though. Please. Did you have a kombucha?

Yeah. Did you have nine kombuchas? All right, let's get to the news. The news, apparently, you're – You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. All right.

Oh, man, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means? It is Tuesday. Hope you're having all the swells out there. And by all the swells, I mean all of them. All right. Oh, my God. What?

I love that guy. Nicely done. Thank you. What women should know about staying safe. Okay. I feel like you've hit on a lot of these before, but trust your intuition. It was proven that women were better at reading facial expressions

of emotion than men, and this allows them to pick up on intentions. Yeah, trust your gut. What am I thinking? Well, you're doing a fake face. No, this is real. No, you're too completely calm. What about now?

You're happy. No, I'm really good. I feel very confident in my ability to pick up on people's moods. Oh, that's something else when you're drunk you don't see. Oh, yeah. That's why people get loud and people come up to me after shows and be like, I just wanted to tell you and they can't see. And that's almost fun. And they fall through the screen you, and they can't see. And that's,

that's almost fun. They fall through the, oh, they fall through the little backdrop that we have set up. Well, they, they, they just don't know.

They, that's almost fun when people are drunk. Cause you can just look at your friends and roll your eyes and the person won't even see it. Yeah. When I was, when my mom used to get drunk, I used to say the fucking meanest shit that was deep in my heart. Cause I knew she wouldn't remember.

Oh, it was so fun. I used to go, I hate my god i hate like because i did you know like when my mom would get drunk sometimes i same with would hate her and i got to just when i knew when i started figuring out that because i didn't drink so i didn't understand what happened when you drank but when when i realized she didn't remember anything, ha, I could go. I smoked weed last night and the night before with my friends. I would just say the most insane shit. One time I told her I was gay. This is a true story. Because my friends and I were just,

it was in high school and I was driving her somewhere and she was in the back seat and I was like, check this out. And I said to my friend, because I knew she wouldn't remember it the next day and i was like mom i'm gay and i knew i'd get a real response who was driving i was driving oh you're driving i was like mom i'm gay and she goes nikki stop it and i go no mom i'm seriously like i'm i don't i'm always scared to tell you but i

need you to know like i am attracted to women and she she goes, oh, God damn it. I knew it. She goes, I've known for so long. And I was like, what? And I remember my friend Hala being like, I did not think it was going to go that way. I thought she was going to go like, Nikki, no. Like, you know, I thought she was going to. But she was just like, we knew.

We knew all along. Your dad and I know. And I was like, I'm not. And she goes, it's fine, Nikki. It's fine. Just be yourself. She didn't remember it the next day. What happened the next day? Nothing.

She didn't remember it. You know what's great, though? If you were actually gay, it'd be a great way to test out the waters with anything, really. It's like I killed a guy. Did you black out? You wouldn't black out, though. Yes. Men don't black out as much as women.

No, I blacked the fuck out, dude. Oh, good. Yeah, I blacked out. You know how though yes men don't black out no i black the fuck out oh good yeah i blacked out how many things i don't remember three beers is the john mulaney thing of like your brain is just like we know where this is going we're shutting down early well what's interesting about our parents is like your parent it was kind of like the idea of a crackhead couple where it's like if one person's doing crack by themselves it's really sad but two people it's kind of romantic because you have an interest. Like your parents have fun drinking together. And like it's like a thing that they do.

My mom would drink alone in her room playing solitaire, which is a way sadder thing when you look at it. But if she just had a guy next to her in bed also drinking with her, I would have been so much happier. I wouldn't be so sad when I think about it. My mom's drinking would end alone, let me just say. What do you mean? It would start with my dad, and then my dad would go to bed. And then it would end. Oh, yeah.

