The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #155 Knows One Bound

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

Nikki is fresh off her trip to Hawaii and adding extra H's to words because she feels "mahalo" for the experience. Andrew and Nikki connect for the first time in a week and they all share what they've been up to during the break. Nikki experienced something for the first time in both her top and bottom moments, a UTI and a whale, Andrew and Brenna I Love You So Much Baby had the worst and then best of times, which include tears and vomit and Noa played a juggling act with different relationships. In Nikki's Reddit Dump, they cover quick sucks, an eyebrow raising fish study and hate songs. Nikki talks about a new friend she made that has 'arrested development' in the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here I am. Happy New Year, everyone. It's been a while. It's been so long. I forgot I had a podcast. It's been a while. It's been a while. Since I have recorded a podcast with my friends it's

been a while since i've talked to andrew i mean honestly noah and i usually text and um that's how we stay in touch when we're not doing the podcast and sometimes we talk but mostly it's text and andrew i you know when we're not doing the podcast i live with you and i'm traveling with you and we're constantly in communication i have not talked to you at all at radio silence pretty much radio silence yeah i mean maybe we've sent each other one text every five days or something um and i haven't seen you since before christmas i saw you in between me seeing brenda's parents and then me going to florida for like a little bit of yeah like an hour of a hang so um it's it's been a while um i'm in Los Angeles. Andrew is in St. Louis.

Yeah, it's been a while. Malaho. Mahalo. Fuck. I just had dyslexia. Whoa, you learned a lot. Mahalo is, thank you. Aloha. Bill Maher had a joke.

I was with Bill Maher. Bill Maher? Bill Mahalo, Maharo, in Hawaii. And he had a good joke that was like, Aloha in Hawaii is hello or goodbye. And Mahalo in Hawaii is thank you or fuck you. I like it. I like it, Bill.

I like it, too. All right, let's get into Hawaii, shall we? Why don't we each, like, each get to ask burning desire questions for each other about each other's... I have so much shit that happened, it's, like, wild. Like, I don't even know where to start, but, yeah. Okay, wait, why don't we just... Why don't we do... Instead of questions, why don't we do the top three things of note, each of us.

And that includes you, Noah, because you were living life too. Okay. So let's go round robin. So just top three, no bottom three. No. Let's do a top one, bottom one. Vacation. That'll get us into it.

No, no, no. Top one, bottom one. Vacation. That'll get us into it. No, no, no. Top one, bottom one. Vacation. And we're doing this just on the fly. We always start with bottom. I hate to start on a negative note for the new year, but it feels like we're going to end on a positive note. So we're really starting off on a good one.

It is 2022. I'm feeling 22 and you want to have oh yeah feeling 20 i've been listening a lot of taylor i can't escape taylor by the way because brenna's a fucking taylor head but that's not my bottom wait okay hold on no that before we get to the top one bottom one now i'm getting distracted because you bring up taylor and i can't i can't just let that slide what song is now in your head mostly which one are you really feeling right now because like most taylor swift heads and by the way i've done a lot of swifty concerts over the break with my dad and then i took a hiatus and then yesterday i went live on

our instagram and had a little fun and a lot of comments saying like i wasn't a swifty until you nikki thank you for getting me into her um i want to just warn you if you're breaking into swifty if you're becoming a new swifty you're going to have romances with different songs that you hear upon first listen you go i'm never even gonna care about the song and then all of a sudden one day it hits you like a freight train and you can't get out of your head and you go i love this is my favorite song so uh the other day chris my lover was like um he sometimes puts on taylor swift just to get me in a good mood like if i'm in a bad mood i'll just put it on you do that too andrew everyone in my life who knows and loves me knows to do that and he was like he has some favorite taylor swift songs which i'm like so excited about because he hasn't told me that he's like, actually 1989 is like kind of a,

it's a fucking great album. And he's really into a couple of songs. I'm like, Oh my God, tell me which ones you love. And he goes, I feel kind of embarrassed. Like that.

Sometimes I've, if I put on a song, like you're going to be a Taylor Swift song, you're going to be like, Oh, this one sucks. And I'm like, Oh,

we, there's no song we don't love. And he goes, I love how you say we, and you're talking about Swifties. And that's really how i feel about being a swifty is like we all agree there's no bad songs um there's just ones we don't like as much as the others but we love them all so um that being said andrew what is your new favorite taylor swift song uh top one taylor swift song is uh no no The one that I've heard a lot is Dorothea

Dorothea That's Brenna's Yes So that's the one I hear Hey Dorothea Do you ever stop and think about me? About me Do you know it's about Selena Gomez?

Allegedly It's weird Because Brenna says When she hears that song She thinks of me So maybe my kidneys are failing Dorothea Uh-uh It's about her friend Who is like famous now And like So maybe my kidneys are failing. Dorothea.

It's about her friend who is like famous now. And like, it's not really about, it's like, sorry. Is Dorothea the female name for Andrew? Is it? No, it's Andrea. Oh yeah, Andrea. Okay, sorry. I forgot about that name.

Dorothea. Whoa. Oh, my God. You're so cute, Noah. A million people died in 9-11. Sorry, Jen. That's going to be the new, like, you're so off, but that was a great attempt. We just say a million people died in 9-11. I just thought Drew, Dorotheaa I don't know why they came together

you're not wrong and sometimes it is like that weird of a original word so Dorothea though is anyway it's a great song it's on like the male name for Nikki is Dave right

you're right that is the original it's the gaelic uh version of of nicole um andrew so dorothy okay you're listening to dorothy a lot okay tell me your top or let's tell me your bottom moment of your trip this is you know you can you can oh okay we can we're starting no are you ready to carry this heavy heaviness i think so i'm pretty sure okay brenna and i saw a man die on new year's and it wasn't even dark yet okay so well i do know that you on Instagram had said that you, I read at like, you know, 1 p.m. my time Hawaii that you had already, you were already in bed. You had saw a man throw up into a trash can.

No, Brenna threw up because she saw him die. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. She threw up from seeing a man die? It was wild. You want me to tell you the story? Oh, my God. Yes. Okay. So we were in West Palm Beach. Wait, let's go back to Taylor Swift. die? It was wild. You want me to tell you a story? Oh my god, yes.

Okay, so we were in West Palm Beach. Wait, let's get back to Taylor Swift. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. That made me throw up in the garbage. Okay. So, we're listening to Taylor and this guy gets shot in the face.

Oh my god. Just kidding. It's New year's eve we were just gonna like go over to my brother's i was like you know what let's go get appetizers and hang out outside and look over the water and actually enjoy florida a little bit because there was a lot of stress with my mom a lot of this whatever there were a lot of ups and downs from the trip i take her to this bar that I used to go to where I used to throw up all the time and get kicked out of.

