The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #150 A Group Project

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Nikki and Andrew are podding in Los Angeles a few doors away from each other. Nikki found away to get rid of voicemails while Andrew is leaving a bunch for a psychiatrist. Nikki wrote a lot of notes about her special and there's still more to be done, but are the stakes as high as she thinks? You Heard It Here First, we don't want to see teachers scrambling for dollars, there are too many opinions, Andrew brings up bad examples, napping on the job is a-ok and Nikki does care about what Billie Eilish has to say about porn. Nikki's Reddit Dump will make you laugh, cringe and crave Doritos. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Hello. Welcome to the podcast.

It's Tuesday. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles, California. I'm not starting the show alone today. I mean, I'm never alone. Noah is always there. She's in Arizona. Hi, Noah.

How are you? Hi. Awesome. Doing good. Yeah? Good day today? the show alone today i mean i'm never alone noah is always there she's in arizona hi noah how are you hey awesome doing good yeah good day today good good day i just saw you post about jujitsu yeah that's why i'm having a good day i went to the gym for like almost three hours already today no no last night oh fun wow that's a lot but it do you do the whole time? It's not working out three hours. I just want to make that clear. I'm not like a meathead. Yeah. It's like working together, trying new things, stuff like that.

Yeah. Okay. Teamwork. That makes me feel better. But that's fun. You have friends there. Yeah. Oh, that's nice.

Andrew. What's up? Colin is here. Yo. In the hotel room across the hall from me. What's up, dude? What's up? What's up over there in 1812? I'm the hall from me what's up dude what's up what's up over there

in 1812 1812 i'm in 1815 what's up right across the halls right across the halls how did you sleep last night i slept actually really good um i went to bed early like 10 o'clock woke up at 1 a.m it was okay tried to get a psychiatrist this morning in St. Louis. Oh, yeah. I got a call mine, too. He didn't. One, the phone, they go, we're not going to be available until December 22nd, until the 27th. I am like, I looked at my phone.

I go, is it the 22nd? It's not even close. They're just letting you know. Yeah, they're just, you know. No. They're just letting you know. I listened to the same message I gave you. It's my psychiatrist, right? The phone's not even on, though. Yeah, they never answer, you know, I listen to the same message I gave you. It's my psychiatrist, right?

Yeah, the phone's not even on, though. Yeah, they never answer. You just leave messages. I mean, okay, so I guess that's. Did you have to listen to the whole thing of like, if you're requesting a stimulant, please note that you cannot get it refilled on the same day. It's like the longest message ever. Ever.

Ever. To just go, hey, can I get these stimulants filled today and they're like we just told you it's smart because it depresses you so then you want to go more um yeah the longer the message you have to listen to they probably lose more people than and get less people leaving messages do you know that i have no voicemail like there's no outgoing voicemail you can't leave me a voice message. It is the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I switched phones.

When did my phone go kaput? August? September? Something like that. Because it's full or just because? Matt Green, my brother-in-law, is a tech whiz. You know, his brother works at Apple and like develops this shit. He knows everything about phones and stuff. And I go go i brought it over the other day and i go hey i haven't had voice

voicemail it just and when i call it goes you need to like enter your password and i put it and it's just he couldn't hack it he goes you just can't have voicemail you have to maybe go to you know at&t i'm not gonna do that no but the thing is guess what hasn't caused me hasn't my world is still going yeah your email no one's been able to leave a fucking message for me and there is no problem in my life you know you think that if there's people can't get in touch with you there would be some catastrophe if someone can't leave a voice message but just text me bro the only people that tell you your voicemails down is your parents hey i couldn't leave a message i wanted to tell

you to call me back hey and it's like i see you on the call waiting or to call whatever i know to call you back i see it do you say leave a message at the beep do you still say the beep do i say the beep do you What's yours? Is yours like, hey, it's Andrew? I don't even know at this point. Yeah. Is your voice message full? Is your mailbox full?

A lot of times it is. Yeah. Because you have to delete it. Yeah. You have to delete it out. Like twice. Yeah. I try to get mine to fill up so that I can't get any more.

But you know what? A full voice, like when people are like in a professional sense, when people are calling you and trying to leave a message and you know your mailbox is full you're not a reliable person to work with because you're not like it just for me it goes oh this person's very disorganized and not getting to things in their life even though that's not true you know who cares about voicemails it's just it's almost like a messy room i agree but i think it could also be looked at as like they're highly in demand and they can't even keep up so we got to get them maybe i don't know maybe all i know is i called the psychiatrist the one didn't work one doesn't or three didn't accept new

patients and then the last one was a fax machine and that was wait what did mine say it just never answered it just i couldn't even leave a message on yours dude you can i'll get you in i'll get The last one was a fax machine. Wait, what did mine say? It just never answered. I couldn't even leave a message on yours. Dude, you can. I'll get you in. I'll get you through. All right, well, I've left messages for three others. I'm trying.

Yeah. But anyhow. You got to get that well butren. That's what you're trying to get, right? I just got to come, Nick. I got to come better. I mean, you know. Because you're on Zoloft.

How many MGs are you on 50 yeah that's it's amazing what 50 milligrams has done for your life i don't i don't think i've known anyone that has benefited more and i'm and i say that with so much love yeah like you really you you lucked out with you know it takes people so long to find the right kind of cocktail. And 50 MGs for you, you're just a happy guy. You rarely chew on your fingers that much anymore. I just don't see you have that much anxiety anymore. And you just always seem really happy. I do get sad still.

I get sad. But I think I get sad for the right reasons. Not sad because I have horrible panic attacks. Like, and I'm afraid of life. What do you do when you're sad? Um, I try to just, like, be in it and not try to, like, like a panic attack. I try not to, like, stop being sad. I just let it go through.

And usually, a lot of times it's in the morning and i'll just sit in bed for an extra like 10 minutes and it usually goes away and then after a shower it's gone will you go on your phone to kind of or do you just lay there sad usually what is the sadness i don't know i just like you feel depressed yeah it's hard to explain it i guess like you have thoughts of like what am I doing with my life? What's the point of everything? Like, those kind of thoughts? Kind of.

A little bit, yeah. Like, I was a little depressed about, like, we did, I don't know, for the cameras, the stuff yesterday. And it's like. Yeah, you did a thing yesterday. You know, when we travel so much, that first day, like, I don't feel creative or as witty as I want or whatever and i was like was i too mean like you know was i led to like certain answers i didn't want to get you know

what i mean and like it felt like a deposition that i was like wait what did i say and it's just i don't know a little it'll air eventually and then we'll have that talk. God only knows what you said, Jesus Christ. Are you worried that – It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. I just like – No, I don't think – I think you are being hard on yourself. You say so much, though.

That's the problem with those things. So it's like, what did I say? You know, you just – and you're tired at the end end and you're just like, I don't know. Well, but, you know, but no, I think I think I was good. I think it was good. You're having a little bit of anxiety, like kind of sadness about that. Yeah. Just because, like, I just I don't know if like I was in good enough mood yesterday.