Listen, it was the same. I wish they were friends. They would have a great time. Well, a lot of times there are two people that drink together, and then they just are shouting into nothingness. They can't even communicate like you know a lot of times when they have drinking buddies there's not a

front when I stopped drinking all my friends that I drank with when we I would hang out with them sober we had nothing to talk about there was nothing there because when you're drunk you talk about fucking nothing you turn into kids you talk about literally like yeah like teenagers like I have a backpack and I just got this you were, and you were talking about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is us as teenagers and drugs. This is my shoe, and my shoe is. Where did you get those? I got them from the store, and then there's this little thing on here that's like, they're the, yeah. Well, sometimes they hurt, but sometimes they fit really well. Because of my sock, it gets bunched up and then the bunched up uh part kind of like what if you got new socks dude i got these socks off amazon dude yeah and they're sick

dude they're like 15 socks are so cool but sometimes socks are not cool i did i know but then your feet fucking shrank dude those thirst i hate things that smell oh my god dude sometimes smells go in my nose and i'm like what the fuck is that dude is that a fucking like a skunked pussy i'm hungry let's get food cheese and then drop your phone into a gutter and then cry and then stub your toe you were there you were there okay use your words and screw politeness predators rely on your politeness in order to get you into situations you wouldn't normally go along so many women have been murdered because they didn't want to make a guy feel bad that was making them feel scared yes so many women

i mean this is so many women suck penises because a guy takes a penis out and you just go oh that'd be rude to tell him to put it away it's too awkward so i'll just do what he wants yeah teach your children to not suck penises i'm telling you if you have young girls tell them no matter what a man does you always have a right to say no that makes me uncomfortable if you're uncomfortable you have a right to say something i wish that would have got hammered into my head sooner than all the dicks that got hammered into my head because i felt that that's very funny hammer it into your kid's head like a dick that they'll probably suck if you don't do that oh that's so funny you gotta that should be a learn situational awareness predators look for distracted victims like in a parking garage or like i think about how many people fucking look

at their phones but from the train station to their house and never once look up where they could have been stabbed 45 times like yeah that's the big one for me because when i think about that when like you just like you're on your phone you're like how did i even get to my house i didn't even look up once you know what i mean and i think that's how people get fucking fucked up nowadays i think that yeah walk through your day when you're in a safe environment like if you're met like say meditate and just go through your day and think about all the times i went to a jujitsu class like a self-defense like basic course and they were like just throughout your day go if someone attacked me right now what would i use what would i do and just think about all the times you're so vulnerable and what would you use i'd use this fucking lava lamp

probably just to be like dude i'm pretty cool yeah like don't kill me i've got good style dude i fucking i have a vw van yeah uh scooby dooby doo yeah dude i got it had no engine i put like think about it man like these gloves like why are these why is it psychedelic why are lava lamps associated with like i guess because they look like the kind of things you see when you do mushrooms yeah also it's not moving right now yeah all right be careful meeting men on the internet if you're meeting up with someone always tell a friend or family member where you're going.

That kind of ruins the romance, doesn't it? What? To tell your friend, I'm going to this guy's house, here's his address? I don't know. There's something about checking in with someone. It's so romantic to not tell anyone where you're going. There is a thrill to just doing something that- Just tell your friend.

That's not, doesn't take away from the romance. You don't have to get to the door and go, I told everyone. I know that I'm here. That's you don't have to tell the guy that. Well, I love when women go,

you're not a murderer. Are you? And it's such a funny question. I'm not kidding you. I know that that's funny because what murder is going to go, you got me. Yeah. But there is a thing too.

If you, when I asked that man that pulled over on the side of the robe are you guys gonna rape me they got out of their car to like show me this cow or something i forget it was in the caymans and i go are you gonna rape me the look on his face was so incredulous and just like disgusted at the notion that it assured me he like women do know if you but because if a guy was about to rape you and had that and you go are you gonna rape me and he goes no like yes it would it would throw them yeah if if you called them out and go it's are you gonna murder me it would throw a murderer most murderers i would say you would be able to it's not the craziest thing to

do and i know that it's like i hear what you're saying such a ridiculous thing i'm not kidding you girls if you sense a guy is being weird and you go are you gonna rape me honestly you could get assurance from that question that you wouldn't think that you would but a real rapist will get a little bit nervous when you when he answers that it's like when i hitchhiked after – when I was hammered, I was – and those two guys picked me up. And I asked if they were going to kill me, and he told me that I was the hitchhiker. Yeah, there's more likely that you – Yeah, I'm the killer. But like from his answer right away, yeah, you just knew.

