The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #154 Fruit Roll-Up and Fanthrax

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

Between you and Nikki, it might be best not to let your parents know about your attachment style. Andrew is shaking off his anxiety after driving through a blizzard to hang out with his girlfriend's family. To end the year they spend time going through all sorts of listener stories and messages. Nikki's mom calls with some holiday cheer but Nikki wants to know more about her Instagram post. While the show is off stay tuned to our Instagram @NikkiGlaserPod for some Coffee & Teabags live sessions. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape

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Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts radio app, Apple Podcasts,, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday

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Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He the adult entertainment industry i really wanted to be a player boy my dog he was like i'll take you to the top i'll make you a star to expose an

alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in it's honestly so much worse than i had anticipated we're an army in comparison to him from novel listen to the bunny trap on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Here I am, chewing my breakfast. I apologize. Or if you're someone like me who likes to listen to people chew, it's a very rare person.

You're welcome. Luigi, you want to sit next to me? I tried to get him to sit in Andrew's chair, but he likes this closeness. He loves this hour and a half. He looks forward to it. It is so freaking cute, Noah. He like, after he eats, and then we start, Andrew and I start kind of like talking like, all right, I'll see you in 15 minutes when I come in here first alone.

He knows. He goes and he's so excited and he just likes to sit next to me. It's so cute. He just likes to be close. A little cuddle bug. Last night I was watching videos. He's a little Mike. Your head is a Mike. What did I say in that video?

I go, oh, I kissed your head. Your head is a little mic your head is mike um i love him so much i was watching reddit last night on the subreddit make me cry i just needed to cry last night i was feeling a lot of things and wanted to watch porn to make me cry not actual porn but like cry porn you know and the subreddit make me cry it misses the mark so much people are only supposed to post things that make me cry. It misses the mark so much. People are only supposed to post things that make them cry there.

And I'm like, people are fucking babies. Like, it'll be just like, I don't know. I don't cry about, it's funny what triggers people to cry. I don't cry when mentally challenged people get into college or something, or like when that kind of thing, I'm happy for them and it's sweet but I don't there's certain things though like letters from dead

people to people who are living or like I'm so proud things where the person's proud there's this one great video of this kid who's doing a makeup tutorial and he's a boy you know or he like you know he presents as a boy at least in this video but he's doing his makeup and he's in his room and he's kind of maybe streaming on twitch or something i don't even know what the kids do and um all of a sudden you see him get like scared a little like like something off camera is happening and the caption already tells you what's going to happen but i'm not going to tell you so i knew what was going to happen but his dad walks in and you can hear like a man's voice and it it's all in Spanish or Portuguese.

I don't know which one. But it was, I think it was Spanish. And so I couldn't understand it. But it had subtitles. And he's like, hey, what are you doing? And the kid turns off the ring light. And he's just in the dark. And his dad's like, what are you doing?

And he's like, oh, nothing. And his dad's like, what are you doing? What are you hiding over there? And then he just is like, I got to show him. And he's like what are you doing what are you hiding over there and he then he just is like i gotta show him and he's like probably 14 he's this glam makeup on you know and he turns on the light and his dad goes that's great and he's like like looks so ashamed like he probably has been caught kind of before doing that they're not caught but like his dad is probably aware but it's not something they've confronted like in this way.

That's kind of the vibe I got. And his dad is just like, hey, come here. You look great. I love you. I don't, I just want you to be happy. You do anything that you,

as long as you are doing things that make you happy, I'm okay with it. And it's just this sweet, and they both cry and are hugging each other. And it's this moment, this watershed moment that they've both been dancing around. But there's something about coming out that I don't envy, obviously,

whether you're trans or whether you're gay or bisexual, whatever you are. And you have to announce it to your family. And it's this thing maybe they've suspected. or just having to tell your parents anything hard like that about your identity that maybe they won't understand and they could possibly reject you which happens a lot I have a trans friend um who is my makeup artist her name's Dita and she just transitioned like i think in august she started and like her dad won't talk to her and like her mom is like just like oh you know your dad you know it's like you just risk so much and i've said it before but i think trans people are the bravest people in the world and

that we doubt that they are doing this for any other reason that it's truly who they are is it absurd because why would you invite that into your life where you know the people you love the most could turn their backs on you why would you do that um if you weren't just trying to be yourself and do what's in you so i just don't get people that don't understand it but that's beside the point i think that kind of piggybacking off of the talk we had yesterday about conversations with your parents like hard conversations are not enviable in that way that they're hard and like you just want to be who you are and not have to like sit your parents down to tell them but there's something special about those I watch those videos where a kid will come out to his mom

or and I know I only watch the videos where it's positively received and it's like some kind of like Trumpy type mother that you think is going to not have that response but it's just like I love you and just holds her son's gay head to her bosom and they just cry in the kitchen it's just the kitchen looks like a Roseanne kitchen you know like there's those moments that I'm just like that is so sweet that they get to have those um because they have this thing they have to tell like I told my parents last night that I was anxious like I came out to my parents last night as anxious attached um no I tried to explain that book I did a good job of it I think it is I think it is just pertinent to understand that as humans we

would rather be right about the story we tell ourselves about ourselves even if that story is we're unlovable we'd rather that check out in our relationships validate that than to actually have loving relationships that would invalidate we'd rather be right than loved i feel like oprah right now we'd rather be right than loved. But that really is like, that's insane. And once you are able to acknowledge that, that's when you can start choosing being loved over being right. But if you're in the, if you're in the dark about this thing that you keep doing, which is choosing the wrong people because they validate a thing about you and you realize that you're just doing it because you want to be right about yourself. And once you realize that, it's like the back pain book that I

always talk about. You don't have to heal the trauma that's causing your back pain up in your head. You don't have to go and like, you know, this back pain book called Healing Back Pain, if you have anyone in your life suffering with back pain, no matter what it is, whether it's from a car accident, whether it's from they tore a disc or bulged a vertebrate whatever it is it the pain is uh intensified by your mental anguish that find that reroutes your brain can't handle like being a human and how much it sucks living in a modern world where we just want to just fuck everything and scream and be violent and like but we can't because we have to put on clothes and smile and it's fucking awful and and your body even even if it's not like you're dealing with a molestation or something

like fraught like that maybe it's just the book the back pain book says people have back pain because they just want to grab like when you're a baby you just get to grab things you know you go I want that and you grab it and then as a human oftentimes you want to grab things you know like like a baby would but you can't because you're an adult and you can't just grab things and so the the mental anguish of I can't grab that thing I want to grab I have to ask permission I can't have the thing I want you have to read that so it's too much for your brain to handle and so it tucks it away and then that thought travels through your body and finds the weakest spot that you already have pain going on because why not just find that place it finds the speaker for the the pain like think of your little like a bulging disc or a pinched nerve or, you know, a muscle

strain as like a speaker and it fucking cranks up that volume. Whereas that pain, it's real, but it's from your mind and the injury is real. You do have a bulging disc, but the pain that you're experiencing from it is way worse than it's supposed to be. And that's what this doctor realized is these people with chronic back pain from slipped from bulging discs or all these things. It was all it didn't make sense that they were in this much pain. This physiological thing is the nerves right at that area are not being triggered in the way that they should just from the physical abnormality.

But that's what you so that's what you do when you, when you, but the thing, the trick of the book is as soon as you actually accept that and that you can tell yourself my back pain is my mental anguish. It doesn't invalidate it. It's still pain. You can still get sympathy for your back pain, but it's up in your head. And as soon as you are okay with that and you can be okay with it, just like you're okay with like, oh, I fell and that's why my hip broke.

As soon as you don't feel like, that makes me like crazy it doesn't make you crazy as soon as you can accept it the pain goes away you don't even have to treat the thing that you're anguished about you acknowledge that it's that way and it goes away and what they found was you know remember when everyone got um ulcers in the 80s it It was like the thing, like stress causes ulcers. Remember that? Like the correlation. For some reason, they linked stress to ulcers.