You know, the line between funny and mean can be just a smile away sometimes and just how you don't put that little smile on it it can be taken the wrong way totally it's like writing an lol after a text yeah yeah it's like go fuck yourself bitch lol yes um yeah i have that too i always have that kind of hangover after where i go i could have been better you know like that that regret of i could have been better and then you start going it's not you know why didn't they work in my schedule so i had a day to collect myself like i would have been better if it was a day later and like and you start pointing fingers of like but i i want to like it's it's not my fault that i was bad i get it's and it's like it's not even it's not your fault like you're

just you know that's the way the schedule works and honestly um you couldn't have done any differently yesterday it was like that was the way it was supposed to be and uh and in the end like whatever you did on that thing even if it was the most important thing of your life and i'm just talking about in general like i was editing my special last night and i'm just like in the middle of it and i go most people aren't even gonna get this fucking far you know like yeah i was like you know like yeah most people i mean they should it's really good but oh you mean get this far to watch no yeah i didn't mean like in your career oh i thought you meant in the career no i meant like in in the special i was halfway through it and I go, I could really just, you know,

have a video of Andrew on a conversion table putting peanut butter all over himself singing This Girl is on Fire. Yeah. And just, it could cut to that and I wonder how many people would even notice because, you know, comedy specials are hard to maintain your focus the entire time.

But I was thinking, you know what i was having kind of existential thoughts of like i'm gonna be dead someday this me staying up and i was just like wired at 2 a.m like still you know i keep making these notes you should see my notes it's just i've never it looks like i'm i've never felt like I was studying for a final for like it was just so much work that it reminded me of college of just like staying up late and doing all this writing and like just getting it done and I was feeling very productive but at some point there was diminishing returns and I was supposed to get the whole thing done tonight or last night and I did not I only got halfway through it. There's so much work to be done on it.

And I was like, if this isn't submitted in time, does anything really happen? What are the consequences? Am I going to go to prison? Am I going to, is my family going to be murdered? The stakes are not as high as I make them out to be all the time. Yes. You know? Yeah.

Yeah, I know. But I guess, like, I don't know. It's weird because I think it's a double-edged sword in the sense, like, you making the stakes high will make you work harder or make it better somehow because you have more to lose kind of thing i don't know it just i pulled a real louis ck on this one like i yesterday i went into the edit i feel so bad i um and i you know did you expose yourself jerk off joke here what it um but I I went in so there's a couple things I I've learned in my life that it's good to ask for help to know when you can't do things you can't do everything especially as a stand-up you just try to do you try to do everything yourself I'm someone who if I got in you know were you like this got you guys if you got into a group project in high school, middle school,

where it's like three people are all working on this thing and you got to like work for like a week or weeks on it and then present it? What role did you take in that? I mean, I already know. You were the Joe Kiske of the group. That was the guy that I just go, you sit back. Let me do this, Joe. I tried to be the glue wow that's why we work together we're all i mean honestly this is a group project

yeah and we need you keep it fun andrew yeah i'm joe noah is the person that's like keeping like putting the caps back on the markers putting them back in the like keeping them organized like keeping us on schedule making sure things get turned in at the right time and I'm like can I just like do it all can I just write it all can I be the one that colors it in and that's that's that's always what I wanted to do and I think that you know uh Miss Busive my therapist she she used to tell me, like, you need to ask for help for things. Because I remember being like, I got to get this set together for this thing. And I have to go shopping for this dress. That was the same time she goes, you're not a beauty. It doesn't matter what you wear. People aren't looking at you.'re not a beauty accept it and I was just like

you can't say that to me it matters and then I was free after that a little bit but um she also was like you need to ask for help because I remember one time call I went into her it was the first session I ever went into with her and I just go you know today my issue is that I need to get a mattress. I need a mattress and I cannot decide on one. I am just stuck. I go to the store. I lay on them. I toss around.

I cannot. There's just too many choices. And so I'm just sticking with my shitty one. And I was like, and I called my mom. She goes, why did you call your mom? I go, I don't know. She's like a goods consumer. Like she knows what's

good where to go and she goes is she sleeping on the mattress and i go no she's like then why do you need her input and i was like it's a good fucking i'll never forget that she goes stop calling your mom for things that you did that you that she's not a part of um because i used to always call my mom about everything every little thing and I just, if you relate to this at all, where you just keep calling someone, waiting to get the thing that you're looking for, which is validation that you're doing it right, sympathy, empathy, whatever it is.

My mom gives me the things that I, when I call her now, I know what to call her for because I know what my mom's capable of giving me. But I used to call her for things that I used to be like, Mom, I ruined my computer. And she'd be like, Nikki, why would you be drinking a cup of water next to your brand new computer? Oh, and it would just be like someone else to dig the knife in a little bit harder. It was like someone else to punish me knife in a little bit harder it was like someone else to to punish me the way that I wanted to be punished and it was like that was the best thing I ever got

from Miss Busieve was when I spilled water on my brand new computer and I want I was so I you know I didn't have a lot of money at the time and And even if I did, it was a $2,000 computer. And I poured water all over it. It shorted out. And I'm just like, I can't have nice things. It was just so validating that I, you know, it's been a while that I've stained, you know, the band. And I remember walking to the stand that night across, you know, I lived in Chelsea on the west side. I walked over the east side across town.

I walked by a dog and I was just like, I want that dog to fucking bite me. I just wanted... It's the same thing that when people cut themselves. You just want to be punished for the thing you know about yourself. You want to feel... You want to see an injury that is bad as how you feel. I can't explain it, but I really do.

I have that kind of self harmy Thing And self harmy hammer And I remember telling my Therapist that and she said And this helped me so much And it helps me all the time in life

She goes isn't the punishment That you lost your computer Isn't that the crime That's it And that's it. And that's how I kind of feel about when people like, you know, kill someone in a car accident and they're like, you need to go to jail. It's like, don't you think the punishment of murdering someone and is good enough is, is a punishment enough? Do we need to do more? And it's like, that's where I kind of, and you can relate to that to anything in your life

that you want to punish yourself for, especially if it's something that you're already suffering. It's like, that's the punishment. Stop it. Be nice to yourself now because you poor thing, you just lost your computer. Be nice. Does any of this resonate?

It does, but the murder thing lost me a little bit, just in a sense because. I know we always get back to this. Yeah. I just think. I just don't know why you're murdering sociopathically like you always go so from computer being broken to the most extreme thing possible and i think you skip a bunch of steps in between those i'm talking about a uh a texting and driving situation, even an impaired driving situation. One in which, by the way, everyone listening that's going,

no, my brother was killed or my... Listen, it's fucking as tragic as fuck, but we've all been distracted driving. No one has mistakes happen. And I don't think that person should have to go to jail forever. My point is, it'd be different if you crash your car and the punishment is you wrecked your car and it's just your car.

But once you kill another life... I have to say, if I killed someone accidentally because I was being careless... But do you see the difference? The analogy works better with the car than killing someone. Yeah, but I'm taking it all the way. I'm taking it all the way and saying that I actually believe this. And I could be wrong and this could lose us listeners because people go, I give up on Nikki. But I'm not being, I'm not diminishing life or saying that that

person has a right to be careless when drive, just keep driving, texting. Like how many times if on a smaller scale, have you learned a lesson from making a grave mistake? And how many times have you been lucky enough to not, when you've been distracted driving, to not have plowed into a family that was crossing a street? Like, this is the thing. It could happen to any of us. And I know there are some circumstances where it's like someone blasted drunk driving, you know, totally erratically. But, like, there are times where people are texting and driving or whatever and people just go walk her away forever and it's like i i understand being angry but if i was texting and driving which i do not do well um if i was looking at my phone looking at a ways

you know we all look at our phone for directions. Don't act like you're better than me. Like we all edit our special when we drive. Yeah. We're all have three computers on our laps in the driver's seat. The car has a computer that you look at. Like, what are we talking about?