It was called Bradley's. Oh, did we lose him? Yeah, we just lost him. While we're getting Andrew back, maybe we can keep this in. What do you think they saw? How do you think this man died predictions uh a heart attack just like instant i think you i don't think that would make her cry i think it's something gruesome and i he did say um we were listening to taylor swift and then a man got

shot in the face and i think he was joking but i also think he's not capable of coming up with something that fast that didn't happen so i think they saw someone get shot in the face oh so you think it was truth i hope not maybe like get hit by a truck it's gotta be something gruesome have you ever seen someone get like like a gruesome like human body thing not a human i saw a kitten get run over by a car oh it's so it traumatized me oh wait when you really want the story yeah it's pretty gruesome i was trigger warning people can skip ahead okay i was driving and i was several feet away from the car in front of me and i saw a kitten run into the street right under the tire of the car and only its head got smushed no it like you know because of the spine and stuff it like jumped up and just died so it died instantly yeah that's a good thing um but the body was still moving dude whenever i see an animal run out i like my heart stops oh it's it's i mean

anyone but you know you rarely see it i mean i hit a man with a car one time um which is a story for another time twice actually i've hit a man with a car but andrew we're trying to guess what you saw when you went in reverse dude that's so funny that's so funny and it reminds me of your friend diamond diamond this is the same joke. I thought of the same thing. I love your brain.

What do you call it? Sorry, the internet. That's your Diamond Diamond. He says it once when he goes over. If you don't know, Andrew worked with a guy named Diamond Diamond that was from Nepal, I believe. Yeah, and he said if you hit a man with your car, you want to reverse back over his body, making him full dead, because then you have to pay the medical bills his whole life. Yeah, so you might as well kill him.

But you have a better chance of getting off for murder. And apparently in Manhattan, the best way to get away with murder in the United States is to hit a pedestrian with your car in Manhattan. And murder, like, you know, purposely do it, but you'll never be found at fault because everyone gets away with it in Manhattan, which is where I got hit by a car,

but it is not where I hit a man with my car. I've told that story many times on different things and probably on this podcast. But, okay, Andrew, we took guesses as to what... I'm sorry that it went out. No, not as to what happened to you. We're guessing how the man died. Noah said a heart attack.

I said Brenda probably wouldn't have thrown up from seeing a heart attack. I think shot in the face because you had made a joke about listening to Taylor Swift and seeing him get shot in the face. So I'm guessing you just went with the thing that actually happened. So am I correct? Because I believe Noah, just there's no way that that actually happened. So am I correct? Because I believe Noah, just there's no way that that one is. I love the, my creativity knows.

One bound. One bound, yeah. One bound. Am I right? No. Oh, damn it. Okay. No, I actually don't think you're creative.

He got shot in the face twice. Oh, God. Diamond, diamond. A million people died in 9-11. Okay. What happened? Okay, Dorothea. So this is what happened.

So I took Brenna to the bar called Bradley's. It was like 4 p.m. We were just going to get a drink and some food, overlook the water. We ended up leaving there because it was too crowded. We go next door, get food. I come back. I valet my car.

Okay? I'm going to get my valet. I give the guy my ticket. I'm waiting for the car, and I look over. Did you valet your car? Did you fly down there, or did you drive? I rented a car. Got it.

So we see this guy, and he's like, you know that look where your eyes, they're just seeing through you. He's sweaty. Florida meth man. Eyes. Yeah, but not meth, but more alcohol and Coke. Yeah. But that same feeling.

But he looks like a normal guy like he's not like normally you know a homeless guy his shoes are both on and tied yeah well one's tied one's velcro okay um one bound so i look over at brenna and i go dude look how fucking this guy's gonna get his car he's so fucking drunk so we like took time to like look and analyze how drunk this guy was so we like to actually prevent him getting in his car uh yeah i thought i would have to help him up but so because he had a high truck so anyway so i'm waiting for him one bell and uh and and he starts to walk off into the parking lot, and he goes to grab, like, a white cone to, like, hold himself up. And the cone is, like, obviously not strong enough to hold him up.

He throws his drink, and he falls backwards, and he hits the back of his head. And I didn't even think he fell. He fell, like, comically slow, I thought. And blood starts gushing out of the back, like just leak, like out of a movie, like leaking like a river. Like a pool. Is he moving? He's dead. He's out.

Like, so this woman goes. How far are you away from this man? This is the thing thing i was only about 10 feet from him i could have maybe caught the guy i think oh that sucks man i'm sorry so so he's bleeding out my car comes i'm like can i can you move him a little so i can i love how you already have this punched up okay Okay, keep going. That's literally the only punchline, I swear. No, it's not.

But no, I swear. But part of me was like, can I drive around this guy? Is it bad? Karma? Is it a bad look? Wait, you got to tell me, are people around him? Okay, so I'm telling you. So I'm getting there. So I elect not to get the car.

I think I'm going to run up to him. A woman runs up before me, checks his pulse, and goes, he has no pulse. He has no pulse. Call 911. He has no pulse. Bleeding out his head, out. How old is this man? Probably 45, I'm thinking.

So another guy runs up, starts giving him CPR. This is a parking lot? Yeah, in the parking lot in front of Bradley's on New Year's Eve. So this is before the party even starts. People won't even know this happened before, which is crazy. So guy starts giving him CPR. Brenna starts crying hysterically, yelling, at the blood i can't i go go get away get away like it was like this whole like thing so she goes around the corner right i

decide that okay this guy's got cpr like i don't need to give him whatever cpr i go to you know um tell brenna to stop being a pussy no i'm just kidding that's another punch but that was just a random i knew it wasn't good i know it was but listen how do punches come to be so i punch brennan so no no and then i do a lot of coke anyways so she's throwing up in the trash can like dry heaving like like so loud and i'm like babe it's okay you know i think he's gonna be all right i think i heard someone say he might have a pulse and then i was trying are you lying no i did hear that from i i oh i walked to her then i walked back and then i came back again so she's throwing up people are walking by and i have to tell people look she saw a dead body

she's not drunk like i'm not taking advantage like i felt like weird in a way like people were judging her yeah and i wanted to protect her then this guy i swear to god this is the weirdest part of the story a guy who's like a street cleaner who works for the city comes up and goes what's going on with her and i go she's not drunk a guy fell over there and he's out cold and they think he's dead and they have to revive him. And she saw it and she's throwing up. And I swear to God, the guy looks at me and goes,

that happened to me three weeks ago. What? I mean, Florida. Listen, so then he starts showing a video that was from the security cam of him falling over and dying on the ground. I swear to God on my life. Brett, I go, she's throwing up from a guy that just died. She doesn't need to see another guy that died.