As soon as they did that, ulcers dropped because as soon as someone is able to just know what causes it and know that it's not their fault but that it's a thing that they do have control over or that it's not even they have control over it. For whatever reason, just knowing that it's a thing that they do have control over or that it's not even they have control over it.

For whatever reason, just knowing that it's that and really accepting it, not just reading a book and being like, okay, I guess it's that. Truly knowing that when your back hurts, there's something else going on. And you don't even have to, you don't even have to break up with the guy or, you know, cry about the guy.

You just have to acknowledge that that is it and then it goes away. And you should treat those things because it'll keep coming back but it goes away so what i'm saying about this book is is that when you when you being honest and getting honest about things is truly the thing that has helped me more than anything in the world overcome anything i want to is getting brutally honest that's why i'll get applauded all the time is like nick you're so honest because it's on the other side of honesty is freedom. Even though being honest can be really embarrassing and you have to face some things about yourself that are really like truly horrifying.

But when you're able to be honest with them to yourself, just in a notebook, you don't even have to tell anyone. Although BetterHelp is a sponsor of ours. And I do recommend if you want to get therapy and tell someone and just release these sins, like the, or these character defects that aren't even your fault, you know, like you didn't choose to be whatever you are. You're, you didn't choose your brain. So, but as long as you're able to get these things out, you can be free. What was that? So what happened with your parents yesterday when you told them?

So this is the thing that I want to just say about that is that me getting honest about, listen, I'm anxious attached and I keep attracting people to me that validate that I'm unlovable and that people will leave me and abandon me because that is my core belief about myself. I know that. And I know that I'm wrong about that, but there's something in me that really believes that to be true because of, you know, just my diagnosis, my self-diagnosis as anxious, attached, anxious, attached people. It's not because it's true and it's not because we're bad people. We really feel unlovable. And now that I've acknowledged that I'm seeking out people that validate that belief about myself, all I have to do is acknowledge it. And now I know. And now I can do the opposite and the opposite will come naturally to me.

Like, you know, I really want the relationships that I facilitate from now on, whether it be the one I'm currently in or the one that, you know, my friendships colleagues I want I want those to feel good and to not trigger my abandonment response because when I get fucking crazy about a guy or a friend or a person a colleague who doesn't like me or someone that person is avoidant and it's their own thing and I need to I need to like I don't need to be mean to them I don't need to burn the bridge I just need to not pick that up because that is going to make me that's like picking up a knife like a knife is not going to make me feel good if I hold it and sleep with it at night it's always going to cut me it's because it's a knife and it can't help

but be a knife and a knife would go well with a knife cover. I don't know. Someone else would be better for the knife. Does that make sense? And so I told my parents this last night. I came out as anxious attached and my dad was like, I wouldn't want to date anyone that talked like this, like that you're talking like.

Because I told him, you know, what this book is kind of teaching me is that I need to, I'm okay to need things and that I'm okay to say, listen, I get really fucking stressed out if I don't hear from you because I, as soon as I get close to someone, my brain tells me they're going to leave me and I'm, and then I start frantically searching for reasons why you're going to leave me. And so a thing that isn't even an indication that you're going to leave me, I will interpret it that way. And so just know that I'm kind of crazy. And the only thing you need to do, you don't need to do anything. Be yourself because I'm only going to be with a secure person that is only going to

mistakenly make me feel anxious. That doesn't mean I won't interpret it that way. Avoiding people actually actively do that to you. But a secure person might sometimes slip up because they, you know, they're busy. They can't call you back. And then you as an anxious person start going, they're going to leave me. I have to tell that secure person that I'm with, I'm going to spiral sometimes and be like really insane. But I promise you, it goes away like that. If you just say, hey, I was busy. The second you assuage my fears and tell me the truth, I'm okay.

I'm not going to keep harping on it because anxious attached people, that's the beauty of them is that they go, oh my God, he's so mad at me. And then the second the guy's like, oh, sorry, I was in the bathroom. Oh, gone. It goes to zero. It doesn't go to 20. It doesn't go to 40. It goes to zero.

And so really, I'm an awesome person that just gets anxious a lot. And all that I need to do to feel better is to have someone be honest with me and love me. And that's not too much to ask. And I told my dad, like, he's like, I would never want to be with a woman who's because I said, you know, anxious attached people. They count the number of phone rings before it goes to voicemail. They count the hours, you know, since he last texted. They count. They see that, oh, he looked at my first instagram story but then he stopped watching so that's he's trying to like avoid me he probably accidentally saw the first one and was like shit i don't want her to think

i'm interested and then he flipped off of it so i think that way because i know that i sometimes do that stuff that that's just the way i am i cannot help that and I don't want to be in a relationship that I don't have to like I want to be able to honor those things and just acknowledge them and go just like my messiness like this isn't a great thing about me but it's true and if you love me you're gonna just tolerate it and I'm gonna do my best to not to like keep working on this to become secure but in the meantime I just I might get a little bit insecure sometimes I need you to know that and it's nothing against you and all you got to do is hold my hand like my the guy I'm dating now sometimes I fear if he gets mad at me he's gonna

break up with me and I told him you're allowed to be mad at me but when you if you don't think it's something where you're gonna break up with me will you just hold my hand when you like or will you just touch me under the if we get into an argument just touch me and that'll be a code word for this isn't gonna ruin us because sometimes you can't say that you're so mad in a fight you don't want to be like listen I'm not gonna break up with you over this but I go just touch me it's a way to let me to just ease my anxiety it's a thunder blanket a thunder jacket for the thunderstorm in my fucking heart and he does that now so like when he does he has to bring up something that's upsetting him and I start going like oh my god this is he's done you know he'll just gently like put his hand on my like hold my

hand and I'm just like I my heartbeat just goes back to, which is already low because I have bradycardia. But yeah, like I it was annoying because my dad didn't get it. He's like, you need to hide this part of yourself. No guy's ever going to want that. And that's what I met so much with in my family was, you know, my aunt Lynn saying no guy's ever going to date someone who eats like you. No boy's ever my mom's no boy's not going to want to go into a room that's Taylor Swift posters everywhere. No one's going to want a girl that is open about being anxious attached. No one's going to want a girl that talks about hookups on stage. Well, that's who I am. And if you don't want it, then fuck it. And I told my dad last night that I'm looking for a guy who,

you know, either is passionate about his work or, or you know is someone who can be like a homemaker role for me and not work because I have enough money and I could support someone and my dad goes so no man's gonna want that no men like to work and I go oh um actually that's you can't speak for all men he's like no man he's gonna be a fucking he's gonna be a he didn't say fucking he goes he's gonna be a pushover that's like a little and I go is mom a pushover because she doesn't work was she so she's a pushover and he goes kind of and I was like okay well now we know how you feel now he didn't say pushover I he said um something like that that I go well is every woman that doesn't work uh just uh I go running a household cleaning a house making it presentable hiring people to

keep it presentable uh investing my money in things that i that that to me is sexy i'm that's not good i go well you know what a secure man could not work and be okay with it and not be a little moot little bitch living off of me and that's a secure man that wouldn't feel gay because a woman's taking care of him. So fuck you, dad. No, I love my dad. We had a really good concert last night on Instagram, Nikki Glazer Pod. Thank you for watching, everyone. Let's get Andrew in here.