Like, you know what I mean? Like the car, sometimes it doesn't connect. Well, maybe you're looking at that's what i'm saying there's a tv in your car right right yes so if if that happened i think having to live with the fact that i did that is so is is punishment enough i get what you're saying i'm not gonna just go oh oh i got off let

me just go to fucking kohl's and go on a shopping spree like i don't i don't know why that was my day after i get let off from uh you know involuntary manslaughter but like i i'm going to suffer the rest of my life like it's having the weight of having taken someone's life by your negligence is brutal and in ways i guess i would want to go to jail because just like the dog biting i would want to be punished in a way that made me feel like i was paying for what i've done but i don't think it's right i mean i don't think you should go for life but i think you know several years could work okay But several is not a lot. Several.

Oh my God. We got to go to break. I didn't even get that call back. That was good, dude. Let's go to break. We'll come back with the news. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How To Money will help you to change your relationship with money

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Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, you guys. I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events,

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Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people

you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations.

Like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Andrew. Hey, let's get to the news. Let's do it, bro. You heard it here first.

Yeah, you heard it here first. Yeah, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means? It is Tuesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there, except for you, Larry. Ooh, my first kiss. Yeah, that's who I'm coming

after. Larry Nassar. Oh my God, that was a lot of girls' first kiss, let's be honest. 380 million they got Which is fucking awesome Wait what? Yeah They got

I think the lawsuit's over They got The settlement The settlement 380 million dollars Which That's a lot of Parallel bars

Divided between how many? Huh? Divided between how many lawyers? I'm just kidding Oh yeah I know How many girls? I don't know I don't know

That's a good question though I mean 380 When you divide it And then taxes And then lawyers Yeah each girl's enough to be violated in that way. And I'm sure someone's like, well, maybe he accidentally did it, Nikki. Why don't you forgive him? That's different.

When does it stop? What if he's texting and fingering, Nikki? Ooh. All right. Sorry, that was probably over the top. No, I was responding to my own thing. I wasn't doing your thing. Okay, let's get to it.

People on social media. I can see it now. Do it, do it. People on social media are outraged over a video of teachers scrambling to scoop dollar bills at a hockey rink for the Dash for Cash event aimed to raise money for school supplies. Oh, okay. Did you see this video?

No. They have teachers on their knees throwing dollar bills in front of people, cheering them on like they're like rats trying to get cheese just so they could pay for supplies for their school. The money was donated to the South Dakota Business CU Mortgage Direct was meant to go towards the teachers' classrooms or schools. Each of the teachers got hundreds of dollars ranging between $378 to $616.

Critics on social media called the contest cruel and dystopian. Yeah, it almost squid-gamed me. They pointed out lack of funding and pitting teachers against each other. Yeah, a fifth grade teacher who participated said, critics on social media called the contest cruel and dystopian yet almost squid gamey they pointed out lack of funding and pitting teachers against each other yeah a fifth grade teacher who participated said i think it's really cool when the community offers an opportunity like this for things a lot of times uh that educators a lot of times pay out of pocket for you know it's there's a there's a fun game element though just scrambling for cash and i know that it looks sad

because it's like this is just stuff that should be provided. They used to do it on game shows all the time. Yes. But I guess those people were spending it on a jet ski, though. Yeah, on things that they need for their career. You know, little mats to put on the floor for the reading nook. I mean, it is wild that teachers have to come out of pocket for school supplies. I don't know why anyone's a teacher. Nook. I mean, it is wild that teachers have to come out of pocket for school supplies.

I mean, it's... I don't know why anyone's a teacher. Thank fucking God for teachers. But, man, that is a really rough... I mean, I do know why people are teachers. They fucking care about kids. And it's rewarding. And getting their summers off. Summers off.

But it is... No, I know. Itmers off. But it is, it pays so, it doesn't pay enough. And it is, you know, I think thankless. And parents are fucking terrible now. They all think their child's

just the most special thing. And now teachers are getting in trouble for giving out homework. You know, it used to be like, you would get in trouble for not doing your homework. And the teacher would call the parent about like, hey, they aren't doing their work. Now the parent calls the teacher and says, you're giving too much homework. In what world? I mean, I would have loved for that scenario to be happening back in the day.

But it was like teachers used to be respected and like they know what's better than the the the parent it's just yeah i i guess though like you know i read that quote by the woman and she participated in it so it's like why are we listening to anyone except for the people that participated that did it that liked it yeah i i always find that interesting it kind of it's like um i saw a video of like cultural appropriation like this guy was dressed in like as a mariachi band and people were like how could you do that like how could you dress in a mariachi band was like we love it thank you for promoting us. I appreciate it. Like, thank you for, like, not thinking we're invisible, you know? And it's just, I don't know. It's just interesting.

It's like. People taking up for other people. And it's like, you might think this is, you know, when people ever say about girls on Instagram, you know, posing slightly slutty or whatever. And it's like, it's so sad. She's so sad. It's sad it's so bad like girl you don't have to do that it's like that's that's what you're putting on it don't do that to her or porn like i watch porn sometimes and i go oh this girl i just want to give her a hug and it's like you don't know what nikki shut up she might be like liking this and um and people could say that about me you know

oh you don't need to do this nikki and talk about these things it's like but you're not me just back off and i and you know when do you stick up for someone when do you go when they ask are you okay when they ask for it i guess but what if she's a what if someone's being held against their will or what if someone is you know not able to actually stand up for themselves? You see a lot of times there are just people that have been – come from abusive families where they didn't learn how to have autonomy and boundaries. And you see them being trampled on or being rude to a Starbucks employee being yelled at or or maybe a customer being you know and then you take it upon yourself to like defend them when is that okay and when is that like you don't know well i guess like you know earlier you were like teachers i don't know how you do it but then i

guess there are some teachers that are like you're right nikki like this job fucking is thankless and sucks and then i couldn't do it yeah and then i'm sure i require constant validation of we appreciate you and you are great and this is you know and i'm not saying i couldn't do it i hate when people go i could never live in new york i could never get on stage i'm like yes you could if you if you had my brain and life yeah it'd be very easy for you yeah um so i could be a teacher um and i don't mean to go like talk down to teachers in any way i was just like i i just am really grateful for teachers yeah like i just i know that it's even the ones that love it and would never want to do anything else and are going to stick it through no matter what i know that it sucks and that you don't get the appreciation

that you deserve. And maybe you don't want it. You know, maybe you don't need that. I was talking to Kirsten at breakfast today about I'm not good at like thanking people sincerely in person. It's just very uncomfortable for me to be like, I appreciate you and like looking someone in the eye and doing it. I'm much better at like sharing my sentimental feelings in a letter or like an email or a text like so they can have it and process it on their own much like the fan threats like i love when people give me letters at the show because i just even a birthday card i'm like can i just open this later or a gift on my birthday i'm always like can i not open it in front of you it's too much i just don't want i don't know what that says about me but maybe you don't want to see the reaction because it won't live up to what you want maybe no it's not that like i i just it's too many feelings for me it's

too emotional yeah and i'm just very uncomfortable with that much sincerity i'm not good at making sincere speeches eulogies me neither yeah um yeah i just i buckle um and kirsten and i were talking about how you know i was i was kind of getting defensive so i was there was someone in my life who was like you know we don't really hear thank you from you a lot for this thing and I'm like but I thank you with like my I show it in other ways and they're like yeah like you know money and buying you things and things like that and uh the guy I'm dating was like you know sometimes people even if you're paying them well or well enough, you know, they're not doing it for the money. If they wanted money, they would go do something else. They're doing it because they have pride in what they're doing and they like that they're helping your life and that they're bringing, they're like a part of a thing.