You just got assurance. And it broke the tension. First of all, it's honest. Yeah. I think that's another thing that they could add to this list is like whatever you're feeling is right and whatever you want to say or do in that moment don't put that away and don't don't say oh this is me being you know having too much anxiety i'm just i i'm a worry wart i'm a bad person because i think there's like on the other side of that you could be saving your life and maybe you are a really anxious person and people tell you it all the time and you're over

exaggerating and you're too worried about things in the moments where you think you're being murdered don't risk it just be that person every time you say risk it I think a brisket I don't know don't risk it dude every don't risk it a decent amount of times and I just get I just think you start your mouth starts watering a little bit no but um what was i gonna say oh so apps are like dating apps at least during covet especially yeah uh they would have uh they would have zooms like you could date like yeah so like if you're asking someone if they're a murderer maybe maybe maybe do one phone call before you go on a date. Oh, yeah, don't ask it on chat. You can't tell tone from chat. And so, yeah. Maybe one phone call with anyone you're going to go on a date with.

If you go argue a murder and then the dot, dot, dot pops up and then it goes away and then it pops up again, you're about to get sliced. That is ominous as fuck. A dot, dot, dot coming up and then going away with an answer to argue a murder. And then he finally answers, no. No. If someone uses a period after any kind of one word answer, murderer. Yes, dude. Also, can we stop with the exclamation?

You have a lot of exclamation marks in your text. I try because it makes, it's because. Brenna does it too. And it just makes me think she's mad. Even if it's like, get the paper. Like, yeah, I don't know. An exclamation mark seems like yelling. That's what I'm trying to prevent against of like, no, it's trying to show this.

I use it so people don't think I'm mad. Oh, wow. When I go, thank you with an exclamation mark. If it was just thank you. Well, thank you is a different thing. But like, I'd have to look at an example. Yeah, find an example of when I use, sometimes you think I'm mad because I use an exclamation mark, right?

Well, Brenna does. Brenna does it in ways where I go, did she take time to hit the thing to hit the other thing? Because you think she's overcompensating because she is mad. So she's doing the opposite of what she feels? Or that she's actually mad and she's yelling. I was like, why are you yelling about this? She's like, hey, can you pick me up from the airport with an exclamation mark or something

well that well yeah i know that's the best example but like yeah next time screenshot it we'll yeah we'll dissect it dissect it uh you never owe him sex you already went over that one never yeah no matter what even if you said i'm gonna fuck you as soon as i see you if you get i've there been so many times where i've been you know talking with a guy a long distance and we've become very intimate over the phone and you know sexting and all the things and we've made plans to see each other and i've made plans to fuck them as soon as i see them because i want to in that moment i want to and then i get there and i don't want to and? I do it. Because I've already given my word. And I feel like I have to. No longer.

I would just say, I changed my mind. I'm allowed to. Got to count them on. Your feelings aren't wrong. I wish someone would have taught me that earlier on. Just because your feelings might be erroneous or not based in truth. But if they're your feelings, just honor them. Just always honor them

because you end up, if you sleep with someone and you don't want to sleep with them, I argue it's you're raping yourself because you don't want to be doing this, but you're doing it. You're forcing yourself to do it. So you're raping.

I've often felt that way. So don't, and it does feel like that. You might not characterize it as that, but it's, you're abandoning yourself. I also feel like it's You might not characterize it as that, but you're abandoning yourself. I also feel like it's okay to be disliked.

I wish I knew that earlier. I'm actually reading that book. I think you might recommend it. The Courage to be Disliked? Yeah. Yeah. And it's a great book because it's just a conversation between a brilliant, I don't even know what he would be called.