He's visiting us from Michigan where he is with Brenna's family. Andrew! 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way

in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement

accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world

is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven,

and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery,

a story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. Let's do it. Hey, Andrew. what up live from michigan yeah oh my god i just drove through

like it was like the north pole i thought i was gonna run over polar bears and get fucking attacked by sea lions it was wild when i just drove through oh really blizzard oh yeah i mean the most blizzard blizzard i've ever i couldn't believe it like dairy queen yeah but even more mixed yeah it was wild uh wait um wild you know dude that if you are risking your life to make it to the podcast on time we'll just we can do it you're not going to be replaced i don't want you, you could have just pulled over. You shouldn't drive in conditions that are, I shouldn't tell you what to do, but like,

why were you, was there a part of you that was thinking maybe I should just wait until this passes? Um, Brandon just kept reassuring me. Don't be a pussy, you know? Yeah,

no, no. She, I, I felt, you know, what happens is, is when the trucks pass you on the left side, it forms a cloud that you literally can't see the road.

Dude. And then it's ice. That's when you pull over, man. I guess you're on the highway. You can't pull on the shoulder. Well, it's funny. She's like, you know, they tell you, they're like, you like you know when you go on the bridge that's where it gets icy but and if you start um like spiraling out don't do this to the wheel and pump your brakes don't slam them and it's like this is not this that's this shouldn't

be a thing you know what i mean these measures should there's not a woman giving birth in the backseat and have to get to the hospital. This is... We should just not be driving right now. Yeah, yeah. But I guess they would never get anywhere then, you know? Because I feel like this happens all the time. Well, no, you could wait until things pass. Yeah.

Or you could have a car that, you know, is better in the snow than a Corolla. Yeah, that's true. That you haven't checked the tire pressure probably. Oh, I guess Brenda took you in for an oil change. What's your tire pressure in your car? I have people take it. I look at the tires, and if they look bad, I just took it in to get inspected.

So they do all that. What did they inspect? And if I'm driving my mom's car in snow, I literally pull over at a gas station and wait. I've done it before on the road when I have gigs. I get too scared in the snow, dude. Yeah, it was wild. You look like Eddie Murphy raw or delirious.

Which one is he in the all red? Yeah, Juicy Couture gave me a suit, like a jumpsuit. So I have the pants and the top. And I wore it to my theater show in St. Louis my theater show in St. Louis because I thought it was like a cool thing to show up to the gig in but I've never worn it since then and today I was you know low on activewear pants and I've gained some lbs and so um I decided to put on this thing because it's like a sweat pant but god damn it it's tight I mean it is not an attractive look on the bottom

it's not a good but the suit is so cute juicy is back by the way what's the material so 2000s it's um not great to be honest it's uh it's like kind of um is it velour no it's not velour it's i can't describe it it's like plasticky sweatshirt does that make sense like it's like coated sweatshirt you know what it looks like it's not what it looks like a fruit roll-up like i could i look oh my god yes it's shiny i look like a fruit roll-up god damn it i just went to i went out like this i went to starbucks and then i stopped at a store you know that little gift shop around the corner from us? Did anyone go, I want to eat your fruit bite of foot?

Or your foot bite of fruit? Fruit foot. No, because my feet are gross. I've got a four out of ten on wiki feet. Oh, man. I keep saying I have a 9.5 on wiki feet, but that's just my size.

Is that the width oh dude my son please you guys go log into wikifeet and get my score up like it's just not fair i'm being you know discriminated against because of my bunnies um so i went to this gift store it's you know that cute little one around the corner, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like a New York Christmas-y gift shop, right? And I went in there, and they had great tunes. This guy was just playing. I went in because they were blasting cool Nick Lowe.

I didn't even know who Nick. I mean, I know him from like, I think he sings that Pink Moon song, but maybe not. But Nick Lowe, I've never heard of him. Or I've heard of him, but I've never listened to his music. And I was like, who is this? I felt like I was in High Fidelity. I was like, God, I'm so cool being like,

what's this record, man? Because he was at a record player. Yeah. And it was this awesome song called, fuck, get into it. It's Nick Lowe and it's called, I forget it now. I put it on my Instagram story,

but it's so good. Anyway, this guy took so long wrapping up all the gifts. I literally put all the stuff. He was taking so long that I go, I'm going to go grab my Starbucks and be right back. I came back and he still, he was helping another customer and chatting them up. And I'm standing there watching. And I'm just like, I have to be back to the podcast because I had to do this I'm just like I cannot believe how long this is taking and then I leave the store and one of the main items that he wrapped up that was a hundred and something dollar tray I bought

he didn't even put in the bag so I have to go back there he did give Luigi three treats but man people are slow and just take their time and yeah it's like excruciating and just just because you left doesn't mean he gets to stop like just i thought i gave him like hey i thought there was a way i wasn't trying to be passive-aggressive i was really like take your time like i'm gonna go but i thought he might read that as like oh she's she's on the she's gotta go um but people just don't pick up on things, and that's fine. They're not anxious attached. I'm very aware.

He's very avoidant, yeah. How was your car ride with two avoidants? It was so funny. We were like, you know what? It's an eight-hour car ride. Oh, yeah, you guys thought you were going to do it in one trip. Yeah, well, we thought that too. You didn't get out of town until like five five i had a full-on panic attack she had to drive most

of the way at a first leg i had like it was it's the worst i've had it made me like swallow another being like okay maybe it's not best to do to get off one and just whatever. Yeah. There was a lot of reasons why it happened, but it was to the point where I felt very detached, and I was looking at her, and I couldn't connect with her. She didn't even seem like a human being to me. It was fucking – I was going through it. Has that happened to you before?

Yeah. It's just been so long. But that thing of someone doesn't look like a human being not like look like a human it's hard to explain like you just don't feel it like like present with them like you can't stop your brain and then like i would look at barns in the distance like different like like objects and they were so like color like so sharp like it was so hard to explain it's hard to explain everything everything was just what what amplified when did it start how did it uh because i just think people relate so much and i'm always very curious about these and with no

judgment i'm asking like what brought it on like what did it feel like what what was going on um you know i i really running late i think there's i think it's uh the idea of meeting her family is probably a little bit in there somewhere i think driving eight hours is in there somewhere i think uh i spent all day cleaning out that backroom closet which is a fucking goddamn disaster and i didn't really sleep that well the night before i mean there's a lot of different you know i'm weaning off zoloft i'm getting on well buterin i just got the booster shot like a day and a half ago i think that was maybe so like so many things and so but how did it come on did you feel it like oh wait this is familiar or were you in denial of it because it's been so That was maybe, so like so many things. And so. But how did it come on?

Did you feel it like, oh, wait, this is familiar? Or were you in denial of it? Because it's been so long. Like, how did that work? Well, my first thought was like, I can't get off Zoloft. Like, what am I thinking? I got to get in touch with my doctor. It's because the well putering.

Well, what is the thing that made you feel that thought? Like your heart start beating or like you started panicking about a pain? how did it come on like it just comes on like uh you could feel it a little bit and then what happens is like for me at least my was this in the car were you driving when it happened yeah i was driving so like the more you drive the more the music's on the more sometimes you feel like you could like drive it away in a weird way. And then. Were you guys not getting along either? Was it like that kind of like getting out of town, like stressful vibe in the car?

A little bit. No judgment on your relationship. But like that's how everything is. There was definitely that. But it was also like she was very like supportive of me once I had said I was anxious. Yeah. And then she ended up driving like two to you know or maybe three of the four hours and then i drove all day today but like yeah which you know uh was very nice of her and like i i could have drove after the first leg and she just wanted to keep driving but like what

did you um how did it get to the point where you're like i gotta did you get pull over for gas and then you decide that or was was it like, I gotta pull over. Like, this is freaking me. Like, were you verbalizing it? Was it just, yeah.