And they do it because they want the accolades. They want the, they have, so that does matter. That is currency to them and you need to stop avoiding your feelings and how grateful you are for these people by throwing money at them, which is obviously nice to do and people would probably prefer that over thank yous, but why not do both? So I'm trying to force myself to be more grateful, which I can't. I mean, now I should go into like,

you guys, at the end of the year, I just want to say to you and Noah, you're going to get a card from me and said, I can't do it right here. But I'm just not good with that. Are you guys, do you relate to that? I guess it depends if there's going to be a bonus in there. But gratefully saying that.

Right. great but gratefully saying that right am i yeah no i have a lot of trouble with that obviously like i it's so hard for me to be sincere like i remember when i would try to like i wrote that one horrendous movie and i remember someone that read it they're like can you like make the like the scene where he's saying he loves this woman or he's happy for them like for her i don't know what that was that's okay we just heard a beep um can you make it like more sincere and what and i right i couldn't i i don't know what those words are like i can't do it i don't know the vocabulary for it because i didn't hear it as a kid like i just didn't my parents weren't that way that wasn't how we communicated we communicated through money like or like things like that's how i knew my dad liked me because you know i got a car when i was 16 not because he sat me down and he explained you know

why i'm great or something like that. You know? Yeah, I got a lot of that as a kid from my dad. And I think it made me deeply uncomfortable to hear how great I was because I didn't believe it. Well, he ended it with babe. And I just thought they were just saying it. He ended it with babe, you know? Yeah, I mean, I'd always loved a weird taste in my mouth, especially after we made out. Why did he smoke cigars that day?

It was – no, I love the taste of cigars. Let's get off this. What the fuck are we talking about? Let's get on it. All right. Yeah, it's hard for me to be sincere. But when I do it, it feels really good. And I'm really good at it when I write letters and I can write.

But I'm very uncomfortable in person doing it. But I was wondering with Brenna, does she – because I know you cut everything with jokes. Like the most sincere, saddest moments you will still – sometimes I have to be like – if I'm like – maybe it's not a sentimental, like emotional moment, but it's something I'm like frustrated about or like want to stay in the, I need to express my anger about something to you, not at you. Yeah, you'll give me that. Let's say it's a thing in my life. Sometimes we'll just go, I'll go like, and I don't know, I'm just feeling like so full of, and I go, don't make a cum joke right now.

Like, you know, like I have to even say that to you. Like, don't, I go, don't make the joke about that i'll say a turn a turn of phrase that i'm like oh he's gonna make that joke and i'll predict it and go just please don't make that joke i can't handle a joke right now i just want to stay in this does brenna ever want you to be more like because we go baby baby i miss you i miss you and that's almost like yeah which it's saying what you really feel but it's making it and i do i do miss you baby um and uh i you know i i think i know you well enough where like i know when not to make that kind of joke i think like even before you tell me not to make the joke i i know our relationship well enough where like and then with brenna yeah there's times where, like, I don't know if, like, we've gotten in, like, arguments over it.

But it's, like, can you just, like, I'm not that open with her. I don't, you know, I know I, like, it would seem like I'd be that way. But, like, I tend to avoid serious conversation at all costs. No, I know you don't. Because I'm afraid of what I'll be asked. And that that or not like like asked to do or whatever and then i'll feel like well um my actions are showing all this why do i need to verbalize it or like am i going to be asked to do something that i don't think

is reasonable so i avoid it because i'm afraid that i'm not in your fate of the the answer you don't want yes we talked about this like a lot of times you're afraid of the the answer you don't want yes we talked about this like a lot of times you're like I don't ask you the thing because I'm scared you're gonna say no and I'm like but no is an answer that is acceptable yes so you need to be okay with that and that's that's the thing and and and that's what I do you know we're talking about it yesterday like things you're scared of you have to consider the worst case scenario and be like okay can I handle that like that is an appropriate thing to happen in this circumstance it could happen is that is that because is do i have to take that personally yeah it's so funny i was just talking

to um chris about this the other day about how there is no way like there are maybe zero people I can think of where if you told them a criticism, like, let's just say, you know, someone's always late or something or, you know, someone sitting too close to you or like a friend. I don't think there's anyone that you can confront about something, a criticism, and they won't have a knee-jerk defensive reaction first is there any way to present something of like so that they don't go but i but oh but but it's because of this like every no one likes to be criticized even if it's something that is not a you know moral judgment on them you're just like hey this is my thing it's nothing to do with you i just appreciate you know a heads up if you're gonna be late according to therapists the way to do that is by saying that i feel statement when you do this it makes me feel x y and z i think i think when but isn't it like people can't make you feel something isn't that a therapy thing like then you're blaming them for your feelings i think the best um as long as you say you you you it's like your act when you do this action

i've it makes me feel uncomfortable is there a way that it sometimes people's actions do make you feel a way like this whole thing of like they can't make you feel that way sometimes people unintentionally do make you feel a way and that's okay but you can't get they're a bad person i mean i guess you could get mad but it's harder to get mad at someone for a way that they feel oh boy not in my family don't feel that way why do you feel that way i think that uh or i feel i feel that i think um that feel, no, I think when it's like, I have trouble with critiques when I feel like the person. You can say you. No, but it's not just you. It's like anyone in my life, but it's mostly you, I feel.

No, but like if they're doing doing something similar maybe it's not that thing to be critical yeah and i find it hypocritical and and i think a way to do that be like look i suck at leaving my bag out per se on the outside in the living room that being said you know i get forgetful sometimes too in regards to the dryer sheet thing whatever can you clear that out I know I'm fucking forgetful too I do it too and then I'd be like yeah dude fucking yeah of course as opposed to like you got to take this out then I'm like fuck you you leave your bag out like you know what I mean and I think that's yes when it I like how you change the thing in the beginning so that it's you didn't accuse me of the thing

that you're in yeah that was very that was very shifty of what you just did but then it all came to truth at the end um no that's what but that's where i get annoyed it's like just it's not a two-way street just because i don't like this these are different things like it's not always an eye for an eye and yes there's different ways of saying like you need to do this like there could be like hey next time you do this do you mind doing this I don't need to I don't think anyone let alone myself needs to always give a caveat of like I do this too and here's a way that I do it like I know I'm not perfect we're allowed to have criticisms of others to to you know complement the boundaries we want for ourselves without having to there's always going to be hypocrisy like for example i don't mind if

the guy i'm dating fucks other women i just don't care it's not a thing it doesn't make me jealous it's my weird thing i know though that they don't feel just because they they get to do it does not mean I get to do it I'm not allowing them to do that because I'm like oh that means I can do it it's it's it's not a two-way street it's it's I like it I have my own preferences and they have their own preferences so when it comes to dryer sheets and leaving bags out I leave bags out you don't put the dryer you don't empty the dryer tray those can independently i'm not saying the dryer thing in a world where i am perfect it's just one thing that i specifically in that moment think about and it doesn't need the caveat of like but you do this it can still

just be does does that make sense yeah i just but the whole thing of like it's not a two-way street that comes up the eye for an eye no but the two-way street thing of like, it's not a two-way street. That comes up. The eye for an eye is just weird. No, but the two-way street thing when you go, it's not a two-way street. I could do it. That doesn't mean you, that just comes. But you can do it. You can yell at me about the bag and I don't have to go.

But you leave the dryer sheet. It can just be like, I like a tidy spot. And you've never brought up the bag before. It's so obnoxious when you inadvertently do things. You've never once complained to me. That's why. I don't do it. Because I don't have an issue with it. But you could just say, hey, Nikki, I like a tidy space. Do you mind putting your stuff

away? And I would be able to handle that instead of you passive-aggressively bringing it up on here. It's just so annoying. It's not passive-aggressive. Putting it into a scenario that is a hypothetical? That's the definition of passive.