Like a Zen master. Yeah. And then a student asking all the questions you would ask like everything you would bring but like yeah i think earlier on i wish like it would be like okay this person is mad or upset with me that doesn't make me want to i was just talking about this i only don't want people to like me that i if you don't like me it's fine but if you don't like me and you have a way, if you're a narcissist or a sociopath or like bordering on that, I desperately need you to like me

because I'm scared of what you could do. And that's okay. I do believe it's okay to lie in order to protect yourself from narcissists and sociopaths and to get them to either be neutral about you or like you because on the other side of that, you are detrimental to your whole life either be neutral about you or like you because on the other side of that, they are detrimental to your whole life

because they will hurt you. It sucks to give them that fucking energy. It doesn't matter because you can't hurt them. You'll never be able to hurt them. No, but it hurts me in the sense of like, I'm even thinking about them. Why am I giving them my- Because they are dangerous.

They're dangerous people. But are they actual dangerous? Yes, I'm talking about even comedians who are narcissists. Because they are dangerous. They're dangerous people. But are they actual dangerous? Yes. I'm talking about even comedians who are narcissists. They can spread lies about you and create – people are so scared of them and they have such power, like they do over you, that they could ruin your life without you knowing it.

So you're not stupid to get these people to like you. And I just reached this conclusion yesterday or this morning when I was in the first part of this job. I guess i feel like if i could get them to like me doing the least amount possible if i'm like overdoing it i'm like don't don't if you can be invisible to this person choose that don't try to get them to like you because then them being aware of you is dangerous as is but if they are aware of you try to get them to like you let's take a quick break and come back with why do i care 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts

so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show

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and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back.

This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party,

your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning.

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we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to throttle therapy with Catherine leg and I heart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment. You can find us on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast presented by elf beauty founding partner of I deep blue sports and entertainment. You can find us on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast presented by elf beauty founding partner of I heart women's sports. Why do I care?

Why do I care? Why do you care? Yeah. Uh, why do I care? Okay. Uh, Pete Davidson smokes weed on the red carpet at the premiere of the freak

brothers in LA. According to the show's description, the eight-episode series chronicles the escapades of a trio of stoner, anti-establishment characters and their cat who wake up from a 50-year nap after smoking a magical strain of weed in 1969 and must adjust to life with a new family in present-day San Francisco. Okay, I just tuned out of that whole description. But he smoked weed on the red carpet?

Yeah. All right. You know, I don't think he should be smoking weed because he has bipolar, and I think it's bad for people with psychiatric disorders, such as myself. I don't think weed is good. I don't judge you if you need it.

I needed it for a really long time. He probably just needs it, but I hope that he gets up to a point where he doesn't because I don't think it serves people with until illness. There's something about weed nowadays that like, I don't know, it's just keh to me in a way. Like Seth Rogen's known for weed. And just to be known for smoking,

you're like a 40-year-old, to be known for smoking weed, like a 40 year old like to be known for smoking weed it's just so to me i don't know what it is and like i'm sure it helps a lot of people and it makes it more um less taboo but yes but there's something about like giving someone like a coolness factor to be like dude that, that guy didn't give a fuck. Weed is not cool. It is very helpful to people that have anxiety and depression and just need to get by. I mean, I quit three months ago, three and a half months ago.

And I've quit several times in my life. But I really feel like more done than ever. And when I did it i needed it and there's nothing wrong with it so i don't judge anyone who smokes currently and i feel like that's my best advice to anyone who smokes and has a little bit of shame about it drop it just you need you need weed you like don't be ashamed don't hide about it don't try to excuse it away or you know sneak off to do it just do it because you fucking need to and you know what if that's what's making you not kill yourself or not cut yourself or not hit your dog or fucking hate yourself in a way that makes is going to bring more harm to the

world it's the least harmful thing you can do yeah because you can't cope and fucking do it all you want and the and the second that you know you i truly believe that the only way to overcome addictions or things that you someday go i'd like to not smoke weed that was always my point of view is like i'd like to not have an eating disorder that rules my life i'd like to not smoke weed i'd like to not drink these are all goals of mine and i wish someone would have told me sooner that you can have freedom from those things as soon as you accept that you just need them right now. You need them when you need them. And because so much of needing those things, you need them because you have so much shame

about already needing them. So the shame you have about doing it already is going to cause you to do it more. The shame I had over binging or starving would make me have anxiety and feel terrible about myself. And then I would need to starve and binge to quell that anxiety. The anxiety I had over sneaking weed and being high and being such a loser.