Once I verbalized it, I felt way better. You know, what happens is my eyes, you can't, when you're having a panic attack or anxiety attack, you can't like, you know,

sometimes you could calm your eyes. If that makes sense. Like, like you're on the road and you're just like looking at the road, it's not like you can yeah you don't just strain yeah you're not but i'm like this the whole time just strain just oh and you can't you can't go like this yeah you like can't like you can't feels like yeah i don't know it's so fucking weird man that makes sense i the i thing yeah that checks out did then what, how did you calm down? Like after she was driving, when did it feel

like back to normal and how did you get there? I think, honestly, I think some of it had to do, because we ate a late lunch, we ate in the car. I think once my blood sugar level, I think that also had something to do with it, if I had to guess. I also drank a very large Diet Coke, right?

Whatever, you know, it's a lot of things. So caffeine, no food, lack of sleep, stress. Changing medicine. Switching medicines. Booster. I mean, booster shot. Meeting parents. Yeah.

It was a perfect, yeah. I can't believe you're alive. Yeah, yeah. I was talking about it at the top of the show. When you're able to say, oh, this is why this is happening, it makes it go away. I was talking about the back pain book. When you know that your back pain is caused by mental anguish, it makes it go away just by knowing it. So knowing it's the stress of the parents.

It's the throat. Like all the things. Suddenly it's like, oh, this isn't my fault. This isn't something else. You just, it frees you do you do does that resonate with you yeah for sure like yeah i'm just like being able to name it a thousand percent and be able to say it out loud like trusting that brenna wouldn't judge me for yes essentially looking like a wuss that i couldn't drive anymore you know what i mean like

yeah but a lot of people don't have brennas. And that's why, I mean, they're a sponsor of the show, but I'm serious. This holiday season, it's fucking lonely out there. And we're not going to be around on the podcast. I know a lot of you look towards us for company. BetterHelp, you can find a therapist in less than 48 hours. They're not paying me to say this.

I'm just saying it's a resource for people who, you can get 10% off if you go, what is it? I think, I don't people who you can get 10% off if you go like what was it you just I think I don't know you can get 10% off but your first month but you can find someone in like 48 hours and it's someone that doesn't that will not judge you and you can say all of this shit and just getting it out

or journal burn that's the cheapest way Kirsten always does that you journal all these things and then you burn it and no one will see or you journal it in such a way that it's so scratchy that no one can see and it helps. But I'm glad you had someone to talk you through it. It's betterhelp.com slash Nikki Glazer.

That's how it shows. Yes, there you go. Give that gift to yourself. It was interesting. You were talking about the back thing and we were on a flight to Phoenix and I sat next to this couple and the guy started talking to me and he's saying that his wife who's had five back surgeries was going to phoenix to get like a non-fda approved stem cell transplant and i was like yeah i was like you know i was like i wonder how much of it's mental and stuff. Like just having a conversation and his wife is sitting next to him.

Oh, and I didn't never told you. She pulls up her X-ray of the plates in her back. And she goes, tell him it's not mental. And I go. I go, oh, wait, let me bring up my friend from 12. From C12. It's not. I would have said, wait, let me bring up my friend from 12E. From C12E. It's not, I would have said, honey, it's not mental. It's metal in your back.

But also that metal doesn't have to hurt that bad. You can literally, your arm could be chopped off. And if you can have enough equanimity meditatively that you can handle any kind of pain. Now that's a different type of thing. That's where if you have chronic pain, the waking up app is so clutch and you can get it for free if you write into samharris.org and say you can't afford it.

But they have that meditation called working with pain and in it he talks about, you can meditate through pain. That's why those monks who would self-emoliate, who would set themselves on fire and just sit still, they truly were in a state where they weren't feeling pain because you can handle any, it doesn't, just because it's mental doesn't mean that it's not real. No one's saying that you're crazy. Some people might, and that sucks, but you don't have to prove your pain to anyone. Your pain is your pain. And by admitting that it's in your head does not mean that we

shouldn't feel sorry for you or help you with your bags or think you're doing – you're not doing it yourself. Who would want to be in pain? I mean I guess some people want to be sick so they get attention, but that's a sickness in and of itself where I feel sorry for you too if that's how you got to get love. I mean I think people just really fear not um they either fear getting pity or they fear that they're not going to get pity and that they're going to be blamed for it and psychosomatic has such a bad connotation also um i was in therapy the other day and i was talking about emotional incest where you know you have a parent who treats you like a spouse in terms of like the things they talk to you about not really having boundaries just they treat you like a friend and it's called emotional incest and she had some other kind of

uh they spousify you and i was like that's a better word than emotional incest in uh sexual incest has ruined the word incest incest doesn't have to mean sex with your uncle or brother. But like when someone told me like, oh, you know, that sounds like emotional incest. I'm like, wait, no, I'm not going to identify as that. That's horrifying. Yeah. But just giving the names of things trigger people so much. And psychosomatic, when you say it's psychosomatic, it's in your head. People freak out.

But it doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. So we just have to talk about it in a different way. It's funny. Like incest triggers you. And then when you say psychosomatic, I think of psychosomatic agency. That song from like, oh, I don't know that. Oh, really? The prodigy prodigy.

Oh, yeah. Smack my bitch. Yeah. Smack my bitch up. So every time I hear that word, I just want to go agency it's funny but yeah no last night i was cleaning up for the housekeeper andrew and i was just putting because i knew that closet was clean so i was like oh i'm gonna put some of my music equipment in there out of the living room and i'm doing a photo shoot in the living room to uh for instagram because i have to you know shout out the people that gave me free furniture um and uh i i left your door open for a second and then i closed it right away behind me

but then i couldn't find luigi like i was getting ready for you know it was i was in my room and i thought he was just being stubborn and in the podcast studio because sometimes he just comes in here to be like i'm mad at you you didn't walk me enough today or whatever the hell he's pouting about and then i was like oh my god did i leave him in the hall hall and so i go out there he's nowhere and i'm free i'm like luigi and i'm like he's going some like when he got really sick when i first got him he got like deathly sick he got something and he went off to die dogs do that they just slink off to go die and uh which brings me back to the thing that i was going to say at the top of the show about dogs like i was watching videos

last night of dogs who are abused that learn to love and those are the things that make me cry okay so i've finished that thought but anyway i thought he went off to die i'm like oh my god he's sick and dying and then i was like i i shut andrew's room right behind me. Like, there's no way. But he slinked in there when I was putting the equipment in your closet. He got in and he got like curled up in the corner. And I went and I go, Luigi? It was the last spot I could look. I looked everywhere. It's not that big of an apartment.

And he came trotting out just like, he was just in there and like so, I think he felt sad because I, he seemed like I, because I shut the door and he's like, she just left me in this dark room alone. So I think he was kind in there and like, so I think he felt sad because I, he seemed like I, I, cause I shut the door and he's like, she just left me in this dark room alone. So I think he was kind of mad at me, but he also looks kind of cozy. Yeah. And he comes in there way more now. Like, Oh, talk about like a dog that's abused that like takes a while to warm up to you and then gives you the most love possible.

You know? I know this dog last night i was watching on the that dodo account you know sometimes on instagram they show up on the subreddit make me cry and there was this dog that like just looked it reminded me so much of marion and luigi and the woman is an expert with abused dogs and she's like this dog no human has ever been kind to this dog and it's you know generally people hit dogs with open hands or kick them so she was doing this thing where she was putting her fist out because she didn't want if the dog bit it's much easier for them to bite fingers than a fist so you just put your fist out

looked like she was like gonna punch it and she was like i know this looks threatening but yeah dogs don't associate this we're just pounding dogs don't really get punched they get slapped or kicked and so this dog was just like like shaking and cowering it looked so much like luigi and marion and it made me realize like this woman was like this dog has been severely abused and i was like oh my god that's what happened to my dogs for sure someone some human beat the fuck out of just was terrorized them and to see that shift where they you know after a couple days this dog is like kind of reluctant you know when you go to pick up marion andrew and she kind of just goes like that she

just kind of plays dead and starts like she's her tail is wagging but she's also shaking in fear and sometimes she'll go she'll start screaming yeah if you go to pet her she'll start shrieking and it's like my dad last night i go she goes do you why does she do that when you're just trying to give her love and she's wagging her tail she comes up to greet you and then you go to pick her up and she starts shrieking at the touch of your fingers on her fur and it's because she has an involuntary response of i don't think cognitively she thinks that she's about to be beat but her body remembers that this is means i'm gonna get hurt and it just starts shrieking i mean yeah it alarms us she's been through a lot she weighs like how could you be six pounds so

her tail is bent in a right angle so it was definitely shut in a door bit by a dog less than four months ago like yeah she's been through a lot how could you be mean to that little dog how could you i mean it's so bad for people who abuse animals. They must be so abused themselves. It's just, God, we just got to stop the cycle. Get help, people. Betterhelp.com slash Nikki Glaser. Let's take a break, and we're going to come back with an all-Fanthrax rest of the episode.