This is the difference. I don't care that you leave the bag out. I'm using it as an example. I never care. I really don't. Oh. Well, okay, then that's different. But that's the difference.

But that's what I'm saying. It's not a two-way street. If you don't care, I do care about the dryer sheet. It's just a thing I care about. I'm different than you. You don't care about the bag. That doesn't mean that they're not they're not the same then and i'm not saying that if you even if you did care about the bag it's not this you're allowed to have that sure uh

independent of the dryer sheet conversation you know we're every time that you can get criticized this is what you know the left and right do well you did this no well you did this and it's like no one's ever fucking accountable then because you could always go well I you're not perfect and it's like okay well then let's all just fucking ruin the world and never have to face you know take accountability for the things that we're doing and it's like that I'm I'm saying this as someone who makes mistakes all the time and is does have those knee jerk reactions of being like, well, you do this. And I'm even saying to myself, you don't have a right to throw it back in their face of like, but you know, but you do. You do have that right.

You're saying you I don't believe you have the right to tell the person that they're fucking up. Well, that person that you told. Yeah, but I don't think it should come from a place of like, I'm defending myself. It should come independently of that in a different scenario. It was like, oh, okay. You can't make the rule. You can't make the rule and then it just abides for you. Do you understand that?

Like, you can't say. I'm not saying it abides for me. I'm saying that you can bring up the bag. Let's say the bag thing ticked you off. You could bring that up, but it doesn't need to be like, well, well the dryer sheet i don't know why you're complaining about the dryer sheet you leave your bag out all the time that is not the way to handle an argument the way to handle it is go oh you know what i do need to be better about this and while we're at it like i guess since we're in this like kind of conversation a thing that's been annoying me is that you leave your

bag out it's not the same as but you do this it's not a defensiveness it's a separate thing that oh this reminds me of this but it's but do you understand it's not defending but do you understand the initial of the dryer sheet of how you come at the person that's how they're going to react to you so when you say i don't need to give the caveat i don't need to go well i do this i don't need to be if you back up you'll tell me i said that it's not nice to go do this dryer sheet i said hey next time you're doing the dryer sheet that would be the the way i presented is not good sometimes it's like a that's what i'm saying so then you're gonna get a knee-jerk response back that's the whole point i agree i agree so it's like like it the initial knee-jerk response if

it's if it's it comes from kindness and a way of out of love, then you're going to get love back. But if it comes out of a way of spiteful and like you shouldn't do this and you talk down to the person, then you're going to get a shitty reaction back. I agree. That's all. It's not a big deal. I just – it is what it is. But I think we got somewhere On that

Do you guys want to go To the next news story Oh fuck off Noah Please What is the next news story It's right there Can you see it or no It's probably something really silly

Go ahead Nick Do you want to do it A study shows that most people have napped on the job. Nappers seem to have a better quality of life, actually, but non-nappers were likely to make more money. All right, well, this is interesting. The ideal nap time is 20 to 30 minutes. To feel more creative,

respondents felt that a 10 to 20-minute nap was plenty. 53% of nappers had also received promotions in the last year compared to 35 of non-nappers 70 of americans say they regularly they're regularly sleep deprived possibly explaining the need for an afternoon nap to get through the day um yeah this makes sense you know but i don't think the amount of money you make for not you're gonna die before you get to spend it because if you don't know i i'm i'm trying to prioritize sleep so much more because it really it is the number one thing to look your best i mean i'm doing it out of vanity more than like i want to extend my life doesn't matter i just look like shit if i haven't slept wait when do you think

though like let's say someone has a nine to five job. Do we make a little nap room? Like, what do we do? We have them sleep at the desk? I absolutely, I did that at my office. When I had not safe, I would say, if anyone wants to nap at some point, please take that. I think that's great. I just, I think that's great.

Naps are, but some people just can't nap. And I, and I don't like that whole, I can't nap. It's like, like i i just think that people don't try they just go no i'm different and it's like you need to do a white noise machine you need to do a sleep mask you need to do earplugs whatever you what version of that you need dark you need a cold dark room and you need to just try and it's it's maybe not going to work the first time that's you know through 20 times but eventually you should figure out if you're someone that does not get enough sleep you you gotta get that yeah there's something like um the hustle aspect the toughness of like i sleep four hours a night and then i work 28 hours so cool, that used to be so cool. It still is in the dialogue of so many people.

It's so funny. Last night I had that little kind of, last night I almost pulled an, I could have pulled an all-nighter to get that thing done, and I was like, no, no, I'm not doing that anymore. I have a due date for this, and I am late on the due date, and people are going to be annoyed,

but my health for the rest of the month is dependent on me sleeping tonight and getting at least five hours instead of two yeah i mean i would be in it's just it's not cool to not get sleep anymore stop being that is the curse thing well it's good to be like i didn't sleep in spain in In Spain. I worked so hard. In Spain, they literally have a siesta. Like, that's like part of their life. Now, granted, they stay up very late. They eat dinner very late. Like, that's just their like culture.

But they have a siesta. Like, they do it. And they're fine. You know, all these countries that have like four-day work weeks, they're fine. And I know that people out there are like, I can't fit eight hours of sleep, Nikki. It's just not in my schedule. You deserve eight hours of sleep. It is a God-given right.

You figure out – you've got to figure out a way to get it. You're going to die soon. You're going to get cancer soon, sooner than the rest of people that that sleep better like when you don't get good sleep it just they you know listening to that sam harris podcast that he did with that sleep guy they were talking about you know all these people who are famous for like only needing five hours of sleep or less a night winston churchill um i think it was margaret thatcher they're going through the list list of these famous people that don't need a lot of sleep. They all died from early onset Alzheimer's. Ronald Reagan.

They're all – it destroys you on the back end. And you're not – it's almost like not eating. I think when you have kids, when you have kids, it's like it's like that's why i don't want i know i know i think like that's like the number one thing is like your kid wakes up at six not to mention crying throughout the night like so those i think if you're a new parent for the first two years you're all your company should give you an hour of nap time in between well i think people should consider that before they have kids well that's another thing who who doesn't who doesn't know that you're gonna lose sleep with kids if sleep is something you prioritize in your life don't have kids until

you can get the help that you need so that that kid that you can get the right sleep i would never have a child unless i could fit in naps i would never do it because that's how important it but I really really the first thing if I I would rather go like if I see a week of work for myself and there's no sleep involved I start panicking a lot uh much more than if it's like oh I have to you know go bungee jumping or something like something that would be uncomfortable for me the thing i dread more than anything is lack of sleep so i just when parents complain about oh i'm not sleeping i'm just like this isn't the 20s where or the 50s even where you just had to have kids and there's no options for you you chose this don't do it until until you can afford to yeah but then that's like 80 of people couldn't do it then or more.

Well, then you just, I mean, well, then maybe it's more important to you to have kids than to sleep. Yeah. And you could still complain about it. I don't mind that. But the people that act like. No, but I feel like companies like. Confused by it is weird.