He was showing her? Yeah, me and her. While she's throwing up, she's looking up going, oh, my God. What? I'm like, sir, i'm sorry about your death but get out of here so then i go back and they said he has a pulse and they end up taking him away in the ambulance hopefully he lived i googled it and then i drove away in the valet still probably too early but it was so then the whole night you know i had to like the car ride was

intense like she was really shook up yeah and then you know we played dorothea which is the So then the whole night, the car ride was intense. She was really shook up. And then we played Dorothea, which is the other name for Andrew, and had a great time. Oh, my God. It was wild. It was wild. Isn't it wild?

Everyone that you see walking around will die someday. We're pretty much seeing future dead people constantly. And everyone will die, but we so rarely witness it in in a way like that it was it was intense i had to convince myself like oh i've seen people get hit like you do a weird mental gymnastics in your head to make it not as extreme like mma but with like dustin poirier's fist is the concrete. I swear to God, that kind of went in my mind. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Celsius. Yeah. Or I was thinking about a guy that goes to war and sees shit. Yeah, and comes back shell-shocked. To Nebraska with no phone and just has to think about it on a porch. Oh, my God. Wild. Wild.

Sorry. Nook to distract i mean oh that is people i mean i've i've been on reddit before and people have said like you know they share things of like what's the most horrific thing that you've ever witnessed and it's people share things like this and there was a sam harris interview that i listened to or he was on did a podcast with ricky gervais that i listened to or he was on did a podcast with ricky gervais that i listened to and he was talking about seeing someone in um i think like bangladesh get like he saw the aftermath of a guy gets like splattered everywhere people were throwing up from how like and it was the worst thing he's ever seen in his life and like people went like there's listeners right now thinking of the thing that they saw that made them i've never gotten viscerally sick though from seeing carnage um no i have you did the kitten incident we talked about

something no i witnessed i don't want to relive it but did you get have you ever gotten ill from something that you didn't think would make you ill not really i can't really think of anything yeah i it but it it happens obviously because especially another human being you just like the shock of seeing life being able to like be taken so quickly i mean i think i thought of like because i've been to that bar hundreds of times yeah there i know it's like a selfish kind of way to think of it but then it makes me think like Like, because I've been to that bar hundreds of times. That could have been you. Yeah. I know it's like a selfish kind of way to think of it, but then it makes me think like, oh, I quit drinking three years. Like, I easily could have been that guy a few years ago.

I saw some article about a guy who jumped a turnstile in, you know, Queens or something. And he just tripped a little bit and hit his head and died right there just from hitting his head. And the people in the Reddit, subreddit, were talking about how like, how the human body can be so fragile yet so durable. Like there are people that have survived

like plane crashes, yet there are other people that like trip and hit their head and it's like, good night. So it's just so, it's so scary i'm sorry you witnessed that is brenna okay yeah she's all right she's all right i mean luckily we had sex before that because oh my god it would have been tough for her to throw up twice that day

reverse diamond diamond Amdrip. Okay. How about we go to break really quick? And Andrew sighs deeply. Oh, sorry. I was just trying to breathe. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

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When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it.

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Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back. Noah, what was your worst thing of your time off? Nothing like Andrew's. I actually had a really good time off off so it's hard to think of it but i guess um i have a group of friends here that we all spend time together um and we always get together other as a group but one of the couple now is going through a really messy divorce so just having to navigate the two friendships and you know like one of them is ousted from the group

and avi and i are really good friends with this person so it's just really complicated yes and what what do you do with that like when you get ousted i mean that's gotta like why do you do you pick the woman or the Did you pick? I think you pick the person who you feel closest to. Well, I'll say this. That's true. I hear both sides. And I can relate to the woman more because I've been in the position that she's in and, like, where that anger comes from. But what I hear from the guy is that it's a little bit more sensible and like neutral.

So when you hear one person gossiping or whatever and the group is, you know, trying to comfort them and then you hear the other side of the person who's being vilified and they're not really, you know, it's relationships go bad there's more to the story than what each person is saying yes it's just it just sucks so oh that book attached i keep reading it and i'm learning how so many relationships are doomed and people don't

even know it because they're opposite attachment styles and they And there's truly no hope for those people. They will always be miserable. And they'll stay together and be miserable forever. And constantly going on this roller coaster of good and bad, good and bad. Or they're going to break up. Unless they become aware of it and really work. Even if you work at it it it's kind of nearly impossible is what I'm learning from this book it's pretty interesting and a little bit demoralizing

but as a woman who like isn't locked into anything right now um it's it's eye-opening and it makes me feel like oh good I'm glad I got to read this book before I made any final decisions about my life because uh this book has just helped me so much and it's really helped me make decisions that I honestly would have never thought that I would make that are ultimately going to be the best ones I think because I'm just seeing myself in this book so much in places that I almost skip the chapter because I go I'm not gonna be this and then I start reading it I'm like oh my god I'm this it's very interesting no I'm continuing to read it like you said I'm not gonna just do a third of it and I love it um and I'm realizing I think I've said this before. Old anxious attached is pretty avoidant recently. But I read yesterday that, you know,

when you're in a relationship where it's like someone's anxious and someone's avoidant, like that can't work. But enlesse these things. And I was like, oh, good, I'm all of the enlesses, which is acknowledging it, working on it. And a lot of avoidance, the problem with avoidant and attached and anxious attached is when, when the avoidant becomes avoid avoiding the anxious, that triggers the anxious to become more anxious, which triggers the avoidant to become more

avoidant. And then the avoidant becomes more avoidant. And they, so it's like, they both trigger each other's worst qualities that detract the other one. And I though, I'm avoidant in many ways. But when an avoidance always typically avoid reconciliation and talking about what's wrong. Because if you talk about what's wrong, you get closer to someone. And avoidance biggest fear is intimacy. And so they avoid addressing the issue. And I do not do that. And so I was like, okay, good.