Why do you need weed to like go? You're doing, you know, Fallon. Why would you smoke weed before that, Nikki? You're throwing your life away. You're squandering this opportunity. The sooner I got to the place, and it took me a minute, but as soon as I got to the place of like,

when I would pick up that bowl and I, first thing in the morning. Or apple. Or whatever it was. I, you know, no, I wasn't at this point in my life when I was smoking from apples. I was still shameful about it.

But when I got back home after Cayman and I was needing weed all summer long and feeling, get to the point where I was like, really shameful about it. But when I got back home after Cayman and I was needing weed all summer long and feeling get to the point where I was like really ashamed about it. It only was about three weeks of just going, you need it, bitch. Just have it. Fucking you get this. Because instead of this, what would it be? It would be crying in bed all day and not being able to function.

That's worse than this weed. It would be drinking. It would be, I need this and that's okay and then as soon as i was able to do that i didn't need it anymore there is something to the shame that you were talking about which is like what comes first to shame or or you smoking weed like it reminds me of like my mom when she would smoke cigarettes but she wouldn't smoke in front of us she'd go to the bathroom in a restaurant to smoke because of how we would maybe judge her or how she perceived we judged her.

And we probably did judge her because we wanted her to live and we fucking hated cigarettes. Yeah. But that feeling of having to sneak off. It means that you're going to have anxiety. It's anxiety. Yeah, I know.

And that's almost sadder than me. And then you need to have anxiety feel so uncomfortable that you need to make it go away and what do you choose something that makes you feel good instantly cigarettes yeah so it's like it makes more cigarettes when you were like with your weed stuff like when you were eventually like honest with everyone like yeah you know even some people that you thought maybe you didn't want yeah to know as soon as i stopped going in my room alone or going on the balcony

when I would just do it in front of people or go, hey, I wouldn't want to make it stinky in the room. So I'd go, I'm going to go smoke weed. I'd have to tell people I was doing it. As soon as I got really honest and also just, you guys can judge me, but I don't judge myself anymore for this. I need this and I know that instead of,

if I didn't do this something worse would happen for now that's the truth and this is the best this is the best thing i can do right now for myself and it's all i have so that's okay and then when you're just nicer to yourself about that that's when it's you're able to give it away or give it up or it just becomes so much easier to give it up and i wish i wish i would have known that earlier so i try to spread that message as much as possible whatever shameful act you're doing as soon as you start going it's okay that I'm doing this I just need to

do this I don't have an option I just it's all I can do right now because I'm in pain you will be able to let go of that thing a lot easier unless you're going into a burning building as a firefighter then just get loaded just get hammered yeah let's get to Reddit dump

this is your Reddit dump. This is your Reddit dump. All right. It's the weekly dump of Reddit things that I found that I liked. Let me see what I got this week for us. Oh, okay. This was a good one. This was on white people Twitter, the subreddit. Did you see that picture of that stupid fucking republicans family all posing with

guns around the christmas tree so in the in the wake of the fucking michigan school shooting insanely where the parents knew that the guy had a gun and they even texted him don't do it because they obviously knew it's just disgusting anyway um someone had um posted a picture of that family. And then next to it was a picture of like the, it looks to me to be the Taliban with a bunch of guns. You know when they all pose with guns? Like, you know, it'll be. It'll be a side by side. Like a picture of this.