But I think of companies like, you know, like companies like, I feel like Facebook and Google, you talk to people who like go through their things. I guarantee they have rest – like nap rooms and like where you get to play ping pong and then sleep for an hour and then you got to like work. We're too caffeinated though. That's the other – yeah, that's true. Because your body wants sleep and then we take all these stimulants. Caffeine, it makes it so you can't nap even though your body is crying out for it your brain won't shut down because we're just

constantly pumping ourselves with caffeine i mean yeah we're so fucked and i know i'm gonna get hate for the kid thing but i just uh i i i i feel the same way about parents that i feel about teachers like i i couldn't do it because it's too much work. And I just don't think I'd get enough sleep. And maybe people don't prioritize that as much as me. Or they prioritize having kids is more important than that. So I don't mean to make you mad. I'm just saying I don't really.

And I do have sympathy for you when parents are sleepless. I've tried to buy my sister a fucking night nurse. All I want for the people I love and care about including you guys the besties listening is that you get good sleep if i could give you any gift it would be the gift of rest but when someone goes when someone has kids and keeps having kids and they are tired and they look like shit i'm like this is not a new concept. Mothers have been around forever complaining about the sleeplessness. It has been portrayed in media for generations.

Like, this is not a new. Don't be surprised when being a mother is fucking hard as fuck. And no one forced you to do it. Except if you live in texas but i feel you know even though let me just say i'll play devil's advocate for myself i remember andrew being like you know on my day off i don't want to go get you groceries and i said well i didn't know this day of work he goes you choose to work and i go i didn't know that day was going to be me with all my jobs lining up on one day. Like if you're a mother out there and you're like,

well, I couldn't have predicted that my son was going to need to go to hockey practice in the morning, that my daughter was going to go to dance and that I was going to have no space. You can't predict that far ahead. Sure, I believe that. But, and you still have a right to complain that you're tired and as did I,

because there are some times that life, even though you can see it coming and you think, you know, it's going to happen, it can throw you a curveball. Or I didn't know my child was going to be special needs. And that's a whole other thing. But I still, you know, with my career, when my career is special needs, sometimes I do want like i'm poor me but i go i chose this no one asked me to do this it is true but i that doesn't mean i can't ask for help and that's that's you should still ask for help if your mother's out there yeah you deserve it and i just and i noticed i didn't say fathers because let's be, being a father would be pretty fucking cush. I told Kirsten this morning, I was like, if anything ever happens to your husband, I'll like have a baby with you and I'll just be the father.

And she was like, really? And I was like, do you want to do you want to organize something to take care of him? But I would love to be a dad just go make money and then you know hang out with that like be a fun dad but like not have to do all the the child rearing and that's the way that's the only way i'm gonna be able to have kids because that's i know that's that's the only way i'll be the best parent possible. Right? Yeah. Well, in some relationships, that role is reversed, where the woman goes out and works, and the father stays mostly at home to take care of the kids.

And becomes bitter and hates the wife. That's not true. I mean, vice versa, too. No, I'm just... The other day, I was telling the person I'm dating, they were talking about finances and stuff, and I go, you know, if we ever got married, like I go,

not even me, but like if you married a woman that made a lot of money, you wouldn't have to necessarily work, you know? And, but I've heard so many, but what if I wanted to buy a $10,000 bike for like, just for fun with your money. And I go,

but if we were married, it wouldn't be my money. It would be ours. And you could buy that $10,000 bike. I would have to be okay with that like and then i said you know your sister is married to a guy if she wanted to spend you know ten thousand dollars which is you know for their income a big gift but like a thing they can afford on something frivolous a car that she doesn't need or a you know a procedure she just really cared about no one would go but that's his money everyone would go but she she raises the kids and everything

she deserves it but men for some reason just go no i've got to earn it myself and i'm like no well i've heard support a man i've heard countless women say that if the guy doesn't make as much money as her or isn't a hard worker like isn't a certain like type of way of of earning money that they lose attraction to them like that's been something that's been said many times and you can like that man is not well that that woman requires that and okay but i i'm just saying that's been the norm for a long time. Like I really do think, and I've heard it before. So it's not like I'm just like making it up. Yeah, no, no, no.

It's true. Women do like need, they want to be financially taken care of. That matters to them. Not all of them though. No, not all of them. Yeah, I want a man who's going to make sure the fridge is stocked and make sure the apartment is clean. Not doing it himself, but like hiring the right people. Making sure deliveries get there in time.

Folding up boxes. Emptying the dryer sheet. Putting my bags away. Like that's how I will feel horny for a guy. I really would. Acts of service. Let's take a quick break and come back with Why Do I Care? 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges

and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, you guys. I'm Katherine Legg.

I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events, starting at the Indy 500. Join me as I travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing. I'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career.

We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula 1. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and

Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests, people like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord

Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.

Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe,

and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Andrew, why do I care? Why do I care?

In her latest interview with Howard Stern, Billie Eilish reveals she started watching porn at 11. Watched a lot of it and that it negatively impacted her for her first sexual experience. She calls porn a disgrace and is angry that porn is loved. I can't wait to hear this interview.

Have you listened yet? I have. I tried to listen to it. I've only heard bits and pieces. She says, I think it's really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn. The first few times I, know had sex i was not saying no to things that were not good it was because i thought that what i was supposed to be attracted to was that so i'm so angry though so she said i'm angry that porn is so loved and i'm so angry at myself for thinking that it was

okay the way that vaginas looking porn is crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women's bodies don't look like that. We don't come like that. I love it. You know, she's right. I think that porn is really bad for young people. And older people, too. I mean, I'm absolutely addicted to porn.

And it has changed the way I perceive my own body, the way I enjoy sex. I love porn. I don't want to give it up. It's not something that I feel like is ruining my life or my sexual life. I feel like actually porn is my sexual life sometimes for a lot of my life when I don't have a partner. I'm really grateful for it. But I do acknowledge that it ruins lives all the time and um a lot more than anyone's talking about so i'm glad billy brought this up yeah it's uh i guess when you're

younger and you watch porn and then you're like oh i guess my first time i'm just gonna be bent over doggy and like spit on and it's like well that's what it is as opposed to like a loving like connection where you're like really like you know connecting with the person you know porn is all about disconnection a lot of times the sex guys think they don't even i think i think there are guys that think that they don't mimic things they see in porn they think they're different than the guys that spit in girls mouths and yank their hair or like slap them and stuff you hear about like guys mimicking porn and they go i'm not like that you all are you all do stuff that you see in porn it's just you can't help it but it happens and it clap it you know well then you also hear like i live my life based on rom

coms you know like i i i view everything through a lens of like a fucking romantic comedy uh written by nora efron yeah and that's fucked up my perception of romance and you know fairy tales and disney movies also have really i was watching my special last night i have so many references to rom-coms and disney movies and i realize it's made so much of it's it's it's made me that was my life too crazy watching tv i just love the 90s yeah i love like the crush and the drama around it and then the moment when the crush is revealed and then like i used to role play with my ex-boyfriend like we have a crush on each other, and we've never told each other,

and we're sharing a bed because there's a storm at this conference that we're at, and they didn't have enough hotel rooms, and we have to share a bed, and we both always like each other. He goes, do you have a crush on someone in your life right now that you want to do this with? And I was like, no, I just want to do this. And it was like he was so dead on. I was so busted.