I don't have that avoidant quality. Does any of this make sense? Is the avoidant person doing it to protect themselves or the other person? Themselves. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because avoidance are scared of intimacy and they want any kind of and and being and losing their independence and feeling like they they're gonna be beholden to someone and they're not gonna get alone time and all these things like

they think that a relationship is going to just strip them of their independence and their autonomy and they also have a thing thing where they think that there's better people out there they just haven't met them yet and they glamorize everyone they haven't met and they also focus on the neck like when they're in a negative place with their partner they can't remember any of the good it's like they just rearranged their mind so that the person they're with that is needing them too much the anxious person who is it is coming on too strong because they're anxious attached and the only way anxious attached people feel better is if the avoidant person makes them feel better by like being as

if someone secure goes listen i hear you're anxious but this is the truth of the matter and i'm okay i'm with you don't worry and avoided people cannot do that and won't do that so the anxious attach never gets to feel better and is always going to be more anxious and the and it's going to explode and then they break up and then they always come back together because they need each other to validate their internalized views of themselves which is i avoided people need a needy person to validate that the world is against them and wants them to um you know wants to take from them wants them to be theirs wants to capture them and needy people need someone who's avoiding them to validate their

belief that they are unlovable so they'll always come back together it's such a fucking it's uh it's also the book i was reading called the human magnet syndrome about narcissists and codependents which is i guess another way of saying avoidant and um you know anxious but anyway um my bottom was that uh monologue i just went on my no my bottom moment was i got my first UTI over the trip. Thank you. I'm a real woman now. Yeah, I was very constipated the whole trip.

I literally did not poop for like five days. And we were eating like these rich, thick gourmet meals. And I was just like, just weighed down by like oil-soaked veggies and I was looking at pictures of myself on like on the the dinner before New Year's on the 30th and we Bill Marr and I and uh Chris Reed uh kid kid of kid and play uh took a picture and I look pregnant and all the photos and i was sucking in as much as possible and i was like what is going on i was like oh my god i am so constipated and i don't know if the constipation led to the uti or the uti caused the constipation but um no have

you ever had a uti yeah i have um does it feel like you need to shit out of your vagina and you can't yes like a constant burning pressure that's what i and i have bleeding too yes and i was pissing blood clots yes yeah that's what it is like i like i thought i literally was wiping and i saw blood and i'm like is this coming from my asshole because i've never bled from my like pee like it didn't make sense that this blood could be coming from anywhere else. Cause I was like digging up my vag hole to see if it was like period blood. And it wasn't. And I'm like, am I,

it's from my ass. And then I'm like, but nothing's coming out of there. I was pissing out of my tiny pee hole tissue, blood tissue. It looked like I was like having a miscarriage out of my vagina. In my urethra. Did you have discharge? Did you have any discharge? It was just like pee. Like my pee was bloody.

And like not like I ate beets, but like blood. And I was just. So what did you do? Well, the thing was it would only flare up at night and then I would just like cry and like be like oh. And then I would wake up in the morning and everything would be fine. And then I would still not be shitting, but I would be like, oh, it would be. And then at night it would flare up again. And then it, I felt like it went away. And my friend Corey that I met on the trip was like, bitch, it does not go away. Like there's no way. And I'm like, yeah, my body just healed itself. And then I came back to LA and I finally got to poop and I felt so much relief.

And then I went to Six Flags the other day and I went with my friend Corey that I met on the trip and Chris and Carlisle and her boyfriend Chase. And I was like, I don't know what to do. And she's like, dude, go to an urgent care or just call, like email your doctor. Do you have a doctor? I'm like, I think so. And so I emailed my doctor and was like, I have a UTI. It's my first one.

I'm like, there's like bloody tissue coming out of my puss and she was like oh i'll just get you some so now i'm on antibiotics i've been i've taken i've been on them for two days and it's it's it was gone after the first pill like it's it's fine now but i gotta finish them you know so that's that's the worst that sounds pretty bad because I had to be in like a swimsuit and I'm just like have so much, like being constipated, it sucks so much. But thank God for the fact that I,

so on this trip, I was with my lover and we enjoy a type of sex that I need to have, you know, a douche for. And I forgot it. I brought all my toys, have you know a douche for and uh i forgot it i brought all my toys but i forgot my douche i'm like fuck like i can't have anal sex if i don't have that thing and so right before we left for the trip we were in la for a couple days the morning of we walked over to the

hustler store and bought like this anal douche kit and thank god i fucking had that because i was in such pain i couldn't poop i did i we just didn't ever go to the pharmacy or anything and i was like it's just gonna it's gonna come as soon as i get on like you know america like you know uh the contiguous united states soil mainland yeah and it didn't and then i was like in the middle of the night one night i was like maybe if i because i know that when i use that i can get everything out and i was like what if i did this and oh my god it saved my life i if i wasn't so good at it i would have never attempted to do that i would have just been in pain and waited for like a laxative to run through my system which would have been runny and disgusting instead i just squirted water up there for like

you know, 20 minutes and got everything out. And I was like, I'm a new woman. God, it was amazing. Being constipated sucks. You feel like there's like a fucking, you know, what's it called? A compost pile in your,

like, it just feels like thick. Like there's a corpse of like food. Like a landfill. Yeah, there's like a landfill of poop in you. It so gross i felt like i think when johnny cash flying around you john wayne when john wayne was dissected or like autopsy they found him like 60 pounds of like uh shit in his colon like 60 pounds of compacted what and i felt like john wayne make my day yeah okay so andrew top uh top uh break moment um i had i had a good amount of tops uh i would say moving in with with brenna now has been a top but one of the tops that was kind of sad, too.

My mom was in the hospital the whole time we were in Florida with a UTI. She was fucking a lot. No, no, no. She has COPD. And she had a flare-up with her lungs. So she went to the emergency room the night before we went down to florida so the whole time she's in the hospital there's a lot of other drama that like went down with my dad whatever but we don't have to get into that my mom eventually gets out of the hospital the day before two nights before we leave so like five nights into the trip she's out she got out she broke out

she broke out they were like ma'am you need your oxygen she's like i'm fucking she started skipping i don't know she was excited to see me um so could you go visit her or no i did visit her with my little brother and it was an interesting visit because my mom's on steroids like a prednisone or something so it's like i don't know i just found it weird that like steroids is for a guy to hit an 800 foot home run or to have my mom eat a sandwich like i just find it like those are like the two things and my mom was like sitting there and what does steroids do to your mom like why is that of note she's a she's amped but she also has no energy so it's like a so she's like talking but she's also like like barely breathing so it's like but she

has energy to talk so she she honestly she sounded like the godfather like like payment like that like that was the vibe and she was sitting in a chair like it was it was it was interesting whatever so we go to the hospital meet my little brother because of covid it was hard to like get in there um so she eventually gets out of the hospital and um i want to introduce her to brenna but i have to go to a hockey game that night with my dad, and I don't want Brenna to meet my mom without me for the first time. Yeah. So that was the whole thing about whether or not I should go to the hockey game or whatever.