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Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. All right, we're back. Let's do Fanthrax. Fanthrax. All right, guys. We love hearing from you. We hear from you so often. I get so many messages, DMs.

I got one last night. I just want to read to start us off. It was the fucking sweetest thing. You guys, you all top each other with sweetness. It's insane. So last night I went live with my dad on Nikki Glaser Pod. And I went over to his house because he was trimming the tree. My mom was going to see a concert with her friend. And I go, I'll go hang out with my dad on Nikki Glaser pod and I went over to his house because I was he was trimming the tree my mom was going to see a concert with her friend and I go I'll go hang out with my dad I'll miss times like this when I either move or he's dead or I'm dead so um she

said this is from Kat hi I'm too awkward to leave a voice memo but I'm a fan from day one of NGP and start each day listening to the pod I tune into the Instagram lives frequently and play a game with myself to see how many of my comments Nikki slash Andrew will respond to. So far, I'm four out of four and proud. Tonight's live with Nikki's dad was so pure. I thought it needed to be recorded

because if we find it so special, then I know you will in the future too. That is a fucking bestie. Thanks for being so open and vulnerable with us. It truly does feel like we are besties because of how well we know you. I hope I get to come to see a show soon. But in the meantime, the lives, the lives, Instagram lives really feel like private performances that we love. Anyway, don't be and jackalope.

Thank you so much, Kat. And the video you sent me of me and my dad truly is like I posted on my Instagram personal story I will cherish it forever and you were the only one to send me one and I was secretly hoping someone would but I thought you know what let me just live in the moment and not have to ask people so the fact that you captured it means is like the greatest gift and someday when he is past like I know that I'm going to look back at this video and it's going to be one of the most special things in my life. Because it really was a special Christmas moment where my dad and I were playing guitar and he was so proud of me. Everyone kept saying, your dad looks so proud.

I'm like, why do I interpret his pride as he's judging me? It was really sweet though. All the besties made me so proud of him because they're just like, he's so cool. He's so talented. He's so hot. Everyone's saying my dad's a zaddy. But truly, thank you so much, Kat, for that gift of that video. It meant so much to me.

And yeah, thank you to everyone who was watching last night or who watches any of our lives. All right. So what's next? Okay. I'm going to start with this voicemail since it's about yesterday's show. Hey, guys. I just got done listening to Wednesday's podcast, the St. Bernard that solids food.

And I think you guys should do like once a week. It's all no news. No do I care anything like that just like self-help mental health therapy day or something like that oh my god that was amazing um I literally just got like had a whole day with my mom yesterday um and had experienced what you guys talked about like yeah oh my gosh you should do it you should yes if you don't um this episode was still amazing and i'm probably gonna go listen to it over and over again um thank you guys for everything you do. Love you. Love you. Giacbot. Giacbot. Wait, who was that? She didn't leave her name.

Anonymous. Oh, Anonymous, sweet girl that's driving, and I heard your turn signal. Yeah, let's fucking do it. Like, let's devote. I love that the show has a format and segments you can trust and but i love that it also can be an accordion of where we can just shorten certain things and not do them and in in you know in honoring places that we just want to go and yesterday was fucking good for me like yeah i felt so good after that i was able to go over to my parents and like and I had some triggering moments with my dad where I

like snapped at him and he wanted me to play 12 string guitar and I'm like dad I don't even know how to play a six string stop and then he's like try this song and it's like and I'm like dad can we just play a song that has a g c d f like let's I just want to have a good time. I don't want to, and I was being, I was being a bitch about it at times. But what did, that talk yesterday got me over there in the first place. And it got me, even though it wasn't perfect, and I was not a perfect child, and loving of my father, I was able to talk to him about that attached book, which does mean a lot to me. And I talked to him about my feelings, and he was able to hear them. And he asked me about the podcast yesterday, which was weird. I was like, it was actually really good. I was like, did he hear it? I was like, it my feelings in a way that he was able to receive them, even though they weren't met perfectly. And I ended the top of the show by saying,

fuck you, dad. Um, we're closer now because he knows my feelings. And it was because of yesterday. Andrew, did you feel good yesterday after yesterday? No,

I had a full panic attack driving. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh shit. Okay. Maybe, maybe it triggered that. Honestly,

it could have. No, but that's fine. I mean, that's fine too. Therapy does do that sometimes. Yeah. I don't look at that as a negative i look at it like oh maybe i uncovered something and got it out and my body

was just like oh okay now i'm good tomorrow you know yeah i went to couples therapy the other day and i have not talked to the person that i'm going to couples counseling with because of how much it brought up yeah and my mom was like, that's not good. And I'm like, no, no, no, that is not a knock against therapy. Yes. We are getting to a place that is uncomfortable that we, yeah, we didn't have enough time to finish it up and tie it in a bow, but that thing was going to be there all along. And it was going to find its way out maybe 20 years from now, but thank God it came out

now. And sometimes you just need you know when you do a skin treatment and you like start at accutane or something your body like purges all this you explode with acne first and then it goes away like it's gonna get messy before it gets good so um yeah we should do trigger warnings i guess therapy is like a vaccine you know yeah yeah it's like the booster yeah you might feel sick for a couple days but in the long run yeah you're not gonna end up dead killing um all right next one next one next one is about a controversial topic

that we discussed on the show and uh some feedback on it hi Hi, Nikki, Andrew, and Noah. I'm listening to the episode 149, Several Monsters, and I had to pause right away and give you a shout regarding floating several minutes and driving several miles. Okay, okay. I 100% agree with Nikki for floating several minutes. Okay. It's definitely less than 10. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

Several miles. Like, how how many though? So I think it really just depends on the situation. Yeah. Maybe there's some other topics we could explore where that might be true. Anyways, love the podcast. Listen to you every morning on my way to work. And when I pick my 11-month-old son up from daycare, we listen to it on the drive home. And let me tell you, he is cultured.

Love you guys. Take care. Love you. What was her name? Ja Rule. Hi. Wow. She's really, she's departing from the, I love that.

Listen, you just got to get the J.A. part right For all I care Didn't have Didn't leave a name By the way Okay Well Mother of a new 11 month old

Congratulations You sound great And You know It's okay to be wrong About the several miles But you know You're right

It's not that you're wrong I would walk several miles And but you know you're right it's not like i would walk several miles and i would walk several more just to be several i think we looked it up in the dictionary and it is more than a few less than a lot so i guess you know it is up to interpretation um the other day i was driving with carlisle and just like noah carlisle is someone who does not know distances yeah like can't doesn't know what miles are or like fractions of miles which is mind-boggling to me but guess what i'm i don't know things that they know you know that are like truly just can't grasp simple things that they go how could you not get that

and um you're one of those people when it comes to several, you know, like there are certain things. No, with she, God, we were, it said,

it said 0.8 miles ahead and she started breaking and going, Nikki, you know, she just goes, you know, I'm bad at with this. And instead of me going, how could you not like,

I wanted to do that so bad, but I just go, you know what? Who bad with this. And instead of me going, how could you not? I wanted to do that so bad. But I just go, you know what? Who the fuck cares? She doesn't know. I used to get so mad at my friend Huffy in high school. Can I say something real quick? Yeah. My mom's calling.