And he put a side by side. He goes, weird. This is from the Twitter account, rschooly. Weird how when we see gun group shots from other countries, we don't think at all that awesome freedom yeah hmm isn't that interesting this one made me laugh out loud this was from the subreddit to me irl for me irl i don't know what me in real life i let me see what the subreddit says for relatable posts that are too real for me r.i.l or me underscore irl meaning jokes posts about mental health issues and self-deprecating humor okay so it's this uh little kid and he's at a bar he's not he's like it's a a superimposed image of a little boy scratching his head looking like

uncomfortable kind of and it's superimposed upon a picture of a bar and it says damn i kind of want to leave and then it just the meme says me as soon as i get anywhere and it just the kid's face just made me laugh damn i kind of want to leave like whenever you get anywhere like as soon just being like i don't like this and that's the feeling you get when you stop drinking and you go to places that you used to drink at. You just go – because that's the thing. Like alcohol makes those things tolerable. It doesn't make them fun. It just makes you stupider.

So you think this thing that isn't fun is fun. People that have mental handicaps are happy with – you give them a box and they're like, well, I like it. That doesn't mean the box is inherently fun they're just dumber than you so like when you go to a bar after you don't drink it's just not fun anymore and that was the freedom of not drinking was like oh man like the things that i thought were fun were not fun i was just drunk yeah like oh i'm gonna miss going to bars so much no i won't i won't miss it because it was never fun and there are some things that you did when you're drunk that are still fun once you get sober like hit the punching machine or like hit your kids yeah that's what i call them

um this is from comedy heaven and this is um these are jokes that are so bad it's ascended. So comedy heaven. Like jokes that are so bad or just so cringe. And this is Neil deGrasse Tyson. I sent you this. Or Emil showed you this. Emil deGrasse? This is from Neil deGrasse Tyson.

So over the course of so many years. Oh yes, yes, yes. This is 10 years on Twitter. Neil deGrasse Tyson has tried to make this joke five different times on Twitter. First time was February 23, 2010. Another thought to disturb restful slumber, especially if you are vain. In a mirror, you can kiss only yourself on the lips.

It got 100 retweets. August 30, 2011. This is a year and a half later for narcissists only laws of reflection require that if you kiss yourself in a mirror it will always be on the lips july 12 2013 oh that got 714 retweets july 12 2013 two years later just an fyi in a mirror you can only kiss yourself on the lips 2.5 000 retweets he's growing now six years six years later uh 2000 or this is december 2019 you can kiss yourself in the mirror but only on the lips 21 000 retweets and now currently december 1st 2021 two years after the fourth attempt at this joke this is now his fifth attempt in a mirror you can kiss yourself only on the lips word economy 4.8 000 retweets so he peaked in 2019 which i would say neil degrasse tyson's popularity

also peaked in 2019 um it's just so embarrassing i love i love that he changed up the wording like he knew he knew that he wrote it before oh yeah yeah i've done that before with jokes you can repost a joke there's no shame in that but five times there's shame yeah also i made out and the sooner he can lips a lot on the mirror you did yeah my mom caught me because she saw she saw lip and tongue marks on the mirror wait what were you doing that to practice or did you just love yourself it's the only way i could come nick no no yeah it was just practice I was practicing did you do the pillow too uh did I fuck a pillow

like fuck a pillow let's make out with a pillow or like uh I think I've I've kissed my own arm like practiced on like you were practicing or like were you just trying to feel love I mean that no no I wasn't like turned on by but i was

practicing sometimes i do that with myself like i'll rub my arm just like gently just to be like like nurturing to myself because i just need human touch like the other day when i was crying in the fucking airport i wanted someone to hug me so bad i just wanted someone to see me looking sad and going like do you need a hug and just i would have stopped if someone would have done that i would have just grabbed them so tight. It would have been crazy. My mom was like, do you need a kiss? Do you need a kiss? Are you making this up?