So anyway, long story short, sorry, my mom gets out. Did you go to the hockey game? I did, but Brenna didn't meet my mom. I went and saw my mom. Brenna, I was like, look, she'll meet you tomorrow. We could wait a day. So did Brenna just stay in her room. I went and saw my mom. Brenna, I was like, look, she'll meet you tomorrow. We could wait a day. So did Brenna just stay in her room? Yeah.

When your mom came? Huh? Your mom came home and Brenna just didn't come to meet her? Because she just didn't want to, like, I would have had to, like, leave her there without, I don't know, it's kind of awkward to meet someone's parent without a spouse. But was anyone there or was your mom just there alone?

No, my brother and, it was was a weird thing it was a weird situation yeah but so which led to a fight about over gps which wasn't about gps that's a whole nother thing sorry i love yeah that's another thing in attached is like couples get fights, and it's never about what the thing is. It was so funny. I asked her where Walgreens was, and she put it in her phone, and it was like 2.8 miles. And then I realized, wait, I know where fucking Walgreens is from my brain. But she's like, let's just go to that one. And I was like, well, let's just use my brain.

She's like, well, that's only a mile farther. And I was like, well, can I use my brain? But the fight was over whether or not I should go to the hockey like well why does can i use my brain like that was but the fight was over whether or not i should go to the hockey game really and you wanted to use your brain yeah and you weren't when you went to the hockey game not at all so anyways we made up it ended up being great but my mom gets out of hospital i go over there it's just me and my brother we have to go to the bank to like talk about like weird shit about like my mom dying and like money being beneficiary like this whole like i don't know it

makes things real you know like yeah and um my mom wasn't able to shower in the hospital for like four days and her hair is like frizzled and my mom loves to look you know pretty and you forget like a woman just wants to even when she's dying and like and at her lowest point she's still you know you want to like uh it's like hard to talk about yeah uh i'm sorry andrew oh boy i promised myself i would cry I'm sorry, Andrew. Oh, boy. I promised myself I would cry. No, it's all right. It's so hard.

I'm sorry. So, yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Anyhow, I haven't done my nails in a while. Yeah, like a UTI. So, I end up, even in sadness, call back. Hey, I haven't done my nails in a while. Yeah, like a UTI. So I end up, even in sadness, callback, ham drip. Your eyes are ham dripping. No, it's sweet.

That's what people call my nipples. Are you just thinking about your mom in the ocean? You think about how your mom will never get to go to a hockey game again something she never went to in the first place she loved the ranger um no so my mom goes um will you help wash my hair in the sink because she can't even shower and i swear there was just a moment where i was like my whole life me and my mom never like you know because of drinking and like whatever like we never like when she would touch me like later in life like rub my back or anything like i could never hug her because i felt like i don't know

there just wasn't a connection because i wanted her to be better for herself and i think it caused me to be avoided attached yeah and you have a lot of anger about that it's like too late bitch i'm not saying that about your mother but like i felt that way too of like don't get close to me now like you should have done this when i was little and it just feels awkward it just doesn't feel like and so yeah my initial reaction when my mom's like can you wash my hair and her hair is like frizzled and like, you know, like really like. That's not a word. I'm like, oh, I don't even.

Yeah, she's completely frizzled out. And I'm like, she's got the, she's on the frizz. And I go, my initial reaction was like, oh, my God. I got to fucking touch my, like, what is she doing asking me this? Like, and I'm so selfish so fucking selfish man so anyways I fucking start washing her hair and I fucking put the shampoo in and I'm washing her and I'm knowing that this is making her so fucking happy this little thing and um I put conditioner in and I'm combing her hair and I swear to god like there was like a

moment and like it could be like in a movie or like whatever where it's like oh i can help her and like i don't have this guard up because mentally i'm okay now in a way it was a lot it's still a lot and like just combing her hair and then brenna cut her nails for her and it was like this moment of like where we i'm looking over at brenna like cut and giving my mom a manicure and it was just like okay this is fucking why relationship shit is fucking amazing yeah oh i'm so happy for you that's anyhow that's a lot dude thank you for sharing that it's so so sweet. Good job, dude. This is all really... It's fun.

It's good closure stuff. Yeah. It's really hard, though. That's so sweet. But then I went to the bank and I found out how much money I was getting. I was like, that's worth it for the hair shampoo. You know?

Okay. What's your top one, noah you see a guy die that's not my top one my top one is very similar to andrew oh yeah yeah so um you know i i talked about it on the podcast and I had a lot of besties reach out, which was so nice and sweet. And I realized a lot of other people have a disconnection with a parent. I'm not the only one in this world. But I had been wanting to use the holiday time as a, you know, just like an impetus to reach out to my mom and see how she's doing after not speaking to her for a very long time. And I did it. You know, I wished her Happy New Year. And I said, you know, can we chat this weekend?

And it was really good. It was a very good conversation. And this is crazy. But, you know, I had been thinking about this for a while now, probably over a month, you know, like I got to do this. I mean, since the show, it was just like burning. It was just like burning my chest. Like I have to do something.

I don't feel good about this. And I had this like nerve pain in the back, like in my back. Like, I don't know what it is, like wing or whatever. Like if I would have wings, it's where a wing would be. Yeah. Just like a nerve pain. Then my shoulder hurt and my my neck hurt i've just been carrying that for the last couple of weeks and after that phone call it didn't completely go away but it's like already 50 gone wow wow and did the phone call feel better, worse, what you expected?

Much better. I mean, I have to think a lot about going into it. What information am I going to divulge? How am I going to direct the conversation if it starts going to a negative place? You have to do a lot of mental gymnastics. So my mom's always been very good at being creative and um house decorating she's just so talented she has such good taste so i was just like okay i'm gonna ask her for help so it'll give her like a little bit of a purpose i'll be receptive to that information because i know it's

gonna be good and it was it was Oh, it's so great when the, like at what I'm, the pattern here is like, we can do better than our parents not to like, be like, see mom, fuck you. Like I'm going to be different,

but like, that's why you have kids is to be better than like you and to heal some of the stuff that you're not ready to, you weren't equipped to do and like it it falls on the child to become the adult in the situation and both of you exhibited that um in those stories so good job to both of you thank you and thanks for sharing those things because it's not easy to share that stuff that like can unexpectedly get you into um like emotions that are uncomfortable on a comedy podcast so um i and i know the besties love you for it um my uh my top moment was um seeing a whale which I posted on my Instagram.