One second. Hold on. My mom's calling. We got to get this. Hi, mom. Hi, honey. How are you? You're not on a podcast right now.

Just kidding. You are. Just kidding. Oh, my. How are you? You're not on a podcast right now. Just kidding. You are. Just kidding. Oh, my God. I am? Yeah. Oh, my God. Hey, I'm so excited.

About? About we are going to have a vegan Christmas dinner. Oh, okay. Yes. Thank you. Oh, because I brought all that ground meat over? What ground meat? Go look in the freezer, bitch. Oh, because I brought all that ground meat over? What ground meat? Go look in the freezer, bitch.

Oh, I did not see that. For Meatless Farms, they're the ones that I did the ad campaign for, and they gave me a ton of ground vegan meat. Yeah, go check the freezer. I got to go back to the podcast. I thought you might say something funny, and you did. You're always funny. We're having a vegan?

I'm so excited about all this okra and squash. Mom all this mom i gotta say the post you posted on instagram last night is the worst picture i've ever seen have you seen it it's so blurry oh it is i know you definitely had as some a little couple drinks when you posted it but it is it looks like the last photo shot of a woman who died later that night no, no. Don't take it down. It's cute. Can I take it down? No, your caption is cute.

I love that you post when you drink. That's something that everyone relates to. No, they don't. Yes, they do, Mom. People post when they drink. Believe me. It's a picture of your friend Elaine. What does it say, Andrew?

It says, my friend Elaine, Sean Cannon Voodoo. We is some lucky girl. Yeah, it says, my friend Elaine, Sean Cannon Voodoo. We is some lucky girl. Oh, yeah. It says, my friend Elaine, Sean Cannon Voodoo. We is some lucky girls. We is some lucky girls. I love that you gave it a little, we is some lucky girls. We is sure is. Did you have fun last night?

Yeah, it was so fun. Oh, my God. So much fun. I know. You missed a concert. Dad and I had everyone was asking where you were on the Instagram live. All the besties wanted to know. I heard that you had

fun last night. I'm so glad. Yeah, but the besties were wondering where's Julie. So, glad we got to hear from you today. We are going to get back to Fanthrax. Gotta go. Merry Christmas. Love you. Alright, sorry about that. Let's get back to several more Fanthrax.

What did Andrew have to say, though? If you said to Carlisle, we're.8 miles away, right? And then you go, oh, we're several tenths of a mile away. Would you use it there?

I would think that was five to seven. Tenths. I just don't even think you'd use the word there. No, you wouldn't. Who says tenths of a mile? Several tenths. Yeah, it's a bad example. Let's get back to Van Der Ecks.

Okay. Oh, Luigi looks so sad. Here's a story. These are great, by the way, these Van Der Ecks. Oh, oh we have so many i just want to say thanks to all the besties i'm just blown away okay yeah noah hears all of them so yeah noah any any anything to say to them besides thank you just based on what you hear i'm well i'm really impressed with how on point all the messages are and you know everyone just gets through them and tells their story concisely or has a question or message and I don't think if I ever called until like a talk show I would be that collected so thank you great job I think

about that all the time I I really do and I'm I speak for a living I truly when I leave messages they are so rambly and terrible I'm always so impressed and by the way you're allowed to read leave a rambly terrible yeah that's fine we will never judge it is it is very impressive whenever people call radio stations I'm always like how is this caller so cool and composed like I would be so nervous so um and it's okay if you are and and if your message sucks we still love you but thanks for uh nailing it most of the time according to noah and from what i hear they're all great so let's what's next okay here's here's a fun little story hi no drugi i had to let nikki know that i quoted her in the bedroom last night. Um, I partook in some ass play, but with my

boyfriend, um, being the receiver, um, I have never done this before. So I, um, you know, licked a little bit down there and used some toys down there, licked them up. And I quoted Nikki and said, you know, like Nikki Glaser, because he's like, wow, you're using a lot. And I was like, you know, like Nikki Glaser says, all the lube in the land. And it just made me happy to reference you in the bedroom.

I don't know. Anyways, that's all i have to say but i love you guys so much you really make my days so much brighter and um i hope you all have a wonderful holiday love you thank you so much um thanks for sharing that normal it. You didn't even go into detail about what happened or how he received it. It doesn't matter. We need to talk about anal stuff as the same way we talk about any other stuff.

So I love that it wasn't like, I did this thing and it was this. Yeah, you licked your boyfriend's asshole. And that's the end of the story. And it's great and good for you to be in a relationship and fucked him with toys yes that's huge and congrats to your boyfriend for being man enough to know that like that doesn't make him anything but a guy who is open to different kinds of pleasure that might be awaiting him through his asshole and um to his

heart and i love that you reference me in bed i always you know even in my stand-up act i say you know i know this is a weird thing just say this comedian i watched told me to do it blame it on me and you can be like this podcast i listened to suggested it i thought it sounded weird this is her fault if it's weird bring me up please you know bring me in like a third party i'll be your little you know fantasy unicorn um i love i'm you know i love sex so bring me in your bedroom i'd love it thank you for that that was a cool call okay speaking of which i think we may have landed on the biggest k story of the year oh my god okay so tell me what you think uh i think it's from mikaela nikki noah and andrew

i'm calling in to share a cuff from today so i was at a tattoo shop getting um a tattoo touched up so i was with an artist like i know whatever hanging out in the shop and this other artist walks by and he has a tattoo on his forearm of a QR code, and so I'm like, oh my god, like, does that actually go to something? Whatever, and the tattoo artist, without knowing it, because, like, he's not a busty, he's not in on the joke, and he's like, oh, he's so cool, it's to feed his ego, and so turns out that the QR code is to this man's Instagram so that I guess he can like roll up his sleeve and you can follow his Instagram account so definitely very cool and my mom made me

think of you I thought it was really funny and so I just wanted to share with all the besties um jackie alonio we're gonna count that but i don't even know what she said that was awesome um i you know what i almost wanted to pause it to guess what it would go to i was like thinking a a menu at a thai restaurant because that's the only qr codes that i ever scan but that is so stupid and i mean tattoos tattoo shops are a bastion of i can't believe it works though that's so cool though in a way i kind of that actually is cool i kind of find it just cool i'm not like trying to be i kind of think it's cool too i don't want to be a dick either i think it's kind of cool what i don't what i i think that anyone, I think within that Instagram account,

you would find a lot of co-activity though. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like posts like Andrew, you did yesterday. You nailed, nailed it.

Yeah. That, that, that go look at Andrew's Instagram and look at the picture he took next to his Corolla. Oh yeah. Of it's, it's not the caption. The caption definitely,

uh, let you know what the joke is but the picture itself is so spot on with this casual looking at the ground like i'm kind of hot but i'm not trying to be but i am like you are uh you were you deserve an oscar for that um and did you see i tagged Garrett and Casey from FBoy? Did they comment? If you go to Gianni Paolo, the guy from the Power Show I told you about, you might have talked to him a couple times. He does it every – I scream in his comments.

Look at the fucking camera. Look at it. It's so lame to be like, just looking at the ground. What's on the ground? It's so cute to be like oh just looking at the ground like what's on the ground like it's so good and um what was your caption you were like that corolla life oh you said i'm money so hard i can't even or blink money never sleep or even has eyelid it's so funny by the way you should get their starbucks qr code on that my starbucks order on my arm would be pretty cool.

But I just don't believe that QR codes are going to stick around. There's going to be something else soon. We lost you again. That's for the best. We'll wait for him to get back on. What I wanted to say real quick while we wait for Andrew to return. There's a podcast called Dead Eyes that is about a guy that got fired from Tom Hanks' Band of Brothers miniseries back in the early aughts. And he got fired because Tom Hanks said he had dead eyes.