I know. And then you ask him to build you a house over time, over 10 years, and then you come back to this small town, and the house you dreamed of is built for you. Here's the problem, though. You get together, and then the credits roll. There's no, you never see, I don't know what happens next after that for me i have to

start the movie over again there's no when you get the guy there's no i don't know what happens next there's no there's no examples of that yeah you know even ross and rachel well okay well you he cheats on you and then you get mad at him and then you take him back and then you get mad at him again it's just this constant my life needs to look like a season of Friends. Yeah, you don't see them. I just can't have happiness. It cannot sustain because who would want to watch that? And a lot of those shows, all the rawness and the sadness gets taken out with like,

hey, he cheated on me. And then you think that's how life is. And then you watch like the show, that marriage show that was just on. And then you're like, oh, okay. That's, that seems a little,

at least a little bit more, almost too real. Then people are like, oh, it's too real. It's too much. Like, like, you know what I mean? Like shows are either like in your face,

like crushing or they're like, ah, he cheated. i have to say though the friends i don't i don't know if you're familiar with when um ross cheated on rachel they were on a break yeah okay and he he went out and he slept with this woman yeah and she found out about it because gunther told her because gunther was in love with her and fucking Gunther the whole thing was like we were on a break and she's like we weren't on a like we were but that didn't mean you she could fuck another girl and he he thought that she was done with him and so he got drunk and slept with this girl and you know I remember being in like seventh grade watching that being like

that fucking whore who took Ross from Rachel like I was so mad at the girl instead of Ross. So stupid. I was like her dumb spiky blonde hair. She's not even cute. And she like, I just had so much and I hated Emily. I hated anyone that was between Ross and Rachel. And the thing is like,

they did explore how hurtful that was. There was some really good scenes where he's just like, Rach, please. And she's just like, I can't, why would you do this to me? And it really was sad and gripping.

And man, those scenes are good. My favorite scene ever, though, for two people getting together, I've watched it a million times. It's legit porn to me, is when Jim tells Pam that he's in love with her. She's like, it's after the casino night and that Michael Scott throws for the company on the boat no I'm thinking it's a it's a casino night and then uh you know you know Jenna or uh Pam is dating that Roy guy at this they're engaged so Roy they're they're going outside and uh she's gonna get a ride home from gym because she's gonna

stay later and she's saying goodbye to Roy Roy like drives off and he's like hey watch my lady tonight jim and jim's like take care and then they're walking and you can just tell that jim's like he's just needs to say it and she's like he's like i need to talk to you about something she's like about me taking more of your money because i can do that like she's like keeping it light like the casino night she's like about me like take and he just goes i'm in love with you and she's just like what and it's just such a good scene and he's like i just i just needed you to know and she's like jim no like i value your friendship and he goes don't do that don't do that don't say that and she's like so much and he's like don't do that I don't want that I don't want that and she's like I can't

and he's like okay well I just needed you to know and he's like so mad he's like mad but sad then he walks away and then it cuts to the scene back at the casino party and then it goes to the scene in the office and you just see her silhouette in the office and it's dark and she's calling your mom she's like i don't know mom he just said it and you can hear her mom like you don't hear mom but she's like do you love him too and she's like i don't know i i think i do and then you just see jim walk in and he like hears the conversation and he just goes up to her and kisses her it's so fucking good is anyone else out there any other besties watch these kinds of scenes and if you i think i've asked for these before will you send me more of them someone sent me the pride and prejudice ones oh that was good too she was on the phone with her mom like you've got mail ending i

wanted it to be you i wanted it to be you so badly mom okay let's get to the reddit mom does jim love me also what mattress do you think is best? I love that she called her mom. Yeah, that's such a, I would totally do that. My mom's like, I don't want to hear about this. Yeah, shut up. My mom would have no interest in this. Karaoke mom.

I like Roy. This is your Reddit talk. This is something I saved from the subreddit Antinatalism, which is people who don't want to have kids. Antinatalism. And this is a tweet that someone shared from a guy named TheyLoveKJ. They with two Ys. Little kid's talking about when I grow up.

Little kid's talking about, quote, when I grow up. Man, it's 70 in December. You ain't growing up lmao i'm gonna share that on my story later it's like it's so true china is gonna take over the world is literally crumbling russia has finally acknowledged that uh climate change is a crisis like russia's even like yeah this is bad um it's not looking good um uh this is an adorable thing from made me smile that i'm gonna play it's just a guy on tiktok interviewing kids and his account is called like recess underscore therapy and there's this little kid i wanted to

show him to you oh okay and that's the guy interviewing him and he's just like a little kid he's so cute he's probably like uh six years old six or seven and he's the guy interviewing him And he's just like a little kid, he's so cute He's probably like Six years old, six or seven And he's talking about his favorite animal And I just want to play this If you could talk to Commodore Dragons, what do you think you'd say to them? I love you, you're so nice

What do you think they'd say to you? I think they'd just say thank you Do you think they'd say I love you back? Oh yeah just say, thank you. Do you think they'd say, I love you back? Oh, yeah, maybe. What would you do if you went to Penidia? I would just ride on all the Komodo dragons, but I know that Komodo dragons eat people. Wait, what? They eat people.

What? This special animal eats people. Are you afraid of them? Nuh-uh. Not at all? Definitely not. They can eat people, which is so special. Do you want to see an animal eat a people?

Actually, definitely, yeah. Why? Because it's like, I've never seen an animal eat a person. But you want to. Yeah. Even though they might eat me, still love them they're the best basically right right basically isn't that so cute and so dark he's kind of leading him to be

to talk like a kid because you do hear did you hear him go you don't even you'd still like them if they eat a people that's what the interviewer said he goes yeah it's still like them if they ate a person he's like stop talking to me like yeah i know exactly i'm talking about someone getting destroyed by a dragon i know what i'm saying yeah the kid is like they're trying to make okay and then this is maybe the cutest thing i've ever seen i i saved this the other night this is from made me smile as well the subreddit this is uh it says she likes to balance farm birds on her head and it is a probably two or it's probably three and a half year old girl that just likes to put chickens on her head and it sounds not cute but i swear to you you gotta go watch this it's on made me smile

and you can find it with she likes to balance farm animals on her farm birds on her head i'll show you a little bit of this oh that is really cute the music makes it i know this is bad for audio, but we can cut it. Okay. It's just her balancing. Look at this outfit that she's wearing. Look how cool she looks.

I just love a little girl who don't give a fuck and has parents that dress them like super cool. And I don't even know how that turned into like a talent that she likes. It's so cute. Okay. This is from the subreddit Science. As many as half of all drinkers underestimate how drunk they were judging themselves still safe to drive despite having exceeded the legal driving limit in new research published today okay so what does that tell you when you get drunk the part of your brain that goes, I'm too drunk to drive, gets drunk.

Yeah. So you, people always go, I'm just going to have a couple. Well, the person that only is going to have a couple gets drunk. And that person is no longer steering the ship. So as many as half of all drinkers underestimate how drunk they were. Yeah. How is that research from today? That just tells you.

How is that research from today?'s that research how's that research from today like didn't we all know that i mean i would have guessed probably that would have just as a good reminder dude i've only had like out there i've only had like nine drinks over like seven hours like i'm fine like what is wrong with you like don't where's car? That's not even a car. I'm on top of it. Oh my God, I just fucked the exhaust. You know, it's like. I love, that was the best thing about not drinking was never being drunk when I'm,

like never being, if I get pulled over, the calmness is so much more. Because it, you know, you would feel like you were fine maybe you drank the night before and in the morning even like it could be in your system still you just still have like guilt constantly like maybe i smell like it or something like when you have that freedom of not having that or even with pot too when i quit pot like just not worrying at the airport not worrying about literally never having to worry. It's like getting, it's like when you go and I used to party and like maybe I would like do two bumps of cocaine in Mexico and then you get on the plane and you see a drug dog

and you're like, I have a lot of coke in my bag. Even though like I didn't buy it. I didn't even, I like barely even snorted it. And I'm like, I have seven kilos in my bag and it's yeah yeah just that peace of mind i always used to say when i quit drinking like i used to always be scared that i would repeat myself i would tell stories when i was drunk and then people the next day would go you said that to us last night what were you blacked out and be so embarrassing so i started just not telling stories ever when i was sober because i just didn't want that reaction and um and i remember what a relief it was when i had some

sobriety in under my belt from drinking and people would go you know oh we met before and i go oh i don't remember and they i go when did we meet and they're're like, oh, it was December of 2012. And I go, oh, well, I was sober then. That's your fault. You're not interesting enough. It's not my fault anymore that I don't remember you. I used to always just have, or I didn't remember a story or a fact. And it's never your fault.