Do you want to? Oh, my God. Last night, Poppy, though, I got human affection from my niece. Oh, it was so great. She loves me so much now. Yeah, it's nice. And she just loves to climb on me and just hug me. And last night, she was doing this thing where she kept putting a um her

pacifier in my mouth and then she would bite the she thought it was so funny that i was sucking on this pacifier because no adult would do that it was like on the floor and like had baby spit on it but i was just like i'll do anything to make this kid laugh so i was going like i'm a baby and then she kept biting it and it looked like we were making and i was looking at my sister like i'm not doing this like this is and she kept taking out and going and then she i would take it out and be like i'm done then she'd put it back in my mouth and just bite the yeah the other side of it so it looked like we were just making out and i kept looking at my sister like i'm i promise you i don't she likes this is this okay i i kind of like it because it's a kiss in a way but we're not actually touching

lips. You're turning into your dad. It was so sweet though. She's so cute. Did she say hey babe? Yeah. Babe I haven't heard that in a while. Oh my god. Your poppy. I forgot what I was

I was singing some song and I was putting her name in it. It's so funny when you see kids get humor and get irony. I forgot what I was, I was singing some song and I was putting her name in it. It's so funny when you see kids get humor and get irony. I remember what you. Not on the farm. E-I, no, not the E-I-E-I-O. It was similar to that. But she liked it. Oh, yeah.

It's awesome. She was just like, I'm famous. She is so cute. Yeah, she's very cute. Oh, my God. Last night we were dancing. I posted on my Instagram. It is the cutest little video.

Arlo was freaking out because we were doing the Just Dance thing. And he and his dad were dancing and then Poppy started dancing. And he, as a four-year-old would do, got really upset that she was dancing in his dance. And so he started screaming and crying and writhing on the floor being like, I don't want Poppy to dance. And my sister, you sister you can hear my sister wait i just want to play it because you can hear my sister say someone thought there was a dildo on the ground some purple object oh no that's a phone but it okay poppy you do you you do you and then poppy then goes to start like twerking on the floor you gotta go watch it's so cute she's standing there so sad

because arlo told her to stop and my sister goes it's okay poppy you do you and then she just drops to the floor and starts twerking it's so cute final thought um let me just see there's one more thing i wanted to read from here um this is from made me smile the subreddit and uh the person said i'd love to see a movie based on this i disagree but uh this is a good tweet this is from s wolf underscore vis vis 12 years ago i talked to a stranger at a bar for over three hours he said goodbye and nothing more when I left. In the parking lot, I got angry. I stormed back in and yelled at him for not asking for my phone number.

We're married now. That girl's a masculine energy, fo' sho'. Yeah, that's a strong move. But you know what? That's all it takes sometimes. If you felt something go for it and if you're the type of person that that's a thing that is within your ability to do don't squash that part of your personality to get this man even though you know i've only done like

something like that once i think in my life i remember i went out to dinner and the hostess was really pretty and i was like 22 or something or whatever i was getting back from college and i felt like she was checking me out when i was eating with my dad and i called the restaurant when i got home and i goes to brown hair girl like whatever and like and we connected and then we ended up going on dates like through that but like i didn't know her name or anything i just called the restaurant that's a good move it's a strong move yeah yeah i've done it before i've left guys like i've given my number to guys that i'm like you're cute and just been bold like that and you know what if they don't if they're not the type of guy that is gonna

respond to that kind of female aggressive aggressive energy aggressive being in quotes like not actually aggressive but like you know taking taking charge, then they're not for you. My friends would do that a lot, to leave a number for the girl. It's a great move because it protects you from getting rejected right then and there. That's the move that my friend Andy Lee... Yeah.

Because it puts the onus on the girl to call. Yeah. And you don't feel the rejection if she never calls because you already forgot about it probably a couple days later. Well, my friend Andyy lee he's uh of hamish and andy in australia one of my favorite just youtube any hamish and andy clip and you'll have the best time of your life it's a it's a great thing to put on on youtube and a lot of americans don't know about hamish and andy but andy lee of hamish and andy he um used to have this pickup technique

where he would give he would write his email address on a piece of paper and go up to a girl and say, Here, if you ever want to get a drink or something, email me. I feel like phone numbers are so aggressive that it's just very intimate. And this is before Instagram, by the way. This is before DMing. But here's my email so maybe now you do your instagram write on piece of paper and go um and if i don't hear from you i'll convince myself you lost this piece of paper and if i do it's great so either way i'm good and

literally say that to her say and it's a cute thing to say and it's it really does save your save you face he's like i already filled out the for you. But if a guy said that to me and was like, if you don't write me, I'll just convince myself you lost. Like, I would be so. You'd be intrigued. I would be so tickled. What was the good pickup line we heard the other day? I don't know. Someone gave it to us.