And it was just a one-line role. And he said, you know, that guy has dead eyes. And the casting director told the guy, he's firing you because you have dead eyes, which Tom Hanks did not intend for this guy to find out about. So this guy does a whole podcast investigation about what that means and why he got fired. And he did the whole podcast series. It awesome it's so well done and i was talking about it on a podcast called the daily zeitgeist which is a great daily podcast if you haven't checked it out um and they they heard me talk about the show and the guy connor ratcliffe who is the actor from

dead eyes he he writes me on my dms and is like hey will you be on my podcast and i was like sure i didn't even ask any questions i get to it and he confronts me with the clip of me talking about him saying he actually does have dead eyes i looked and we pull it up can we there's a podcast today so listen to the least recent episode of dead eyes and it kind of takes you through everything you can kind of just jump ahead to mine but then go back and listen to the others but if you want to hear it he confronts me about saying he had dead eyes and then we investigate like what that means

and he said that I was the only one that was going to be honest with him because he just plays Jon Hamm like all these different comedians that he goes through that are like you don't have you have the kindest eyes Connor that is not true and I'm like yeah they're kind of scary and lifeless. And it's so funny.

But yeah, it's dead eyes. Oh, wait. Is it Ratliff? Yeah, Connor Ratliff. Yeah, they're dead. Yeah, right? Okay. You're very right, too.

You're not wrong. It's really funny. I was listening to it and laughing because it's so funny. He confronts me and I'm like, I didn't know that you would ever hear that. I'm busted. He's like, no, you're allowed to say that. Let's let's talk about it so anyway um let's get back to phanthrax i wonder if that proves that tom hanks is actually not a nice person let's go to a story from anna okay anna hi nikki andrew and noah this is anna i just listened to the episode where nikki

correctly pronounced catalytic converter. And it brought me back to the time earlier this year when my friend took me to the wine country. We came back and my car was parked at her apartment. And over the weekend, somebody crawled under my car and cut out my catalytic converter. So when I turned my car on, it made this horrible roaring sound. And I thought it was drivable. So I tried to drive down the street and apparently they also chopped some other things out. All the while, I am just thinking the entire time that other people think I am so good because my car is making this obnoxious sound while I'm going down the street. I ended up being so embarrassed that I called AAA and they came out and helped me tow my car.

So I didn't have to live with the embarrassment of making such a loud noise. I just thought I would share. I love your guys's podcast. So thanks. Thank you you i love that she hit on two things there catalytic converter and k catalytic can cook uh um yeah unintentionally could like when you you think your ear pods are connected and you're blaring your music you're accidentally yeah like just those moments where you're like no no no I did not intend to be here and I'm

so sorry I was I'm just gonna read a quick note that I got from someone on the road this is from Aaron Moffat she got me a Taylor Swift card that says Sagittarius it's like a birthday card for a Sagittarius but she said I know it's not your birthday but this is the only Taylor Swift card

that I could find in all of Calgary I just wanted to say that as an absolute bestie, I truly appreciate how open you are with your fans slash besties. You inspire me to be a better vegan, be more mindful, and remind me to always be truthful. Your comedy has allowed me to not be ashamed of my hastily packed vagina, and rather I can laugh at it and laugh at other quirky sexual things that happen. Finally, thank you for putting out so much of yourself recently. Oh, of yourself. I recently moved to Calgary and I've never felt alone.

Thanks to you, Noah and Andrew. I can't wait to see your new special and tell all my friends about it. XOXO, always a bestie, always a Swifty. Erin Moffitt. Thank you so much, Erin. And if you live in Calgary and are a bestie and you want a bestie friend, which anyone who listens to the show, you're going to get along with other people.

Contact Aaron Moffat, E-R-I-N-M-O-F-F-A-T-T 13, Aaron Moffat 13, and get together and talk about the show over coffee. Become friends. One more. This was a really funny card that I got. It's a guy with walking on a leash. He has a gigantic rooster on a leash and it says he was going to be a lot more specific with his wishes next time because he asked for a big cock you know nikki i wanted to let you know how much your podcast helped me in the early days of the

pandemic while things are better i still have some struggles but listening to your banter with andrew and noah's soothing interjections is a balm to my soul keep doing what you do making people laugh merry christmas your bestie forever cassandra no pressure but i can't wait for your book so nice thank you guys so much those they i met those uh two at shows and then i want to shout out to rachel um i believe it was rachel wait hold on is this the card she gave me um uh maybe it's brianna i forget who gave me it was either nicole or brianna who in calgary gave me a necklace. No, I don't think Rachel was one of the names. Nikki, I love you so, so much.

You help me cope with so much. I listen to your podcast every day. Call or text me, Bri. She left her number. And one of these people gave me a necklace that they have one and I have one and I want to put it on now officially and let you know that I will be wearing this around my neck until it falls off because I don't take off necklaces.

So I love it. Thank you so much. You guys never have to give me a gift, but you know I love cards. What is on there? It's like a little diamond, just a perfectly simple diamond. I fucking love it. It's so cute. I feel so stylish, and I love that someone else is wearing the other one. That's one of my besties. All right, next fanthrox. Okay, next one is from Leo.

Hey, Nikki. I was just thinking about your podcast and how much I love it. And I was kind of like, why? And I was thinking that you don't really talk about politics that much. And I think you mentioned at some point that you don't claim to know that much about politics. It's not exactly like your forte or anything. And if or when people tell you that you should know more about politics, I say no. Like, thank you so much for what you've done um if uh it's i have an escape from the constant barrage of like political information and this is an escape and it's amazing and keep doing what you're doing

don't look into it don't let it be part of your podcast oh my god i appreciate it so much it really helps me uh anyway hope everybody's having a good day thank you wait what's his name leo leo fucking thank you that is what i needed to hear not just about my you know insecurities about not knowing about politics, but like anything, you know, like just stop worrying about what you don't like or what you're not good at. Like just focus on what you are good at and what you want to be good at. And if I wanted to be good at politics, I would fucking figure it out. You know? Um, thank you, Leo. And your voice sounds like Dan Savage. Um, and Dan Savage is one of my favorite voices

and it just sounds so i just feel like dan savage listened to my podcast and i just got so fucking flattered and you sound so smart too like dan savages so um and you're obviously someone who knows a lot about politics and probably reads a lot about it and so i'm just like appreciative that someone like i'm already putting you on a pedestal because you do know about politics and which means i'm not on that pedestal with you but you told me not to do that. So thank you, Leo. Nikki, I just love how your podcast –

Dumb you are. How dumb and stupid you guys are and how you can't think of anything smart. But don't try either. Why not? No. No. No, he – No, he doesn't make you smart.

That's a joke. It's a joke. I know. I did not take it that way. And we know you – yeah, but there was – He's not wrong, though. That's funny joke. It's a joke. I know. I did not take it that way. And we know you, yeah, but there was a... He's not wrong, though. That's funny to say. No, he's not wrong.

And guess what? It's good to keep it simple because, honestly, I have no control over politics. And when I do read about them, I feel so angry. And I think a lot of people constantly consume news. And they feel like they can do something about it and unless i know you can vote and volunteer and you know make calls and stuff like that but if you aren't going to do that stuff stop if you know in your heart like that's not where your energy is going to go stop reading the news you can't control it so just fucking just opt out. There is something about when you see an insane political person.

Online, it somehow negates it and it's normal. But if you see a crazy political person in person, they seem like crazy people. They always have so many newspapers and old stained coffee cups that they got from Starbucks three days ago, but they're reusing it and getting refills. And they have crazy hair. And they always have newspapers under their arm.