And it was, so Chris, my ex-boyfriend who I'm dating and who I honestly like, we almost broke up two nights before Christmas. We literally were on the phone breaking up, finally being like, we're not doing this anymore. And it was really just a bad, we were going to therapy, and we had a really bad therapy session. And we didn't have time in that therapy session to like put a bow on it, or like just kind of put a little like, even like a cork in it and we just like were open wounds and and for us to like get through hard times we need to like talk for hours and feel really understood and we

always come out so much better but um we didn't have time and so we didn't talk for a couple days and literally broke up on the phone and then we just couldn't get off the phone like because once we said goodbye on the phone call we knew it would be like over over and then we were like let's just why like one of us gave in and then the other guy you know and um he ended up going to Hawaii with me on this trip with Bill Maher and it was just like I don't know. I think that, and maybe I could, you know, who knows what I'll say in the future, but I think that I have in the past like felt because Chris was the only person I've ever dated really

like seriously in this way. And like is actually an available person. The only available person that isn't a complete alcoholic that I've dated, that didn't have a girlfriend, didn't live in a different city, like he's that I thought, you know, I couldn't have possibly got it right the first time. Like, there's just no way. And, you know, we don't, we're not perfect and all of these things. And there's been issues where I'm like, I can't date someone who does this. But, you know, I have all these hard lines. Like, I think that I projected a lot of perfection

onto other people or like other relationships. And I'm like, I want a guy like that. Or man, I'm looking at that guy on Instagram and that relationship. I'm like, he wouldn't do the things that Chris does in my relationship. Like, or I have like a friend. I'm like, oh, the way I get along with her.

Like, if I could just like if if if you know that could be I want a relationship that's like that friendship but like also with sex and like the thing is like what my relationship may lack in the way that I look at some of my friendships is that my friendships or people's relationships that I look at I don't know what they're like intimately but i do know what that that's not fair to compare that and i and i think that i know but i don't fucking know and what i did realize on this trip is that i have someone who like although isn't we clash a lot on things like overall this person is always willing to is now i know and wasn't in the past but it's like willing to work on anything and is willing to kind of honestly i have the

thing that i always wanted that i heard will smith has with jada pinkett smith which is like uh you can do anything and there are no deal breakers like i'll never leave you like we can get through anything and like that doesn't mean he's not going to get upset with me and and we're going to have weird moments but we found we found this new way of communicating that i originally came up with with kirsten when i was in like fifth grade we like were best friends since fourth grade inseparable from the second we met and we had this like shorthand speak like that we just we just were real it was the first like relationship where I was like I just don't have to be anything but completely myself I never have

to act like I'm in a good mood I never have to act like I'm in a like I'm completely real and one time we got into like a little fight about something it was like our first fight and our we went to the limited in west county mall and we were in like fifth grade and we were looking through shirts and it was after a fight we had patched it up but we hadn't actually addressed what was really going on and so we were in this weird area that i think everyone can relate to where you are just being really like overly like gentle and nice with each other but you're still like laden with resentment but you're just tiptoeing and kirsten and i both i remember

kirsten might have been the first one to call me on it and she's like because i we were looking at some sweatshirts or something and i was like isn't this cute this is so cute and she's like yeah oh my gosh um well i'll try this one on do you want like what size do you want like we were just being so overly nice and yes and one of us goes we're acting like new friends and we just kept going new friends and we called out the awkwardness by saying new friends because this little like fake like oh so like um yeah like do you want to go to dinner later like that that kind of like dumb talk you have with your boyfriend after you're like in a fight and it's helped me so much I told Chris about this and he's like wow you guys were like funny even back then like that's such a

astute observation for like fifth graders and I was like we really were like new friends was the first like kind of bit we ever did and now chris and i do new friends and the other night that's where we get into trouble is when we fight the awkwardness before we go what the fuck is this about or like i'll go hey i'm really sorry i'm late like i was running late and he's just like it's fine and then we're in this like new friends like did you call the uber uh yeah they're running late oh i hate this app and like we're just having this fucking elevator small talk and last night we got into like a little thing and I was just like new friends you're new friendsing me what's really going on like I know you're upset what what happened and it just like cut through and he

like laughed because he knew what new friends meant it was just like a beautiful way to like cut through the tension anyway I really like fell in love with my ex-boyfriend over this trip because on the way to Hawaii, he was like, I thought maybe we could go whale watching. And I'm like, I didn't even know we could go whale watching in Hawaii. Like I don't even, I think of that as like an Alaska thing. And there's humpback whale watching in Hawaii. We're in the middle of the season. We go on a private charter that he sets up and it's just me and him on this boat.

And we see a humpback whale and on the you they're everywhere in this bay complete there there's hundreds of them and we see little spouts coming up but you don't get you can't get closer than a football field unless you get close enough and then they swim over to you which doesn't happen except it did happen we we got mugged which is the actual term for it we were mugged by a humpback whale it was circling our boat and obsessed with us and i and i said on the way out i go what's the he's been doing this 25 years i go what's the coolest thing that's happened out here and this guy was like you know the best thing is when i've had passengers like dunk their heads over and put their snorkels

in and they're i can hear them squealing because they see the whale like up, like they can spot the whale like in the water and not from like far away because the water's too murky to see it if you put your head in, if we're far away from what the normal distance is. And fuck you guys, I saw, I was dunking my head in so much.

I made eye contact with a fucking wild humpback whale, which I've been obsessed with a fucking wild humpback whale, which I've been obsessed with whales forever. It was such a majestic, magical moment. And this whale, I felt connected to it. I felt like it saw me. And these whales are only there to breed and give birth. They come all the way down from Alaska.

There's no food in this bay in Hawaii, like in this bay in Hawaii, like in this, you know, channel. There's only fucking, fighting over females, which they never fight to the death. They always help each other out. They like kind of bump each other, but they'll never fight to the death. They're very gentle. And there's wingmanning. They help each other fuck. And there's birthing. And then they get pregnant and they go all the way back up and then they give birth up there. And, or they give, sorry, they give birth down here and they go all the way back up and then they give birth up there and or they give sorry they give birth down here and they go all the way up with their babies because it's safer in these warmer waters and there's not killer whales and there's no predators in these waters and there's no food they're just starving to death here and like it was just so fucking interesting and he put a microphone in the water and it was just like you could hear all the

whale activity it was like you were at a fucking stadium of how hundreds of whales just like you could hear all the whale activity it was like you were at a fucking stadium of how hundreds of whales just like it was just it was so cool i i was blown away and it was only because like chris knew i cared about whales and he knows that i don't really like adventures but he picked one that was like perfect for me and i just had the best trip with him ever and um i had the best trip with bill mar and all his friends it was just a great trip let's take a break and then we'll come back and we'll do a little bit of a reddit dump 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money.