Emil was there. And I was like, oh, my God, Emil, you got to do that. It was such a good one. God damn it. I didn't hear it. I don't know. Can I call him real quick to ask? Because I just, I want to share it. What do you think was the best i didn't hear i don't know can i call him real quick to ask because i just i want to share it i think with the best pickup line ever i don't know i just

feel like they're so cheesy who gave us that it was someone at a show are you tired from running around in my mind all day it was another thing of like giving a number and being so... Oh, it was Seth Herzog. Oh, he did the greatest thing. Okay, I know it now. Yo. Yo, hey, you're on my podcast. Oh, hey. Hey, I was trying to remember what recently... We were talking about pickup lines

and I had remembered that someone gave us a really good one and I looked at you and was like, remember that, Emil? And I couldn't remember who it was, but as the phone was ringing, I remembered it wash herzog do you remember it shit the line yeah uh fuck wait i'll remind you i remember it i just didn't want to hang up on you so it was um and you should use it so if if you get a girl's number yeah or at uh you know he just picked that up so funny oh yeah yeah if you get a girl's number, you...

Wait, so I already have had to got her number? Yeah, you have to get her number. That's the fucking part you need the line for. Okay, well, that's a good point. Well, I actually have advice. I just gave it on the podcast, but you give a girl your email address, and this was advice that was given before DMing,

but a number's a little aggressive. You can give your girl your email address or, you know, Instagram and say, um, or LinkedIn. And you can say, uh,

here, um, reach out to me if you ever want to get a drink or, you know, go out. Um, and if you don't, if I don't hear from you,

I'm just going to convince myself you lost it. Um, so I'm going to win either way. And that's a cute little line, but what Seth McFarland, what Seth Herzog said to do is if you get a girl's number text her right away as soon as you leave and say hey it's seth um i don't know if you remember me but i'm the guy like literally seconds after you get it say something that like i don't know if you remember me but i'm this guy that you met it's just a cute thing that would make any girl smile.

That is a good one. I remember that now. It's funny. Like you got to do it right away for it to work. Yes. Right away. You can't even do it when you get home. Yes.

Yes. I'm the guy in the red shirt that was, you might remember me. We had that conversation about like, just say it like you're writing it five years later. I'm still talking to you. I'm looking at you in the face. That's your energy. I think you, you know, so they, they they're not like is this guy crazy like who would think i forgot him you know what i mean you hope like hopefully she's like oh yeah he's

like funny like that you know yes wait emile do you when you see exclamation marks and text messages from people do you take that as they're mad at you sometimes or screaming or is it always a sign that like things are good and they're nice um yeah most of the time things are good and things are nice like multiple exclamation points i'm like okay good like i have like multiple it actually puts me at ease no multiple in one shot like two and like for one that's always like your this is too much but if it's multiple within you know an eat like a whole message of like thank you exclamation mark see you next time exclamation mark that's okay oh no yeah i'm crazy though and i think if if there's like three in a row like thank you like five after that i go uh i read

it as like thank you yeah i do aggressive. It's a passively nice. Oh, I think they're Christian. I think they're just like, oh, they're Southern. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. That's so funny. All right.

We have to go. Emil, I'll call you later. All right. Bye, Emil. Thank you. Bye. With exclamation marks. Baby boy.

Baby boy. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. We're going to be back tomorrow. alright bye thank you bye with exclamation marks baby boy baby boy alright guys thank you so much for listening to the podcast today we're gonna be back tomorrow are you okay are you meditating what's going on over there I'm thinking of my jack

oh look at really what yeah jack your jack oh I was like oh you're thinking about like

your drum jacking off no Luigi he can sense when the podcast is over look at his little head shoot up he gets the tone of like alright guys don't be

And Jack Wait wait wait Okay Jack Cool But the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

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Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then, I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

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