And they're walking like this. And they have too many layers of clothes on. And they just seem angry and bedraggled. And they're talking about the wig party. I don't know about that but um did you see lou you you watched louie's new special right i did i watched it and i thought you know i i laughed a lot but i wasn't like wow this is going to change my perception about things but dude i've already been referencing things he laid out in there like it's already changing the way i think about things

like when my dog i'm like my dog like just hears and that was so funny and then also last night my friend saralina's grandma died and she told our group chat about it and i was like saying like i'm so sorry she died and then i was like actually like death thank god for death like we have to realize like people can't live forever. And Louie makes a point. He's like, can you imagine if people never died? Like we have people from like the 1100s being like, how do you work this QR code?

Like we can't even tolerate people in their 60s. We're like, just tap it, mom. Like just scan it. Like we get so frustrated. Can you imagine we're like dealing with Pontius Pilate and like, uh, you know, the settlers of fucking Roanoke.

And we're like, just dad, the camera, you just zoom in with your thumb. Like, it's just so funny to think about old people. Like that's a way to look at that. He made it a way for me to look at death and help my friend laugh about the fact that, like, yeah, it's inevitable and it's just something you have to accept.

And the opposite, if there were no death, that's not a world I want to live in either. And I just thought that was kind of powerful. Final thought. Yeah, I thought his elephant, like, we're giving an elephant an MRI. Like, we're doing that to them. They'll just die. They just, when they get sick,

they just, but we also give them the cancer that they get by feeding them food. I didn't putting them in captivity and causing them stress. So I think we owe it to them to, I had an argument against that. And I thought that whole thing about like, you know, if you're 600 pounds,

you have to go to the zoo to get an MRI because they don't't have them at the hospitals and yet we we've you know fall over ourselves to make bathrooms for trans people but yet you know fat people were just like go to the fucking zoo to get an mri but the thing is a bathroom takes no money to like just say hey this is all genders we it's nothing whereas building an mri to fit someone that's 600 pound is expensive and that's that's why it's not because we yeah that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it but i hate when people make points and then they throw trans people under the bus to prove their point like like, even Chappelle, it's like, just, we could still need to work on racism without saying that trans don't deserve things,

trans people don't deserve things. And that's, we can, both can be true. You can still want to make trans people feel good and acknowledge their persecution and also say we haven't fixed the the race issue both it doesn't have to be either or when you throw trans people under the bus to prove your point i'm not really a fan of that and i think it doesn't invalidate your point it just doesn't for me help anything and it's making punching someone so that you can build someone else up

does it's the it's the argument we said the other day about when you get confronted and you go will you do this it's like that doesn't it doesn't have to factor in it can just stand alone that you're that you did this thing that upsets someone you don't have to it because it doesn't you can acknowledge that on a separate issue but it doesn't have to be brought into that argument to validate something more it's called what about ism yes what about this what about that the fucking trans thing i you know leo knows i don't get political but that just be nice to them if it does how often do you have to go through your day and encounter trans people and and figure out which pronoun to use. And it's so much. How often does that happen to you?

Oh, maybe the barista is trans at the place you work and you get a little bit scared that you might blurt out, thanks, dude. Like, oh, is that the inconvenience? Because you get a little bit nervous about using the wrong pronoun. Deal with it. They have to educate everyone about their pronoun. They have to be born in a body they don't feel comfortable in i know you don't understand that because you were lucky enough to be born in the body that uh presents the way you feel inside but they weren't so fucking shut up and just take your coffee and stop bitching about it and yeah i have

a right to bitch about you because you're the problem not trans people final statement I like the banana I just get so fucking mad I like the banana bit too when he oh look at me oh that was so good I mean there were so many great bits I mean the analogy to a guy peeing with his pants at his ankles is a banana being taken all the way

down yeah you guys gotta I mean I anyhow regardless of how you feel about Louis like the bits again let's take the all that stuff out of it no matter what he is you can't help but say that that's funny like guess what now i'm not comparing him to michael jackson but i'm still gonna dance to thriller even though i believe in my heart of hearts that michael jackson penetrated little boys and fucked them up for their lives. I still think Thriller's good. I had this thought the other day in the shower about Morgan Wallen, right, who said the N-word.

And to think, like, extreme leftists. He said it to his white friends, right? He said it to his white friends when he was drunk. As he was saying goodnight when he was drunk, yes. There's context there, but you should never say whatever my point is is that liberals thought you were going to cancel a white country artist with a mullet for saying the n-word right which is crazy to think that that would happen that's why people said about the n-word tapes about trump if they come out that he said the n-word that people would like him more what are you kidding

me and then they'll be like he sounds like N-word. They like him more. What are you kidding me? They'll be like, he sounds like us. Then the extreme people that love Morgan Wallen more because he's sorry that... You're trying to cancel him. You cut out again. You're cut out. We can't hear you. We can't hear you.

We can't hear you. What if I just canceled him because he's going off about Morgan Wallen? We got to finish up the show anyway, so this is a great place to end with Andrew being quiet. Sorry, Andrew. We got to go.

Guys, I'm sorry. Noah's got to get to therapy, right, Noah? Yeah, I have my therapy today. Yeah, I'm so jealous. I would love to go. I will not be silenced. Yeah, you will. Okay, finish your thought,

and then we got to go. My point is, you don't have to buy 20 more albums to prove your fanship for Morgan you can still listen to Whiskey Glasses every once in a while but you don't need to get it tattooed on your asshole right like you don't need to go the other way like but to me if I care enough about trans

rights I can do that can be part of my identity and if morgan supporting morgan wallen is your thing but that's the thing it's like when dave chappelle said hey i i you don't need to name this theater after me if more people who don't want it donate more money than me um that that's i don't know what what do you feel about that do you feel like he's do you feel that way about that where he's asking, okay, people donate money if you like me, pretty much? I mean, I guess it's to a cause and not just his bank account.

Maybe the greater good is better in that circumstance. Yes. All right. Well, this has been a great episode we're taking next week off stay tuned to nikki glazer pod for lives we'll go live put the little alert on so you find out if we are going live andrew um i hope to see you on there at some point have so much fun in michigan oh yeah thank you and you have fun being a fruit roll up today and it was fun um living with you we didn't we we don't live together anymore.

Wait, what? I guess not. Well, one more day. Yeah, because I'm leaving the 27th and you're out by the time I get back. Well, that's a bombshell. Wait, when are you get back? I get back on...

After New Year. Yeah, maybe the second. As early as the second, as late as... Yeah, I'll be moving my stuff. But yeah, I won't be staying another night while you're staying another night yeah moving doesn't count as like living there when you're just like moving stuff yeah you can still come by but i'm gonna change the locks it was a hell of a year so fun this game of it so happy new year to everyone um i i love you so

much i can't believe a year ago you guys weren't in my lives in the way that you are. And it's just I'm so grateful for every one of you. And Noah and Andrew, thank you so much. Yeah, we've learned a lot this year. We've been through a lot. I hope you all have a great holiday and that you stay grounded and you be nice to yourselves and you indulge in the things that feel good and don't beat yourself up about indulging. Just be good to yourself. That's my wish for you. Yeah, have fun. Don't beat yourself up. Indulge. Celebrate working hard all year,

or maybe not working hard. Being a lazy piece of shit and celebrate like, hey, I was lazy this year because I needed to be. Celebrate whatever it is. It's the end of the year. It's the only time we really get to indulge in that. So make sure you feel it. Do it. I'm demanding that you do it. And if someone goes, why aren't you working today? Well, I was told by Nikki that I had to do something nice for myself,

which is lay in bed all day and go on TikTok. Do it. Whatever makes you feel good. It's the time to do it. Andrew, any final words? Final word. All right. Thanks, guys. Noah, love you. Happy

holidays. Happy New Year. And we'll see you in the New Year, guys. Don't be cuh. And Jack Dorsi. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be

a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,

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on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app,

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