We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you

to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed.

You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like Unpaid Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow,

Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model.

Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread

than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail.

It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,

and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's do a Reddit dump. Karaoke mode.

This is your Reddit dump. All right. I hope I have some good stuff. Oh, okay. So this was in the subreddit sex. And it said, I let my husband suck a boobie to help with his occasional anxiety before bed. I told a friend and she shamed me hard so this woman is said that it started with my husband when i was pumping breast milk for our kid i had a bad clog i guess she was wearing crocs and he sucked it out of me out for me over time

it progressed into a nightly routine i'd finish my last pump of the day he'd clean up and then we'd go to bed and he'd nurse for like 10 minutes this helped soften my breasts so i could sleep comfortably eventually i stopped producing milk and our routine ended then something terrible happened he had a loss in the family that devastated him he had a lot of anxiety in the night and would be upset one night i was cuddling him to help calm him down and he was nestled between my breasts i could feel his breath and lips against me he started to kiss them and then i kind of instinctively lifted myself up and so his you know his mouth was aligned with my nipple he took the sign and started suckling he almost instantly calmed down and was able to get to sleep soon after so this started another trend in our

relationship it often leads into other sexual activities but sometimes it's a it's a quick a quick suck and we go to sleep i told my friend the above and was essentially shamed to hell we are being weird and juvenile she said he shouldn't need to suck your breasts to go to sleep it made me feel terrible what do you think do other couples have different opinions or practices i was thinking andrew probably would be into that i honestly i started salivating i was like oh my god this like, I want my binky and it's your tits. I mean, why can't boys, I like wouldn't hate for someone to suck on my tit like a

baby, like a man. I know that's so weird, but like there's something about it where I was like, I wonder how long you've done it for and like, what if they have another baby and then they're fighting over the nipple? No, this seems like a bedtime thing that like, and it leads to sex usually i love it i think it's like romantic i really do i don't think it's weird i really don't um i mean i think it's weird but i don't

think i would judge anyone for it i mean it's weird in the sense that i don't think a lot of people do it but i think um yeah more people should I think it could be weird if he's like puts a diaper on and then like she puts fucking baby powder on his asshole and then she's like I want my bottle you know that would be weird but if it's just a guy who just needs to suck a little bit to kind of like sucking a thumb this and you can provide that fuck yeah you could be a manly nipple sucker i think so too noah well i don't approve of sex shaming anyone for whatever weird kink right they have even if they're wearing a diaper but i have this nor yeah exactly same and i know that you do too i went too far i know i know it was a joke uh but i have a weird like fantasy where i want my nipples like

sucked so hard that they turn like black and blue like there's like bruises around them wait that weird you gotta do you gotta get avi into this i keep trying i mean i haven't explicitly told him this i'm sharing it with you first but i think this has got to be a normal fetish. Because sometimes I get my tits sucked so hard I feel like they're going to have bruises. And so I know that their guys

like to do that. And babies leave bruises. It's a very just because a baby does it and we don't sexualize children obviously doesn't mean it can't also be sexual. And that doesn't mean it's wrong. I don't sexualize children, obviously, doesn't mean it can't also be sexual. And that doesn't mean it's wrong. I don't think.

Yeah, I think you just got to ask him. Nipples suck till they're black and blue, Noah. You've got to get it. Okay, I'll keep you posted. Yeah, let him know. I think you should. You split his ball sack with your nose. Yeah, and then say, hey, baby, why don't you rough up my nips?

And then I don't think he'll think it's that weird. Just be like, suck harder. No, harder. From sucking them? I feel like they'd have to be sucked really, really hard for a good while. Yeah. So maybe that's what you want. And maybe he would be into that.

You don't even know. What's his favorite condiment? Chocolate. Throw it on him. Okay on there we go throw it on i was saying that i was so constant because my boobs were huge over the in hawaii and i was like hawaii i i love that i say it weird um and i was saying that i was because chris was like, your poops, Jesus Christ. And I was like, I think I'm backed up. I was like, I got shit tits. I really ruined my tits for him. I was like, they're just, they're filled with shit. It's all the way.

You got shitty titties? I got those shit tits. Those full shit tits. Oh, fuck. My bed is here. Fuck. Your bed is here? Yeah.

We can end the show without you. Peace out. No, I'm not going to hang up. Here, I'll just, it's fine. Are you sure? I'm five minutes. Okay, so I saw an Ask Women. The subreddit says,

what's one tiny daily habit you have that makes your life run a bit smoother? I was just wondering what your guys would say, but I want to read some of these. This is obviously just women. This was actually something that a bestie wrote into me that we talked about on the show that helped them. But this person says the two minute rule, originally reading it as getting things originally read in it in getting things done, which I guess is a book. The rule is anything that takes less than two minutes, do it straight away,

writing it down and then doing it later will take longer. Love that. Someone says my kitchen must be spotless before bed. Ideally, I set the coffee pot too. Someone says I make my bed as soon as I wake up. What about you guys? Anything come to mind that you're like, oh, drinking water in the morning? Yeah.

Yeah, just making a smoothie takes less time, didn't you think? Like, we always think, oh, we got to get all the ingredients. I just throw it in there. I started drinking them the last two days. Very simple. Food prep. That shit's easy. Dividing my clothes.

Like, that was a big thing from moving to the new place. Dividing your clothes gotta close like what could go to goodwill and what do i need and you just like be like i can't get rid of things i have so much attachment to it and then you're like oh that took four minutes to be like i don't need 25 of my wardrobe anymore i like that um yeah i don't know simple things like that that you build up in your head yes i think that because i think you're so efficient with your like time and stuff yeah i think that um i usually am i just i think that being reasonable about how long things will take is a helpful thing of like just always add on more time than you think or just at least start paying attention to how long things actually take.

Um, I think that, um, one thing I, I do now that I think is great is not doing all or nothing things. Like, and I think that goes into the two minute thing. Like there are so many times that I go,

I can't work on that thing because I don't have time to do it all. Well, the whole job is going to be seven hours why would I ever think I could do it all in one like but that's how I work I do things in seven hour chunks and then I kill myself and I dread it and cleaning your room like you can't maybe have time to clean your whole room but you have time to do one like five minute thing put one jacket away put like one little thing straightening one little area can give you like a sense of it can spread much easier and just not doing things in increments and not being so obsessed with perfection and having all or nothing and I think that's helped me a lot. Cause I want it all. Or nothing at all.