Even if you are losing your memory, I'm just like, my dad gets so mad at my mom because her memory is kind of going a little bit more because she's an aging woman. It just happens to everyone. And he gets mad at my mom because her memory is kind of you know going a little bit more because she's an aging woman it just happens to everyone and he gets mad at her and i go do you think she wants to forget this sucks don't make fun of her don't get mad just you know be gentle with people who can't remember but i always used to have so much regret let's get to the final thought okay this is from the subreddit damn that's interesting it says uh crazy to think that george judson will be conceived this weekend and this was two weeks ago but it says george judson on his wikipedia his birthday is august 27th 2022 and so that means that he was his parents had sex two weeks ago. Isn't that funny?

I liked that. Wait, he was conceived. Like in the world of the Jetsons, George Jetson was conceived. And, you know, they have flying little ships and they have robots. I know. I'm just trying to think like, you know, there was a flying car I saw onok where it's a car and then the wings come out from it are people gonna fly like these cars like is that gonna be a thing you think like do you really think that there's gonna be flying like like a person if there could be i think we would have

that i think that's what we'll head to if There's all these restrictions for drones, for flying drones. So there's no way they're going to put cars up in the air. Well, if we have super highways that we can manage it, I think it would be a thing. Okay, this is from TikTok cringe. And this says, this is a girl who's walking around. This is just like things on TikTok that make you cringe. And this is a girl that doesn't wear shoes ever anywhere. It's so gross

even to public restrooms dude she's just going everywhere with no shoes i don't even know how she gets in half these places because i i would i would feel so weird walking around barefoot if i had to go you know down the hallway to get some to the ice machine at the hotel with that i get uh i get i feel weird crunchy mom well I have yet to step in anything sharp, I know that one day I inevitably will step in glass. And it will hurt, yes, but not as bad as the severe foot pain wearing feet prisons has caused me.

She calls shoes feet prisons. I have a mission to live the one life that I have been given to the fullest. Were we not wearing feet prisons, we would experience the world mostly through our feet. Wearing shoes is like wearing a blindfold or noise-canceling headphones. Think about everything you're missing out on when you wear shoes especially right after it rains i choose not to wear shoes for the same reason i choose not to have epidurals or take

tylenol they want us disconnected from our mind body soul and the earth so that they can sell us products if you think this video is weird i would like to ask you a question who are you living for yourself or to appease advertisers and make other people more comfortable thoughts whoa thoughts i wonder she didn't have me until that last part i know i know that it sounded like noah to me that last part when i watched it initially i was like okay i was like she was calling shoes feet prisons and i was just like bitch you need them to protect yourself from glass and stuff where is she living by the way honestly we have calluses that do that that's why we grow calluses is to have like soles of our feet um i think it depends i mean i agree with her because my feet are mangled from shoes shoes cause bunions yeah but if you live cause if you live in st louis in

the winter you need you need shoes Shoes came out of necessity. That's a good point. They didn't come because of fashion. Let's say you live in a beach climate. Yeah, don't wear it. That's fine. People wear flip-flops, which is essentially almost barefoot. I mean, people don't wear shoes.

It's almost like not wearing deodorant. People are like, ew, but your feet are going to stink. And it's like, but I don't wear deodorant, so I don't stink because deodorant causes the stink. Shoes cause the stink, you know? Yes, but... Feet don't stink if you're not putting them in socks with moisture and mold. Noah? Well, I was going to say that last part about connecting to the earth and stuff.

That's the part I really like, and it's the reason why I enjoy camping. Yeah, the noise canceling headphones, the whatever other things she said. I'm thinking of condoms when she's talking. Yeah. Because you want to wear one so you don't get that girl pregnant. Yeah.

You don't want to have to keep that kind of person in your life. I don't want to be around her when she doesn't have an epidermal or whatever. Epidermal. Epidermal. Several epidermal several um all right well yeah it's something to think about i think that it's it is good to go barefoot and to connect with the earth and maybe you're right that is why like nature is so important but if you're in a fucking farming and stuff if you're at an out if you're at outback and you're shoeless it's it seems like a selfish decision. But if we

all didn't wear shoes, it wouldn't seem that weird. No, but I mean, if you're on a flight and you're sitting next to a guy and his feet are out, it's just a lot. It's gross because we are used to seeing shoes and we're not used to seeing feet, but that's the only reason it's gross. Look, I get that.

And the same with pubic hair or hair on a woman's legs like it's all based on marketing so she kind of has a point fuck i've wanted to make fun of her but i kind of agree with her until i think i'm in an enclosed space with you and i'm inside a shoe next to you you know what i mean like oh my god can i play one more noah yes, and then wrap it up. This girl is so, this is so amazing. Oh, she's like hot, too. Like, there's something about her that her confidence is just so sexy. She not wear a bra?

This is from TikTok Cringe. So sometimes TikTok Cringe just has good things, and I don't understand why, but this one is fucking great. It makes great points. No. Oh wait, so she's eating chips. Oh, you're pro-life? That's cool. So you're against war? No. You're pro-life. Pro-life.

No. Obviously you support gun control. No. Speak out against police brutality? No. Okay. Okay, so you foster and adopt children. No? You know there's over 400,000 kids

in the foster care system in America right now, right? Good. Let's see. You support mandatory parental leave for new parents. No? How about government programs to help fund those kids you wanted to be born? No?

No? So you're not really pro-life then, are you? I mean, at best, you're pro-fetus. That is if you don't support IVF. Oh, you do? Great. So then you're just pro-controlling women's bodies and people with uteruses. You're not pro-life.

Because, you see, a young girl gets pregnant, and you shame her. And then she has that kid that you want her to have and use government assistance like food stamps and wick and what do you do you shame her and then those kids unfortunately usually grow up in poverty and or abusive homes and have their own set of issues mental health issues drug abuse issues in and out of the prison system that you also don't want to reform and what do you do you shame them how about if they're born gay or trans? Do you support their rights then? No. You shame them. You're not really pro-life then, are you?

What's that? You don't do any of those things? You're just against abortion. Okay, I get that. So obviously you support things like better sex education in schools. I mean, this girl just dismantled anything you could say. But no, she just tears it apart.

She's amazing. Her name is I'm going to go to the end so you can find it and watch the rest of it. It's Nicole Caitlin K-A-T-E-L-Y-N-N 1. Nicole Caitlin 1 on TikTok. Makes me want to eat Doritos. I don't know why. Oh, it's so crunchy and she's so cool. She's just like, do you? No. It's hot too. There's something very cool. She's just like, do you? No.

It's hot, too. There was something very erotic about it at the ASMR. All right, guys. I'm probably gay. Have a great Wednesday. We won't be here tomorrow. Thursday, we will be back. Can't wait for that one.

And don't be cut. And Jack the Bald Tracks. Joel, the holidays are a blast. Back to the ballpark. Let's go, bro. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve,

Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour,

tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.