That's how I live my life. Okay. This is from Today I Learned. Today I Learned there's an 18% average mortality rate for catch and release fishing with the rate varying significantly between species. So on average if you're doing catch and release and you feel like a fucking hero

almost 20% of those fish, one in five are going going to die just because you caught them in the first place. Good to know, I think. Because I think people just go, oh, we're such a good person. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree with that. I just feel like they're probably going to die pretty soon anyways. What? Get eaten by whales.

They'll get eaten. No. That's not how it works. They'll get eaten. No. That's not how it works. What kind of fish? All fish look almost exactly identical. How do they know which fish and how long they live? They're experts. What are they?

Send out a census? They probably are like, census? I don't know, but you guys just, it's good to know. Don't, don't pry. Just no one should fish. I always feel bad for fishes that have their, like, it's traumatizing to have a fucking hook in your mouth. A lot of times you can't get it out.

You have to rip like fish feel pain by the way. So anything you're telling yourself about fishing and how it's like, oh, I'm not keeping it. Like, well then you're tossing it back in. It's going to die. And I know it's going to die anyway, but so are are all of us so should we just all hook ourselves in the mouth like no all right um what is this is from ask reddit what's your i fucking hate this song song song song mine is moves like jagger Mine is Moves Like Jagger. I don't...

Ooh, Moves Like Jagger. What is your I fucking hate this song song? Oh, yeah, I hate that. I mean, that one song, somebody I used to know went from good for one day to the worst song I've ever heard in my life. I don't know why.

Someone said the TikTok song, Oh, no, no, no. no no no that one i don't know that one i don't like that song let the bodies hit the floor oh my god i feel like that's i would describe that as the only kind of music you listen to unless it's your nipples like that would and really hard um that's so funny uh fancy like by walker hayes i don't know that fight song people are saying fight song a lot i love fight song fancy likes terrible it's just new country song i'm going to apple bays on a tuesday on a wednesday getting drunk with my friends on a thursday oh my god everyone's saying fancy like on this Ask Reddit. I'm an island boy. People hate that song.

These don't count as songs to me. Fight song. Why are people saying fight song? I love that song. This is my fight song. I liked it until that. Someone said, oh, ha, ha. You know the TikTok song that's like, oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, the TikTok song that's like, oh, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Shape of You and Baby Shark. I love, I'm in love with Shape of You. I love Shape of You.

People hate that song. I've heard that a lot. Damn. Wow. People sing fight song because it's the cancer anthem. Oh. Wow. Girls Like You by Maroon 5.

I kind of like that song. All right. God, it's all the same songs. It's so funny. The ones that are played the most. Final thought. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're right.

But no, there are some songs that are played a lot that I don't mind. Yeah. I guess. But yeah, you're not wrong. This was true off my chest. This was from the subreddit true off my chest. I threw a Christmas party a week ago and no one other than my mom showed up. A few of my coworkers offered explanations when I asked about it the next time I saw them.

But no one else even gave me an excuse. It sucks too because I spent more money than I should have on the decorations and food then spent the night staring out the window waiting for guests only for no one but my mom to show up after i called her crying about it the whole thing hurts more than i can ever admit oh that sucks i mean what were their excuses i wonder i mean did they say they were gonna go like why did it me... That makes me so fucking sad. And we've all been there of, like, just feeling like no one cares and we're being left out

and, like, trying too hard, like, getting dressed up for something that no one else cared about. Or, like, it's just such a lonely feeling. I'm sorry for anyone who felt it. I had the opposite happen. I had the opposite happen. Too many people showed up? You didn't have a party and everyone showed up? Well, I had a party, or like it's just such a lonely feeling sorry for anyone i had the opposite happen i had too many

people wait you didn't have a party and everyone showed up well i had a party and too many people showed up and some of those people like i had spent so much money on like cold cuts and like this is at a time where i had like no money but i really like wanted to make it a nice party for people and people came in and they put like their cigarettes out on the cold cuts it just like went totally out of control oh my god and i had a similar feeling at the end i felt so like violated interesting so maybe both ways the silver lining is she didn't have to clean up all the shit that would have happened yeah she had to clean up her decorations that were not even used and like all the food it's it's such a lonely feeling for people who don't have friends

it is not your fault it is a lucky thing to have friends like it's just you're in the right place at the right time some people like live in areas where everyone sucks and you're there because of what like it's not your fault if you don't have friends especially if you're listening this podcast you're cool as fuck. And I really mean that. Like, you can't enjoy this podcast if you're not, like, someone who's emotionally intellectual. And maybe I'm patting myself on the back, but I just believe that to be true. I think, like, I bring it back so other people could enjoy it. What did you say?

Like, I'm not that emotionally, like, intelligent. Yes, you are. You cried on the show today buddy never happened never happened oh yeah uh you cried also can we talk about larry david tomorrow to tease it oh yeah i mean i was gonna talk about um just how that party thing reminded me of i'm watching arrested development again because on the trip I was with one of the like the attorney blah blah blah uh I was I was with one of the writers of Arrested Development who who wrote the first season and subsequent episodes with Mitch Mitchell Hurwitz and who was the creator

and he was like they met and um they met on the Golden girls staff and then they mitchell started uh you know created arrest development and wrote with jim valile like they two wrote it and his name's jim valile and he's amazing he's like the best guy ever i love him so much he's so funny so cool i got all my arrested development questions answered um and i'm going back and watching the first season with chris and we're having so much fun but that that party thing reminded me of just Lucille Bluth, the mother, the matriarch. She's having a surprise party, and no one is there constantly

because all of her children hate her. Everyone on the show is just detestable and hilarious, but it's such a fucking great show, and I can't believe I know one of the creators now. Or one of the main two writers. Makes me think that that show is like if Succession had more of a sense of humor. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

And I even said that Lindsay Bluth, Portia de Rossi, reminded me of the girl. What's her name? Oh, not Stu. Siv. Siv. Shiv. Shiv. Shiv. Shiv. Stu. the girl what's her name oh um not stew um god uh uh shiv shiv shiv shiv shiv stew is that right shiv it is shiv god that reminds me of a joke from arrest development where the the father is in prison and he says um you know i i'm worried about in the showers. Like I could get strangled or something worse. And Buster goes, or like stabbed. And he goes, in a way. Or something like that.

It was so good. I just love that show. It's packed. It's chock full of jokes. And like, you can watch it over and over. And like, I've seen this season four times and I'm still, I don't remember things. Like, it's so nice to have a bad memory for stuff like this.

So much more to talk about, including a run in with Larry David and more than a run in a hangout with Larry David, private jets, whale watching, constipation, six flags, and much more this week on the Nicky Glaser podcast.

Don't be out there. And Jackson Hole. I've been studying over the weeks. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in

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